Poetic taxidermy
January 31, 2017 9:24 AM Subscribe
A stone marten, killed by the Large Hadron Collider, will go on display in a Rotterdam museum's Dead Animal Tales exhibit. “We want to show that no matter what we do to the environment, to the natural world, the impact of nature will always be there,” Moeliker said. “We try to put a magnifying glass on some fine examples. This poor creature literally collided with the largest machine in the world, where physicists collide particles every day. It’s poetic, in my opinion, what happened there.”
In 1995, a male duck flew into the glass facade of the museum and died on impact, a fate that did not deter another male duck from raping the corpse for 75 minutes.Dude.
Can you imagine the conversation that lead up to this revelation?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:27 AM on January 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
CW: ducks being ducks
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:27 AM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:27 AM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
In 1995, a male duck flew into the glass facade of the museum and died on impact, a fate that did not deter another male duck from raping the corpse for 75 minutes.
Thank you! I'm off to turn this into a metaphor for Trump's America on Facebook!
posted by Naberius at 9:48 AM on January 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
Thank you! I'm off to turn this into a metaphor for Trump's America on Facebook!
posted by Naberius at 9:48 AM on January 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
So maybe the duck story is a bit... less poetic.
posted by cubby at 9:50 AM on January 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by cubby at 9:50 AM on January 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
When I die in a horrible industrial accident, I want to be stuffed and put in a museum, too.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 9:51 AM on January 31, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by I-Write-Essays at 9:51 AM on January 31, 2017 [11 favorites]
Some squirrel in my neighbourhood committed suicide unintentionally when it was going across a electrical residential distribution line and went to chew on the line above it. So the poor thing got somewhere from a hundred to a few thousand volts. Which caused its jaw to clamp around the upper wire before it died.
And it's been hanging there, drying into squirrel leather, for nearly a year.
posted by GuyZero at 9:52 AM on January 31, 2017 [14 favorites]
And it's been hanging there, drying into squirrel leather, for nearly a year.
posted by GuyZero at 9:52 AM on January 31, 2017 [14 favorites]
When I die in a horrible industrial accident, I want to be stuffed and put in a museum, too.
Maybe you'll just get an upsetting Canadian WSIB ad instead.
posted by GuyZero at 9:53 AM on January 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
Maybe you'll just get an upsetting Canadian WSIB ad instead.
posted by GuyZero at 9:53 AM on January 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
Woa.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 9:55 AM on January 31, 2017
posted by I-Write-Essays at 9:55 AM on January 31, 2017
is this the new election thread
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:02 AM on January 31, 2017 [17 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:02 AM on January 31, 2017 [17 favorites]
In a parallel universe, the stone martin...
...has developed super powers and now fights crime.
posted by PlusDistance at 10:17 AM on January 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
...has developed super powers and now fights crime.
posted by PlusDistance at 10:17 AM on January 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
has the large hadron collider destroyed the world yet?
posted by janey47 at 10:21 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by janey47 at 10:21 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
is this the new election thread
I don't know about you, but I'm voting for the duck. Duck/Marten 2020: We've run (into) bigger things!
posted by nubs at 10:25 AM on January 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
I don't know about you, but I'm voting for the duck. Duck/Marten 2020: We've run (into) bigger things!
posted by nubs at 10:25 AM on January 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
has the large hadron collider destroyed the world yet?
I got "Yes." Should I be concerned?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:34 AM on January 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
I got "Yes." Should I be concerned?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:34 AM on January 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
The stone marten is the latest dead animal to go on display at the museum. It joins a sparrow that was shot after it sabotaged a world record attempt by knocking over 23,000 dominoes...
OK, I need to know more about this one. Did someone on the team that set up the 23,000 dominoes happen to be packing heat and shoot the thing in a fit of blind rage? That would be my best guess. In any case, you'd have to be a damn good shot to nail a sparrow in flight.
posted by kozad at 10:35 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
OK, I need to know more about this one. Did someone on the team that set up the 23,000 dominoes happen to be packing heat and shoot the thing in a fit of blind rage? That would be my best guess. In any case, you'd have to be a damn good shot to nail a sparrow in flight.
posted by kozad at 10:35 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
It joins a sparrow that was shot after it sabotaged a world record attempt by knocking over 23,000 dominoes; a hedgehog that got fatally stuck in a McDonalds McFlurry pot, and a catfish that fell victim to a group of men in the Netherlands who developed a tradition for drinking vast amounts of beer and swallowing fish from their aquarium
Yeah, I'm beginning to think this article has really buried the lede here. I'm far more interested in all these other stories than the stone martin who wanted to experiment with high voltage.
posted by nubs at 10:46 AM on January 31, 2017 [5 favorites]
Yeah, I'm beginning to think this article has really buried the lede here. I'm far more interested in all these other stories than the stone martin who wanted to experiment with high voltage.
posted by nubs at 10:46 AM on January 31, 2017 [5 favorites]
I kinda want to know more about the domino-trolling sparrow, too. But I also want to know less about the hedgehog stuck in a MacDonald's McFlurry machine.
posted by janell at 10:47 AM on January 31, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by janell at 10:47 AM on January 31, 2017 [5 favorites]
Well, I've never had a McFlurry and I don't really ever want one now. (More like McSlurry, am I right?)
I would like an interview with the Dutchman who swallowed the armored catfish, however.
posted by nubs at 10:50 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
I would like an interview with the Dutchman who swallowed the armored catfish, however.
posted by nubs at 10:50 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
The McFlurry machine stalled, twice; on tiptoes, I found
A hedgehog jammed up against the blades,
Killed. It had been in the ice cream.
I had seen it before, and even fed it, once.
Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world
Unmendably. Burial was no help:
Next morning I got up and it did not.
The first day after a death, the new absence
Is always the same; we should be careful
Of each other, we should be kind
While there is still time.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 11:05 AM on January 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
A hedgehog jammed up against the blades,
Killed. It had been in the ice cream.
I had seen it before, and even fed it, once.
Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world
Unmendably. Burial was no help:
Next morning I got up and it did not.
The first day after a death, the new absence
Is always the same; we should be careful
Of each other, we should be kind
While there is still time.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 11:05 AM on January 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
I'll need a 'no sparrows were harmed' label on all future dominoes videos, I'm afraid.
Some squirrel in my neighbourhood committed suicide unintentionally when it was going across a electrical residential distribution line and went to chew on the line above it.
Squirrels are mildly notorious for chewing through the electrical grounds of houses, and I've wondered what the deal could be between them and electricity for a long time, but never come up with much.
I mean they live in the crotches of trees, and trees get hit by lightning, right? Which wouldn't be that great for the squirrel, I'd think. And I've noticed that the ground underneath trees where squirrels live is often littered with chewed-off leafy twigs -- could squirrels be sensing which branches of trees tend to develop an electrical charge during storms and chewing the tips of those branches down, thereby sculpting their trees to be less likely to be hit by lightning? Pretty far-fetched, even for me.
posted by jamjam at 11:13 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
Some squirrel in my neighbourhood committed suicide unintentionally when it was going across a electrical residential distribution line and went to chew on the line above it.
Squirrels are mildly notorious for chewing through the electrical grounds of houses, and I've wondered what the deal could be between them and electricity for a long time, but never come up with much.
I mean they live in the crotches of trees, and trees get hit by lightning, right? Which wouldn't be that great for the squirrel, I'd think. And I've noticed that the ground underneath trees where squirrels live is often littered with chewed-off leafy twigs -- could squirrels be sensing which branches of trees tend to develop an electrical charge during storms and chewing the tips of those branches down, thereby sculpting their trees to be less likely to be hit by lightning? Pretty far-fetched, even for me.
posted by jamjam at 11:13 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
so much depends
upon
a dead hedge
hog
stuck in the
McFlurry pot
near the health
inspector
posted by nubs at 11:15 AM on January 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
upon
a dead hedge
hog
stuck in the
McFlurry pot
near the health
inspector
posted by nubs at 11:15 AM on January 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
The duck story, previously on metafilter.
posted by Ms. Next at 11:18 AM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Ms. Next at 11:18 AM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
And more on the story of that sparrow, on Wikipedia.
posted by Ms. Next at 11:19 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Ms. Next at 11:19 AM on January 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
In a parallel universe, the stone martin is still alive.
While in this universe, it immobilized 124 cars before karma caught up with it.
posted by effbot at 11:34 AM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
While in this universe, it immobilized 124 cars before karma caught up with it.
posted by effbot at 11:34 AM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
has the large hadron collider destroyed the world yet?
No.
But it's working on it.
One critter at a time.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:11 PM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
No.
But it's working on it.
One critter at a time.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:11 PM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
The "McFlurry pot" the hedgehog got trapped in was a cup with a unidirectional hedgehog lid. Apparently it was a large enough problem to McChange it so people could continue to litter and fail to secure their trash in an unfettered manner. Unfortunate photos just a google search away.
The exhibit looks kind of small which is too bad because you could make several museums worth of "but for the hand of man" exhibits. This exhibit made me think our local attractions golden eagles who have bad run-ins with the wind farm and fish sucked into extinction to support the southland's water requirements.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:46 PM on January 31, 2017
The exhibit looks kind of small which is too bad because you could make several museums worth of "but for the hand of man" exhibits. This exhibit made me think our local attractions golden eagles who have bad run-ins with the wind farm and fish sucked into extinction to support the southland's water requirements.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:46 PM on January 31, 2017
Maybe you'll just get an upsetting Canadian WSIB ad instead
Holy shit.
posted by brennen at 12:46 PM on January 31, 2017
Holy shit.
posted by brennen at 12:46 PM on January 31, 2017
As a tangent there was a post like 10 years ago when those WSIB ads came out. If you've never seen them and can stomach some grizzly on-screen injuries definitely check them out.
posted by GuyZero at 1:10 PM on January 31, 2017
posted by GuyZero at 1:10 PM on January 31, 2017
The full list of all these is here and after re-watching them I have to say: a dead stone marten - that's no accident.
posted by GuyZero at 1:13 PM on January 31, 2017
posted by GuyZero at 1:13 PM on January 31, 2017
If the Southern Forest World Museum ever closes, this is where they should send Stuckie
posted by TedW at 7:42 AM on February 1, 2017
posted by TedW at 7:42 AM on February 1, 2017
As a tangent there was a post like 10 years ago when those WSIB ads came out. If you've never seen them and can stomach some grizzly on-screen injuries definitely check them out.
posted by GuyZero at 4:10 PM on January 31
Either that's a typo or Canadian workplaces are closer to the stereotype than I had ever imagined.
posted by ZaphodB at 8:41 PM on February 1, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by GuyZero at 4:10 PM on January 31
Either that's a typo or Canadian workplaces are closer to the stereotype than I had ever imagined.
posted by ZaphodB at 8:41 PM on February 1, 2017 [1 favorite]
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