Decorate the tree the way we deserve
November 25, 2016 9:33 PM Subscribe
I love this, though their website kept crashing my browser. How I wish I'd seen this before hitting Target tonight!
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:04 PM on November 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:04 PM on November 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
Love. This. Thinking I may need a special year end decor for my new years and this will be central.
posted by chapps at 10:14 PM on November 25, 2016
posted by chapps at 10:14 PM on November 25, 2016
You could use tissue for the flames and those flickering candle LEDs (the circuit is inside the LED so you can throw away the white plastic part if you use a battery holder) for a action packed effect.
posted by boilermonster at 10:38 PM on November 25, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by boilermonster at 10:38 PM on November 25, 2016 [9 favorites]
Appropriate for the last ever Christmas. Trumpmas is going to suck because what do you give the man that already has everything?
posted by adept256 at 10:45 PM on November 25, 2016
posted by adept256 at 10:45 PM on November 25, 2016
Building permits. If you know what's good for your country, that is.
posted by No-sword at 3:29 AM on November 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by No-sword at 3:29 AM on November 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
Incase the burning dumpster metaphor becomes inadequate, may I suggest something I saw while driving to my parent's house on Thanksgiving: an exploding garbage truck.
(OK, it didn't really explode into pieces. It just burst into a momentary ball of fire several times larger than the truck itself.)
posted by paper chromatographologist at 4:25 AM on November 26, 2016 [16 favorites]
(OK, it didn't really explode into pieces. It just burst into a momentary ball of fire several times larger than the truck itself.)
posted by paper chromatographologist at 4:25 AM on November 26, 2016 [16 favorites]
Yeah, that website. Holy crap. Nice web-ponystical metaphor for the concept.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 6:07 AM on November 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 6:07 AM on November 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Welp, now I know what I'm getting everyone at work for the holidays.
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:33 AM on November 26, 2016
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:33 AM on November 26, 2016
But I already have one of these on my tree. That said, you can always alter a store-bought ornament to good effect.
posted by lagomorphius at 6:49 AM on November 26, 2016
posted by lagomorphius at 6:49 AM on November 26, 2016
I love this, though their website kept crashing my browser.
The full-screen ad it threw for me just before it happened, though, was for the St. Paul Ice Fishing and Winter Sports Show, so the last thing I saw before my browser noped out was a guy out on a frozen lake holding up a perch.
As someone who likes fishing, I got curious.
I don't mean to derail here - it's just that my browser crashed in a very Minnesota way. Here's a snippet of the schedule for the show:
12:00pm Ice Formulas for Panfish - "Tackle Terry" Tuma
1:00pm Gearing Up for Gameday - Chris Granrud
2:00pm Hottest Walleye Trends On-Ice - Jason Mitchell
3:00pm Tungsten: More Than a Lead Substitute - Dave Genz
4:00pm Agressive Tactics for More Fish - Nate Zelinsky
5:30pm Minnesota Humor - Ole & Elmer
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:10 AM on November 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
The full-screen ad it threw for me just before it happened, though, was for the St. Paul Ice Fishing and Winter Sports Show, so the last thing I saw before my browser noped out was a guy out on a frozen lake holding up a perch.
As someone who likes fishing, I got curious.
I don't mean to derail here - it's just that my browser crashed in a very Minnesota way. Here's a snippet of the schedule for the show:
12:00pm Ice Formulas for Panfish - "Tackle Terry" Tuma
1:00pm Gearing Up for Gameday - Chris Granrud
2:00pm Hottest Walleye Trends On-Ice - Jason Mitchell
3:00pm Tungsten: More Than a Lead Substitute - Dave Genz
4:00pm Agressive Tactics for More Fish - Nate Zelinsky
5:30pm Minnesota Humor - Ole & Elmer
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:10 AM on November 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
The full-screen ad it threw for me just before it happened, though, was for the St. Paul Ice Fishing and Winter Sports Show, so the last thing I saw before my browser noped out was a guy out on a frozen lake holding up a perch.
Ok, then I can tell this old PHC joke.
How do you go ice fishing?
You get a box of frozen peas. Then you cut a hole in the ice and set the peas out around the hole. And when a fish comes up to take a pea, you grab him.
posted by lagomorphius at 9:19 AM on November 26, 2016
Ok, then I can tell this old PHC joke.
How do you go ice fishing?
You get a box of frozen peas. Then you cut a hole in the ice and set the peas out around the hole. And when a fish comes up to take a pea, you grab him.
posted by lagomorphius at 9:19 AM on November 26, 2016
It's a subtle enough design that your grandchildren will study this heirloom and ask you what was so special about 2016 and you can say, "oh, that's a dumpster fire. 2016 was a dumpster fire." That way the memory will live on.
posted by Taft at 9:38 AM on November 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Taft at 9:38 AM on November 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
I want to laugh, but I can't.
posted by tommasz at 9:54 AM on November 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 9:54 AM on November 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
It'll look quaint when 2016 is remembered not as a uniquely shit year, but as the last year that you could still see fragments of blue sky through gaps in the acrid black smoke.
posted by acb at 3:46 PM on November 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by acb at 3:46 PM on November 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
I'm making mine as I type. I figure if nothing else, it'll give me something to look at the tree with and laugh bitterly over.
posted by sciatrix at 4:14 PM on November 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by sciatrix at 4:14 PM on November 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
This is just to say,
I have consumed
all the optimism
you had that 2017 was
to be a better year.
It's only a calendar,
and the unrelenting shitstorm
will not let up
regardless of when you flip a page.
Forgive me
it's a self-sustaining dumpster fire
so hot
and so greasy.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:15 PM on November 26, 2016 [12 favorites]
I have consumed
all the optimism
you had that 2017 was
to be a better year.
It's only a calendar,
and the unrelenting shitstorm
will not let up
regardless of when you flip a page.
Forgive me
it's a self-sustaining dumpster fire
so hot
and so greasy.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:15 PM on November 26, 2016 [12 favorites]
Is there a list somewhere of All The Pieces of Trash in the Dumpster Fire? The author mentioned some but is there a complete list? Overly Ambitious Types plan on constructing a 3D dumpster with the list inside.
posted by meemzi at 11:23 PM on November 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by meemzi at 11:23 PM on November 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm sure you could cobble one together from wikipedia.
posted by davelog at 4:40 AM on November 27, 2016
posted by davelog at 4:40 AM on November 27, 2016
I both like the idea, and at the same time don't want to immortalize 2016, and what acb said.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:49 PM on November 27, 2016
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:49 PM on November 27, 2016
I would add sequin wheels to the bottom to make it look more like a dumpster. And maybe a lid in back of the flames.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:56 AM on November 28, 2016
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:56 AM on November 28, 2016
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posted by freethefeet at 9:54 PM on November 25, 2016 [4 favorites]