How do you like your death tolls?

September 14, 2016 3:42 AM

Which Shakespeare Play Should You See? An Illustrated Flowchart
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (44 comments total)

Bucketlist all 37.
posted by fairmettle at 4:29 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]

I asked for laughs and it gave me the Merchant of Venice.
posted by Segundus at 4:31 AM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]

Quite right about Cymbeline. I have seen it a couple of times recently. It is clear that Shakespeare's brain was exploding as he tried to figure out something genuinely new to do, and in the meantime he threw together every plot element he could think of. Very entertaining.
posted by Major Tom at 4:37 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]

Well, I probably would have read King Lear or Othello first, but now I'm thinking of moving ahead with Cymbeline.
posted by bigendian at 5:36 AM on September 14, 2016

Whichever one's playing is probably the correct answer here. I typically have to drive an hour to see Shakespeare live so I'm not picky.

That said, I've had a lot more luck with comedies. Shakespeare companies seem to have more luck with the funny ones in terms of avoiding a production that drags on or loses the thread.

Also, the comedies are just the best ones anyway.
posted by selfnoise at 5:52 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

The most arrows point to Titus Andronicus, so that's clearly the Best Play, and so therefore the one kids should be started on first at schools.
posted by bonehead at 5:54 AM on September 14, 2016 [14 favorites]

Talk about your poor timing; I booked tickets for King Lear at the Barbican only this morning, picking that over a modern adaptation of Cymbeline...
posted by fatfrank at 5:55 AM on September 14, 2016

Ha! £10 tickets for Cymbeline left; BOOM!

Thanks AlonzoMosleyFBI!
posted by fatfrank at 6:00 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

My first question after seeing it was, "WHERE CAN I BUY THE POSTER TAKE MY MONEY" and it turns out that a poster is in the works!

Yay!
posted by cooker girl at 6:13 AM on September 14, 2016

Cymbeline's got a very twisty plot.
posted by otherchaz at 6:38 AM on September 14, 2016

Following the "Laugh" path and ending up at "Measure for Measure" seems....questionable? But I guess there wasn't enough room on the poster for a starting path marked "Feel incredibly conflicted about what you've just witnessed" or "Die of claustrophobia" or "Stare on in horror as the farce gets darker and darker, and the silences become more and more oppressive, and the possibility of redemption for ANYONE -on stage or in the audience - comes to seem more and more like a hopeless fantasy". Those probably would've taken up too much space, I guess.

God, I love "Measure for Measure"...
posted by Dorinda at 6:38 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]

What does it say about me that both of my first two runs led me straight to Titus Andronicus? Never mind, don't wanna know.
posted by martin q blank at 6:49 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

I like that there are a few plays that are impossible to get to if you start at the top.
posted by drezdn at 6:52 AM on September 14, 2016

Pn my first journey, I find that they apparently think that Romeo & Juliet is a romance instead of a comedy.
posted by cmoj at 6:53 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

Also, the comedies are just the best ones anyway.

More than likely, this is just a matter of preference, but there are only so many ways to tell a story about mistaken identities, willfully obscured identities, and general silliness all ended with a big flurry of unmasking and everyone getting married. Not, of course, that that stopped Shakespeare from writing as many variations as he could.

Tragedies, all the way.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:00 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]

What Shakespeare play should you see? Henry IV, Part 1. That's it.
posted by Billiken at 7:02 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

Why not see all of 'em? (PDF)
posted by Paul Slade at 7:14 AM on September 14, 2016

when young: see Romeo.It tells you what happens when you disregard family
when newly married: see Othello and learn what jealousy can do
when married 7 years: see Anthony and Cleopatra for adultery
when still married for 15 years: see Macbeth for ambitious wife
when old: Lear for how your kids might treat you and what you face in the future
posted by Postroad at 7:22 AM on September 14, 2016 [16 favorites]

I like this, oh, yes. A poster! My kingdom for a poster!
posted by BlueHorse at 7:32 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think the first Shakespeare play I read (8th grade) was Romeo and Juliet. I thought they were idiots who deserved to die.
The second was Julius Caesar (sophomore year HS), and I was bored stiff.
The third was Macbeth and oh yeah, that was my jam. It's still my favorite.
I refuse to ever read or see the one I call "Gaslight ad Abuse Your Wife Into Submission" again. But the rest I can generally enjoy.
Though Romeo and Juliet are still idiots.

I still maintain that if you're going to start kids with tragedies, use Macbeth or at least Hamlet (teen angst, swordfights). Once I had read some comedies, I was confused as to why you wouldn't start kids with some of those, they're so much easier. But then of course, they also have so many more dirty jokes and I assume that's what scares off the school board.
posted by emjaybee at 7:43 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

Seriously perfect for Cymbeline, which I can't recommend enough if you've never seen it. It's like Shakespeare took all of his most famous plots and shoved them into a single story, but with everyone not being idiots and thus the plots not going the way you'd expect. It's almost comparable to Into the Woods, really.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:49 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

Is it bad that I kind of want a t-shirt? While a poster would indeed be awesome unless you routinely wear a posterboard for some reason it's simply not as effective as a conversation starter / look how educated I am peacock feather.
posted by vuron at 8:03 AM on September 14, 2016

this is easy. just watch all of the Kurosawa adaptations of Shakespeare.

also, Polanski's Macbeth is really kind of good... if you like the idea of Prince Valiant as a 70s dirtbag who's shown up at your house drunk and asking where the party is.
posted by ennui.bz at 8:15 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

I love that Titus Andronicus is so ridiculously violent that Hamlet (which leaves only one major character alive at the end) gets to be described as having a "moderate" death toll.
posted by howfar at 8:30 AM on September 14, 2016

This is fantastic. Apparently I really need to see Henry VI which I have never seen. Any Henry VI fans out there? Harold Bloom says that it sucks pretty bad.
posted by bukvich at 8:55 AM on September 14, 2016

Titus Andronicus is my jam. It's uneven as all hell, but it's got some spectacular stuff in it and not just murders. Speaking of murders, though, I'm going to recycle a comment I made on another thread:

This is all reminding me that I got really bored on a long bus ride one afternoon and decided to itemize all the deaths and other 'orrible deeds in Titus. So, SPOILERS for those of you who haven't read or seen it yet, I guess:


Human sacrifice (Alarbus)
Two filicides (Mutius and Lavinia)
One threatened infanticide (Aaron's son)
Seven murders (Bassianus, nurse, Chiron, Demetrius, Tamora, Titus, Saturninus)
One rape (Lavinia)
Two dismemberments, one offstage, one on (Lavinia and Titus)
Two executions, offstage (Martius and Quintus)--three if you leave in the godforsaken anachronistic Elizabethan horribly misplaced Clown
Cannibalism (Tamora and as many of the rest of the dinner party the director wants)
One insecticide, depending on the version of the text (a fly)
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:56 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

The "Which Samuel Beckett Play Should I See?" Flowchart is waaay more streamlined.
posted by Bob Regular at 9:00 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

The most arrows point to Titus Andronicus, so that's clearly the Best Play, and so therefore the one kids should be started on first at schools.

Funny you should mention that. My wife grew up in Stratford Ontario which has a large Shakespeare festival. When she was in the grade 2 she saw her first Shakespearean play, Titus Andronicus. The teacher, despite the gory storyline, thought it'd be a good one to experience because that play rarely gets staged. Needless to say, the teacher had a lot of explaining to do with some parents who were not as familiar with the play.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:26 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

Pericles... Pericles... Pericles... ah, yeah, there it is, buried at the bottom.

Pericles makes no sense whatsoever. If you're ever having a shit day, just remember that the greatest playwright in English history wrote Pericles.
posted by GuyZero at 9:30 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

This is fantastic. Apparently I really need to see Henry VI which I have never seen. Any Henry VI fans out there? Harold Bloom says that it sucks pretty bad.

Hollow Crown II: all you need to know about Shakespeare’s Henry VI.
posted by Pendragon at 9:30 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm assuming the fellow at the bottom right with the question mark over his head represents Romeo and Ethel, the Pirate's Daughter.
posted by BWA at 9:52 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

Pericles makes no sense whatsoever. If you're ever having a shit day, just remember that the greatest playwright in English history wrote Pericles.

Nah. Pericles is more like that unfinished work document you have to take off your less-talented colleague because they've screwed it up and it's past deadline, then you spend all night working on it until it kind of looks alright, then you send it to the printer accidentally leaving "track changes" and "show all comments" selected. And then the printer eats it. That's Pericles.
posted by Sonny Jim at 10:36 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

I'm pretty sure Taming of the Shrew should follow "do you want to leave the theater angry?"
posted by craven_morhead at 10:54 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

That's a description of how the Pericles collaboration must have gone. This is now my new head canon.
posted by Quasirandom at 10:55 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

I saw Henry IV at the Oregon Shakespeare festival, and I cried. It was wonderful, but I think if it hadn't been superbly acted it could easily be a snooze. Cymbeline is one I have always wanted to see but never found it staged anywhere remotely nearby. I love how complicated it is. The ending is so frustrating! I'm jealous of all you who have seen it!
posted by branravenraven at 11:09 AM on September 14, 2016

Misread flowchart to say Henry the IV was a snooze...sorry!
posted by branravenraven at 11:16 AM on September 14, 2016

How can the plays with Falstaff not be along the path of "do you want to laugh?"?.

Seconding Titus, the Seattle Shakespeare co. did a marvelous staging last year that had my 12 year old son, a gamer nerd, on the edge of his seat.
posted by OHenryPacey at 11:16 AM on September 14, 2016

I left that Seattle Titus at the intermission because it was too 12 year old gamer nerd specific. And not enough talky. Loved the season's R&J, though, which did a great job with "all these people are kind of stupid!" and also the music.

Saw a Coriolanus years ago in Ashland in the pouring, pouring rain, so wet that most of the audience left and the actors gave up on their costumes and came out in ponchos and the fight scenes were skidding and scary (and then got simplified, I think). It was SO GOOD. By the end I had been sitting breathless and soaked so long I couldn't quite straighten up until well out of the theater.

The next morning, in the B&B, the other guests couldn't think why we'd stayed and we couldn't think why they'd left.
posted by clew at 2:32 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

A few years ago I saw Shakespeare in the Park's A Comedy of Errors in the pouring rain after most of the audience had left and the rest of us came down to fill the first three rows. It was awesome. If you ever have the chance to watch dedicated actors get through one of these shows in inclement weather, it's hard to express how worth-it it is.
posted by Navelgazer at 2:37 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

T E A M T R A G E D Y
posted by dame at 2:46 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

I ended up at "Love's Labour's Lost", which I have never seen. I've been trying to see all the plays I've missed because there's pretty much nothing like seeing a new Shakespeare play when you're an adult and not a 12 year old kid. For some inexplicable reason I had never seen "A Midsummer Night's Dream" until a couple of years ago. I still can't believe that a human being was capable of writing that play, never mind in 1595.
posted by acrasis at 3:57 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

I had never seen "A Midsummer Night's Dream" until a couple of years ago. I still can't believe that a human being was capable of writing that play, never mind in 1595.

Having seen a half-dozen different productions of the play it only gets better over time as you compare interpretations and stagings and can use a great play as a backdrop to try to appreciate the other elements of acting and staging.

The best production I ever saw was in High Park in Toronto (where the annual Shakespeare production is amazingly amazing) and half the troupe were circus performers or something I guess. To see Puck do a handstand on the edge of the upper balcony and go over and swing down to the lower stage... he seemed like an actual fairy to me.

God, I love "Measure for Measure"...

Yeah, I too found it weird. It's so over-the-top melodramatic I felt like I was watching an olde English telenovela.
posted by GuyZero at 4:15 PM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

this is easy. just watch all of the Kurosawa adaptations of Shakespeare.

also, Polanski's Macbeth yt is really kind of good...

Polanski's 'Macbeth' is my fave interpretation of Shakespeare on film, it's really gritty and visceral. I also liked Baz's 'Romeo + Juliet', and Olivier's 'Hamlet'.

When Kurosawa adapted Shakespeare, he kinda turned it into his own thing.

Best live Shakespeare that I ever saw was a McMaster University student production of 'A Midsummer Night’s Dream' in 2013. It was quite stunning.
posted by ovvl at 6:36 PM on September 14, 2016

If you're in the Chicago area, Lake Forest College puts on an outdoor production of a different Shakespeare play every summer, and it was always pretty good.

On the other hand, possibly oddest staging I've ever seen was Twelfth Night performed in a shopping mall. Surprisingly well done, too.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:03 AM on September 15, 2016 [1 favorite]