Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies
December 1, 2016 4:03 PM   Subscribe

 
I didn't make far through that.
posted by Stu-Pendous at 4:08 PM on December 1, 2016 [22 favorites]


For reasons unknown to me, I've had this song in my head for several days now. This isn't helping...
posted by Helga-woo at 4:08 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


*be less ess the rains "
posted by jonmc at 4:11 PM on December 1, 2016


thank you for making my day so much better with this
posted by koeselitz at 4:17 PM on December 1, 2016


Why? Seriously, what's the point? It sounds just as awful as you would expect.
posted by Frayed Knot at 4:17 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


Palate cleanser
posted by The Tensor at 4:18 PM on December 1, 2016 [17 favorites]


thank you for making my day so much better with this
posted by koeselitz at 7:17 PM


Why? Seriously, what's the point? It sounds just as awful as you would expect.
posted by Frayed Knot at 7:17 PM


There are two types of people in the world
posted by saturday_morning at 4:18 PM on December 1, 2016 [24 favorites]


Oh great, now I'm going to have to spend the rest of the day searching my apartment for whatever secret recording device they used to grab this.
posted by ckape at 4:18 PM on December 1, 2016 [18 favorites]


Called it! These kill me every damn time.

Best part is using YouTube Doubler to play these simultaneously.

Aaaaafffearaaaffrriicacaiicaaa

Also for added fun, the mashup I did last time of Take On Me half step flat and a half step sharp.
posted by Existential Dread at 4:19 PM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]


*listens to Toto*

*looks at "Up Next" pane*

Michael Jackson - Beat It (All Instruments Off Tempo)

"Sooo...it's gonna be that kind of evening, huh?"

*clicks*
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:23 PM on December 1, 2016 [23 favorites]


Surely, we live in an Age of Wonders.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:25 PM on December 1, 2016 [10 favorites]




Overhead at my house:

"What the FUCK are listening to?"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:27 PM on December 1, 2016 [26 favorites]


I really need to get out to karaoke more often.
posted by saturday_morning at 4:27 PM on December 1, 2016 [13 favorites]


From the old thread on A-ha:

What's fascinating to me is the what our minds 'center' the tuning on and how easily that's disrupted. For example in the A-Ha track, during the chorus, it sounds like the guitars have a slight bend (from the tremelo arm I guess) which makes my brain assume the vocals are correct and the instrumental track is the one that is out of tune.

The slight bend is probably from the chorus effect that the whole decade was drenched in, not the tremolo (sic, but that's Leo Fender's fault) arm.
posted by thelonius at 4:28 PM on December 1, 2016


The Tensor: “Palate cleanser
I would have also accepted this one.
posted by ob1quixote at 4:28 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


Yeahhh, Pluffnub's a goddanm genuis. Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive (Vocals Half-Step Out of Key)
posted by Existential Dread at 4:28 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


I can't stop laughing at that Take On Me mashup.

Shit like this makes me wish I had a really booming sound system in my car. I would spend my days parking in places with high pedestrian traffic, blasting these songs, watching people look in my direction with nervous uncertainty.
posted by mannequito at 4:28 PM on December 1, 2016 [22 favorites]


I really want this done for a Roxy Music song, I think Bryan Ferry's horrific warbling (I say that with the greatest of affection, seriously) would really add to the effect.
posted by invitapriore at 4:29 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


Oh, but Under Pressure, though. What a mess that would be. A hilarious, hilarious mess.
posted by droplet at 4:34 PM on December 1, 2016


Also, while I don't believe one needs any sort of training to enjoy (or despise) these, it's been interesting to see how the two camps shake out among my classically-trained musician friends and how it correlates to their musical dispositions. I've been 100% successful so far at guessing which ones would react with something along the lines of "this is an AFFRONT to ALL OF MUSIC" as compared to throwing up metaphorical devil horns in response, and it's not as simple as asking which ones are down with twentieth century/atonal music.
posted by invitapriore at 4:35 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


Not much seems capable of making me laugh lately, but these have all inexplicably reduced me to uncontrollable giggles. Thanks.
posted by Illusory contour at 4:38 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


*listens to Toto*

*looks at "Up Next" pane*

Michael Jackson - Beat It (All Instruments Off Tempo)

"Sooo...it's gonna be that kind of evening, huh?"

*clicks*


This is so much worse than all the others put together. Vocals off-key is an unpleasant listen. This is the active destruction of music.
posted by kafziel at 4:39 PM on December 1, 2016 [8 favorites]


This is not pleasing.
posted by humboldt32 at 4:39 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


like on the one hand i really want to listen to this bc i know it will make me sO ANGRY but on the other i should probably not be so excited to be super angry all the time? idk conundrum
posted by poffin boffin at 4:39 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


Oh, but Under Pressure, though. What a mess that would be. A hilarious, hilarious mess.

Pssst. Over here...

Queen Feat. David Bowie - Under Pressure (Vocals Half-Step Out of Key)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:40 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]


ok ANGRIEST HISSING
posted by poffin boffin at 4:41 PM on December 1, 2016 [11 favorites]






I made it through a solid hour of that continuous loop of Tom's verse on I Miss You that's on YouTube and yet a couple small changes had me tapping out within a minute in order to save my sanity.
posted by Copronymus at 4:46 PM on December 1, 2016


Pssst. Over here...

OH! Pretty damn dreadful! I would wish that somewhere they're laughing at this. "We should've done this, Davy." ::Laughter::
posted by droplet at 4:47 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think the reason I find these hilarious is the same reason I found playing 45 rpm records at 33 1/2 rpm endlessly hilarious when I was a kid.

What that exact reason is, I have no idea, but I suspect they're related.

YMMV.

If you want one full of little surprises, there's:

Journey - Don't Stop Believin' (Pitch Shifter Madness)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:48 PM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]




Also this is actaually Toto's best song.
posted by jonmc at 5:12 PM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]


Unsurprisingly, the line where "Kilimanjaro rises above the Serengeti" doesn't sound any worse than the original. I have always ALWAYS hated that bit where he crammed the 'Serengeti' reference into one syllable because he ran out of room in the line. It sounds shoe horned and forced EVERY TIME I listen to that song.

The rest of the line is flowing and gentle and then 'SRNGTI' is jammed in just before last beat.
posted by Brockles at 5:16 PM on December 1, 2016 [9 favorites]


I look forward to listening to this when I get home. Suck it, haters!
posted by rtha at 5:19 PM on December 1, 2016


"the lengths people go to fool youtube's content id..."
posted by Foci for Analysis at 5:19 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm getting flashbacks to me super drunk at a karaoke bar in Tokyo.
posted by 256 at 5:26 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also this is actaually Toto's best song.

THAT WAS IN NO WAY THE THEME MUSIC FROM DUNE THAT YOU LED ME TO EXPECT!

*warms gridfire projectors*
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:26 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


SansPoint, I was sure that, despite the title, that would turn out to be Never Gonna Give You Up plain and unmodified, which would have been some genius meta-trolling.
posted by edheil at 5:31 PM on December 1, 2016 [11 favorites]


ROU_Xenophobe, I'll subject you to these two moments of brilliance.
posted by jonmc at 5:31 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


Michael Jackson - Beat It (All Instruments Off Tempo)

"Sooo...it's gonna be that kind of evening, huh?"

*clicks*

This is so much worse than all the others put together.


It's true. This is like he has the worst back up band ever assembled. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying, which is embarrassing because I'm on public transportation.
posted by greermahoney at 5:32 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


Oh that version of Under Pressure makes me so happy! Thank you.
posted by beandip at 5:36 PM on December 1, 2016


I just listened to the real version of Africa and it made me all tense, because my brain didn't trust the song not to turn all weird and wrong on me.

Isn't there some kind of optical illusion you can look at that will mar your ability to see color long-term or something like that?

I wonder if these songs break your brain that way.
posted by edheil at 5:45 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


The semitone-flat ones make me laugh but when they also throw the tempo off it wrecks it for me and it's not funny anymore, I don't know why.
posted by chococat at 6:26 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


The Toto Africa thing is funny, in the "this shrimp tastes funny....blaaaaaargh!" sort of way.

Now, this is funny. Spring it on a serious fan.
posted by Artful Codger at 6:46 PM on December 1, 2016


I was just grading some playing test videos (I'm a middle school band director) and I thought "ah, I'll take a break from this and enjoy some diversions on Metafilter" and there's this.

IF I HAD WANTED A HALF STEP OFF AND A BEAT EARLY I WOULD HAVE KEPT LISTENING TO MY STUDENTS' VIDEOS.
posted by rossination at 6:46 PM on December 1, 2016 [44 favorites]


I can't actually listen to more than a few bars of any of these, but those few bars are making me laugh so hard.
posted by limeonaire at 6:48 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]


My apartment walls are quite thin. My poor neighbors.
posted by greermahoney at 6:49 PM on December 1, 2016


I had to nope right out of Under Pressure. That was, by far, the worst.
posted by greermahoney at 6:52 PM on December 1, 2016


My wife just kept yelling "why would they do this, please, put the real one on, wash this away."
posted by griphus at 6:53 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]


Rush's YYZ, all instruments off tempo.

When your teenage garage band attempts to play a Rush tune for the very first time.
posted by spinifex23 at 7:14 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


Songs like this make me want to have a dinner party and throw one of these recordings into the mix to see who notices.
posted by 4ster at 7:24 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


This is like malört for the ears.
posted by jedicus at 7:27 PM on December 1, 2016 [11 favorites]


I needed to end that sharpish.
posted by Pfardentrott at 7:38 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


Thank you for this. Laughing a lot.
posted by SarahElizaP at 7:49 PM on December 1, 2016


A chaser: africa but it gets faster every time they say africa bee.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:53 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


I honestly can't hear any real difference.

Maybe I should go read that article about the "scientifically amusical" people?
posted by Scattercat at 8:10 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Toto and Michael Jackson ones had me clutching my sides- this might be the hardest I've laughed since the election. I was cracking up just reading the titles, somehow, before the music even started.
posted by Deutscheben at 8:22 PM on December 1, 2016


can't stand all that dissonance? Try some consonance...
posted by Vitamaster at 8:26 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


Someone please make a YT playlist of all the videos in this thread, hack a suburban mall intercom, and get a livestream of the security cameras up. On the weekend before Christmas. Pretty please.
posted by mannequito at 8:41 PM on December 1, 2016 [8 favorites]


Yeah, all of the off-pitch ones are all godawful at first but eventually I just relax to it and eh whatever I've heard worse. I actually kind of like the off-tempo ones for their jangly enthusiasm.
posted by Kyol at 8:47 PM on December 1, 2016


Huh. I've never seen my cat's ears move like that.
posted by mudpuppie at 8:50 PM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]


"RickRoll'd but the vocals keep getting higher and the instruments keep getting lower ."

I particularly like how it briefly comes back in tune for half a bar every four bars or so and you start to relax but NOPE.

"Michael Jackson - Beat It (All Instruments Off Tempo) "

OH GOD IT'S LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON FRONTED AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BAND CONCERT
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:17 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


Toto's "Africa" with vocals one step out of key and off-beat

I know this as "Tuesday Karaoke Night at the Gladstone."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:54 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]


Surely, we live in an Age of Wonders.

Gotta take some time to do the things we never had.
posted by nubs at 9:57 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


"Michael Jackson - Beat It (All Instruments Off Tempo) "

This is why I left my last band. Seriously.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:58 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


Queen Feat. David Bowie - Under Pressure (Vocals Half-Step Out of Key)

a.k.a. "The Simon LeBon Cover"
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:02 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


I can't stop laughing at the "Beat It" video, both for its own sake and because of this interchange between a commentor and the creator:

Slim Jimmy 1 month ago
I'm calling the cops.
Pluffnub 1 month ago
Don't do that.

posted by invitapriore at 10:12 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


The semitone-flat ones make me laugh but when they also throw the tempo off it wrecks it for me and it's not funny anymore, I don't know why.

Ha, I am apparently the exact opposite! I couldn't make it 35 seconds into the OP but Michael Jackson ft. The Shaggs sent me into paroxysms.
posted by en forme de poire at 10:13 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


This vaporwave fad has gone too far!
posted by hot_monster at 10:14 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


(I think the version of Toto that would get me would be one that was in tune during the verses and then exactly a half step flat during the chorus.)
posted by en forme de poire at 10:17 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


OK, no, wait, this one is funny too. I just had to persist past the initial shock. Throw away the receipt, I'm buying it.
posted by en forme de poire at 10:19 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


> > RickRoll'd but the vocals keep getting higher and the instruments keep getting lower.
> I particularly like how it briefly comes back in tune for half a bar every four bars or so and you start to relax but NOPE.

I am pretty sure I have heard auditions like this and had the exact same reaction Eyebrows had. (Also, I appreciated the appearance of Kylie Minogue towards the end.)
posted by en forme de poire at 10:25 PM on December 1, 2016


Daler Mehndi, spurred by criticisms that people only liked his music videos due to to the pretty female backup dancers, put together a catchy song, Tunak Tunak Tun, with corny cgi backgrounds and multiple Daler Mehndis as backup dancers. It was an instant hit.

And when it speeds up every time Mehndi says Tunak ...
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:46 PM on December 1, 2016 [23 favorites]


"And when it speeds up every time Mehndi says Tunak ... "

This is so awesome my jaw literally dropped open.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:28 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


Lost it at "Seeeeeerengetty".
posted by brokkr at 1:20 AM on December 2, 2016


Oh! Oh! You can also learn Music Theory with Pluffnub!
posted by brokkr at 1:33 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


You all aren't listening to enough Incredible String Band. Key and tempo are just crutches for those too feeble to make it to the end of a song without their assistance.
posted by merlynkline at 2:13 AM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]


Fuck, how do I sneak all these off-key/off-tempo monstrosities into the office Christmas party playlist?
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:18 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also for added fun, the mashup I did last time of Take On Me half step flat and a half step sharp.

OH GOD I THINK THIS IS SUMMONING SOMETHING
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:21 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Coming away from that other thread, I thought to myself "Yeah, I probably have a certain rythym and tone deafness."

Welp, I guess not.
posted by constantinescharity at 3:39 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Thank you all. This is a badly needed laugh in a rough time. Beat It (All Instruments Off-Tempo) has me in hysterics.

(Unrelated, but on the theme of silliness on the blue: yesterday I was trying to explain to someone to what makes Metafilter great. Going through my favorites I remembered the What is your most awkward moment thread. We ended up reading them aloud on the couch for an hour and it had us both of us snort-laughing uncontrollably. The one-upmanship of ignominy is just so satisfying and cathartic.

Read them all, but especially Rissa's Museum Reunion and the Douglas Adams Cookie Incident and Greg Nog's Herb Dip Adventure.

posted by andromache at 4:25 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oddly enough, making Eminem lag by 2% results in a vast improvement on the original.
posted by flabdablet at 6:00 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


Man. Listening to the Under Pressure version made me a little dizzy and sick to my stomach. Do I have a brain tumor or something? It was very unpleasant.
posted by Tevin at 6:06 AM on December 2, 2016


The "Beat It" one made me laugh so hard I started crying. I am saving the "Africa" one for a reward after I finish my next hour of work.
posted by minsies at 7:16 AM on December 2, 2016


A friend's reaction: "It was so funny until it felt like hell."
posted by materialgirl at 7:18 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


This is one of those threads that makes me want to have all of you over for beers.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:18 AM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


Hollaback Seinfeld very regrettably showed up in the sidebar.
posted by materialgirl at 7:19 AM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


This is exactly what my brain has been doing since the election every time I try to concentrate on work.
posted by antinomia at 7:35 AM on December 2, 2016


I feel like if we had a basic income and people didn't have to work, there would be so much more of this kind of thing.
posted by AFABulous at 7:46 AM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]


This is true and probably a good thing on balance but maybe we should keep quiet about this particular likely effect of basic income.
posted by asperity at 7:55 AM on December 2, 2016 [6 favorites]


"And when it speeds up every time Mehndi says Tunak ... "

I'm quite with the 'every really bad cover band you ever heard/karaoke pain' crew on most of these, but that... that is genius. It is so bizarrely cheering I can't even. I would have lost control of every embarrassing bodily function through hysteria if that had been dropped into one of the acid/house/techno rave nights of my blissed-out phase.

Lord Aphex smiles upon you.

(And props on the ISB call-out. You don't listen to the Incredible String Band, you throw yourself into the top and white-water bodysurf your way down through the vortices. The ex Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams' favourite band.)
posted by Devonian at 7:59 AM on December 2, 2016


I want to plug Rhomboid's awesome work in the last Pluffnub thread, particularly this utterly amazing version of More Than a Feeling
posted by Existential Dread at 8:34 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


Just discovered Bottom Precision from the side bar. And GoatStep deserves mention.
posted by jeffburdges at 8:41 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


I want to play this over and over and over for my six-year-old until it dawns on her exactly why I'm playing it over and over and over for her, specifically, and she gets really mad at me.
posted by gurple at 8:54 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


This is what happens when your stage monitors don't work.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:56 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


What a bunch of idiots. Some people have too much frickin' time on their hands.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 10:34 AM on December 2, 2016


Well, yeah, that's where art comes from.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:38 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


The 'Beat It' one is pretty much the Harmolodic version, just needs one more drummer.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 10:39 AM on December 2, 2016


Moderator secret: I find some of my favorite things on MetaFilter because someone flags a comment in what turns out to be a low-key amazing post.
posted by cortex at 10:44 AM on December 2, 2016 [5 favorites]


*creates IFTTT service to autoflag the third comment in all my FPPs*
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:38 AM on December 2, 2016


This sounds like what 2016 feels like.
posted by a hat out of hell at 11:57 AM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]


Reminds me of a less aggressively malevolent V/VM - "The Lady in Red (Is Dancing With Meat)"
posted by FatherDagon at 12:24 PM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


Also for added fun, the mashup I did last time of Take On Me half step flat and a half step sharp.

I find sites like vmashup and youtubedoubler and such are not all that reliable about getting a perfect synch, which is troubling for mashups like this.

So I downloaded and converted and combined those in Audacity. Here you go.
posted by kafziel at 1:05 PM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]


Metafilter: low-key, amazing posts one step out of key and off beat.
posted by nubs at 2:09 PM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


the quiet wordless parts of Under Pressure are ~perfect~

mmm bah-bah bay
mmm bah-bah bay
e-day-dah
e-day-dah
that's okay!
posted by vibratory manner of working at 4:22 PM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


So I downloaded and converted and combined those in Audacity. Here you go.

You're doing the Lord's work. Wait, not the Lord, the other guy.
posted by Existential Dread at 5:02 PM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


this is all fucking beautiful
posted by flatluigi at 5:20 PM on December 2, 2016


So horrible. Made me cringe for the person singing it.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 6:29 PM on December 2, 2016


"HEY JUDE" BUT IT SPEEDS UP WITH EVERY "NA-NA"
posted by XtinaS at 10:35 AM on December 3, 2016


or any longish Dream Theater song where it speeds up when the time signature changes
posted by XtinaS at 10:35 AM on December 3, 2016


So I downloaded and converted and combined those in Audacity.

Thank you so much, kafziel. I haven't cried from laughter in such a long time. It may have bordered on hysteria, but whatevs.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:16 AM on December 3, 2016


v.2, now messing with the stereo balance for the two tracks. Might or might not be an improvement, I can't say.
posted by kafziel at 1:39 PM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oooh, much better! The drums aren't so phasey now.

A++++, would subject myself to this again.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:58 PM on December 3, 2016


v.2, now messing with the stereo balance for the two tracks.

This reminds me of nothing so much as that scene in Army of Darkness where Ash starts to chainsaw up Bad Ash, and they show Bad Ash's face howling
posted by Existential Dread at 9:59 PM on December 4, 2016


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