Caesar, ironically, was born the usual way
February 24, 2017 6:37 PM   Subscribe

C-sections are a boon for humans, who can have very complicated birth situations due to their big heads. But they're not the only mammals with C-sections! (Note: ALL VIDEOS ARE GROSS.) posted by Eyebrows McGee (14 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
"More inside," indeed.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:44 PM on February 24, 2017 [22 favorites]

The Brain Scoop recently had a video about the evolution of human birth and the rise of C-sections. It is not gross.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 6:54 PM on February 24, 2017

Just wanted to drop in to mention that the percent of human c-section in the US is somewhat controversial because it's not very clear how much is safety need vs. hospital convenience, and there have been lawsuits for forced or coerced c-secs when women refused them. It's a corner of reproductive rights that doesn't get much attention, but IMO there is ample evidence of hospitals abusing their power over women during birth when it comes to the options they do or don't allow women to access, including vaginal birth.

Also I think there are purebred dog breeds who cannot deliver pups any other way due to large heads and/or small hips. Bulldogs, I think?

(yes it's an amazing tool when it's needed and I am glad it does save lives, including cute animal lives)
posted by emjaybee at 7:01 PM on February 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

MetaFilter Ten Years Ago: ALL VIDEOS ARE GROSS
posted by hippybear at 7:06 PM on February 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Eh, babies. I had four. Held enough babies. Yours is cute, don't need to hold it.


Oh my! Now I NEED to hold a baby gorilla!!
posted by BlueHorse at 7:34 PM on February 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

I had three C-sections, the first because the baby was complete breech and undeliverable, despite a cephalic external version which was the second most painful thing I have ever experienced. He was cross-legged with his knees locked in my pelvis; they had trouble un-sticking him to delivery him surgically! Miserable recovery since the had to shove him around a bunch and deliver him doubled over and butt-first. Big incision to get him out.

#2 was a straightforward, super-easy C-section as they felt I wasn't a good VBAC candidate. It was three minutes from entering surgery to having him out and squalling. I was walking 12 hours later, whole thing was super-easy.

#3 my uterus ruptured (two weeks early) and HOLY EFFING CRAP, worst pain in the history of the universe, it was very upsetting for the woman in the next room over in the labor suites and I feel very bad and wish I knew her name so I could send a card apologizing. Once I got to surgery it took twenty minutes to surgically deliver and I was like "Is there something wrong?" because I'd already done this twice and the LONG one took sevenish minutes, and the surgeon was like "NO IT'S FINE" and then after the baby was delivered screaming said, "Okay so actually you have a rupture and it is so not fine but now that you have a healthy baby we can tell you things are not okay and also this is your last baby, like you have a very nice uterus but it is done," and I was like "NO FUCKING SHIT, three is essentially an infinite number of children." Anyway I spent two HOURS in surgery and it is VERY BORING to be awake for surgery when it takes two hours. Like even the anesthesiologist was like OMG THIS IS TAKING FOREVER.

Also I texted cortex "I think you have to find someone to cover my shifts this weekend" and he texted back like "omg is it now?" but I didn't text back because it was seriously like ten minutes between "Hey you are having this baby like stat" and when they took away my phone so I could go into the whole emergency surgery thing. /insidemetafilter (Also my mom tried very hard to fly in that day or the next but the whole thing happened so fast, plus there were uncooperative thunderstorms, so she didn't arrive until day 3.)

Mr. McGee almost didn't make it. He dropped me at the ER and went to take Mini McGee to our friend's and I texted him like "GET BACK NOW LIKE NOW" and the nurse was like "we are delivering this baby as soon as the anesthesiologist arrives" and I was like "My husband can't be back that fast, he has to give our four-year-old to, like, a human being capable of ensuring he doesn't die" and the nurse was like "WELL SUCKS TO BE HIM, YOU ARE HAVING THIS BABY NOW." He literally sprinted from the parking garage and juuuuuuuust made it, right when I was cussing out the anesthesiologist.

Much excite, so C-section, wow.

Anyway now I am compelled to watch C-sections on youtube at excruciating length. Animal or human, doesn't matter, MUST WATCH.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:11 PM on February 24, 2017 [35 favorites]

I have many opinions!

No more Frenchies! What was going on with the cow? That poor fox!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:12 AM on February 25, 2017

> cephalic external version

I did one baby born with no pain meds and the cervical jiggering they went up in there and did to hasten things was the most painful thing, and it was about on par with a migraine, and I'm sure YOU WIN. Yikes. Too many bones, little baby! Be less bony!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:19 AM on February 25, 2017

Bloody hell, Eyebrows. *RESPECT*
posted by glasseyes at 2:53 AM on February 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

So glad you and baby made it through Eyebrows.

13 years ago next month I was in labour in a hospital known for its right-thinking, low c-section rate. It was a busy day and they closed L&d to new comers right after I got there, diverting to a different hospital.

And my daughter only lived 4 days because we didn't have one. She had the cord around her neck x2, got stuck, I pushed for 4 hours, the inexperienced nurse missed that her heart rate wasn't recovering well, then it stopped, the OB was in a different emergency surgery, we got her out, she was resuscitated but she had tons of organ, including brain, damage. She was a little fighter though.

C-sections are amazing.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:11 AM on February 25, 2017 [13 favorites]

Obligatory respect to Inés Ramírez Pérez.
posted by gottabefunky at 8:01 AM on February 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

I was doing some late-night volunteering this morning and I can tell I must be sleep deprived because when I saw this post I thought to myself, "well, I suppose there's a chance some mammals have evolved to give themselves C-section type deliveries" and then I clicked and it was of course humans doing surgery on animals.
posted by aniola at 9:35 AM on February 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

Oh warriorqueen, I am so sorry.
posted by 41swans at 11:29 AM on February 25, 2017

I'm so glad baby kitty survived in the "Cat C-Section" video. That video could inspire some people to go into veterinary science. I was also really hoping kitty would not end up an orphan after losing two siblings.

(Spoiler: Kitty bonds with Mama Cat while nursing towards the end of the video. Happy tears!)
posted by cynical pinnacle at 12:36 PM on February 25, 2017

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