You May Want to Marry My Husband
March 3, 2017 6:43 AM   Subscribe

 
well, holy shit.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:47 AM on March 3, 2017 [18 favorites]


oh my god this could be a movie
it would be a terrible movie probably but it is a genuine heartbreaking thing in the world
posted by Countess Elena at 6:49 AM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


Wow. This woman is a serious fucking badass. I wish her a peaceful and comfortable exit and her family all the condolence they can find.
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:55 AM on March 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


What a fucking beautiful punch in the gut.
posted by lydhre at 6:59 AM on March 3, 2017 [9 favorites]


Oh man, and I just realized that she's the author of one of my daughter's favorite books, Little Pea, which is just delightful.
posted by lydhre at 7:05 AM on March 3, 2017 [10 favorites]


I was expecting to be all cynical before I clicked the link. Now I'm crying over my muffin.
posted by littlesq at 7:06 AM on March 3, 2017 [8 favorites]


Oh hell. (Do read).
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:11 AM on March 3, 2017


Wept out loud. Beautiful.
posted by juliplease at 7:18 AM on March 3, 2017


For some reason I opened this thinking it would be something sarcastic and snarky and then it made me tear up. So bright and so sad.
posted by doctor_negative at 7:20 AM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


I feel like my mother would have written something like this for my father if she'd had the words. She was certainly worried about him being alone after she'd passed. This was wrenching, in the best possible way.
posted by peppermind at 7:21 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Yup this was definitely a great thing to read on the way to work, in a year where I'll marry a man named Jason yup no regrets there.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:29 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Oh holy hell. Amay Krause Rosenthal is awesome and her children's books are wonderful. WTF Universe?
posted by jeanmari at 7:37 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Fuck, man. Are ya trying to make us cry?
posted by brokeaspoke at 7:44 AM on March 3, 2017


I'm not crying. You're crying.
posted by k5.user at 7:49 AM on March 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


I was expecting to be all cynical before I clicked the link. Now I'm crying over my muffin.

Yeah, fuck. Needs like a tear-jerker warning.
posted by nubs at 7:50 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Oh no, I have loved Amy Krouse Rosenthal for years (check out her encyclopedia-style memoir), this is unbelievably heartbreaking.
posted by leesh at 7:50 AM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Wow, there's some dust in my eye. A lot of dust in this room. Very dusty. Someone must be dusting. Unrelatedly this article made me cry like a baby
posted by beerperson at 7:51 AM on March 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


That was lovely. And heartbreaking. As many lovely things are.
posted by xingcat at 7:54 AM on March 3, 2017


I just remembered something about her, she mentioned her matching reader tattoo in her essay but she is the sort of author who really does stuff like that! In her first memoir you could email her and she would send you a sample of her favorite perfume. I did this and it was really a nice perfume, I wore it for a few years. (I believe the perfume was Fracas.) I am crying over this essay while ordering her new memoir.
posted by leesh at 7:57 AM on March 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


more
posted by chavenet at 8:02 AM on March 3, 2017 [10 favorites]


This is so beautiful and so sad. Here is a picture of three of her books, worn by age and use. I know them all by heart, my then-baby loved them.
posted by 41swans at 8:04 AM on March 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


I'm glad I read that but :(
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:06 AM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


All of a sudden, it got awfully dusty in here. Amy Krouse Rosenthal is one of my favorite writers. I had no idea. : (

Fuck cancer.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:08 AM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Great, now I'm crying over my coffee in my office cafeteria.
posted by peacheater at 8:09 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


If that isn't the ultimate act of emotional labor I don't know what is.
posted by headnsouth at 8:10 AM on March 3, 2017 [14 favorites]


Wow. This was wonderfully written. Painfully, beautifully, plainly. A few days. That hit heavy.
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:18 AM on March 3, 2017


This is a man who, because he is always up early, surprises me every Sunday morning by making some kind of oddball smiley face out of items near the coffeepot: a spoon, a mug, a banana.

Thanks Jason, I'm totally stealing this.

I'm glad they got these few months for Plan Be.
posted by DigDoug at 8:27 AM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


The author says that she and her husband went into an emergency room on September 5, 2015 for a mystery pain in her side that turned out to be cancer.

As far as I can reconstruct from e-mails, September 5, 2015 was the day we went into an emergency room becase my husband had a mystery pain in his chest that turned out to be cancer.

Thankfully, Mr. Machine's was infinitely more treatable than the author's, but Christ, this hit me super hard. As soon as I read that sentence, I knew I was going to be crying, but. Yeah. She's a hell of a writer.
posted by joyceanmachine at 8:27 AM on March 3, 2017 [23 favorites]


Jeezum crow, I can't imagine the slow-burn anxiety of what it would be like to date this man with this open letter hanging over the relationship like a ghost.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:29 AM on March 3, 2017 [14 favorites]


I was never this partner to my ex, nor could I be (nor can I be), and for that I'm sorry. I wonder what you do when you cannot be that person for someone? Because Jason sounds like what everyone hopes for in a partner, and I'm not convinced it's but a few people who find them.
posted by maxwelton at 8:35 AM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


That is love and that is an amazing piece of writing.
Is there a word for something so beautiful and also brings tears?
posted by Dr Ew at 8:35 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Absolutely lovely & heartbreaking. May everyone find a love like that & enjoy it for as they are able. Or no, for longer still.
posted by foodbedgospel at 8:38 AM on March 3, 2017


She wrote the Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, so, yea, not exactly self aggrandizing sort of person. But that ending though:
I am wrapping this up on Valentine’s Day, and the most genuine, non-vase-oriented gift I can hope for is that the right person reads this, finds Jason, and another love story begins.

I’ll leave this intentional empty space below as a way of giving you two the fresh start you deserve.
Whenever I see one of those "five word stories" or othersuch I always, always, sad and think immediately of the same thing:
"One of us will have had to be alone." Jacques Derrida as related by bewilderbeast
We've got some of her children's books and Amy Krouse Rosenthal's the real deal.
posted by zenon at 8:40 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


[Couple comments removed; standard maneuver if you can't understand why anyone would want to bother with something posted on the blue is to move on with your day and not bother with it.]
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:43 AM on March 3, 2017 [30 favorites]


Ooof. That's lovely. and sad. So sad. Thanks for sharing.
posted by trif at 8:43 AM on March 3, 2017


I needed something like this on this very weird Friday I'm having over here. Thank you!
posted by zuhl at 8:44 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


And if you don't make it down to the end of the chicago mag puff piece I linked that came out back in 2010:
Even if you’re not the type to look for meaning in your everyday life, Rosenthal’s videos serve as a gentle reminder to be nice. Slow down. Make things. Play. Say “I love you” and “I’m sorry.” And do it now because . . . well, you know. “Being alive is a good thing,” Rosenthal says. “Too bad it has to end.” Thank you, Amy, for not making me say it.
But maybe I'm also feeling a little terminal these days.
posted by zenon at 8:45 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


If that isn't the ultimate act of emotional labor I don't know what is.

Eesh. "Love," some people call it.
posted by wreckingball at 8:47 AM on March 3, 2017 [29 favorites]


Love is a verb.
posted by dubwisened at 8:54 AM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


My wife and I are in our 26th year of marriage, and she was diagnosed with cancer last year. I couldn't help but read that while starting to think about what my wife might say about me. We can rule out sharp dresser though :)

Luckily, I don't think we are going to have to find out anytime soon. It looks like we have good odds on getting that next 26 years together. All I can do for Amy is hope she gets a miracle, and gets the same chance.
posted by COD at 9:17 AM on March 3, 2017 [22 favorites]


Oh crud, is this how I know I'm fully dead inside? Crud.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:36 AM on March 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


I spent the whole article preparing myself to scroll down and be informed that she had already passed away. Glad we still have her for now.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:46 AM on March 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


For the last 4 days I've been bedridden with the worst flu of my life, like drenched in sweat, shaking chills, high fever, delirium, intense pain when any part of my body moves or is touched. Usually I'll power through when I'm sick, help get the kids fed and off to school, get some work done, but that hasn't even been a question the last few days. All of this came on just as my wife was starting her 2 week stint as the main admitting doctor at the county hospital (we don't normally see her during these two weeks). So she is stuck with an insane work schedule, and doing all the child care, and worrying about her husband. And all I'm able to do is marvel at this person I've married and think about how I can be a better husband and father and how I want to live every moment to the fullest and hold my loved ones close to me forever when this illness passes. This piece was just perfect.

I took a dive into some of the Amy Krause Rosenthal links above (yes, we also have her children's books, and like most children's books I haven't thought much about the author except maybe Mo Willems and Anna Dewdney who recently passed) and I am amazed that she hasn't been the subject of an FPP yet. Her YouTube videos 17 things I made and The Beckoning of Lovely are particularly uplifting.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:01 AM on March 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


wow, i thought this was going to go a whole different way; basically, that we would find out he couldn't cope with her diagnosis and was divorcing her.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:13 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]




I really want to marry this guy but I'm already happily married. She paints a beautiful picture of him and their relationship.
posted by waving at 11:20 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Oh my God. I saw the post on the MeFi front page and somewhere on FB and passed over it. Not my kind of thing. Then I saw it again on FB, with a picture. And I knew who it was.

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life is one of my favorite books--seriously, top ten list. I didn't think her last book, Textbook Amy Krouse Rosenthal, was nearly as good, but I enjoyed it. I think of her as someone extraordinarily cool and someone I would like to know, and finding this out just hit me like a ton of bricks. I just--this should not be happening.

So I guess now I have to read this piece. And cry more than I already am.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:41 AM on March 3, 2017


He's lucky to have her.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 12:20 PM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Jesus, this was devastating, and beautiful, and then I found out it was Amy Krause Rosenthal.
posted by mavrc at 1:08 PM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Holy shit was that good.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:30 PM on March 3, 2017


I made the mistake of reading this on BART, but I think I can hold it together until I get home.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:32 PM on March 3, 2017


My god, that hurt but beautiful. Serious ugly crying. I'm married to a Jason so I'm sure that's part of it.

Women in my family tend to outlive the men significantly (like I was shocked when I learned that it was only like a 5-year difference in life expectancy, not, like 15) so I'm kind of primed to think about what would happen to me if my husband dies before me (what if it happens when we're young, what if it happens when we're old etc)
I don't really ever think about what would happen if I went first, what his life might be like.

I've never heard of this writer before, but I really really want her to just miraculously be okay. I'm happy they had a great life together. They're lucky to have had each other.
posted by eeek at 3:52 PM on March 3, 2017


I realize that this might seem sortof defeatist or whatever, but if I'm her husband I'd just bag it, I'd walk away from the table once she's gone, I'd walk knowing that I'd already had the best that life can offer.
posted by dancestoblue at 4:29 PM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


As a husband this reminds me to try harder to be Mrs. Megafly's "Jason" every day.
posted by Megafly at 8:36 PM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


I realize that this might seem sort of defeatist or whatever, but if I'm her husband I'd just bag it, I'd walk away from the table once she's gone, I'd walk knowing that I'd already had the best that life can offer.

I don't know that the human need for touch and companionship really works like that - and I have a single data point. My mother, married to my father for 55+ years when cancer took him. She never wanted, nor expected to love anyone else ever again. She scoffed at the idea of having a "boyfriend."

She's been with her fella for six years now. A widower, married for over five decades, just like her. A lovely man. They both feel incredibly lucky to be with each other, to be granted a second chance at love. And I can't say that their relationship to their respective spouses was any greater or lesser than the author of this piece and her husband.

The structure of the article sort of forces the reader to put the cart before the horse - after all, Jason HAS A WIFE RIGHT NOW, the writer of the article. I hope for a miracle for AKR, but I don't expect one.
posted by 41swans at 7:38 AM on March 4, 2017


I didn't read this literally, but as a love letter to her husband. I mean, yes she probably also hopes he will find happiness in the time he has left, including possibly another partner. But it strikes me as the kind of flight of fancy you get in a lot of children's books, hers included. (I imagined the illustration that would accompany the smiling face on the kitchen counter.) Not that it lacks emotional punch, not at all. It has that stealth way of making you tear up that some kids' books do when you're an adult.
posted by BibiRose at 8:14 AM on March 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Update: Amy Krouse Rosenthal, author of more than 20 books for children, died this morning from cancer.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:35 AM on March 13, 2017 [3 favorites]


.

I was afraid that was why this popped up in Recent Activity.
posted by Etrigan at 9:42 AM on March 13, 2017


.
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:54 AM on March 13, 2017


.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:00 AM on March 13, 2017


Obit
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 11:33 AM on March 13, 2017 [3 favorites]


.
posted by Gorgik at 1:31 PM on March 13, 2017


📖
posted by numaner at 12:12 PM on March 14, 2017


« Older And this is why we will never have true equality...   |   KRUMP, A Unique Style Of Dance Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments