Muskrat, muskrat by candlelight
March 3, 2017 8:57 AM   Subscribe

 
Also capybara

capybarabeque
posted by Kabanos at 9:19 AM on March 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


Item #1 on the list: Corned Beef.

Justification, from the article: "Rather than making people choose between a meaningless annual celebration and eating meat, Catholic bishops all over the country pretty much agree that it's OK for their flock to eat corned beef during Lent, even though it is red meat and emphatically contradicts the entire tradition. Because religion is nice, but the things that truly matter to people above all else are their drinking holidays."

Dissent:

Actually, this may be more from an existing tradition in Ireland, which holds that St. Patrick's Day feast day is generally regarded as a sort of "Day Off" from Lent itself. It isn't just about "it's okay to eat meat on St. Patrick's Day", it's more like "Lent is cancelled for the day because it's our patron saint's day and we need to honor him".

I learned that on my first visit to my Irish friend; she and I were visiting some family friends on March 16th, and they offered us some packs of Malteasers; she took hers but didn't eat it, since she'd given up sweets for Lent. Instead, she tucked it into her purse. But then she spent the rest of the afternoon eyeing the horizon, and as soon as it was officially sunset - which made it "St. Patrick's Day Eve", which apparently counts - she ripped the bag out of her purse and tore into it like a starving ferret.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:20 AM on March 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


Defining chicken as "vegetable" also makes it much easier to be a vegetarian.
posted by sour cream at 9:22 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


I recall there also being an age limit, below which you were not required to go meatless. At least that's what my mom and all the other catholic moms claimed. I think it had to do with not wanting to put up with trying to get the kids to eat fish. "Here. Jesus says you can have a hot dog."
posted by Thorzdad at 9:32 AM on March 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


Dibs on the terrifying yellow muskrat teeth.

Wait no the opposite of dibs.

"sbid", as it were.
posted by leotrotsky at 9:33 AM on March 3, 2017 [9 favorites]


Alligators aren't technically dinosaurs as the article claims. They do fall under the umbrella of archosaurs, which also includes dinosaurs (and hence birds, which are technically dinosaurs), but crocodilians aren't themselves dinosaurs.
posted by Pyry at 9:33 AM on March 3, 2017 [8 favorites]


...and Nutria

Fun fact. Muskrat (and nutria) teeth are orange. "The coloring is caused by their enamel, which includes a pigment that consists of the mineral iron. This pigment is the cause of the orange color of the teeth. The iron in it gives the teeth a tougher and firmer texture, which enables the smoother portions in the back to grind down more rapidly. All of this ends up giving the teeth a chisel-like form that helps them greatly with gnawing."
posted by leotrotsky at 9:38 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


In no particular order, I have no idea how I existed without a smart cell phone, Metafilter, or Cracked.
posted by Melismata at 9:40 AM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Here's more from Snopes:

The following appeared in an extract of Personal Narrative of the Travels to the Equinoctial Regions of America During the Years 1799-1804 (Humboldt and Bonpland), which was published in The Port Folio (September, 1821).

[Observations are made on the Rio Apure.]

[The flesh of the chiguire] has a musky smell somewhat disagreeable; yet hams are made of it in this country, a circumstance which almost justifies the name of 'water-hog,' given to the chiguire by some of the older naturalists. The missionary monks do not hesitate to eat these hams during Lent. According to their zoological classification they place the armadillo, the thick-nosed taper, and the manati, near the tortoises; the first, because it is covered with a hard armour like a sort of shell; and the others because they are amphibious. [p. 141]

[The flesh of the manatee], which, from what prejudice I know not, is considered unwholesome and catenturiosa, is very savoury. It appeared to me to resemble pork rather than beef. It is most esteemed by the Guanoes and the Ottomacks; and these two nations addict themselves particularly to the catching of the manatee. It's [sic] flesh, salted and dried in the Sun, can be preserved a whole year; and, as the clergy regard this mammiferous animal as a fish, it is much sought for during Lent. [p. 151]

posted by leotrotsky at 9:45 AM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]




Is that beaver performing the gesture of benediction?
posted by zamboni at 9:55 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


I apparently live in a Lenten unfriendly food desert.
posted by Samizdata at 10:00 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Religion is the ultimate hobby for fusspots.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 10:11 AM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


Nutria.
Yeah, nutria. What a weird effing animal that is. Not platypus weird, but getting there. Nutria have nipples on its back.
posted by plinth at 10:17 AM on March 3, 2017


Puffin is utterly, utterly delicious, it's like sea duck and it;s global stocks are down so I can't eat it. Someone help the noble puffin return t massive flocks so I can eat one once a year again.

Anyway (cracks lobster tail) Lent is about solidarity (slurps oysters with flying fish roe) with the poor so maybe go for the spirit (shoves 14$ kale salad with into mouth) rather then the letter (spreads black trumpet mushrooms on toast) of the law (burp)
posted by The Whelk at 10:36 AM on March 3, 2017 [12 favorites]


It just wouldn't be Catholicism without loopholes and exceptions, right?
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:43 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


It just wouldn't be Catholicism without loopholes and exceptions, right?

Indulgences! Get yer fresh indulgences!
posted by Thorzdad at 11:08 AM on March 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


Someone help the noble puffin return t massive flocks so I can eat one once a year again.

So, you'd support puffin buffin', eh?
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:10 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


Because religion is nice, but the things that truly matter to people above all else are their drinking holidays.

So let it be written. So let it be done.
posted by Splunge at 11:10 AM on March 3, 2017


Looks like most of these rules are pre both Darwin and Linaeus, so sure, call anything a fish that comes in contact with water... But then, surely, #6: Michael Phelps
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 11:15 AM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


#7: Beer brewed with beef stock

And, as a catholic (well technically), I proclaim that whosoever roasteth a Puffin will in turn be roasted by an immediate lightning bolt
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 11:19 AM on March 3, 2017


The letter that prompted this post:
To Mr. Jim Piculas,
Insta-Gator Ranch & Hatchery
Covington, LA

Dear Jim:

Thank you very much for your letter of February 24, 2010 concerning the question if alligator is acceptable to eat during the Lenten Season.

Yes, the alligator is considered in the fish family and I agree with you, God has created a magnificent creature that is important to the state of Louisiana and it is considered seafood.

Wishing you God's blessings, I am

Sincerely in Christ,

Most Reverend Gregory M. Aymond
Archbishop of New Orleans
posted by Iridic at 11:30 AM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


Muskrat, muskrat by candlelight

Just putting this comment here so I have a reminder next time somebody asks "what are your favorite post titles?" so I can a search. Thanks for it!
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:33 AM on March 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Also capybara

capybarabeque


This very subject gave us this wonderful song by Rasputina, 'Rats'

We thank the Pope for granting us this wish.
When Friday comes, we'll all call rats fish.
We catch them with a net, kill with the gun.
We'll call it all forgotten when we're done.

posted by ocular shenanigans at 12:02 PM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Wow. I can eat manatee during Lent. Metafilter continues to be the best $5 I ever spent.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:27 PM on March 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


The letter that prompted this post:
To Mr. Jim Piculas,
Insta-Gator Ranch & Hatchery
And you went with prompted? It's right there, iridic. Right there!
posted by zamboni at 12:44 PM on March 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


mea culpa-lligator
posted by Iridic at 12:57 PM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Ah, Insta-Gated. Took me a second.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 4:45 PM on March 3, 2017


" But then she spent the rest of the afternoon eyeing the horizon, and as soon as it was officially sunset - which made it "St. Patrick's Day Eve", which apparently counts - she ripped the bag out of her purse and tore into it like a starving ferret."

Yes, Catholic liturgical days begin and end at sunset (as in Judaism, and fairly common in the ancient Near East), which is why Saturday night Mass counts for Sunday. (There are actually ALL KINDS of little oddities to this rule relating to precedence of feasts, local civic calendar habits, early winter evenings -- you can pick 5 p.m. as "sundown" if you need to -- but generally, yes, the liturgical day traditionally starts at Vespers.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:27 PM on March 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Also four of these are animals categorized as okay for Lent (at least in local areas), while corned beef is a one-day dispensation, as a Catholic I must object to this mixing of categories when rules-lawyering! And bishops hand out one-day dispensations like fuckin' candy.

At Catholic college, literally every year, there would be a big fight over whether the bacon bits should be on the salad bar on Lenten Fridays. The dining halls were meatless on Fridays during Lent, but the bacon bits were made of soy -- not meat -- and so were generally left on the salad bar. Cue ENORMOUS BICKERING from a campus of 10,000 people who all have super strong opinions on whether eating facsimile bacon counts as breaking the Lenten fast. "It tastes meaty, and it looks meaty, and people eat it thinking it's meat, it's a temptation to sin and it's breaking the spirit of the fast if not the letter!" "It's NOT MEAT and thinking that what the fast LOOKS like rather than how the person is actually DOING the fast is SO TYPICALLY ANTINOMIAN.""A legalist like you WOULD say that." "You're so antinomian you're practically a Protestant!" "I BEG your pardon!" Third person: "Guys, stop arguing, you're creating scandal and discord!" First two people turn on the third one: "IF WE DON'T SOLVE THIS PROBLEM EVERYONE IS GOING TO HELL AND IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!"

It's a glorious little microcosm of Literally Every Catholic Argument About Rules Ever.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:44 PM on March 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


The Michigan muskrat tradition is a feature of the people around Detroit who identify as "Muskrat French" - Catholic descendants of French Canadian and Metis who settled there before the war of 1812. Given the wilderness lifestyle, the church made a dispensation for the Canadian voyageurs allowing them to eat muskrat and beaver on fridays and lent, and the tradition continued in the form of church dinners. in 1987 Michigan was the featured state at the Smithsonian Folklife Festival and a group of "Muskrat French" ladies prepared muskrat for demonstrations. first, the musk glands were removed, then it was carefully soaked in salt water overnight, then it was parboiled, and finally it was stewed with canned sweet creamed corn. Most of the meat was on the hindquarters, and it was kind of like eating a tiny but chewy buffalo wing with harder bones.
posted by zaelic at 3:04 AM on March 6, 2017


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