Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks

September 16, 2016 9:54 AM

The rise and fall of the advertising jingle.
posted by Chrysostom (69 comments total)

A college friend of my wife was one of the "My baloney has a first name...." kids in the Oscar Meyer commercials years ago.
posted by briank at 9:56 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

There's still a ton of local and regional advertisers who have jingles made for them. Oddly, they're largely for services, like plumbers, carpeting, window replacement, etc.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:00 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

I placed a curse on all ad jingles after a very popular regional furniture store jingle containing a variant of my last name made my playground experience a living hell.
posted by The Whelk at 10:04 AM on September 16, 2016 [8 favorites]

god this article doesn't even mention it and yet here i am, earwormed with that fucking kars4kids jingle

i crave the sweet embrace of death
posted by poffin boffin at 10:06 AM on September 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

I placed a curse on all ad jingles after a very popular regional furniture store jingle containing a variant of my last name made my playground experience a living hell.

As someone growing up with a last name similar to the product touted in the popular series of "Don't squeeze the Charmin!" commercials, I feel your pain.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:11 AM on September 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

try the NBC chimes to banish unwanted jingle earworms
posted by thelonius at 10:12 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Ctrl-F "588-2300" yields 0 results.

I regret this article is sadly under-researched.
posted by mykescipark at 10:12 AM on September 16, 2016 [8 favorites]

As someone growing up with a last name similar to the product touted in the popular series of "Don't squeeze the Charmin!" commercials, I feel your pain.

Third graders following me down the hall singing the jingle to "Charlie!" perfume. Some of them have ass cancer by now, I hope.
posted by thelonius at 10:14 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

EMPIIIIIIIIIRE today
posted by Carillon at 10:15 AM on September 16, 2016 [8 favorites]

Amid all this, Oscar Mayer decided to retire two of the most popular jingles of all time, “My Bologna Has a First Name” and “I Wish I Was an Oscar Mayer Weiner.” In 2010, the company announced a new ad campaign, sans the old tunes.

I... never realized these were different. Like, I thought they were kind of verses of the same song for some reason.
posted by Etrigan at 10:16 AM on September 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

Ive been getting kind of into a lot of Viceland's programming lately since I discovered our cable plan included it . . . but those goddam Kars for Kids ads almost ruin it for me.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 10:17 AM on September 16, 2016

Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z!
Mein bratwurst has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N
posted by SansPoint at 10:19 AM on September 16, 2016 [25 favorites]

The reason I never turn on the TV when I'm home during the day: Eastern Motors
posted by candyland at 10:25 AM on September 16, 2016

I thought the decline of the jingle was related to the fact that most people recognize the "Madison Avenue sound" and learn to immediately ignore it. If not ignore it, we at minimum dislike or intensely hate it, which (for product association) is worse - you don't want potential customers to loathe your company. We know the jingle is an advertisement, thus we reject it... but it's much harder to reject a song that is not overtly an ad. You hear the signature guitar lick of a well-loved song, your ears perk up, and there's a product on screen. You may hate the tactic but you like the music, which makes you NOT dislike the product - the intent is that your feelings for the song get transferred to the thing being advertised.

It's the advertising arms race equivalent of a pop-over ad in electronic media: We learn to ignore tactic 1, so advertisers up the ante with tactic 2. The bastards.
posted by caution live frogs at 10:25 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

caution live frogs: There's also the fact that licensing your song for commercials is one of the few ways left for an artist to make a decent living with their music. Moreso, now that streaming pays fractions of pennies, but even in the iTunes days when people could buy MP3s, the artist's share of the 99 cents was barely anything compared to what they can get selling a license for commercials.

Sometimes it works out really well, though. If DEVO hadn't sold their new song "Watch Us Work It" for a Dell commercial in 2007, we might not have gotten a new album out of them.
posted by SansPoint at 10:29 AM on September 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

Just going to say I'm enjoying the update to the Mr Clean jingle .
posted by DetriusXii at 10:30 AM on September 16, 2016

Awwww. Now I have to go and find my CD of TV commercial jingles.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:33 AM on September 16, 2016

Meanwhile Kars for Kids is still going strong...
posted by Mchelly at 10:43 AM on September 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

westlake shopping cen-ter o/~
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:45 AM on September 16, 2016

I always think of the bit that Ellen did on jingles -- how they randomly pop into your head -- because this happens to me all the time.

"You've got it together ... Caboodles!" And so on.
posted by trillian at 10:51 AM on September 16, 2016

I still have a cassette copy of this album of commercial jingles that I bought 25 years ago. Although I oddly remember it being a much longer collection, maybe 2 cassettes, so maybe this is a truncated version? I'll have to dig through my boxes and see if I can find it.
posted by hippybear at 10:55 AM on September 16, 2016

Oh, I've got one from my childhood that I never see anyone bring up when they talk jingles. Let's see if anyone recognizes it.

"Doors Unlimited... Unlimited Dooooooooooors!"

I had a Math textbook in school called "Mathematics Unlimited" and I would strain to force it to scan to the Doors Unlimited jingle. It never worked, but I did anyway.
posted by SansPoint at 10:56 AM on September 16, 2016

LEXUS...OF SERRAMONTE! o/~
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:57 AM on September 16, 2016

I cannot explain this at all, but this morning on the way to work, the fucking Water Country jingle popped into my head.

Have some fun! Doo-doo-DOO!
posted by uncleozzy at 11:01 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Well, now I have that nothing beats a great pair of Leggs jingle in my head again.
posted by maxsparber at 11:02 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

EMPIIIIIIIIIRE today

I prefer Pearl Jam's cover to the original.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:04 AM on September 16, 2016

The problem with all of these jingles was that they were far too complex and layered. Too many words , too much explaining.

The BEST JINGLE OF OUR TIMES takes the feeling, the whole gestalt of the product (and indeed the universe), and filters out the impurities, distilling it into its truest form.
My fellow Canadians will know what I'm talking about.
posted by chococat at 11:16 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

C'mon, Southeastern Wisconsin, you knew it, you loved it:

♪ ♫ ♬ ER-NIE-VON-SCHLE-DORRRRRRN...
MAIN STREET IN MEN-OMI-NEE FAAAAAALLLLLS! ♫ ♩ ♬ ♪

Who dya know wants ta buy a car?
posted by droplet at 11:16 AM on September 16, 2016 [5 favorites]

“I am stuck on Band-Aid Brand, ‘cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me!”

The original jingle did not have the word "brand" in it I will fight you.
posted by Fleebnork at 11:25 AM on September 16, 2016 [6 favorites]

We don't have the attention span for a whole jingle now, we have the Intel 'bong-bong, bong-bong' or 'Mmm Danone' instead. They are even called 'sonic logos' by some ad people.
posted by Coda Tronca at 11:26 AM on September 16, 2016

A radio station near where I used to live had an insanely catchy little weather intro, "Central PA weather!" It doesn't sound like much, but try scraping it out of your brain.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:30 AM on September 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Chrysostom: and now I have "K-Y-W! News Radio! Ten-Sixtyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" stuck in my head, probably from a childhood spent listening to it on snowy mornings to know if I would have to go to school or not. And then there's the chattering tele-type machines running behind the broadcast all the time. Such a comforting sound.

KYW 1060 used to have real teletype machines chattering in the studio. After switching away, they used a recording of the sound on loop behind the broadcast for a while. When they stopped the teletype noise, enough people complained that they brought it back inside of a few days.
posted by SansPoint at 11:35 AM on September 16, 2016 [6 favorites]

Everyone in Colorado knows how to get to the Tree Farm... (I've not found a video of the commercial, but here's a great cover of the jingle)
posted by jazon at 11:47 AM on September 16, 2016

Semi-related: In the mid-80s, I went to a summer camp at a college for classes, one of which was at the campus radio station ("Broadcast Production" or something). One of the things we did was to tear off stories from the teletype when they came in and read the copy on-air.

Station guy: "A little bell will go off, when the story starts coming in. The more bells you hear, the more important the story is. One bell is something like, "Two car accident on Main Street."

Me: "Okay. So how high does it go?"

Station guy: "I think the highest we've ever used was 26 bells, when Kennedy was shot. But it goes to 30. That means nuclear war."

Me: "Eep."

(details maybe slightly wrong, but I definitely remember being chilled by it)
posted by Chrysostom at 11:48 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Station guy: "I think the highest we've ever used was 26 bells, when Kennedy was shot. But it goes to 30. That means nuclear war."

I am really wondering what 27-29 were now. I guess I could see another (non-nuclear) Pearl Harbor type attack in there somewhere, maybe Aliens Land On White House Lawn.
posted by Etrigan at 11:51 AM on September 16, 2016

McRib is back.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:53 AM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

McRib is no more.
posted by Coda Tronca at 11:54 AM on September 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm lovin' it
posted by hippybear at 11:56 AM on September 16, 2016

I prefer Pearl Jam's cover to the original.

Man, I don't even like Pearl Jam, but I just downloaded a bootleg of that show to hear it.
posted by mykescipark at 12:13 PM on September 16, 2016

Yeah, well tell that to Cellino and Barnes......injury attorneys, call 888-8888
posted by Mrs. Rattery at 12:31 PM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Barry Manilow very strange medley ends with you deserve a break today. That is the worst kind of irony.
posted by bukvich at 12:59 PM on September 16, 2016

Lisa: Doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?
Everyone: I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 1:32 PM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

There's still a ton of local and regional advertisers who have jingles made for them. Oddly, they're largely for services, like plumbers, carpeting, window replacement, etc.

Local radio jingles always seem to be really awkwardly long and not even remotely catchy (which is why I can't think of an example to link to.)
posted by usonian at 1:43 PM on September 16, 2016

“I am stuck on Band-Aid Brand, ‘cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me!”

The original jingle did not have the word "brand" in it I will fight you.

Barry Manilow wrote this jingle!
posted by JenThePro at 1:58 PM on September 16, 2016

Danger! Drama! Killer Drums! The catchiest jingle ever to play late nights in the early 80s NY market:

Riding down the highway in the dead of night
And just ahead there's a terrible fright!
You hit the brakes, they're not all there
And you miss this one by only a hair
You drive away but your hand still shakes
You say to yourself "Gonna fix them brakes!"
You drive a little slower and you say a little prayer:
Won't happen again til you get to Great Bear!
Great Parts...Great Service...Greeeaaat Bear.
posted by apparently at 2:01 PM on September 16, 2016

Shrimp lovers.
posted by pernoctalian at 2:46 PM on September 16, 2016

obligatory

If you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose
posted by hearthpig at 2:52 PM on September 16, 2016

If I could have back even half the brain cells devoted involuntarily to remembering old commercial jingles, I'd be a much happier woman.

"The heavy hitters are all you need,
Call 1-800-LAW-1333."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:04 PM on September 16, 2016

Thanks to a childhood listening to 101.1 WCBS FM, I still cannot hear "Baby, You Can Drive My Car" without immediately thinking there's a 10 minute delay on the lower level of the George Washington, and a 20 minute delay on the upper.
posted by thecaddy at 3:15 PM on September 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

I don't think that Pepsi will use Institutionalized in their ads anytime soon.
posted by brujita at 3:17 PM on September 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

Oh man, local jingles are the BEST. Maryland has some good ones!

Let Eastern Motors . . . finance it all the waaaaaayyyyy.
posted by chainsofreedom at 3:19 PM on September 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Sadly, no YouTube footage exists for this beaut:

It's a light beer with body
It's a great tasting light
It's a light beer with body
The feeling's just right
It's Stroh Light! Stroh Light!
For a taste that satisfies you
Beer after beer
A light beer with body
Stroh LIght is here
It's Stro-(wo-wo-woh) light:
(mmmm)
posted by Sweetie Darling at 3:36 PM on September 16, 2016

I think the "newest" jingle that I can think of is the "You don't have to be lonely, at farmers only dot com!".

Like I feel like jingles can be super effective. They play all the time during commercials that you don't even need to pay attention to, yet it will still somehow get stuck in your head eventually.
posted by littlesq at 3:45 PM on September 16, 2016

the only jingles you'll ever need are wet pets san pablo and jones bbq and foot massage

(bonus video of steph curry dancing to jones bbq for all my fellow dubs fans)
posted by burgerrr at 4:06 PM on September 16, 2016

also whatever the opposite of a jingle is gets you shane company radio ads and they get just as stuck in your head
posted by burgerrr at 4:08 PM on September 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

oh god I'm slipping down a Paul from the Diamond Center rabbit hole

send help
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:13 PM on September 16, 2016

Shoutout to my Northern Ohio MeFites:

Garfield one, two-three, two-three,
Garfield one, two-three, two three.
posted by straight at 4:31 PM on September 16, 2016

Here's some hardcore minimalist electro from 80s Melbourne. "Everybody's wrapped in leather..."
posted by No-sword at 7:17 PM on September 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

More Melburniana: Grand sale, grand sale, grand sale. I dunno if this technically counts as a jingle or if I just heard it so many times that Franco Cozzo's cadences started to sound like music, like that psychological experiment linked from Mefi a few years ago.
posted by No-sword at 7:20 PM on September 16, 2016

"The world looks mighty good to me..."
posted by trackofalljades at 7:50 PM on September 16, 2016

"From the Land of Sky Blue Waters,
From the land of pines, lofty balsams,
Comes the beer refreshing,
Hamm’s the beer refreshing."


Haaammmmms.
posted by BlueHorse at 7:58 PM on September 16, 2016 [5 favorites]

I pity the poor women who worked in bars during the years of Mabel, Black Label.
posted by she's not there at 8:26 PM on September 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Dublin, Berkeley, San Lorenzo, Cupertino, San Jose.
posted by mogget at 8:52 PM on September 16, 2016

Ah, yes. Jingles. My brain retains everything musical, even when I wish it wouldn't. This is why I can do things like recall the Nivea jingle word for word, but can't remember my own mother's birthday...
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:54 AM on September 17, 2016

I really do hope that younger demographics who tend to stream and DVR end the hell out of the jingle. I remember reading that Studies Show that even irritating jingles are good for business, so I thought it was one of the modern afflictions we were stuck with. But already I've lost my tolerance. When I visit my parents, who like a low level of TV in the background, I am struck afresh with hatred for RapidAdvance (🎶They didn't say no!🎶)
posted by Countess Elena at 6:49 AM on September 17, 2016

My girlfriend's grandfather wrote a jingle for the meat packing plant he worked for in southwestern Virginia. He and a friend spent a few evenings working out the tunes and the lyrics, and they pitched it to the company, who started using it in their TV and radio ads.

He and the friend never got any compensation for it, or really any formal recognition aside from a word of thanks from the company.

Anyway, it's pretty catchy.
posted by teponaztli at 2:04 PM on September 17, 2016

Go ahead and sing along with Rivers. We'll still be there for you.
posted by Fuzzypumper at 4:06 AM on September 18, 2016

Should I ever be in the market for a car in the Detroit area, I have been programmed from childhood to instinctively know I should seek out Mel Farr Superstar for a far better deal.

Well, not so much anymore - seems he went out of business in 2002 and passed away in 2015.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:28 AM on September 19, 2016

And I don't know which agency wrote jingles for Patrick Cudahy, but I've got two stuck in my brain after 35+ years: the old commercial for, um, Hamdingers, which were ground-up, pressed-together patties of pork remnants, apparently, but passed off as "the best 'ham'-burger you've ever had", in the jaunty tunes that just about every boy at my elementary school did a filthy rendition of, as only 2nd-to-5th graders can. They would motion exactly where their hamdingers were, you see, while they sang the ditty.

And then there was the other commercials for bacon or regular ham or breakfast sausage that always ended with some country-looking anthropomorphized, animated pigs singing with a banjo and guitar accompaniment that "::basso:: Patrick Cudahy is the home of sweet apple wood!::three-part harmony:: Sweet apple woooood!"

What can I say, it was the 70s, man. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. And "things went better with coke," I suspect, in many, many ad agencies in the country, including Milwaukee.
posted by droplet at 12:56 PM on September 19, 2016