There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.
March 5, 2017 5:48 PM   Subscribe

Tired of reading about the monsters wreaking havoc in Washington, DC? Here are 25 other places to see yetis, sea monsters, Sasquatch, and other cryptids.
posted by Johnny Wallflower (18 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
That they leave out the International Cryptozoology Museum is a slap in the face!

Still, I'm a sucker for these roadside attractions and have tried to figure out some way of getting a picture with that Mothman statue. My wife is having none of it - not only is West Virginia too far out of the way for anywhere we'd be going, but our last side trip to a Mystery Hill here in Massachusetts ended in my son levitating ten feet off the ground singing the song of the End Times. It was a good thing we rented a convertible for that trip and I never travel without rope.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:58 PM on March 5, 2017 [8 favorites]

Jersey Devil FTW! It's held a warm place in my heart ever since I got my monsters book from the troll books tissue paper catalog back in 3rd grade.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:06 PM on March 5, 2017

Those Feejee mermaids are just adorable.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 6:12 PM on March 5, 2017

The fortieth anniversary of the Dover Demon is coming up. I need to make some plans.
posted by bondcliff at 6:26 PM on March 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

Point Pleasant, WV has been on our to-do list for many years. They have a Mothman festival! That sculpture is badass!

(Real talk: The Mothman Prophesies is an unexpectedly great movie and Pittsburgh fills in for both West Virginia and Chicago. I watched it being filmed out my office window. And the book is A-1 pants-on-head bonkers. So what I'm saying I guess is that I'm kind of obsessed with the Mothman.)
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:27 PM on March 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

psst soren
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:31 PM on March 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised Monterey Bay, CA was left out of the sea monster section. Lots of weirdness lurking down in those ocean canyons.
posted by indubitable at 6:35 PM on March 5, 2017

😍 omg
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:36 PM on March 5, 2017

Some dads share baseball or football with their kids. My dad and I share Forteana. We went to the Museum in Portland, Maine, and it was simultaneously a tourist trap and completely worth it. Piles upon piles of hot nonsense.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:14 PM on March 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

Skunkbears. They blind you with the stench then tear you apart and eat you alive while you stink.
posted by vrakatar at 7:20 PM on March 5, 2017

Also: shoutout to anyone else who had to sleep with the lights on after reading this book or this one as a kid. I just ordered a penny copy of the Colin and Janet Bord book, even though I know it is piffle, because I loved mine to death when I was younger and the binding fell apart.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:22 PM on March 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

Hockomock Swamp monster - the Hockomock Swamp is nestled in a no-kidding swamp in Eastern Massachussets, in West Bridgewater and points south and east - the Bridgewater Triangle - that is actually impenetrable. Duck hunters try it every year in shallow-bottom boats and canoes, get hopelessly lost, and wind up fighting through the impassable banks of cat-tails to find themselves right back at their truck where they put in five hours later.

Like all of the best Hairy Men legends, the single hottest spot for UFO's ina MA is over the Hockomock Swamp. And yes, a foul-smelling beast appears to intrepid kayackers, canoeists, and john-boat builders venturing between the submerged tree trunks and the trees growing from them.

It's usually in late autumn, when all of the ground storey forest's foliage has fallen, you can see a looong way through tree trunks alive and dead. The swamp is tiny on the map, but intrepid explorers have been lost for days at a time, their phone's signal dead, their flares unanswered. Way off in the distance, just as twilight turns to dusk, they see a person, only it doesn't move like a person. It lopes, impossibly long-legged from tussock to tussock, from fallen tree to scrap of mud with an inhuman grace. It's huge, and covered with coarse, long hair from the top of its head down to its wide-splayed toes. Then some of the stars above begin to dance in ways aircraft just can't just as dusk deepens to night.

Comes the dawn, and the little road next to the swamp they parked by is right there. No-one remembers paddling, or anything after when the skies went mad. It's two days later.

No-one comes back for another try.

My Granma retired to West Bridgewater, and if you biked all the way down the street she lived on, the pavement ended, no houses were left, and the dirt road brought you right to the tannin-tinged brown swamp. I was sort of curious where that dirt track led to, but Granma had an in-ground pool and starbursts she let me steal from her pantry and very early '80s cable TV and an Atari, so I turned back.

Good thing I did.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:33 PM on March 5, 2017 [11 favorites]

No Ogopogo?
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 8:14 PM on March 5, 2017 [2 favorites]

How will climate change affect global swamp gas production?
posted by rhizome at 8:25 PM on March 5, 2017

I was once asked by a client to invent a monster and accompanying lore to help lend cachet to a destination that was trying to trade on its heritage. I was pretty psyched about the assignment, but the lack of authenticity made it a really questionable decision for a place trying to attach history to its brand. Calmer heads prevailed.
posted by carmicha at 8:26 PM on March 5, 2017

Let us not forget this one.
posted by Splunge at 8:16 AM on March 6, 2017

Hockomock Swamp monster

Look, just because the Boston Yeti enjoys hanging out in public posing for people's instagram feeds doesn't mean that every local monster is cool with being the subject of social media.

I once saw the Hockomock Swamp Monster at Bridgewater State University's monthly astronomy night. I could have gone over and introduced myself to the Monster like the cryptid fanboy that I am, but I respected the Monster's privacy and just let it go about its business explaining the cosmic distance ladder to a young girl who's interested in astrophysics.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:54 PM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

Will no one spare a thought for the chupacabra?
posted by carmicha at 7:40 PM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

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