That's not very mature

November 21, 2016 10:50 AM

The Fondoodler is a "hot glue gun for cheese"

This little piece of unitasking magic might be used to make a chip-by-chip nacho bar or an edible cheesy tortilla bowl. Since the product is licensed by Buzzfeed, Tasty even got into the ideas game with a recipe for fondoodler-filled jalapeno poppers.

Previously on mefi: a cheese ball machine gun

posted by R a c h e l (76 comments total)

Shut up and take my money.
posted by sexyrobot at 10:51 AM on November 21, 2016 [12 favorites]

From the makers of The Cornballer, comes...
posted by bondcliff at 10:54 AM on November 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

Damnit. I would buy this. Especially if I was in line at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, had an extra coupon, and the video was playing on one of those little displays.
posted by jenjenc at 10:57 AM on November 21, 2016 [11 favorites]

I love everything about this.
posted by quaking fajita at 10:58 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

i was down until i saw them roll up a slice of that individual slice packaged cheese and now i'm angry. why weren't string cheeses good enough for you, cheese gun person.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:58 AM on November 21, 2016 [9 favorites]

why did you fly your cheese wings so close to the sun
posted by poffin boffin at 10:59 AM on November 21, 2016 [62 favorites]

Mmmmm plastic cheese.
posted by quaking fajita at 11:00 AM on November 21, 2016

Pretty sure this is how Chester Cheetah died. They found him in an alley with a bunch of burn marks on his arms and a far away smile on his slack face.

Later at his wake, everyone agreed that he was the best seven layer dip ever made.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:02 AM on November 21, 2016 [17 favorites]

No "Pepsi Bleu Cheese"? I'm surprised at you, Metafilter.
posted by giraffe at 11:03 AM on November 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

quaking fajita: "I love everything about this."

Eponysterical.
posted by chavenet at 11:04 AM on November 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

I am a fan of this gimmick.
posted by aniola at 11:04 AM on November 21, 2016

also that lady didn't wear gloves to handle the jalapeno and i'm sad she had to learn that terrible lesson
posted by poffin boffin at 11:04 AM on November 21, 2016 [15 favorites]

I just realized that one the fondoodler website (where you can buy a piece of this gloriousness and don't think that I am not 100% considering it) they have photos of someone building a cheesy house out of crackers, the same way you would with graham crackers in imitation of a gingerbread house. I await the pimiento cheese decorations.
posted by quaking fajita at 11:06 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

A whole page of FAQs, and no mention of whether it also works for chocolate.

Chocolate fondoo is the best fondoo
posted by Mchelly at 11:06 AM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Via Elon Musk? [fake]
posted by chavenet at 11:06 AM on November 21, 2016

how hot does the cheese from this wondrous apparatus get?

like if an unfortunate soul would accidentally and maybe repeatably drops cheese on their genitals, perhaps whilst changing pants and underwear, would it cause any pain?

is it possible to make the cheese REALLY warm? you know for those cold winter nights
posted by Foci for Analysis at 11:07 AM on November 21, 2016 [13 favorites]

This seems like the type of kitchen appliance (is that even the right word?) that is destined to be used once or twice and then put away, like the quesadilla maker we bought.
posted by tommasz at 11:08 AM on November 21, 2016

This is neat.

But, it's just close enough to leave us with the taste of 3D printed cheese, but without actually delivering 3D printed cheese, that it feels incomplete.
posted by eotvos at 11:09 AM on November 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

I like how Foci For Analysis doesn't even go the "asking for a friend" route. Well played!
posted by hippybear at 11:10 AM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Foci for Analysis: how hot does the cheese from this wondrous artifact get?

This is important, because the first thing I want to do with it is just stick the business end in my mouth and consume the gooey cheese goo directly, free from any starchy conveyance mechanisms.
posted by SansPoint at 11:11 AM on November 21, 2016

but without actually delivering 3D printed cheese

Imagine what truly imaginative users of a Star Trek replicator could achieve as far as food architecture is concerned! I won't even supply examples, because your brain is already running rampant with this idea!
posted by hippybear at 11:11 AM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Who will give me $500 for this sabotage?
posted by stevis23 at 11:14 AM on November 21, 2016

Technology has reached its apex. There is nothing more worth inventing. Human destiny has been fulfilled. Let the waters rise and wash us away.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:15 AM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Hey if you're my secret quonsar just ignore everything else I wrote on my list. Kiddingnotkidding.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:25 AM on November 21, 2016 [8 favorites]

They don't ship internationally. Which is probably fortunate, given my instinctive response to this was to throw money at the screen.
posted by parm at 11:25 AM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]

sweet jesus.

no, wait. sweet cheese-us.
posted by palomar at 11:28 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is important, because the first thing I want to do with it is just stick the business end in my mouth and consume the gooey cheese goo directly, free from any starchy conveyance mechanisms.

au yis pleas explanicate mor 🔥🧀
posted by Foci for Analysis at 11:29 AM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Blessed are the cheese gun makers.
posted by Kabanos at 11:31 AM on November 21, 2016 [5 favorites]

In the video I thought he was going to build a literal nacho bar by gluing the chips together. Que(so) lastima.

Also, I have, like, eight glue guns so there goes my Monday night.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:33 AM on November 21, 2016

They don't ship internationally. Which is probably fortunate …"

I'm faced with this hurdle too. Although I now see that you can buy empty caulking tubes on amazon, so there may be an emergency room visit in my future yet.
posted by Kabanos at 11:42 AM on November 21, 2016

This is important, because the first thing I want to do with it is just stick the business end in my mouth and consume the gooey cheese goo directly

Mouth, hell. Hook it to my veins.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:44 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Time to bust out the apple corer and some brie.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:47 AM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]

This is relevant to my interests.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 11:49 AM on November 21, 2016

i've been arguing with myself over whether or not this would count as an artistic achievement for the human race as a whole and i have come to the conclusion that this is a device that leonardo da vinci himself would have praised so therefore all other considerations aside it irrefutably has merit
posted by poffin boffin at 11:51 AM on November 21, 2016 [5 favorites]

Fondoodler = can of squirt cheese - warmth + (expense x 5) + no need to clean device afterwards. You do the math.

I'm not impressed.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:59 AM on November 21, 2016

MetaFilter: I'm not impressed.
posted by hippybear at 12:01 PM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]

It took only 20 seconds to order that.
posted by slogger at 12:01 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Fondoodler = can of squirt cheese - warmth + (expense x 5) + no need to clean device afterwards. You do the math.

I'm not impressed.

This is the cheese dispensing equivalent of the famous "less space than a Nomad. Lame." comment.

Personal hot cheese dispensers are the future. Embrace the melty goodness.
posted by bondcliff at 12:05 PM on November 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

unlike cans of squeez cheez, the device creates no waste.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:07 PM on November 21, 2016

Not the melted cheese we want, but the melted-cheese we deserve.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:09 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

That's a point, poffin boffin, and it does tip the equation slightly.
posted by dlugoczaj at 12:12 PM on November 21, 2016

also since when does buzzfeed license weird products?
posted by poffin boffin at 12:13 PM on November 21, 2016

Their demo video shows that it takes string cheese as close to a keurig style cartridge system we could dream of. I want 10.
posted by msbutah at 12:15 PM on November 21, 2016

Did anyone else think that "H - E - L" was going for Help me?
posted by Hypatia at 12:18 PM on November 21, 2016 [19 favorites]

What a friend we have in cheeses!
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 12:19 PM on November 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

I just ordered one.

In totally unrelated news, I am pretty sure that when my 7-year-old son opens ONE SPECIFIC CHEESY PRESENT this Xmas, my wife will give me the dead-eyed stare and file for divorce.

(I plan to package it with the label "from the cats", which I try to do every year with at least one insanely stupid gift that I am sure the wife would disapprove of)
posted by caution live frogs at 12:20 PM on November 21, 2016 [43 favorites]

cats always gift irresponsibly
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 12:26 PM on November 21, 2016 [24 favorites]

I am NOT okay with how porny the soundtrack is for the tortilla bowl demo.
posted by supercres at 12:32 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

The only thing stopping this from being under our family Christmas tree this year is the lack of international shipping.
posted by fimbulvetr at 12:40 PM on November 21, 2016

Yes, Hypatia. I thought exactly that.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 12:43 PM on November 21, 2016

This is the equivalent device for chocolate. Here's a helpful video of it in action.
posted by phunniemee at 12:46 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Two Words:
Bespoke Combos
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:54 PM on November 21, 2016 [13 favorites]

you guys if you don't have money here's a French hack: take knife, heat knife. Cut cheese with hot knife. Eat melting cheese off hot knife. (carefully)

Also, here is the recipe for raclette:
- raclette cheese
- potatoes
- cured meats of your choosing
Boil potatoes till tender but not mushy. Put slices of cured meat over quartered potatoes. Melt raclette slices over meaty potatoes. Eat.

And here is a recipe for tartiflette from my Savoyard mother-in-heart:
- bacon bits (preferably raw)
- onions, diced
- sliced potatoes (like for a gratin)
- reblochon (the whole cheese)
In a baking dish, place the taters, bacon bits, and onions. Place the cheese, cut into pieces, over all of it. Bake 45 minutes at 220C (convert, you heathens).
posted by fraula at 12:57 PM on November 21, 2016 [8 favorites]

In the video I thought he was going to build a literal nacho bar by gluing the chips together. Que(so) lastima.

I can't get over my disappointment at how little advantage these videos took of the structural possibilities of fondoodling.

A device to give you a warm version of Easy Cheese and the like is not something the world needs. A device provides a savory edible mortar on the other hand...
posted by sparklemotion at 12:59 PM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Do you just throw it out when you're done?

I washed the chocolate fountain my wife brought home from BB&B, and it went straight back into the box as soon as I finished. It took forever -- all those nooks and crannies. So not worth it.

But...cheese gun. Pew, pew, right into my gob.

Damn.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:13 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Just when I was starting to think that there was not one speck of redeeming value in 2016...
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:18 PM on November 21, 2016

macaroni individually injected with cheese
posted by Kabanos at 1:21 PM on November 21, 2016 [10 favorites]

I wonder if the tip would be hot enough to cook a beaten egg coming out? Egg strings!
posted by Kabanos at 1:30 PM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is the equivalent device for eggs. Here's a helpful video of it in action.
posted by phunniemee at 1:36 PM on November 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

Also, here is the recipe for raclette

And here is a recipe for tartiflette from my Savoyard mother-in-heart:

We're gonna need a bigger fondoodle.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:38 PM on November 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

Here's a helpful video of it in action.

⊙_ʘ
posted by Kabanos at 1:51 PM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

My first thought was "I don't care, 2016 - this still doesn't make up for Bowie & Cohen".

My second thought was "I bet they don't make a 240V version".

My third thought was "But it's just a heater, so you could connect 2 in series …"
posted by Pinback at 2:15 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Bake 45 minutes at 220C (convert, you heathens).

Not in Trump's America!!

/hamburger
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:28 PM on November 21, 2016

Surely they mean Kraft has finally met cheese.
posted by maryr at 2:43 PM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

At least it looks like it wouldn't jam as much as a 3Doodler (baseline, normal condition: jammed and not working.)
posted by blnkfrnk at 4:13 PM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

You could drizzle cheddar cheese on potato chips. And then for dessert I bet you could use it to drizzle chocolate on potato chips too.
posted by jenjenc at 4:33 PM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Do you just throw it out when you're done?

I think upthread it says that the parts that touch cheese can go in the dishwasher.
posted by palomar at 4:42 PM on November 21, 2016

I want to get one so I can write very very dirty things on my boyfriend's tacos.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:35 PM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]

Yes I love the part on the website where it repeatedly mentions the theee parts that are exposed to cheese.

Exposed to cheese.

Rolls off your tongue, don't it?
posted by telepanda at 6:19 PM on November 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

"CHEESE PROPULSION VALVE"

Did NASA also cover this in their article for the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics (AIAA)’s Journal of Propulsion and Power
posted by Gorgik at 6:30 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Imagine what truly imaginative users of a Star Trek replicator could achieve as far as food architecture is concerned! I won't even supply examples, because your brain is already running rampant with this idea!

Life-sized cheddar bust of Neelix.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:35 AM on November 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

Halloween Jack: Life-sized cheddar bust of Neelix.

I'm not sure if thinking about this is putting me off of cheese, or if I want to have one of these so I can devour it while getting out my feelings over how annoying Neelix was as a character. (Seriously, I'd rather watch Wesley save the day again.)
posted by SansPoint at 8:56 AM on November 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Exposed to Cheese definitely my next band name
posted by supermedusa at 2:16 PM on November 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Also, here is the recipe for raclette:

I read this really quickly as "racelette" and thought the french must be really getting impacted from the recent election
posted by numaner at 2:32 PM on November 22, 2016

I think I need this, I also think my roommate aka the-master-of-our-kitchen might kill me, but in this brave new world we have to live the way we want.
posted by numaner at 2:37 PM on November 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

You can put *any* cheese in this. Any cheese.

What a time to be alive.
posted by Jilder at 11:26 PM on November 22, 2016 [2 favorites]