Your Favorite Fictional Band or Fictional Athlete Sucks!
March 19, 2017 10:24 PM   Subscribe

     Who's in the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame? The Hanson Brothers sure as %!*& are, and so is Harry Doyle. But what about Amanda Whurlitzer? and Dukes? Maybe not yet, but you can vote for them!
     Same with the Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: Spinal Tap, The Monkees, and the Blues Brothers were shoo-ins for the inaugrural year – but Wyld Stallyns, The Rutles, The Banana Splits and The Richie Cunningham Experience are waiting for you to seal their place in fake rock-n-roll history!
posted by not_on_display (51 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
What no Doof Warrior?

And what about that computer in Look Around You with the hit "Hey there Little Mouse"?
posted by boilermonster at 11:08 PM on March 19, 2017 [2 favorites]

Wow. Just in the first couple pages of eligible acts, I found Alvin and the Chipmunks (who were so much better in the '60s than in any of their more recent revivals), The Beets (KILLER TOFU!!!), Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers and so many fake acts from the Simpsons (of whom by far the greatest was Bleeding Gums Murphy). It makes me feel like I've enjoyed more fake bands than real ones (but then I was growing up when every Saturday Morning Cartoon Show had a fake rock band in its soundtrack).
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:15 PM on March 19, 2017 [2 favorites]

No Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters? Bogus.
posted by MrVisible at 11:19 PM on March 19, 2017 [4 favorites]

But honestly, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem is NOT a fake band. They performed at the Outside Lands Festival last year!!! And hey, Rowlf is nominated too...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:23 PM on March 19, 2017 [8 favorites]

Preeeeetty loose on the notion of fictional "athlete" ... George Costanza, Dan Rydell, Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler" ("Normally we don’t want to see middle aged strippers ..." um ...)

It seems like any list without Roy Hobbs is a bit lacking.

Also Leif Garrett as Paul Rogers.

The sports list is actually pretty terrible.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:40 PM on March 19, 2017 [1 favorite]

Disappointed not to see The Tenmen in the Fictional Bands.
I mean, they have their own licensed merch and everything.

(C'mon Onstad we're still holding torches here)
posted by Plutocratte at 12:25 AM on March 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

Strange Fruit! I love those guys.
posted by j_curiouser at 12:54 AM on March 20, 2017

No Geronimo Jackson?
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:12 AM on March 20, 2017

On the plus side, there are separate entries for Winslow Leach, Phoenix, Swan, Beef, and the Juicy Fruits/Beach Bums/Undeads.

On the huge minus side, where is the Riverbottom Nightmare Band?
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:35 AM on March 20, 2017 [5 favorites]

Any list with "All you need is Cash" on it is a good list in my book. I still call my dad Ron Nasty.
posted by Sphinx at 3:55 AM on March 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

The Hanson Brothers is a real band though.
posted by farlukar at 4:09 AM on March 20, 2017 [5 favorites]

Peach Fuzz Experience (also referred to as PFC), mentioned in passing on the show Medical Center (1969-1976).
posted by datawrangler at 4:12 AM on March 20, 2017

No love for folk music? Nominating Soggy Bottom Boys, from "O Brother Where Art Thou?"
posted by datawrangler at 4:18 AM on March 20, 2017 [5 favorites]

Glad to see the Stains AND The Looters made the list!
posted by pxe2000 at 5:42 AM on March 20, 2017

Spinal Tap aren't a fictional band! They're a real band with a fictitious backstory and stage personas. They've written and recorded music, played gigs, released albums. If they're a fictional band, then I guess at least one of my bands is fictional too, because the above is exactly how we roll.
posted by Dysk at 6:13 AM on March 20, 2017 [4 favorites]

Disagree with their editorial comment that "... you probably don’t remember anything [Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem] performed."

The only reply I can possibly make to that is --

Everybody's lover, everybody's brother
I wanna be your lifetime friend
Crazy as a rocket, nothin' in my pocket
I keep it at the rainbow's end
I never think of money, I think of milk 'n honey
Grinnin' like a Cheshire cat
I focus on the pleasure, somethin' I can treasure
Can you picture that?
posted by kyrademon at 6:16 AM on March 20, 2017 [15 favorites]

Spinal Tap aren't a fictional band! They're a real band with a fictitious backstory and stage personas.

Hmm. So would be the Blues Brothers. Im going to go with "Fictional band that also is a real band" or maybe even "fictional Brandon the medium of a real band".
posted by Artw at 6:28 AM on March 20, 2017

This post is indistinguishable from every 'Best 100 Bands of the 2000s' post
posted by beerperson at 6:29 AM on March 20, 2017

Riverbottom Nightmare Band or GTFO.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:43 AM on March 20, 2017 [8 favorites]

Athlete - that kid from Rookie of the Year. He has a World Series ring with the Cubs after all!

Band - The Archies
posted by Billiken at 7:21 AM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

No Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters? Bogus.
They are listed as Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shacks Shooters.

Yes, The Wonders are there too. Along with The Heardsmen, Del Paxton, and Freddy Fredsickson.

After consulting the movie soundtrack listing, The Norm Wooster Singers, The Chantrellines, Diane Dane, The Saturn 5, and the Vicksburgs are not present. Although I think only two of these acts actually appear in the movie.
posted by Badgermann at 7:24 AM on March 20, 2017 [3 favorites]

Mitch and Mickey are my favourite fictional folk duo.
posted by h00py at 7:28 AM on March 20, 2017 [5 favorites]

I found myself unable to effectively navigate that site to find out whether Mok was on the list. He should be, and he should win, because summoning demons.
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:37 AM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

No Leslie de Gaulle Trio? Blatant liberal bias!

They should call it the FAKE Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!
posted by PlusDistance at 7:38 AM on March 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

Yes, The Wonders are there too. Along with The Heardsmen, Del Paxton, and Freddy Fredsickson.

The Chantrellines were robbed.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:49 AM on March 20, 2017

In my headcanon, Crash Davis went on to a Hall of Fame career as a manager in The Show, finally getting the success that eluded him as a player.
posted by madajb at 8:31 AM on March 20, 2017

> "Spinal Tap aren't a fictional band! They're a real band with a fictitious backstory and stage personas."

They appear to be counting bands that started as fictional bands but later became real bands. I mean, The Monkees were also among the first inductees.
posted by kyrademon at 8:42 AM on March 20, 2017

Hello everyone.

First off, let me say that i love this discussion....

Second, because the sites in question are actually mine.

This thread is certainly adding to potential nominees that we may have overlooked on both sites, which we can certainly add.

Are there any others, they you would like to see?
posted by NIHOF at 9:26 AM on March 20, 2017 [9 favorites]

Otis Day and the Knights
posted by e1c at 10:56 AM on March 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

Crystal Shit!
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 11:01 AM on March 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

Otis Day is a nominee.... Stonestock, the Crystal Shit from the Dead Milkmen song?
posted by NIHOF at 11:23 AM on March 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

I note a lack of Clark Kent and His Supermen, and the other ~200 bands from the Illuminatus! trilogy.

Clark Kent and His Supermen • The Fillet of Soul • The Wrathful Visions • The Cockroaches • The Senate and the People of Rome • The Ultra-Violet Hippopotamus • The Thing on the Doorstep • Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures • The Glue Sniffers • King Kong and His Skull Island Dinosaurs • The Howard Johnson Hamburger • The Riot in Cell Block Ten • The House of Frankenstein • The Signifying Monkey • The Damned Thing • The Orange Moose • The Indigo Banana • The Pink Elephant • Frodo Baggins and His Ring • The Mouse That Roars • The Crew of the Flying Saucer • The Magnificent Ambersons • The House I Live In • The Sound of One Hand • The Territorial Imperative • The Druids of Stonehenge • The Heads of Easter Island • The Lost Continent of Mu • Bugs Bunny and His Fourteen Carrots • The Gospel According to Marx • The Card-Carrying Members • The Sands of Mars • The Erection • The Association • The Amalgamation • The St Valentine's Day Massacre • The Climax • The Broad Jumpers • The Pubic Heirs • The Freeks • and the Windows • Mick Jagger and his new group the Trashers • The Roofs • Moses and Monotheism • Steppenwolf • Civilization and Its Discontents • Poor Richard and His Rosicrucian Secrets • The Wrist Watch • The Nova Express • The Father of Waters • The Human Beings • The Washington Monument • The Thalidomide Babies • The Strangers in a Strange Land • Dr John the Night Tripper • Joan Baez • The Dead Man's Hand • Joker and the One-Eyed Jacks • Peyote Woman • The Heavenly Blues • The Golems • The Supreme Awakening • The Seven Types of Ambiguity • The Cold War • The Street Fighters • The Bank Burners • The Slaves of Satan • The Domino Theory • and Maxwell and His Demons • The Acapulco Gold-Diggers • The Epic of Gilgamesh • The Second Law of Thermodynamics • Dracula and His Brides • The Iron Curtain • The Noisy Minority • The International Debt • Three Contributions to the Theory of Sex • The Cloud of Unknowing • The Birth of a Nation • The Zombies • Attila and His Huns • Nihilism • The Catatonics • The Thorndale Jag Offs • The Haymarket Bomb • The Head of a Dead Cat • The Shadow Out of Time • The Sirens of Titan • The Player Piano • The Streets of Laredo • The Space Odyssey • The Blue Moonies • The Crabs • The Dose • The Grassy Knoll • The Latent Image • The Wheel of Karma • The Communion of Saints • The City of God • General Indefinite Wobble • The Left-Handed Monkey Wrench • The Thorn in the Flesh • The Rising Podge • SHA-ZAM • The Miniature Sled • The 23rd Appendix • The Other Cheek • The Occidental Ox • Ms and the Chairperson • Cohen Cohen Cohen and Kahn • The Joint Phenomenon • The Wonders of the Invisible World • Maule's Curse • The Jesus Head Trip • Ahab and His Amputation • The Horseless Headsmen • The Leaves of Grass • The Gettysburg Address • The Rosy- Fingered Dawn • The Wine-Dark Sea • Nirvana • The Net of Jewels • Here Comes Everybody • The Pisan Cantos • The Snows of Yesteryear • The Pink Dimension • The Goose in the Bottle • The Incredible Hulk • The Third Bardo • Aversion Therapy • The Irresistible Force • MC Squared • The Enclosure Acts • Perpetual Emotion • The 99-Year Lease • The Immovable Object • Spaceship Earth • The Radiocarbon Method • The Rebel Yell • The Clenched Fist • The Doomsday Machine • The Rand Scenario • The United States Commitment • The Entwives • The Players of Null-A • The Prelude to Space • Thunder and Roses • Armageddon • The Time Machine • The Mason' Word • The Monkey Business • The Works • The Eight of Swords • Gorilla Warfare • The Box Lunch • The Primate Kingdom • The New Aeon • The Enola Gay • The Octet Truss • The Stochastic Process • The Fluxions • The Burning House • The Phantom Captain • The Decline of the West • The Duelists • The Call of the Wild • Consciousness III • The Reorganized Church of the Latter-Day Saints • Standard Oil of Ohio • The Zig-Zag Men • The Rubble Risers • The Children of Ra • TNT • Acceptable Radiation • The Pollution Level • The Great Beast • The Whores of Babylon • The Waste Land • The Ugly Truth • The Final Diagnosis • Solution Unsatisfactory • The Heat Death of the Universe • Mere Noise • I Opening • The Nine Unknown Men • The Horse of Another Color • The Falling Rock Zone • The Ascent of the Serpent • Reddy Willing and Unable • The Civic Monster • Hercules and the Tortoise • The Middle Pillar • The Deleted Expletive • Deep Quote • LuCiFeR • The Dog Star • Nuthin' Sirius • Preparation H

I always rather wanted to hear an album by Three Contributions to the Theory of Sex.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 1:48 PM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Have just logged my votes, and cast a vote for The Commitments among them (what the hell do you MEAN it didn't make it big in North America?)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:23 PM on March 20, 2017

I think it's more than about time that we induct Mok into the Hall of Fame. He's the biggest thing since World War III!

We should probably also include Tonight's Last Act.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:29 PM on March 20, 2017

...because the sites in question are actually mine.

Welcome to MetaFilter, NIHOF, where no list of anything is ever complete!

This thread is certainly adding to potential nominees that we may have overlooked on both sites, which we can certainly add. Are there any others, they you would like to see?

It's The Young Ones as a Metal Band!
And produced at the same time as Spinal Tap.
posted by not_on_display at 7:21 PM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Granted he's a solo act, but Greg Universe deserves a spot.
posted by nonasuch at 7:22 PM on March 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Drimble Wedge and the Vegetations!
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 8:42 PM on March 20, 2017

Amazingly, you are all blowing my mind with other potential nominees that we had not previously considered!

How did we only find about this site now!
posted by NIHOF at 3:11 AM on March 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

I think I searched everywhere but I didn't see this from Parks and Recreation:
Mouse Rat - The Pit
Andy Dwyer solo: 5000 Candles in the Wind; Sudden Death Song

Or these:
Sex Bob-Omb - We Are Sex Bob-Omb (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)
Drive Shaft - You All Everybody (Lost)
posted by Room 641-A at 4:20 AM on March 21, 2017

Driveshaft is in there.

How about Disaster Area from the Hitchhikers' canon?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:43 AM on March 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

Belatedly adding: "Disaster Area" is the band whose lead singer was Hotblack Desiato.

(Funfact: "Hotblack Desiato" is actually the name of a real estate franchise in London, and apparently Douglas Adams saw the name while walking around his Islington neighborhood once and immediately thought it would be an awesome character name. Several years later I was walking around London while visiting, accompanied by some London mefites, and saw the same sign and stopped dead and hastily started taking out my camera for a picture - and the Londoners saw me and I think subtly rolled their eyes all "oh no, here we go again" and waited for me to get my picture.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:47 AM on March 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

There's also Love Händel from Phineas and Ferb.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:46 AM on March 21, 2017

In on particular order, some potential nominees I did not see on the site:
  • Savage Henry and the Bulldaggers (Those Annoying Post Brothers) -- Nominated for the ability to shift between realities and for playing lead guitar while wearing welders gloves.
  • Zorak and The Original Wayouts (house band of Space Ghost Coast to Coast) -- Nominated for actually being Sonny Sharrock while appearing to be no more than 13 seconds of re-purposed 1960s animation. Several albums released.
  • The Bedbugs (F-Troop)-- Nominated for actually being The Factory, featuring pre-Little Feat Lowell George and Richie Hayward.
  • Jimmy Thudpucker (Doonesbury) -- Nominated for playing guitar, harmonica, and piano on two songs (I think) on a teevy special, releasing (at least one) album, and being interviewed by Rolling Stone despite the handicap of being a minor character in a newspaper comic strip.
  • The Beagles (The Beagles) -- Nominated for being musical dogs and because you've already got the likes of the Impossibles, the Wayouts, and the Archies.
  • Smeg and the Heads (Red Dwarf) -- Nominated for performing the free world jazz rock drone poetry piece "Om" and for featuring the last human alive on vocals.
  • The Cabinet of the United States of Being (Waiting for the Electrician . . . ) -- Nominated for being the fastest rising interim governmental administration in the western hemisphere and for featuring on lead guitar, the Secretary of Peace, on drums, the Secretary of Inner Self, and on saxophone, the Secretary of States of Consciousness.
  • The Wombles (The Wombles)-- Nominated for being the UK's answer to the Banana Splits and for featuring Chris Spedding on guitar.
  • The Blue Boys (That Girl) -- Nominated for deciding that playing their gig at a supper club in the nude for the shock value -- without telling the booker or owner in advance -- would be a good career move.
  • Adam and the Space Hippies (Star Trek) -- Nominated for general weirdness and for being the reincarnation (or something) of "Tucker McElroy, lead singer and driver of the Winnebago". Extra points for the bicycle wheel bass.
  • Nigel and Patrick (Patty Duke Show) -- Nominated for looking and sounding exactly like the previously nominated Redcoats on the Dick Van Dyke Show.
  • The Warts (The Mothers in Law) Nominated for being the Seeds and for playing the garage rock classic "Pushing Too Hard" on national television. Boop boop diddum daddum waddum choo.
  • The Crackers (Zachariah) -- Nominated for being Country Joe and the Fish playing both a rock band and a band of bank robbers in the "first electric western". The James Gang, the New York Rock and Roll Ensemble, and Elvin Jones are here, too.
posted by Herodios at 12:06 PM on March 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

Ah, I just remembered one of the greats (for a particular definition of great): Boytown, an Australian film about the greatest boy band ever, featuring such sensitive and moving songs as 'Special Time of the Month'.
posted by h00py at 4:37 PM on March 21, 2017

"The Mosquitoes!" Bingo, Bango, Bongo, and Irving. (Gilligan's Island)
posted by booth at 7:30 PM on March 21, 2017 [1 favorite]

I thought of a really convoluted example.

Real life actor/musician Jamie Walters played fake lead singer Alex O'Brien of the fake band The Heights, on Aaron Spelling's TV show, The Heights.. The real Walters sang the theme song, "How Do You Talk To An angel?" which went to #1 IRL. Fake band The Heights also sang the song. Then, Spelling cast Walters as fake musician, Ray Pruit, in the old 90210. Then Walters released an album that went #1.

90% of that was from in my head, people.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:27 PM on March 21, 2017

"The Mosquitoes! " Bingo, Bango, Bongo, and Irving. (Gilligan's Island)

Instanced on the site, along with the Gnats (male castaways) and the Honeybees (female castaways.)
posted by Herodios at 8:26 AM on March 22, 2017

Ooo! What about the Leningrad Cowboys?
posted by kyrademon at 10:03 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

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