Wine is good, I told myself. Hot chocolate is good.
December 19, 2016 1:05 PM   Subscribe

Red Wine Hot Chocolate Is a Thing, and It’s (Surprisingly) Delicious [The New York Times] Frosé? That’s a summer drink. Hot toddies, eggnog, mulled wine? Please, those are for your parents. No, no, the must-have drink of winter 2016, at least according to a small but dedicated circle of food blogs, is red wine hot chocolate. A post this fall on Martha Stewart’s official Facebook page called it “spectacular.” Soon after, Cosmopolitan magazine called it “the best of both worlds.” The Kitchn, a popular recipe site, called it “the answer to your cold-weather blues.” And last month, The Daily Mail had an “exclusive” on a version of the recipe that had grown popular on Pinterest.
posted by Fizz (114 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
 
Nope. I still haven't forgiven the New York Times for the guacamole/peas fiasco.
posted by Fizz at 1:05 PM on December 19, 2016 [18 favorites]


This just sounds like a headache in a mug, tbh.
posted by soren_lorensen at 1:08 PM on December 19, 2016 [8 favorites]


I can't speak to this, but The Smitten Kitchen cookbook has a fantastic red wine velvet cake reipe.
posted by maryr at 1:08 PM on December 19, 2016 [4 favorites]


The New York Times: like a headache in a mug, tbh.
posted by Fizz at 1:09 PM on December 19, 2016 [11 favorites]


That sounds pretty good. I'm not likely to make it, but if someone else did, I'd be on board.
posted by Kitteh at 1:09 PM on December 19, 2016


WR;DF

(Won't read - Daily Fail)
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:09 PM on December 19, 2016 [12 favorites]


you can have my hot spiced wine when you pry the mug from the coffee table after i've fallen asleep on the couch
posted by The Gaffer at 1:11 PM on December 19, 2016 [58 favorites]


Hot toddies, eggnog, mulled wine? Please, those are for your parents.

It's hard to beat toddies for a cold weather libation that won't make you feel like death the next day (eggnog, our relationship is so complicated); wine and chocolate sounds potentially delicious and also like a recipe for a hangover that will last until Christmas.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:14 PM on December 19, 2016 [12 favorites]


It's hard to beat toddies for a cold weather libation

It's just such a terrrible name. I don't want to drink anything called a "toddy". It's infantalizing.
posted by thelonius at 1:15 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


5 days ago, my hometown of Santiago registered the highest temperature since they started keeping track of that sort of thing 100 years ago.
So, I might wait for a half turn around the sun before I try it, ok?
posted by signal at 1:15 PM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's just such a terrrible name. I don't want to drink anything called a "toddy". It's infantalizing.

It sounds like something a 50s housewife would wear to bed.

(I have no objection to the idea of drinking warmed-up bourbon, though.)
posted by tobascodagama at 1:26 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


This just sounds like a headache in a mug, tbh.

yes agreed. hot chocolate is a lovely chocolately wintery treat while red wine is a vile heartburny migraine trigger sent straight from hell to torment me with everything from its nauseating smell to its obsessive evangelists relentlessly lecturing me on its purported health properties.

anyway a splash of jameson's is quite nice in a cup of tea
posted by poffin boffin at 1:28 PM on December 19, 2016 [7 favorites]


Hot chocolate and absinthe, lemme tell you, mmm-mmm.
posted by Kyol at 1:32 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


Irish coffee. Red velvet cupcake. Skip the wine.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:42 PM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]


Red Wine Hot Chocolate Is a Thing, and It’s (Surprisingly) Delicious

If it's anything like the umpteen bottles of chocolate red wine that have appeared in the wine aisle at my grocery over the past couple of years, no, it isn't delicious.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:42 PM on December 19, 2016 [8 favorites]


It's not precisely the same, but I can highly recommend Cocoa Di Vine. It's Yoohoo of the Gods
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 1:43 PM on December 19, 2016 [5 favorites]


I don't want to drink anything called a "toddy". It's infantalizing.

Apparently it comes from the Hindu tāḍi, which is some sort of palm wine.

Besides, who wouldn't want a hygge toddy?
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:44 PM on December 19, 2016 [8 favorites]


I don't want to drink anything called a "toddy". It's infantalizing.

But in a good way. Two jiggers of Jameson with a slice of lemon and some cloves and honey, and it's just like mom tucked the blankets in tight under my chin.
posted by Diablevert at 1:47 PM on December 19, 2016 [25 favorites]


A mug of dark roasted coffee with the medicinal application of a decent brandy. No sugar. No cream. No cinnamon stick. The adult version, if you please...
posted by jim in austin at 1:52 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


Mad dog 20/20 and a bag of M&Ms, we're good.
posted by spitbull at 2:01 PM on December 19, 2016 [62 favorites]


Two jiggers of Jameson with a slice of lemon and some cloves and honey, and it's just like mom tucked the blankets in tight under my chin.

Have one for me. My objections above are theoretical at this point. I'm 0 for 1 against Jameson. Raised up the white flag.
posted by thelonius at 2:03 PM on December 19, 2016


Wait, Dan Pashman from the Sporkful just assured me that coquito was the holiday drink of the year. I'm so confused which trend to follow!
posted by Miko at 2:04 PM on December 19, 2016


Martha clears the table after the feast. She scoops the pine cone centrepiece into a bag. Everyone enjoyed themselves, of course. It was weeks in the planning. They're all gone now, she's alone. She takes the lid off the bottle of claret and puts it in the bin with the pine cones.
posted by adept256 at 2:09 PM on December 19, 2016 [6 favorites]


The tears of future generations is the holiday drink of the year.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:11 PM on December 19, 2016 [31 favorites]


Dan Pashman from the Sporkful just assured me that coquito was the holiday drink of the year

I do a lazy-man's coquito that has always been a hit: one can each of coconut cream, coconut milk, evaporated milk, and sweetened condensed milk. Blend with 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon and as much rum as you want (this year I used about a cup and a third). It's awesome stuff, and zero effort.
posted by uncleozzy at 2:13 PM on December 19, 2016 [15 favorites]


A mug of dark roasted coffee with the medicinal application of a decent brandy.

Why do that to a perfectly good brandy?
posted by Thorzdad at 2:21 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


as a pregnant lady, I am always looking for new ways to dilute the alcohol content of wine, but also still get to drink wine. so I'm going to try it!

(also we have a bunch of kinda-tasty-kinda-foul home-fermented wine sitting around which I suspect would be perfect for this, lest you wine purists worry about ruining an otherwise decadent blend)
posted by likeatoaster at 2:21 PM on December 19, 2016


one can each of coconut cream, coconut milk, evaporated milk, and sweetened condensed milk.

that sounds tasty but also my stomach just tried to leap out and escape my body when I read this
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:21 PM on December 19, 2016 [19 favorites]


My old neighbor has been making a version of this for years. It's pretty awesome, try it before you knock it.

Pepperidge farms milano cookies dipped in red wine are another of their innovations. 1000% more delicious than it sounds. Try it! Use a nice rich red, like a zinfandel or fruity pinot. You won't be sorry.
posted by fshgrl at 2:21 PM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]


Dark chocolate and scotch would also compliment each other, but scotch is kind of expensive to be mixing in a drink. The red wine thing seems like it's at least worth a shot.
posted by indubitable at 2:34 PM on December 19, 2016


A mug of dark roasted coffee with the medicinal application of a decent brandy.

Why do that to a perfectly good brandy?


To be fair, a decent brandy was specified, rather than a perfectly good one.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:36 PM on December 19, 2016 [9 favorites]


We also would have accepted a "fine" Brandy.
"What a good wine you would be..." replacing.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:42 PM on December 19, 2016 [11 favorites]


How I make hot chocolate: add two tablespoons of Droste Dutch Process cocoa to a mug with about two shot glasses of Irish Cream. Stir to make a smooth paste, then add hot milk, stir some more, and enjoy.
posted by monospace at 2:49 PM on December 19, 2016 [18 favorites]


that sounds tasty but also my stomach just tried to leap out and escape my body when I read this

You're not adding enough rum. For realski, I've been making it a couple years now after sampling some homemade by a Puerto Rican friend, and if you have enough rum in there it really helps cut the sweetness. It's still very rich.

Also a little anise seed is nice, along with the cinnamon and nutmeg. If your grocery has the Badilla spices in the Latin foods aisle, they always have it.
posted by Diablevert at 2:53 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


one can each of coconut cream, coconut milk, evaporated milk, and sweetened condensed milk.

that sounds tasty but also my stomach just tried to leap out and escape my body when I read this


i would love to comment on this but my entire block was incinerated by the immense cloud of methane gas generated by simply reading this recipe
posted by poffin boffin at 2:58 PM on December 19, 2016 [19 favorites]


I was at a tasting room in one of the... self-styled "up and coming" wine regions of California. The host sheepishly brought out their most popular wine and explained that it was... polarizing. A chocolate red. I've never seen anyone pour wine apologetically.

I took a taste, looked her in the eyes and left without saying a word.

That was also the trip where, at another winery, I bought a bottle of blueberry flavored "champagne" that was smurf blue smelled like a candy store. I bought it because I planned to serve it at a Star Trek themed dinner party, and because I hate my friends.
posted by danny the boy at 3:01 PM on December 19, 2016 [34 favorites]


To be fair, a decent brandy was specified, rather than a perfectly good one.

If it was a fine brandy, of the Cognac or Armagnac ilk, it would never be mixed with anything. But for coffee, a serviceable American like Paul Masson would be tasty and affordable as well. It is, after all, just a slug in your mug...
posted by jim in austin at 3:06 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


Monospace got there first, but my wife asked for this bailey's/hot cocoa only she specified Land O' Lakes instant cocoa. Which they didn't have at wegmans. Is that really a thing? I mean I know I could google.... anyway, I got Ghirardellis. She seems content.
posted by valkane at 3:09 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


So I just made the recipe. It's not bad. A little gritty with both the cocoa and cinnamon in there, but that's probably just the brands I'm using. The wine and cocoa flavours combine nicely. I didn't have condensed milk so it's probably not as sweet as it's supposed to be, which I think is a good thing. I added a tiny drop of vanilla extract as I usually do when making cocoa and I think it improved things.

All in all, it has a good beat and you can dance to it, I give it an 8.
posted by saturday_morning at 3:28 PM on December 19, 2016 [5 favorites]


Every year some random friend will try a red wine + chocolate pairing. It never works. That coquito, though ... that I want to make asap. Eggnog with cream of coconut sounds like a beautiful partnership.
posted by kanewai at 3:35 PM on December 19, 2016


My hot-chocolate-based libation of choice is a (slightly under-Chartreused) Verte Chaud.

If I could ever find Cherry Heering I might have to up my game to include Brigadiers.
posted by jackbishop at 3:39 PM on December 19, 2016


Sorry, but the Tom and Jerry is the holiday drink of the ages. There is a bar in Buffalo, NY that makes them from the day after Thanksgiving all the way until New Years. It was a nice little holiday stop for me when I lived there.
posted by oflinkey at 3:41 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


The best part of making fudge is cleaning out the pot afterwards. Add in a cup or two of milk, heat until steaming, then add in a generous splash of spiced rum (used to age homemade fruitcake, natch).
posted by steady-state strawberry at 3:53 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


Mixing red wine and chocolate, my what a first-world, Martha-Stewart, nytimes-dining-section, hygge concept. Contra Jacques Torres, the amount of decent chocolate you'd need to feed a small party, most regular people would not be willing to pay. For a fun molecular gastronomist approximation, buy a pack of those liqueur chocolates and nuke em in your microwave. Just kidding, don't try that cause it might seize due to the water content.
posted by polymodus at 3:53 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


There's like a 15-minute window during the day in which I'd be able to drink this, although I'm not exactly sure when it is. Too early in the day and the wine would make me sleepy. Too late and the chocolate would keep me awake. Which I guess is the perfect excuse to continue to enjoy them separately, since this sounds gross to begin with?
posted by mudpuppie at 4:15 PM on December 19, 2016


Too early in the day and the wine would make me sleepy. Too late and the chocolate would keep me awake.

But they'd cancel each other out, right? So you could enjoy it anytime.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:23 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


Recently I discovered if you mix passionfruit soft drink with cheap red wine it is highly effective at disguising the bad qualities of both. Subsequently I regretted doing this and relegated it to the "delicious but highly dangerous" box.

My takeaway has been that you should not make red wine -substantially easier- to drink. Like coffee, the stronger aspects should be retained to keep yourself from going overboard.
posted by solarion at 4:26 PM on December 19, 2016 [8 favorites]


My Basque grandparents and extended family members drink something similar all the time in the winter months. They heat up red wine, not to boiling (all the alcohol evaporates first) and once it's hot they stir in a spoonful or two of sugar and two or three pips of this dry, almost powdery chocolate made in a nearby factory. It's super delicious, and if there's no dessert around after dinner they often crumble leftover bread into it and eat it with a spoon. Makes me warm and woozy just thinking about it.
posted by amelliferae at 4:42 PM on December 19, 2016 [13 favorites]


So you could enjoy it anytime.

like pizza on a bagel
posted by poffin boffin at 4:48 PM on December 19, 2016 [22 favorites]


*blink*

I have been on a hot chocolate kick this winter, I have a nearly-empty bottle of red hanging around which the last roommate left behind, I have a packet of specialty vin chaud spices and I've had a shitty day.

After I eat dinner - cover me, I'm goin' in.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:00 PM on December 19, 2016 [7 favorites]


Every year some random friend will try a red wine + chocolate pairing. It never works.

I'm with kanewai, I've seen articles and heard of this for as long as I've drunk wine, I think it's a secret hoax club. Shell out for a quality Cabernet and some 90% fair trade artisanal chocolate and make one of these for your posh post-hipster holiday shindig. Everyone will fawn about it but a couple true friends will quietly let you know to never ever do it again. But the best is, word will get out and you'll get and email welcoming you to the Secret-Wine-Chocolate-Hoax-Club and you'll get instructions to blog or write an article to trick some other cool dupe to have a party next year that makes their friends suffer.
posted by sammyo at 5:15 PM on December 19, 2016 [7 favorites]


Perfect wine and chocolate pairing: $5 red blend and Andes mints. Or Junior Mints. Try it just once. Seriously.

Nice wine and nice chocolate just fight with each other.
posted by monopas at 5:27 PM on December 19, 2016 [5 favorites]



That was also the trip where, at another winery, I bought a bottle of blueberry flavored "champagne" that was smurf blue smelled like a candy store. I bought it because I planned to serve it at a Star Trek themed dinner party, and because I hate my friends.


Sounds like it'd go great with smurf gelato.
posted by romakimmy at 5:41 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm starting to think that there's a contingent of chefs, restaurant owners, and whatevers who want to see how much we'll torture our palates in order to feel 'hip.'
posted by jonmc at 5:58 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


I was at a tasting room in one of the... self-styled "up and coming" wine regions of California. The host sheepishly brought out their most popular wine and explained that it was... polarizing. A chocolate red. I've never seen anyone pour wine apologetically.

I took a taste, looked her in the eyes and left without saying a word.


You are Niles Crane and I claim my five pounds!
posted by comealongpole at 6:17 PM on December 19, 2016 [17 favorites]


I've had Glühwein fixings in the cupboard for two years now, but no ambition to dig out the crock pot for taking it to whatever gathering I'm going to.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:18 PM on December 19, 2016


(Love both those anecdotes danny the boy)
posted by comealongpole at 6:18 PM on December 19, 2016


I mean… I've made cupcakes with dark chocolate and red wine, and the flavors went very well together, in a manner similar to yet different from how adding some freshly ground black pepper and other warming spices to chocolate is delicious.
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:19 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


Pepperidge farms milano cookies dipped in red wine … a nice rich red, like a zinfandel or fruity pinot. You won't be sorry.

Wow, did this make me think of my dad.
posted by Songdog at 6:28 PM on December 19, 2016


Also, this thread is now an Off-Broadway play. It's called Warm and Woozy, and I'm playing poffin boffin.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:41 PM on December 19, 2016 [7 favorites]


but have you tried hummus champagne
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:55 PM on December 19, 2016 [11 favorites]


My wife just did this on a whim with a bottle of Oregonian red and some hot chocolate from Cacao, a couple weekends ago before we drove around to look at Christmas lights. I thought she was a little nuts, but she swore it was amazing and she's been telling everybody about it. I'm genuinely surprised (and also not very, because internet) to discover that this is A Thing.
posted by Maaik at 6:56 PM on December 19, 2016


In short, people are weird.
posted by crush-onastick at 6:57 PM on December 19, 2016


NYT loves these sorts of things. "Have y'all heard of this mundane drink combination that's sweeping America by storm?!" What's next, an article about urban hipsters putting orange juice into their 40's? 🙄
posted by gucci mane at 7:00 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm back!

A fuller report here. But in short - it's not bad! I really only taste the chocolate (I'm using good chocolate and shit wine), so it just tastes like hot chocolate made with a good-quality chocolate that has a slightly more pronounced fruity undertone.

....That, and since I'm sipping it at a faster clip than I do wine, I'm starting to get buzzed.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:15 PM on December 19, 2016 [7 favorites]


My wife just did this on a whim with a bottle of Oregonian red and some hot chocolate from Cacao

Why the everloving fuck would she do that to hot chocolate from Cacao. Your wife is a monster.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 7:18 PM on December 19, 2016


Oh wait different Cacao, the Oregon red threw me off. I was thinking of this one.

Never mind, I don't know from that Atlanta Cacao.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 7:22 PM on December 19, 2016


this was just an excuse for the universe to get me drunk on a monday night wasn't it
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:25 PM on December 19, 2016 [11 favorites]


but have you tried hummus champagne

I have the odd feeling that this could actually happen
posted by clockzero at 7:27 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


Everclear and Quik.
posted by RobotHero at 7:38 PM on December 19, 2016 [9 favorites]


finished the cup, and definitely buzzed.

Even though the recipe I used had only TWO TABLESPOONS of wine in it. Holy fuck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:47 PM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]


yes, but it's a monday in 2016 so i feel like you're justified
posted by dogheart at 8:01 PM on December 19, 2016 [5 favorites]


my wife asked for this bailey's/hot cocoa only she specified Land O' Lakes instant cocoa. Which they didn't have at wegmans. Is that really a thing?

Land O' Lakes instant cocoa is the best of the cheap instant cocoas that don't need to be made with milk. It's got milk powder or whatever in it, but not so much that it sets off my lactose intolerance, and even made with water it comes out pretty creamy. It's one of my favorites for boozing up purposes. If you like your hot cocoa less sweet, Trader Joes' instant hot cocoa mix is where it's at.

Also, gonna be honest, it feels weird and a little tragic to be spiking Swiss Miss. Going but one rung above on the instant hot cocoa ladder somehow makes all the difference. Anyway, time for some amaretto in my hot chocolate now I guess
posted by yasaman at 8:03 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


this was just an excuse for the universe to get me drunk on a monday night wasn't it

I had a shot of vodka and then a hot toddy. My excuse is *gestures broadly at everything*.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:07 PM on December 19, 2016 [12 favorites]


Why the everloving fuck would she do that to hot chocolate from Cacao. Your wife is a monster.


Jesus Christ, y'all.
posted by Maaik at 8:08 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


When I read this earlier today I was very intrigued by the concept, and set out to make it tonight. Turns out I'm short like ... all the ingredients ... so I substituted rum in for the wine, and ice in for the chocolate and everything else. It's delicious, so I call this recipe a success. A total keeper. I'm gonna have to make some for my next holiday party.
posted by komara at 8:11 PM on December 19, 2016 [6 favorites]


There's this weird dichotomy to it, isn't there? Like, you're taking one of the most innocent and "Kids-stuff" beverages out there, and through a really simple means you're making it actually quite potent.

At least with me, the effectis that you get very unquestionably drunk, and fast, but the wildest thing you do during your buzz is you play online RISK a little more recklessly than usual. This ain't a gone-wild party drink, but it's pleasant.

And it IS indeed tasty.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:17 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


I substituted Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA for the wine and licked warm, fresh fudge off of a wooden spoon. A+++ Would slurp again.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:20 PM on December 19, 2016


this was just an excuse for the universe to get me drunk on a monday night wasn't it

so who needs an excuse.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:22 PM on December 19, 2016


(I'm using good chocolate and shit wine)

"Good Chocolate and Shit Wine." I think we have our Act II opening chorus, people.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:12 PM on December 19, 2016 [7 favorites]


(Tay Zonday voice)
Chocolate wine/Some say “monstrous,” others think it’s fine
Chocolate wine/Martha Stewart adds the scent of pine
Chocolate wine/Childhood and adult bev’rage align
Chocolate wine/To the booze this goddamn year consign (/Tay Zonday voice)

(If you really want to up your game, try chocolate port instead. It's good stuff.)
posted by ilana at 9:42 PM on December 19, 2016 [8 favorites]


Why the everloving fuck would she do that to hot chocolate from Cacao.

lol i love when people in food threads try to out-food eachother it is adorable. like has anyone actually tried this so far or are we just hate-jerkin' over how much it prob sucks . like red wine and chocolate is already a pretty classic combo so having serious trouble understanding what makes this such an abomination
posted by windbox at 9:50 PM on December 19, 2016 [6 favorites]


Add me to the list of people that have now tried it and declare it delicious. Not something to add to your regular boozing repertoire, but it's be cool party trick after dinner in a cabin in a ski resort with friends. Or in a thermos when enduring a sleigh ride with the kids.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:03 PM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]


So I just tried to do this twice, and both times the introduction of wine caused my chocolate to seize up into something like a fine grained cottage cheese which, no matter how nice it smells, is too revolting to actually drink. Any ideas why this might happen?
posted by factory123 at 10:08 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


Either your wine is too acidic or you are using low fat milk.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:18 PM on December 19, 2016


Whole milk, so I guess it's the wine.
posted by factory123 at 10:24 PM on December 19, 2016


Slightly tangential but ... are there really people who don't love/like/at least can appreciate pairing a sinfully dark chocolate with a glass of a jammy full-bodied Zinfandel? This is one of life's greatest pleasures! Guess you learn something new every day.
posted by hapax_legomenon at 10:25 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


That was also the trip where, at another winery, I bought a bottle of blueberry flavored "champagne" that was smurf blue smelled like a candy store. I bought it because I planned to serve it at a Star Trek themed dinner party, and because I hate my friends.

I bet it was just Faygo "blue flavor" with a touch of everclear.
posted by boilermonster at 10:38 PM on December 19, 2016


Antifreeze and basil pesto is the hot new thing in the benzenedream household.
posted by benzenedream at 11:28 PM on December 19, 2016 [5 favorites]


Throw in some peanut butter and I'm good.
posted by Literaryhero at 12:07 AM on December 20, 2016


like has anyone actually tried this so far or are we just hate-jerkin' over how much it prob sucks

*blink* You realize you posted your comment after two people had weighed in after having actually tried it and said they liked it, yeah?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:45 AM on December 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


It reminds me of the cocktails I used to make from whatever the kids left around + random booze left in the liquor cabinet. My best creation was the "Reese's Pieces"-- make a paste of peanut butter and Frangelico, mix in a shot of kahlua, add to chocolate soy milk. Flavored Coffeemate creamer plus Bailey's poured over ice from the sno-cone maker is also surprisingly great.
posted by selfmedicating at 4:49 AM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've had red wine and Coke, a beverage I was served at a party hosted by some European transplants. It wasn't too bad, with ice.

But thus far, have resisted the chocolate wines. Have seen this recipe floating around the internet, and I lean toward the brandy or whisky in coffee or hot chocolate. Been known to make a toddy once in a while.

Not saying I would never try this, but doesn't really appeal to me at all. Put me in the straight up or mulled camp. Guess I am old :-P
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:14 AM on December 20, 2016


both times the introduction of wine caused my chocolate to seize up into something like a fine grained cottage cheese

eh, chocolate will seize if you look at it funny. Higher fat content could help, maybe use half n half.
posted by Diablevert at 6:48 AM on December 20, 2016


I'm allergic to chocolate. If I used white chocolate instead, what would I use in place of red wine? I mean, white wine doesn't have the same taste.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 6:51 AM on December 20, 2016


I thought the thing to do with hot chocolate was to spike it with peppermint schnapps? I suspect that these recipes will result in hot chocolate that gives you a buzz the way the choco-wine in the markets is YooHoo that gives you a buzz. Nothing inherently wrong with that.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:56 AM on December 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Drink this in the winter, and Coca Cola and red wine in the summer. It's called a Kalimotxo/Calimocho and the teens of Spain will accept your gratitude at a time and place of your convenience.
posted by turntraitor at 7:38 AM on December 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


80 Cats, I would use white chocolate to fat-wash a brown liquor of your choosing. Or in the spirit of the original exercise just dump a slug of bourbon into a white hot chocolate.

I think I would be on board with the red wine cocoa situation on the strength of a chocolate port that some Minnesota winery made for a while, WHICH NO, I KNOW, I am not suggesting you should put Minnesota wines in your face generally! But this particular one made nice cocktails.

The winter drinks my internet friends are losing their minds over currently, though, are Christmas pudding vodka and the Smitten Kitchen recipe for Irish cream.
posted by clavicle at 8:12 AM on December 20, 2016


It reminds me of the cocktails I used to make from whatever the kids left around + random booze left in the liquor cabinet. My best creation was the "Reese's Pieces"-- make a paste of peanut butter and Frangelico, mix in a shot of kahlua, add to chocolate soy milk. Flavored Coffeemate creamer plus Bailey's poured over ice from the sno-cone maker is also surprisingly great.

posted by selfmedicating
Eponysterical. As you know.
posted by Songdog at 9:31 AM on December 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Here's a Swedish recipe for you all. Take a bottle of vodka. Take a couple of candy canes. Pour the vodka and put the candy canes into a PET bottle (crush the candy canes first). Put the PET bottle in your dishwasher and run the dishwasher (pots and pans setting). When the cycle is complete - ta-da!, great Christmas shots for everyone.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 11:48 AM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm guessing you'd want to seal the bottle before putting it in the dishwasher.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:28 PM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


On a more serious note: would the candy can pieces naturally melt in the alcohol if they were just left in it for a couple days, or a week?
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:30 PM on December 20, 2016


Answered my own question - this and umpteen other recipes found by a quick Google search indicate that candy canes do indeed dissolve in vodka, given a day or two. So the dishwasher trick just accelerates the process if you're in a hurry/didn't plan ahead.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:17 PM on December 20, 2016


Why do that to a perfectly good brandy?

Because while there are perfectly good Armagnacs and Cognacs, there is no such thing as good (non-apple) brandy. Sorry. But it's true. Brandy is a scourge on the fine, barrel-aged liquor name and I will not have it continued on my watch. For a price of a fifth of Hennessey, you can get a bottle or two of decent drinks instead.

To bring it back around, my hot mulled drink of choice is a good local apple brandy (there are a lot of them all over the US currently due to the local distilling fad, look around, guaranteed you'll find a solid one for less than $20 a fifth), with a few choice spices (clove, nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla) and floated orange slices. Johnny Appleseed would approve.

In other polarizing opinon news: chocolate and mint do not go together. You can disagree with me but I find no reason to put sharp and spicy together with thick and creamy. It's zero sum. Stop It. You're ruining two prefectly good things. I'll still allow smoked chilies and chocolate because of the shared dark notes, but mint+chocolate shall always be an also-ran in my book.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 6:20 PM on December 20, 2016


but York Peppermint Patties though
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:09 PM on December 20, 2016


but York Peppermint Patties though

Sorry don't care. You can offer me your Thin Mints and Andes and other holiday favorites as well, but I'm not playing your game. They just don't work on my tongue and it's obvious I am not getting what other people are getting so I think you are all wrong and should feel bad for being wrong.

Feel free to let this one pointless opinon color your perception of my other opinions as you wish.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 7:38 PM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


You can offer me your Thin Mints and Andes and other holiday favorites as well, but I'm not playing your game.

You say that as if I was inclined to share in the first place.

Feel free to let this one pointless opinion color your perception of my other opinions as you wish.

Nahh, I already hated you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get the sensation.

(I'm kidding, you're totally entitled to your own food preferences and they don't bother me at all. I just enjoy going for the joke.)
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:08 PM on December 20, 2016


They just don't work on my tongue and it's obvious I am not getting what other people are getting...

A'ight, tha's cool....

...so I think you are all wrong and should feel bad for being wrong.

....tha's not cool.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:58 AM on December 21, 2016


"....tha's not cool."

I choose to disagree. I think it's both cool and amusing.
posted by komara at 9:18 AM on December 21, 2016


It was clearly hyperbolic and also appears to be a reference to a Futurama joke.

Nobody's actually attacking anybody else; people are riffing on a shared joke. Pour yourself a nice mug of red wine hot chocolate and join the fun.
posted by Lexica at 10:05 AM on December 21, 2016


....tha's not cool.

Actually all mint products are scientifically & objectively 'cool' as are ranch-flavored tortilla chips
posted by beerperson at 2:14 PM on December 21, 2016


And make sure to have some salmon with your dishwasher cocktails.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:59 PM on December 21, 2016


....tha's not cool.

To be clear, I am totally fine with anyone enjoying themselves in any way they to choose to, as long as it's done safely, and I hope they'll be just as fine with me being snarky and totally tongue in cheek on the Internet.

Besides, we all know candy corn is the one true candy abomination.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 4:56 PM on December 21, 2016


Nah, circus peanuts>Mary Janes>necco wafers>Candy corn, abomination wise
posted by Diablevert at 9:10 PM on December 21, 2016


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