You can't go wrong with pizza, unless it's terrible pizza.
February 18, 2017 9:31 PM Subscribe
In our darkest hour, a hero emerges. I will draw strength, inspiration and a thin crust with green pepper and sausage thanks to this fellow's example.
posted by maxwelton at 9:50 PM on February 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 9:50 PM on February 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
This makes so much sense. Pizza! 'nuf said.
posted by AugustWest at 10:05 PM on February 18, 2017
posted by AugustWest at 10:05 PM on February 18, 2017
Consumerist (the blog sold several years ago from Gawker to Consumer Reports) has frequently made me happy (and not just with pizza). CR is one of my few 'dead tree' subscriptions and I like to think of it just as importantly supporting the website. (Used to also feel that way about Mental_Floss but they discontinued the magazine and now ONLY have the website)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:20 PM on February 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:20 PM on February 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
I think I've mentioned this on the Blue before, but four years ago I came up with the idea of pizza week, an annual event where I'd go out for (at least) seven consecutive days and eat pizza. I get to see close friends, as well as friends I rarely meet, while also enjoying my favorite food.
This year's pizza week is two weeks from now and my excitement is almost as big, as the waiting period leading up to Christmas or my birthday were, when I was still a kid.
So I can sympathize with Dan. There's a reason for proverbs like "pizza is the best medicine" or "when the going gets tough, the tough get pizza", after all.
posted by bigendian at 10:30 PM on February 18, 2017 [55 favorites]
This year's pizza week is two weeks from now and my excitement is almost as big, as the waiting period leading up to Christmas or my birthday were, when I was still a kid.
So I can sympathize with Dan. There's a reason for proverbs like "pizza is the best medicine" or "when the going gets tough, the tough get pizza", after all.
posted by bigendian at 10:30 PM on February 18, 2017 [55 favorites]
I could definitely eat pizza every day, but I don't think I could have it as my sole food source.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:33 PM on February 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Chrysostom at 10:33 PM on February 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
1. He has only been eating pizza — just cheese, no other toppings — every day of his life for the past 25 years, after deciding to become a vegetarian. But he hates vegetables, so he chose pizza.
Who the hell ONLY eats cheese pizza for 25 years? This would be an unendurable hellscape paved with cardboard crust, cloyingly sweet tomato paste, and topped with rubbery cheese.
I think it's because cheese pizzas are hard to make really great. The best are probably traditional Italian-style. The crispier crust, the uneven amount of cheese on top, and some charring all contribute to more variety of textures and flavors (And they still put basil on it). The standard American takeout pizza has a more bread-like crust and a uniform coverage of cheese with little to no charring. You need toppings to contrast with that. At least some hot sauce or crushed red peppers.
posted by FJT at 10:39 PM on February 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
Who the hell ONLY eats cheese pizza for 25 years? This would be an unendurable hellscape paved with cardboard crust, cloyingly sweet tomato paste, and topped with rubbery cheese.
I think it's because cheese pizzas are hard to make really great. The best are probably traditional Italian-style. The crispier crust, the uneven amount of cheese on top, and some charring all contribute to more variety of textures and flavors (And they still put basil on it). The standard American takeout pizza has a more bread-like crust and a uniform coverage of cheese with little to no charring. You need toppings to contrast with that. At least some hot sauce or crushed red peppers.
posted by FJT at 10:39 PM on February 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
Wait, is he ONLY eating pizza? How does he not have like, scurvy? I guess the tomato sauce has enough vitamins in it to prevent it?
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 10:42 PM on February 18, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 10:42 PM on February 18, 2017 [9 favorites]
The guy behind Soylent is soooooooo mad right now.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:57 PM on February 18, 2017 [41 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 10:57 PM on February 18, 2017 [41 favorites]
I was on a SAR callout last May - a woman was out in the middle of nowhere with a group of friends mountain biking when they stopped to take a picture on a cliff edge and she lost her footing and fell. It was a 450ft cliff, but she was exceedingly fortunate that she landed on juniper perched on a rough ledge about 45 feet down. There was no cell service where they were at, and so her friends split up - her husband went to try to find cell service and the other to find an ATVer or something.
Once we got out there, it took a while to get everyone together, and get them to the site. She was 4+ miles in on a single track MTB trail, and that trail was 5 miles up an ATV trail that was 15 miles up a 4x4 road. We got out there about 11am, and it was almost 7pm by the time we got her up from her perch, stabilized, and then hand carried out, and finally got her on the chopper. All of this in 90 degree desert weather and scrub brush for shade. I spent the whole time packing dozens of bottles of water in, and the empties out. I probably did 25 miles that day.
Usually on SAR missions like this, we'll have boxes of cliff bars and MREs. You won't starve, but it's usually better to pack your own lunch if you can do it.
While we were doing all that, her husband - in conjunction with one of the county deputies - drove down the trail a bit till he got a bar of cell service. He called Domino's and they agreed to bring what must have been a pallet of pizzas out there. He arrived just as we got her and everyone else to the chopper, and I have to tell you - Domino's Pizza sucks in almost all contexts, but that was one of the better pizzas I've had. There were tears and hugs and high fives to go with the dried sweat and dust and sore muscles. And that Pizza was just what the doctor ordered.
We (The county SAR team) got a card from her a couple of months ago - she broke several bones, but otherwise was fine - scrapes and bruises, and should make a full recovery. She's looking forward to getting back out here for more mountain biking and photos a bit further from the scenic vistas.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:12 PM on February 18, 2017 [206 favorites]
Once we got out there, it took a while to get everyone together, and get them to the site. She was 4+ miles in on a single track MTB trail, and that trail was 5 miles up an ATV trail that was 15 miles up a 4x4 road. We got out there about 11am, and it was almost 7pm by the time we got her up from her perch, stabilized, and then hand carried out, and finally got her on the chopper. All of this in 90 degree desert weather and scrub brush for shade. I spent the whole time packing dozens of bottles of water in, and the empties out. I probably did 25 miles that day.
Usually on SAR missions like this, we'll have boxes of cliff bars and MREs. You won't starve, but it's usually better to pack your own lunch if you can do it.
While we were doing all that, her husband - in conjunction with one of the county deputies - drove down the trail a bit till he got a bar of cell service. He called Domino's and they agreed to bring what must have been a pallet of pizzas out there. He arrived just as we got her and everyone else to the chopper, and I have to tell you - Domino's Pizza sucks in almost all contexts, but that was one of the better pizzas I've had. There were tears and hugs and high fives to go with the dried sweat and dust and sore muscles. And that Pizza was just what the doctor ordered.
We (The county SAR team) got a card from her a couple of months ago - she broke several bones, but otherwise was fine - scrapes and bruises, and should make a full recovery. She's looking forward to getting back out here for more mountain biking and photos a bit further from the scenic vistas.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:12 PM on February 18, 2017 [206 favorites]
People never talk about the real victim of #pizzagate: Pizza.
That malicious fake news scandal was concocted to take down targeted people and institutions, to completely annihilate them. It wounded them, for some it still follows like a looming pall of doubt that may forever linger, but #pizzagate also left its odious taint on that universal food/language meant to be a slice of life. 🍕
posted by guiseroom at 11:42 PM on February 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
That malicious fake news scandal was concocted to take down targeted people and institutions, to completely annihilate them. It wounded them, for some it still follows like a looming pall of doubt that may forever linger, but #pizzagate also left its odious taint on that universal food/language meant to be a slice of life. 🍕
posted by guiseroom at 11:42 PM on February 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
I suppose this shows once again how good the human digestive system generally is at coping with whatever stupid stuff we throw at it.
posted by Segundus at 12:05 AM on February 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Segundus at 12:05 AM on February 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
I think it's because cheese pizzas are hard to make really great.
"Hey man, don't eat that pizza, it's not really great!"
- Nobody anywhere ever
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:09 AM on February 19, 2017 [58 favorites]
"Hey man, don't eat that pizza, it's not really great!"
- Nobody anywhere ever
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:09 AM on February 19, 2017 [58 favorites]
That's a great story, PF.
posted by persona au gratin at 12:27 AM on February 19, 2017
posted by persona au gratin at 12:27 AM on February 19, 2017
I was totally onboard with this guy until I read that it was only cheese pizza. At least he is sparing himself the abomination of pizza with pineapple on it.
It was a 450ft cliff, but she was exceedingly fortunate that she landed on juniper perched on a rough ledge about 45 feet down.
Sgt. Snorkel in real life! Agree that it's a great story.
posted by TedW at 1:06 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
It was a 450ft cliff, but she was exceedingly fortunate that she landed on juniper perched on a rough ledge about 45 feet down.
Sgt. Snorkel in real life! Agree that it's a great story.
posted by TedW at 1:06 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
TedW: "I was totally onboard with this guy until I read that it was only cheese pizza. At least he is sparing himself the abomination of pizza with pineapple on it.
"
I will internet slap fight you right here and right now unless you renounce both your heresy and your unutterable lack of taste.
posted by Samizdata at 1:12 AM on February 19, 2017 [26 favorites]
"
I will internet slap fight you right here and right now unless you renounce both your heresy and your unutterable lack of taste.
posted by Samizdata at 1:12 AM on February 19, 2017 [26 favorites]
It is not heresy, and I will not recant!
posted by TedW at 1:17 AM on February 19, 2017 [18 favorites]
posted by TedW at 1:17 AM on February 19, 2017 [18 favorites]
To be honest, I've once bought a box of very cheap frozen margherita pizzas, which aren't that good. So you pick from barbecue sauce, oregano, curry, provencal herbs, olives, bell pepper powder, and something else lying around in the kitchen: prawns, chicken, bacon, minced beef, mushrooms, bell peppers, vegetable mix, more cheese. And so, with a little work, it becomes a perfectly fine late night snack
Conclusion: to mess with pizza, you really have to do it on purpose.
posted by lmfsilva at 3:17 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Conclusion: to mess with pizza, you really have to do it on purpose.
posted by lmfsilva at 3:17 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
4. His favorite pizza is a Rochester, N.Y.-based chain called Pontillo’s.
I grew up in Rochester and can attest that Pontillo's is among the many great pizza places in Rochester. I live in Ohio now and the dearth of quality pizza places is one of the few things I miss about Rochester. Most places seem to try to imitate Donato's which is everything pizza shouldn't be.
posted by noneuclidean at 4:30 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
I grew up in Rochester and can attest that Pontillo's is among the many great pizza places in Rochester. I live in Ohio now and the dearth of quality pizza places is one of the few things I miss about Rochester. Most places seem to try to imitate Donato's which is everything pizza shouldn't be.
posted by noneuclidean at 4:30 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
My partner loooooooooooooves pizza, and would probably eat it every day if he had a choice (and his stomach would allow it). I used to love pizza a lot, but when you have it all the damned time, then it becomes kind of a chore, I think. It's fine, I guess? But even great pizza is still kind of....an open-faced tomato sauce sandwich, really.
posted by xingcat at 4:30 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by xingcat at 4:30 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
We were rolling up or down the I95 corridor in the, oh, early-Oughts, and we got off and rolled a bit on the US routes until we found an italian place for dinner. The lettuce on the Gyro pizza I *asked them to make* was a mistake. Didn't work at all.
PIZZA is hard to fuck up, yes. Toppings, surprisingly easy.
Still ate it.
posted by mikelieman at 4:31 AM on February 19, 2017
PIZZA is hard to fuck up, yes. Toppings, surprisingly easy.
Still ate it.
posted by mikelieman at 4:31 AM on February 19, 2017
And so, with a little work, it becomes a perfectly fine late night snack
The 15 bizarre pizzas link struck me that way. Most of them looked like pictures of stuff hungry college aged kids put on a pizza and posted to whatever social media platform is hip these days. And putting McPizza at number one was a bit of a letdown; sure it's not great pizza, but still not as strange as the McRib. The python pizza was bizarre, but I imagine it came from a part of the world where python meat is regularly consumed. We will probably see them in south Florida soon. The Russian pizza covered in fish is something my sardine-loving father would have liked.
posted by TedW at 4:32 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
The 15 bizarre pizzas link struck me that way. Most of them looked like pictures of stuff hungry college aged kids put on a pizza and posted to whatever social media platform is hip these days. And putting McPizza at number one was a bit of a letdown; sure it's not great pizza, but still not as strange as the McRib. The python pizza was bizarre, but I imagine it came from a part of the world where python meat is regularly consumed. We will probably see them in south Florida soon. The Russian pizza covered in fish is something my sardine-loving father would have liked.
posted by TedW at 4:32 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
The lettuce on the Gyro pizza I *asked them to make* was a mistake. Didn't work at all.
Was the lettuce added before baking or after?
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:56 AM on February 19, 2017
Was the lettuce added before baking or after?
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:56 AM on February 19, 2017
Was the lettuce added before baking or after?
It was a long time ago in old-hippie-years, so memories are strange things. If it was COLD AND CRISP, that would have been ok, so I'm going with "Before".
posted by mikelieman at 5:00 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
It was a long time ago in old-hippie-years, so memories are strange things. If it was COLD AND CRISP, that would have been ok, so I'm going with "Before".
posted by mikelieman at 5:00 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
From the 15 Of The Most Bizarre Pizzas In Existence link:
3. Corned Beef and Cabbage Pizza
2. Sauerkraut Pizza
One of the most memorable pizzas I've had was a reuben pizza at a bar in Dayton. Thousand island base, swiss cheese, corned beef, sauerkraut and rye croutons. I avoid sauerkraut at all costs, but that pizza was damn good.
posted by noneuclidean at 5:05 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
3. Corned Beef and Cabbage Pizza
2. Sauerkraut Pizza
One of the most memorable pizzas I've had was a reuben pizza at a bar in Dayton. Thousand island base, swiss cheese, corned beef, sauerkraut and rye croutons. I avoid sauerkraut at all costs, but that pizza was damn good.
posted by noneuclidean at 5:05 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
I love pizza but I'm on a low fat diet so I don't have it much these days. But in November me and my partner were in NY on holiday and everyone knows calories on holiday don't count. We went for a couple of fancy dinners but it was an expensive trip ($12 G&T wtf NY??) and there was a great pizza place a couple of minutes from the hotel, and the hotel also had this amazing thing where they offered guests free wine for an hour every day at 5pm. Actually free!! So 3 out of the 6 days we were there our evening routine was race back to the hotel for 5 - literally running down 5th Avenue one evening dodging a million people and shouting to each other "Hurry up it's nearly wine o'clock!!" - getting drunk for nothing and then walking down the road for $2 slices of amazing pizza the size of which made our full size pizzas at home look like a joke. It was bliss.
posted by billiebee at 5:06 AM on February 19, 2017 [33 favorites]
posted by billiebee at 5:06 AM on February 19, 2017 [33 favorites]
Wanna change your life? Use Naan bread for a crust, a drizzle of olive oil, a table spoon of basil pesto, light cheese, and whatever toppings you like . Once you've gone basil, you'll never go back.
posted by HuronBob at 5:43 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by HuronBob at 5:43 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
I worked in a lot of pizza places in my youth and one year after college I was assistant manager at Little Caesar's, which is not good pizza. In my morning dough making shifts I'd make a little snack pizza and I'd take a big one home at night. Pretty sure I ate Little Caesars 10-12 meals a week for at least 6 months. I'm still alive and skinny as a rail 25 years later. But I make my own pizza now on a stone. Ah, fake garlic goo, how I miss you.
posted by freecellwizard at 6:04 AM on February 19, 2017
posted by freecellwizard at 6:04 AM on February 19, 2017
Wait, is he ONLY eating pizza? How does he not have like, scurvy? I guess the tomato sauce has enough vitamins in it to prevent it?
Tomatoes have plenty of vitamin C although he'd be even better off if he got some bell peppers on his pizza.
There's definitely some kind of psychological issue here, but after that many years of eating the same thing, his gut biome is basically the ninja turtles. Can you imagine the revolt if something non-pizza started coming down the hatch? He's gonna have to start gradually, basically eating other vegetables covered in cheese and sauce, I guess, with gradually less cheese and sauce until he can eat a spinach omelet or something.
I wonder if he's getting married at a pizza place.
posted by dis_integration at 6:08 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
Tomatoes have plenty of vitamin C although he'd be even better off if he got some bell peppers on his pizza.
There's definitely some kind of psychological issue here, but after that many years of eating the same thing, his gut biome is basically the ninja turtles. Can you imagine the revolt if something non-pizza started coming down the hatch? He's gonna have to start gradually, basically eating other vegetables covered in cheese and sauce, I guess, with gradually less cheese and sauce until he can eat a spinach omelet or something.
I wonder if he's getting married at a pizza place.
posted by dis_integration at 6:08 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
I worked at a mcdonalds test store in fairiview park ohio in the late 80s and early 90s. We had regular deep fat fried chicken. Early testing of in store baked muffins etc. The best was when we got the pizza. The crusts were kind of like boboli premade things. We rolled then in this tub of garlic butter and then put garlic powder around the edge and loaded them up with tons of toppings. They were hugely popular because they were good.
In particular i recall making my own double cooked sauce pepperoni, sausage, onion, light cheese pull out of oven add 2 pounds of pepperoni cook until the top layer was super crispy. Mmmmm. Think we're having pizza for lunch.
posted by chasles at 6:12 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
In particular i recall making my own double cooked sauce pepperoni, sausage, onion, light cheese pull out of oven add 2 pounds of pepperoni cook until the top layer was super crispy. Mmmmm. Think we're having pizza for lunch.
posted by chasles at 6:12 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
The North Carolina Triangle mefites have in the past held a meetup at Pompieri Pizza, whose Family Night offerings are Chef's Choice: Whatever the server brings past your table is for the taking, but you have to be game for what's on offer. Any slice might or might not have pork belly, black-eyed peas, tequila, corn, fish... whatever the kitchen feels like, basically. One night the kitchen must've had a surplus of blueberries, since that decorated maybe half the slices we had. Another night's theme was pickled garlic. There's never been a bad slice, only less-successful experiments (even the tequila-lime pizza was worth trying despite the failed flambé).
And I dunno, corn on pizza is pretty common across east Asia. Not my thing, but neither is the stock American pizza topping of black olives.
posted by ardgedee at 6:28 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
And I dunno, corn on pizza is pretty common across east Asia. Not my thing, but neither is the stock American pizza topping of black olives.
posted by ardgedee at 6:28 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Pizza isn't so much a dish as a style of food or a kind of platform for toppings. You can pack the basic pizza formula--bread, cheese, sauce, toppings--with all kinds of nutritious or indulgent ingredients. Personally, I'd love it if lesser known near-cousins to pizza (like one of my favorites, Alsatian Flammkuchen, made with creme fraische for a sauce base) found a popular audience in the U.S.
posted by saulgoodman at 6:34 AM on February 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by saulgoodman at 6:34 AM on February 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
Related: WestJet pilot buys pizza for stranded Air Canada passengers.
posted by heatherlogan at 7:01 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by heatherlogan at 7:01 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I now know Domino's drivers transport large amounts of cash inside wings boxes.
posted by zakur at 7:02 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by zakur at 7:02 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
The lettuce on the Gyro pizza I *asked them to make* was a mistake. Didn't work at all.
The Bertucci's chain used to have a friseé pizza that was amazing. The lettuce was cold.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:17 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
The Bertucci's chain used to have a friseé pizza that was amazing. The lettuce was cold.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:17 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
"He has diabetes — but most doctors seem okay with it besides the endocrinologist he met with at first, he says: ” But all the other doctors have said, “Your cholesterol is fine. You seem healthy. Keep doing what you’re doing.”"
This seems rather unlikely. He seems healthy but he's got diabetes?
posted by jonathanhughes at 7:22 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
This seems rather unlikely. He seems healthy but he's got diabetes?
posted by jonathanhughes at 7:22 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
Pizza is really damn important to me. When i proposed to my wife, the ring was in a (clean, unused) pizza box from our favorite spot in NYC (love you motorino). For her first birthday after we moved to New York she requested, and i assented, to having pizza breakfast-lunch-and-dinner (i got dough from our corner slice shop, made a creme fraiche and lox breakfast pie, we had a neighborhood slices for lunch and got fancy pizza for dinner).
We had pizza at our wedding when the caterers parked a wood fired oven outside the venue.
The thing i really want to know is how this guy manages to poop more than once per month.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 7:26 AM on February 19, 2017 [11 favorites]
We had pizza at our wedding when the caterers parked a wood fired oven outside the venue.
The thing i really want to know is how this guy manages to poop more than once per month.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 7:26 AM on February 19, 2017 [11 favorites]
But, but... Gluten!
posted by jeff-o-matic at 7:26 AM on February 19, 2017
posted by jeff-o-matic at 7:26 AM on February 19, 2017
The Bertucci's chain used to have a friseé pizza that was amazing. The lettuce was cold.
There's a local spot here with what's basically a white pizza with a cold Caesar salad on top. I'd eat it everyday if I could afford it.
posted by saulgoodman at 7:26 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
There's a local spot here with what's basically a white pizza with a cold Caesar salad on top. I'd eat it everyday if I could afford it.
posted by saulgoodman at 7:26 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Another night's theme was pickled garlic.
Wait is this a thing? And is it as glorious as I imagine?
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:27 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Wait is this a thing? And is it as glorious as I imagine?
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:27 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
If I could I'd do the same. It's tasty, with enough variety of toppings you'd probably get everything you need, there's no awful pizza especially after you find a couple of good places. Wait, why am I not doing this right now?
posted by Memo at 7:34 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Memo at 7:34 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
This seems rather unlikely. He seems healthy but he's got diabetes?
High blood sugar doesn't kill you directly. It's the damage it does to your organs that kills you. Some people tolerate high blood sugar better than others; an endocrinologist will look carefully at signs of secondary damage and if there isn't any, they may not give a high priority to getting a number down that currently doesn't seem to be doing harm, particularly since most diabetes drugs can have other side effects.
posted by Bringer Tom at 7:37 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
High blood sugar doesn't kill you directly. It's the damage it does to your organs that kills you. Some people tolerate high blood sugar better than others; an endocrinologist will look carefully at signs of secondary damage and if there isn't any, they may not give a high priority to getting a number down that currently doesn't seem to be doing harm, particularly since most diabetes drugs can have other side effects.
posted by Bringer Tom at 7:37 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
our evening routine was race back to the hotel for 5 - literally running down 5th Avenue one evening dodging a million people and shouting to each other "Hurry up it's nearly wine o'clock!!"
billiebee: Reinforcing MetaFilter's Irish Stereotypes Since 2013™
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:46 AM on February 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
billiebee: Reinforcing MetaFilter's Irish Stereotypes Since 2013™
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:46 AM on February 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
I am firmly in the "pizza is a category" camp. It's like soups or sandwiches or burritos. There isn't just one correct type, and one kind being good doesn't invalidate others.
I used to make Swedish pizzas, where you have your basic sauce and mozzarella then top it with things like bananas and onions and canned tuna, then sprinkle it with curry powder. This only works with small build your own pizzas, where people decide what goes on theirs to accommodate weirdos who don't understand that tuna and bananas go together.
I make the best eggplant and feta cheese pizza ever, and I'd do it more often if it weren't so time consuming. I've been thinking I should work on streamlining the process somehow. It's a thin, crispy whole wheat crust with a ton of chunky eggplant tomato sauce and sheep milk feta crumbled on top. I've tried adding other things to it, but everything I've tried just interferes.
If I have a boring cheese pizza, I put a salad on top of it with mixed greens and vinaigrette, and if there's any left over in the morning, I heat it up in a skillet and put a fried egg on top of it so it's a respectable breakfast pizza, and I'm not just eating cold used pizza like a dirtbag.
When I have my druthers ordering pizzas, I get jalapeno and pineapple. The only problem with pineapple is that, if it's not properly drained before they put it on, the cheese underneath the pineapple can be a little rubbery and gross. Done correctly, though, it's ideal. When you call to order that, you have to say jalapeno first, because if you say pineapple first, some people autopilot and write in ham, which is pretty gross because it's ham.
posted by ernielundquist at 7:50 AM on February 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
I used to make Swedish pizzas, where you have your basic sauce and mozzarella then top it with things like bananas and onions and canned tuna, then sprinkle it with curry powder. This only works with small build your own pizzas, where people decide what goes on theirs to accommodate weirdos who don't understand that tuna and bananas go together.
I make the best eggplant and feta cheese pizza ever, and I'd do it more often if it weren't so time consuming. I've been thinking I should work on streamlining the process somehow. It's a thin, crispy whole wheat crust with a ton of chunky eggplant tomato sauce and sheep milk feta crumbled on top. I've tried adding other things to it, but everything I've tried just interferes.
If I have a boring cheese pizza, I put a salad on top of it with mixed greens and vinaigrette, and if there's any left over in the morning, I heat it up in a skillet and put a fried egg on top of it so it's a respectable breakfast pizza, and I'm not just eating cold used pizza like a dirtbag.
When I have my druthers ordering pizzas, I get jalapeno and pineapple. The only problem with pineapple is that, if it's not properly drained before they put it on, the cheese underneath the pineapple can be a little rubbery and gross. Done correctly, though, it's ideal. When you call to order that, you have to say jalapeno first, because if you say pineapple first, some people autopilot and write in ham, which is pretty gross because it's ham.
posted by ernielundquist at 7:50 AM on February 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
Penzey's Spices has a blend called Frozen Pizza Seasoning. It really does improve your average frozen pizza. If you ever eat frozen pizza, you should try it.
posted by Orlop at 7:53 AM on February 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by Orlop at 7:53 AM on February 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
I love that the first three tags on the Vice article are "pizza," "orégano," and "diabetes."
posted by mama casserole at 7:56 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mama casserole at 7:56 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Wait is this a thing? And is it as glorious as I imagine?
Did you just land on this planet? (Welcome!) Yes, and hopefully yes. Recipe.
I used to make Swedish pizzas, where you have your basic sauce and mozzarella then top it with things like bananas and onions and canned tuna.
To clarify, this is the definition of Swedish pizza that says "start with a decent thin crust pizza base, and then put whatever you want on it, because it's your pizza and nobody's going to take it from you" (preferred by 27% in a Swedish survey I just googled up).
The other definition of Swedish pizza is kebabpizza, preferably with the meat freshly scraped off that big chunk of meat they have sitting on the doner kebab grill, a few fefferoni peppers for decoration, and with a proper Swedish kebab sauce (12%).
posted by effbot at 8:19 AM on February 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
Did you just land on this planet? (Welcome!) Yes, and hopefully yes. Recipe.
I used to make Swedish pizzas, where you have your basic sauce and mozzarella then top it with things like bananas and onions and canned tuna.
To clarify, this is the definition of Swedish pizza that says "start with a decent thin crust pizza base, and then put whatever you want on it, because it's your pizza and nobody's going to take it from you" (preferred by 27% in a Swedish survey I just googled up).
The other definition of Swedish pizza is kebabpizza, preferably with the meat freshly scraped off that big chunk of meat they have sitting on the doner kebab grill, a few fefferoni peppers for decoration, and with a proper Swedish kebab sauce (12%).
posted by effbot at 8:19 AM on February 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
"Hey man, don't eat that pizza, it's not really great!"
- Nobody anywhere ever
Somebody hasn't been to Chuck-E-Cheese's.
posted by phlyingpenguin at 8:27 AM on February 19, 2017 [15 favorites]
- Nobody anywhere ever
Somebody hasn't been to Chuck-E-Cheese's.
posted by phlyingpenguin at 8:27 AM on February 19, 2017 [15 favorites]
This guy clearly has a serious eating disorder, but pizza is still awesome.
I am very particular about my pizza, and for that I am grateful I live in NYC. Contrary to legend, however, the vast majority of pizza in NYC is terrible. But there is just so much of it that it's always possible to find something in the "very good to excellent" range in most any neighborhood, and not all that difficult to find something in the "outstanding to etherial" range with a little effort. One thing I wish more pizza places would understand is that the most important thing they can do to improve the quality of their product is to use half the quantity of ingredients and reinvest the savings into better quality ingredients. Nothing is more antithetical to great pizza than the "pile it on" style laden with undercooked vegetables (because the ovens have to be set to low temperatures in order to melt all the cheese without burning the crust) bottom-of-the-barrel cured meats and Wisconsin "pizza cheese." Attempts to improve these insipid results after the fact is how places in this country developed such heretical practices as dipping pizza into ranch dressing.
posted by slkinsey at 8:31 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
I am very particular about my pizza, and for that I am grateful I live in NYC. Contrary to legend, however, the vast majority of pizza in NYC is terrible. But there is just so much of it that it's always possible to find something in the "very good to excellent" range in most any neighborhood, and not all that difficult to find something in the "outstanding to etherial" range with a little effort. One thing I wish more pizza places would understand is that the most important thing they can do to improve the quality of their product is to use half the quantity of ingredients and reinvest the savings into better quality ingredients. Nothing is more antithetical to great pizza than the "pile it on" style laden with undercooked vegetables (because the ovens have to be set to low temperatures in order to melt all the cheese without burning the crust) bottom-of-the-barrel cured meats and Wisconsin "pizza cheese." Attempts to improve these insipid results after the fact is how places in this country developed such heretical practices as dipping pizza into ranch dressing.
posted by slkinsey at 8:31 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
I would eat and enjoy canned tuna on pizza and sauerkraut on pizza.
Iceberg lettuce on pizza is a little weird, but my all time favorite, one we make at home from scratch has prosciutto and figs (from our garden) and after it comes out throw a heaping mound of arugula (also from the garden) drizzled in olive oil.
I feel like chicken and waffles are a thing that someone came up with thinking "this would be awesome" but has never actually tasted good anywhere but for some reason it's still being pushed on us and it won't stop until every last one of us has tried it and we have universal agreement that it is Not A Good Idea. The chicken and waffles pizza is just a another attempt to get us past this nonsense.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:33 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Iceberg lettuce on pizza is a little weird, but my all time favorite, one we make at home from scratch has prosciutto and figs (from our garden) and after it comes out throw a heaping mound of arugula (also from the garden) drizzled in olive oil.
I feel like chicken and waffles are a thing that someone came up with thinking "this would be awesome" but has never actually tasted good anywhere but for some reason it's still being pushed on us and it won't stop until every last one of us has tried it and we have universal agreement that it is Not A Good Idea. The chicken and waffles pizza is just a another attempt to get us past this nonsense.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:33 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Pizza is like sex: even when it's not great, it's still pretty fucking good.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:34 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:34 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
This seems rather unlikely. He seems healthy but he's got diabetes?
Maybe it's Type 1? I.e., hereditary and therefore not caused by his pizza habit.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:39 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Maybe it's Type 1? I.e., hereditary and therefore not caused by his pizza habit.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:39 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
That 15 bizarre pizzas article is bullshit. Especially the McDonald's pizza. That shit looks no different from what you'd get from any other chain pizza place. It probably tastes fine.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:43 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by tobascodagama at 8:43 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Pizza is like sex: even when it's not great, it's still pretty fucking good.
Pfft. I'm living in Halifax right now and there's so much terrible, awful pizza here that I've basically stopped getting it because it's really, really not worth it. The only good stuff is too expensive and doesn't do delivery. Though there is donair pizza which is pretty good, even if donair sauce is disgusting (it's sweetened condensed milk and garlic powder so it's sweet and bland).
One of my favourite pizzas is a breakfast pizza with thinly sliced roasted potatoes, roasted garlic, feta, and a whole bunch of freshly shaved asparagus. Cook it and top it with a fried egg (I never put the egg on before putting it in the oven because it's never turned out well for me). Also, kimchi is SO good on a cheese pizza. If you haven't tried it, do it, it's almost heavenly.
Also, people who don't like pineapple or black olives on pizza don't deserve pizza.
posted by Neronomius at 8:55 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Pfft. I'm living in Halifax right now and there's so much terrible, awful pizza here that I've basically stopped getting it because it's really, really not worth it. The only good stuff is too expensive and doesn't do delivery. Though there is donair pizza which is pretty good, even if donair sauce is disgusting (it's sweetened condensed milk and garlic powder so it's sweet and bland).
One of my favourite pizzas is a breakfast pizza with thinly sliced roasted potatoes, roasted garlic, feta, and a whole bunch of freshly shaved asparagus. Cook it and top it with a fried egg (I never put the egg on before putting it in the oven because it's never turned out well for me). Also, kimchi is SO good on a cheese pizza. If you haven't tried it, do it, it's almost heavenly.
Also, people who don't like pineapple or black olives on pizza don't deserve pizza.
posted by Neronomius at 8:55 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
When I got to high school, I was suddenly able to leave the building during the lunch period and I ate pizza every school day for my entire freshman year.
I don't eat it quite so often anymore, maybe because I moved from New York to Boston.
posted by danb at 9:02 AM on February 19, 2017
I don't eat it quite so often anymore, maybe because I moved from New York to Boston.
posted by danb at 9:02 AM on February 19, 2017
Pizza is like sex: even when it's not great, it's still pretty fucking good.
Yea... I feel like this aphorism was originally coined by someone who doesn't have particularly broad experience in either pizza or sex.
posted by slkinsey at 9:04 AM on February 19, 2017 [35 favorites]
Yea... I feel like this aphorism was originally coined by someone who doesn't have particularly broad experience in either pizza or sex.
posted by slkinsey at 9:04 AM on February 19, 2017 [35 favorites]
Pizza is like sex: even when it's not great, it's still pretty fucking good
Having lived in England for seven years, I must respectfully but vehemently disagree. Even at "nice" pizza places, the pizza was bland at best. And I will fight anyone who tries to normalize corn as a pizza topping.
posted by triggerfinger at 9:04 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
Having lived in England for seven years, I must respectfully but vehemently disagree. Even at "nice" pizza places, the pizza was bland at best. And I will fight anyone who tries to normalize corn as a pizza topping.
posted by triggerfinger at 9:04 AM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
The pineapple on pizza thing is complex. Because, the people who think it's disgusting are objectively wrong. However, I understand where they're coming from, since it's easy to get wrong.
First, as mentioned above, pineapples hold a lot of moisture, and that can mess up the dough if you don't drain it off before baking. Second, they're extremely acidic, and tomatoes are already acidic, so it adds up to like a double dose of acid. You really need to either put pineapple on a white pizza (my preference) or put something else on the pizza that cuts the acidity.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:05 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
First, as mentioned above, pineapples hold a lot of moisture, and that can mess up the dough if you don't drain it off before baking. Second, they're extremely acidic, and tomatoes are already acidic, so it adds up to like a double dose of acid. You really need to either put pineapple on a white pizza (my preference) or put something else on the pizza that cuts the acidity.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:05 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
We live in a delivery Bermuda Triangle—just outside the radius where the better delivery (not just pizza) options in our old neighborhood will deliver, and with only one restaurant in our neighborhood that will deliver. But Uber Eats is coming to Richmond soon, and that has me excited about getting delivery from the best pizza joint in Richmond THAT DOESN'T EVEN DELIVER. Our standard order is one "breakfast pizza" with pancetta, onions and a fried egg, and one red pizza with kalamata olives.
posted by emelenjr at 9:05 AM on February 19, 2017
posted by emelenjr at 9:05 AM on February 19, 2017
Like all civilized people, I only consume pineapple in juice form, blended together with ice, coconut cream and rum, and served in a hollowed-out frozen pineapple. Tiny umbrella optional but recommended.
posted by slkinsey at 9:09 AM on February 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by slkinsey at 9:09 AM on February 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
Pizza is like sex...unless it's in Seoul during the late eighties and the pizza shop had only made an approximation of a pizza based on bad photgraphs. It had sliced hotdogs in place of pepperoni, some peas...a terrible disappointment when you're feeling homesick.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:28 AM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:28 AM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
I've been working off of this tortilla pizza recipe from Serious Eats for the last while.
Is it the best pizza possible? No, of course not. I make no such claims.
Is it better than frozen pizza? God yes. And faster, and cheaper, and more versatile.
Am I prepping a giardiniera and pepperoni pie right now? Possibly.
posted by Iridic at 9:30 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Is it the best pizza possible? No, of course not. I make no such claims.
Is it better than frozen pizza? God yes. And faster, and cheaper, and more versatile.
Am I prepping a giardiniera and pepperoni pie right now? Possibly.
posted by Iridic at 9:30 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
It's actually illegal in the US to sell pizza (or salsa) with tangible corn in it. You're allowed to make and eat it, of course, because this is a "free country," but if you charge anyone money for it, you're breaking the law.
I don't think it's enforced much, partly because it's somewhere in one of those long, boring pieces of legislation nobody ever reads. I figure with the lower rates of violent crime and the decriminalization of marijuana, though, it's not long before cops start finding time to go after that.
posted by ernielundquist at 9:38 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I don't think it's enforced much, partly because it's somewhere in one of those long, boring pieces of legislation nobody ever reads. I figure with the lower rates of violent crime and the decriminalization of marijuana, though, it's not long before cops start finding time to go after that.
posted by ernielundquist at 9:38 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I don't think I have ever tried tangible corn
posted by thelonius at 9:41 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 9:41 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Is it only illegal if you call it pizza? Like if I call it a quesadilla it's legal?
posted by Mitheral at 9:45 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Mitheral at 9:45 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
I am positive I can get us from here to the "But is a hot dog a sandwich?" argument. Gimme a sec...
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:47 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:47 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
You gotta be pretty neurotic to eat this way. And I seriously doubt he can be healthy. Just the amount of hydrogenated and processed shit that's in mainstream fast food pizzas is enough to damage you on that scale.
posted by Liquidwolf at 9:53 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Liquidwolf at 9:53 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I saw Tangible Corn at CBGB back in the late '70s when they were opening for Talking Heads. They blew the doors off the place.
posted by slkinsey at 9:57 AM on February 19, 2017 [16 favorites]
posted by slkinsey at 9:57 AM on February 19, 2017 [16 favorites]
"Is it only illegal if you call it pizza? Like if I call it a quesadilla it's legal?"
It all comes down to the cheese. If it's mozzarella, it's pizza. If it's cheddar or monterey jack, it's a quesadilla.
posted by jonathanhughes at 9:57 AM on February 19, 2017
It all comes down to the cheese. If it's mozzarella, it's pizza. If it's cheddar or monterey jack, it's a quesadilla.
posted by jonathanhughes at 9:57 AM on February 19, 2017
DO YOU WANT DURIAN PIZZA LINK?
BECAUSE POSTING ARTICLES LIKE THIS GET YOU DURIAN PIZZA LINK
posted by lalochezia at 10:01 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I grew up in NYC and, circa 1975 - 1980, one of my favorite ways to eat lunch was to locate myself in some semi-random Manhattan neighborhood (e.g. midtown on the east side) buy a slice at the first pizzeria I encountered, eat it while I was walking and then when it was done (about 2 blocks later) buy another slice at the next pizzeria. The slices then were uniformly thin and greasy, with very light sauce and if the cheese was hot enough, it would "slump" into the bottom of the folded slice. You needed napkins to catch all the grease that would pour out of the end of the crease. Many of these slices were quite delicious! Some were pretty bland. I often threw the end crust out.
Those days are long gone, sadly. It would be very hard to eat that way now, mostly because pizzerias are no longer as densely deployed. And you'd be hard pressed to find slices like that as well. I have two theories about what I perceive as the decline of NY style pizza since then.
1- As the original cohort of Italian-descent pizza makers (and pizzeria owners) retired, they were generally not succeeded by their children. Instead, the businesses were sold to their hispanic employees who, over time, evolved the style into new forms.
2- Fucking Original Ray's (the real one, in the Village, with the line out the door) introduced slices that were larger and much thicker. Also for the first time you could easily get a slice with toppings. Prior to this, slices with toppings already on them were pretty much a rarity and/or you had to wait for toppings to be applied "on the fly" to a regular cheese slice and heated in the oven. (Which meant the toppings were never properly integrated into the cheese.) Ray's style was copied (often along with some variant of the name "Ray's") and now it's pretty much standard everywhere to see three, four, or even more different pies on display for sale by the slice. (E.g.: that place on the corner of St. Marks across from Cooper Union.) They are large slices and much thicker than their ancestors.
[*] - And don't get me wrong, they were very good, esp. their Sicilian slices. But they were hardly canon.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 10:23 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Those days are long gone, sadly. It would be very hard to eat that way now, mostly because pizzerias are no longer as densely deployed. And you'd be hard pressed to find slices like that as well. I have two theories about what I perceive as the decline of NY style pizza since then.
1- As the original cohort of Italian-descent pizza makers (and pizzeria owners) retired, they were generally not succeeded by their children. Instead, the businesses were sold to their hispanic employees who, over time, evolved the style into new forms.
2- Fucking Original Ray's (the real one, in the Village, with the line out the door) introduced slices that were larger and much thicker. Also for the first time you could easily get a slice with toppings. Prior to this, slices with toppings already on them were pretty much a rarity and/or you had to wait for toppings to be applied "on the fly" to a regular cheese slice and heated in the oven. (Which meant the toppings were never properly integrated into the cheese.) Ray's style was copied (often along with some variant of the name "Ray's") and now it's pretty much standard everywhere to see three, four, or even more different pies on display for sale by the slice. (E.g.: that place on the corner of St. Marks across from Cooper Union.) They are large slices and much thicker than their ancestors.
[*] - And don't get me wrong, they were very good, esp. their Sicilian slices. But they were hardly canon.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 10:23 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Thank Goodness Someone Is Finally Working On An Emergency Pizza Button
Cool!
Domino's
No thanks.
posted by Splunge at 10:32 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Cool!
Domino's
No thanks.
posted by Splunge at 10:32 AM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
I wonder if he is engaged to Pizzarina Sbarro.
posted by chrchr at 10:51 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by chrchr at 10:51 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
slarty bartfast
I feel like chicken and waffles are a thing that someone came up with thinking "this would be awesome" but has never actually tasted good anywhere but for some reason it's still being pushed on us and it won't stop until every last one of us has tried it and we have universal agreement that it is Not A Good Idea.
They say everyone has a soul mate. You are not mine.
If you dont like chicken and waffles then you havent had chicken and waffles. Just some hipster crap at a gastropub (whatever the hell that is). Get thee to roscoes in LA or any actual southern soul food restaurant. Real fried chicken on non gimmicky semi savory waffles with a touch of real maple syrup and a dash of real hot sauce is the foodstuff of the gods.
posted by chasles at 11:00 AM on February 19, 2017 [19 favorites]
I feel like chicken and waffles are a thing that someone came up with thinking "this would be awesome" but has never actually tasted good anywhere but for some reason it's still being pushed on us and it won't stop until every last one of us has tried it and we have universal agreement that it is Not A Good Idea.
They say everyone has a soul mate. You are not mine.
If you dont like chicken and waffles then you havent had chicken and waffles. Just some hipster crap at a gastropub (whatever the hell that is). Get thee to roscoes in LA or any actual southern soul food restaurant. Real fried chicken on non gimmicky semi savory waffles with a touch of real maple syrup and a dash of real hot sauce is the foodstuff of the gods.
posted by chasles at 11:00 AM on February 19, 2017 [19 favorites]
put something else on the pizza that cuts the acidity.
tums
posted by poffin boffin at 11:08 AM on February 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
tums
posted by poffin boffin at 11:08 AM on February 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
"Hey man, don't eat that pizza, it's not really great!"
- Nobody anywhere ever
Eerrr... Said me. Quite often. I love good pizza and hate the rest. I pass up pizza all the time because I'd rather have the terrible dry salad that comes with it, than the terrible dry pizza.
Also, I could not do this. When I order a pizza, it's 3 meals for me. By meal 3, I'm so over it. Every day? Every meal? BY CHOICE?? No.
posted by greermahoney at 11:08 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
- Nobody anywhere ever
Eerrr... Said me. Quite often. I love good pizza and hate the rest. I pass up pizza all the time because I'd rather have the terrible dry salad that comes with it, than the terrible dry pizza.
Also, I could not do this. When I order a pizza, it's 3 meals for me. By meal 3, I'm so over it. Every day? Every meal? BY CHOICE?? No.
posted by greermahoney at 11:08 AM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I knew a guy who gave himself some kind of serious nutritional disorder eating a diet of mostly soda and cheap pepperoni pizza. Even with the additives in flour this sounds like a terrible way to eat.
posted by Dip Flash at 11:13 AM on February 19, 2017
posted by Dip Flash at 11:13 AM on February 19, 2017
This just in from Twitter: Two slices of pizza are the equivalent to swallowing 3 spoons of warm oil. Do you feel like eating pizza now?
You probably don't have to click the link to know how that ended.
posted by effbot at 11:29 AM on February 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
You probably don't have to click the link to know how that ended.
posted by effbot at 11:29 AM on February 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
If I could afford it, I could live on Conan's deep dish whole wheat crust pizza with green bell peppers and onions. So many ways to eat it: hot, cold, room temperature! Take a multivitamin and it's all good.
Also, on one thing I love about the Consumerist, is that's where I first became aware of the delightful comments of Eyebrows McGee.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:34 AM on February 19, 2017
Also, on one thing I love about the Consumerist, is that's where I first became aware of the delightful comments of Eyebrows McGee.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:34 AM on February 19, 2017
I miss pizza. I don't do well with dairy, the pills do nothing, so no pizza, no ice cream, no butter. There are many delicious non-dairy foods. But cheesy pizza occasionally calls my name. Ideally with thin chewy crust, pepperoni and green olives.
posted by theora55 at 11:50 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by theora55 at 11:50 AM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
I have had limited exposure to highly-regarded American pizza, but in every case I've been overcome with too much cheese.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 12:00 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 12:00 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
after deciding to become a vegetarian. But he hates vegetables,
What
posted by Melismata at 12:09 PM on February 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
What
posted by Melismata at 12:09 PM on February 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
effbot: " Two slices of pizza are the equivalent to swallowing 3 spoons of warm oil. Do you feel like eating pizza now?
"
Why not? Most things that classically taste good are basically fat of some sort plus salt.
posted by Mitheral at 12:11 PM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
"
Why not? Most things that classically taste good are basically fat of some sort plus salt.
posted by Mitheral at 12:11 PM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
I have had limited exposure to highly-regarded American pizza, but in every case I've been overcome with too much cheese.
Dear lord, yes. There needs to be a decent ratio. If it's thin crust, I now order light on the cheese and am much happier for it.
I realize my culinary opinions are probably invalidated because I also don't really like chocolate that much.
posted by greermahoney at 12:28 PM on February 19, 2017
too much cheese
what is this strange "too much" of which you speak
posted by billiebee at 12:29 PM on February 19, 2017 [12 favorites]
what is this strange "too much" of which you speak
posted by billiebee at 12:29 PM on February 19, 2017 [12 favorites]
Point of order: Type 1 diabetes is not "the hereditary kind." It's autoimmune. (This is the kind that people used to refer to as juvenile diabetes.) Type 2 diabetes, the insulin resistance kind, actually has more of a hereditary component than Type 1, despite our popular conception of the two conditions.
posted by ocherdraco at 12:29 PM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by ocherdraco at 12:29 PM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
I also don't really like chocolate that much
no seriously this thread has become dark and scary
posted by billiebee at 12:30 PM on February 19, 2017 [12 favorites]
no seriously this thread has become dark and scary
posted by billiebee at 12:30 PM on February 19, 2017 [12 favorites]
(Not that autoimmune diseases can't be hereditary, but you get my point.)
posted by ocherdraco at 12:31 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by ocherdraco at 12:31 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
This page about genetics and diabetes makes my point in a more detailed and nuanced way. Back to your regularly scheduled pizza discussion.
posted by ocherdraco at 12:34 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by ocherdraco at 12:34 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Two slices of pizza are the equivalent to swallowing 3 spoons of warm oil. Do you feel like eating pizza now?
The artichoke hearts I used to buy were packed in oil. When the artichokes were gone I'd pour the oil into a cereal bowl, crush a few soda crackers into it and eat that with a spoon -- or sometimes I would just drink the oil. That was a lot more than 3 spoonfuls.
posted by jamjam at 12:38 PM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
The artichoke hearts I used to buy were packed in oil. When the artichokes were gone I'd pour the oil into a cereal bowl, crush a few soda crackers into it and eat that with a spoon -- or sometimes I would just drink the oil. That was a lot more than 3 spoonfuls.
posted by jamjam at 12:38 PM on February 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
> This just in from Twitter: Two slices of pizza are the equivalent to swallowing 3 spoons of warm oil. Do you feel like eating pizza now?
As little as half a cup of water can drown a human. Boy doesn't that scare you now! WILL YOU EVER DRINK FLUIDS AGAIN?!?
posted by ardgedee at 12:57 PM on February 19, 2017 [22 favorites]
As little as half a cup of water can drown a human. Boy doesn't that scare you now! WILL YOU EVER DRINK FLUIDS AGAIN?!?
posted by ardgedee at 12:57 PM on February 19, 2017 [22 favorites]
Are tacos pizza?
posted by kittensofthenight at 1:00 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by kittensofthenight at 1:00 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Well count me in then.
posted by kittensofthenight at 1:12 PM on February 19, 2017
posted by kittensofthenight at 1:12 PM on February 19, 2017
If anyone is still reading, they published a video with this guy a little later than the original article was published.
Also a followup interview.
posted by asterisk at 1:12 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Also a followup interview.
posted by asterisk at 1:12 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Thanks for the correction, ocherdraco!
posted by tobascodagama at 1:16 PM on February 19, 2017
posted by tobascodagama at 1:16 PM on February 19, 2017
From the interview: You have a hand-tossed crust and a crispy bottom, but there’s almost a bubbly sort of interior crust. The middle is doughy—actually extra doughy.
He's just described New Haven pizza, and he is correct that it is the Best.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:35 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
He's just described New Haven pizza, and he is correct that it is the Best.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:35 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Are tacos pizza?
Is cinnamon toast a pizza?
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:39 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Is cinnamon toast a pizza?
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:39 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Speaking of Swedish pizza: I just returned from school in Stockholm. When you have pizza there, it is always accompanied with Pizza Salat, a delicious cabbage salad.
The Salat was always brought out first, in a large bowl, for everyone to help themselves. Oh my goodness, so good. Here is a recipe.
Can't wait for May, when I return and will have it again.
posted by seawallrunner at 1:45 PM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
The Salat was always brought out first, in a large bowl, for everyone to help themselves. Oh my goodness, so good. Here is a recipe.
Can't wait for May, when I return and will have it again.
posted by seawallrunner at 1:45 PM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
very slightly relevant but i was forced to read with my own eyes a food description of an accursed item known as the "pizookie" which, i am disgusted to reveal, is a large cookie with various things thrown on top before baking so that it - barely to anyone with sense - resembles a pizza
i hate the future
posted by poffin boffin at 1:51 PM on February 19, 2017
i hate the future
posted by poffin boffin at 1:51 PM on February 19, 2017
Is cinnamon toast a pizza?
Well its not soup is it.
posted by kittensofthenight at 1:55 PM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
Well its not soup is it.
posted by kittensofthenight at 1:55 PM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
I wasn't bothered by that guy until I watched the video where he's acting like a big giant baby when he tries to eat a pizza with toppings. I hope he's just acting for the camera, because dang, that's obnoxious.
posted by ernielundquist at 1:59 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by ernielundquist at 1:59 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I've just realised this is the thread to ask a question I've never been bothered to use an AskMe for: is the Pizza Express Leggera Pizza solely a UK abomination? What you may think you're looking at is a pizza with a salad on top. LIES! It is in fact a pizza with a hole in the middle filled with salad. In other words, a salad with a pizza crust. It makes me rageweep every time I see it.
posted by billiebee at 2:24 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by billiebee at 2:24 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Is cinnamon toast a pizza?
Well its not soup is it.
With enough butter it is.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:29 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Well its not soup is it.
With enough butter it is.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:29 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
It is in fact a pizza with a hole in the middle filled with salad.
Needs more toppings.
posted by effbot at 2:32 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Needs more toppings.
posted by effbot at 2:32 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
billiebee, honey, it's not a bad thing to have a pizza hole filled with salad. Isn't it after five there? Enjoy a toddy or whatever and think of pizza whole
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:32 PM on February 19, 2017
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:32 PM on February 19, 2017
I knew a guy who gave himself some kind of serious nutritional disorder eating a diet of mostly soda and cheap pepperoni pizza.
I do think that an all-pizza diet would at least keep you from getting scurvy, though. Actually there may be enough Vitamin C in Coca-Cola to do that. Unfortunately, "it prevents scurvy" isn't enough!
posted by thelonius at 2:35 PM on February 19, 2017
I do think that an all-pizza diet would at least keep you from getting scurvy, though. Actually there may be enough Vitamin C in Coca-Cola to do that. Unfortunately, "it prevents scurvy" isn't enough!
posted by thelonius at 2:35 PM on February 19, 2017
So...
This is difficult to do in person; I'm feeling sort of daunted at the prospect of having to sell you on Mr. Pizza over the internet. But, it's the best pizza ever hands down no kidding and if I tell you any more about it you won't believe me but it is and I'm clearly just going to go ahead and do my best. Another part of this particular difficulty was convincing myself to go out on this limb over and over after being a diehard fan of traditional NYC-style cheese pies for such a large chunk of my life.
That stuff just doesn't exist in Los Angeles like it oughta in a city of such diversity, and certainly not within delivery radius of where I live. Everyone's great pizza should be local pizza, and for me in my case as I'm living now, the best great pizza in my hood is the Romantic Combo from Mr Pizza: Half Sweet Piece and half Lovely Piece. I'll get to the toppings and crust in a moment, but before we delve into everyone's favorite particulars I just want to attempt to describe what it's like to eat a specialty pizza from Mr. Pizza. Every bite is different, yet connected in flavor and theme to the bite before. The only way you can replicate a bite from one of these delicious pizza pies is to have another slice and go through the process all over again. Honestly that's not much of a chore, the only problem is you wind up eating a lot of pizza. The flavors are surprising in a way that is delightful to your tastebuds but not your ear-buds or even your imagination-buds. But do you taste things with your ears? With your imagination? No, you taste things with your taste buds, and so this pizza is built without regard for your earbuds and brain buds and instead is directly targeted at your taste buds in your face.
Anyway, the ingredients are layered and arrayed in a way that guides you through the pizza from the center to the wholly unique crust. You get a big bite of one ingredient with a dusting of another, then the next bite the dusting is the main event but it's got just a hint of the glob of deliciousness that will delight your bite after that. I know, I understand, I can feel you shaking your head and thinking of ways to exhort the virtues of traditional evenly-topping-ed pizza. It's only natural to want to do so, to not be capable of fully understanding what I'm talking about, especially without even knowing what sort of toppings I'm going on about. So, without much further ado, here's the Sweet Piece and the Lovely Piece pizzas from Mr. Pizza on Wilshire:
Sweet Piece
Condensed milk sauce
Corn - YES CORN
Pineapple - properly drained
Sweet potato diced
bacon bits
almond flakes
streusel
cranberry
Hash brown
Emmental cheese
and sweet potato mousse crust
Lovely Piece
Sweet chili sauce
bell pepper
Rib eye steak
Cajun Shrimp
Cream cheese
blue cheese
Hash brown
Emmental cheese
and sweet potato mousse crust
This is the part where most folks go 'whut' and I have to promise to take them to Mr. Pizza so they can know with their taste buds instead of with the imagination-buds.
With some shared toppings the two specialty pies clearly go together, complimenting each other well. Sounds like quite a load, right? Our imagination crushes a normal pizza crust under the literal weight of these toppings, not to even mention the figurative weight of bacon bits and streusel on the same pizza pie!
I hope you noticed the sweet potato mousse crust. Visually similar to your typical pizza crust except for its slightly darker orange hue, the Mr. Pizza specialty crust is crunchy and crisp on the outside with a hearty snap to it, but inside is imbued with a light and fluffy sweet potato mousse. It's like the stuffed-crust configuration only with foamy mousse instead of melty cheese. Don't get me wrong—melty cheese stuffed crust pizza is OF THE GODS—but foamy fluffy sweetie potatoey mousse is of another, greater, older universe's GODS.
They also make an egg cream mousse crust that's top notch.
posted by carsonb at 2:54 PM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
This is difficult to do in person; I'm feeling sort of daunted at the prospect of having to sell you on Mr. Pizza over the internet. But, it's the best pizza ever hands down no kidding and if I tell you any more about it you won't believe me but it is and I'm clearly just going to go ahead and do my best. Another part of this particular difficulty was convincing myself to go out on this limb over and over after being a diehard fan of traditional NYC-style cheese pies for such a large chunk of my life.
That stuff just doesn't exist in Los Angeles like it oughta in a city of such diversity, and certainly not within delivery radius of where I live. Everyone's great pizza should be local pizza, and for me in my case as I'm living now, the best great pizza in my hood is the Romantic Combo from Mr Pizza: Half Sweet Piece and half Lovely Piece. I'll get to the toppings and crust in a moment, but before we delve into everyone's favorite particulars I just want to attempt to describe what it's like to eat a specialty pizza from Mr. Pizza. Every bite is different, yet connected in flavor and theme to the bite before. The only way you can replicate a bite from one of these delicious pizza pies is to have another slice and go through the process all over again. Honestly that's not much of a chore, the only problem is you wind up eating a lot of pizza. The flavors are surprising in a way that is delightful to your tastebuds but not your ear-buds or even your imagination-buds. But do you taste things with your ears? With your imagination? No, you taste things with your taste buds, and so this pizza is built without regard for your earbuds and brain buds and instead is directly targeted at your taste buds in your face.
Anyway, the ingredients are layered and arrayed in a way that guides you through the pizza from the center to the wholly unique crust. You get a big bite of one ingredient with a dusting of another, then the next bite the dusting is the main event but it's got just a hint of the glob of deliciousness that will delight your bite after that. I know, I understand, I can feel you shaking your head and thinking of ways to exhort the virtues of traditional evenly-topping-ed pizza. It's only natural to want to do so, to not be capable of fully understanding what I'm talking about, especially without even knowing what sort of toppings I'm going on about. So, without much further ado, here's the Sweet Piece and the Lovely Piece pizzas from Mr. Pizza on Wilshire:
Sweet Piece
Condensed milk sauce
Corn - YES CORN
Pineapple - properly drained
Sweet potato diced
bacon bits
almond flakes
streusel
cranberry
Hash brown
Emmental cheese
and sweet potato mousse crust
Lovely Piece
Sweet chili sauce
bell pepper
Rib eye steak
Cajun Shrimp
Cream cheese
blue cheese
Hash brown
Emmental cheese
and sweet potato mousse crust
This is the part where most folks go 'whut' and I have to promise to take them to Mr. Pizza so they can know with their taste buds instead of with the imagination-buds.
With some shared toppings the two specialty pies clearly go together, complimenting each other well. Sounds like quite a load, right? Our imagination crushes a normal pizza crust under the literal weight of these toppings, not to even mention the figurative weight of bacon bits and streusel on the same pizza pie!
I hope you noticed the sweet potato mousse crust. Visually similar to your typical pizza crust except for its slightly darker orange hue, the Mr. Pizza specialty crust is crunchy and crisp on the outside with a hearty snap to it, but inside is imbued with a light and fluffy sweet potato mousse. It's like the stuffed-crust configuration only with foamy mousse instead of melty cheese. Don't get me wrong—melty cheese stuffed crust pizza is OF THE GODS—but foamy fluffy sweetie potatoey mousse is of another, greater, older universe's GODS.
They also make an egg cream mousse crust that's top notch.
posted by carsonb at 2:54 PM on February 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
Did anyone read the original Vice interview? This is from the intro:
"Everyone who knows Dan wonders how he's still alive. Beyond the fact that his diet is completely horrifying, he also has diabetes and frequently gets low blood sugar. When his blood sugar dips into the danger zone, it sometimes results in his blacking out on the kitchen floor in his underwear with frozen food scattered around him. There was that one time he bought a new car and then blacked out on the drive home. He swerved off the road and totaled the vehicle, but besides from that isolated incident, his pizza diet seems to be working out for him."
Uh... Yes, besides that.
posted by krinklyfig at 2:58 PM on February 19, 2017 [19 favorites]
"Everyone who knows Dan wonders how he's still alive. Beyond the fact that his diet is completely horrifying, he also has diabetes and frequently gets low blood sugar. When his blood sugar dips into the danger zone, it sometimes results in his blacking out on the kitchen floor in his underwear with frozen food scattered around him. There was that one time he bought a new car and then blacked out on the drive home. He swerved off the road and totaled the vehicle, but besides from that isolated incident, his pizza diet seems to be working out for him."
Uh... Yes, besides that.
posted by krinklyfig at 2:58 PM on February 19, 2017 [19 favorites]
blacking out on the kitchen floor in his underwear with frozen food scattered around him
On the upside, there's probably a Finnish word for that.
posted by effbot at 3:03 PM on February 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
On the upside, there's probably a Finnish word for that.
posted by effbot at 3:03 PM on February 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
In less pleasant pizza-related news: Domino's Australia are massive scumbags.
Bonus fact: there has never been a pizza made by an Australian Domino's outlet that has the quantity of toppings shown in the article. Rough average is one teaspoon sauce, 1.2 pepperoni pieces per slice, and a light sneezing of cheese across the entire thing.
For the record the best pizza around my neck of the woods is Big Pappas.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:10 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Bonus fact: there has never been a pizza made by an Australian Domino's outlet that has the quantity of toppings shown in the article. Rough average is one teaspoon sauce, 1.2 pepperoni pieces per slice, and a light sneezing of cheese across the entire thing.
For the record the best pizza around my neck of the woods is Big Pappas.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:10 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Australian Domino's (I can't speak to the quality of others) is, in Australian parlance, shithouse. Cloyingly sweet sauce, terrible crust; no point going on describing it past that point. It's pizza in name only.
Most delivery pizza here is ordinary, but there is lots of good pizza to be had, though it's almost exclusively neapolitan. Would like a proper NY style pizza place that did delivery.*
*I'm in Melbourne and open to suggestions!
posted by flippant at 3:20 PM on February 19, 2017
Most delivery pizza here is ordinary, but there is lots of good pizza to be had, though it's almost exclusively neapolitan. Would like a proper NY style pizza place that did delivery.*
*I'm in Melbourne and open to suggestions!
posted by flippant at 3:20 PM on February 19, 2017
I have to promise to take them to Mr. Pizza so they can know with their taste buds instead of with the imagination-buds.
It has sweet potatoes in there more than once, so I'm sold.
posted by asperity at 3:21 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
It has sweet potatoes in there more than once, so I'm sold.
posted by asperity at 3:21 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Did none of you attend college? I think my diet was similarly limited, perhaps not as much as this fellow's, but right up there. Pizza, street tacos, and burritos. You wanted to eat your whole pizza without sharing? Order it with anchovies. Don't want to share your tacos? Order buche, muy crujiente. Shared burritos? NO ONE SHARES BURRITOS, BE REAL. As for veggies, salsa IS a veggie.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:30 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:30 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
carsonb, I was reading the ingredients going "huh, it sounds like the pizza I had in South Korea" only to realize that apparently it is indeed the same Mr. Pizza. I had no idea they had a shop in the US, but unfortunately I'm too far from LA to relive those memories. The "Sweet Piece" is very delicious but very filling (and, of course, sweet!). I could usually only eat one slice.
posted by paisley sheep at 4:39 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by paisley sheep at 4:39 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Fyi we met with some like minded friends and all the lot of us (8) went to cappys, just down on 29th and 1st ave n. Some had new york style, some chicago style (one had a folded pizza - calzone) but all had pizza and a good time. Soooo good.
Metafilter: pizza is good.
posted by chasles at 4:47 PM on February 19, 2017
Metafilter: pizza is good.
posted by chasles at 4:47 PM on February 19, 2017
it's always possible to find something in the "very good to excellent" range in most any neighborhood [in NYC], and not all that difficult to find something in the "outstanding to etherial" range with a little effort
So if anyone who has the knowing of it would like to recommend some ethereal pizza in and around Hell's Kitchen, I'd like to hear of it. All the stuff I've tried has obviously been aiming at quantity rather than quality.
(There used to be a place on 6th down near 23rd that did thin, charred, one-person size pizzas that were excellent, but I'm not down there any more)
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 4:47 PM on February 19, 2017
So if anyone who has the knowing of it would like to recommend some ethereal pizza in and around Hell's Kitchen, I'd like to hear of it. All the stuff I've tried has obviously been aiming at quantity rather than quality.
(There used to be a place on 6th down near 23rd that did thin, charred, one-person size pizzas that were excellent, but I'm not down there any more)
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 4:47 PM on February 19, 2017
There was a Mr. Pizza in the Bradlees Plaza on Main St. in New City NY ( 10956 ).
Pretty sure that's not who we're talking about, right?
posted by mikelieman at 4:48 PM on February 19, 2017
Pretty sure that's not who we're talking about, right?
posted by mikelieman at 4:48 PM on February 19, 2017
Also I'm glad I'm reading this thread after spending a weekend in Chicago and eating my weight in deep dish so I actually don't have a strong pizza craving right now. I'm pretty sure I'm still digesting the pound of cheese I've consumed in the past couple of days.
posted by paisley sheep at 4:50 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by paisley sheep at 4:50 PM on February 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
The full list of ingredients of that Mr. Pizza could be separated out into 21+ pizzas that could become 'pizza for every meal' for a week and I could certainly live on that. It doesn't take too special a pizzeria to have enough varieties of toppings to make "only eating pizza" a lifestyle choice for millions...
And while we're talking about variations, don't forget the wacky Vinnie's Pizza in Brooklyn with its creative themed Specials Boards (that I believe actually pre-dated the Bob's Burgers Special Board).
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:12 PM on February 19, 2017
And while we're talking about variations, don't forget the wacky Vinnie's Pizza in Brooklyn with its creative themed Specials Boards (that I believe actually pre-dated the Bob's Burgers Special Board).
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:12 PM on February 19, 2017
Great, even a dude who refuses to eat anything but pizza has a fiance. I give up.
posted by ktoad at 5:45 PM on February 19, 2017 [15 favorites]
posted by ktoad at 5:45 PM on February 19, 2017 [15 favorites]
after deciding to become a vegetarian. But he hates vegetables,
What
posted by Melismata at 3:09 PM on February 19 [2 favorites +] [!]
He loves animals and hates vegetables, tomatoes and pizza spice herbs foremost, so he's eating pizza until all the tomatoes and herbs are dead, and then moving on to the next-worst?
posted by axiom at 6:48 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
What
posted by Melismata at 3:09 PM on February 19 [2 favorites +] [!]
He loves animals and hates vegetables, tomatoes and pizza spice herbs foremost, so he's eating pizza until all the tomatoes and herbs are dead, and then moving on to the next-worst?
posted by axiom at 6:48 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
omg prove that tomato sauce doesn't have feelings. You can't! It's literally just as bad!
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:09 PM on February 19, 2017
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:09 PM on February 19, 2017
Also, "Mr. Pizza" is the place Jeff Spicoli ordered pizza from and had delivered to Mr. Hand's American History class in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
The pizza was delivered by the late Taylor Negron.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:30 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
The pizza was delivered by the late Taylor Negron.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:30 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
effbot: "Needs more toppings."
Well after four rounds of Google asking me a bunch of questions in, I'm guessing, swedish I managed to see the images and wow, that looks great. I just hope I didn't agree to let google raise my first born or something.
thelonius: "Actually there may be enough Vitamin C in Coca-Cola to do that."
Coke facts from the Coca-Cola Company: Not a significant source of fat cal., sat. fat, trans fat, cholest., fiber, vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium and iron. Though apparently Coke released a vitamin fortified version of Diet Coke a few years ago which I'm pretty sure is an answer to a question no one was asking.
posted by Mitheral at 8:50 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Well after four rounds of Google asking me a bunch of questions in, I'm guessing, swedish I managed to see the images and wow, that looks great. I just hope I didn't agree to let google raise my first born or something.
thelonius: "Actually there may be enough Vitamin C in Coca-Cola to do that."
Coke facts from the Coca-Cola Company: Not a significant source of fat cal., sat. fat, trans fat, cholest., fiber, vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium and iron. Though apparently Coke released a vitamin fortified version of Diet Coke a few years ago which I'm pretty sure is an answer to a question no one was asking.
posted by Mitheral at 8:50 PM on February 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
The pizza was delivered by the late Taylor Negron.
So was it free?
I am so sorry
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:52 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
So was it free?
I am so sorry
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:52 PM on February 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
I had this article hanging on my wall for years: Q. Can a person survive by eating only slices of New York City pizza? (Spoiler: yes.)
posted by Shmuel510 at 6:28 AM on February 20, 2017
posted by Shmuel510 at 6:28 AM on February 20, 2017
I have had Python Pizza. It was pretty good.
I was trying to eat a different animal every day for 30 days. I had pizza, I had python. Om nom.
Also, why do so many dominoes wings boxes have thousands of dollars in?
There are 2 occasions where people handed the cash back listed. There must be many many more where they didn't.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 6:46 AM on February 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
I was trying to eat a different animal every day for 30 days. I had pizza, I had python. Om nom.
Also, why do so many dominoes wings boxes have thousands of dollars in?
There are 2 occasions where people handed the cash back listed. There must be many many more where they didn't.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 6:46 AM on February 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
Pizza is like sex: Everyone likes it a little differently and if you're sharing it with someone else you should agree on toppings.
Pizza is like sex: Some people don't like it very much. People are often surprised by this news.
Also, Pizza is like sex: I guess some people like it covered in scorpions? (And that's fine, let them have their pizza and/or sex how they like it)
Pizza is like sex: People will imagine enormous elaborate pizzas, but when it comes down to it, a simple pepperoni pizza is fine.
Pizza is like sex: The swedish are generally more open minded about it.
Pizza is like sex: Sometimes it happens at the end of a drunken night out and it maybe isn't always a good idea. But sometimes, you can enjoy a little more the morning after.
Pizza is like sex: People really overthink it.
Pizza is like sex: Italians are convinced they're great at it.
PIzza is like sex: Sure, it's fine. Very enjoyable, but it's not nearly so important as everyone makes out.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 6:56 AM on February 20, 2017 [16 favorites]
I went back and did a frame by frame analysis of the pizza delivery scene in Fast Times and I am mortified to discover that my mind had betrayed me - the place is not called "Mr. Pizza," but "The Pizza Guy."
posted by Chrysostom at 7:12 AM on February 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Chrysostom at 7:12 AM on February 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
I don't eat it quite so often anymore, maybe because I moved from New York to Boston.
Yeah. Boston pizza isn't pizza. It's thick greasy weirdness that creates a certain salty, chewy mouthfeel that one can learn to appreciate.
But it's NOT pizza.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 10:58 AM on February 20, 2017
Yeah. Boston pizza isn't pizza. It's thick greasy weirdness that creates a certain salty, chewy mouthfeel that one can learn to appreciate.
But it's NOT pizza.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 10:58 AM on February 20, 2017
So if anyone who has the knowing of it would like to recommend some ethereal pizza in and around Hell's Kitchen, I'd like to hear of it. All the stuff I've tried has obviously been aiming at quantity rather than quality.
Don Antonio on 50th and 8th looks worth a try.
posted by slkinsey at 11:35 AM on February 20, 2017
Don Antonio on 50th and 8th looks worth a try.
posted by slkinsey at 11:35 AM on February 20, 2017
Don Antonio is good -- run by the same people who run Keste in the West Village, which is my favorite fancy pizza place. You should get one of the fried options at Don Antonio; it's their specialty.
posted by naturalog at 2:54 PM on February 20, 2017
posted by naturalog at 2:54 PM on February 20, 2017
So if anyone who has the knowing of it would like to recommend some ethereal pizza in and around Hell's Kitchen, I'd like to hear of it. All the stuff I've tried has obviously been aiming at quantity rather than quality.
Are you willing to go as far as Carmine St and 7th Ave. South?
Spunto.
posted by Splunge at 4:56 PM on February 20, 2017
Are you willing to go as far as Carmine St and 7th Ave. South?
Spunto.
posted by Splunge at 4:56 PM on February 20, 2017
Is cinnamon toast a pizza?
Well its not soup is it.
If it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal in milk I'd say yes.
posted by Splunge at 4:58 PM on February 20, 2017
Well its not soup is it.
If it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal in milk I'd say yes.
posted by Splunge at 4:58 PM on February 20, 2017
i am coming into this thread late but full of anger at the last link in the OP complaining about broccoli (ideally broccolini) pizza and corn pizza, two of the best types of pizza known to mankind and anyone who's ever eaten at cheeseboard in berkeley knows this to be true
posted by burgerrr at 11:37 AM on February 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by burgerrr at 11:37 AM on February 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
Broccoli is a bit like pineapple, in the sense that it's just ok on a red pizza but incredible on a white pizza (as pictured in the article).
posted by tobascodagama at 12:02 PM on February 21, 2017
posted by tobascodagama at 12:02 PM on February 21, 2017
I used to make Swedish pizzas, where you have your basic sauce and mozzarella then top it with things like bananas and onions and canned tuna, then sprinkle it with curry powder
this is my god now
posted by obiwanwasabi at 9:12 PM on February 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
this is my god now
posted by obiwanwasabi at 9:12 PM on February 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
Onions and canned tuna is pretty good, add some capers and sliced olives while you're at it.
Apparently this website is now US politics, pizza and some other stuff.
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:25 PM on February 21, 2017
Apparently this website is now US politics, pizza and some other stuff.
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:25 PM on February 21, 2017
Though apparently Coke released a vitamin fortified version of Diet Coke a few years ago which I'm pretty sure is an answer to a question no one was asking.
Actually, it was pretty good - for some reason, the added stuff really took the edge off the 'diet' flavoring and made it hard to tell the difference. I enjoyed it, and it was a sad day when they stopped making it.
posted by mephron at 3:02 PM on February 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Actually, it was pretty good - for some reason, the added stuff really took the edge off the 'diet' flavoring and made it hard to tell the difference. I enjoyed it, and it was a sad day when they stopped making it.
posted by mephron at 3:02 PM on February 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Fig chutney and jerk chicken: how supermarkets spoiled posh pizza
posted by mumimor at 11:06 PM on February 22, 2017
posted by mumimor at 11:06 PM on February 22, 2017
Especially the McDonald's pizza. That shit looks no different from what you'd get from any other chain pizza place. It probably tastes fine.
Having eaten it a number of times back when it was available in Ontario, I can confirm this. McDonald's pizza was pretty good, if a bit small for what you paid. The crust was a bit greasy but also crispy and a little bit soft. All in all, it reminded me of what I could get at Pizza Hut.
posted by suetanvil at 11:36 PM on February 22, 2017
Having eaten it a number of times back when it was available in Ontario, I can confirm this. McDonald's pizza was pretty good, if a bit small for what you paid. The crust was a bit greasy but also crispy and a little bit soft. All in all, it reminded me of what I could get at Pizza Hut.
posted by suetanvil at 11:36 PM on February 22, 2017
Consumerist: Senators Pitch Last-Minute Attempt To Exempt Pizza Places From New Menu Labeling Law
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:24 PM on February 23, 2017
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:24 PM on February 23, 2017
I know this thread is a month old, but I couldn't sleep last night and found myself reading Pogo_Fuzzybutt's comment about eating Domino's after search and rescue escapades, and then the rest of this thread. Now I'm having lunch--which in my case would be better called breakfast except that it's after noon--at my local lousy pizza joint, the Lanesplitters on San Pablo in Berkeley. You're all with me in spirit, whether you know it or not.
(But if we were all spirits, I'd have floated over to a better pizza place for some pinapple-jalapeño, my truest of pizza loves.)
posted by tapir-whorf at 1:38 PM on March 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
(But if we were all spirits, I'd have floated over to a better pizza place for some pinapple-jalapeño, my truest of pizza loves.)
posted by tapir-whorf at 1:38 PM on March 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
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posted by skepticallypleased at 9:36 PM on February 18, 2017 [2 favorites]