Please help our class as we study surveys and graphs
March 16, 2017 1:46 PM Subscribe
Pizza or Soup ??????
I'll come back to that one.
posted by Kabanos at 1:51 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
I'll come back to that one.
posted by Kabanos at 1:51 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
Making me decide between a giraffe and a zebra is the cruelest thing a second grader has ever done to me and I was bullied A LOT.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:55 PM on March 16, 2017 [48 favorites]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:55 PM on March 16, 2017 [48 favorites]
This is like so many election ballots. You're picking between a giraffe and a zebra when what you really want is a unicorn. At least it includes an "Other" choice for hair color.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:00 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:00 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
Giraffes: strange, beautiful, graceful, utterly unique megafauna that time forgot
Zebras: stripy horses
posted by theodolite at 2:02 PM on March 16, 2017 [36 favorites]
Zebras: stripy horses
posted by theodolite at 2:02 PM on March 16, 2017 [36 favorites]
Someone remember to post the results kthx.
posted by jeffamaphone at 2:02 PM on March 16, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by jeffamaphone at 2:02 PM on March 16, 2017 [9 favorites]
I loved this! "Are you married?" made me a little sad and made me really want to have a "It's complicated" option but apart from that it was fun! Hand on heart I'd rather be in Toys R Us than Wal-Mart and omg I LOVE Lego and colouring, and sorry Indiana but I don't know anything about you but "Chicago, Illinois" is in that's song I love from Calamity Jane so I picked them.
posted by billiebee at 2:02 PM on March 16, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by billiebee at 2:02 PM on March 16, 2017 [11 favorites]
I had to look up the Elsa/Ana thing to get the right name... the Queen is smart, her sister... not so much.
I'd like to see the graphs too. 8)
posted by MikeWarot at 2:03 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'd like to see the graphs too. 8)
posted by MikeWarot at 2:03 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
My only complaint is that I wasn't able to skip questions that didn't apply to me. I've never seen Frozen, so I had to pick a character at random to be my favorite.
(I know, not seeing Frozen is a personal failing. Mea culpa.)
posted by fader at 2:04 PM on March 16, 2017 [3 favorites]
(I know, not seeing Frozen is a personal failing. Mea culpa.)
posted by fader at 2:04 PM on March 16, 2017 [3 favorites]
Kids! You are going to have a hard time regularizing that free text location field. Next time just ask for zip codes.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:09 PM on March 16, 2017 [28 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 2:09 PM on March 16, 2017 [28 favorites]
the Queen is smart, her sister... not so much.
Did we watch the same movie?
posted by uncleozzy at 2:10 PM on March 16, 2017 [15 favorites]
Did we watch the same movie?
posted by uncleozzy at 2:10 PM on March 16, 2017 [15 favorites]
I haven't seen Frozen either, so I just chose the palindrome. I hope this doesn't throw their results off.
posted by ernielundquist at 2:13 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by ernielundquist at 2:13 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
The Magic School Bus Dives Into Open-Entry Text Field Backcoding
posted by theodolite at 2:13 PM on March 16, 2017 [51 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 2:13 PM on March 16, 2017 [51 favorites]
Team Zebra.
posted by chapps at 2:15 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by chapps at 2:15 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
The giraffe all hid from me last year when I was visiting a preserve. So, I guess I'll go with zebra.
Wal-mart or Toys-r-us though? ugh!
posted by nat at 2:17 PM on March 16, 2017
Wal-mart or Toys-r-us though? ugh!
posted by nat at 2:17 PM on March 16, 2017
I quickly glanced at the plot on Wikipedia and chose Elsa...
posted by jim in austin at 2:17 PM on March 16, 2017
posted by jim in austin at 2:17 PM on March 16, 2017
(I received this on facebook via a friend and found it utterly charming).
posted by chapps at 2:18 PM on March 16, 2017
posted by chapps at 2:18 PM on March 16, 2017
I have a hunch that these 2nd graders are about to have their doors of perception blown wide open.
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 2:19 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 2:19 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
I had to look up the Elsa/Ana thing to get the right name... the Queen is smart, her sister... not so much
I just flipped a coin on that one. I would've left it blank, but it was a required question. I hope these kids have someone who's good at cleaning data.
posted by codacorolla at 2:22 PM on March 16, 2017
I just flipped a coin on that one. I would've left it blank, but it was a required question. I hope these kids have someone who's good at cleaning data.
posted by codacorolla at 2:22 PM on March 16, 2017
What’s going to be unfortunate is that the “Illinois vs. Indiana” question feels like a bit of a gimme, but the students are in Indiana. So I hope that breaks right for them, but I’m doubtful.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:23 PM on March 16, 2017 [14 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 2:23 PM on March 16, 2017 [14 favorites]
I just flipped a coin on that one. I would've left it blank, but it was a required question. I hope these kids have someone who's good at cleaning data.
To be fair, that result will be clean; it just happens to be meaningless.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:23 PM on March 16, 2017 [3 favorites]
To be fair, that result will be clean; it just happens to be meaningless.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:23 PM on March 16, 2017 [3 favorites]
No wedding DJ has ever exhorted anybody to make some Indiana.
posted by uncleozzy at 2:25 PM on March 16, 2017 [14 favorites]
posted by uncleozzy at 2:25 PM on March 16, 2017 [14 favorites]
I had to guess between Elsa and Ana, too. I saw it, but couldn't remember which was which. Some obvious answers, though. Clearly:
Monkeys > Lions
Illinois > Indiana
Ice Cream > No Ice Cream
posted by Metro Gnome at 2:28 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
Monkeys > Lions
Illinois > Indiana
Ice Cream > No Ice Cream
posted by Metro Gnome at 2:28 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
the students are in Indiana
OK, now I feel a little bad for picking Illinois, but what are ya gonna do? If there is such a thing as Indianapolis style pizza, I sure as hell wouldn't want to eat it.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:29 PM on March 16, 2017 [8 favorites]
OK, now I feel a little bad for picking Illinois, but what are ya gonna do? If there is such a thing as Indianapolis style pizza, I sure as hell wouldn't want to eat it.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:29 PM on March 16, 2017 [8 favorites]
As someone who works in marketing research, and designs surveys, I will say this:
That was absolutely adorable.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:34 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
That was absolutely adorable.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:34 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
I hope they get a lot of locals in Indiana to make that one not so lopsided.
posted by oddman at 2:34 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by oddman at 2:34 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
Having just been to Disneyworld and meeting both Frozen princesses, I had no trouble at all saying that I preferred Ana.
posted by holborne at 2:37 PM on March 16, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by holborne at 2:37 PM on March 16, 2017 [7 favorites]
I am skeptical about their human-subjects approval...
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:39 PM on March 16, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:39 PM on March 16, 2017 [13 favorites]
I think this is minimal risk & is exempt.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:40 PM on March 16, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 2:40 PM on March 16, 2017 [10 favorites]
And opting into taking the survey probably falls under implied consent.
posted by Ufez Jones at 2:47 PM on March 16, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by Ufez Jones at 2:47 PM on March 16, 2017 [7 favorites]
I love the first and second questions. "Are you a farmer?" (no ) "Do you like Pokemon?" (heck YES!)
posted by Fig at 2:53 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Fig at 2:53 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
I love the first and second questions. "Are you a farmer?" (no ) "Do you like Pokemon?" (heck YES!)
Wait, I think I may have screwed up.
Does Pokemon farming count?
posted by The Bellman at 3:02 PM on March 16, 2017 [6 favorites]
Wait, I think I may have screwed up.
Does Pokemon farming count?
posted by The Bellman at 3:02 PM on March 16, 2017 [6 favorites]
This is minimal risk but it does not fall into one of the exempt categories in the HHS guidelines. There should be an informed consent statement click through at least. Hope they don't plan to publish the data in a reputable academic journal!
posted by demiurge at 3:03 PM on March 16, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by demiurge at 3:03 PM on March 16, 2017 [10 favorites]
Kids! You are going to have a hard time regularizing that free text location field. Next time just ask for zip codes.
It's international, so even postal codes are going to be a huge pain in the ass.
I would have gone with drop-down menus.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:14 PM on March 16, 2017 [3 favorites]
It's international, so even postal codes are going to be a huge pain in the ass.
I would have gone with drop-down menus.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:14 PM on March 16, 2017 [3 favorites]
Indeed. These students' odds of tenure are... disheartening.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:15 PM on March 16, 2017 [21 favorites]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:15 PM on March 16, 2017 [21 favorites]
Assuming Internet, you get a much more prior-y sample from generic services like that one, because of computational spreading around of trending hashtags, boosts from ranking algos, etc. Illinois has 2x the pop of Indiana and a much more significant series of metropolitan areas so Illinois will prolly win
posted by hleehowon at 3:29 PM on March 16, 2017
posted by hleehowon at 3:29 PM on March 16, 2017
So is anybody else from "nowhere'); DROP TABLE survey;"?
posted by achrise at 3:30 PM on March 16, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by achrise at 3:30 PM on March 16, 2017 [6 favorites]
achrise: implementation by Google Forms, which is a tad more sophisticated than that
I also note no randomization of ordering. Usually big problem for Likert-sized multiple choice dealies without a spectrum of options like Likert, but there will be symmetry-breaking on that front
posted by hleehowon at 3:32 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
I also note no randomization of ordering. Usually big problem for Likert-sized multiple choice dealies without a spectrum of options like Likert, but there will be symmetry-breaking on that front
posted by hleehowon at 3:32 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
This is minimal risk but it does not fall into one of the exempt categories in the HHS guidelines. There should be an informed consent statement click through at least. Hope they don't plan to publish the data in a reputable academic journal!
My impression is that this is a pilot study their advisor is having them run as a learning experience, so I think they're probably safe to go without an IRB (since they're not collecting personally identifiable information, and have no intent to publish). If it was my study, I would still do the IRB work (if nothing else to have drafts for when the thing goes live), but if they're on a tight timeline for a course paper, then I can understand it.
posted by codacorolla at 3:36 PM on March 16, 2017 [13 favorites]
My impression is that this is a pilot study their advisor is having them run as a learning experience, so I think they're probably safe to go without an IRB (since they're not collecting personally identifiable information, and have no intent to publish). If it was my study, I would still do the IRB work (if nothing else to have drafts for when the thing goes live), but if they're on a tight timeline for a course paper, then I can understand it.
posted by codacorolla at 3:36 PM on March 16, 2017 [13 favorites]
I'm imagining a committee just eviscerating this research in front of a bunch of bawling 9 year olds, and for some reason it's making me laugh. I believe the academy has killed my tiny, darkened soul.
posted by codacorolla at 3:37 PM on March 16, 2017 [65 favorites]
posted by codacorolla at 3:37 PM on March 16, 2017 [65 favorites]
I'm imagining a committee just eviscerating this research in front of a bunch of bawling 9 year olds, and for some reason it's making me laugh. I believe the academy has killed my tiny, darkened soul."You clearly haven't done the necessary review of the current psychometric research in this area."
posted by demiurge at 3:49 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
> Kids! You are going to have a hard time regularizing that free text location field. Next time just ask for zip codes.
Seriously though, I hope a friendly neighbourhood data wonk will help Mrs. Porter sanitise those free entry fields and also just deal with the sheer volume of responses they're getting.
posted by lucidium at 3:52 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
Seriously though, I hope a friendly neighbourhood data wonk will help Mrs. Porter sanitise those free entry fields and also just deal with the sheer volume of responses they're getting.
posted by lucidium at 3:52 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
As an Indiana native and resident, I felt compelled to select Illinois. At least it has Chicago.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:53 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 3:53 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
And coloring > board games any day.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:56 PM on March 16, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 3:56 PM on March 16, 2017 [6 favorites]
I quickly glanced at the plot on Wikipedia and chose Elsa...Heh. Me too. Now I feel compelled to watch the film just to see if I was right. But, 2 out of 2 metafilter readers agree the wikipedia synopsis makes Elsa seem like the obvious choice.
I'm imagining a committee just eviscerating this research in front of a bunch of bawling 9 year olds, and for some reason it's making me laugh.I want to be on that review panel. (And I'm reminded of this.)
posted by eotvos at 4:00 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
Re: "Drop Tables"; of course this isn't going to do anything to the database, but if I can get one impressionable mind to ask their teacher why somebody answered that, then just maybe I've done my good deed for STEM today.
posted by achrise at 4:10 PM on March 16, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by achrise at 4:10 PM on March 16, 2017 [10 favorites]
I was SO TORN picking Illinois vs. Indiana because I HAVE CLEAR STRONG FEELINGS but on the other hand these adorable kids live in Indiana and I was tempted to vote for the Hoosier state but I had to vote my conscience, kids, sorry. Land of Lincoln 4 Lyfe!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:13 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:13 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
I don't know what Wikipedia says, but Elsa loses her temper and accidentally causes an event that could lead to the death of everybody in the kingdom. Then she runs away.
Anna makes a poor romantic choice -- largely because her sister's condition has caused her to be isolated for most of her life -- but then she bravely sets out to fix Elsa's mistake and bring her sister home and is, ultimately, the heroine of the movie.
I have strong feelings about this, having seen Frozen at least 50 times, but it's pretty obvious on first viewing.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:14 PM on March 16, 2017 [34 favorites]
Anna makes a poor romantic choice -- largely because her sister's condition has caused her to be isolated for most of her life -- but then she bravely sets out to fix Elsa's mistake and bring her sister home and is, ultimately, the heroine of the movie.
I have strong feelings about this, having seen Frozen at least 50 times, but it's pretty obvious on first viewing.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:14 PM on March 16, 2017 [34 favorites]
That's ok, Eyebrows, the sooner the tots learn the truth about the Hoosier state, the better.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:16 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 4:16 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
I picked Indiana because of Eerie, Indiana which was very popular in my corner of the UK in the nineties.
I picked a giraffe because they are infinitely cooler than zebras.
Choosing between board games and colouring was really quite difficult.
posted by threetwentytwo at 4:22 PM on March 16, 2017
I picked a giraffe because they are infinitely cooler than zebras.
Choosing between board games and colouring was really quite difficult.
posted by threetwentytwo at 4:22 PM on March 16, 2017
Atom Eyes: "If there is such a thing as Indianapolis style pizza, I sure as hell wouldn't want to eat it."
ok but what about soup?
posted by RobotHero at 4:57 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
ok but what about soup?
posted by RobotHero at 4:57 PM on March 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
Having never been to either Illinois or Indiana (the entire Midwest is semi mythical as far as I can tell; I am not at all sure that I believe in all those I-states) I picked Indiana for the obvious reason that I like the shape of the word better. Illinois just has too many verticals.
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:06 PM on March 16, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:06 PM on March 16, 2017 [6 favorites]
Having never been to either Illinois or Indiana (the entire Midwest is semi mythical as far as I can tell; I am not at all sure that I believe in all those I-states) I picked Indiana for the obvious reason that I like the shape of the word better. Illinois just has too many verticals.
The Music Man is a fine musical, but I think that its song about Gary, Indiana has such a thematic distance from the reality of the place that it makes my head spin. I have to imagine that many folks who loved Broadway more than traveling the country have made the same mistake.
posted by Going To Maine at 5:39 PM on March 16, 2017 [3 favorites]
The Music Man is a fine musical, but I think that its song about Gary, Indiana has such a thematic distance from the reality of the place that it makes my head spin. I have to imagine that many folks who loved Broadway more than traveling the country have made the same mistake.
posted by Going To Maine at 5:39 PM on March 16, 2017 [3 favorites]
Zebras! I lived in Illinois as a child and the only times I have been in Indiana it was South Bend in January, so I plumped for Indiana.
posted by Peach at 6:12 PM on March 16, 2017
posted by Peach at 6:12 PM on March 16, 2017
Yeah, I think The Music Man is great, but you can sort of see where Meredith Wilson was starting to run a bit dry. I mean, that's not really a song, you're just repeating "Gary, Indiana" over and over again.
Also, in that last number, you tried to rhyme "Marion" with "carrion".
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:14 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
Also, in that last number, you tried to rhyme "Marion" with "carrion".
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:14 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
Not married, likes Pokemon. Yup
posted by soakimbo at 6:37 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by soakimbo at 6:37 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
I had to look up Elsa An[n]a also.
I have seen the movie at least once. But it's required listening when I visit my granddaughter, so I've listened to (the first half of) the soundtrack approximately 200 times. Enough so I started to finally like it.
I'm definitely an Anna.
I'm also like, pizza or soup??
posted by MtDewd at 6:50 PM on March 16, 2017
I have seen the movie at least once. But it's required listening when I visit my granddaughter, so I've listened to (the first half of) the soundtrack approximately 200 times. Enough so I started to finally like it.
I'm definitely an Anna.
I'm also like, pizza or soup??
posted by MtDewd at 6:50 PM on March 16, 2017
Why is there now a giraffe in my yard?
posted by maxwelton at 6:54 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 6:54 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm imagining a committee just eviscerating this research in front of a bunch of bawling 9 year olds, and for some reason it's making me laugh. I believe the academy has killed my tiny, darkened soul.
What I'm picturing is exactly that going on and then one of the kids gets a stern expression and kicks Dean Smarmyface right in the goolies.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:01 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
What I'm picturing is exactly that going on and then one of the kids gets a stern expression and kicks Dean Smarmyface right in the goolies.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:01 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
I bet this is a front for a CIA-funded mind-control program.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:00 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 8:00 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
Normally zebra vs giraffe would have unhinged me, but I unapologetically went Team Giraffe in honor of the very-still-pregnant April.
posted by Mchelly at 8:05 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Mchelly at 8:05 PM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]
I had my third grader take the survey. She didn't know which state to pick so I said "Illinois has Chicago and Indiana has Pawnee and Eagleton". She went with Leslie Knope despite her love for the giant eyeball sculpture in Chicago. (We went to Chicago when she was too little to remember but she loves the picture of her in front of the eyeball.)
Also, Anna is clearly the correct answer but since they spelled it "Ana", I'm wondering if we're supposed to be choosing between "Frozen" and "Fifty Shades of Gray". If so, Frozen is the clear winner but then I'm concerned about Indiana's 2nd grade literature curriculum so we should have voted for Illinois.
posted by artychoke at 8:09 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
Also, Anna is clearly the correct answer but since they spelled it "Ana", I'm wondering if we're supposed to be choosing between "Frozen" and "Fifty Shades of Gray". If so, Frozen is the clear winner but then I'm concerned about Indiana's 2nd grade literature curriculum so we should have voted for Illinois.
posted by artychoke at 8:09 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
Team Giraffe.
posted by zebra at 8:41 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by zebra at 8:41 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
I learned things I never knew about myself!
posted by juliplease at 8:44 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by juliplease at 8:44 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
Where are you from? (city, state, country) Originally I was from one place, but more recently I'm from another. And then there's where I'm coming from now which is somewhere else again. I don't know, that text field seems so large. I could type a whole essay in there. I don't know what I'm going to do when I get to the rest of the questions with their binary selections, probably just give up in despair. Where are any of us from, really? Where did this world come from? Where did this machine come from, this global network of information that seems ready to take hold of its own existence and leave material reality behind? Who is Mrs. Porter? I could find the answer, but would I know anything more than before I tried? 2nd grade seems so far away.
Are you a farmer? Alas, no. I feel like already the survey is peering deep into my soul and finding me wanting. I should have been a farmer. A few months ago I visited a farm for the first time in years, it was the sort of place they have a whole lot of different animals. I made friends with a pig.
Do you like Pokemon? No.
What is your favorite activity? Board games. I am a board games addict. Previously it was Scrabble, now it is Go. It will be the death of me.
Who is your favorite Frozen character? I am vaguely aware that there's a character called Elsa. This minimal but non-zero level of knowledge of Frozen is deeply unsatisfying.
Do you work at a school? Work in school, learnin the supposed rule.
What kind of food do you like? Pizza with pineapple, ham, habanero, and tequila.
What kind of animal do you like? Zebra. They're sort of like horses, except they have not been domesticated. The zebra refuses slavery.
Do you like Legos? Yes.
What zoo animal do you like? Lion. But it depends on the zoo.
Do you like ice cream? Yes. Vanilla, and that green tea flavour that was fashionable for a little while a few years ago.
What is your favorite store? Wal-Mart. Their supply-chain management is second to none.
Are you on You Tube? Yes. Some day when I have a better net connection, I feel like I should upload my entire life to youtube. Or maybe just the good parts, and the bad parts, leaving out most of the rest.
What color hair do you have? Brown. I am in some need of a haircut, but there are no satisfactory options for getting one. Doing it myself with the shears down to 1/4 inch is okay, but I don't know if I want to get rid of that much of it this time. I know people who would be willing to cut my hair, but I don't trust any of them to have the slightest chance of doing a good job. The only places that offer the hair-cutting-as-a-service thing seem way too expensive. Some kind of innovative new solution is needed. For now I have settled on not cutting it.
What is your favorite subject? Science. It is such a great word, "science". It's so talked-about that I'm not even sure what it means any more. But I'm still a fan.
Which state do you like more? I have driven through Illinois one time, so that one I guess. The interstate highway was absolutely stupendous. Such driving. So traffic.
Are you married? No.
Does your name start with a vowel or consonant? Maybe. I don't want to give away any personally-identifying information. You can assume I'm lying about everything else.
Do you live in a house or an apartment? Yes.
Can you write in cursive? No. I am inadequate. I see that, now. Thank you, Mrs. Porter's 2nd Grade Class.
posted by sfenders at 9:01 PM on March 16, 2017 [11 favorites]
Are you a farmer? Alas, no. I feel like already the survey is peering deep into my soul and finding me wanting. I should have been a farmer. A few months ago I visited a farm for the first time in years, it was the sort of place they have a whole lot of different animals. I made friends with a pig.
Do you like Pokemon? No.
What is your favorite activity? Board games. I am a board games addict. Previously it was Scrabble, now it is Go. It will be the death of me.
Who is your favorite Frozen character? I am vaguely aware that there's a character called Elsa. This minimal but non-zero level of knowledge of Frozen is deeply unsatisfying.
Do you work at a school? Work in school, learnin the supposed rule.
What kind of food do you like? Pizza with pineapple, ham, habanero, and tequila.
What kind of animal do you like? Zebra. They're sort of like horses, except they have not been domesticated. The zebra refuses slavery.
Do you like Legos? Yes.
What zoo animal do you like? Lion. But it depends on the zoo.
Do you like ice cream? Yes. Vanilla, and that green tea flavour that was fashionable for a little while a few years ago.
What is your favorite store? Wal-Mart. Their supply-chain management is second to none.
Are you on You Tube? Yes. Some day when I have a better net connection, I feel like I should upload my entire life to youtube. Or maybe just the good parts, and the bad parts, leaving out most of the rest.
What color hair do you have? Brown. I am in some need of a haircut, but there are no satisfactory options for getting one. Doing it myself with the shears down to 1/4 inch is okay, but I don't know if I want to get rid of that much of it this time. I know people who would be willing to cut my hair, but I don't trust any of them to have the slightest chance of doing a good job. The only places that offer the hair-cutting-as-a-service thing seem way too expensive. Some kind of innovative new solution is needed. For now I have settled on not cutting it.
What is your favorite subject? Science. It is such a great word, "science". It's so talked-about that I'm not even sure what it means any more. But I'm still a fan.
Which state do you like more? I have driven through Illinois one time, so that one I guess. The interstate highway was absolutely stupendous. Such driving. So traffic.
Are you married? No.
Does your name start with a vowel or consonant? Maybe. I don't want to give away any personally-identifying information. You can assume I'm lying about everything else.
Do you live in a house or an apartment? Yes.
Can you write in cursive? No. I am inadequate. I see that, now. Thank you, Mrs. Porter's 2nd Grade Class.
posted by sfenders at 9:01 PM on March 16, 2017 [11 favorites]
I'm imagining a committee just eviscerating this research in front of a bunch of bawling 9 year olds, and for some reason it's making me laugh. I believe the academy has killed my tiny, darkened soul.
If they're in 2nd grade shouldn't they be 7 years old? Or 8 for those who've already had their birthday in 2017.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 9:14 PM on March 16, 2017
If they're in 2nd grade shouldn't they be 7 years old? Or 8 for those who've already had their birthday in 2017.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 9:14 PM on March 16, 2017
Oh god, I didn't know they were from Indiana and I put Illinois!
I am so sorry, adorable schoolchildren! Indiana is nice, too! I am a monster!
posted by mochapickle at 9:21 PM on March 16, 2017 [7 favorites]
I am so sorry, adorable schoolchildren! Indiana is nice, too! I am a monster!
posted by mochapickle at 9:21 PM on March 16, 2017 [7 favorites]
Oh god, I didn't know they were from Indiana and I put Illinois!It's okay. In 12 years, they'll have an opportunity to choose where they want to live, and they can look back on this experience as inspiration.
posted by eotvos at 9:27 PM on March 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
Hmm, the meanest and most probably efficaceous attack is a good ol' social one: just put instructions for copying a malicious command or something and pasting in commandline, given that someone will read it
posted by hleehowon at 11:06 PM on March 16, 2017
posted by hleehowon at 11:06 PM on March 16, 2017
Oh goddamn it. I answered "board games" rather than "colouring", but I haven't played a board game in years, but have drawn dozens of colouring pages this month alone.
I am sorry, children. My answer is a self-serving lie in the interests of creating a person different than the person who I am. I can't ask for your forgiveness, but all I can ask is that you assume that all adults are doing this with everything they say.
posted by frimble at 11:39 PM on March 16, 2017 [7 favorites]
I am sorry, children. My answer is a self-serving lie in the interests of creating a person different than the person who I am. I can't ask for your forgiveness, but all I can ask is that you assume that all adults are doing this with everything they say.
posted by frimble at 11:39 PM on March 16, 2017 [7 favorites]
Well, frimble, maybe i balance you out--I put "board games" because I actually play a ton of them, whereas coloring books I tend to carry around aspirationally without doing much actual coloring.
posted by nat at 11:58 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by nat at 11:58 PM on March 16, 2017 [2 favorites]
I hate to break it to y'all, but anyone who picks Elsa over Anna is basically casting their lot with the Ayn Randians of the world. You might as well start advocating for school vouchers and flat taxes and writing gushy fan letters to Paul Ryan.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:00 AM on March 17, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:00 AM on March 17, 2017 [9 favorites]
What proportion of countries have "States" (yes, I'm really actually asking, because I'm curious)?
(Also: thank you Atom Eyes, I know nothing about Frozen, and now I have some reason to make a choice)
posted by pompomtom at 12:20 AM on March 17, 2017
(Also: thank you Atom Eyes, I know nothing about Frozen, and now I have some reason to make a choice)
posted by pompomtom at 12:20 AM on March 17, 2017
Elsa is who I am, Anna is who I want to be.
I chose Elsa.
posted by Braeburn at 12:23 AM on March 17, 2017
I chose Elsa.
posted by Braeburn at 12:23 AM on March 17, 2017
For some reason I was thinking that theodolite was wrong and that zebras were rather stripey deer than stripey horses, but an excursion to Google proved them right. After skimming the article and discovering that there are different species of zebra, I had to go to the giraffe article and check, and discovered that there are several species of giraffe as well. So the survey made me learn stuff unintentionally. I suspect Mrs. Porter would be pleased.
posted by Harald74 at 12:36 AM on March 17, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Harald74 at 12:36 AM on March 17, 2017 [6 favorites]
Stop saying that, Mrs. Porter. Of course we're fucking farmers.
posted by jeudi at 2:59 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by jeudi at 2:59 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
I picked Elsa. I am so sorry, adorable schoolchildren!
BUT ELSA IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE, RICK.
posted by mochapickle at 3:54 AM on March 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
BUT ELSA IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE, RICK.
posted by mochapickle at 3:54 AM on March 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
anyone who picks Elsa over Anna is basically casting their lot with the Ayn Randians of the world.
Elsa gets the best outfit and the best song. Builds her own ice palace, which is magnificent. She's an upgraded version of a frost mage, which is the most enjoyable class/spec in WoW. Plus, my niece would be flabbergasted if I didn't pick Elsa. My niece is quite a generous soul who protects me from snakes, using her Elsa-inspired ice magic, when we're out hiking in the summer.
Objectivism and Ayn Rand has nothing to do with it.
posted by honestcoyote at 4:02 AM on March 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
Elsa gets the best outfit and the best song. Builds her own ice palace, which is magnificent. She's an upgraded version of a frost mage, which is the most enjoyable class/spec in WoW. Plus, my niece would be flabbergasted if I didn't pick Elsa. My niece is quite a generous soul who protects me from snakes, using her Elsa-inspired ice magic, when we're out hiking in the summer.
Objectivism and Ayn Rand has nothing to do with it.
posted by honestcoyote at 4:02 AM on March 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
Isn't there something in statistics where you position questions so that they lead to a certain answer, in which case, Elsa/Ana : what is its secret impact on whether we work in a school? Is this just local politics in disguise? Just what do we know about this mysterious Mrs. Porter?
2016 ruined my life and broke my brain
posted by eclectist at 4:20 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
2016 ruined my life and broke my brain
posted by eclectist at 4:20 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Elsa gets the best outfit and the best song
I mean, as a song-in-itself, I guess "Let It Go" is better, but as a musical number that both advances the plot and will make you weep uncontrollably, "Do You Want To Build a Snowman" shreds it eight ways to Sunday.
And here I am, debating Frozen on Metafilter. This is my life.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:23 AM on March 17, 2017 [13 favorites]
I mean, as a song-in-itself, I guess "Let It Go" is better, but as a musical number that both advances the plot and will make you weep uncontrollably, "Do You Want To Build a Snowman" shreds it eight ways to Sunday.
And here I am, debating Frozen on Metafilter. This is my life.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:23 AM on March 17, 2017 [13 favorites]
I'm pretty sure I got this exact same survey from the Ben Carson '16 campaign. Then they tried to sell me a giraffe.
posted by PlusDistance at 4:26 AM on March 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by PlusDistance at 4:26 AM on March 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
And here I am, debating Frozen on Metafilter.
No debate from me. I've only seen the movie with my niece when she was in fully activated Elsa fangirl mode. Lots of yelling, and pausing the movie so she could practice her ice magic on me. Made it very difficult to follow the whole thing.
One day, I'll have to watch the movie by myself.
posted by honestcoyote at 4:48 AM on March 17, 2017
No debate from me. I've only seen the movie with my niece when she was in fully activated Elsa fangirl mode. Lots of yelling, and pausing the movie so she could practice her ice magic on me. Made it very difficult to follow the whole thing.
One day, I'll have to watch the movie by myself.
posted by honestcoyote at 4:48 AM on March 17, 2017
Why is there now a giraffe in my yard?
posted by maxwelton at 6:54 PM on March 16 [+] [!]
Because I got your zebra.
posted by Paul Slade at 4:54 AM on March 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 6:54 PM on March 16 [+] [!]
Because I got your zebra.
posted by Paul Slade at 4:54 AM on March 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
Why is there now a giraffe in my yard?
True story: my next door neighbor has a zebra. One day, we looked out our front window and noticed the zebra was in our front yard. I was like, NEED PICTURES! but my more level-headed spouse wanted to make sure the zebra got home safely so I don't have any documentation of this event. Turns out zebras, or at least the one that lives next door (her name is Shiloh) are assholes. She did NOT want to go home. Hoo boy.
Even though zebras are assholes, I still picked zebra, because yay stripy horses + giraffes keep you in suspense for way too long.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 5:21 AM on March 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
True story: my next door neighbor has a zebra. One day, we looked out our front window and noticed the zebra was in our front yard. I was like, NEED PICTURES! but my more level-headed spouse wanted to make sure the zebra got home safely so I don't have any documentation of this event. Turns out zebras, or at least the one that lives next door (her name is Shiloh) are assholes. She did NOT want to go home. Hoo boy.
Even though zebras are assholes, I still picked zebra, because yay stripy horses + giraffes keep you in suspense for way too long.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 5:21 AM on March 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
Also I am chuffed to discover that, having no knowledge of Frozen whatsoever, I apparently picked the right choice. Though I share mochapickle's dismay over accidentally dissing these kids' home state.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 5:30 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 5:30 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Oh god, I didn't know they were from Indiana and I put Illinois!I assumed they were from Indiana, because only a person from Indiana would ask that question. I still put Illinois, because I don't believe in coddling children, and it is clearly the right answer.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:14 AM on March 17, 2017 [16 favorites]
So a friend of a friend of a friend posted this on my friend's facebook post about the survey:
"It may be about graphs on the surface. What it's actually doing is teaching children they only have two choices and when those choices are buying into the system by either liking Walmart or liking Toys Are Us I'm very glad to 'miss the point'. Figure out another way to teach them graphs. I want them to learn that the important lesson is that they don't have to believe they're some kind of freak because their teacher thinks their favourite subject should be either science or math and it's neither one of those."
And we were all like....umm....maybe you missed the point? So we pointed out that the students designed the survey and they all submitted questions and THEY'RE SECOND GRADERS, she said:
"Okay, then that makes it kind of funny. I hope, though, that the teacher explained to them that there were, in fact, lots more choices out there. There should have been a 'neither of the above' for each question."
And we were all like (to each other), jeez, killjoy. They're seven, maybe eight years old. Their choices right now consist of which shirt to wear to school and whether or not to play Lego or Frozen during Choice Time.
I'm pretty happy that all y'all here loved this as much as I did.
posted by cooker girl at 7:03 AM on March 17, 2017 [13 favorites]
"It may be about graphs on the surface. What it's actually doing is teaching children they only have two choices and when those choices are buying into the system by either liking Walmart or liking Toys Are Us I'm very glad to 'miss the point'. Figure out another way to teach them graphs. I want them to learn that the important lesson is that they don't have to believe they're some kind of freak because their teacher thinks their favourite subject should be either science or math and it's neither one of those."
And we were all like....umm....maybe you missed the point? So we pointed out that the students designed the survey and they all submitted questions and THEY'RE SECOND GRADERS, she said:
"Okay, then that makes it kind of funny. I hope, though, that the teacher explained to them that there were, in fact, lots more choices out there. There should have been a 'neither of the above' for each question."
And we were all like (to each other), jeez, killjoy. They're seven, maybe eight years old. Their choices right now consist of which shirt to wear to school and whether or not to play Lego or Frozen during Choice Time.
I'm pretty happy that all y'all here loved this as much as I did.
posted by cooker girl at 7:03 AM on March 17, 2017 [13 favorites]
Jeez Louise. Every damn thing is problematic on the internet.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:09 AM on March 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:09 AM on March 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
I picked Indiana because that's where GenCon is.
posted by Scattercat at 7:24 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Scattercat at 7:24 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Was Elsa actually given anything to do in the film? I only remember her being a magic ice shooting MacGuffin.
posted by lucidium at 8:33 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by lucidium at 8:33 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm a full time student. Do I work at a school? I can't decide!
posted by jacquilynne at 9:20 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by jacquilynne at 9:20 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Who is your favorite Frozen character?
I'm a farmer who can't write in cursive, loves legos, and wants to be Olaf. HE has the best song...
posted by ikahime at 9:40 AM on March 17, 2017
I'm a farmer who can't write in cursive, loves legos, and wants to be Olaf. HE has the best song...
posted by ikahime at 9:40 AM on March 17, 2017
Do you work in a school? No, but I get schooled at work all the time.
This pizza or soup question was such an obvious choice that I started seconding guessing myself and wondering if this was some sort of trick question. It's not right? Team Pizza!!!
posted by AugustWest at 10:07 AM on March 17, 2017
This pizza or soup question was such an obvious choice that I started seconding guessing myself and wondering if this was some sort of trick question. It's not right? Team Pizza!!!
posted by AugustWest at 10:07 AM on March 17, 2017
I think soup has the potential to be a better meal, but even sort of shitty pizza is always OK (if you cut out the absolute dregs). I voted Pizza, but it won by a slim margin.
To be honest, this sort of thing is why my study design would include a mixed methods approach with purposeful sampling for deeper qualitative data that is used to triangulate and contextualize the quantitative large-N data. More work in terms of coding and collection, but worth it in the long run. At the very least you have to put this sort of thing into "future research" as part of your conclusions section, to recognize that it's a limitation and that you've put thought into how to address it.
posted by codacorolla at 10:18 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
To be honest, this sort of thing is why my study design would include a mixed methods approach with purposeful sampling for deeper qualitative data that is used to triangulate and contextualize the quantitative large-N data. More work in terms of coding and collection, but worth it in the long run. At the very least you have to put this sort of thing into "future research" as part of your conclusions section, to recognize that it's a limitation and that you've put thought into how to address it.
posted by codacorolla at 10:18 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
I feel like I did something like this in my elementary school? The only thing that it taught me is that I dislike binary choices.
posted by yueliang at 10:43 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by yueliang at 10:43 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
I think I am going to ask these kids to write a new version of The Big MetaFilter Survey.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:57 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:57 AM on March 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
The survey closes today, and they are supposedly going to post some of the preliminary results (prior to peer review, one would assume, and thus suspect) on their Facebook page in the next few days.
https://www.facebook.com/North-Vermillion-Elementary-School-724115644396633/?hc_ref=PAGES_TIMELINE&fref=nf
(ps Non-farmer cursive-writer Ana giraffe)
posted by nkknkk at 11:20 AM on March 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
https://www.facebook.com/North-Vermillion-Elementary-School-724115644396633/?hc_ref=PAGES_TIMELINE&fref=nf
(ps Non-farmer cursive-writer Ana giraffe)
posted by nkknkk at 11:20 AM on March 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
The survey closes today, and they are supposedly going to post some of the preliminary results (prior to peer review, one would assume, and thus suspect) on their Facebook page in the next few days.
Wow, I'd been giving them the benefit of the doubt so far, but this is absolutely terrible praxis, and their institution should immediately call them to task on it. Inexcusable.
posted by codacorolla at 11:32 AM on March 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
Wow, I'd been giving them the benefit of the doubt so far, but this is absolutely terrible praxis, and their institution should immediately call them to task on it. Inexcusable.
posted by codacorolla at 11:32 AM on March 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
Atom Eyes: "I hate to break it to y'all, but anyone who picks Elsa over Anna is basically casting their lot with the Ayn Randians of the world. You might as well start advocating for school vouchers and flat taxes and writing gushy fan letters to Paul Ryan."
Ahem. Elsa is a goddamn ice wizard.
posted by medusa at 1:07 PM on March 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
Ahem. Elsa is a goddamn ice wizard.
posted by medusa at 1:07 PM on March 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
I still write in cursive. Everyone else who does that is mostly like 20 years older than I.
Also, Illinois gave us Barrack Obama. Indiana gave us Michael Pence. So....yeah.
posted by Excommunicated Cardinal at 1:33 PM on March 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
Also, Illinois gave us Barrack Obama. Indiana gave us Michael Pence. So....yeah.
posted by Excommunicated Cardinal at 1:33 PM on March 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
I still write in cursive. Everyone else who does that is mostly like 20 years older than I.
Or in second grade.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:20 PM on March 17, 2017
Or in second grade.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:20 PM on March 17, 2017
Post from the school’s Facebook, one hour ago:
Wow, what a week! Mrs. Porter’s 2nd graders never imagined that their simple little survey would become such a big hit around the world! We want to thank everyone for their participation and positive support of their project. At this time, there have been so many responses that the survey results are unavailable. We have been in touch with Google and they are working on resolving the issue. As soon as we are able, we will post the responses on this page. Thank you!
Today, children, you will get to learn about BigQuery…
posted by Going To Maine at 2:23 PM on March 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
Wow, what a week! Mrs. Porter’s 2nd graders never imagined that their simple little survey would become such a big hit around the world! We want to thank everyone for their participation and positive support of their project. At this time, there have been so many responses that the survey results are unavailable. We have been in touch with Google and they are working on resolving the issue. As soon as we are able, we will post the responses on this page. Thank you!
Today, children, you will get to learn about BigQuery…
posted by Going To Maine at 2:23 PM on March 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
Update: they got 1.2 million responses!
posted by rabbitrabbit at 5:12 AM on March 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 5:12 AM on March 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Something that I keep meaning to mention re: the Illinois vs. Indiana question is the specific importance of the school's location in Vermillion (with 2 'Ls) County, Indiana (where my grandfather's family was from) which borders Vermilion County (with 1 L), Illinois (where my grandparents raised my mother and her siblings in Vermilion Grove, a little crossroads of a not-town that had a dang-near-one-room school house for elementary school up through 1965 that my mother and all siblings but her youngest brother attended).
The border between the two states is barely marked, if at all, on the multiple small roads that lead across it.
Given that the locals can't even agree on how to spell the names of their bordering counties, it surprises me not at all that "Illinois or Indiana?" is a question here.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:42 AM on March 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
The border between the two states is barely marked, if at all, on the multiple small roads that lead across it.
Given that the locals can't even agree on how to spell the names of their bordering counties, it surprises me not at all that "Illinois or Indiana?" is a question here.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:42 AM on March 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
Update: they got 1.2 million responses!
I’m actually legit surprised that a Google Form / Doc can’t handle 1.2 million responses. I mean, I don’t know that doing so would be fun, necessarily - but it doesn’t seem like that should be intractable.
posted by Going To Maine at 5:06 PM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
I’m actually legit surprised that a Google Form / Doc can’t handle 1.2 million responses. I mean, I don’t know that doing so would be fun, necessarily - but it doesn’t seem like that should be intractable.
posted by Going To Maine at 5:06 PM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
I guess the free text field at the beginning would be the hardest part about it. Everything else is just a +1 value in each particular radio button's field.
The thought of coding 1.2 Million uniquely phrased and possibly completely garbage free text replies gives me sympathetic stress hives.
posted by codacorolla at 5:10 PM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
The thought of coding 1.2 Million uniquely phrased and possibly completely garbage free text replies gives me sympathetic stress hives.
posted by codacorolla at 5:10 PM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
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