Ellen DeGeneres and Michelle Obama go to CVS
September 14, 2016 9:07 AM Subscribe
The words that keep popping into my head are "I want to marry Michelle Obama." Except that's not me talking, that's my inner five year-old. And he's not expressing a crush or physical admiration, let alone an actual desire to marry someone. He just means that feeling you get when you're very little and a grownup is just so clearly awesome and amazing and mindblowing that you just want them to take you with them forever so you can feel as great as you feel in their presence all the time.
All I'm saying is she's the coolest.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:19 AM on September 14, 2016 [48 favorites]
All I'm saying is she's the coolest.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:19 AM on September 14, 2016 [48 favorites]
Ellen is such a ray of sunshine, and Michelle Obama proves she can be a big ol' goof.
"Let's sign the baby!"
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 9:19 AM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
"Let's sign the baby!"
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 9:19 AM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
Ellen "Sui" DeGeneris
posted by Going To Maine at 9:21 AM on September 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 9:21 AM on September 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
I'm sitting here sick and miserable and I just accidentally dumped my breakfast in the sink, so what I'm say is that I really, really needed this. Thanks.
posted by btfreek at 9:21 AM on September 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by btfreek at 9:21 AM on September 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
Yeah, I know. :( Hope me, mods!
posted by Guy Smiley at 9:28 AM on September 14, 2016
posted by Guy Smiley at 9:28 AM on September 14, 2016
Michelle is coming back to that CVS in 2017, and she's not bringing Ellen.
posted by Peach at 9:43 AM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Peach at 9:43 AM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
Being in this CVS when this happened would have, for me, been proof that God exists and is relatively benign.
posted by dis_integration at 9:44 AM on September 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by dis_integration at 9:44 AM on September 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
The smile on Jacqueline's face when they sign the box of wine!
The real, genuine warmth in Michelle's voice when she sees the (SUPER CUTE OMG LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS) baby!
posted by joyceanmachine at 9:45 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
The real, genuine warmth in Michelle's voice when she sees the (SUPER CUTE OMG LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS) baby!
posted by joyceanmachine at 9:45 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
and yet if you have no political sympathy for the people involved, the fact that Michelle Obama apparently has never encountered wine in a box strikes the same chords as when GHW Bush discovered checkout scanners at the supermarket.
I mean, I would never hate anyone for this, but it's clear Degeneres and Obama have not been in anything like a CVS for a long long time. It's fascinating and unsettling once you get past the jokes.
posted by ennui.bz at 9:48 AM on September 14, 2016 [27 favorites]
I mean, I would never hate anyone for this, but it's clear Degeneres and Obama have not been in anything like a CVS for a long long time. It's fascinating and unsettling once you get past the jokes.
posted by ennui.bz at 9:48 AM on September 14, 2016 [27 favorites]
I guess I could summarize my discontent with the entire Obama presidency as disappointment that there wasn't more Michelle.
posted by jamjam at 9:51 AM on September 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by jamjam at 9:51 AM on September 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
I dunno those wine boxes are sometimes tricky to figure out even for a certified low-class lush like myself. Anyway I thought the 'out of touch' theme was part of the joke.
posted by dis_integration at 9:51 AM on September 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by dis_integration at 9:51 AM on September 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
"That's not a cup. That's not an official cup to use" is the best response to someone popping the cap off a vodka bottle in the middle of the store with the intent of using it to drink boxed wine.
posted by zachlipton at 9:53 AM on September 14, 2016 [23 favorites]
posted by zachlipton at 9:53 AM on September 14, 2016 [23 favorites]
Mod note: I've de-box-wined the spelling, carry on.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:08 AM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:08 AM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
I have seen Heaven, and it's Michelle Obama giving me wine at a CVS.
When I saw Southside With You (a sweet, quiet, thoughtful delight that deserves to be seen AND opens with a great Janet Jackson song) a couple of weeks ago, I was struck by a soft melancholy about half way through thinking that almost the entire world is never going to get to go on a date with Michelle Obama and that felt very unfair.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:19 AM on September 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
When I saw Southside With You (a sweet, quiet, thoughtful delight that deserves to be seen AND opens with a great Janet Jackson song) a couple of weeks ago, I was struck by a soft melancholy about half way through thinking that almost the entire world is never going to get to go on a date with Michelle Obama and that felt very unfair.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:19 AM on September 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
the fact that Michelle Obama apparently has never encountered wine in a box strikes the same chords as when GHW Bush discovered checkout scanners at the supermarket.
Box wine is not a new thing. I remember my parents having it in the fridge when I was a teenager.
posted by jonmc at 10:21 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Box wine is not a new thing. I remember my parents having it in the fridge when I was a teenager.
posted by jonmc at 10:21 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
I love them both so much I want to five-year-old-marry both of them. Also for-real-marry.
posted by LarsC at 10:24 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by LarsC at 10:24 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Box wine is not a new thing. I remember my parents having it in the fridge when I was a teenager.
posted by jonmc
but you're only 22 jon
posted by beerperson at 10:25 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by jonmc
but you're only 22 jon
posted by beerperson at 10:25 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
I don't think there's any more reason to suppose she was serious about not understanding box wine than she was about believing the call button was an intercom. It was a comedy bit. They were being silly. These were jokes.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:26 AM on September 14, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:26 AM on September 14, 2016 [11 favorites]
It's fascinating and unsettling once you get past the jokes.
...why is it unsettling that the first lady and Ellen don't know how to open a box a wine? I didn't know how to open the box of wine I bought last week because I had never bought that brand before.
I also have never seen anyone NOT have that experience at self-checkout ("ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO COMPLY").
posted by danny the boy at 10:26 AM on September 14, 2016 [23 favorites]
...why is it unsettling that the first lady and Ellen don't know how to open a box a wine? I didn't know how to open the box of wine I bought last week because I had never bought that brand before.
I also have never seen anyone NOT have that experience at self-checkout ("ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO COMPLY").
posted by danny the boy at 10:26 AM on September 14, 2016 [23 favorites]
I mean, I would never hate anyone for this, but it's clear Degeneres and Obama have not been in anything like a CVS for a long long time. It's fascinating and unsettling once you get past the jokes.
I think you need to give Michelle credit for the fact that she's been in a sort of gilded cage for the past eight years. Given the amount of time and money (public money) that it costs for Michelle Obama to go anywhere as FLOTUS, it would almost be irresponsible of her to be poppin' down to the CVS for sundries. So yeah, she'd never heard of Coinstar (not that that wasn't blatant product placement, ditto Franzia), and I'm pretty sure self checkouts weren't a thing at drugstores in 2009, and who the hell knows what the rules for buying gift cards are from one store to the next.
So, to the extent that either of them looked "clueless," I think that that was Ellen hamming it up. Michelle seemed to be processing stuff like "oh, that's different than what I remember...," which is how I'd want an intelligent woman on her way back into the real world to act.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:27 AM on September 14, 2016 [17 favorites]
I think you need to give Michelle credit for the fact that she's been in a sort of gilded cage for the past eight years. Given the amount of time and money (public money) that it costs for Michelle Obama to go anywhere as FLOTUS, it would almost be irresponsible of her to be poppin' down to the CVS for sundries. So yeah, she'd never heard of Coinstar (not that that wasn't blatant product placement, ditto Franzia), and I'm pretty sure self checkouts weren't a thing at drugstores in 2009, and who the hell knows what the rules for buying gift cards are from one store to the next.
So, to the extent that either of them looked "clueless," I think that that was Ellen hamming it up. Michelle seemed to be processing stuff like "oh, that's different than what I remember...," which is how I'd want an intelligent woman on her way back into the real world to act.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:27 AM on September 14, 2016 [17 favorites]
I only got about two minutes in before something else grabbed my attention, but that was long enough for "Bernie Sanders!" so I'm good for now.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:34 AM on September 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:34 AM on September 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
Here's Snopes on that "George H. W. is confused by grocery scanners" thing, btw.
Even if it had been true, I'd argue that not being super familiar with technology that only became available a few years before you entered the VP/POTUS bubble for over a decade isn't something to be ashamed of.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:35 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Even if it had been true, I'd argue that not being super familiar with technology that only became available a few years before you entered the VP/POTUS bubble for over a decade isn't something to be ashamed of.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:35 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
it's clear DeGeneres and Obama have not been in ... a CVS for a long long time.
To be honest, neither have I: last time I walked into one (and there's one almost next-door to me) I was confronted with the worst, rudest salesclerk in the history of salesclerks. I've done my share of retail/sales jobs, I'm normally willing to have a polite interaction because I am aware of what a crappy job it can be; but that does not mean some snotty little teenager a third my age gets to treat me like shit because she's been having a bad day before I even arrived or she hates her job or she's having a fight with her boyfriend. So, I haven't been in a CVS for about five years now. I don't miss it.
posted by easily confused at 10:36 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
To be honest, neither have I: last time I walked into one (and there's one almost next-door to me) I was confronted with the worst, rudest salesclerk in the history of salesclerks. I've done my share of retail/sales jobs, I'm normally willing to have a polite interaction because I am aware of what a crappy job it can be; but that does not mean some snotty little teenager a third my age gets to treat me like shit because she's been having a bad day before I even arrived or she hates her job or she's having a fight with her boyfriend. So, I haven't been in a CVS for about five years now. I don't miss it.
posted by easily confused at 10:36 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
but you're only 22 jon
Uh, what? I'm forty fucking five. Get off my damned lawn.
posted by jonmc at 10:59 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
Uh, what? I'm forty fucking five. Get off my damned lawn.
posted by jonmc at 10:59 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
Michelle is coming back to that CVS in 2017, and she's not bringing Ellen.
If anybody needs me in 2017, I'll be in a CVS.
posted by NoMich at 11:01 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
If anybody needs me in 2017, I'll be in a CVS.
posted by NoMich at 11:01 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
That is the cleanest CVS I've ever seen.
Can we get some celebrities and/or political figures to visit the one near my house?
Also, is Michelle Obama really tall or is Ellen DeGeneres really short?
posted by madajb at 11:08 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Can we get some celebrities and/or political figures to visit the one near my house?
Also, is Michelle Obama really tall or is Ellen DeGeneres really short?
posted by madajb at 11:08 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Both ?
posted by Pendragon at 11:16 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Pendragon at 11:16 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Please add "HappyFunSeptember" tag! :)
posted by cynical pinnacle at 11:26 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by cynical pinnacle at 11:26 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
and yet if you have no political sympathy for the people involved, the fact that Michelle Obama apparently has never encountered wine in a box strikes the same chords as when GHW Bush discovered checkout scanners at the supermarket.
Really? Bush children have been raised as the ultra-rich for several generations. Michelle Obama was raised working-class/middle-class, raised two children, and has led a bit of a sequestered life for only the last eight years. I don't see how her jokey bit with boxed wine strikes in any way the same chords as Bush's unscripted (and apparently not-actually-true) faux pas.
Also, is Michelle Obama really tall or is Ellen DeGeneres really short?
If Google is correct, Michelle is 5'11" and Ellen is 5'7", so I'm going with the former.
posted by zombieflanders at 11:29 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
Really? Bush children have been raised as the ultra-rich for several generations. Michelle Obama was raised working-class/middle-class, raised two children, and has led a bit of a sequestered life for only the last eight years. I don't see how her jokey bit with boxed wine strikes in any way the same chords as Bush's unscripted (and apparently not-actually-true) faux pas.
Also, is Michelle Obama really tall or is Ellen DeGeneres really short?
If Google is correct, Michelle is 5'11" and Ellen is 5'7", so I'm going with the former.
posted by zombieflanders at 11:29 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
UGGHHH That's my local Burbank CVS, why wasn't I there!? I don't even drink wine and I would have chugged the whole box for Michelle. Please don't stop being our First Lady :(
Also that CVS is pretty clean all the time, yes. It smells okay, too. Sometimes they don't. :I
posted by sprezzy at 11:34 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also that CVS is pretty clean all the time, yes. It smells okay, too. Sometimes they don't. :I
posted by sprezzy at 11:34 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
That was totally faked. There's no way they could have left the store that easily without waiting 10 minutes for all the coupons to print out on the end of the receipt
posted by Mchelly at 11:39 AM on September 14, 2016 [33 favorites]
posted by Mchelly at 11:39 AM on September 14, 2016 [33 favorites]
It was an awesome video, hilarious.
But it clearly demonstrates the left/right divide.
If it was about Mike Pence's wife, and she did not know what a Coinstar machine was or self-checkout we'd be boiling the tar and plucking chickens.
(I'm pretty certain the Slovenian supermodel has no clue how to open a box of wine.)
posted by Keith Talent at 11:44 AM on September 14, 2016
But it clearly demonstrates the left/right divide.
If it was about Mike Pence's wife, and she did not know what a Coinstar machine was or self-checkout we'd be boiling the tar and plucking chickens.
(I'm pretty certain the Slovenian supermodel has no clue how to open a box of wine.)
posted by Keith Talent at 11:44 AM on September 14, 2016
That was totally faked. There's no way they could have left the store that easily without waiting 10 minutes for all the coupons to print out on the end of the receipt
(STANDING AND APPLAUDING)
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:45 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
(STANDING AND APPLAUDING)
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:45 AM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
You know why they keep comparing Melania Trump to Michelle Obama, right? Even though Obama isn't Trump's opponent? It's because as much of a losing, uphill slog as it is to have to face off against Michelle freaking Obama, it's still easier than pitting Melania against her husband's opponent's actual spouse, a beloved US president with a genius IQ and absurd levels of charm. It's pretty rough for her either way, frankly.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:48 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:48 AM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Michelle's tall, yep. 5'11". which I have memorized because we're the same height and I love her and it's like wheee I share A Thing with Michelle Obama!! yay!! I got a kick out of seeing how she holds herself straight when she's mostly alone, but when she's interacting with others she carefully bends in several places to be at their height (this is also a thing I do, so I notice it).
Boxed wine has been around since the 80s in the US yeah. I think we may have invented it? I remember it being all this "Californian innovation!" thing at the time. My parents were huge on it, my very first wine was a California rosé out of a box. *checks teh intarwebs* Oh! How 'bout that! It's an Aussie invention.
On preview – I have no idea what a Coinstar machine is either. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY AMERICA. *checks the intarwebs again*
- turns your coins into cash. with a fee. uh wut. coins are cash. Does cash mean paper bills now? *been gone since 1997 don't mind me*
- gift cards, no fee. Okay. Not too bad. Still don't get why you can't just, um, use the coins to pay for stuff.
- charity, cool.
posted by fraula at 11:48 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Boxed wine has been around since the 80s in the US yeah. I think we may have invented it? I remember it being all this "Californian innovation!" thing at the time. My parents were huge on it, my very first wine was a California rosé out of a box. *checks teh intarwebs* Oh! How 'bout that! It's an Aussie invention.
On preview – I have no idea what a Coinstar machine is either. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY AMERICA. *checks the intarwebs again*
- turns your coins into cash. with a fee. uh wut. coins are cash. Does cash mean paper bills now? *been gone since 1997 don't mind me*
- gift cards, no fee. Okay. Not too bad. Still don't get why you can't just, um, use the coins to pay for stuff.
- charity, cool.
posted by fraula at 11:48 AM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Not everyone consumes enough wine where they consider buying it by the box to save money, or spend enough time in the wine aisle to be familiar with the selection. The coinstar is different than the one in my local grocery store, where you take the receipt to the service desk to cash out, I'd be confused by that ATM thing, too.
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:52 AM on September 14, 2016
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:52 AM on September 14, 2016
If Google is correct, Michelle is 5'11" and Ellen is 5'7", so I'm going with the former.
If you listened to Mystery Show, you would known not to trust anything that the Internet says about a celebrity's height.
(also, I'd like to call out the moderators of celebheights.com for maintaining a page of internet comments remarking on Michelle Obama's body that is actually pleasant to read -- I was close to not looking her up at all because I was afraid of what I'd see, but this is nice. I mean, there's one kind of hinky comment but it's complementary so I'll allow it)
posted by sparklemotion at 11:52 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you listened to Mystery Show, you would known not to trust anything that the Internet says about a celebrity's height.
(also, I'd like to call out the moderators of celebheights.com for maintaining a page of internet comments remarking on Michelle Obama's body that is actually pleasant to read -- I was close to not looking her up at all because I was afraid of what I'd see, but this is nice. I mean, there's one kind of hinky comment but it's complementary so I'll allow it)
posted by sparklemotion at 11:52 AM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
her husband's opponent's actual spouse, a beloved US president with a genius IQ and absurd levels of charm.
Yabut can Bill open a box of wine? (I'd be very surprised if he wasn't... intimately familiar with that process, TBH).
posted by bonehead at 12:23 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yabut can Bill open a box of wine? (I'd be very surprised if he wasn't... intimately familiar with that process, TBH).
posted by bonehead at 12:23 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Delightful and perfect for the day I wish I weren't having. Thank you!
posted by rtha at 12:29 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by rtha at 12:29 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I mean, I would never hate anyone for this, but it's clear Degeneres and Obama have not been in anything like a CVS for a long long time. It's fascinating and unsettling once you get past the jokes.
Michele Obama was on James Corden's carpool karaoke last month, and she noted that she hasn't driven herself or even been near the steering wheel of a car during her time in the White House except on very rare occasions, such as when Malia was learning how to drive a few months back. So, 7.5 years without being able to drive. Nothing about life in the First Family is normal. They're kept in a deliberate bubble for safety reasons.
We can play gotcha games with this information if we like and make theatrical gasps. "FLOTUS clearly is out of touch with real people, like America's drivers and commuters" - and such. But that seems a little silly.
posted by zarq at 12:31 PM on September 14, 2016 [19 favorites]
Michele Obama was on James Corden's carpool karaoke last month, and she noted that she hasn't driven herself or even been near the steering wheel of a car during her time in the White House except on very rare occasions, such as when Malia was learning how to drive a few months back. So, 7.5 years without being able to drive. Nothing about life in the First Family is normal. They're kept in a deliberate bubble for safety reasons.
We can play gotcha games with this information if we like and make theatrical gasps. "FLOTUS clearly is out of touch with real people, like America's drivers and commuters" - and such. But that seems a little silly.
posted by zarq at 12:31 PM on September 14, 2016 [19 favorites]
The first time I encountered a box of wine (around 1984), I pulled the dispenser piece completely out of the box and it started pouring all over the floor. So, I give Shelly the benefit of a doubt.
posted by tippiedog at 12:42 PM on September 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by tippiedog at 12:42 PM on September 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
i aint gonna hate because if it were possible for my misanthropic ass to never set foot in a CVS again (or any big box store for that matter), you can bet i wouldn't.
let's be honest, if i had money my lifestyle would most closely resemble that of mister burns in the episode where he builds a casino.
posted by entropicamericana at 12:49 PM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
let's be honest, if i had money my lifestyle would most closely resemble that of mister burns in the episode where he builds a casino.
posted by entropicamericana at 12:49 PM on September 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
i aint gonna hate because if it were possible for my misanthropic ass to never set foot in a CVS again (or any big box store for that matter), you can bet i wouldn't.
I'm with you here. My years of pondering exactly what I would do if I came into millions does include paying someone else to shop for me. That's one thing I would consider a luxary and give myself. I hate shopping so, so much, especially for mundane things I need all the time. Of course in my daydream includes said people getting paid really, really well because I'm all for sharing the dream. Plus I just generally would feel shitty if I was paying people shitty to do things I find shitty.
posted by Jalliah at 1:33 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm with you here. My years of pondering exactly what I would do if I came into millions does include paying someone else to shop for me. That's one thing I would consider a luxary and give myself. I hate shopping so, so much, especially for mundane things I need all the time. Of course in my daydream includes said people getting paid really, really well because I'm all for sharing the dream. Plus I just generally would feel shitty if I was paying people shitty to do things I find shitty.
posted by Jalliah at 1:33 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
zombieflanders: the fact that Michelle Obama apparently has never encountered wine in a box strikes the same chords as when GHW Bush discovered checkout scanners at the supermarket.Yeah, no. Being an expert on opening CVS box wine is not a touchstone of normality.
It's closer to a cause for an intervention.
Most self-respecting members of polite society will, as a matter of form, feign ignorance, skepticism, and mild embarrassment about box wine - no matter how many times they've enjoyed it before. It's like apologizing for a cluttered house or bringing store bought cupcakes to a party. It's fine, but the pretense of higher standards helps keep society from devolving into a Mad Max culinary Thunderdome.
posted by Davenhill at 1:34 PM on September 14, 2016 [12 favorites]
"This is not how you behave in a CVS!"
You don't know me, Shelly!
posted by sldownard at 1:48 PM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
You don't know me, Shelly!
posted by sldownard at 1:48 PM on September 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Regarding Michelle's familiarity with CVS and/or box wine... It's been awhile since I lived in the District, but unless the laws have changed recently, I don't think CVS sells wine in its DC stores. Definitely in Virginia, though. OTOH, she could have popped into the DC Costco...which sells liquor, unlike the Virginia stores.
posted by candyland at 2:26 PM on September 14, 2016
posted by candyland at 2:26 PM on September 14, 2016
I know Ellen DeGeneres is an entertainer first and foremost, but she really just throws Michelle Obama's exceptional qualities (her considerateness for one) into stark relief in this video. I can accept that a lot of the obnoxious things she did in the store was for comedic relief, but using a megaphone around a sleeping baby seems really douchey.
posted by peripathetic at 2:43 PM on September 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by peripathetic at 2:43 PM on September 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
yeah, Ellen's wacky shtick wears thin for sure. God love her, she seems like a decent person, but if she came at me with that bamboo back scratcher the results would not be pretty.
posted by palomar at 2:56 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by palomar at 2:56 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I don't think CVS sells wine in its DC stores
There's always the crappy "wine product"! Chateau Diana or whatever brand.
So, no, they don't sell wine.
posted by R a c h e l at 3:30 PM on September 14, 2016
There's always the crappy "wine product"! Chateau Diana or whatever brand.
So, no, they don't sell wine.
posted by R a c h e l at 3:30 PM on September 14, 2016
Most self-respecting members of polite society will, as a matter of form, feign ignorance, skepticism, and mild embarrassment about box wine - no matter how many times they've enjoyed it before.
Boxes (really bags) for wine (like cans for beer) are a superior storage and distribution system for the beverage. The protect the unopened wine from light, and after opening, the vacuum in the bag protects the wine from oxygen. There are a number of well rated boxed wines, and because the wine in an open box lasts far longer than the wine in an open bottle could, it is a preferable system for support of a healthy self-care habit that includes one glass of red wine per day .
i aint gonna hate because if it were possible for my misanthropic ass to never set foot in a CVS again (or any big box store for that matter), you can bet i wouldn't.
> I'm with you here. My years of pondering exactly what I would do if I came into millions does include paying someone else to shop for me. That's one thing I would consider a luxary and give myself. I hate shopping so, so much, especially for mundane things I need all the time.
If you live in the right sort of area, you may be pleasantly surprised at what Amazon Same-Day and/or Amazon Prime Now can cause to be brought to your door, by a person whose tip level you get to determine, within a very short window of time. Like, I haven't had Amazon deliver me my once-a-month box of BotaBox Redvolution yet, but I could.
posted by sparklemotion at 3:32 PM on September 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
Boxes (really bags) for wine (like cans for beer) are a superior storage and distribution system for the beverage. The protect the unopened wine from light, and after opening, the vacuum in the bag protects the wine from oxygen. There are a number of well rated boxed wines, and because the wine in an open box lasts far longer than the wine in an open bottle could, it is a preferable system for support of a healthy self-care habit that includes one glass of red wine per day .
i aint gonna hate because if it were possible for my misanthropic ass to never set foot in a CVS again (or any big box store for that matter), you can bet i wouldn't.
> I'm with you here. My years of pondering exactly what I would do if I came into millions does include paying someone else to shop for me. That's one thing I would consider a luxary and give myself. I hate shopping so, so much, especially for mundane things I need all the time.
If you live in the right sort of area, you may be pleasantly surprised at what Amazon Same-Day and/or Amazon Prime Now can cause to be brought to your door, by a person whose tip level you get to determine, within a very short window of time. Like, I haven't had Amazon deliver me my once-a-month box of BotaBox Redvolution yet, but I could.
posted by sparklemotion at 3:32 PM on September 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
my good friend ran into them there! randomly! meanwhile I've only seen like five celebrities since moving to LA 1.5 years ago and three of them were pauly shore.
posted by changeling at 3:43 PM on September 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by changeling at 3:43 PM on September 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
You can see at the beginning of the clip the CHP uniforms and vehicles. We'll sell alcoholic beverages from any store out here. (California Quail sheds single tear; goes to AA meeting.)
posted by Guy Smiley at 3:56 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Guy Smiley at 3:56 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I've heard rumors that Michelle really wants to move back to Chicago in two years when Sasha is done with school, which will dramatically increase my odds of running into her at CVS. Doubt she'll live on the north side but a man can dream.
posted by MarvinTheCat at 4:26 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by MarvinTheCat at 4:26 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I've only seen like five celebrities since moving to LA 1.5 years ago and three of them were pauly shore.
I've been in NYC for 15-odd years and I've met dozens (depending on your definition of 'celebrity') but meeting Weird Al Yankovic at Laguardia Airport when I was 13 still ranks at the top because of Al's incredibly cool and gracious behavior.
posted by jonmc at 4:37 PM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
I've been in NYC for 15-odd years and I've met dozens (depending on your definition of 'celebrity') but meeting Weird Al Yankovic at Laguardia Airport when I was 13 still ranks at the top because of Al's incredibly cool and gracious behavior.
posted by jonmc at 4:37 PM on September 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
You could start a boxed-wine drinking game tied to how many times Mrs. O says "annoying" in that video.
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:20 PM on September 14, 2016
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:20 PM on September 14, 2016
Ah, a bernie sanders joke. funny as always, ellen.
maybe you can also come up with a laugh track for our corporate overlords while you're at it?
posted by EricGjerde at 6:22 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
maybe you can also come up with a laugh track for our corporate overlords while you're at it?
posted by EricGjerde at 6:22 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I grew up thinking that blueberry schnapps with seven up was a sophisticated beverage so this whole box wine ignorance means you're an out of touch elite thing is kind of hilarious. I know that box wine exists but that's about it. I've never seen anyone actually drink it.
posted by winna at 6:23 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by winna at 6:23 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you live in the right sort of area, you may be pleasantly surprised at what Amazon Same-Day and/or Amazon Prime Now can cause to be brought to your door
I don't quite have the budget to do substantial shopping through PrimeNow, and Amazon Pantry confuses me, but I've been dabbling in the delights of "I could have that delivered... today... not have to fight my way through a store nor wait in lines nor juggle heavy bags in from the parking lot..."
I have no idea if this trend is going to continue after the 1099 economy of "technically not-employee drivers" hits its inevitable class-action collapse, but small bits of grocery shopping without supermarket anxiety have been wonderful.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:45 PM on September 14, 2016
I don't quite have the budget to do substantial shopping through PrimeNow, and Amazon Pantry confuses me, but I've been dabbling in the delights of "I could have that delivered... today... not have to fight my way through a store nor wait in lines nor juggle heavy bags in from the parking lot..."
I have no idea if this trend is going to continue after the 1099 economy of "technically not-employee drivers" hits its inevitable class-action collapse, but small bits of grocery shopping without supermarket anxiety have been wonderful.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:45 PM on September 14, 2016
I BET SHE GOES TO MY CVS IN A FEW YEARS WHEN SHE LIVES IN CHICAGO AND I MISS IT
posted by you're a kitty! at 8:50 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by you're a kitty! at 8:50 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Michelle Obama is such a mom in this.
posted by lazuli at 9:00 PM on September 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by lazuli at 9:00 PM on September 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
You guys. This is my CVS. it is 4 blocks from my house. Michelle Obama was in my CVS and I wasn't there because I was at stupid work. Damnit.
posted by Sophie1 at 9:07 PM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 9:07 PM on September 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
I say this a lot: Mrs.Obama is the classiest FLOTUS ever, except for Lady Bird (I guess it's a tie).
I so in love with her, and her husband. Marvelous people.
posted by james33 at 6:01 AM on September 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
I so in love with her, and her husband. Marvelous people.
posted by james33 at 6:01 AM on September 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
gift cards, no fee. Okay. Not too bad. Still don't get why you can't just, um, use the coins to pay for stuff.
Because you can't pay for things on Amazon with a jar full of pennies
posted by Lucinda at 7:51 AM on September 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
Because you can't pay for things on Amazon with a jar full of pennies
posted by Lucinda at 7:51 AM on September 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
Of course not. They would crash the drones.
posted by Mchelly at 8:09 AM on September 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Mchelly at 8:09 AM on September 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Wait, why is "Shelly" the short version of Michelle instead of Chelle?
posted by LizBoBiz at 8:56 AM on September 15, 2016
posted by LizBoBiz at 8:56 AM on September 15, 2016
That was totally faked. There's no way they could have left the store that easily without waiting 10 minutes for all the coupons to print out on the end of the receipt
Related (YouTube)
posted by AndrewInDC at 9:14 AM on September 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Related (YouTube)
posted by AndrewInDC at 9:14 AM on September 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Michelle Obama is such a mom in this.
Her mild but non-participatory reaction to Ellen's Bernie Sanders joke - so mom! I loved it. I could almost hear her saying "if you can't say anything nice ..."
posted by lunasol at 9:26 AM on September 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Her mild but non-participatory reaction to Ellen's Bernie Sanders joke - so mom! I loved it. I could almost hear her saying "if you can't say anything nice ..."
posted by lunasol at 9:26 AM on September 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't know how you boxed wine haters drink wine while swimming in a lake. Bottles wouldn't work quite as well if left floating in the water.
We line a kid's innertube (the kind that has a seat) with a towel, fill it with ice, and put the wine in. I sense Ellen knows this trick already.
posted by ananci at 4:52 PM on September 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
We line a kid's innertube (the kind that has a seat) with a towel, fill it with ice, and put the wine in. I sense Ellen knows this trick already.
posted by ananci at 4:52 PM on September 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
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posted by palomar at 9:16 AM on September 14, 2016 [28 favorites]