Two sworn enemies
April 21, 2002 9:27 AM   Subscribe

Two sworn enemies that have been battling for a hundred years, each with their own agenda. Neither side has the moral high ground, and you would think that one side would know better than to use the tactics they do. Another mid-east post? Nope. Mail-carriers versus dogs.
posted by machaus (9 comments total)
Aside from the irresponsible pet owner angle, some of the stories are rather frightening from the dog perspective:

I am a letter carrier in North Texas. I once had a supervisor - a Vietnam Veteran - who would shoot problem dogs in the middle of the night. All you had to do was tell him about a problem dog on your route and he would go out that night (or soon afterwards) and shoot the dog from a distance. I believe he was a scout/sniper in the USMC. - Anonymous


There was this dog on my route that would always bite the mail and bark wildly when I put the mail through the door slot. I was concerned that he might bite my fingers and also the dog barking made me mad as hell. So one day I squirted some pepper spray (breathe freshener) into his open mouth through the slot while he was barking. After that, he still barked, but he wouldn't come near that slot. - Anonymous


I had a "dog route" in a bad neighborhood several years ago. There was one dog in particular that was always trying to attack me. The dog's yard was cluttered with junk. I noticed a jug of antifreeze with its top opened so I poured some into a small dish. I never saw the dog again. (Dogs like antifreeze because it tastes sweet, but it will kill them in a couple of hours. My advice is to keep your dogs away from antifreeze. If your dog does drink some antifreeze the only cure is to have the dog drink beer - no kidding. It keeps the antifreeze from crystalizing, or something likethat.) - Anonymous

posted by machaus at 9:28 AM on April 21, 2002

hillarious. I am not a dog person myself and I wonder if the vietnam veteran guy works in houston.
posted by adnanbwp at 10:06 AM on April 21, 2002

The last story on the page is one of the very few rationales for legal handgun carrying I've heard. I've not much worry about being attacked by people or bears, but the g.d. dogs in this world are purest evil.

Last night I researched dog attacks via the Internet. It is estimated that more than two million attacks occur each year in the US. About 330,000 victims seek emergency medical attention. Over three-quarters of the serious injuries happen to children under the age of 10. The most common attack involves bites to the face, neck and head administered by the household pet or a friend's pet. The estimated annual price tag for dog bite injuries is $1 Billion.

Lacking a handgun, my as-yet-untested defensive moves are going to be (a) as hard a kick as I can get at the dog's head, hopefully strong enough to break its jaw; and if that fails, (b) to deliberately thrust my hand down its throat and make a fist, hoping like hell that my forearm is large enough that its jaw will be so far open that it can't get good bite leverage, and will strangulate as it tries to cough my arm back out.

Trained dogs kept on a leash-line in the back yard, walked by loving owners that demand discipline from it, and who keep it quiet, are okay. It's a shame those types of owners and dogs are in the smallest of minorities.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:50 AM on April 21, 2002

Aim for the eyes and nose, don't turn your back and don't fear them. Like sharks, actually.
posted by Settle at 12:00 PM on April 21, 2002

Over three-quarters of the serious injuries happen to children under the age of 10.

Interestingly enough, when a small child antagonizes a normally docile, friendly dog to the point where the canine is provoked to defend itself by biting, the mean old beast gets blamed, and very infrequently does anyone think to hold the parents responsible for their refusal to supervise and/or reprimand the child's behavior.
posted by pudders at 1:23 PM on April 21, 2002

The precedent has been set for legal action to be taken against the owner of the dog. Why can't people take a little more responsibility for their pets?

I was a paperboy and had a few unpleasant dog encounters but nothing like the stories I just read. I was only bitten once by a loose dog (on my bike no less) but luckily it didn't break the skin.
posted by jaden at 3:19 PM on April 21, 2002

I learned something from an old lady a few years ago that has helped me once since then. Try it in your next encounter with a mean dog.

When a dog makes a threatening move in your direction, quickly turn to face him with a stern look, and simultaneously jerk your arms into this position: elbows straight out to your sides from your shoulders like chicken wings, parallel to the ground, fingertips pointed at each other, but not touching, in front of your chin.

I saw her do this with several angry dogs she did not know, and when I did it another time, it quieted down a belligerent dog instantly.
posted by planetkyoto at 5:47 PM on April 21, 2002

I'm not sure I like the idea of making my arms look like chicken wings when I'm facing an angry (and perhaps hungry) canine. I'll have to try it though.
posted by jaden at 6:27 AM on April 22, 2002

« Older Apparently, over the past months, the IRA has been...   |   Apple = Evil. Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments