That's some Hot Shit....

September 25, 2016 5:08 PM

Paqui Chips releases The Hottest Chip Ever at one chip per package.

They want youtube clips of people trying it.

disclaimer: I haven't had one yet, but when I get a hold of one, I'll post a video.

posted by jonmc (50 comments total)

At what point do we just start drinking straight capsaicin extract?
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:15 PM on September 25, 2016 [21 favorites]

I've known a few people who've owned bottles of pure capsaicin. I didn't have the balls to try it. sadly. Paqui's chips are tasty as hell, though, especially the Salsa Verde and Sour Cream flavor, so it should be interesting.
posted by jonmc at 5:17 PM on September 25, 2016

[firehose sold separately]
posted by clavdivs at 5:27 PM on September 25, 2016

“The reason that we’re selling this as one chip is because quite honestly, that’s all that you need,”

I expect Lay's to steal this idea within the next few years.
posted by FallowKing at 5:43 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

Why not just mace yourself?
posted by indubitable at 5:44 PM on September 25, 2016 [34 favorites]

“The reason that we’re selling this as one chip is because quite honestly, that’s all that you need,”

I expect Lay's to steal this idea within the next few years.

They don't need to steal this idea, they just need to continue doing what they do. I swear, with each successive bag of chips I purchase, there is more and more air and fewer and fewer chips. Basically this.
posted by Fizz at 5:47 PM on September 25, 2016 [12 favorites]

I'm a supertaster and basically anything that has any Scoville rating is too hot for me, so there is no way I would go near one of these, but it sure sounds like they're doing this gimmick right.
posted by aubilenon at 5:48 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

I like a good spicy meal as much as the next guy, but at some point, certain things cross the line between food and not food.
posted by 4ster at 6:04 PM on September 25, 2016 [14 favorites]

if it will clear my sinuses, count me in.
posted by roger ackroyd at 6:16 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

Good horseradish is my sinus clearer of choice. Proper strong horseradish causes memory loss, i.e. you take a big bite of it and yell WHY THE HELL DID I JUST DO THAAAAAAAAAAT and then you do it again.

I swim in the habanero Scoville range because that's where strong heat is still coupled with strong flavor. I'm not sure that the Reaper can say the same.
posted by delfin at 6:28 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

Also, it just hit me, this is the ultimate hot take.
posted by Fizz at 6:28 PM on September 25, 2016 [6 favorites]

Ok, I signed up to be notified when they are back in stock. In the meantime I see that my local Krogers carry them, so I'll check out some other varieties. Too bad they don't come in larger bags. (The non-reaper chips, that is.)
posted by TedW at 6:29 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

I bought a bottle of some sort of peach-flavored beer in a six pack I made up at the local craft-beer place, not realizing it was infused with Grim Reaper peppers. I made it through two sips and poured it down the drain, where it no doubt ate through the plumbing...
posted by AJaffe at 6:35 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

I could eat a hot chip over and over
posted by The Notorious SRD at 6:38 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

I got really confused for a second before realizing it had nothing to do with the semiconductor industry conference.
posted by fragmede at 6:40 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

I threw a single finely-chopped ghost pepper (along with three or four habaneros and a bunch of cayenne and chipotle etc.) in with about a pound of wings the other weekend, and we all certainly knew about it, but it didn't decimate us or anything. I used to be interested in super-hot things and tried a bunch of the Blair's sauces but near the top it just gets flavourless and unpleasant and gives me hiccups I can't get rid of without vomiting - and vomiting up a bellyful of hot sauce is probably the worst thing that can happen on this earth.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:52 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

So you're saying Hot Chip have a new album and it's fire? It's lit af?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:54 PM on September 25, 2016 [11 favorites]

I'm just pleased that after 17 years on MetaFilter this jonmc person has finally found a topic he feels comfortable with enough to post about.
posted by yhbc at 6:56 PM on September 25, 2016 [28 favorites]

Wow, that's a lot of packaging.
posted by xingcat at 6:58 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm also a supertaster and just no I'm sorry this is not food, this is an extreme sport. At the Thai restaurant yesterday at lunch the server (I think) mixed up my heat scale request (3) and my husband's (7) and I couldn't taste anything but burning. Not flavor, just ouch. I'm so not down with chilis that have been given names that imply they will actually kill you.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:25 PM on September 25, 2016

Is this a status signifier? Because I saw a punnet of kale chips fried in coconut oil, which is fine, but it was nine dollars. Certainly interesting and I'd try some in a restaurant, but not as a snack from the supermarket. And NO WAY at that price.

Single chip packaging. Coupled with the Bravado! Like the kale chips, which must cost about 50c each, it's for showing off. Jonmc who posted this promised us a video of them eating a chip. I need a promise that nuclear fire will shoot out of every orifice before 'eating a chip' baits my click.

If he goes on a Homer Simpson style insanity pepper spirit quest, I'll watch and that'd be super cool. Otherwise it's like someone hammering a nail into their nasal cavity. It's possible, but why?
posted by adept256 at 7:41 PM on September 25, 2016

I got really confused for a second before realizing it had nothing to do with the semiconductor industry conference.

So since you beat me to it, I guess the new challenge is to keep the conversation going for as long as possible such that nobody can tell.

The packaging is cute, but I'm not sure it's thin enough for today's mobile market. And it puts out so much heat, you're definitely gonna need a lot of water cooling.
posted by pwnguin at 7:45 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

The only hot chip I'm interested in is the HOT TASTY kind.
posted by zamboni at 7:49 PM on September 25, 2016

The Reapers allegedly actually have some flavor to them, not just pure heat. I can't wait to try one of these.
posted by Chuffy at 8:01 PM on September 25, 2016

Hot Ones is a great show on YouTube. Very entertaining, recommended for "hot heads" or people who like enjoyable interviews.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:04 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

I based about 10 years of my musical tastes and online persona on jonmc. Does this mean I'll need to start eating spicy food too?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:09 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

No. But you'll expand your palate nicely if you do.
posted by jonmc at 8:20 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

When did Kelly Ripa turn into Young Deborah Harry?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:25 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

in her Broad City episode
posted by roger ackroyd at 8:54 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

I want to try one, with a pint of my favorite ice cream next to me - currently, that is Ben and Jerry's Americone Dream.

I'm a bit of a hot head, and I had my own showdown yesterday at the Washington State Fair. I came across a jerky vendor, and I asked for a sample of the beef one. "We have regular, garlic, teriyaki, spicy, cajun, ghost, and reaper."
"I take it that these are designations of hot?"
"Yup. The hottest is 'reaper'."

By now, a crowd gathered, and a few guys had a look of excitement and intimidation. "Don't do it!" "You gonna get heartburn!" "That's gonna be really hot!" "That's gonna hurt!"

One would call it 'machismo', or 'stupidity', or 'suicide wish'. But, I love hot food. "I'll take a 'reaper', please."

I swore I heard a collective series of dicks suddenly get really, really small, as I took the sample and popped it in my mouth. It actually had a good, citrus flavor that creeped around the searing heat enveloping my mouth and throat. It stayed a pleasant burn for the next 15 minutes so, before it slowly faded away. I regret not getting any to munch on later.

(Wasn't actually the hottest thing I ate this week; that would be at a Mexican steakhouse. That little container of the beigish/peach salsa? Pure habanero. That stuff felt like 5628932 tiny papercuts on my tongue. Pure Heaven, that stuff. Made sure to nab some of that for home.)
posted by spinifex23 at 8:59 PM on September 25, 2016 [6 favorites]

I need a promise that nuclear fire will shoot out of every orifice before 'eating a chip' baits my click.

How about 'ominous melodramatic chanting and an onlooking god of death'?
posted by Rangi at 9:07 PM on September 25, 2016

A few days ago, I shared this with my cousin-in-law and we're so down for it. I'm just not feeling driving to a Mobil station in Western Massachusetts to buy one, because you can't buy them online or in Rhode Island.

On his honeymoon with my cousin, he did some Man v. Food thing that made him hallucinate. I can't think of anyone better that I'd like to torture myself with.
posted by Ruki at 10:30 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

I buy my groceries at places that buy odd lots and rarely have exactly what you want so you are forced to try new things and usually fared well when I was out of Tabasco until I made what, 22 years later, the people present for that dinner still refer to as the Gumbo From Hell.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 10:58 PM on September 25, 2016 [8 favorites]

At what point do we just start drinking straight capsaicin extract?

Why not just mace yourself?

There is a one word answer to both of those questions: marketing.
posted by fairmettle at 12:58 AM on September 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

I'm reminded of the time I went into this great little hole-in-the-wall liquor store in Soho that carries unusual and exotic brands from all over the world. That night, they were offering free samples of a chili-pepper-infused vodka, and I asked to try some.

They warned me it was really hot, and I said it was okay, thinking they meant, y'know, England hot. (I've been warned about how blazingly hot dishes are at restaurants by waiters only to have them arrive pleasantly spicy.) I drank the shot, and for ten seconds or so, all was right with the world.

Then, reader, it was as though a Smurf colony had built a bonfire in my gut. I managed to get off one Simpsons reference ("It tastes like burning!") before lurching back out into the Soho night.

A tiny part of my hindbrain wanted me to be copiously sick, but was overridden by the part that knew if that happened, I'd get to experience the same sensations all over again, but in reverse, and with the exciting possibility that it might decide to route through my sinuses on the way back out.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:31 AM on September 26, 2016 [5 favorites]

has anyone tried their ghost pepper chip? It's delicious. I crumble a few over rice with seaweed and sesame oil and it's a perfect snack. I hope hope hope I can find some of these solo reaper bags! It sounds like pure fun!
posted by artof.mulata at 4:32 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

“The reason that we’re selling this as one chip is because quite honestly, that’s all that you need,”

Quite honestly it's way more than I need. I need exactly none. Precisely zero.
posted by Splunge at 4:51 AM on September 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

At what point do we just start drinking straight capsaicin extract?

Why not just mace yourself?

There is a one word answer to both of those questions: marketing.

MaceX! A Tasty Weapon You Can Now Carry In Your Pocket!
Do you often find yourself both scared and hungry. Fear no more! With MaceX You Can Both Spray Your Attacker and Satisfy Your Hunger!
posted by Fizz at 5:16 AM on September 26, 2016

I swore I heard a collective series of dicks suddenly get really, really small

My eyes started rolling and I had to poke them with a habanero to make them stop. Aaaah, better.
posted by Omnomnom at 5:18 AM on September 26, 2016 [5 favorites]

So you're saying Hot Chip have a new album and it's fire?

My very first thought was "They should get Hot Chip to advertise this new ... hot chip."

Why not just mace yourself?

It's a floor wax weapon and a dessert topping!
posted by octobersurprise at 6:20 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Or - keep it in its bag, crush it to dust, bottle it, and sprinkle it lightly into chili or soup.
posted by BWA at 8:15 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

This kind of reminds me of the time in middle school I convinced myself and a couple of other kids that spraying Binaca in your eyes gives you a buzz. What it gave us was intense eye pain and headaches, but that was basically all that the more popular casual use drugs circulating in those days did, so it was an easy sell (anybody else remember the trend for using "rush" in the late eighties/early nineties; basically a record cleaner solvent middle and high school kids would sniff for a quick headache-triggering micro-buzz)...

tl;dr: Marketing's a hell of a drug.
posted by saulgoodman at 8:28 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Mr. Bad Example - spicy food I can do. There might be grumbling later, but I like it. Spicy liqour, however, is the devil's own drink. It doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't sit, period
posted by thecjm at 8:46 AM on September 26, 2016

(anybody else remember the trend for using "rush" in the late eighties/early nineties; basically a record cleaner solvent middle and high school kids would sniff for a quick headache-triggering micro-buzz)

The thing about rush/poppers/whateveryoucallalkylnitrites is that they work pretty well with some club drugs and with anal sex. So basically you were going wrong by not doing those things at the same time. Make sure your middle school children know the facts.
posted by howfar at 8:56 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

That's some Hot Shit....

ISWYDT.
posted by MikeKD at 1:07 PM on September 26, 2016

When I was in 5th or 6th grade they used to sell these things called "Hot Potato Wheels" at the school snack bar (late 80's, Las Vegas NV), and those things were great. Good flavor, melty texture like Quavers or cheese puffs, and guaranteed to send a pleasant (and by pleasant I mean excruciating) burn up into your ear canals. I loved those things but have never seen them anywhere since. I once turned up a single google result that was some kind of random "Does anyone else remember..." forum post from someone reminiscing. After decades of building up tolerance maybe they wouldn't be as good as I remember, but I'd kill to get my hands on a bag.

This, I will also try if it comes available near me. Their ghost pepper chips were all right.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 3:41 PM on September 26, 2016

In all seriousness, I don't get the super-hot-foods thing. I was being snarky at the top of the thread, but there was a point behind it; there is a maximum amount of heat that something can have—the heat of pure 100% capsaicin—and it's pretty trivial to produce it.

You can make a food item arbitrarily hot by just adding a metered amount of capsaicin extract, and when you breed these ultra-hot peppers it's not as if anyone will be able to taste their flavor anyway, so why not just go straight to the source? What more is achieved by painstakingly breeding a super-pepper and then using tiny amounts of it to make really hot food items? It just seems pointlessly macho.

I say this as a lover of spicy foods, as someone who will casually eat things that most of my dining companions consider inedible, as a person who will go out of his way to make food so spicy that tears roll down his cheeks and who will stand crying and laughing over the sink as he guzzles glasses of milk and who will then do it again a week later just because it's fun and it feels good.

I really don't get it.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:34 PM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

People actually trying this: https://www.facebook.com/TheSceneVideo/videos/1151343728266312/
posted by old_growler at 11:55 PM on September 26, 2016

Hal Mumkin, this is a shot in the dark, but could you mean Duros?
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:24 PM on September 27, 2016

I would try this chip.

This is what I have become.
posted by Songdog at 5:25 PM on September 27, 2016 [2 favorites]