Coffee.
February 26, 2017 12:02 PM Subscribe
In which McDonalds in the UK advertise [alternative] [vimeo] their coffee via illustration of some aspects of purchasing coffee from contemporary gentrified, hipsterfied or otherwise artisanal establishments. The music is Madness by Prince Buster; the song, song title and artist were an inspiration for a future group.
You're sure that second version, the video at least, wasn't titled "Ladness"?
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 12:20 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 12:20 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
I literally spit coffee over my screen on hearing the Wifi password. So... I guess I get irony points for that.
posted by schmod at 12:24 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by schmod at 12:24 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
Honestly, though, they could have just gone with that one scene from Nichijou.
posted by fifthrider at 12:38 PM on February 26, 2017 [15 favorites]
posted by fifthrider at 12:38 PM on February 26, 2017 [15 favorites]
Boy, I hate to admit liking anything McDonalds does, but this is a pretty good advert.
posted by tunewell at 12:40 PM on February 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by tunewell at 12:40 PM on February 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
So, the aim of this advert is to create a nostalgic sense of cafes, back before coffee tasted good, for people who don't understand how much things cost? Ah, the 'basic dads' market, gotcha. I'm sure that's a big moneyspinner.
posted by The River Ivel at 12:41 PM on February 26, 2017 [20 favorites]
posted by The River Ivel at 12:41 PM on February 26, 2017 [20 favorites]
So, the aim of this advert is to create a nostalgic sense of cafes, back before coffee tasted good, for people who don't understand how much things cost?
Yep, it's a McGA ad for people who are put off by the way all those crazy new-fangled coffee shops have ruined their world. Keep things simple for simple people. No tipping needed.
posted by gusottertrout at 12:47 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Yep, it's a McGA ad for people who are put off by the way all those crazy new-fangled coffee shops have ruined their world. Keep things simple for simple people. No tipping needed.
posted by gusottertrout at 12:47 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Coffeebeanplating this, but it's funny until you think about it, and now I'm in an oh god Brexit is creating a zeitgeist to ruin everything spiral, and I can't get out. Years of visiting British market towns with their single posh cafe selling Frothy Coffees and Expressos (sic), and now it'll be a thing to sneer at even more. Fuck, I emigrated for lots of reasons, but in the couple of years since I've been gone from the U.K. it has been making real moves to make sure I never ever want to go back.
Nostalgia kills countries, I swear.
posted by DangerIsMyMiddleName at 12:53 PM on February 26, 2017 [15 favorites]
Nostalgia kills countries, I swear.
posted by DangerIsMyMiddleName at 12:53 PM on February 26, 2017 [15 favorites]
McDonald's coffee tastes good, and is very reasonably priced, especially compared to the fru-fru places that this commercial pokes fun at. If this bothers you, well, good. Stop being so stuck up. Some of us can't afford, and will never be able to afford, to live the way you do.
posted by KHAAAN! at 12:54 PM on February 26, 2017 [39 favorites]
posted by KHAAAN! at 12:54 PM on February 26, 2017 [39 favorites]
Real coffee served to you by a person earning the minimum wage probably would cost about £6/cup. Suck it up or brew some at home and take it with you. I dunno. It's just coffee ffs. If speed were legal I'd just have that instead.
posted by longbaugh at 12:56 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by longbaugh at 12:56 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
McDonald's coffee tastes good, and is very reasonably priced, especially compared to the fru-fru places that this commercial pokes fun at. If this bothers you, well, good. Stop being so stuck up. Some of us can't afford, and will never be able to afford, to live the way you do.
The thing is that it's the ad which is trying to benefit by creating a faux divide between fancy-schmancy hipster coffee drinkers and those real folk who just want a good up of joe. Without the ad pushing to create that sort of one side or the other thinking, both kinds of coffee drinking can and have happily co-existed without any problem. It's the ad that's the issue, not the coffee nor the prices.
posted by gusottertrout at 1:02 PM on February 26, 2017 [33 favorites]
The thing is that it's the ad which is trying to benefit by creating a faux divide between fancy-schmancy hipster coffee drinkers and those real folk who just want a good up of joe. Without the ad pushing to create that sort of one side or the other thinking, both kinds of coffee drinking can and have happily co-existed without any problem. It's the ad that's the issue, not the coffee nor the prices.
posted by gusottertrout at 1:02 PM on February 26, 2017 [33 favorites]
Oh, lighten up. I laughed, and I go into the places that this ad is ripping the piss out of a hundred times more often than I go into MacDonald's.
posted by StephenB at 1:06 PM on February 26, 2017 [19 favorites]
posted by StephenB at 1:06 PM on February 26, 2017 [19 favorites]
This reminds me of those terrible "Fritalian" ads Dunkin Donuts ran over a decade ago (which I just realized feature Dick Casablancas/Kyle!). This one's a lot better, but it's still a pretty cynical attempt to exploit culture wars.
posted by lunasol at 1:11 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by lunasol at 1:11 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Isn't about five years too late for hipster bashing?
posted by octothorpe at 1:16 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 1:16 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
Yeah, this might be a lot more entertaining if a little voice in the back of my head wasn't going "make coffee great again".
posted by Itaxpica at 1:18 PM on February 26, 2017 [14 favorites]
posted by Itaxpica at 1:18 PM on February 26, 2017 [14 favorites]
It's never too late for hipster bashing! Hipster bashing is perennial.
I dunno. I pretty rarely get coffee from fancy places, and when I do, it's generally more because it's the price of a table than because I value fancy coffee. But there is something a little funny about using hipster bashing to position McDonald's, of all things, as some sort of bastion of authenticity.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 1:19 PM on February 26, 2017 [10 favorites]
I dunno. I pretty rarely get coffee from fancy places, and when I do, it's generally more because it's the price of a table than because I value fancy coffee. But there is something a little funny about using hipster bashing to position McDonald's, of all things, as some sort of bastion of authenticity.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 1:19 PM on February 26, 2017 [10 favorites]
The thing is that it's the ad which is trying to benefit by creating a faux divide between fancy-schmancy hipster coffee drinkers and those real folk who just want a good up of joe. Without the ad pushing to create that sort of one side or the other thinking, both kinds of coffee drinking can and have happily co-existed without any problem. It's the ad that's the issue, not the coffee nor the prices.
That's a fair point. I was responding to some of the knee-jerk reaction of comments earlier in the thread. I don't know how it is in the UK, but here in the states, these class distinctions are getting more and more polarized, to where even one's coffee preference is enough for people to judge you harshly. Everything here has devolved to the question 'You think you're better than me, don't you?'
Corporations will always play on those tensions to their own maximum benefit, of course.
posted by KHAAAN! at 1:22 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Ah, right, you're going for the anti-marketing dollar. That's smart. Lotta money in that.
posted by Happy Dave at 1:22 PM on February 26, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by Happy Dave at 1:22 PM on February 26, 2017 [9 favorites]
> Honestly, though, they could have just gone with that one scene from NichijouI thought the exact same thing!
posted by glonous keming at 1:27 PM on February 26, 2017
No tipping needed.
To be fair, this is largely due to the really crappy, cheap-ass barristanomics that dominates even in the supposed fair-trade "artisanal" cafes: even with $8 coffees, the counter staff can't make ends meet without the tip jar.
posted by bonehead at 1:31 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
To be fair, this is largely due to the really crappy, cheap-ass barristanomics that dominates even in the supposed fair-trade "artisanal" cafes: even with $8 coffees, the counter staff can't make ends meet without the tip jar.
posted by bonehead at 1:31 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
"Isn't about five years too late for hipster bashing?"
Some would say it's never too late.
posted by jonathanhughes at 1:31 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
Some would say it's never too late.
posted by jonathanhughes at 1:31 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
although if they'd used Madness performing "Madness", they could've started a whole series of commercials using their songs. Just think what McD's menu items could be built around "Our House", "It Must Be Love" or especially "House of Fun".
..and an even more appropriate song!
posted by sourwookie at 1:35 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
..and an even more appropriate song!
posted by sourwookie at 1:35 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Some would say it's never too late.
And indeed have!
:)
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:36 PM on February 26, 2017
And indeed have!
:)
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:36 PM on February 26, 2017
It's an ad for company X to sell more of product Y, to the expense of competitors. Though give it another hour or two and daresay someone will comment on the ad being the reason for no peace in the Middle East, Hillary losing to Donald, the breakdown of society or something.
I drink coffee in the kind of places in the ad, and in McDonalds. The former when I want a good long sit down, wifi, perhaps to read a book, and of course a good cup of coffee. I can put up with all the nonsense such as too many options, over-fussy serving and the like (though one place I've stopped going in as they replaced their chairs with bean bags to, quote, "stay contemporary").
The latter, increasingly more recently, when I find myself hanging around a hospital for reasons but am mobile. There's been a noticeable trend for UK hospitals (or the ones I've spent time in the last three years) to replace their in-house cafes with chains where the coffee is similar or (often) worse, but the cost is a *lot* more. And more than on the high street. If I'm hanging around there, I usually want a coffee not for the taste, experience, to do a few hours of work etc. but as a caffeine hit. That's where the nearest McDonalds - and there often seems to be one close to a hospital - comes in useful. The coffee isn't going to win prizes for taste, but it's quickly served, I can drink it in there or take it away, and the wifi always works (UK hospital wifi differs between free, to expensive, to no signal).
McDonalds also isn't the only cheap coffee chain. Greggs are fairly similar in limited range and price. Wetherspoons are even cheaper for their basic coffee and you get free refills in many places until early afternoon (though because of overhearing one too many drunken racist remark from other customers, especially since Brexit, I don't go in their places any more).
Back on the ad and I LOLed hard on the sequence with the soul-crushed Barista, which was harshly perfect. Wish there was a category in the oscars tonight for "Best brief appearance in a TV ad".
posted by Wordshore at 1:37 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
I drink coffee in the kind of places in the ad, and in McDonalds. The former when I want a good long sit down, wifi, perhaps to read a book, and of course a good cup of coffee. I can put up with all the nonsense such as too many options, over-fussy serving and the like (though one place I've stopped going in as they replaced their chairs with bean bags to, quote, "stay contemporary").
The latter, increasingly more recently, when I find myself hanging around a hospital for reasons but am mobile. There's been a noticeable trend for UK hospitals (or the ones I've spent time in the last three years) to replace their in-house cafes with chains where the coffee is similar or (often) worse, but the cost is a *lot* more. And more than on the high street. If I'm hanging around there, I usually want a coffee not for the taste, experience, to do a few hours of work etc. but as a caffeine hit. That's where the nearest McDonalds - and there often seems to be one close to a hospital - comes in useful. The coffee isn't going to win prizes for taste, but it's quickly served, I can drink it in there or take it away, and the wifi always works (UK hospital wifi differs between free, to expensive, to no signal).
McDonalds also isn't the only cheap coffee chain. Greggs are fairly similar in limited range and price. Wetherspoons are even cheaper for their basic coffee and you get free refills in many places until early afternoon (though because of overhearing one too many drunken racist remark from other customers, especially since Brexit, I don't go in their places any more).
Back on the ad and I LOLed hard on the sequence with the soul-crushed Barista, which was harshly perfect. Wish there was a category in the oscars tonight for "Best brief appearance in a TV ad".
posted by Wordshore at 1:37 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
IRL I have walked by 30 unhappy-looking people standing in line at the Starbucks cart at O'Hare at 6:00 am to the McDonalds where nobody is waiting in line to get a cup of coffee. And it's not bad coffee.
posted by lagomorphius at 1:44 PM on February 26, 2017 [15 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 1:44 PM on February 26, 2017 [15 favorites]
Companies have been making this exact commercial for years: you don't want fancy, overpriced X, you want down-to-earth, honest, economical X! Because that's the kind of person you are.
It hardly needs further analysis on the nostalgia, Brexit, MAGA, axes of topicality.
posted by Emma May Smith at 1:50 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
It hardly needs further analysis on the nostalgia, Brexit, MAGA, axes of topicality.
posted by Emma May Smith at 1:50 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
In a world where adults ask other adults for a box of McNuggets by waiting in line to roll down their car windows and shout into a plastic clown's mouth, McDonald's is throwing shade at coffee shops about sprawling menus, obnoxious behavior, and cutesy names for menu items.
posted by lefty lucky cat at 1:51 PM on February 26, 2017 [27 favorites]
posted by lefty lucky cat at 1:51 PM on February 26, 2017 [27 favorites]
Producer: Lo-Slung Denim
posted by fullerine at 1:57 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by fullerine at 1:57 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
...although if they'd used Madness performing...
..and an even more appropriate song!
Gah! Have now fallen down a Madness rabbit hole and am loudly playing One Step Beyond (does walking dance around living room). Oh, remembered: previously on MetaFilter...
posted by Wordshore at 1:57 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
..and an even more appropriate song!
Gah! Have now fallen down a Madness rabbit hole and am loudly playing One Step Beyond (does walking dance around living room). Oh, remembered: previously on MetaFilter...
posted by Wordshore at 1:57 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Coffee's horrible. It's just some burnt stuff mixed with scalding water. And people who drink it smell like they've been drinking burnt stuff. We keep some shitty granules in the house in case someone visits and wants some; hopefully it's awful enough that they won't ask again.
We do, however, have a wonderful selection of herbal and conventional teas. Could I suggest the peppermint and liquorice? Or perhaps the rooibos with Madagascan vanilla?
posted by pipeski at 2:10 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
We do, however, have a wonderful selection of herbal and conventional teas. Could I suggest the peppermint and liquorice? Or perhaps the rooibos with Madagascan vanilla?
posted by pipeski at 2:10 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
We do, however, have a wonderful selection of herbal and conventional teas.
posted by Wordshore at 2:13 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Wordshore at 2:13 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
I can't speak for McDonalds' coffee, this ad is clearly making a play for mental ownership of the greasy spoon market, i.e. squeezing out small businesses by positioning themselves as the underdog. Go them, I guess. One former UK TV ad (probably also available on YT, but search defeats me) also sought to position them as an everyman's food/drink venue. Gee, the older White-British guy can share space with young Black-British guys, who'da thunk? (Er, everyone thanks!).
I went on a daytrip to Canterbury recently. Beautiful English city, great mix of the modern and the historic. Found a funny little French-themed shop for a cup of tea rather than the name brand places. Support small business, says I. Mix with everyone, even the (other) tourists. I'm loiving it.
posted by comealongpole at 2:14 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
I went on a daytrip to Canterbury recently. Beautiful English city, great mix of the modern and the historic. Found a funny little French-themed shop for a cup of tea rather than the name brand places. Support small business, says I. Mix with everyone, even the (other) tourists. I'm l
posted by comealongpole at 2:14 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
Just think what McD's menu items could be built around "Our House", "It Must Be Love" or especially "House of Fun".
Would you settle for toothpaste?
posted by Sys Rq at 2:18 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Would you settle for toothpaste?
posted by Sys Rq at 2:18 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
My friend used to get coffee from the cafeteria every morning in high school. It was horrible. When I asked him why he drank such awful coffee, he said it was so that good coffee would seem like a treat. It made sense at the time, probably because I didn't get any sleep in high school, so I started doing the same.
In retrospect I think he was just drinking the cafeteria coffee because it was there, and I was just gullible.
Anyway, I can't drink coffee anymore because of stomach problems, but the point is I would, in theory, drink whatever coffee comes my way, because literally nothing will ever be as bad as the coffee in my high school cafeteria.
I think when I started writing this comment it was more directly relevant to this thread. Anyway, there's room in the world for a whole range of coffees. I thought it was a cute ad, mostly because of Prince Buster.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:19 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
In retrospect I think he was just drinking the cafeteria coffee because it was there, and I was just gullible.
Anyway, I can't drink coffee anymore because of stomach problems, but the point is I would, in theory, drink whatever coffee comes my way, because literally nothing will ever be as bad as the coffee in my high school cafeteria.
I think when I started writing this comment it was more directly relevant to this thread. Anyway, there's room in the world for a whole range of coffees. I thought it was a cute ad, mostly because of Prince Buster.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:19 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
I have definitely:
- Accidentally ordered a tiny coffee instead of a normal coffee
- Stared at a long list of types of coffee trying to remember which one it was I had last time that I liked
- Tried to find the right loyalty card in my wallet
I do like coffee, and probably would enjoy a coffee from a trendy coffee place more than McDonald's though. If I can remember which is the one I like.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:21 PM on February 26, 2017 [6 favorites]
- Accidentally ordered a tiny coffee instead of a normal coffee
- Stared at a long list of types of coffee trying to remember which one it was I had last time that I liked
- Tried to find the right loyalty card in my wallet
I do like coffee, and probably would enjoy a coffee from a trendy coffee place more than McDonald's though. If I can remember which is the one I like.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:21 PM on February 26, 2017 [6 favorites]
Wow, that hits close to home. With that said, if I'm going to drink cheap coffee it's always Dunks FTW.
posted by photoslob at 2:25 PM on February 26, 2017
posted by photoslob at 2:25 PM on February 26, 2017
For each artisanal hipster speciality café, there are dozens of little shops where they serve much better value for money than McD's. I see this more as desperate straw café beating than anything else, as I notice how young people actively seek the homey cafeterias and tea-parlors rather than chains.
posted by mumimor at 2:26 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mumimor at 2:26 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
One time my then-girlfriend ordered an espresso at a fancy coffee place, and the guy who made it got really mad when she didn't pick it up right away, because she had run into someone she knew and wanted to say hi. The barista angrily said "espresso goes bad in about 10 seconds, so if you didn't want it now you should have said something."
It was funny at the time, but I kind of like knowing people take coffee so seriously, because if I took coffee that seriously, I'd probably be frustrated if a coffee shop like that did not exist.
I'm sorry, I think coffee makes me free associate, or something.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:28 PM on February 26, 2017 [11 favorites]
It was funny at the time, but I kind of like knowing people take coffee so seriously, because if I took coffee that seriously, I'd probably be frustrated if a coffee shop like that did not exist.
I'm sorry, I think coffee makes me free associate, or something.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:28 PM on February 26, 2017 [11 favorites]
- Stared at a long list of types of coffee trying to remember which one it was I had last time that I likedOh gosh, this is the worst. Sometimes I just need some caffeine before I can function, and I'm completely overwhelmed by all the choices, and there's no way I can confront that menu until after I've had some coffee, which I can't do, because I need to confront the menu before I can order coffee. I'm pretty sure that I have actually said "just give me whatever is the most popular," which probably doesn't go over well with upscale coffee-shop people. Luckily, I would need some caffeine before I could recognize the barista's disdain.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 2:36 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
That's a funny ad. And then I remember what a society awash in mind-fuckery in the name of commerce has wrought. So, it's funny, in a "if I had a time machine I'd go back and kill Bernays in his crib" sort of way.
posted by mondo dentro at 2:37 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mondo dentro at 2:37 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
creating a faux divide between fancy-schmancy hipster coffee drinkers and those real folk who just want a good up of joe.
There's nothing wrong with creating such a divide in some arbitrary place for purposes of classification of coffee shops. Why shouldn't we judge and categorize them? For practically everyone there is a line that can be drawn somewhere, beyond which things get too far into whatever hipster frippery nonsense McDonalds would like you to be thinking of right now. Laughing at those who come a bit close to the line seems like good fun.
The problem is that there's another line to draw at the other end of the spectrum, beyond which things get too bland multinational corporate franchise to be in any way appealing. Fooling you into thinking that the two lines are one is a nasty trick, because all the good places are in between them.
posted by sfenders at 2:44 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
There's nothing wrong with creating such a divide in some arbitrary place for purposes of classification of coffee shops. Why shouldn't we judge and categorize them? For practically everyone there is a line that can be drawn somewhere, beyond which things get too far into whatever hipster frippery nonsense McDonalds would like you to be thinking of right now. Laughing at those who come a bit close to the line seems like good fun.
The problem is that there's another line to draw at the other end of the spectrum, beyond which things get too bland multinational corporate franchise to be in any way appealing. Fooling you into thinking that the two lines are one is a nasty trick, because all the good places are in between them.
posted by sfenders at 2:44 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
Some of us can't afford, and will never be able to afford, to live the way you do.
um i can't afford it either
i'm just really committed to making bad financial choices, so slow ur roll
Everything here has devolved to the question 'You think you're better than me, don't you?'
oh, now i see what you were saying
posted by listen, lady at 2:56 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
um i can't afford it either
i'm just really committed to making bad financial choices, so slow ur roll
Everything here has devolved to the question 'You think you're better than me, don't you?'
oh, now i see what you were saying
posted by listen, lady at 2:56 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
Also it's kinda ironic to realize that odds are the marketing types behind this ad would never be caught dead getting coffee at a McDonalds.
posted by Itaxpica at 3:03 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Itaxpica at 3:03 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Here's earlier American version of that ad.
posted by octothorpe at 3:06 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 3:06 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
Brexit's set to make a lot of Britons poorer.
Best to let them think they don't really like the pretentious stuff they will soon no longer be able to afford anyway.
posted by jamjam at 3:16 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
Best to let them think they don't really like the pretentious stuff they will soon no longer be able to afford anyway.
posted by jamjam at 3:16 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
I thought the song was My Boy (Girl) Lollipop, at first.
posted by 41swans at 3:16 PM on February 26, 2017
posted by 41swans at 3:16 PM on February 26, 2017
A few days ago I paid $5 or $6 for a drink at one of the better-rated coffee shops on this side of the city, only to be very underwhelmed. The $1 coffee at McDonalds is legitimately much better, not just as a budget alternative.
It's a good ad, because even those of us who prefer hipster places have had some of the experiences shown -- the enormous menu board covered in hard-to-read chalk writing is one that I seem to keep running into, including at some local beer places.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:19 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
It's a good ad, because even those of us who prefer hipster places have had some of the experiences shown -- the enormous menu board covered in hard-to-read chalk writing is one that I seem to keep running into, including at some local beer places.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:19 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
McDonald's coffee tastes good
??
Are we talking about the same coffee that magically tastes watery and burnt at the same time? The stuff that comes out of the pot they've kept on the hotplate for the last 4 hours?
Also I like how there's only one indirect mention in the thread of paying the people who actually have to pick the coffee, because in the made up authenticity war between coffee snobs and salt of the earth shitty coffee drinkers who the fuck cares about the developing world--we've got identities to defend!
posted by danny the boy at 4:23 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
??
Are we talking about the same coffee that magically tastes watery and burnt at the same time? The stuff that comes out of the pot they've kept on the hotplate for the last 4 hours?
Also I like how there's only one indirect mention in the thread of paying the people who actually have to pick the coffee, because in the made up authenticity war between coffee snobs and salt of the earth shitty coffee drinkers who the fuck cares about the developing world--we've got identities to defend!
posted by danny the boy at 4:23 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Best to let them think they don't really like the pretentious stuff they will soon no longer be able to afford anyway.
That's all foreign stuff anyway. Better stick to authentic British products such as black tea promoted by funny chimps, and instant coffee.
posted by effbot at 4:30 PM on February 26, 2017
That's all foreign stuff anyway. Better stick to authentic British products such as black tea promoted by funny chimps, and instant coffee.
posted by effbot at 4:30 PM on February 26, 2017
We're talking about McDonald's coffee in the UK. As long as you don't have a latte or cappuccino, yes, they're the best chainstore coffee in the UK, by some way. Actually, if Pret à Manger & Eat count, they're good. But McDonald's >> Costa or Starbucks.
posted by ambrosen at 4:33 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by ambrosen at 4:33 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
You know, if you go to a local coffee place and find all the options mystifying, most of them (at least here in the US, which I realize is not where this ad is running) will also have regular drip coffee on the menu! Which is what I usually order because I think lattes are flavorless. I even live in Seattle! And they haven't kicked me out yet.
posted by lunasol at 4:33 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by lunasol at 4:33 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Last time I walked into a hipster artisanal bakery/coffee shop in downtown Portland and asked for a coffee...
It cost $1.65 and had free refills?
posted by Zalzidrax at 4:40 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
It cost $1.65 and had free refills?
posted by Zalzidrax at 4:40 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
I'm a Wilkins Coffee man. Good enough for Jim Henson, good enough for me.
posted by 4ster at 5:22 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by 4ster at 5:22 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
Mc Ds coffee is legitimately good. Unlike everything else at McDonald's it is designed to be consumed without excess sugar, which is great. It tastes good black unlike others (cough cough Dunkin). It is essentially Starbucks pike place roast.
Also if you can afford to buy artisanal coffee as a habit, go into your local McDonald's every morning instead and I guarantee it will raise your awareness of the class divide. You can even tip your cashier to bring their wages up to 15/hour! Then they'll give you a large when you order a medium and you can both stick it to mcD.
posted by The Ted at 5:31 PM on February 26, 2017 [8 favorites]
Also if you can afford to buy artisanal coffee as a habit, go into your local McDonald's every morning instead and I guarantee it will raise your awareness of the class divide. You can even tip your cashier to bring their wages up to 15/hour! Then they'll give you a large when you order a medium and you can both stick it to mcD.
posted by The Ted at 5:31 PM on February 26, 2017 [8 favorites]
I sometimes enjoy fancy, overly-precious things. I also enjoy poking fun at things for being fancy and overly precious.
I'm more likely to end up at Ozone Coffee than McDonald's the next time in London, but that's exactly why I enjoyed the ad.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:38 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm more likely to end up at Ozone Coffee than McDonald's the next time in London, but that's exactly why I enjoyed the ad.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:38 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
McDonalds knows what their central appeal is. That no matter where you are geographically, whether it's in the Walmart Supercenter of Lubbock, Texas or a busy plaza in Kowloon, Hong Kong, as long as you see the Golden Arches you are now pretty much occupying a single space (of course with some minimal differences due to local language, prices, and promotions).
So, the ad to me is just an understanding of what McDonald's is and isn't. Yeah, it pokes fun at local coffee places and cafes, but at same time those local cafes look pretty nice and are filled with customers.
posted by FJT at 5:43 PM on February 26, 2017
So, the ad to me is just an understanding of what McDonald's is and isn't. Yeah, it pokes fun at local coffee places and cafes, but at same time those local cafes look pretty nice and are filled with customers.
posted by FJT at 5:43 PM on February 26, 2017
One thing McD's isn't is filled with laptop warriors taking up all of the seats.
posted by grumpybear69 at 5:47 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 5:47 PM on February 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
You know, if you go to a local coffee place and find all the options mystifying, most of them (at least here in the US, which I realize is not where this ad is running) will also have regular drip coffee on the menu!See, at most coffee places, this is true. You can order a latte or an espresso, etc., but you can also just order a coffee. But at some coffee places, they don't just have "coffee." You select the specific blend you want, and then they grind the beans and make your coffee, pour-over style. And if it's first thing in the morning and you are me, you're standing there trying to remember the difference between Ethiopian and Guatemalan coffee and frantically wishing that you could mainline NoDoze before you had to talk to anyone or make any decisions. But that's probably just me.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:48 PM on February 26, 2017 [6 favorites]
You know, if you go to a local coffee place and find all the options mystifying, most of them (at least here in the US, which I realize is not where this ad is running) will also have regular drip coffee on the menu!
I have tried to order a "black coffee" and been rebuffed until I'd clarified my order to a specific size of americano more than once.
posted by Dysk at 5:54 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
I have tried to order a "black coffee" and been rebuffed until I'd clarified my order to a specific size of americano more than once.
posted by Dysk at 5:54 PM on February 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
Oh, I remember when coffee shops had free wifi. Sigh. The good old days.
-A San Franciscan
posted by greermahoney at 5:55 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
-A San Franciscan
posted by greermahoney at 5:55 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
You know, if you go to a local coffee place and find all the options mystifying, most of them (at least here in the US, which I realize is not where this ad is running) will also have regular drip coffee on the menu!
When I was in grad school the closest coffee shop to my flat was the most hipster place possible in LA. I went in once, and was traumatized that when I asked for plain coffee because I was overwhelmed the barista stood back and sneeringly told me that they didn't sell straight coffee. Then waited 10 seconds to tell me he would make me an Americano, which was what they did make, and afterwards shook the tip jar in my face. I never went back and rejoiced when they went out of business when a Starbucks opened. (I do feel a bit ashamed about that.)
Since then I do not trust that asking for drip coffee will not result in mockery.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 5:58 PM on February 26, 2017 [6 favorites]
When I was in grad school the closest coffee shop to my flat was the most hipster place possible in LA. I went in once, and was traumatized that when I asked for plain coffee because I was overwhelmed the barista stood back and sneeringly told me that they didn't sell straight coffee. Then waited 10 seconds to tell me he would make me an Americano, which was what they did make, and afterwards shook the tip jar in my face. I never went back and rejoiced when they went out of business when a Starbucks opened. (I do feel a bit ashamed about that.)
Since then I do not trust that asking for drip coffee will not result in mockery.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 5:58 PM on February 26, 2017 [6 favorites]
There are coffee shops without free WIFI?
posted by octothorpe at 6:04 PM on February 26, 2017
posted by octothorpe at 6:04 PM on February 26, 2017
Pittsburgh's still fifteen years behind San Francisco on some things, octothorpe. Give it time.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 6:17 PM on February 26, 2017
posted by Mister Moofoo at 6:17 PM on February 26, 2017
Then waited 10 seconds to tell me he would make me an Americano
Last weekend I paid about 3.75 for a coffee at a more fancy coffee place (they only had pour over and a choice of three different countries of origin to choose from). It was decent, but I realized after studying the menu closer I could have had an Americano for a dollar less. AND, this was because my stupid self on that day decided to try something new, instead of going to the Chinese super market which served regular black coffee for 1.49 (99c if you buy a Chinese pastry with it, which is typically 1.25)
As you can see, I'm still kicking myself a little over that.
posted by FJT at 6:25 PM on February 26, 2017
Last weekend I paid about 3.75 for a coffee at a more fancy coffee place (they only had pour over and a choice of three different countries of origin to choose from). It was decent, but I realized after studying the menu closer I could have had an Americano for a dollar less. AND, this was because my stupid self on that day decided to try something new, instead of going to the Chinese super market which served regular black coffee for 1.49 (99c if you buy a Chinese pastry with it, which is typically 1.25)
As you can see, I'm still kicking myself a little over that.
posted by FJT at 6:25 PM on February 26, 2017
Isn't about five years too late for hipster bashing?
I started hipster bashing way before it went mainstream.
posted by condour75 at 6:38 PM on February 26, 2017 [8 favorites]
I started hipster bashing way before it went mainstream.
posted by condour75 at 6:38 PM on February 26, 2017 [8 favorites]
I pretty much always just say "I'd like a medium coffee to go" at coffee shops and get a 16oz drip coffee handed to me without complaint or rolled eyes.
Also free WIFI at the coffee shop next to my office totally saved my project because we were building against a development library that was being distributed to us on Dropbox but our company blocks that site on the corporate network. Every time there was a new release dropped we'd have to send an engineer next door with a laptop to download it.
posted by octothorpe at 6:40 PM on February 26, 2017
Also free WIFI at the coffee shop next to my office totally saved my project because we were building against a development library that was being distributed to us on Dropbox but our company blocks that site on the corporate network. Every time there was a new release dropped we'd have to send an engineer next door with a laptop to download it.
posted by octothorpe at 6:40 PM on February 26, 2017
If a place has that many blends, you can generally ask if they have a house blend, the same way as if you know bupkus about wine, you can ask if a restaurant has a house white. It makes you sound enough like you know what you're talking about to get to the next question.
More on topic, a lot of fast food coffee has gotten better over the years. The black coffee you get from McDonalds these days is not the same bitter water we got used to before coffee snobbery hit critical mass. I think it's partly because people are fussier about what they'll tolerate, and partially that industrial coffee maker technology has improved.
Personally, if I want a cheap cup of coffee I go to a local convenience store chain called QuickCheck. They have enough turnover that the coffee is always fresh and if I bring my own mug I only pay for a medium refill. It's cheaper than McDonalds that way. If I want the high end experience I'm... probably going to a tea shop instead. Sorry, I'm a poor example there.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:58 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
More on topic, a lot of fast food coffee has gotten better over the years. The black coffee you get from McDonalds these days is not the same bitter water we got used to before coffee snobbery hit critical mass. I think it's partly because people are fussier about what they'll tolerate, and partially that industrial coffee maker technology has improved.
Personally, if I want a cheap cup of coffee I go to a local convenience store chain called QuickCheck. They have enough turnover that the coffee is always fresh and if I bring my own mug I only pay for a medium refill. It's cheaper than McDonalds that way. If I want the high end experience I'm... probably going to a tea shop instead. Sorry, I'm a poor example there.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:58 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Sorry, McDonald's, Dunkin' Donuts did it first (and, yes, that is who you think it is narrating the end of the commercial).
posted by adamg at 7:32 PM on February 26, 2017
posted by adamg at 7:32 PM on February 26, 2017
> little shops where they serve much better value for money than McD's
Philz might seem expensive, but ask 'em to see the scoop sometime. I've been ratcheting up my ratio for pour over and 30 grams for a 400ml cup is usually enough, so not even 1:10. I think Philz is between 1:8 and 1:5. Enough beans in one cup for a whole pot at McD's. According to Peet's ratios, that'll give you underextracted brew; more a waste than a taste problem. Whether that's value or conspicuous consumption, I can't decide.
posted by ASCII Costanza head at 7:45 PM on February 26, 2017
Philz might seem expensive, but ask 'em to see the scoop sometime. I've been ratcheting up my ratio for pour over and 30 grams for a 400ml cup is usually enough, so not even 1:10. I think Philz is between 1:8 and 1:5. Enough beans in one cup for a whole pot at McD's. According to Peet's ratios, that'll give you underextracted brew; more a waste than a taste problem. Whether that's value or conspicuous consumption, I can't decide.
posted by ASCII Costanza head at 7:45 PM on February 26, 2017
It's been a lLONG time since I've seen an ad.
So I actually tried it again.
Nope. SOSDD.
ALTHO when I drove from WA to central MT a few years back ... zero bars on the coffeemeter ... MacD's was always around, and not half bad. Just be careful, when they hand you a cup in the drive-through, NOT to squeeze it. It's freakin hot.
posted by Twang at 7:51 PM on February 26, 2017
So I actually tried it again.
Nope. SOSDD.
ALTHO when I drove from WA to central MT a few years back ... zero bars on the coffeemeter ... MacD's was always around, and not half bad. Just be careful, when they hand you a cup in the drive-through, NOT to squeeze it. It's freakin hot.
posted by Twang at 7:51 PM on February 26, 2017
"Oh gosh, this is the worst. Sometimes I just need some caffeine before I can function..."
I think there needs to be a word for needing coffee so badly that you actually can't get the coffee in the first place. Usually for me it's getting to the front of the line and realizing that I've completely forgotten to bring any kind of monetary instrument. Or letting the kettle boil with no water in it. Or forgetting to put in the grounds. It's kinda pathetic.
I don't get paralyzed by choice, though. It's always just simple black coffee or an americano, if the place has crap drip coffee.
posted by kaibutsu at 8:31 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
I think there needs to be a word for needing coffee so badly that you actually can't get the coffee in the first place. Usually for me it's getting to the front of the line and realizing that I've completely forgotten to bring any kind of monetary instrument. Or letting the kettle boil with no water in it. Or forgetting to put in the grounds. It's kinda pathetic.
I don't get paralyzed by choice, though. It's always just simple black coffee or an americano, if the place has crap drip coffee.
posted by kaibutsu at 8:31 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
an Americano is not a brewed coffee. it's watery espresso. I don't like espresso - and it's worse when watery. When I ask for a coffee, I want a brewed coffee - drip or press, I don't care. But none of this watery imitation.
posted by jb at 8:59 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by jb at 8:59 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
I've had the "deconstructed Latte" that they show in this TVC. It was incredibly annoying. I had no idea what I was getting into when I ordered it. If I want a latte I actually want the milk, water and coffee in the SAME cup, thanks.
I found this hilarious, and I'm totally the person that goes to these hipster coffee shops.
posted by rednikki at 9:14 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
I found this hilarious, and I'm totally the person that goes to these hipster coffee shops.
posted by rednikki at 9:14 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
I think the only thing I've learned from this thread is that McDonald's coffee and artisanal coffee both serve very different markets and are enjoyable for different reasons, and I'm very happy to have both options available. I sure as hell wouldn't bother with hipster coffee at 6 in the morning, but I wouldn't ask to meet a friend for coffee at a McDonalds.
posted by InkDrinker at 10:06 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by InkDrinker at 10:06 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
One thing McD's isn't is filled with laptop warriors taking up all of the seats.
Funnily, when taking a bike tour around France, McDonalds was found in almost every town, and always had free WiFi. I don't make a habit of buying any of the food they serve, but I would get a coffee, and do whatever work I needed to do on my tiny little netbook (this was a few years ago...)
McDonalds is huge in France. Hipster bash all you want, but France is filled with incredible, what we Yanks would call "artisanal" bakeries, butchers, pastry shops, farm to table restaurants where you can be greeted by the very geese you'll indulge in the liver of (or, whatever),
and lines out the doors of their McDonalds.
Coffee by and large, sucked.
I also sometimes worked at $fancy_coffee_shop (in a weird way, it's therapeutic). We've got drip. If you leave your espresso out too long talking to someone you haven't seen in forever, I'll ask if I could make you another, because I want you to have a good drink. If you don't understand a menu item, I can happily explain it, and let you know that if you order it, and you don't care for it, I'll just make you something else you may like better. There's fancy coffee treats you can indulge in, and there's customer service. Good in the former does not automatically mean bad in the latter. Maybe it's tied to regional differences, but it's nice to be in a friendly part of the country, I guess. Ha! End Coffee Wench Rant, I guess!
posted by alex_skazat at 10:30 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
Funnily, when taking a bike tour around France, McDonalds was found in almost every town, and always had free WiFi. I don't make a habit of buying any of the food they serve, but I would get a coffee, and do whatever work I needed to do on my tiny little netbook (this was a few years ago...)
McDonalds is huge in France. Hipster bash all you want, but France is filled with incredible, what we Yanks would call "artisanal" bakeries, butchers, pastry shops, farm to table restaurants where you can be greeted by the very geese you'll indulge in the liver of (or, whatever),
and lines out the doors of their McDonalds.
Coffee by and large, sucked.
I also sometimes worked at $fancy_coffee_shop (in a weird way, it's therapeutic). We've got drip. If you leave your espresso out too long talking to someone you haven't seen in forever, I'll ask if I could make you another, because I want you to have a good drink. If you don't understand a menu item, I can happily explain it, and let you know that if you order it, and you don't care for it, I'll just make you something else you may like better. There's fancy coffee treats you can indulge in, and there's customer service. Good in the former does not automatically mean bad in the latter. Maybe it's tied to regional differences, but it's nice to be in a friendly part of the country, I guess. Ha! End Coffee Wench Rant, I guess!
posted by alex_skazat at 10:30 PM on February 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
"Walmart Supercenter of Lubbock, Texas"
Coincidentally, my ex-brother-in-law once owned that McDonalds.
I'm a self-described coffee asshole, and I drink McDonalds coffee a decent amount. Sometimes I want to have the real good stuff (Blue Bottle, Eightfold, Dinosaur, Andante, Intelligencia, Bru, or one of the million other fancy places within 3 miles of my part of Los Angeles). Other times I want to hit up a drive-thru at 5:30am and say "medium coffee 1 cream 1 sugar inside" and spend $1 and wait 2 minutes.
My only issue is that a lot of stores get a little lazy brewing fresh coffee once lunch time comes. But, I know I can hit up any of the 1000s of McDonalds in the US at 10am and get something halfway decent.
posted by sideshow at 10:43 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Coincidentally, my ex-brother-in-law once owned that McDonalds.
I'm a self-described coffee asshole, and I drink McDonalds coffee a decent amount. Sometimes I want to have the real good stuff (Blue Bottle, Eightfold, Dinosaur, Andante, Intelligencia, Bru, or one of the million other fancy places within 3 miles of my part of Los Angeles). Other times I want to hit up a drive-thru at 5:30am and say "medium coffee 1 cream 1 sugar inside" and spend $1 and wait 2 minutes.
My only issue is that a lot of stores get a little lazy brewing fresh coffee once lunch time comes. But, I know I can hit up any of the 1000s of McDonalds in the US at 10am and get something halfway decent.
posted by sideshow at 10:43 PM on February 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm going to step away from this thread until I've finished my home-brewed-but-fancy-pants coffee. Then, if I'm still feeling the rage, I'm going to tell fucking McDonald's to fuck right off.
posted by mushhushshu at 11:53 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mushhushshu at 11:53 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
OK, coffee drunk, zwodder banished.
I don't get the hatred towards having choice in coffee, and would like to compare attitudes to, say, crazy over-fussy beer choices. Bad coffee is terrible, but so is bad anything.
Personally, I don't drink much alcohol, so coffee is my thing. In 12 years I've gone from milky, sugary instant coffee to black Americano or (if time is pressing) espresso. Trust me: if you're drinking coffee black, the brewing method and choice of beans make a lot of difference.
And McDonald's can still fuck off. As a company it brings to the world nothing but empty calories and terrible jobs.
(Maybe I need more coffee.)
posted by mushhushshu at 12:15 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
I don't get the hatred towards having choice in coffee, and would like to compare attitudes to, say, crazy over-fussy beer choices. Bad coffee is terrible, but so is bad anything.
Personally, I don't drink much alcohol, so coffee is my thing. In 12 years I've gone from milky, sugary instant coffee to black Americano or (if time is pressing) espresso. Trust me: if you're drinking coffee black, the brewing method and choice of beans make a lot of difference.
And McDonald's can still fuck off. As a company it brings to the world nothing but empty calories and terrible jobs.
(Maybe I need more coffee.)
posted by mushhushshu at 12:15 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
Then they'll give you a large when you order a medium and you can both stick it to mcD.
Last time I got McD coffee it was 1$ for any size! And yeah, pretty decent with it. Their breakfast sandwiches also hit the spot. I love a good fancy-coffee-shop coffee, but the allure of McDonald's on a road trip is undeniable.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:34 AM on February 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
Last time I got McD coffee it was 1$ for any size! And yeah, pretty decent with it. Their breakfast sandwiches also hit the spot. I love a good fancy-coffee-shop coffee, but the allure of McDonald's on a road trip is undeniable.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:34 AM on February 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
There's fancy coffee treats you can indulge in, and there's customer service.
This is the appeal of McDonalds coffee (and Wetherspoon's coffee, which I'm drinking right now), you get a little as possible of either. I'm drinking a perfectly decent cup of black drip brew that cost me a quid and that I can refill gratis for the next three hours. It's not bad, but it sure isn't fancy. And I had to deal with an absolute minimum of customer service, which is a complete win for me (I don't care if your customer service is 'good' or 'bad' I just want as little if it as possible, as little interaction with other humans as I can get away with). Fancy coffee places offer neither of these. There's a time for fancy coffee and putting up with a fussier, more involved customer service (and there's a great little independent Italian place for those times), but that time is not breakfast.
Now if I could get great coffee somewhere where they'd also leave me utterly alone, that'd be amazing. Never found such a place though.
posted by Dysk at 3:04 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
This is the appeal of McDonalds coffee (and Wetherspoon's coffee, which I'm drinking right now), you get a little as possible of either. I'm drinking a perfectly decent cup of black drip brew that cost me a quid and that I can refill gratis for the next three hours. It's not bad, but it sure isn't fancy. And I had to deal with an absolute minimum of customer service, which is a complete win for me (I don't care if your customer service is 'good' or 'bad' I just want as little if it as possible, as little interaction with other humans as I can get away with). Fancy coffee places offer neither of these. There's a time for fancy coffee and putting up with a fussier, more involved customer service (and there's a great little independent Italian place for those times), but that time is not breakfast.
Now if I could get great coffee somewhere where they'd also leave me utterly alone, that'd be amazing. Never found such a place though.
posted by Dysk at 3:04 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
IRL I have walked by 30 unhappy-looking people standing in line at the Starbucks cart at O'Hare at 6:00 am to the McDonalds where nobody is waiting in line to get a cup of coffee. And it's not bad coffee.
Yep. And it's a third the price. A third. That's actually pretty amazing.
posted by zardoz at 3:28 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
Yep. And it's a third the price. A third. That's actually pretty amazing.
posted by zardoz at 3:28 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
I tend to avoid McDonald's coffee because there are only so many times one should do a thing before acknowledging the problem is the abuser, not the abused. But with that said I've once had a sausage muffin and coffee at a McDonald's in Seoul that was tasty without the boosted-to-eleven sensation that usually indicates flavoring agents, and unlike at McD's in the States the coffee was not hot enough to melt aluminum.
However my go-to road coffee is usually found at gas stations. You can smell the pots before pouring to see whether there's anything off, the clerk won't give you the side-eye if you fill a thermos, and you'll usually be charged the price of a large or extra-large cup for the thermos-full, putting the price-per-ounce far below those of the fast food chains. When driving in the cold dark of early morning, having gotten up at oh-dot-stupid with daybreak barely casting enough light to silhouette the hills to the east, the occasional pull from the thermos in the cup holder is necessary for the mix of nostalgia and aloneness and adventure that you know is going to dissipate once the highway's full of cars and the daylight's taken the mystery out of the vista. An expertly brewed cup of coffee would not improve the moment.
But I also save for the occasional treat, a barista's choice varietal pour-over at one of the good shops here in town when I want a pure communion with coffeeness itself. It too is a pleasure. It's good to like different kinds of a thing.
posted by ardgedee at 4:31 AM on February 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
However my go-to road coffee is usually found at gas stations. You can smell the pots before pouring to see whether there's anything off, the clerk won't give you the side-eye if you fill a thermos, and you'll usually be charged the price of a large or extra-large cup for the thermos-full, putting the price-per-ounce far below those of the fast food chains. When driving in the cold dark of early morning, having gotten up at oh-dot-stupid with daybreak barely casting enough light to silhouette the hills to the east, the occasional pull from the thermos in the cup holder is necessary for the mix of nostalgia and aloneness and adventure that you know is going to dissipate once the highway's full of cars and the daylight's taken the mystery out of the vista. An expertly brewed cup of coffee would not improve the moment.
But I also save for the occasional treat, a barista's choice varietal pour-over at one of the good shops here in town when I want a pure communion with coffeeness itself. It too is a pleasure. It's good to like different kinds of a thing.
posted by ardgedee at 4:31 AM on February 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
McDonald's does powdered creamer in my area of drive thru. I am a coffee heathen but a bit picky about my dairy. I wish we had McD like France, they serve macaroons and tastier stuff than the US. There is a reason that McD's second largest market is France. Article here.
posted by jadepearl at 4:42 AM on February 27, 2017
posted by jadepearl at 4:42 AM on February 27, 2017
Aren't we about due for a Fourth Wave of Ska?
posted by MrGuilt at 5:29 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by MrGuilt at 5:29 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
One thing McD's isn't is filled with laptop warriors taking up all of the seats.
The last McD's I was in had an entire section dedicated to laptop warriors. Pseudo workspaces with high walls, power outlets at every table, wifi and the ubiquitous flatscreen tuned to FOX News. And the tables were filled with people typing away or even having meetings.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:55 AM on February 27, 2017
The last McD's I was in had an entire section dedicated to laptop warriors. Pseudo workspaces with high walls, power outlets at every table, wifi and the ubiquitous flatscreen tuned to FOX News. And the tables were filled with people typing away or even having meetings.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:55 AM on February 27, 2017
You know, if you go to a local coffee place and find all the options mystifying, most of them (at least here in the US, which I realize is not where this ad is running) will also have regular drip coffee on the menu!
There are many places where this is not true at all, where espresso drinks are your only option. And, I'm sorry, an americano is not remotely an acceptable substitute for actual brewed coffee. It's watery and thin and nastier than the nastiest gas station swill.
There are many other places where the only brewed coffee option is pour-over, which, yes, is delicious, but also takes twenty fucking minutes when there is a line of people ordering it, and, you know, at the end of the day, this stuff is a drug, I don't want to sit around all day waiting for my fix.
posted by enn at 6:01 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
There are many places where this is not true at all, where espresso drinks are your only option. And, I'm sorry, an americano is not remotely an acceptable substitute for actual brewed coffee. It's watery and thin and nastier than the nastiest gas station swill.
There are many other places where the only brewed coffee option is pour-over, which, yes, is delicious, but also takes twenty fucking minutes when there is a line of people ordering it, and, you know, at the end of the day, this stuff is a drug, I don't want to sit around all day waiting for my fix.
posted by enn at 6:01 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
There are many places where this is not true at all, where espresso drinks are your only option. And, I'm sorry, an americano is not remotely an acceptable substitute for actual brewed coffee. It's watery and thin and nastier than the nastiest gas station swill.
Or worse, they'll do an Americano in lieu of a brewed coffee without warning you, because it's easier to pull a (for example) decaf espresso shot than to do a pour-over.
I've found Starbucks baristas will always push the Americano over the pour-over because they don't want the hassle. Maybe try brewing decaf after noon? Some of us want to sleep in the evening.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:57 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
Or worse, they'll do an Americano in lieu of a brewed coffee without warning you, because it's easier to pull a (for example) decaf espresso shot than to do a pour-over.
I've found Starbucks baristas will always push the Americano over the pour-over because they don't want the hassle. Maybe try brewing decaf after noon? Some of us want to sleep in the evening.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:57 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
In the 90s Dennis Miller did an ad for something where he was at an espresso joint offhandedly balking at "five dollars for a cup of joe‽"
So I mean, good job playing retro Dennis Miller gags, I guess?
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 7:32 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
So I mean, good job playing retro Dennis Miller gags, I guess?
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 7:32 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
You know, if you go to a local coffee place and find all the options mystifying, most of them (at least here in the US, which I realize is not where this ad is running) will also have regular drip coffee on the menu!
My friend and her husband went to a coffee place in Grand Central Station, and she ordered a latte, and he ordered drip coffee.
The barista stared at him. "We don't have that."
They all stared at each other, baffled.
Eventually the owner of the cafe came over and said yes, we do have it, it is regular coffee, it is right here. But apparently the new barista had never been told this was a thing that existed, or could be ordered? Anyway, that's how I learned that ordering "drip coffee" is far from straightforward.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 7:42 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
My friend and her husband went to a coffee place in Grand Central Station, and she ordered a latte, and he ordered drip coffee.
The barista stared at him. "We don't have that."
They all stared at each other, baffled.
Eventually the owner of the cafe came over and said yes, we do have it, it is regular coffee, it is right here. But apparently the new barista had never been told this was a thing that existed, or could be ordered? Anyway, that's how I learned that ordering "drip coffee" is far from straightforward.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 7:42 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm so depressed that I can't even use my kitchen to make coffee. I can get two large, black coffees from McDonald's that taste pretty good for $2.18. Or I can get a Venti Pike's Place from Starbucks that tastes like wet coffee ashes for almost $3 while enduring 2 minutes of upsell for trenta and espresso shots. Unfortunate culture wars aside, the pricing riff portion of that ad rang true for me.
posted by xyzzy at 8:02 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by xyzzy at 8:02 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
It's a pretty hipster move to pick an old Prince Buster song for your ad, especially one that is more familiar as the cover version.
I think this is a very effective ad, and actually aimed at hipsters/former hipsters/people who enjoy a good cup of coffee and not trying to exploit a cultural divide. How many truck drivers have waited 20 minutes for an aero press coffee, had a deconstructed latte, or struggled with the wifi password? Well some I'm sure, but I'm the kind of guy who's gladly paid $7 for the "special coffee" and has also experienced something like each of the scenarios in the ad. And sometimes, I just don't have time for that shit. But I still need a cup of coffee to get going and a bad tasting one won't do. In the states, McDonald's has figured out how to do good coffee quick and cheaply. Not that it's all that hard and I'm sure decent coffee can be had quickly and cheaply elsewhere, but if I'm in a hurry or in an unfamiliar place, I likely don't give a shit about corporations vs independent businesses (for that one moment) and I know if I double click on the Golden Arches I'll get exactly what I'm looking for. If it wasn't for McD coffee, my kids would never have made it to their umpteen million 9 am Saturday ski lessons an hour away. And holy shit, traveling in some parts of the world, finding that lone McDonald's in Delhi and ordering that consistent cup of coffee was a godsend after weeks of the instant stuff with sweetened condensed milk that everyone drinks there.
Also, I have that Prince Buster track on vinyl. I got it before all of you. I'm off to my independent corner cafe with my laptop for the rest of the day to get some work done (literally the truth).
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:13 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
I think this is a very effective ad, and actually aimed at hipsters/former hipsters/people who enjoy a good cup of coffee and not trying to exploit a cultural divide. How many truck drivers have waited 20 minutes for an aero press coffee, had a deconstructed latte, or struggled with the wifi password? Well some I'm sure, but I'm the kind of guy who's gladly paid $7 for the "special coffee" and has also experienced something like each of the scenarios in the ad. And sometimes, I just don't have time for that shit. But I still need a cup of coffee to get going and a bad tasting one won't do. In the states, McDonald's has figured out how to do good coffee quick and cheaply. Not that it's all that hard and I'm sure decent coffee can be had quickly and cheaply elsewhere, but if I'm in a hurry or in an unfamiliar place, I likely don't give a shit about corporations vs independent businesses (for that one moment) and I know if I double click on the Golden Arches I'll get exactly what I'm looking for. If it wasn't for McD coffee, my kids would never have made it to their umpteen million 9 am Saturday ski lessons an hour away. And holy shit, traveling in some parts of the world, finding that lone McDonald's in Delhi and ordering that consistent cup of coffee was a godsend after weeks of the instant stuff with sweetened condensed milk that everyone drinks there.
Also, I have that Prince Buster track on vinyl. I got it before all of you. I'm off to my independent corner cafe with my laptop for the rest of the day to get some work done (literally the truth).
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:13 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
The absurd thing is that this is actually how I feel when I go into a McDonalds and try and order just a "burger".
The cashier will be like, but which burger? and then recite all these fancy names? like a "McChicken"? What is that? is it even actually "Chicken", who would put Chicken on a burger? Thats crazy!? or a "Quarter Pounder? What is a pound anyway?!?! were you born in 1955? Junior Burger? a "Big Mac"? ?!? Is that for Cannibals?
Do you want fries?, Do you want a value meal? a Happy meal, and a mega-meal, argh?! What are these fancy jargons, "deals"? Its not a game of cards! I just want a damn hamburger! you know like the one I would get at an "authentic hamburger joint" down the road, that just sells straight up hamburgers.
posted by mary8nne at 9:44 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
The cashier will be like, but which burger? and then recite all these fancy names? like a "McChicken"? What is that? is it even actually "Chicken", who would put Chicken on a burger? Thats crazy!? or a "Quarter Pounder? What is a pound anyway?!?! were you born in 1955? Junior Burger? a "Big Mac"? ?!? Is that for Cannibals?
Do you want fries?, Do you want a value meal? a Happy meal, and a mega-meal, argh?! What are these fancy jargons, "deals"? Its not a game of cards! I just want a damn hamburger! you know like the one I would get at an "authentic hamburger joint" down the road, that just sells straight up hamburgers.
posted by mary8nne at 9:44 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
you know like the one I would get at an "authentic hamburger joint" down the road, that just sells straight up hamburgers.
With the proliferation of checklist build-a-burger restaurants, Chipotle-style "Choose your carb, protein, and toppings" fast casual places, and fancier burger and beer sports bars, just straight up burger places are getting quite, well, rare.
posted by FJT at 10:29 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
With the proliferation of checklist build-a-burger restaurants, Chipotle-style "Choose your carb, protein, and toppings" fast casual places, and fancier burger and beer sports bars, just straight up burger places are getting quite, well, rare.
posted by FJT at 10:29 AM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
FJT: " just straight up burger places are getting quite, well, rare"
No, they'll cook it medium or well-done if you ask.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:11 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
No, they'll cook it medium or well-done if you ask.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:11 AM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
In the states, McDonald's has figured out how to do good coffee quick and cheaply.
Are they doing it as a loss leader?
posted by mushhushshu at 12:53 PM on February 27, 2017
Are they doing it as a loss leader?
posted by mushhushshu at 12:53 PM on February 27, 2017
The absurd thing is that this is actually how I feel when I go into a McDonalds and try and order just a "burger".
If you go to Mcdonalds and order a 'hamburger' they will give you just that. It's a little feather of a thing and still has 300 calories, but it's not like they don't have one.
posted by leotrotsky at 1:26 PM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
If you go to Mcdonalds and order a 'hamburger' they will give you just that. It's a little feather of a thing and still has 300 calories, but it's not like they don't have one.
posted by leotrotsky at 1:26 PM on February 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
Are we talking about the same coffee that magically tastes watery and burnt at the same time? The stuff that comes out of the pot they've kept on the hotplate for the last 4 hours?
Nope. McDonald's seriously upgraded their coffee in the past few years. They don't use hotplates and glass carafes anymore, they use actual airpots and advanced, computer controlled drip brew machines and "time since brewed" timers just like Starbuck's. I think they might actually use whole beans now, too, but it might be pre-ground.
But it's definitely not that shitty institutional grade sawdust coffee they used to get in pre-measured foil packets like you'd find in the break room of a dumpy muffler shop.
While I have been both a coffee snob and slut for decades, I'm also now a trained and experienced barista, and I can say that the coffee (and their process) at McDonald's doesn't suck. Sure, it's not an artisanal single origin bean pourover or chemex extraction, but for drip coffee it's on par with Starbuck's, Peet's, Coffee Bean and any other chain you'd care to compare it to.
For, oh, about a dollar in the US, depending on participation. I think all of their drinks are a flat dollar now, come to think of it. I don't go to McDonald's very often because: eww.
Are they doing it as a loss leader?
Not likely. From what I understand about McDonald's economics and metrics, they never sell anything as a loss leader, ever. (Incidentally, this also likely explains the McRib sandwich, which only seems to go on the menus when pork prices fall below a certain metric or above a certain surplus.)
So, the production cost of drip coffee at high volumes is, oh, maybe 25-35 cents. Including the cup and labor, which is going to be the most expensive part of the cup. The coffee itself is maybe 10-15 cents of water, coffee and electricity.
Sure, they are likely charging much less than anyone else to get people in the door and sell more sandwiches, but they're still probably turning a profit on that coffee. I guess that's technically a "door buster" price, not a loss leader.
How to be a coffee slut and snob at the same time: Currently drinking - Local roaster's medium roast Guatemalan Robusta brewed as cowboy coffee blended with some coconut creamer based instant coffee blend in a hybridized form of "bulletproof" coffee. This stuff with the powdered coconut creamer is some serious rocket fuel. Yes, I'm technically putting instant coffee into my real coffee.
I even made this over my artisanal home made alcohol burning "penny stove" because I'm too lazy right now to leave my weirdo cave for coffee.
posted by loquacious at 1:53 PM on February 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
Nope. McDonald's seriously upgraded their coffee in the past few years. They don't use hotplates and glass carafes anymore, they use actual airpots and advanced, computer controlled drip brew machines and "time since brewed" timers just like Starbuck's. I think they might actually use whole beans now, too, but it might be pre-ground.
But it's definitely not that shitty institutional grade sawdust coffee they used to get in pre-measured foil packets like you'd find in the break room of a dumpy muffler shop.
While I have been both a coffee snob and slut for decades, I'm also now a trained and experienced barista, and I can say that the coffee (and their process) at McDonald's doesn't suck. Sure, it's not an artisanal single origin bean pourover or chemex extraction, but for drip coffee it's on par with Starbuck's, Peet's, Coffee Bean and any other chain you'd care to compare it to.
For, oh, about a dollar in the US, depending on participation. I think all of their drinks are a flat dollar now, come to think of it. I don't go to McDonald's very often because: eww.
Are they doing it as a loss leader?
Not likely. From what I understand about McDonald's economics and metrics, they never sell anything as a loss leader, ever. (Incidentally, this also likely explains the McRib sandwich, which only seems to go on the menus when pork prices fall below a certain metric or above a certain surplus.)
So, the production cost of drip coffee at high volumes is, oh, maybe 25-35 cents. Including the cup and labor, which is going to be the most expensive part of the cup. The coffee itself is maybe 10-15 cents of water, coffee and electricity.
Sure, they are likely charging much less than anyone else to get people in the door and sell more sandwiches, but they're still probably turning a profit on that coffee. I guess that's technically a "door buster" price, not a loss leader.
How to be a coffee slut and snob at the same time: Currently drinking - Local roaster's medium roast Guatemalan Robusta brewed as cowboy coffee blended with some coconut creamer based instant coffee blend in a hybridized form of "bulletproof" coffee. This stuff with the powdered coconut creamer is some serious rocket fuel. Yes, I'm technically putting instant coffee into my real coffee.
I even made this over my artisanal home made alcohol burning "penny stove" because I'm too lazy right now to leave my weirdo cave for coffee.
posted by loquacious at 1:53 PM on February 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
McD's has always been my go-to for coffee refills on road trips. It's always been uniformly decent and reasonably fresh, and there are lots of the stores near the highway. I haven't eaten their or anyone else's fast food in over 25 years, but I'm pretty happy with their coffee when I just need a quick cup along my way to somewhere.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:00 PM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:00 PM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
Nope. McDonald's seriously upgraded their coffee in the past few years. They don't use hotplates and glass carafes anymore, they use actual airpots and advanced, computer controlled drip brew machines and "time since brewed" timers just like Starbuck's.
McDonald's also makes a big deal about how their fries are made fresh to order, and if they sit for longer than a few minutes they are thrown out and a new batch is made, etc.
Being a franchise operation, where the owners ultimately decide which processes are followed (especially the processes that amount to throwing money into the garbage) guess how often the McDonald's down the street from me serves soggy limp fries.
The answer is: always.
I had coffee from McDonald's last month. We'll have to agree to disagree on the definition of 'vastly improved' or 'drinkable'.
posted by danny the boy at 3:06 PM on February 27, 2017
McDonald's also makes a big deal about how their fries are made fresh to order, and if they sit for longer than a few minutes they are thrown out and a new batch is made, etc.
Being a franchise operation, where the owners ultimately decide which processes are followed (especially the processes that amount to throwing money into the garbage) guess how often the McDonald's down the street from me serves soggy limp fries.
The answer is: always.
I had coffee from McDonald's last month. We'll have to agree to disagree on the definition of 'vastly improved' or 'drinkable'.
posted by danny the boy at 3:06 PM on February 27, 2017
Going back to my days working there in the early/mid 80's, they always timed coffee and in theory dumped it after 1/2 hour. As it's been pointed out, mileage varies but one thing holds true.
If the EMPLOYEES drink the coffee, it's going to fresh-ish, and certainly drinkable.
posted by mikelieman at 3:42 PM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
If the EMPLOYEES drink the coffee, it's going to fresh-ish, and certainly drinkable.
posted by mikelieman at 3:42 PM on February 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
I don't know if they still do it but in Vermont the McDonalds used Green Mountain Coffee Roasters coffee and still sold it for about $1.
My Uncle used to have a convenience store (also in VT) where he sold GMCR coffee from those pump your own carafes that are essentially ubiquitous in all gas stations and convenience stores because it means that you pour your own coffee and therefore the labor cost is essentially nil. He was selling it for $0.50 a cup because it cost him about $1 to fill a carafe so as long as he got more than two cups out of it he was in profit. People just weren't buying it and it was going cold, but when he raised the price to $1 people were buying it more because it was more expensive and therefore "better". I wonder if that is another reason for the McD's being seen as bad coffee.
posted by koolkat at 1:11 AM on February 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
My Uncle used to have a convenience store (also in VT) where he sold GMCR coffee from those pump your own carafes that are essentially ubiquitous in all gas stations and convenience stores because it means that you pour your own coffee and therefore the labor cost is essentially nil. He was selling it for $0.50 a cup because it cost him about $1 to fill a carafe so as long as he got more than two cups out of it he was in profit. People just weren't buying it and it was going cold, but when he raised the price to $1 people were buying it more because it was more expensive and therefore "better". I wonder if that is another reason for the McD's being seen as bad coffee.
posted by koolkat at 1:11 AM on February 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
I love Prince Buster!
posted by james33 at 6:59 AM on February 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by james33 at 6:59 AM on February 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
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posted by oneswellfoop at 12:16 PM on February 26, 2017 [6 favorites]