"Bro, this is wild."

March 2, 2017 6:18 PM

Why are fifteen turkeys circling a dead cat in Massachussetts? [video] Wildlife biologist on flock of turkeys circling dead cat in video: "It’s just really creepy and weird."
posted by moonmilk (55 comments total)

The real question is would they circle the opposite way in the Southern Hemisphere?
posted by inflatablekiwi at 6:28 PM on March 2, 2017 [36 favorites]

Turkeys are stupid.
posted by TrialByMedia at 6:30 PM on March 2, 2017 [11 favorites]

They think it's a baby wheel.
posted by jonathanhughes at 6:31 PM on March 2, 2017 [18 favorites]

It is 100 days since last thanksgiving day. Coincidence?
posted by adept256 at 6:34 PM on March 2, 2017 [9 favorites]

That is the best thing I've seen all week.
posted by Caxton1476 at 6:38 PM on March 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

The quoted Verge article was quite interesting, but the NPR writer, she understands the cat's not going to reanimate, nor do they really have 9 lives, right? Right?
posted by humboldt32 at 6:42 PM on March 2, 2017

Maybe she thinks the cat will pivot.
posted by adept256 at 6:43 PM on March 2, 2017 [31 favorites]

Turknado vs. Cataver, coming up next on SyFy.
posted by Behemoth at 6:44 PM on March 2, 2017 [18 favorites]

Why? Just ask the Turkey Liberation Front
posted by sammyo at 6:51 PM on March 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

(we suspect TLF is a street person that succumbed to Stockholm syndrome during a long night of the birds and is posting autonomously for the master flock that is planning an uprising, they will take all your birdseed)
posted by sammyo at 6:55 PM on March 2, 2017

The most surprising part is that this didn't happen in Brookline, where turkeys have been waging all out war on residents and letter carriers for several years.
posted by adamg at 7:00 PM on March 2, 2017 [11 favorites]

"And the flock of Wildfowl wept for cat in the plains of Boston thirty laps: so the laps of weeping and mourning for cat were ended.”
posted by Ornate Rocksnail at 7:02 PM on March 2, 2017 [13 favorites]

If the strange video has awakened a burning curiosity about turkey behavior, Krakauer would like to recommend the PBS Nature episode My Life as a Turkey.

That title is strangely relatable for me.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 7:03 PM on March 2, 2017 [3 favorites]

Cat is Trump. Turkeys are DNC. These metaphors just write themselves.
posted by davebush at 7:08 PM on March 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

Cat is Trump. Turkeys are DNC.

This is the sign that the curse that was cast last week is working.
posted by tclark at 7:13 PM on March 2, 2017 [17 favorites]

I was sure I saw this on MetaFilter, but I can't find it now. Turkeys are (slightly) smarter than ants, so they'll probably break out of it before they starve to death; or maybe when a car comes down the street and disrupts the circle.
posted by Bruce H. at 7:16 PM on March 2, 2017 [7 favorites]

End times are nigh!

You heard it here first. Time/date stamped!

Doom is upon us!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:26 PM on March 2, 2017 [3 favorites]

Poor kitty :(

Mad interesting though. We have a tribe of guinea fowl who live in our street. More than once I have witnessed the following scenario:

1. Bird A, in a fit of pique/horniness, decides to begin chasing Bird B around and around in circles while making noises of disapproval/lust;

2. Bird C, annoyed/aroused by Bird A's carrying on, decides to commence chasing Bird A around and around in circles while making noises of disapproval/lust;

3. Bird A, now thinking that it is the one being chased, forgets its original Bird B-chasing mission, and so Birds A through C continue to run around and around in circles, while at least two of them make noises of disapproval/lust;

4. Bird B, working on a freshly-formed hypothesis, hops to the side of the chasey-circle, and quickly determines that, yes, the chasing is over, for now Bird A is being chased by Bird C, which continues to make noises of disapproval/lust;

5. Bird B forgets everything that ever happened to it, and returns to scratching and pecking, while Bird C chases Bird A around and around in circles;

6. Bird D notices all this commotion...

They really are the cutest, most ridiculous things though.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:27 PM on March 2, 2017 [21 favorites]

This is so symmetrical. You wonder if that cat has stalked them, and they can now observe him at rest.
posted by Oyéah at 7:40 PM on March 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

I have chickens. They are not bright. Most of the pleasure in keeping them is watching the dumb shit they get up to.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:44 PM on March 2, 2017 [8 favorites]

how far is Boston is Arkham?
posted by Dr. Twist at 7:48 PM on March 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

Turkeys are stupid.

Having read the scientific explanation, this is definitely the concise version.
posted by codacorolla at 7:52 PM on March 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

They're just gloating.
posted by Apocryphon at 8:04 PM on March 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

I find it strange that so many people are discounting the "Turkeys are Satanists" theory right off the bat. What are they trying to distract us from?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:13 PM on March 2, 2017 [20 favorites]

I've never complained about this before in my life but ...damnit, turn your phone sideways and you wouldn't have to pan left, right, left, right to get the action in!
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:26 PM on March 2, 2017 [3 favorites]

Guinea fowl are the dumbest thing outside of a plant. How any of them survive to adulthood is beyond me.
posted by fshgrl at 8:27 PM on March 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

Oh crap, guys. This was supposed to be widdershins. Doing it deosil is the one that just gets you a dead cat.
posted by sourcequench at 8:35 PM on March 2, 2017 [20 favorites]

Mindless circling is something that apparently turkeys just do sometimes. See, for example, this video. There are other videos out there that can be found with some googling.
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:39 PM on March 2, 2017 [5 favorites]

Inbred, domestic turkeys are essentially lichens with feathers. These are wild turkeys. If you think they're dumb, try stalking one sometime. Then you will discover who the dumb one is...
posted by jim in austin at 9:03 PM on March 2, 2017 [9 favorites]

Wild turkeys are smart. They've a vocabulary of thirty to forty 'words' to tell each other what's going on. Two flocks that regularly come to be fed where I work talk to each other all the time; my dog doesn't bother them so they discuss him as a non-threat. I wish the video had included their sounds instead of the speaker.
posted by anadem at 10:06 PM on March 2, 2017 [9 favorites]

Yup, count me with the folks who think that cat was a hero to this particular tribe of turkeys, and his passing is being mourned and commemorated in an ancient and secret ritual reserved for only the most highly venerated.

*goes off to contemplate the noble adventures of Ser Cat and how he became a heroic legend among the turkeyfolk*
posted by darkstar at 10:20 PM on March 2, 2017 [9 favorites]

OMG I LOVE TURKEYS SO MUCH. I made a facebook group for the neighborhood turkey flock, because I'd taken so many pictures of them and I wanted to put them all somewhere. lol. I don't know why but I get really excited every time I see them. They're just so weird and big and make the best noises and do strange things.
posted by ilovewinter at 11:21 PM on March 2, 2017 [14 favorites]

This reminds me of the rare "crow court" behaviour of some birds: something that happens, and gets videoed or photographed occasionally, but is still firmly in the realm of weird phenomena and folklore.

Some of the "courts" seem to be funerals, and some seem to be elaborate trials and execution: the "accused" stands in the circle, various birds make noises or approach the accused, and then some of the birds kill the accused, and then they march around the body. I wonder if some of the bird "funerals" are just a human spotting the crowd of birds late in the trials & execution process, but some species of birds do gather or show other unusual behaviour when one of their group is killed.

There's apparently a scene based on this behaviour in Gaiman's Sandman, and definitely in Kingsley's Water Babies, and other books. It pops up on the letters pages of Fortean Times pretty regularly.

The weirdest bit is that it's a cat in the circle.
posted by BinaryApe at 11:58 PM on March 2, 2017 [18 favorites]

Hmmm, is turkeycircling the new beanplating?
posted by Muddler at 12:30 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]

We have a lot of wild turkeys and I think people might be slightly over estimating their intelligence. They aren't hunted here so they don't feel the need to hide from humans so I get to see a wild turkey do something asinine at least once a week.

Smarter than guinea fowl though.
posted by fshgrl at 12:51 AM on March 3, 2017 [4 favorites]

Well they have to complete the ritual, right?
posted by supercrayon at 12:56 AM on March 3, 2017

End of Evangelion (1997)
posted by gucci mane at 1:46 AM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]

This is the cat equivalent of a Viking funeral. The cat was great, probably. What makes a cat great to turkeys is open to speculation. Non-predation? Help with sums?

I don't believe in the Heavyside Layer as a literal layer, but I respect the customs of others and I think it's encouraging that turkeys are finally taking something seriously.
posted by Construction Concern at 4:01 AM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]

It is 100 days since last thanksgiving day. Coincidence?

Yes. Turkeys can't count to more than 6.

Crows. Yesterday, a few crows chased a big red-tail hawk away from our back yard. They might keep a calendar.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:04 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]

fifteen turkeys circling a dead cat could have been a great new logo for Vancouver
posted by Wolfdog at 4:18 AM on March 3, 2017 [23 favorites]

I too am unreasonably excited by wild turkeys, it makes my whole week when I spot them, and THE BEST thing is when you're a little too close so the Tom turkey displays his tail feathers at you to look big and intimidating. I'm like, Dude, you have a beak, I was not going to fuck with your flock anyway, even ducks are unpleasant when they're pecking you and they're teeny, you're basically my size and also a dinosaur, I definitely choose duck-sized horses if I'm going to fight with wildlife.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:55 AM on March 3, 2017 [10 favorites]

Cats:The Director's Cut
posted by warriorqueen at 4:58 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]

Is this something I would need to have a dinosaur brain to understand
posted by Doleful Creature at 5:33 AM on March 3, 2017 [4 favorites]

Moments after the video ends, the dead cat begins to rise into the air, hovering about five feet up. Then, with a whoosh, the cat bursts into flames and totally disintegrates. The turkeys stop walking around and begin a low, moaning chant that can be heard for miles, long after the sun sets.

Thus has it been from the beginning, so shall it be until the end.
posted by briank at 6:35 AM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]

Wildlife biologist on flock of turkeys circling dead cat in video: "It’s just really creepy and weird."

If nothing else, I can honestly say a wildlife biologist totally agrees with me.
posted by tommasz at 6:35 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]

Yes. Turkeys can't count to more than 6.

In a recent thread, someone remarked that Garfield can't hate mondays, because cats don't know what day it is. If anything, if you could ask a cat what day it was, they'd say sunday. Everyday is sunday. Lick anus, go back to sleep.

I didn't know about 'crow courts', but I think I slept through one. The crows around here love to greet the dawn with a good CAW! Which I ignore, because sunrise is a fiction, something I have not witnessed for so long I doubt it exists.

We have a bird here called a kookaburra, which laughs at dawn. HAHAHAHA WAKE UP TIME TO GO TO WORK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAA. They're kinda jerks.

Anyhow, one morning the crows went bonkers. There must have been dozens of them, cawing as loud as possible, just outside my place. Like a furious mob. I slid the window shut and stuffed my head into the pillows to mute the cacophony and salvage what was left of my rest.

When this human was ready to emerge from their den, they discovered a dead crow at the gate outside their bedroom.

I feel like it's a pity I didn't point my phone out the window to record what those birds were doing out there. But I'm the type that when the bombs are falling and there are mushroom clouds on the horizon, I hit snooze. Just ten more minutes..
posted by adept256 at 7:13 AM on March 3, 2017 [9 favorites]

Jive turkeys.
posted by fuse theorem at 7:24 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]

Circle-turk.
posted by metaplectic at 7:41 AM on March 3, 2017 [4 favorites]

Boston Sunfish II: Dark Magic Turkeys
"Go ahead and call the Iquarium...they can't help you now"
posted by mubba at 8:50 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]

fifteen turkeys circling a dead cat

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:13 AM on March 3, 2017 [7 favorites]

I like the voiceover the most and could easily listen to a whole nature series narrated by this guy. (It occurs to me that most of the mediated nature/animal scenes I see are voiced by skilled voice actors, not regular people. This is less polished, but refreshing. Likewise, "dude, bro" talk isn't usually describing avian behavior. The contrast here is kinda nice.) "Oh, my friggin' God, bro, check out these wicked cool cicadas. They're friggin' eclosing like a boss!"
posted by Bob Regular at 1:16 PM on March 3, 2017

the "accused" stands in the circle, various birds make noises or approach the accused, and then some of the birds kill the accused, and then they march around the body.

So you're saying we should be looking into the cat's cause of death?
posted by asteria at 4:16 PM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]

If the strange video has awakened a burning curiosity about turkey behavior, Krakauer would like to recommend the PBS Nature episode My Life as a Turkey.

Seriously, this episode of Nature is really good, though. It won an Emmy.
posted by BrashTech at 1:51 PM on March 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

So you're saying we should be looking into the cat's cause of death?

No, it's a turkey in a cat costume. That was its offense.
posted by rhizome at 7:10 PM on March 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

...because cats don't know what day it is.

Probably true, but they do know exactly what time it is. That's why you'll never get to sleep past their breakfast time.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:09 PM on March 4, 2017 [1 favorite]