Do you take cream and sugar in your goatse?
December 14, 2016 6:35 PM   Subscribe

McDonald's is challenging Starbucks this year, not with a new coffee drink but with an unfortunate cup design. And if you poke a hole in the cup, it becomes—well, let Fake Morgan Freeman show you. posted by Johnny Wallflower (55 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE?

(Seriously, where is the outrage? I’m surprised.)
posted by Going To Maine at 6:42 PM on December 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Why Your Brain Is Programmed To See The McDonald's Butt Cup "

And here I thought the answer was being exposed to 4chan at a certain point in internet history.
posted by matrixclown at 6:42 PM on December 14, 2016 [13 favorites]


They got the viral ad game on lock though...
posted by sibboleth at 6:42 PM on December 14, 2016 [9 favorites]


(Not that I’m outraged. But it seems like someone should be.)
posted by Going To Maine at 6:42 PM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


Yeah seriously; why is McDonald's getting a pass on serving coffee in a red cup when last year red cups meant that Starbucks hated Christianity?
posted by at by at 6:47 PM on December 14, 2016 [20 favorites]


CLOWN TIME IS OVER
posted by thelonius at 6:53 PM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


OH THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MITTENS
posted by murphy slaw at 7:00 PM on December 14, 2016 [16 favorites]


For a brief moment I suspected the bonus link to just lead me to an google image search of goatse...
posted by bigendian at 7:03 PM on December 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


(_)*(~)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:08 PM on December 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


The worst part of this is that terrible stabilized gif drift.
posted by books for weapons at 7:09 PM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


lol butts
posted by indubitable at 7:15 PM on December 14, 2016 [7 favorites]


also big shout out for the dramatic reading of Everyone Poops on the second link
posted by murphy slaw at 7:16 PM on December 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


if you poke a hole in the cup,

I was expecting a straw so this was unexpectedly funny. Reminds me of the Pep Boys matchbooks.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:23 PM on December 14, 2016 [6 favorites]


I think people got mad at Starbucks because it was called the Unity cup.

In contrast, the McDonald's cup celebrates the concept of loose affiliation. So loose it's almost watery.
posted by mochapickle at 7:33 PM on December 14, 2016 [5 favorites]


As usual, Japan takes it too far.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:35 PM on December 14, 2016 [12 favorites]


I'd never seen the cup without the added hands before (THANKS TWITTER), to the extent that I assumed they were part of the design. Without them, it looks a lot less suggestive (although still a little bit suggestive). So I'm going to look askance on the "Why Your Brain Is Programmed To See The McDonald's Cup Butt" claim.
posted by JHarris at 7:38 PM on December 14, 2016 [4 favorites]


when looked at askance, the claim resembles a butt
posted by murphy slaw at 7:41 PM on December 14, 2016 [26 favorites]


From a design/advertising perspective, this is really well done. They are successfully getting people to purchase coffee. They're winning the viral marketing game, and you don't hear anyone complaining about the secular nature of mittens.

See also: Happy Santa, surprised reindeer, which sold quite a few 6-packs of Pepsi without having the benefit of the commercial Internet meme-factory.
posted by toxic at 7:43 PM on December 14, 2016 [7 favorites]


There is no such thing as bad publicity...
posted by jim in austin at 7:47 PM on December 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


I have a bit of a hypothesis that there is nothing so great in this world that cannot be taken down by clever, anonymous assholes on the internets, and I am glad that this is being tested against the global corporate might of McDonalds*.

*I do not believe that McDonalds coffee tastes like shit.
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:47 PM on December 14, 2016 [4 favorites]


Well - I think it's GREAT ART - could've been a Tate Turner Prize Winner.
posted by helmutdog at 7:59 PM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


Yeah seriously; why is McDonald's getting a pass on serving coffee in a red cup when last year red cups meant that Starbucks hated Christianity?

Culture war.

Starbucks has long been a symbol of urban elitism while McDonald's is the small-town diner and social club. Also, I suspect the "War on Christmas" has been a fundraising scam for anti-gay hate groups, who make a big show of publishing "naughty and nice" lists.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 8:13 PM on December 14, 2016 [12 favorites]


You can fold an Australian $5 note to make a naughty picture. While the new notes contain all kinds of embossing, transparencies, holograms, and doubtless other security features, one thing they didn't change about the design is you can still fold up the rude picture.
posted by adept256 at 8:17 PM on December 14, 2016 [5 favorites]


Every design firm should have a 12 year-old boy on retainer for this reason.
posted by snortasprocket at 8:29 PM on December 14, 2016 [14 favorites]


Why your brain isn't at all programmed to see a sad toothy whale giving a blow-job on an Australian $5 note.
posted by Squeak Attack at 8:31 PM on December 14, 2016 [35 favorites]




Solution to Starbucks Mickey D's quandary: just go to Dunkin' Donuts.
posted by jonmc at 8:42 PM on December 14, 2016


Rules of Graphic Design:
1) Never design anything that looks like boobs, a penis, or a butt.
2) People will see them in your design anyway.
3) Always subtlely make everything look like boobs, a penis, or a butt.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 8:45 PM on December 14, 2016 [26 favorites]


Ok my brain is broken since I had to google what was actually dirty about the Australian $5.

McDonalds cup can't be unseen.
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 9:00 PM on December 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


“fitting prior knowledge to the current situation”

said ass man.
posted by srboisvert at 9:00 PM on December 14, 2016


Mittens?! But they're way too big for the hands in the picture and nobody holds their mittens that way!
posted by Omnomnom at 9:49 PM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ohhhhh
posted by Omnomnom at 9:50 PM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


god bless you, johnny w, for this FPP. i soooo needed a laugh.
posted by j_curiouser at 10:06 PM on December 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's a terrible depiction of mittens (things you never expected to say) because when you pick up a round cup, your thumbs are on the inside. Even if you are facing a person holding a cup of coffee their thumbs are on the inside. Thumbs are on the outside when you are holding a still beating human heart above your head to the adulation of the crowd.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:54 PM on December 14, 2016 [19 favorites]


Angel, star, and McDonald's cup. Decorating the tree just got interesting.
posted by adept256 at 11:05 PM on December 14, 2016


So what's that phenomenon called where I read the article, see the butt and it overrides all alternative perception and cognition, and then by the time I reach the comment OH IT'S MITTENS, for a confused second I think they mean Mitt Romney and I think "Woah, that's a bit harsh... I mean he is an ass and did get kind of screwed recently, but..."?

And then my brain synchronizes again and I feel like I should probably get some coffee. McDonald's or other, doesn't matter.
posted by sively at 11:32 PM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


Many years ago, on a train in Melbourne, there was a drunk who was trying to hold the attention of a group of teenagers by explaining risqué tricks with a box of Redheads safety matches. Apparently, according to him, if you look at the logo (a stylised drawing of a red-haired woman) upside down, with a bit of imagination, it looks like "a whale rootin' a dinosaur".
posted by acb at 1:12 AM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


"McCafe" is also an anagram for "Fecal Matter." Well, almost.
posted by chavenet at 1:56 AM on December 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


The very phrase "your brain is programmed" is a sure sign of someone who knows no neuroscience.
posted by spitbull at 3:05 AM on December 15, 2016 [10 favorites]


I WON THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS
posted by mittens at 3:32 AM on December 15, 2016 [34 favorites]


Yeah seriously; why is McDonald's getting a pass on serving coffee in a red cup when last year red cups meant that Starbucks hated Christianity?

Starbucks is just a handy code word for coastal elites who don't drink real coffee or drive real trucks. Don't you remember remember "Howard Dean should take his tax-hiking, government-expanding, latte-drinking, sushi-eating, Volvo-driving, New York Times-reading, body-piercing, Hollywood-loving, left-wing freak show back to Vermont, where it belongs."?
posted by octothorpe at 4:41 AM on December 15, 2016


Thumbs are on the outside when you are holding a still beating human heart above your head to the adulation of the crowd.

Well, if you're a showboating tyro at Baby's First Blasphemous Sacrifice and all.

Or... I mean... that's what I've heard.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:24 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


The very phrase "your brain is programmed" is a sure sign of someone who knows no neuroscience.

I read that article as, "I just took Psychology 101? So I pretty much know everything now."
posted by indubitable at 6:29 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]




I was going to post the GIF version of this to Facebook but then I realized that it would raise more questions than eyebrows so I didn't. 12-year-old me is profoundly disappointed.
posted by tommasz at 6:59 AM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Did you consider posting Sing Or Swim's link instead? It's classier.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:39 AM on December 15, 2016


the cup, which (we think) is supposed to show a pair of mittens.

Oh, what the fuck EVER, distractify, it's obviously a fucking pair of mittens!
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:15 AM on December 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


This isn't bad graphic design, as the article insinuates. It's a pair of mittens that everyone saw as just a pair of mittens and nothing else, until one person drew in some features that made it look like a butt.
It could be done to any graphic by the right imaginative adolescent mind with a pen.
posted by rocket88 at 8:37 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE?

WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE BUTTRAGE?
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:42 AM on December 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


I get paid to walk my cousin's dog in gift cards to local coffee places, including McDonald's. So I get a lot of McDonald's coffee. It's cheap and tastes ok. My cups look nothing like this at all. I have red cups with a snowman silhouette wearing mittens, a scarf, and a tophat.
posted by xyzzy at 8:50 AM on December 15, 2016


why is there a butt on the front of the snowman?
posted by murphy slaw at 9:11 AM on December 15, 2016


Illustrator instructions: "draw Grimace on a cup."
posted by zippy at 10:30 AM on December 15, 2016


Well - I think it's GREAT ART - could've been a Tate Turner Prize Winner.

That was straight out of "Art School Confidential". Reminds me of the art school juvenalia we used to crank out.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 5:02 PM on December 15, 2016


Pretty shitty is all I have to say.
posted by Samizdata at 10:07 PM on December 15, 2016


This isn't bad graphic design, as the article insinuates. It's a pair of mittens that everyone saw as just a pair of mittens and nothing else, until one person drew in some features that made it look like a butt.

I disagree, having seen an unadulterated picture of the cups as my first exposure to it (sans headline or caption) and genuinely could see nothing but arse, without prompting. Even knowing what it's about, I struggle to see an even halfway decent depiction of mittens.
posted by Dysk at 10:29 AM on December 16, 2016


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