Nugs, Ranked
January 17, 2017 10:13 AM   Subscribe

Ryan Sutton at EATER asks the hard question: What are the best fast food chain chicken nuggets?
posted by The Whelk (123 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
Worth it all for this line: So handsomely blonde, it’s as if you’re eating a golden lab.
posted by mittens at 10:26 AM on January 17, 2017 [24 favorites]


The only thing you've ever cared about in your life is nugs, chilling, and grindage.
posted by Beardman at 10:27 AM on January 17, 2017 [15 favorites]


I don't think anything but childhood associations can make someone think that McNuggets taste good. And I'm not a food snob, I think Wendy's are very good, though not as good as Popeyes or Chickfilet, which were ranked slightly lower.

Where are his other reviews?
posted by skewed at 10:28 AM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


If Grant Achatz or Heston Blumenthal were to grind entire chickens to a paste, reconstitute them through science to resemble actual meat, then fry them in artisanal beef tallow, y'all would be lauding them as goddamn magicians with an ability to evoke the days of your youth. Especially if they made half of each batch kinda vaguely resemble dark meat in the shape of boots.
posted by GamblingBlues at 10:30 AM on January 17, 2017 [47 favorites]


It is a limited set, but within that set, he's pretty spot on.

Sometimes you are on a trip and you're starving and the only food is either airport fast food or small town on the highway fast food.

If I'm in that situation, I try to order the thing that is hard to mess up. Anything involving chicken and deep frying is timeable to the second. Hell, give it another fifteen seconds or so. Fish as well, but be careful ordering fried fish, sometimes you get the whole fish. Sure, it's fried, but it's looking at me.
posted by Sphinx at 10:30 AM on January 17, 2017 [5 favorites]


For taste, I prefer Chick-Fil-a or Wendy's. For a marketing campaign, though.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:31 AM on January 17, 2017


1. Pure Honey (McDonald's): There's nothing better to cut through the saltiness of a nugget.

This.
posted by spilon at 10:38 AM on January 17, 2017 [9 favorites]


but are they shaped like dinosaurs?
posted by supermedusa at 10:38 AM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Really? How is this even close? Chick-Fil-A* or go home. Nothing beats their glorious MSG nuggets. Is it salty? is it sweet? It's both!


*🏳️‍🌈
posted by leotrotsky at 10:43 AM on January 17, 2017 [10 favorites]


i am MORALLY APPALLED that popeye's ranks so low on this list and am currently plotting my revenge
posted by beerperson at 10:44 AM on January 17, 2017 [17 favorites]


White Castle's Chicken Rings are much better then burger king's chicken fries, which I'm not convinced contain much if any actual chicken.

I've also found that KFC makes the worst chicken (in general) for a chicken-based place. I assume they use the worst quality chicken they can get away with.

I agree that Wendy's has the best nuggets which are only rivaled by very fresh, just fried hot McNuggets. Wendy's can sit for 15-30 minutes and are fine in both taste and texture. McNuggets get soggy if you let them sit for too long.

Wendy's also doesn't need sauce, where as McNuggets require McBBQ sauce.
posted by INFJ at 10:46 AM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


I'd have to go with chick-fil-a nuggets myself. McDonald's went through a long period of time where they were truly terrible, but I think they've improved the quality recently, although I still avoid them. I'll eat the Wendy's ones, but for them to be ranked over a chick-fil-a nugget is just wrong. The consistency level for wendy's just isn't there either.
posted by piper28 at 10:46 AM on January 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


I would do unspeakable things if I were offered the power to eat as many Chick-n-Minis as I wanted with no dietary repercussions.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:48 AM on January 17, 2017 [9 favorites]


McDonald's went through a long period of time where they were truly terrible, but I think they've improved the quality recently, although I still avoid them.

Yeah, I too am forever scarred by a childhood gristle McNugget.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:48 AM on January 17, 2017 [8 favorites]


KFC Popcorn Nuggets: [...] Calories: 620. Fat: 39g. Sodium: 1,820g

I don't care if that's a typo, they taste like they contain two kilograms of salt.
posted by Eleven at 10:50 AM on January 17, 2017 [13 favorites]


I would do unspeakable things if I were offered the power to eat as many Chick-n-Minis as I wanted with no dietary repercussions.

Lil' Biiiits!
posted by leotrotsky at 10:50 AM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'll give him this, it's the first time I've ever seen a wine pairing for chicken nuggets, although highly illegal in practice thinking about where I've been sitting for the vast majority of my adult nugget consumption.
posted by Copronymus at 10:51 AM on January 17, 2017


I've also found that KFC makes the worst chicken (in general) for a chicken-based place. I assume they use the worst quality chicken they can get away with.

Colonel Sanders actually agreed with you. Do yourself a favor and visit Claudia Sanders Dinner House.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:53 AM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


I have never dipped a McNugget in anything. They're to be taken neat.
posted by anazgnos at 10:55 AM on January 17, 2017 [10 favorites]


Doesn't Arby's make pretty good chicken nuggets? Or do those fall under the rubric of chicken fingers?

The best fried-chicken-ball product is the popcorn chicken my college cafeteria used to server. Like Wendy's, they had a spicy and a regular option. The spicy popcorn chicken with hot mustard intended for the Chinese food (yes, that's random) was amazing. RIP Buckeye Express.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:56 AM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


I've found that both Wendy's and McDonald's nuggets leave an oily scum taste that even lemonade or coke can't cut.

Slightly off subject, Chick-Fil-A's "Grilled Nuggets" are peak car chicken, but they really should serve them with a Nathans red fry fork.
posted by Marky at 10:59 AM on January 17, 2017


Is there a nug left in all of Thedas?
posted by fricto at 11:00 AM on January 17, 2017 [9 favorites]


Popeye's, please.

Except explain: at the moment I order, I'm looking at huge, visibly recently replenished baskets of everything they do to chicken, right there in plain view, directly behind the counter. It's at arm's length, just grab some of those and put them in the box. But no. They give me an order number and I go find a seat until they call it, like 10 minutes later. It's not even busy here right now. WHY CAN'T I HAVE SOME OF THE STEAMING HOT FRIED GOODNESS IMMEDIATELY. It's the loozeeanna fast thing, maybe.

Also McDonald's discontinued chicken tenders were the best thing on the menu. I want to give them my money but can't.
posted by Caxton1476 at 11:00 AM on January 17, 2017 [7 favorites]


I LOVED the McD's "premium chicken tenders", Caxton1476. I'm with you there. I don't get the appeal of a McNugget.
posted by misskaz at 11:03 AM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


The best fried-chicken-ball product is the popcorn chicken my college cafeteria used to serve

Oh god, yes. On popcorn chicken days in the dining hall, I would put two plates on my tray and fill both of them with popcorn chicken, then get a soup bowl full of honey mustard from the salad bar. That lunch had to be at least 2,000 kcal, but shit yes it was worth it.

I actually remember the last time I had a chicken nugget. It was before a wedding in the summer of 2012. We were staying at a hotel next door to a McDonald's and walked over to get something to eat when we had a couple hours to kill. There was some kind of a sale on, so it made sense to get two four-piece McNuggets, which I did. I ate six of them, left the rest on the desk in the hotel room for six hours, and finished them when I came back with a belly full of beer at midnight.

It wasn't the greatest decision.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:05 AM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


It's hard to trust the aesthetic advice of anyone who writes in a style this repulsive.
posted by painquale at 11:08 AM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


Popeye's, please.

Except explain: at the moment I order, I'm looking at huge, visibly recently replenished baskets of everything they do to chicken, right there in plain view, directly behind the counter.


Popeyes food is tops among fast food imho, but their ability to get that food to you is lacking. Maybe has something to do with the quality of their food, but that may be a charitable assumption.
posted by skewed at 11:14 AM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Who makes this guy qualified, I think, storming into the article.

I’ll take a chicken nugget any day over a chicken tender.

Okay, I'll allow it. May not agree exactly with his end results but I feel he has the qualifications.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:15 AM on January 17, 2017


The fact that this thread isn't full of people yelling at the author about disregarding sweet & sour sauce and proclaiming it the intuitively obvious best dipping sauce is, like, a some-people-wipe-standing-up-level revelation to me.
posted by penduluum at 11:16 AM on January 17, 2017 [21 favorites]


All right, I'll be the one to say it: McNuggets 4Eva. I used to go down to the McDonalds on the corner and scarf down nuggalos with my back to the window so none of my bougie coworkers would spot me if they walked by, until they tore the McDonalds down to build a luxury apartment building. This is basically a metaphor for my life.
posted by sunset in snow country at 11:19 AM on January 17, 2017 [19 favorites]


i am MORALLY APPALLED that popeye's ranks so low on this list and am currently plotting my revenge

I concur, however if I'm in Popeye's I'm getting a 2 pc. spicy with a side of red beans and rice, not nuggets or tenders.
posted by mikelieman at 11:19 AM on January 17, 2017 [6 favorites]


Sutton's food writing (and twitter presence) are generally enjoyable to me, even if I don't agree with him on everything. I appreciate that he includes and analyzes a ton of cost-related data.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 11:21 AM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Popeye's, please.

Except explain: at the moment I order, I'm looking at huge, visibly recently replenished baskets of everything they do to chicken, right there in plain view, directly behind the counter.


When I worked at Popeye's, the reason why it was slow was because people would just call in these huge 50 - 100 piece orders, and it would take us time to fry that much chicken. While it was going, they might appear in the baskets, but then they'd quickly be taken back into the to go boxes where they were waiting. Other orders would be done in the middle of the 50-100 piece order.

That might be a regional thing, and that definitely was not the best run Popeyes ever, so YMMV. But people use Popeyes and KFC for cheap catering the way you wouldn't use McDonalds.
posted by dinty_moore at 11:22 AM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


I feel like this could be a subset of a General Tso's chicken discussion. Chicken nuggets with sauce and some rice on the side. And Eater sounds like a sub-species of zombie, you know, you got your walkers, your spitters and your Eaters.
posted by Bee'sWing at 11:23 AM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Also Leilana would like a word with all of you.
posted by dinty_moore at 11:23 AM on January 17, 2017 [5 favorites]


The day I went to a Burger King in an airport for my yearly injection of their yummy breaded chicken tenders to find they had been replaced with McDonalds-like chicken nugget abominations is the day I started calling them traitors every time I passed one. It was a real pity, they had the best sweet and sour sauce too. Chicken fries are not sufficient, there's too much dry breading and not enough squishy meat sponge between them.
posted by foxfirefey at 11:26 AM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


General Tso's chicken discussion. Chicken nuggets with sauce and some rice on the side

What's that you say?
posted by uncleozzy at 11:26 AM on January 17, 2017 [5 favorites]


here's some sideye for all y'all who didn't assume this post was about Dragon Age
posted by radicalawyer at 11:30 AM on January 17, 2017 [8 favorites]


Years ago, my kids preschool had an end of year party that included what can best be described as a card table sized pile of chick fil a nuggets. As the party went on, there appeared to be no bottom to the pile.

I always try to conduct myself with some measure of dignity when it comes to such things, but a man has his limits.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 11:31 AM on January 17, 2017 [18 favorites]


I thought it was going to be about pot but I'm happy to read about chicken nuggets.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:32 AM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


Also surprised to see Chik-Fil-A mentioned without the word boycott nearby. Is this not a thing anymore? I discovered theres one not too far from me but haven't gone yet even though I'm very intrigued by the dedication to the place.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:37 AM on January 17, 2017 [7 favorites]


And yet Leong’s Asian Diner in Springfield, MO continues to produce the Pt:Ir standard of chicken nuggets: Springfield-style cashew chicken
posted by scruss at 11:37 AM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


As they make the best fast-food (spicy!) chicken sandwich out there, I'm not surprised Wendy's won the nugget war.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:37 AM on January 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


Be careful ordering fried fish, sometimes you get the whole fish. Sure, it's fried, but it's looking at me.

There are probably eyeballs in your shaped chicken products too, but you'd never know because it's all been smashed to a pulp.
posted by mattamatic at 11:47 AM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


42 comments in here, and not one mention of Wendy's, the purported winner of the franchise wars. Good riddance, I say. McD's + spicy mustard sauce FOR LIFE

(On preview: OK, but it took 43 comments to find even a single defender of Wendy's nuggets. A pox on their house for discontinuing the Four Alarm Chicken Sandwich)
posted by Mayor West at 11:47 AM on January 17, 2017


I have a nugget story!*

I obtained my bachelor’s degree from a small, Christian college in rural Ohio. We didn't have frats, crazy parties, or beer-pong tournies. We did, however, have the Chicken McNugget Club, a weekly meeting where those dedicated to the finest fried chicken delicacy would gather each Sunday to eat twenty McDonald's Chicken McNugget's for a mere three dollars and ninety-nine cents. At best our ranks swelled to twelve young lads (gender exclusion was not by choice, let it be noted). We had to provide advance notice to our local McDonald's to ensure an ample nugget supply upon our arrival. The McSecretary General was charged to make the call and carried out his duties with aplomb. It was all Very Serious.

Initiates had to eat only twenty nuggets to gain entry to the CMcNC. We did this for several months, all of which culminated in a trip to Canada to experience Canadian chicken McNuggets which must surely be more delicious/polite than their brethren to the south. It was in the northern wastes where I had my encounter with Fate.

Besides the aforementioned McSecretary General there were other officers within the group. Those who, enlivened with bravado and hot mustard, had eaten forty McNuggets and proven their dedication the most anyone had eaten between our inception and our trip to Canada. Brash young Turk I was I decided in Canada I would make my stand. I would eat sixty.

Reader, I did eat sixty nuggets. I wish I could recall the ordeal with more detail but I have no recollection of how it played out. I only remember pondering lethargically that 'Windsor was Canada's Detroit,' and trying to decide if I was eating chicken or sea sponge (circa nugget thirty seven). My comrades in fried debauchery assure me it was chicken McNugget. I'll never be certain.

Ten McDonald's Chicken McNuggets are good. They are wholesome and they are delicious. But sixty McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets will make you question. Not whether or not there is a God. But you will surely know there is a divine being. But you will wonder exactly why God hates you so very much to allow such self-inflicted misery.

*and in the correct thread this time!
posted by Tevin at 11:48 AM on January 17, 2017 [49 favorites]


here's some sideye for all y'all who didn't assume this post was about Dragon Age

But we know who has the top spot there.
posted by rewil at 11:49 AM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


Mayor West, I am pretty sure I applauded the Wendy's win..
posted by INFJ at 11:51 AM on January 17, 2017


I've only had McDonald's nuggets once since childhood when I crave them coming off an illness of a few days (maybe the flu). It was like my body needed some weird chemical to complete its recovery and knew it could get it from the nuggets.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 11:52 AM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


Well, that's some writing, right there. Kind of the Whimsical-Industrial Content Complex. pretty sure he's never eaten an MRE - nothing deep-fried in any MRE, but maybe they're working on it.
posted by theora55 at 11:58 AM on January 17, 2017


Were this article to cover the UK, the rankings would clearly be topped by the Hen Cabin (NSFW)
posted by GeorgeBickham at 11:58 AM on January 17, 2017


I guess this is not quite as impressive as 60, but in 2015, McDonalds locations in my Japanese prefecture of ancestral origin and JET program participation offered a 48-nugget tub as a promotion for a girl pop group. It... kind of... makes sense... but not really. (NGT48 is the Niigata version of AKB48, the 48-girl pop group, but apparently NGT48 only has 25 members? Never mind, this makes no sense.)
posted by sunset in snow country at 12:01 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


To be fair, AKB48 has over a hundred members nowadays.

The last time I had McNuggets I hadn't had them in awhile and picked up a 20pc on sale. It was tough, and I don't think I finished. It was actually my favorite feature, the fried crispness of the batter, which would prove my undoing. At six pieces it's not apparent, but at 20 the fried-ness takes over because the processed chicken actually has very little chicken taste in itself.

I've been looking for a reason to try Popeyes, maybe I'll take some advice and move on from my ruined nostalgia.
posted by rhizome at 12:09 PM on January 17, 2017


McDonalds must be pretty darn good if you're gonna pull a gun on someone for them.
posted by blaneyphoto at 12:12 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


fine fried nugs direct from orzammar
posted by poffin boffin at 12:13 PM on January 17, 2017 [7 favorites]


Also surprised to see Chik-Fil-A mentioned without the word boycott nearby. Is this not a thing anymore? I discovered theres one not too far from me but haven't gone yet even though I'm very intrigued by the dedication to the place.

Depending on who you ask, it either succeeded or failed. But it appears that, for the most part, the company and its foundation have stopped funding anti-gay organizations [HuffPo link].
posted by Rock Steady at 12:19 PM on January 17, 2017 [5 favorites]


My supermarket sells breaded chicken nuggets with cheese inside. Get on the stick fast food folk.
posted by jonmc at 12:19 PM on January 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


I was not a fan of fried chicken + cheese until someone fed me a Wendy's homestyle chicken sandwich with cheese on it one day.

I refuse to order it any other way, now.
posted by INFJ at 12:27 PM on January 17, 2017


Chicken McNuggets as metaphor.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 12:29 PM on January 17, 2017


I thought it was going to be about pot but I'm happy to read about chicken nuggets.

Same. "Nugs" has only one meaning in my dialect.

Also how high do you have to get to eat chicken McNuggets as an adult, and why did my iOS phone know to capitalize "McNuggets?"
posted by spitbull at 12:31 PM on January 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


I was not a fan of fried chicken + cheese until someone fed me a Wendy's homestyle chicken sandwich with cheese on it one day.

I've always been partial to the Monterrey Chicken Ranch, myself.
posted by jonmc at 12:32 PM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


The only good chicken nugget is a dead chicken nugget.

Luckily, most of them meet this standard.
posted by gurple at 12:40 PM on January 17, 2017


All ethics can be discarded in the bin just before the window. We promise we recycle them.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 12:40 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I too am forever scarred by a childhood gristle McNugget.

My people.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:44 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


as if you’re eating a golden lab.

Golden RETRIEVER, yellow LAB. There is no such thing as a golden lab. I must know which the author means before I can decide on the validity of this opinion as they taste quite different....
posted by biscotti at 12:46 PM on January 17, 2017 [11 favorites]


god damn it i want fried mechanically recovered chicken slurry RIGHT NOW
posted by murphy slaw at 12:52 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


My family has a 40 McNugget Challenge. 7 minutes or less. Record is 6:43. No puking for the same amount of time it took to get them down.
posted by AugustWest at 12:56 PM on January 17, 2017 [5 favorites]


My kingdom (and several paychecks) to whichever fast food restaurant starts carrying May Wah nuggets, which are not only surprisingly palatable to omnivores, but refreshingly gristle-free.
posted by amnesia and magnets at 12:56 PM on January 17, 2017


I'm not certain what business KFC has on this list in the first place, as """"everyone knows"""" that they haven't sold ""real"" ""chicken"" in years*. Presumably they use the "meat" of Animal 57 produced by their sister company, Taco Bell.
posted by bonehead at 12:58 PM on January 17, 2017


Quorn fake chicken nuggets are best nuggets. Accept no substitutes.
posted by soren_lorensen at 1:02 PM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


Mayor West: "42 comments in here, and not one mention of Wendy's, the purported winner of the franchise wars. Good riddance, I say. McD's + spicy mustard sauce FOR LIFE

(On preview: OK, but it took 43 comments to find even a single defender of Wendy's nuggets. A pox on their house for discontinuing the Four Alarm Chicken Sandwich)
"

Sorry, but I don't go to Wendy's to nug. I go to Wendy's to chili and baconate. They still have the best fast food pure burger experience, IMO.
posted by Samizdata at 1:03 PM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


I haven't eaten at Wendy's since I read about this boycott. Wish they'd hurry up and stop being awful so I can go back; they're the only fast food place within a two-block walk from my workplace. And I like their nuggets.
posted by asperity at 1:18 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


The Golden lab is here. It used to be in Indochina and you'd get a pipe and a bed but no nugget, just a dumpling or something that was almost a dumpling but they didn't start calling them dumpling nuggets cause that would have pissed off the Nuuget gang. And you wouldn't like the broth anyway.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 1:25 PM on January 17, 2017


Burger King does have awful nuggets. Listen: I don't have much of an income right now, but even though Burger King is currently selling those terrible sad lumps of quasi-chicken at $1.50 for ten pretty much indefinitely, McDonalds' still beats them easily. McDonlds recently made a big deal in their advertising that they improved the McNuggets, and they do seem to be pretty good at the moment. (BTW, my favorite sauce is Hot Mustard, so NYAAH.)
posted by JHarris at 1:27 PM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


Ten McDonald's Chicken McNuggets are good. They are wholesome and they are delicious. But sixty McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets will make you question. Not whether or not there is a God. But you will surely know there is a divine being. But you will wonder exactly why God hates you so very much to allow such self-inflicted misery.

I am reminded of the fabled interview with Wing Bowl runner-up Jon "Super" Squibb, who ate 271 chicken wings in 30 minutes and still got blown out by Kobayashi. One of the reporters asked him, paraphrasing from memory, "After eating 271 chicken wings, what will your shit be like?"

"Are you asking me that?" "I'm asking you that." "*sigh* About what you'd expect after eating 271 chicken wings."
posted by delfin at 1:29 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


wait, do competitive eaters not immediately induce vomiting once the competition is over? is there some kind of heinous draconian rule that they must subject themselves to the entire digestive process?
posted by poffin boffin at 1:33 PM on January 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


But it appears that, for the most part, the company and its foundation have stopped funding anti-gay organizations

This is good news because I am planning to be in that area in a few days.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:37 PM on January 17, 2017


Metafilter: Sure, it's fried, but it's looking at me.
posted by randomkeystrike at 1:38 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


I usually find Sutton's reviews to be unbearably pretentious (and the restaurants he usually goes to are so expensive it makes me want to cry) so I appreciated this chance to revise my opinion. Mmm, chicken nuggets.
posted by ferret branca at 1:38 PM on January 17, 2017


Sometimes when I see my kid on yet another fast-food jaunt I consider saying something and then remember all the times my folks held their opinions while I left home on another teenage errand to buy McNuggets with every type of sauce (before they charged for more than one).
posted by docpops at 1:43 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


This thread prompted me to look for a reasonably close Wendy's and I discovered that the Arbys that is in reasonable walking distance is now a Wendy's! Looks like I'll be also be eating a bunch of nugs this week.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:45 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


But which one's the pengest munch?
posted by quarsan at 1:49 PM on January 17, 2017 [6 favorites]


Rather a fan of Whataburger's Whatachick'n, strips or bites, and CREAM GRAVY...
posted by jim in austin at 2:04 PM on January 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


grinds nugs, packs a bowl, inhales

"Hello, 911? I've made a terrible mistake."
posted by OverlappingElvis at 2:35 PM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


grinds nugs, packs a bowl, inhales

This reminds me of something really dumb I did back in the early 80's in high school with a U. S. Bong and a froot loop.
posted by mikelieman at 2:38 PM on January 17, 2017


So does Raising Canes not qualify?
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:42 PM on January 17, 2017


There is no such thing as a golden lab.
They have bred Golden Labs. I don't know if they should have, but they did. I know someone who owns one and it seems like a great, healthy dog.
posted by soelo at 2:50 PM on January 17, 2017


Secret Fun Fact From The Frozen North: McDonald's BBQ sauce is entirely different in Canada and to my preference it's much much better than the BBQ sauce in the States
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 3:02 PM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


Adding the above-fact to my list of tiny things I'm going to be obsessed with until I can taste it for myself.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:18 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


I really like Quorn nuggets. They taste exactly like McDonald's nuggets to me.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:19 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: I don't go to Wendy's to nug
posted by murphy slaw at 4:09 PM on January 17, 2017


oh my god quorn is so good, i want spaghety and quornballs now. Q U O R N
posted by poffin boffin at 5:02 PM on January 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


It's pretty crazy to me that McDonald's is so much more popular than Wendy's, when Wendy's food is far and away better (even BK beats them?! Jesus). Their spicy chicken sandwich is incredible. The nuggets and burgers are great, too. And don't even get me started on their Sweet and Sour sauce. My god.
posted by blackzinfandel at 5:05 PM on January 17, 2017


So how many Good Boy Points does each cost? I still haven't done any chores this week!
posted by Mr. Fig at 5:27 PM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


I like Wendy's because you can get a baked potato and chili and really what else does a person need in this wild wicked world
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 5:54 PM on January 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


Wendy's for sure, unless I'm pregnant. Then only McNuggets will do.

Mmmmmm. Now I want a junior bacon cheeseburger and a frosty. And fries. I moved and don't know where Wendy's is now.
posted by apricot at 6:50 PM on January 17, 2017


If this was native advertising, then it worked, because I'm getting Wendy's nuggets tomorrow.
posted by codacorolla at 7:00 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


oh my god quorn is so good, i want spaghety and quornballs now. Q U O R N

Here in Oz (and I'm sure, everywhere) they recently came out with two-packs of "Quarter Pound Burgers" which are LEGIT AS FUCK. Quorn is basically a layer of egg albumen away from being a perfect food for me. I wish they would make hot dogs!
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:14 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Wow, a list on the internets that I don't disagree with. Caveat; Canadian fast food chains have slightly different formulations than their American brethren (when they exist at all). McDonald's Canada has been waging a PR campaign for the last few years about how their nuggets are made from 100% "white meat." Bleaching counts, right? The leftover parts of industrial chicken used for mechanical separation contains no "dark meat" designated bits, anyway.

Wendy nuggets are more environmentally stable; they're still good for (much) longer after being taken out of the frier. I like the batter on McNugs better, but it either gets brittle or soggy (depending on climate) if not consumed directly.

Similarly; onion rings: I find that battered is almost always more enjoyable than 'breaded' no matter how small the bread particles. Wendy nuggets are a bit of a hybrid.

I *do* agree with the author's premise that a nugget - a processed food product - is somehow a more pure distillate of a food type than a chicken tender. Kind of like the idea of Soylent green or krill crackers; the logical maximization of natural agricultural resources to provide maximum nutrition and palatability at a minimum of cost.

That said, I am completely blown away by the chicken tenders at Fatburger (Canada). Hole-ee-sheet, those area good.

Textured Soy Protein/Quorn nuggets can indeed be super duper yummy!

But, yes, McDonald's liquid honey and fresh chicken McNuggets* are about as close to a Platonic ideal as anything in this world can achieve.

*I feel uncomfortable ordering Starbucks using their size naming conventions, and I feel weird ordering something saying McWhatever.
posted by porpoise at 7:25 PM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


"Parts is parts!"
posted by fuse theorem at 7:53 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


100 Comments, no mention of Doughboys? I believe this would make for an excellent reader write in question, if it hasn't been asked already.
posted by kittensofthenight at 8:05 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


kittensofthenight: "100 Comments, no mention of Doughboys? I believe this would make for an excellent reader write in question, if it hasn't been asked already."

How could I when I have never heard of them before? (I was expecting a restaurant link when I clicked that.)
posted by Samizdata at 8:25 PM on January 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


this thread feels like such a Twilight Zone/Black Mirror episode about proud, self-gratified consumption

I am weirded out by y'all
posted by runt at 8:51 PM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


As somebody who loves chicken nuggets, all these damn boycotts are interfering with my conscience on eating good chicken. I've refused to try Chik-Fil-A because of bigotry, but I do wonder.

Though to be honest, I thought McNuggets were some of the least impressive. I mean, you can eat them, but I'd rank them a lot lower on the list. Wendy's are pretty good though. And I actually do like popcorn chicken. The crispier the nugget is, the happier I am, really.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:54 PM on January 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


Nugget Man, inventor of the chicken nugget.
posted by eye of newt at 9:11 PM on January 17, 2017


I_Love_Bananas, I think what they serve at Cane's are classified as tenders, not nuggets.

Also, it's all about the freshness and the sauce there, right? Because while I love that the chicken is hot and fresh, I'm afraid of most condiments so I don't eat the sauce but they're not flavorful enough to eat on their own.
posted by Night_owl at 9:43 PM on January 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


As a UK resident, I'm glad we have access too at least the second best nuggets. It was more than I was expecting.

My only chicken fry story - in uni, a friend worked for a second-tier chicken chain local to the south west of England. One of the first things he learned was that their product was divided into to levels - "day chicken", which was of sufficient quality to be served to sober people in daylight, and "night chicken", that which would suffice for drunk people under the cover of darkness.

I wish I could say that I did not eat there again after learning this information.
posted by ominous_paws at 3:23 AM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]


If Grant Achatz or Heston Blumenthal were to grind entire chickens to a paste, reconstitute them through science to resemble actual meat, then fry them in artisanal beef tallow, y'all would be lauding them as goddamn magicians with an ability to evoke the days of your youth. Especially if they made half of each batch kinda vaguely resemble dark meat in the shape of boots.

If Grant Achatz made chicken nuggets they would have at least 8 times the amount of salt a fast food place uses. I've eaten at two of restaurants and each time I have gained more than a pound despite eating less than 3500 extra calories. That guy uses more salt than a saboteur competitor on The Biggest Loser sneaks into their 'friends' diet the night before a weigh-in. The fried chicken at Roister is delicious though.
posted by srboisvert at 4:53 AM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'm still astonished that nobody's putting up a stink about the omission of McD's "BBQ" on the sauce menu. The McDonald's "BBQ" sauce has been genetically crafted to perfectly accommodate the salty zone of magic created by the nugget. They are two freakish manthings created exactly for one another, and easily my top nug + sauce combo.
posted by Tevin at 6:48 AM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]


this thread feels like such a Twilight Zone/Black Mirror episode about proud, self-gratified consumption

we have nothing else left but the inevitable icy embrace of the grave
posted by poffin boffin at 6:53 AM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]


and the satisfactory mouthfeel of the nug
posted by Tevin at 7:24 AM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]


Oh my god. I went to Target. I went to Trader Joe's. But I forgot to get the nugs.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:03 AM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]


Jamie Oliver makes chicken nuggets by hand, from scratch for children. Children not impressed. (sorry, couldn't find a higher resolution version handily)
posted by porpoise at 11:08 AM on January 18, 2017


it is pretty hard to impress children without defaulting to the loud and comical expulsion of bodily gases
posted by poffin boffin at 2:32 PM on January 18, 2017


I had Wendy's nuggets today. They were indeed quite tasty. My stomach and waist now want me to eat less fast food, and my reptile brain wants more.
posted by codacorolla at 2:42 PM on January 18, 2017


we have nothing else left but the inevitable icy embrace of the grave

every living creature on earth dies alone

-donnie darko
posted by runt at 9:30 PM on January 18, 2017


it is pretty hard to impress children without defaulting to the loud and comical expulsion of bodily gases

Speak for yourself, I once showed a small child how to make a simple Excel pivot table and she was blown away
posted by beerperson at 5:49 AM on January 19, 2017 [3 favorites]


It's all about presentation Jamie
posted by beerperson at 5:50 AM on January 19, 2017 [2 favorites]


A local BK had "Get Nuggy With It" on their marquee sign for a couple of months a while back, during some chicken nugget promotion they were doing. I could never decide if that phrase was awful or genius (or both), but it rarely failed to make me laugh. It did not, however, convince me to stop and buy their chicken nuggets, because they are terrible. I grew up in Atlanta on Chick-fil-a nuggets, and they remain the best, despite their parent company's sins.
posted by ashirys at 8:04 AM on January 19, 2017 [2 favorites]


Reader, this post and ensuing discussion caused this vegetarian to obtain and eat some McDonalds Chicken McNuggets.

They were delicious. No regrets.
posted by Fig at 11:03 AM on January 20, 2017 [4 favorites]


I just thought of that Jack in the Box commercial with the skater dude at the food convention offering his tasting review for like $10K per nugget. "I only need one."
posted by rhizome at 11:02 PM on January 20, 2017


beerperson: "it is pretty hard to impress children without defaulting to the loud and comical expulsion of bodily gases

Speak for yourself, I once showed a small child how to make a simple Excel pivot table and she was blown away
"

Got a while for a Skype session?
posted by Samizdata at 12:01 PM on January 23, 2017


Oh, my droogies. This thread had given me the sweet-sweet hunger for Mickey Dees extruded chicken product, a hunger I had not known for many a great year when indeed twenty did not seem too much. Yet, when forced into such an establishment yesterday I went with the cheeseburgers. I did manage to finish off the daughter's castoffs and was kind of sad to find them not as I remembered. They seemed noticeably flimsier -- thinner with bad implications -- than I recalled. The crust is one of those things about that entree that was always variable but it seemed a little not the same too, like flakier and less doughy. Its been many years but I trust my memory more than companies looking to economize.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 9:08 AM on January 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


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