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January 13, 2017 2:53 PM   Subscribe

Looking over Johnny Wallflower's posting history, his anti-cat agenda is becoming blatantly obvious.
posted by hippybear at 3:10 PM on January 13, 2017 [26 favorites]

I can't stress enough the awesomeness of those cat pics. I laughed aloud at the cat who apparently pushed the picture off the table in order to lie comfortably where it once stood. God if that pic does not sum up cats I don't know what does. I am endlessly enamored by these glorious creatures who give all of zero fucks. Goddamn they're just marvelous. A+++++
posted by bologna on wry at 3:20 PM on January 13, 2017 [14 favorites]

I am currently cat sitting for a few weeks, I have never had a cat, as far as I can tell the answer to anything I question in her behaviour is always the same:

posted by Cosine at 3:44 PM on January 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

Cats, #18. Somewhere, a mic has been dropped.

And a cat is probably responsible.
posted by datawrangler at 4:07 PM on January 13, 2017

his anti-cat agenda is becoming blatantly obvious

Fair And Balancedâ„¢
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:09 PM on January 13, 2017 [12 favorites]

It is a common refrain around our household that the reason our cat does anything is "BECAUSE I'M A CAAAAATTTTTTT".

Little furry agents of chaos, every one.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 4:11 PM on January 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

My analysis has led me to conclude that I would much rather be a cat than a dog.

Dogs worry too much. Cats don't give a fuck.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:08 PM on January 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

Somewhere, a mic has been dropped.

More likely *some*one* knocked it off a shelf. Then under the couch.
posted by bonehead at 6:10 PM on January 13, 2017 [4 favorites]

My cat is affectionate, appreciative, and well behaved. But there was that one time...

We returned home from vacation to find one of the upstairs windows cracked. The glass was still in place and nothing was missing so we figured maybe some kids were throwing rocks or something. When our contractor came by to take a look he pointed out the tell tale signs that the window had been struck with a blunt object from inside the house. My wife and I looked at each other, then at our cat's favorite perch next to window. Simultaneously, we then looked out the window at the tree just outside and noticed the new family of starlings that had built their nest tantalizingly at about eye level just 2 feet away.

She never owned up to it, but we know the truth.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:25 PM on January 13, 2017 [12 favorites]

I have lived with an evil cat, now sadly departed, but the evil-est genius-est cat I have ever known currently lives next door to me.

He's a big poofball and a bruiser, and he sits outside the sliding glass patio door and taunts my two cats. It's fine, and even cute, when there's a pane of glass between them. It's not so fine when I hear some yowling and wander into the room to find...

...the next door cat... my house...

...because he knows how to open the freaking door...

...and can do so at will.

That is not so fine.
posted by mudpuppie at 7:03 PM on January 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

...and can do so at will.

telecatnesis. We've all witnessed it in some form or other.
posted by hippybear at 7:18 PM on January 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

Cat 1 had to go to the vet to have teeth out. Cat 2 has decided she is now a scary monster. Last night Cat 2 lay in my bed but when I got in, relocated herself to the other side of me so I was between her and the door. Apparently when cat 1 comes to murder us, I'll get eaten first. Cat 2 never, ever sits on that side of the bed. For that matter, she doesn't sleep with me in hot weather or when the fan is on full blast. She's seen me consorting with the enemy and is determined to make me Her Human.

Poor cat 1 is an absolute darling and is coping with her sister's histrionics with calm dignity.

Since they are not talking they are not chasing and my house is eerily calm.

Re: family photo cat, I do wonder about kitty's feelings towards that particular family member. Maybe kitty feels she usurped her place and is returning the favour.
posted by kitten magic at 12:02 AM on January 14, 2017

Clicked the first link and got a shitstorm of redirects and popups on Safari iOS.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 12:19 AM on January 14, 2017

Did not happen to me on iOS/Safari

Interesting to me that while the dog ones are OK, the cat ones are hilarious.
Does that say something about my judgement, about cats & dogs, or about the folks who post the pictures?
Might be a good science fair project.
posted by MtDewd at 4:54 AM on January 14, 2017

Our dog is so like the dog pics. She's such a *good girl* (except when she pees on our bed because she's annoyed with us. Then she's the hound from hell.

On the other hand I've been owned by several cats and currently have a delightfully evil cat.
Back when my sweet cat was still alive I was having a relaxing bath and sweet cat was sitting on the edge of the tub. The lights were dim and the shower curtains were closed - it was very peaceful. Peaceful until evil cat stood up on her hind legs and from outside the tub shoved sweet cat, through the shower curtain, into the bath. Chaos ensued. Once my now soaked cat had leaped out if the tub and I had recovered from the "WTF? Claws? Splashing? Omg" moment, I looked over the edge of the tub and there was evil cat stretched out on the bath mat utterly calm and contented.
posted by biggreenplant at 5:09 AM on January 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

Did not happen to me on iOS/Safari

Doesn't seem to happen every time. Or maybe I accidentally clicked on an ad or something on that page.

Either way, it looks like you shouldn't be linking to ""
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 10:40 AM on January 14, 2017

Is anyone else having trouble with and iOS Safari? I turned off 1Blocker and had no problems.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:52 PM on January 14, 2017

It was fine for me Johnny.
posted by kitten magic at 7:10 PM on January 14, 2017

17. All that's left is that look, the "so what?" look.

That is clearly a cat perch at window level that had been previously mistaken for dumb plants that don'


posted by krinklyfig at 4:38 AM on January 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

It gets me when that knows they've done wrong, and don't care. I've got one that knows precisely when I get up and will sit outside the door waiting and dash in when I open the door. But every once in a while decides it's time for choir practice pre-awakening ("Meow! MEOW! MeeeeeaaaaaaaoooooowwwwWW!"). Still sits outside the door, but bolts the other way as soon as the door opens. I can hear her laughing "can't catch me" all through the house. Bitch.
posted by kjs3 at 11:42 AM on January 17, 2017

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