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October 14, 2016 8:27 PM   Subscribe

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story – Final Trailer [YouTube] [Trailer] The final Rogue One trailer is now in range. You may watch it when ready. Rogue One tells the story of how a group of unlikely heroes unite to undertake a daring and seemingly impossible mission to steal the plans for the Death Star.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Super-Cut [YouTube] [All Trailers]
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Teaser Trailer [YouTube]
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Trailer #1 [YouTube]
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Celebration Reel [YouTube]
Star Wars Go Rogue: Chapter 1 [YouTube]
Star Wars Go Rogue: Chapter 2 [YouTube]
Star Wars Go Rogue: Chapter 3 [YouTube]
Star Wars Go Rogue: Chapter 4 [YouTube]
Kylo Ren Reacts to Final Rogue One Trailer [YouTube] [Auralnauts]
Star Wars: Rogue One [Poster] [Hi-Res Image]
posted by Fizz (102 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
ok but is james earl jones doing the vader voice or not
posted by poffin boffin at 8:36 PM on October 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


I mean, he can't not
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:38 PM on October 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


wiki says yes YAY
posted by poffin boffin at 8:38 PM on October 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


;____;
posted by moonlight on vermont at 8:41 PM on October 14, 2016


Hmmm, it certainly appears to have a different feel than the main line SW films.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:44 PM on October 14, 2016


Hmmm, it certainly appears to have a different feel than the main line SW films.

And I'm thrilled about this. I'm more excited about Rogue One than I was about Force Awakens. I think it's going to be amazing. No Skywalkers, get the fuck out of here with that?!!
posted by Fizz at 8:45 PM on October 14, 2016 [9 favorites]


pew pew laser swords guns

I am so excited
posted by quaking fajita at 8:46 PM on October 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


What's up with those Going Rogue videos? It's like Robot Chicken after a humorectomy.
posted by gottabefunky at 8:49 PM on October 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


I feel like the animated series are where someone finally got Star Wars right, meaning they captured the delicate blend of adventure and spiritual drama that was the original ideal of Star Wars, and the the first movie mostly captured, and of which every following movie has failed to capture. And others noticed this, and Rogue One is the result.
posted by fatbird at 8:51 PM on October 14, 2016 [6 favorites]


No Skywalker drama.
posted by effugas at 8:52 PM on October 14, 2016 [6 favorites]


fatbird --

Clone Wars, midway through Season 3. but YES.
posted by effugas at 8:52 PM on October 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


At least we can be reasonably confident that they won't be using snub fighters to destroy yet another death star at the end of this one.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 8:53 PM on October 14, 2016 [16 favorites]


This feels like the one where I introduce the kids to the concept of how The Wild Bunch ends.
posted by Artw at 9:02 PM on October 14, 2016 [10 favorites]


I could listen to Mads Mikkelsen read the phone book, so sold.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:09 PM on October 14, 2016 [14 favorites]


I've been living under a rock. Wasn't the plan to do 7, 8 and 9? What is this? Trailer looks great!
posted by WowLookStars at 9:13 PM on October 14, 2016


Entries in the Big Trilogy come every 2 years. In between those are "Star Wars Anthology" stories, separate from the latest saga, and also conveniently lighting up theaters with a new star wars film every single year.
posted by Joviwan at 9:18 PM on October 14, 2016 [4 favorites]


What is this?

This is Disney following Marvel's lead by by surrounding a main storyline series of movies with a wide variety of complimentary franchises.
posted by fatbird at 9:25 PM on October 14, 2016 [8 favorites]


This film looks dark in the same way Empire was dark compared to New Hope. No cute robots and not all those characters seem like they're going to survive. So yeah, this looks amazing.
posted by cazoo at 9:27 PM on October 14, 2016 [4 favorites]


December 16th? Happy birthday TO ME!
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:31 PM on October 14, 2016 [13 favorites]


I'm expecting the rebel infantry to hold up better than on Hoth. Those guys sure were in a hurry to bust ass out of the trench. C'mon guys. Ewoks stood firmer. Geez.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 9:31 PM on October 14, 2016


This is something that I will watch in the theater.
posted by clorox at 9:37 PM on October 14, 2016


but is there an Ant Man cameo
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:43 PM on October 14, 2016 [7 favorites]


What is this?

It's one or more Star Wars movies a year, every year, until you are dead.
posted by sideshow at 9:49 PM on October 14, 2016 [55 favorites]


Forest Whitaker's character is so not making it out of this one.
posted by praemunire at 9:58 PM on October 14, 2016 [9 favorites]


It's too happy-heroic. The earlier trailers made clear everyone was a bad-ass, and as likely to work for the Empire as against it, including the "heroine."

This preview made me give up those romantic notions, and become more incredibly bored for a Star Wars movie since Attack of the Clones.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:13 PM on October 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


Look I know Hollywood has a diversity problem but are you really going to tell me they couldn't cast a single Bothan-American actor?
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:23 PM on October 14, 2016 [10 favorites]


I'm expecting the rebel infantry to hold up better than on Hoth. Those guys sure were in a hurry to bust ass out of the trench. C'mon guys. Ewoks stood firmer. Geez.

First reaction I saw from an Army officer online was, "Yay! Now we get to nerd-critique the Empire's approach to amphibious warfare!"
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:38 PM on October 14, 2016 [9 favorites]


Spoiler alert, they get the plans for the Death Star.
posted by boilermonster at 10:40 PM on October 14, 2016 [14 favorites]


I am disappointed now that I know more of the story premise that we have another Star Wars movie about daddy issues.
posted by threecheesetrees at 10:42 PM on October 14, 2016 [7 favorites]


I'm pretty sure Riz is going out in a blaze of glory about 20 seconds after that last shot of him.
posted by Artw at 10:45 PM on October 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


Only tangentially related: a long-distance friend of mine who just finished up law school a year or two ago said he got a gift from a client yesterday as a thanks for helping him through a painful divorce. The client apparently works as a costumer. He sent a full set of Stormtrooper armor. Totally fits.

For the first time in my adult life, I found myself asking damn it why didn't I go to law school???
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:49 PM on October 14, 2016 [29 favorites]


but is there an Ant Man cameo

The nice thing about Ant-Man is that if you choose to believe it he can cameo in any movie! I think he was jumping around in that big ol' computer in The Imitation Game.
posted by jason_steakums at 11:36 PM on October 14, 2016 [7 favorites]


The first cut came out so poorly, that they had spend the summer reshooting 40% of the movie. I'm following the advice of Disney CEO Bob Iger, and keeping my expectations low for the success of Rogue One.
posted by fairmettle at 11:46 PM on October 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


For the first time in my adult life, I found myself asking damn it why didn't I go to law school???

You just need a Wookie friend and a hapless Stormtrooper who's about your size.

Spoiler alert, they get the plans for the Death Star.

It's inevitable! Death Stars are a sporing body for Midi-chlorians, which preferentially infect spacefaring hosts with large shipworks and engineering resources. Subclinical infection appears benign, but as there's a critical density of infected hosts, the Midi-chlorians induce their hapless victims to build a Death Star.
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:00 AM on October 15, 2016 [7 favorites]


Ben Mendelsohn is really looking like a younger Ian McKellen in this one. Bring on December!
posted by h00py at 2:57 AM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


It gives me absolute pleasure to translate the whiny complaints of dudes on the Internet as "but we don't want stories with women as heroes and people of colour as main characters!" Whereas I'm pleased that the new movies of one of the most famous franchises in the world has made more progress in terms of diversity than the originals.
posted by Kitteh at 3:36 AM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Gareth Edwards at the helm on this one...I liked Monsters pretty well, and it's all the more impressive considering it was one of those zero-budget indie films shot on a DSLR Canon (with a lot of CGI added later which was the actual budget). I had high hopes for his take on Godzilla, and it wasn't bad, really, but it was...forgettable, let's say. I cared not one whit for the characters in that film, maybe with the exception of Godzilla.

So, yeah. Edwards seems to have a flair for cinematography, so this movie will probably look fine. But as for its re-watch factor, I have my doubts. Of course, all of my speculation on its merits is moot, it'll make a bazillion dollars no matter what.
posted by zardoz at 3:55 AM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


I am disappointed now that I know more of the story premise that we have another Star Wars movie about daddy issues.

But the daddy is played by Mads Mikkelsen.
posted by Mavri at 4:11 AM on October 15, 2016 [11 favorites]


I am disappointed now that I know more of the story premise that we have another Star Wars movie about daddy issues.

Yeah... is this another orphan? Luke is an orphan. So is Rei. So is Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Finn the human, Harry Potter, Frodo and Moses. And me! My superpower is eating whatever the hell I want and never gaining weight.

I accept the warning on tvtropes, not even once, you can get lost in there. But surely this back-story tool has an entry on there. It's archetypical, and it doesn't quite line up with my lived experience.

Edit: sorry! I forgot Hamilton. Listened to the whole thing this evening. How could I miss him.
posted by adept256 at 5:18 AM on October 15, 2016


Let the Hannibal-Rogue One fanfic commence...

Seriously, the thing I like most about this trailer is that the characters look like they actually live in the worlds they're moving through, and the worlds in turn look lived-in. The sense of menace as the star destroyer hangs over the neighborhood and the chicken walkers bash their way through streets full of fleeing people is palpable. These people have ordinary lives which the Empire is fucking over just because hey we're the Empire and we can.

This is something the original SW did reasonably well; they managed to make Luke's return to Owen's homestead gut-wrenching as it should have been. But this part of it Imperial life got weaker and weaker through the other two original movies and was virtually nonexistent in the prequels.
posted by Bringer Tom at 5:28 AM on October 15, 2016 [7 favorites]


Meanwhile I get to sit here and feel pretty rich that I get to take the little girl in my life to ANOTHER movie where the girl kicks ass, flies the ships, tells people what to do, gets dirty and saves the day. So far in terns of grownup movies (she's still a kid) it's this, Force Awakens and the new Ghostbusters. I've also gotten her into the Rebels series with its TWO heroic bad ass female leads.

With all this I figured she'd want to be Rey for Halloween. Nope! Darth Vader.

I'm so psyched for this movie.
posted by nevercalm at 5:41 AM on October 15, 2016 [6 favorites]


I am so glad they're finally doing a prequel to Star Wars. (Has anyone used that joke here yet?)
posted by GhostintheMachine at 5:58 AM on October 15, 2016 [6 favorites]


Of course not. There haven't been any prequels, right?
right?
posted by adept256 at 6:01 AM on October 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


fairmettle: "The first cut came out so poorly, that they had spend the summer reshooting 40% of the movie. I'm following the advice of Disney CEO Bob Iger, and keeping my expectations low for the success of Rogue One."

Why Movie Reshoots Aren’t Necessarily a Bad Sign
posted by octothorpe at 6:33 AM on October 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


Meanwhile I get to sit here and feel pretty rich that I get to take the little girl in my life to ANOTHER movie where the girl kicks ass, flies the ships, tells people what to do, gets dirty and saves the day. So far in terns of grownup movies (she's still a kid) it's this, Force Awakens and the new Ghostbusters. I've also gotten her into the Rebels series with its TWO heroic bad ass female leads.

All I know about this movie is from watching the trailer and reading these comments. But I really liked how matter-of-fact it was about who the hero was, rather than being all pink-princess-power. I like how at least some media are beginning to normalize this; it certainly wasn't the case when I was a kid.

This film looks a lot more interesting to me than the last one did, which I skipped based on the cheesiness of the trailer and from the lasting memories of attempting to watch those horrible prequels. This isn't high art in any way, but it looks well done and like it would be fun to see at a matinee.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:36 AM on October 15, 2016


Eh. I'll wait until the reviews come out.

I've been taken in before.
posted by kyrademon at 6:41 AM on October 15, 2016


I am all in! It looks great and I need something to look forward to, some hope. It has been a bleak fall.
posted by Alluring Mouthbreather at 6:56 AM on October 15, 2016


Wow, lots of negative in this thread. I think it looks really cool, and will be interesting to see a Star Wars movie that isn't about Jedi.

I'd like to see Vader stalking down our heroes at the climax, and they don't all make it. It would show the sacrifice made by the Rebels, and establish exactly why Vader is so feared.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:18 AM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


There was a half second shot in the middle that had what looked to me like a Jeddi fossil.
posted by sammyo at 7:41 AM on October 15, 2016


It's not like I'm not going to see a Star Wars film in the theater so advertising is sort of pointless to me and I assume a lot of folks. I mean it's Star Wars, I saw the Phantom Menace four times in the theater and it was the fucking Phantom Menace.
posted by octothorpe at 7:48 AM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's too happy-heroic. The earlier trailers made clear everyone was a bad-ass, and as likely to work for the Empire as against it, including the "heroine."

This preview made me give up those romantic notions, and become more incredibly bored for a Star Wars movie since Attack of the Clones.


This is a movie about members of the Rebellion sacrificing their lives in order not even to destroy the Big Bad Danger Thing but merely to enable the possible destruction of the Big Bad Danger Thing. The heroes might be grittier than Luke and Leia, but they're still going to be heroes. I mean for crissake it's the Empire they're fighting. The characters in The Dirty Dozen might have been criminals and lowlifes, but they still mostly knew that the Nazis were the bad guys and they were fighting on the right side. That doesn't change just because the Nazis are now Space Nazis.
posted by mightygodking at 7:48 AM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's one or more Star Wars movies a year, every year, until you are dead.

this is fine
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:03 AM on October 15, 2016 [26 favorites]


I disagree mightygodking, we haven't seen much of what life was like under the new Republic, except that they are crap at stopping a new Empire type organisation emerging. We did see that the set up before the Empire was also incompetent, respected rights to own people, encouraged child soldiers and that their was a sort of feudal system of superior persons who are given incredible rights of governance over the wider society including acting as trade negotiators, secret police and senior military personnel, brainwashing the 'weak minded' and with the power to maim and execute people on the spot. They are also quite incompetent when it comes to both strategy and tactics.

We see the dirty dozen through our own perception of the Nazis as super baddies, as well as their own perception that this is the case. Our assessment of the comparative badness of the Empire comes purely through our taking on Episodes 4-6 as gospel and a rendering as one side as good and another as bad; the wider narrative does not support this and we lack the same experience of the Empire we have with our overwhelming cultural perception of the Nazis from many other sources. Our desire to continue to see the rebels as 'good' prevents the information apparent in the prequels from becoming knowledge.
posted by biffa at 8:12 AM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


But this part of it Imperial life got weaker and weaker through the other two original movies and was virtually nonexistent in the prequels.

Well, there was no Empire in the prequels, so it's not surprising that there are no depictions of Imperial life.
posted by hippybear at 8:27 AM on October 15, 2016


Look I know Hollywood has a diversity problem but are you really going to tell me they couldn't cast a single Bothan-American actor?

Wrong Death Star.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:55 AM on October 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


Yeah... is this another orphan? Luke is an orphan. So is Rei. So is Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Finn the human, Harry Potter, Frodo and Moses. And me! My superpower is eating whatever the hell I want and never gaining weight.

Blaming the early morning fogginess on myself, I read this after seeing the comment about Edwards' Godzilla movie and was about to launch into a comment about how stoked I was for the new Godzilla that's directed by Hideaki Anno because of how it looks like Neon Genesis Evangelion but then remembered this is a Star Wars thread and that would've been such a weird derail.
posted by gucci mane at 8:58 AM on October 15, 2016


Look I know Hollywood has a diversity problem but are you really going to tell me they couldn't cast a single Bothan-American actor?

Wrong death star. This is about the rebel spies mentioned in the New Hope opening crawl, not the Bothans mentioned in Return of the Jedi.
posted by effbot at 9:00 AM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well sure, but maybe this time many Bothans survived.
posted by RobotHero at 9:01 AM on October 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


omg the Godzilla thread is under this -____-
posted by gucci mane at 9:32 AM on October 15, 2016


the "we're rebels, we have hope" St Crispins day speech in the trailer looks way bad, like every other Hollywood St. Crispin's day speech.

I mean come on, they went through a string of writers and reshot 40% of the movie to "lighten the tone" and introduce baby Han Solo. Just because Lucas is gone doesn't mean you shouldnt fear the dark side...
posted by ennui.bz at 9:45 AM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


So if I'm not mistaken, Rogue One was originally sold as a fun little heist movie. Which sounded great!

But this trailer with its soaring soundtrack looks like another bombastic Star Wars movie where everyone speaks solemnly about good vs. evil. I'm kind of dissapointed.

How much you want to bet there's a scene when Mads Mikkelsen says to his daughter "I have done evil things... Let me die." And she'll be like "No father, you are still good. Come with me."
posted by mcmile at 9:49 AM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


I did not expect this to turn out to be A Royal Affair In Space.
posted by ethansr at 9:51 AM on October 15, 2016


Just thinking about this, but wouldn't the Bothan story be the more interesting one? Hear me out...

The Empire didn't know the first Death Star had a fatal flaw. Sure, they were willing to violate diplomatic niceties by kidnapping an ambassador to get them back, but had they known of the flaw they surely would have made some renovations once the rebels had a copy of the plans. By the time they built the second Death Star, they knew what could happen if the plans got out. They would have much tighter security on them, and it would have been a much bigger task. But the first Death Star? I can't see them protecting them as much. They WANTED to intimidate with that thing, and having the sheer scope of it known wouldn't have been too bad.

Here's where it gets extra interesting. We know from RotJ that the Emperor set up the second Death Star as a trap. He would therefore need the Rebels to steal the plans, but he couldn't leave them lying around like the first time. They would need extra protection, otherwise the Rebels would know they were being played. There would even have to be two sets of plans - the believable fakes to be stolen that didn't reveal it was fully functional while incomplete, and the real ones that needed to be protected at all costs to hide the trap. So the Emperor would need to pull out nearly all the stops to almost prevent the Bothans from securing the wrong plans while hiding the fact he's got a few stops in reserve to prevent the right plans from even be known about.

But none of this is made explicit until the end, when the heroes have sacrificed themselves to make sure the plans get into Rebel hands, thinking they've given their lives to ensure the Emperor is defeated... just to have him chuckle and let them know they lost their lives fulfilling his plan.

Still plan on seeing Rogue One and enjoying it tremendously, of course.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 10:22 AM on October 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


Everyone does love riffing off the "many Bothans" quote from Jedi. But the more relevant quote for this movie is when Darth Vader says, "There will be no one to stop us, this time."
posted by RobotHero at 10:28 AM on October 15, 2016 [8 favorites]


Here's where it gets extra interesting. We know from RotJ that the Emperor set up the second Death Star as a trap.

when they say, "that's no moon" it's a clear reference to the faked moon landings. that's right, there is no "second death star" it was all filmed on a sound stage in Hollywood...
posted by ennui.bz at 10:30 AM on October 15, 2016


Wrong Death Star.

You folks handled this with grace, but there are many corners of the Internet that are less forgiving. And there is a not-small part of me that hopes they write in some Bothan deaths just to see the rage of TrueFans(TM) that would follow.
posted by solotoro at 10:33 AM on October 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


I've heard so many different versions of this movie since it was first proposed. A fun little heist movie, as mentioned above. Also a sort of homage to WWII movies like Bridge Over The River Kwai or whatnot... the behind the lines team working together, etc. Also a very dark and gritty spy mission story. Apparently now also it is some sort of child-becoming-adult redemption drama.

I'll go see it, but at this point I don't know what I will be seeing.
posted by hippybear at 10:36 AM on October 15, 2016


I think you all are missing the larger point here, and that point is Donnie Yen is in a Star Wars movie.
posted by Coda at 11:01 AM on October 15, 2016 [12 favorites]


Shitload of Donnie Yen on Netflix right now, for anyone who is curious.

(Dragon is a fave of mine for its Kung Fu detective who reconstructs fight scenes in a Will Graham style)
posted by Artw at 11:11 AM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Everyone does love riffing off the "many Bothans" quote from Jedi.

Yeah, they are going to have to wait for Rogue Two, which will be set between ESB and ROTJ (or maybe simultaneous with the first act of ROTJ, where the main heroes are off rescuing Han). Anyways, that will cover the efforts to get the plans for Death Star II, and the lead character is Mani Bothans (not "Many Bothans"), as yet uncast, though they are talking about Sean Bean.
posted by nubs at 11:50 AM on October 15, 2016 [17 favorites]


I was just at the store and they had the Ip Man trilogy on blu-ray for $19.99. Into my cart it went!
posted by mogget at 11:51 AM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well, there was no Empire in the prequels, so it's not surprising that there are no depictions of Imperial life.

This is true, but the nascent seeds of empire were there, and many lesser evils. Anakin leaving his mother to die in slavery should have been heart wrenching... but in the theatre, not so much. The scope of the clone army production operation should have been unnerving... but in the theatre, not so much. The scene of Luke and Leia's birth as their mother named them and died should have been compelling, but... And of course Anakin's final NOOOOOOO!!!!!! is more comical than anything. (Along with, alright Force and all that but have any of the nimrods who choreographed that battle on the floating lava jetsam ever been anywhere near even a tiny bit of molten rock before?)
posted by Bringer Tom at 12:24 PM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


have any of the nimrods who choreographed that battle on the floating lava jetsam ever been anywhere near even a tiny bit of molten rock before?

I've heard on good authority that the nimrod who did that big battle between Anakin and Obi Wan was Stephen Spielberg. I cannot speak to his actual close-volcanic personal experience.
posted by hippybear at 12:27 PM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


that the nimrod who did that big battle between Anakin and Obi Wan was Stephen Spielberg

Am I supposed to be impressed? The lava rapids battle was for me a far stupider deal-killer than whatever magic mumbo-jumbo thing Starkiller Base was supposed to be doing in ANH, because who knows how the fake physics in 50 mile across Star Wars Galaxy works, but lava is a real thing. And if you were in a magically non-melty boat in the middle of a lava river, being cut down by some other guy on another magically non-melty boat would be the least of your worries because you would be breathing thousand degree hot air and baking in the infrared radiation from the lava. A crucible of the stuff the size of a Thermos bottle is dangerous and stays that way for hours.

I assume Spielberg has sufficient funds to snag a ticket to Hawai'i in case he didn't know this. It was really one of the stupidest things in all seven movies, and that's a pretty high bar to clear.
posted by Bringer Tom at 1:12 PM on October 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


Clearly this is a very important opinion.
posted by Artw at 1:24 PM on October 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


There are things in SF and fantasy that simply don't exist in our world, so the world-builders get to pretty much make up the rules; as long as their rules are consistent and they stick to them, there's no reason for complaint. Blasters, lightsabers, FTL travel, death stars -- none of that is real so it can be whatever the story needs it to be.

But there are things that do exist for us, which are part of our universal experience. Food good and bad, poison, fashion practical and showy, anxiety, love, romance, childbirth, death -- these things have to ring true because we experience them for ourselves, in real life. And lava is a real thing. Anybody can go to Hawai'i or Japan or Iceland and feel the heat of the Earth, and anybody who has ever done that will instantly recognize the stupidity of the lava fight in RotS. Yes, there is the Force but we have seen the kind of things the Force can do, and keeping you alive in that kind of environment for more than ten seconds is not one of those things. The Force can't keep you alive in a vacuum or let you re-enter the atmosphere from orbit without a ship; it has limits. And the scale of what we see the Force doing in use is considerably below the level of staying alive on a lake of molten rock.

Anyway, it may not be an important opinion but it's part of a pattern of groan-inducing WTF moments that have stained every movie in this franchise, including TFA, except only the original Star Wars and maybe ESB. If Rogue One manages to pass without a similar groan inducing WTF it will be one of the best SW movies ever.
posted by Bringer Tom at 1:46 PM on October 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


I just like hearing many different people say POW-AH!
posted by gottabefunky at 1:54 PM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Given Star Wars technology, you probably could re-enter an atmosphere without a ship, you would just need to be in a ship that temporarily slowed its orbital velocity to zero, jump out, and free-fall into the atmosphere with a space suit (Baumgartner, etc). It's re-entering at orbital velocity with the friction/heat of the air that would kill you.

[comicbookguy]
In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is a magic xylophone, or something? Ha ha, boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder. [/comicbookguy]
posted by thewalrus at 1:59 PM on October 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


Anyway, it may not be an important opinion but it's part of a pattern of groan-inducing WTF moments that have stained every movie in this franchise, including TFA, except only the original Star Wars and maybe ESB.

I've said it before, and I know I'll say it again: Star Wars works the best when the speed of the action carries you over the plot holes and the heart outshines the hokey. The prequels not only failed to achieve the necessary speed of action, they seemed to deliberately slow down to show you the plot holes. And they utterly failed on the heart.

Beyond the WTF moment of the physical effects of being near lava not being accurate, for me the disappointment in that final duel was that it had no emotional resonance at all. It should have; but the films had utterly failed to give us any sense of friendship between Obi-Wan and Anakin, and so it is just another SFX sequence that is overly long.
posted by nubs at 2:07 PM on October 15, 2016 [7 favorites]


Who'd they cast as Manny Bothans?
posted by Groundhog Week at 2:39 PM on October 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


> like a Jeddi fossil. sammyo

I took it as a giant toppled Jedi statue. But that'd have to be one giant assed toppled Jedi statue (they're flying above it and their air vehicle is just a speck... right?)
posted by porpoise at 2:40 PM on October 15, 2016


I took it as a giant toppled Jedi statue.

From reading elsewhere, it appears that is the planet Jedha, a place that has been described as a holy planet for Force users.
posted by nubs at 3:09 PM on October 15, 2016


Who'd they cast as Manny Bothans?

Sigh.
posted by nubs at 3:10 PM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Jedha"? grumble grumble That should be Tython, you philistines. The KOTORs and SWTOR may no longer be canon, but must you re-invent even the smallest scrap of background? That's a lot of babies thrown out with the bathwater.

exits to roll a new Jedi Consular
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 3:58 PM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think Kylo Ren's response video is pretty on the nose: the most important people to the empire should have been a team of welders putting a plate over these access ports to these seemingly totally unstable reactor cores. Badasses or not, these guys should have found the plans and just realized that the damn thing was impenetrable, but no - not enough welders apparently.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:02 PM on October 15, 2016


Manny Bothans is dead you heartless monster.
posted by Artw at 5:11 PM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


the Midi-chlorians induce their hapless victims to build a Death Star.

Also to get cats and have kitty litter and parasites.
posted by Kabanos at 5:47 PM on October 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


My problem with the lava duel, much like nubs said, is not the fact that convection heating doesn't seem to be a thing in the Star Wars universe so much as that fight scene has near zero emotional stakes. Look at the climactic fight between Luke and Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi, for instance. That scene's doing a lot: it's illustrating how far Luke's come as a Jedi, dramatizing his struggle with not falling to the dark side, and showing us Luke realizing how much he's like his father and ultimately rejecting the dark side.

The lava duel, though, is two characters standing on a green screen set waving light sabers at each other for ten minutes. Obi-Wan yelling "YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!" out of nowhere doesn't count as character development.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 6:12 PM on October 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


Obligatory: Obi-Wan Remembers The Truth
posted by Artw at 6:58 PM on October 15, 2016


Hmmm, the heroine's dad built the death star? Maybe those exhaust ports were designed to be a weakness.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:53 PM on October 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


honestly when it comes to the prequels' dialogue, not having any in the Ani vs Obi duel is a feature not a bug... i mean, did you really want another 45 minutes of dialogue like "from my point of view, the Jedi are evil" and "only the Sith deal in absolutes?"

In regards to Rogue One, this looks grand and I will be there opening night.
posted by entropicamericana at 12:57 PM on October 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hmmm, the heroine's dad built the death star? Maybe those exhaust ports were designed to be a weakness.

I've just recently heard this theory elsewhere, too, and it makes some sense. Granted, the fact that the plans are needed reveals that fact that Galen Erso (the designer) may not be long for this world if he's not around to just tell the rebels where to find the exhaust ports.
posted by Atreides at 12:57 PM on October 16, 2016


It's Mads Mikkelsen, he's no Sean Bean but he doesn't make it to the end credits quite often.
posted by biffa at 3:24 PM on October 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


A derangement of the exhaust ducts...
posted by Artw at 4:50 PM on October 16, 2016


Or maybe a friggin' battlestation the size of a moon has major, major heat dissipation problems. Maybe getting away with a single 2 meter wide exhaust port was already a miraculous feat of engineering that required putting the laws of physics in a chokehold and telling them to shut up. Maybe the problem is that a giant spherical space laser death ray is at heart a fantastically stupid and unworkable idea for any number of reasons. But it was getting built. Because do you want to be the one to tell a crazy man who shoots lightning from his fingers that his idea is dumb?
posted by Zalzidrax at 12:01 PM on October 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have a moon with a frickin' death laser attached! Now, evidently, my dyspneatic friend tells me it can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Come on, honestly, throw me a frickin' bone here!
posted by nubs at 12:07 PM on October 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


Or maybe a friggin' battlestation the size of a moon has major, major heat dissipation problems.

If you have a better design, then submit a bid!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:09 PM on October 17, 2016


Disc World Station
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:57 PM on October 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


That's no Frisbee - it's a battle station!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:58 PM on October 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


Regardless of how things go down in November, I'm gonna need this.
posted by Golem XIV at 8:30 PM on October 17, 2016


Disc World Station

AT-ATs all the way down.
posted by Fleebnork at 6:12 AM on October 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


If you have a better design, then submit a bid!

Yeah, hi. I'm from Giant Death Weapon Manufacturing, and we've got a new idea to share.

So here's the proposal. Instead of building a base that needs giant reactors - which need ventilation shafts - you build something solar powered. As in, it sucks the energy it needs to power the super-weapon out of a sun. All the energy. Of a sun.

The problem here is one of storage, mostly - you don't need to vent anything, but you do need some kind of thermal oscillator to manage containment of the energy while you're sucking it out and priming the weapon. But you can protect that inside a fortified base, and have some shields up to prevent attacks by things like spaceships or snub fighters or the like. You could even build all this inside like, a planet, or something.

Remember, our motto at Giant Death Weapon Manufacturing is "go big, go bigger, go colossal big!". Thanks for your time.
posted by nubs at 9:38 AM on October 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


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