Every Jason Statham Punch. Ever [Up to and including Furious 7] SLYT 4m

February 9, 2017 6:25 AM

Every jason Statham Punch. Ever [Up to and including Furious 7], for 4min 26 seconds Pretty much 4 minutes straight of Messieur Statham enthusiastically punching people *

Featured Film list: In order of Appearance:

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels , Turn It Up, John Carpenter's: Ghosts Of Mars, The One, Mean Machine, The Transporter, Cellular, Transporter 2, Chaos, Crank, In The Name Of The King, War, The Bank Job, Death Race, Transporter 3, Crank 2: High Voltage, The Expendables, The Mechanic, Gnomeo and Juliet, Killer Elite, Safe, The Expendables 2, Parker, Redemption, Homefront, Wild Card, Furious 7.

Perhaps you prefer to see the balletic Mr Statham kicking things instead? Here is a 7 min 37 supercut of that.

Created by burgerfiction a Youtube channel dedicated to frenetic supercuts.

Sadly there is (as of writing) no supercut of Master Statham specifically throat punching people, but perhaps there will be in the future.

If you like Jason Statham, here are some previous Metafilter appearances of his specific talents:

• Time to Punch - a list of timestamps of how long it takes for someone to be punched in a Statham movie
• Some enthusiastic (pre action star career) dancing
• A considered discussion and deconstruction of Statham's filmography up to Crank 2 High Voltage (warning auto-playing embedded video file)

*Note: Mild gore involving a helicopter tail propellor featured for a few seconds at about the 3 min and 6 second mark.

Enjoy

posted by Faintdreams (23 comments total)

My favorite Jason Statham moment is from Furious 7 (which I otherwise didn't really enjoy) when they bust into his secret lair and he's just sitting there, enjoying a home-cooked meal, all annoyed that they're interrupting him.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:35 AM on February 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

I really like jason statham. I know he's a face puncher type guy, but i feel like he actually does a solid job of acting and makes the movies he's in better/different because he's in them.

Related note: i like daniel craig as bond, but i think statham would've (might still) do a great job with it too.
posted by chasles at 6:41 AM on February 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

Jason Statham competing in the 1990 Commonwealth Games, notable unfortunately only for the grin he gives at the 2 second mark.

Also, hair
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:42 AM on February 9, 2017 [7 favorites]

That Commonwealth video is pretty impressive. I had no idea he was a competitive athlete before becoming an actor. That does kind explain his work ethic though.
posted by Faintdreams at 6:47 AM on February 9, 2017 [3 favorites]

Jason Statham Double Punch would make a good name for a Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor.
posted by valkane at 6:53 AM on February 9, 2017 [5 favorites]

You know, I am a fan of WILTY, and I also just rewatched Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels maybe a week ago. Without this FPP, I really never would have connected that Rob Brydon was the first person punched onscreen by the Stat. Huh.

This is like being the swimming instructor who taught three-year-old Michael Phelps, or the guy who showed Jimi Hendrix his first C major chord.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:53 AM on February 9, 2017 [4 favorites]

Mr Statham is more like the guy who showed Hendrix his first E7#9, at least in terms of facepunching.
posted by Mocata at 7:15 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

I really love Jason Statham. His movies are almost always fun (even if bad), and his truly good movies are often good precisely because he does a better job with so-so material than anyone has any right to expect.

He's the perfect gruff / charming / soft-hearted sorta-maybe-hero.
posted by tocts at 7:23 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

I never had feels about Statham one way or the other until seeing him in Spy. He is very good at mocking himself. I find that a very appealing trait. The outtake scene after the end credits, where he and Melissa McCarthy are in bed and she warns him, "Don't do that thing with your thumb again...." and he cracks up and says incredulously, "She said it!!" is adorable. Swoon.
posted by the webmistress at 7:57 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

Jason Statham is one of my favorite actors. I haven't liked him in the Expendables movies though because it seems pretty clear he only does them for whatever they have to pay him to try to grab a younger more female audience. I wish they would dump all the old guys and just him and Antonio Banderas take over the series.
posted by fuse theorem at 8:00 AM on February 9, 2017

On the soon-to-be-sunsetted IMDB message boards there is a criticism of one of Mr. Statham's performances because "he didn't even kick anyone in the head". I will really miss those boards.
posted by Operation Afterglow at 8:00 AM on February 9, 2017 [6 favorites]

Punching. Is there anything it can't do?
posted by 1adam12 at 8:05 AM on February 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

Statham might be my favourite kick-puncher since Schwarzenegger at his 80s prime. Even if the script is bad or ridiculous, they make them as fun (beyond boom-boom fun) as it possibly can. I mean, I've watched all three Transporter films. Sure, they weren't good, but were still fun.
posted by lmfsilva at 8:30 AM on February 9, 2017

Mr Statham is more like the guy who showed Hendrix his first E7#9, at least in terms of facepunching.

I meant from Brydon's POV. The punch Statham delivers is kind of clumsy and unremarkable and show no hint of his future as an action star. It is no more memorable than if Nick Moran or Jason Fleming had punched Brydon's traffic warden.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:34 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

The Transporter was on tv at a friend's place the other night...as long as he was driving and/or kicking and/or punching people it was fun. When he wasn't, there were too many scenes like the one where he offers the woman tied up in the trunk of his car a drink of juice...from a straw in a bottle...held by him at waist level...at a certain angle...while the soundtrack abruptly switches from suspenseful to sexxxy porn music.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:56 AM on February 9, 2017

I feel like there was a missed opportunity to edit in Nazis on the receiving end of all those punches.
posted by schadenfrau at 9:17 AM on February 9, 2017 [5 favorites]

My favorite pre-action Statham: as many colors of some kind of human electron: Run to the Sun
posted by radagast at 9:24 AM on February 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

That's not an atom, its the solar system! He would have to be a super sized electron!
posted by biffa at 9:42 AM on February 9, 2017

I prefer to think of this as a clip from his upcoming movie, "129 Minutes of Jason Statham Punching People".
posted by senor biggles at 9:49 AM on February 9, 2017

During some show I was bingewatching last year, this Statham spot was the only ad shown--I probably saw it 60 times over a couple weeks, and somehow it never stopped being charming to me. It's like a Statham supercut without any actual punching. Warning: barbed earworm within, watch me now, watch me now
posted by miles per flower at 10:03 AM on February 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

Yeah, The Transporter is not so great in the non-action scenes, but on the action side it did give us this awesome and out of the blue oil fight scene.
posted by tocts at 10:19 AM on February 9, 2017 [3 favorites]

Why am I still waiting for the gritty Kickpuncher reboot, when it's obvious who the new lead should be?
posted by blue_beetle at 11:16 AM on February 9, 2017

I love that this exists for all the admirers who associate him with debonair violence.
posted by Borborygmus at 1:46 PM on February 9, 2017 [2 favorites]