To the quick!
February 13, 2017 12:15 PM Subscribe
The first nail clippers weren't patented until the late 19th century, so how did people trim their nails before that? Nail care was important in many ancient cultures. In the Iron Age, nail files were a critical feature of the Viking grooming toolkit, important because the Gods would sail on a ship made of dead men's nails to Ragnarok. There was also a lot of attention paid to nail care in ancient Egypt, Rome Greece, and China (take a look at this Egyptian spa painting). Elaborate nail customs persist, including very specific Jewish traditions about the order in which nails are cut, and in traditional nursery rhymes. Whatever you do, apparently you shouldn't bite or pick them.
Don't ever clip your nails on the bus, or anywhere else that's not a bathroom.
posted by pxe2000 at 12:24 PM on February 13, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by pxe2000 at 12:24 PM on February 13, 2017 [6 favorites]
Got these off of Amazon. The best toenail clipper I've ever used.
posted by Splunge at 12:27 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Splunge at 12:27 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
My back-of-the-mind excuse for nailbiting is that it's grooming behavior I'm evolutionarily allowed to perform, because why else do humans have delectable bitey targets on the ends of our grasping tools? Why else do the joints in my elbows and hands and fingers make it so easy for me to just bite that last little bit of cuticle off because ugh it's really rough and catching on my garments? See also: nose picking.
posted by theraflu at 12:28 PM on February 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by theraflu at 12:28 PM on February 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
I have weak fingernails that peel easily or break. I look at women with nice nails with envy. I am an occasional nailbiter but I really try not to be.
posted by Kitteh at 12:30 PM on February 13, 2017
posted by Kitteh at 12:30 PM on February 13, 2017
I should mention that I was surprised by how deep the rabbit hole of Jewish nail customs were when researching this post.
Not only do you have to cut them in a particular order on particular days (with the obvious centuries of debate about which days in which order, plus mnemonic devices to help you remember), but careless nail clippings left around were supposed to lead to miscarriages. One explanation for this is there is a tradition that Adam and Eve were originally covered all over by nail, and that the same fall from grace that made childbirth painful took away that covering. As a result, walking over nails while pregnant could draw the attention of avenging angels.
posted by blahblahblah at 12:30 PM on February 13, 2017 [7 favorites]
Not only do you have to cut them in a particular order on particular days (with the obvious centuries of debate about which days in which order, plus mnemonic devices to help you remember), but careless nail clippings left around were supposed to lead to miscarriages. One explanation for this is there is a tradition that Adam and Eve were originally covered all over by nail, and that the same fall from grace that made childbirth painful took away that covering. As a result, walking over nails while pregnant could draw the attention of avenging angels.
posted by blahblahblah at 12:30 PM on February 13, 2017 [7 favorites]
The nail clippers didn't make any sense to me when I was a kid, so I took to biting them as a trimming method. Whenever a nail gets too long, I trim it with my teeth.
I have been working on developing new habits because I've developed well-defined worn-away spots in those front teeth.
Plus now I'm pretty clear on how one uses nail clippers.
posted by aniola at 12:37 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
I have been working on developing new habits because I've developed well-defined worn-away spots in those front teeth.
Plus now I'm pretty clear on how one uses nail clippers.
posted by aniola at 12:37 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
there was a span of time that I did manual labor and avoided wearing gloves, as you might expect I rarely needed to clip my nails
posted by idiopath at 12:38 PM on February 13, 2017
posted by idiopath at 12:38 PM on February 13, 2017
One explanation for this is there is a tradition that Adam and Eve were originally covered all over by nail, and that the same fall from grace that made childbirth painful took away that covering.
This is an incredibly weird origin story in a sea of weird human origin stories.
posted by deludingmyself at 12:47 PM on February 13, 2017 [29 favorites]
This is an incredibly weird origin story in a sea of weird human origin stories.
posted by deludingmyself at 12:47 PM on February 13, 2017 [29 favorites]
ITT: everyone is fucking disgusting
posted by beerperson at 12:53 PM on February 13, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by beerperson at 12:53 PM on February 13, 2017 [12 favorites]
This is an incredibly weird origin story in a sea of weird human origin stories.
Yeah the only thing I can really imagine is some sort of bipedal dragon looking creature.
Not quite where I expected this thread to go?
posted by tivalasvegas at 12:55 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
Yeah the only thing I can really imagine is some sort of bipedal dragon looking creature.
Not quite where I expected this thread to go?
posted by tivalasvegas at 12:55 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
I had a roommate in grad school whose spouse lived in Germany, and they would mail each other their nail clippings. To eat.
posted by goatdog at 12:57 PM on February 13, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by goatdog at 12:57 PM on February 13, 2017 [9 favorites]
Wirecutter recommends the Mehaz 660 Clipper, and they're not wrong.
posted by zamboni at 1:01 PM on February 13, 2017
posted by zamboni at 1:01 PM on February 13, 2017
Those really do look like great clippers, Splunge -- they seem to rely on a scissors-like cutting motion in which the edges go past each other rather than meeting in the middle of the nail (which has never worked for me).
I have heavy, hard nails hand and foot, and can only cut my toenails at all after a long bath, and even then it's often a bloody mess because of the way my nail beds tend to grow up in the middle along with the nails themselves.
posted by jamjam at 1:11 PM on February 13, 2017
I have heavy, hard nails hand and foot, and can only cut my toenails at all after a long bath, and even then it's often a bloody mess because of the way my nail beds tend to grow up in the middle along with the nails themselves.
posted by jamjam at 1:11 PM on February 13, 2017
Another day I am filled with adoration for the denizens of MetaFilter.
posted by Sophie1 at 1:20 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Sophie1 at 1:20 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Clippers? Pah. Nail scissors are the only way to go.
posted by fimbulvetr at 1:25 PM on February 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by fimbulvetr at 1:25 PM on February 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
One other valid location: in your office WITH THE DOOR CLOSED. All violators will be shot.
posted by radicalawyer at 1:58 PM on February 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by radicalawyer at 1:58 PM on February 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
The mehaz didn't work well for me. I much prefer the Muji
The skin under my nails grows out further along the nails than it seems on most others, so my fingernails always look to others to need clipping. They frequently extend past the tips of my fingers. I go through socks pretty quick, because it's true down there, too. How I've envied the other kids in class for having fingers where the nails just sat there, all retracted on the tops of the digits.
posted by rebent at 2:04 PM on February 13, 2017
The skin under my nails grows out further along the nails than it seems on most others, so my fingernails always look to others to need clipping. They frequently extend past the tips of my fingers. I go through socks pretty quick, because it's true down there, too. How I've envied the other kids in class for having fingers where the nails just sat there, all retracted on the tops of the digits.
posted by rebent at 2:04 PM on February 13, 2017
I have heavy, hard nails hand and foot, and can only cut my toenails at all after a long bath
Exactly. And the cutting head swivels so you're not cutting at some awkward angle. They're unavailable at Amazon right now. Here's the full link if you're curious.
posted by Splunge at 2:07 PM on February 13, 2017
Exactly. And the cutting head swivels so you're not cutting at some awkward angle. They're unavailable at Amazon right now. Here's the full link if you're curious.
posted by Splunge at 2:07 PM on February 13, 2017
Okay, that link no longer works .
EZ Grip Rotary Stainless Steel Sharp Blade Fingernail Toenail Nail Clipper, Trimmer And Cutter
by GlossyEnd
posted by Splunge at 2:11 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
EZ Grip Rotary Stainless Steel Sharp Blade Fingernail Toenail Nail Clipper, Trimmer And Cutter
by GlossyEnd
posted by Splunge at 2:11 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
I have been wondering about this for years. Thank you.
posted by Cranialtorque at 2:44 PM on February 13, 2017
posted by Cranialtorque at 2:44 PM on February 13, 2017
For all the "you shouldn't bite your nails", presumably that's the main method humans have used, over the centuries. Aside from having them worn down and broken, anyway.
posted by iotic at 2:50 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by iotic at 2:50 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Clippers? Pah. Nail scissors are the only way to go.
I've found nothing better for nail trimming than the little spring-loaded scissors in a Swiss Army knife.
posted by Flashman at 2:57 PM on February 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
I've found nothing better for nail trimming than the little spring-loaded scissors in a Swiss Army knife.
posted by Flashman at 2:57 PM on February 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
Nicholson Baker's essay on nail clippers in his The Size of Thoughts is quite entertaining (or at least I remember it that way). PDF link here.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:09 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:09 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
I love Metafilter. One post telling me "Fat people can find love" almost right below "But if you bite your nails, GTFO pervert". It's a veritable roller-coaster of my own personal self-loathing.
posted by The otter lady at 3:33 PM on February 13, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 3:33 PM on February 13, 2017 [6 favorites]
I found that nail trimming nursery rhyme strange. I've seen a very similar rhyme about which is the best day of the week to get married on. (Monday for health / Tuesday for wealth, etc.) But trimming your nails seems so minor in comparison. But this site gives even another rhyme for getting your hair cut. (And Ulysses has a line which refers to one or both of these folk rhymes.) I'm so out of touch with how vast human superstition was/is!
posted by little onion at 3:41 PM on February 13, 2017
posted by little onion at 3:41 PM on February 13, 2017
Let's not forget Struwwelpeter's nail situation.
posted by thomas j wise at 3:46 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by thomas j wise at 3:46 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Struwwelpeter reference demands a Dwight Schrute shout-out.
But, more topically, I got the wife a very very nice Dovo nail care set for Christmas. It was basically a desperation gift idea since I'm terrible at that sort of thing. But boy has it turned out to be amazing. Having a grown up, hand crafted, full pliers style nail clippers has improved our lives as well as making it way easier to trim baby and toddler eld's nails.
posted by RolandOfEld at 4:27 PM on February 13, 2017
But, more topically, I got the wife a very very nice Dovo nail care set for Christmas. It was basically a desperation gift idea since I'm terrible at that sort of thing. But boy has it turned out to be amazing. Having a grown up, hand crafted, full pliers style nail clippers has improved our lives as well as making it way easier to trim baby and toddler eld's nails.
posted by RolandOfEld at 4:27 PM on February 13, 2017
they would mail each other their nail clippings. To eat.
I can only imagine what they are up to now.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 4:34 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
I can only imagine what they are up to now.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 4:34 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Don't ever clip your nails on the bus, or anywhere else that's not a bathroom.
In Toronto, both the TTC (urban transit) and GO (suburban commuter trains and buses) have in the last few months put up signs that strike the proper tone of Really? in my view.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:54 PM on February 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
In Toronto, both the TTC (urban transit) and GO (suburban commuter trains and buses) have in the last few months put up signs that strike the proper tone of Really? in my view.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:54 PM on February 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
Sorry, my mistake: the TTC ones are put up by an independent dude, New York artist Jason Shelowitz by name. The GO ones are the real deal, though.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:57 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:57 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
One other valid location: in your office WITH THE DOOR CLOSED. All violators will be shot.
This is untrue if you are in a modern office building in which walls are illusions made of drywall tape, paint, and the tinkling distant laughter of a well-paid contractor.
I can hear everything you think, much less do. EVERYTHING.
:(
posted by notquitemaryann at 5:18 PM on February 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
This is untrue if you are in a modern office building in which walls are illusions made of drywall tape, paint, and the tinkling distant laughter of a well-paid contractor.
I can hear everything you think, much less do. EVERYTHING.
:(
posted by notquitemaryann at 5:18 PM on February 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
The mehaz didn't work well for me. I much prefer the Muji
I own both (one for home, one for the office because I was apparently raised in a barn) and I find them pretty much equally nice to use, so much better than the cheap clippers I always used before.
For all the "you shouldn't bite your nails", presumably that's the main method humans have used, over the centuries. Aside from having them worn down and broken, anyway.
Any sharp knife will trim nails nicely; I have never tried but I would assume an obsidian blade would work as well. But maybe that is wishful thinking, hoping that my distant ancestors weren't all sitting around in a cave biting their nails.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:08 PM on February 13, 2017
I own both (one for home, one for the office because I was apparently raised in a barn) and I find them pretty much equally nice to use, so much better than the cheap clippers I always used before.
For all the "you shouldn't bite your nails", presumably that's the main method humans have used, over the centuries. Aside from having them worn down and broken, anyway.
Any sharp knife will trim nails nicely; I have never tried but I would assume an obsidian blade would work as well. But maybe that is wishful thinking, hoping that my distant ancestors weren't all sitting around in a cave biting their nails.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:08 PM on February 13, 2017
Longest fingernails on a single hand - ever
[Guinness World Records]
..with one hand fortunately left for normal, erm, activities.
posted by cenoxo at 7:20 PM on February 13, 2017
[Guinness World Records]
..with one hand fortunately left for normal, erm, activities.
posted by cenoxo at 7:20 PM on February 13, 2017
I think the Norse belief was that the enemies of the gods would sail to Ragnarok in Naglfar, the ship made of dead person's nails. Thus they trimmed the nails of the dead before burying.
That's the way I learned it, anyway.
posted by librosegretti at 7:26 PM on February 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
That's the way I learned it, anyway.
posted by librosegretti at 7:26 PM on February 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
I think the Norse belief was that the enemies of the gods would sail to Ragnarok in Naglfar, the ship made of dead person's nails. Thus they trimmed the nails of the dead before burying.
Now we must relax a bit. How many Norse people have died since the creation of that? How big does the damn ship have to be before it finally comes to fruition? When was that written? 1100? Does anyone know? Isn't that damn scratchy, itchy, scrapey boat ready yet? By my calculation, which is supremely scientific, and other -ific words... it should have been finished, launched and sunk by now. Think of the spaces between the nails. The damned thing has no sealant! In fact, consider, several of them have been finished and launched by now. With or without the enemies of the gods upon them. The gods, as they do, sit upon their thrones. They drink their mead. Occasionally a thrall rushes to them.
Your Greatness! Naglfar is complete! They launch it now!
Yes I know, more mead.
But, but! Ragnarok is nigh!
Where is the boat now? Scry for me.
::scrying::
Your Majesty, it has sunk...
Yes. More mead.
posted by Splunge at 8:00 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Now we must relax a bit. How many Norse people have died since the creation of that? How big does the damn ship have to be before it finally comes to fruition? When was that written? 1100? Does anyone know? Isn't that damn scratchy, itchy, scrapey boat ready yet? By my calculation, which is supremely scientific, and other -ific words... it should have been finished, launched and sunk by now. Think of the spaces between the nails. The damned thing has no sealant! In fact, consider, several of them have been finished and launched by now. With or without the enemies of the gods upon them. The gods, as they do, sit upon their thrones. They drink their mead. Occasionally a thrall rushes to them.
Your Greatness! Naglfar is complete! They launch it now!
Yes I know, more mead.
But, but! Ragnarok is nigh!
Where is the boat now? Scry for me.
::scrying::
Your Majesty, it has sunk...
Yes. More mead.
posted by Splunge at 8:00 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
please use nail clippers as directed. (warning: nightmare fuel, special effects)
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:11 AM on February 14, 2017
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:11 AM on February 14, 2017
I've found nothing better for nail trimming than the little spring-loaded scissors in a Swiss Army knife
This is actually true. You might think the special-purpose ones with a curved blade would be more convenient, but you would be wrong.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:19 AM on February 14, 2017
This is actually true. You might think the special-purpose ones with a curved blade would be more convenient, but you would be wrong.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:19 AM on February 14, 2017
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Great. More stuff to worry about.
posted by Splunge at 12:21 PM on February 13, 2017 [5 favorites]