“There are no missing objects. Only unsystematic searchers.”
April 3, 2017 11:33 AM Subscribe
How to Find Your Missing Keys and Stop Losing Other Things [The New York Times] “You were sure you left the keys right there on the counter, and now they are nowhere to be found. Where could they be? Misplacing objects is an everyday occurrence, but finding them can be like going on a treasure hunt without a map. Here are some recommendations from experts to help you recover what is lost.”
• Stay calm and search on.
• Be disciplined in your search.
• Focus on cluttered areas.
• Retrace your steps.
• Beware of mind tricks.
• Use prevention strategies.
• Remember, forgetting is normal.
- Live in a very small apartment.
There have been a couple of instances recently when following this advice would leave items unfound
Example from my praxis: I once found my missing iPhone (set on vibrate of course) under the fitted sheet: I had left in on the bed before I changed the sheets. I had already of course looked in the bedroom and around the bed. I suppose you could argue that I hadn't done it "thoroughly" though.
I didn't stop routinely losing my keys, wallet, etc until I was about 30.
posted by thelonius at 11:57 AM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
Example from my praxis: I once found my missing iPhone (set on vibrate of course) under the fitted sheet: I had left in on the bed before I changed the sheets. I had already of course looked in the bedroom and around the bed. I suppose you could argue that I hadn't done it "thoroughly" though.
I didn't stop routinely losing my keys, wallet, etc until I was about 30.
posted by thelonius at 11:57 AM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm pretty good at following the "always put it in the same spot" advice with regards to my wallet and keys, so rarely lose those, but boy am I embarrassed to admit how often I have to utilize the "Find iPhone" feature to locate a missing phone or iPad (usually lost behind a couch cushion or underneath the pile of sheets on an unmade bed).
I have to travel frequently for work, so I live in constant fear (thankfully not yet having come to fruition) of forgetting my car keys once I am at my destination since I don't need them until I come back home. I've taken to putting them on or in my toiletry bag so as to avoid the situation of arriving home from a trip and realizing my car keys are sitting at a hotel in Seattle.
posted by The Gooch at 12:03 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
I have to travel frequently for work, so I live in constant fear (thankfully not yet having come to fruition) of forgetting my car keys once I am at my destination since I don't need them until I come back home. I've taken to putting them on or in my toiletry bag so as to avoid the situation of arriving home from a trip and realizing my car keys are sitting at a hotel in Seattle.
posted by The Gooch at 12:03 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
Live in a very small apartment.
Man, I live in a shoebox and there's a growing list of things I hope will turn up again when we move.
posted by bowtiesarecool at 12:07 PM on April 3, 2017 [20 favorites]
Man, I live in a shoebox and there's a growing list of things I hope will turn up again when we move.
posted by bowtiesarecool at 12:07 PM on April 3, 2017 [20 favorites]
I gave up ages ago on having a system for finding things — my keys always go on a hook by the door and everything else that I have that I might lose track of has a Tile attached to it.
I guess that's a system now that I think about it.
posted by Ampersand692 at 12:07 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
I guess that's a system now that I think about it.
posted by Ampersand692 at 12:07 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
- If you have a cat, it's under the couch
Everything has a home. When something is not on your person, it is in its home. When you see something not in its home, move it to its home immediately. The home for your keys is on a hook, or in a bowl, or whatever, right next to the door. The first thing you do when you get in is put them there. The home for your phone is by the one plug you use to charge it. Etc., etc., etc.
Then your roommate helpfully "tidies up" and puts all your carefully placed items god fucking knows where.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:08 PM on April 3, 2017 [23 favorites]
Then your roommate helpfully "tidies up" and puts all your carefully placed items god fucking knows where.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:08 PM on April 3, 2017 [23 favorites]
My dad has always generally been a pretty mild-mannered guy, not quick to anger, nor excessive when moved to anger. The exception to this rule is when he can't find his keys, or the tv remote, or whatever it happens to be, in which cases he usually pretty much Hulks Out. I've come to believe it's some sort of mental safety pressure-release valve (I also suspect this of my even more mild-mannered wife, who turns into a rage monster behind the wheel of a car).
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:08 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:08 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
If you think the object might be in a cluttered area, clear the clutter away instead of just poking at it. This cuts back on going back over places you've already looked.
It's a little drastic because it takes more time to clear an area completely, but I found it can be worth it if I've done a fast check of the obvious places.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 12:18 PM on April 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
It's a little drastic because it takes more time to clear an area completely, but I found it can be worth it if I've done a fast check of the obvious places.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 12:18 PM on April 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
If you have a cat, it's under the couch
This also seems to be true of our baby; she has a set of stacking rings and she keeps shoving them (and her daddy's phone) under the couch as if trying to banish them to another dimension. I wonder from what evil she is trying to protect us? It clearly has some occult significance.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 12:21 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
This also seems to be true of our baby; she has a set of stacking rings and she keeps shoving them (and her daddy's phone) under the couch as if trying to banish them to another dimension. I wonder from what evil she is trying to protect us? It clearly has some occult significance.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 12:21 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
Do people not know about the Jan Hankl Flank Pat system?
posted by justkevin at 12:21 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by justkevin at 12:21 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
First step is to ask the person where they had their item last. About half them time, whatever they describe as "...but it can't be there!" is where you'll find it. Why trust them? They already lost it once, their judgement is suspect by definition!
posted by wenestvedt at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by wenestvedt at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
My technique can be summed as "If I were me, and I didn't put it where it should go, where would I have put it instead?"
It's surprisingly effective. Plus you can imagine Hannibal-esque glowy windshield wipers going shwoosh, and then after you find the keys or your glasses or whatever, you can hold it up triumphantly and say that this is your design.
posted by Drastic at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2017 [13 favorites]
It's surprisingly effective. Plus you can imagine Hannibal-esque glowy windshield wipers going shwoosh, and then after you find the keys or your glasses or whatever, you can hold it up triumphantly and say that this is your design.
posted by Drastic at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2017 [13 favorites]
My wife calls out to Saint Anthony for help when she loses something, while I am already busy finding it. Then when I present the missing item to her, she thanks him.
I hate that (saintly) guy.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2017 [30 favorites]
I hate that (saintly) guy.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2017 [30 favorites]
I wonder from what evil she is trying to protect us?
Babies discovering that they can actually move objects has to be an experience akin to an adult discovering that they have telekinesis. Add in lack of object permanence and she probably also thinks she's destroying them with JUST THE POWER OF HER MIND muahahaaa.
I'd suggest keeping her away from Carrie, Scanners, The Midwich Cuckoos, etc. when she's older.
posted by Quindar Beep at 12:28 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Babies discovering that they can actually move objects has to be an experience akin to an adult discovering that they have telekinesis. Add in lack of object permanence and she probably also thinks she's destroying them with JUST THE POWER OF HER MIND muahahaaa.
I'd suggest keeping her away from Carrie, Scanners, The Midwich Cuckoos, etc. when she's older.
posted by Quindar Beep at 12:28 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
This New Yorker piece from a few months ago takes the idea of searching for lost items to nearly its conclusion. Wonderful essay if you haven't already taken it in:
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/02/13/when-things-go-missing
posted by eggman at 12:36 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/02/13/when-things-go-missing
posted by eggman at 12:36 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Good to see them reference the classic How to Find Lost Objects.
Which, as an owner of said book I can attest, is remarkably effective. I'd lend it to you, but I appear to have misplaced it.
posted by leotrotsky at 12:38 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Which, as an owner of said book I can attest, is remarkably effective. I'd lend it to you, but I appear to have misplaced it.
posted by leotrotsky at 12:38 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I like to think of things as not lost, instead just insufficiently found.
Oh, and never look where they're supposed to be. If they were where they're supposed to be they wouldn't be lost.
posted by Sebmojo at 12:42 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Oh, and never look where they're supposed to be. If they were where they're supposed to be they wouldn't be lost.
posted by Sebmojo at 12:42 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
If your cat is driving you nuts, she may have lost her toys. They are very likely under the stove.
posted by serena15221 at 12:45 PM on April 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by serena15221 at 12:45 PM on April 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
A tip from a losing-things expert: always use a flashlight to hunt for the thing, even when looking in a well-lit area. The flashlight will help objects catch your attention.
posted by Countess Elena at 12:45 PM on April 3, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 12:45 PM on April 3, 2017 [8 favorites]
I routinely defeat this evil. After years of reflection I remembered that I always find a lost object in the last place I looked! From that moment on I always look in that place first!
posted by Chitownfats at 12:53 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Chitownfats at 12:53 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
My wife calls out to Saint Anthony for help when she loses something, while I am already busy finding it. Then when I present the missing item to her, she thanks him.
I hate that (saintly) guy.
Sounds like you have not yet accepted the obvious fact that Saint Anthony sent you into your wife's life as his personal assistant and emissary of finding lost things. Accept your destiny: one of the mortals honored to do his work on Earth.
At least you are locating keys and phones instead of convulsing with ergot poisoning!
posted by a fiendish thingy at 12:54 PM on April 3, 2017 [13 favorites]
I hate that (saintly) guy.
Sounds like you have not yet accepted the obvious fact that Saint Anthony sent you into your wife's life as his personal assistant and emissary of finding lost things. Accept your destiny: one of the mortals honored to do his work on Earth.
At least you are locating keys and phones instead of convulsing with ergot poisoning!
posted by a fiendish thingy at 12:54 PM on April 3, 2017 [13 favorites]
I've gotten pretty good at the "always leave things in the same place" strategy at home. It's when I travel that I tend to (temporarily) lose things, probably because I don't have a regular routine or a standard spot for them, even though a hotel room is considerably smaller than my home.
Examples include a) a terrifying 15 minutes when I thought I had lost my passport; b) the regular search for my keys on the last day of vacation (having stashed them away in some random luggage pocket on the first day, since I didn't need to be carrying them around with me); and c) making what I thought was a very extensive search of my bags upon arriving at my vacation destination, eventually deciding I had simply forgotten to pack my sunglasses, only to find them safely packed away on the last day of vacation.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:54 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
Examples include a) a terrifying 15 minutes when I thought I had lost my passport; b) the regular search for my keys on the last day of vacation (having stashed them away in some random luggage pocket on the first day, since I didn't need to be carrying them around with me); and c) making what I thought was a very extensive search of my bags upon arriving at my vacation destination, eventually deciding I had simply forgotten to pack my sunglasses, only to find them safely packed away on the last day of vacation.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:54 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
Along with Tile which was mentioned up above. I'd also suggest setting up IFTTT on your phone. I have a recipe that will gradually turn on my phone's ringer if I sent it a text that says "lostphone". This way if it is accidentally on vibrate and its misplaced, I'll be able to raise the volume and then call myself and find the phone that way.
posted by Fizz at 12:59 PM on April 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 12:59 PM on April 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
> If your cat is driving you nuts, she may have lost her toys. They are very likely under the
stove
fridge
couch
(this is where the entrance to the wormholes are)
Or, as happens to me occasionally, tucked inside a house slipper. And once, tucked into a stretchy strap on my backpack, as I discovered once I got to work.
posted by rtha at 1:00 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
stove
fridge
couch
(this is where the entrance to the wormholes are)
Or, as happens to me occasionally, tucked inside a house slipper. And once, tucked into a stretchy strap on my backpack, as I discovered once I got to work.
posted by rtha at 1:00 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
And once, tucked into a stretchy strap on my backpack, as I discovered once I got to work.
On vacation last year I opened my suitcase and found a cat toy inside. I assumed one of my cats (who had been hanging around in there while I was packing, of course) was worried I'd be bored on a long trip without her and packed a toy to keep me happy. Very thoughtful of her.
posted by thefoxgod at 1:04 PM on April 3, 2017 [23 favorites]
On vacation last year I opened my suitcase and found a cat toy inside. I assumed one of my cats (who had been hanging around in there while I was packing, of course) was worried I'd be bored on a long trip without her and packed a toy to keep me happy. Very thoughtful of her.
posted by thefoxgod at 1:04 PM on April 3, 2017 [23 favorites]
Exactly. Clearly my cats were worried I'd need a toy at work, and really, who doesn't?
posted by rtha at 1:06 PM on April 3, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by rtha at 1:06 PM on April 3, 2017 [12 favorites]
Sounds like you have not yet accepted the obvious fact that Saint Anthony sent you into your wife's life as his personal assistant and emissary of finding lost things.
The Lord helps those who help themselves to their spouse's time and energy, eh?
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:06 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
The Lord helps those who help themselves to their spouse's time and energy, eh?
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:06 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
Life ProTip: Since you always find something in the last place you look, save time by going directly there!
posted by madajb at 1:14 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by madajb at 1:14 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
The the, great, David Brenner: "When I'm looking around for something in my house, I say this all the time: 'It's going to be in the last place I look,' " he said. "Of course it's going to be in the last place I look! Who finds something and keeps on looking?"
As a messy person, I try really hard to put the keys in the same place, but when they're not there I usually use the strata method: It can't be in that pile, because I haven't touched it in a week, but it could be under this pile of laundry I just set down, (but not under the laundry from yesterday.) But for Reasons, most of the time the keys are in the silverware drawer.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:17 PM on April 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
As a messy person, I try really hard to put the keys in the same place, but when they're not there I usually use the strata method: It can't be in that pile, because I haven't touched it in a week, but it could be under this pile of laundry I just set down, (but not under the laundry from yesterday.) But for Reasons, most of the time the keys are in the silverware drawer.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:17 PM on April 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
None of these rules apply if you live in a house with a poltergeist.
I speak from experience.
posted by BWA at 1:22 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I speak from experience.
posted by BWA at 1:22 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I used to get really mad when I'd misplace things, and one time I got so worked up, I really thought I might have a stroke. Now, I use the "place for everything" system, so I don't scare the pets and ruin my day. I do still lose things, but less often.
My husband never (ever) (EVER) puts anything away, and when he loses things, I let him look for them. He's grown, he can handle it. The other day, he saw me using my backscratcher and said, "So that's where that is!" I said, "This is where this lives, and it's been stored here for ten years."
posted by corvikate at 1:25 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
My husband never (ever) (EVER) puts anything away, and when he loses things, I let him look for them. He's grown, he can handle it. The other day, he saw me using my backscratcher and said, "So that's where that is!" I said, "This is where this lives, and it's been stored here for ten years."
posted by corvikate at 1:25 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Also, none of these rules apply if you've performed the Great Rite of Banishing.
posted by drlith at 1:36 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by drlith at 1:36 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
My TiVo Roamio has a button on the front that makes its remote control play a tune. I wish all devices with remotes did that.
posted by w0mbat at 1:37 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by w0mbat at 1:37 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
Man, I live in a shoebox and there's a growing list of things I hope will turn up again when we move
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, our Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
-- Monty Python
posted by raider at 1:39 PM on April 3, 2017 [8 favorites]
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, our Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
-- Monty Python
posted by raider at 1:39 PM on April 3, 2017 [8 favorites]
I lost my wife.
Well, I didn't lose her; it's just that when I go home she's not there anymore.
-- some comedian, google failing me for attribution
posted by raider at 1:42 PM on April 3, 2017
Well, I didn't lose her; it's just that when I go home she's not there anymore.
-- some comedian, google failing me for attribution
posted by raider at 1:42 PM on April 3, 2017
Dammit people I am trying to lose weight.
posted by srboisvert at 1:53 PM on April 3, 2017
posted by srboisvert at 1:53 PM on April 3, 2017
I'm losing my marbles.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:57 PM on April 3, 2017
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:57 PM on April 3, 2017
Dammit people I am trying to lose weight.
Where did you see it last? It's probably still there.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:58 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
Where did you see it last? It's probably still there.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:58 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
Dammit people I am trying to lose weight.
Can I tell you how I lost.... never mind. Not cool.
posted by raider at 1:59 PM on April 3, 2017
Can I tell you how I lost.... never mind. Not cool.
posted by raider at 1:59 PM on April 3, 2017
Let me share one of the joys of having an autistic child. They like to hide things, can literally remember the date three years ago when you lost your temper about the same thing you're mad about now, but under no circumstances can communicate where they put the toy they cannot live without at this moment. Also applies to passports, wallets, silver dollars, backpacks, kite strings, laptops, etc...............
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:01 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:01 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I've got my own tactic, which has amazed me many times. It's based on this dear Ernie and Bert sketch. (If you have a moment, go watch it first...)
I walk around singing, Heeeere, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys or whatever it is I'm looking for, and just keep singing until I find it.
I'll add, I don't find being systematic or thoughtful helps, so I wasn't a big fan of the nyt article. Once it's lost, it means my reasoning is wrong, and I just need to bring down the intensity and look around. E.g., many times it's somewhere I believed I'd already looked. (or thought it couldn't be.)
posted by spbmp at 2:05 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
I walk around singing, Heeeere, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys or whatever it is I'm looking for, and just keep singing until I find it.
I'll add, I don't find being systematic or thoughtful helps, so I wasn't a big fan of the nyt article. Once it's lost, it means my reasoning is wrong, and I just need to bring down the intensity and look around. E.g., many times it's somewhere I believed I'd already looked. (or thought it couldn't be.)
posted by spbmp at 2:05 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
I one had a friend who frequently left her keys in the freezer (where she set them down while putting away frozen groceries). I leave it as an exercise for the reader how long it took her to learn to look there first whenever she lost her keys.
Years. Literally goddamn years.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:06 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Years. Literally goddamn years.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:06 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Then your roommate helpfully "tidies up" and puts all your carefully placed items god fucking knows where.
AAAARRRRGGGGHHH! Yesyesyesyes.
posted by Splunge at 2:18 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
AAAARRRRGGGGHHH! Yesyesyesyes.
posted by Splunge at 2:18 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm a terrible housekeeper/borderline hoarder, which makes finding lost items especially problematic, but I do tend to find lots of other lost things in the search. My mobile has been missing for a week, somewhere under the bed, which is too heavy for me to move alone. So far, a lot of squirming on the floor, accidental inhalation of dust-bunnies, and poking with broom-handles has unearthed three scarves (one silk, one velvet, one cotton), eight books, uncountable magazines, three boots (no matches), £2.43 in small change, five slippers (one pair) and four hot-water bottles, but still no bloody phone.
Tomorrow, I have arranged for a strong friend to visit, and we are going to move the bed, clear the whole thing out, and hopefully find the phone.
posted by Fuchsoid at 2:19 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
Tomorrow, I have arranged for a strong friend to visit, and we are going to move the bed, clear the whole thing out, and hopefully find the phone.
posted by Fuchsoid at 2:19 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
My #1 rule for finding stuff is
Check Again More Carefully Where It's Supposed To Be
posted by straight at 2:23 PM on April 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
Check Again More Carefully Where It's Supposed To Be
posted by straight at 2:23 PM on April 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
My tiny, jolly Jewish grandmother, when she lost something at home, used to stand in the middle of the living room and say, very clearly and coldly, "All right. Give. It. Back." I was never sure who she was actually talking to, but it did tend to make the lost item re-emerge fairly quickly.
I do it myself, when all else fails, and it works pretty regularly.
posted by merriment at 2:24 PM on April 3, 2017 [17 favorites]
I do it myself, when all else fails, and it works pretty regularly.
posted by merriment at 2:24 PM on April 3, 2017 [17 favorites]
Contributing to this thread in case I can't find it later.
posted by No Robots at 2:40 PM on April 3, 2017 [17 favorites]
posted by No Robots at 2:40 PM on April 3, 2017 [17 favorites]
More magic: Say "I believe in the law of conservation of matter. Therefore [object] cannot have disappeared."
I've found this works fairly well. I'm not so sure about the conservation of matter, but it's possible that invoking it calms a person by taking their mind to larger, abstract ideas, and not being frantic makes it easier to think of where the object should be.
Or the universe just doesn't like being caught cheating.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 2:59 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I've found this works fairly well. I'm not so sure about the conservation of matter, but it's possible that invoking it calms a person by taking their mind to larger, abstract ideas, and not being frantic makes it easier to think of where the object should be.
Or the universe just doesn't like being caught cheating.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 2:59 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
My wife has a superpower, that almost without fail she can locate anything misplaced in the house by concentrating for fifteen seconds an announcing, "it is in the laundry room, next to the spare light bulbs." On the other hand, it is also a comic book weakness, too: she can be reading in bed, two minutes away from turning off the light and going to sleep and I can ask, "Do you know where the travel alarm clock/roll of stamps/box of extra bungee cords is?" and she will mutter, "Shit," and have to mentally inventory the house before she can go to sleep.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:11 PM on April 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:11 PM on April 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
Right, I'm forty-mumble years old and can pass as a responsible adult when so called upon. I last lost my keys when I was 16-17. I was at the fair and they almost certainly fell out of my pocket on one of the rides.
Well, last lost my keys... until this weekend past.
I went heavily-laden round a friend's house for our annual, all-hands, all-day gathering. Rucksack, satchel, large carry-all. Was lugging a lot of stuff, the day's beer for starters, plus everyone prefers to do overdue birthday presents face-to-face rather than getting anonymous items delivered on the day. A mighty fun time was had by all and I subsequently walked home with other friends around midnight. At my front door, oh! no keys. Luckily, someone was in. Dropped my bags off, removed my shoes, trousers, coat, checked all pockets, checked my bags, gritted my teeth and headed out re-trousered and re-shod.
I walked all the way back to my friend's house at half-speed, scanning the pavement left and right, one step shy of going full-fingertip search. Texted apologetically ahead to ask if I could come in and have a look for them. My mate had a rummage himself, let me have a look round, pointed me towards the bin bags full of the day's detritus. No luck. Dispirited, I headed home again by the same route, scanning the pavement even more closely as I walked.
Got home again, hauled half my clothes off and crashed on the sofa, next to half my dumped gear. Woke up around nine and just laid there for a while. I hadn't just lost my house keys, I'd lost the keys to little easily-broken-into-anyway things around the house, I'd lost the treasured keyring that my sister brought me back from Austria ~15 years ago, I'd even lost the daft LEGO hotdog-guy keyring I bought when I went to my first MeFi meetup last year, but worst of all, I'd lost my work keys. Which is a fair 50-50 chance I'd lost my job too - "YOU HAD ONE JOB, COMEALONGPOLE!"
I'm shit at meditation, breathing exercises, that sort of thing. I'm pretty sure the point is that you're not meant to fall asleep. I always do though and pragmatist that I be, that's how I bring myself down if I can't doze off. Clear my racing mind, deep breaths, focus inward, zzzzz.
I woke again at 11.30 to a message on my phone "Any joy? We've not turned up anything". Shit! Shit, shit, shit! I know I had my keys when I went there, and I know if they were ever between here and there then they aren't any more. Common wisdom (usually my wisdom!) has it that you always check the last place you saw something first. The last place I had my keys was at my friend's house, when rummaging around in my pocket for my phone.
Previous to that of course I had them when I unlocked the "present cupboard" in my spare room, but I know they aren't in there, because I know I left the house with them. It's nearly noon, I absolutely have to ring the boss to tell them that I've lost my work keys, maybe I should have done so sooner, but I so wanted to believe that they'd be found at my friends' house.
I feel sick, I absolutely do not want to call my boss.
I walk slowly up the stairs, towards the last-but-one place where I saw them, telling myself that when I see they aren't there, I'll make myself make the phonecall.
In a somewhat Chestertonian inversion of how-things-work my spare room is actually the tidiest room in my house, since it sees so little use. So when I walk in, the first thing I see is a beautifully-made bed with a clump of my bastard keys on it. I must have been carrying so much that I skimped on my usual house-leaving "keys, wallet, phone, watch" check.
Reader, I cursed them.
posted by comealongpole at 3:23 PM on April 3, 2017 [13 favorites]
Well, last lost my keys... until this weekend past.
I went heavily-laden round a friend's house for our annual, all-hands, all-day gathering. Rucksack, satchel, large carry-all. Was lugging a lot of stuff, the day's beer for starters, plus everyone prefers to do overdue birthday presents face-to-face rather than getting anonymous items delivered on the day. A mighty fun time was had by all and I subsequently walked home with other friends around midnight. At my front door, oh! no keys. Luckily, someone was in. Dropped my bags off, removed my shoes, trousers, coat, checked all pockets, checked my bags, gritted my teeth and headed out re-trousered and re-shod.
I walked all the way back to my friend's house at half-speed, scanning the pavement left and right, one step shy of going full-fingertip search. Texted apologetically ahead to ask if I could come in and have a look for them. My mate had a rummage himself, let me have a look round, pointed me towards the bin bags full of the day's detritus. No luck. Dispirited, I headed home again by the same route, scanning the pavement even more closely as I walked.
Got home again, hauled half my clothes off and crashed on the sofa, next to half my dumped gear. Woke up around nine and just laid there for a while. I hadn't just lost my house keys, I'd lost the keys to little easily-broken-into-anyway things around the house, I'd lost the treasured keyring that my sister brought me back from Austria ~15 years ago, I'd even lost the daft LEGO hotdog-guy keyring I bought when I went to my first MeFi meetup last year, but worst of all, I'd lost my work keys. Which is a fair 50-50 chance I'd lost my job too - "YOU HAD ONE JOB, COMEALONGPOLE!"
I'm shit at meditation, breathing exercises, that sort of thing. I'm pretty sure the point is that you're not meant to fall asleep. I always do though and pragmatist that I be, that's how I bring myself down if I can't doze off. Clear my racing mind, deep breaths, focus inward, zzzzz.
I woke again at 11.30 to a message on my phone "Any joy? We've not turned up anything". Shit! Shit, shit, shit! I know I had my keys when I went there, and I know if they were ever between here and there then they aren't any more. Common wisdom (usually my wisdom!) has it that you always check the last place you saw something first. The last place I had my keys was at my friend's house, when rummaging around in my pocket for my phone.
Previous to that of course I had them when I unlocked the "present cupboard" in my spare room, but I know they aren't in there, because I know I left the house with them. It's nearly noon, I absolutely have to ring the boss to tell them that I've lost my work keys, maybe I should have done so sooner, but I so wanted to believe that they'd be found at my friends' house.
I feel sick, I absolutely do not want to call my boss.
I walk slowly up the stairs, towards the last-but-one place where I saw them, telling myself that when I see they aren't there, I'll make myself make the phonecall.
In a somewhat Chestertonian inversion of how-things-work my spare room is actually the tidiest room in my house, since it sees so little use. So when I walk in, the first thing I see is a beautifully-made bed with a clump of my bastard keys on it. I must have been carrying so much that I skimped on my usual house-leaving "keys, wallet, phone, watch" check.
Reader, I cursed them.
posted by comealongpole at 3:23 PM on April 3, 2017 [13 favorites]
I once spent 15 frazzled minutes turning the house upside-down looking for a crucially-important notebook...only to suddenly realize that as I searched, I'd had the dang thing clamped under my armpit the whole stupid time. Gah.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:37 PM on April 3, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:37 PM on April 3, 2017 [11 favorites]
Oh, god, the number of times I've search frantically for where I put down my glasses, only to realize I had them in my pocket or pushed back on top of my head.
posted by tavella at 3:41 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by tavella at 3:41 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
... If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.”
posted by achrise at 3:48 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by achrise at 3:48 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
So my roommate went out last week and normally she hates taking keys because our front door has a weird lock that catches in an odd way and can jam from time to time. She went out with some of her friends, came back in the middle of the night.
Three days pass. Whatever. My roommate is sick and she's mostly staying in the last few days, I'm giving her space so I do not get sick.
I'm busy working evenings and I mostly enter the house through the garage door. So keys and front door are not usually how I enter. I'm on my day off drinking coffee, tweeting, metafiltering, etc. I hear the doorbell ring.
I go down and open the door and two young girls are selling chocolate bars for their school. Before I can even begin to say that I'm not really interested, the one girl says, "Hey mister, your keys are in the door."
My roommate's keys are in the door. Where they have been for the last 3 days. I'm both surprised, embarrassed, and relieved all at once. Thankfully we live in a neighborhood that isn't known for being unsafe, we have good neighbors, its a well lit street.
I thank the girl for pointing that out to me. I buy 5 chocolate bars out of guilt. And I then go up to my roommate and we have a conversation about forgetfulness.
I still think about the fact that several of us opened the door to check the mail, and no one noticed the keys.
posted by Fizz at 3:50 PM on April 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
Three days pass. Whatever. My roommate is sick and she's mostly staying in the last few days, I'm giving her space so I do not get sick.
I'm busy working evenings and I mostly enter the house through the garage door. So keys and front door are not usually how I enter. I'm on my day off drinking coffee, tweeting, metafiltering, etc. I hear the doorbell ring.
I go down and open the door and two young girls are selling chocolate bars for their school. Before I can even begin to say that I'm not really interested, the one girl says, "Hey mister, your keys are in the door."
My roommate's keys are in the door. Where they have been for the last 3 days. I'm both surprised, embarrassed, and relieved all at once. Thankfully we live in a neighborhood that isn't known for being unsafe, we have good neighbors, its a well lit street.
I thank the girl for pointing that out to me. I buy 5 chocolate bars out of guilt. And I then go up to my roommate and we have a conversation about forgetfulness.
I still think about the fact that several of us opened the door to check the mail, and no one noticed the keys.
posted by Fizz at 3:50 PM on April 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
straight: Check Again More Carefully Where It's Supposed To Be
Oh God, I do this so badly. Like, returning to the place I've searched five times and lifting everything up in a different order as though the universe will somehow right itself and Missing Item X will appear. I know it's bloody there, just because it isn't there doesn't mean it's not!
Fizz: My roommate's keys are in the door. Where they have been for the last 3 days.
Since the dawn of time my Mum seems to have lived in admonitory fear of keys being left in the door. To the best of my knowledge none of my family in four decades have left any keys in any doors. Whether this proves the efficacy of hyper-focussing or the relative unlikelihood of such an event... well, I throw my arms up.
Three days though!
posted by comealongpole at 4:04 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
Oh God, I do this so badly. Like, returning to the place I've searched five times and lifting everything up in a different order as though the universe will somehow right itself and Missing Item X will appear. I know it's bloody there, just because it isn't there doesn't mean it's not!
Fizz: My roommate's keys are in the door. Where they have been for the last 3 days.
Since the dawn of time my Mum seems to have lived in admonitory fear of keys being left in the door. To the best of my knowledge none of my family in four decades have left any keys in any doors. Whether this proves the efficacy of hyper-focussing or the relative unlikelihood of such an event... well, I throw my arms up.
Three days though!
posted by comealongpole at 4:04 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
If it's something that I had in my hand a second ago, put down, and immediately can't find , then loudly asking the boggart to give it back usually works for me.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 4:06 PM on April 3, 2017
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 4:06 PM on April 3, 2017
well, I throw my arms up.
Just make sure you're not still holding the keys, for them to go flying and get lost all over again.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:20 PM on April 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
Just make sure you're not still holding the keys, for them to go flying and get lost all over again.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:20 PM on April 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
Ha amateurs! I was reading metafilter on my mobile at the kitchen table while munching some toast. Suddenly i realized I needed to make a call. Searched the whole damn house only to give up and go back to reading metafilter on my phone.
posted by forforf at 4:33 PM on April 3, 2017 [28 favorites]
posted by forforf at 4:33 PM on April 3, 2017 [28 favorites]
> If your cat is driving you nuts, she may have lost her toys. They are very likely under the.....CAT!
My boy cats are driving me nuts because they lost their nuts? Or maybe they are still in the malevolent young cat stage?
Now. Someone please find my lunch tote. I remember leaving work late one night and stopping by the bathroom before leaving, rushing home to feed kitties .... and now no tote.
Yet, there's the leftovers in the fridge. Otherwise I left it at work and someone helped it out? But the leftovers? After half a week I don't care about the tote but am very afraid of it and some (other) leftover rising up one night in fully sentient state during a full moon.
The cats will be no protection. They are good for lizzards but nothing approaching godzilla-state.
posted by mightshould at 4:36 PM on April 3, 2017
forforf....
My friend was looking for their phone with the flashlight app on their phone....
posted by mightshould at 4:38 PM on April 3, 2017 [12 favorites]
My friend was looking for their phone with the flashlight app on their phone....
posted by mightshould at 4:38 PM on April 3, 2017 [12 favorites]
I have a fairly vivid memory of talking to my mom on my cellphone while making my way home from school in a somewhat tired and distracted state, and upon noticing something seemingly amiss in my pockets, interrupting the conversation with an outburst of "Oh crap! I don't have my phone!"
posted by NMcCoy at 4:42 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by NMcCoy at 4:42 PM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
A couple of months ago, my husband came home and realized he'd lost his wallet.
We searched frantically for at least half an hour, called the last place he'd used it, emptied everything out of his pockets, searched the car and the garage and the path he took into the house. I even let him use my favorite flashlight.
Finally, he found it tossed in a bag he'd been carrying, which I'd assumed he'd already checked, but whatever. We apologized to the dogs for all the commotion and pretty much just collapsed from emotional exhaustion.
Hours later, at probably close to midnight, I was half asleep on the couch when a friend came rushing in yelling ARE YOU OK? HEY! HEY!
We'd not only left the garage door open with the lights on, but the car doors too. It looked like someone had been abducted.
And of course, I haven't seen my flashlight since.
posted by ernielundquist at 4:50 PM on April 3, 2017 [9 favorites]
We searched frantically for at least half an hour, called the last place he'd used it, emptied everything out of his pockets, searched the car and the garage and the path he took into the house. I even let him use my favorite flashlight.
Finally, he found it tossed in a bag he'd been carrying, which I'd assumed he'd already checked, but whatever. We apologized to the dogs for all the commotion and pretty much just collapsed from emotional exhaustion.
Hours later, at probably close to midnight, I was half asleep on the couch when a friend came rushing in yelling ARE YOU OK? HEY! HEY!
We'd not only left the garage door open with the lights on, but the car doors too. It looked like someone had been abducted.
And of course, I haven't seen my flashlight since.
posted by ernielundquist at 4:50 PM on April 3, 2017 [9 favorites]
My wife calls me on the phone at work when she can't find something, and she'll find it within a minute of me picking up, regardless of whether I know where it is or not.
posted by LionIndex at 4:51 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by LionIndex at 4:51 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
My blind husband has a very simple solution that he offers up every time I'm stomping around, swearing under my breath (or loudly), trying to find my keys: "Why don't you put them in the same place every time you come in the door?"
So, I guess, from the article...
Use prevention strategies
Yes, well.
Have I learned my lesson? No dear reader, not in 19 years.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:58 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
So, I guess, from the article...
Use prevention strategies
Yes, well.
Have I learned my lesson? No dear reader, not in 19 years.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:58 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
Buncha years ago, I mislaid a paintbrush while painting. I scrambled around, looked among the other brushes, in the water glass, muttering to myself the whole time, "Where the fuck did I put my fucking paintbrush?" Five minutes, maybe even ten I did this. Stood up from my seat, walked around the room, sat back down.
I pushed up my glasses and bumped the end of the paintbrush I was looking for. I had it in my mouth like a cigarette holder.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:04 PM on April 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
I pushed up my glasses and bumped the end of the paintbrush I was looking for. I had it in my mouth like a cigarette holder.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:04 PM on April 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
My blind husband has a very simple solution that he offers up every time I'm stomping around, swearing under my breath (or loudly), trying to find my keys: "Why don't you put them in the same place every time you come in the door?"
Guy I worked for for fifteen years gradually lost his sight due to retinitis pigmentosa until he was entirely without vision. He made a similar suggestion. It occurs to me that blind people could teach the sighted a lot about how not to misplace things, or how to locate them most efficiently if they are misplaced.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:48 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Guy I worked for for fifteen years gradually lost his sight due to retinitis pigmentosa until he was entirely without vision. He made a similar suggestion. It occurs to me that blind people could teach the sighted a lot about how not to misplace things, or how to locate them most efficiently if they are misplaced.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:48 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I never used to lose things, but then I had a baby. Of course the stir fry vegetables belong under the sink with the cleaning supplies, where else would you put frozen vegetables? Between baby brain while pregnant/sleep deprived with newborn - and now with a walking and curious 14 month old, things tend to migrate on their own. My cell phone has been found inside a stock pot with the lid on. My keys have appeared at the bottom of a bookcase beneath many versions of Little Blue Truck. I found my sneaker in the shower this morning. In short, I give up on ever finding anything when I need it.
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 6:31 PM on April 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 6:31 PM on April 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
I can't tell you how many times I've been distracted while searching for something, e.g., looking for keys, I find a book that out of place, so I return it to the shelf and pause there for a few minutes to tidy up the bookshelf. If I'm lucky, I'll quickly remember that I was looking for the keys and return to that task.
If I'm not so lucky, I'll remember that I was looking for something, but won't be able to recall what I was looking for.
posted by she's not there at 7:17 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
If I'm not so lucky, I'll remember that I was looking for something, but won't be able to recall what I was looking for.
posted by she's not there at 7:17 PM on April 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
In the Pittsburgh area crushed slag driveways used to be common.
It was well-known that anything dropped on crushed slag was gone. Forever.
Growing up I recall at least one family gathering which ended stressfully when a relative whose keys were missing was heard screaming "you think you dropped them NEXT TO THE CAR?"
posted by kinnakeet at 7:38 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
It was well-known that anything dropped on crushed slag was gone. Forever.
Growing up I recall at least one family gathering which ended stressfully when a relative whose keys were missing was heard screaming "you think you dropped them NEXT TO THE CAR?"
posted by kinnakeet at 7:38 PM on April 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I do the Saint Anthony thing. It works, in part, because it reassures me that I'll find the thing, thus accomplishing task #1, stay calm.
posted by Miko at 7:46 PM on April 3, 2017
posted by Miko at 7:46 PM on April 3, 2017
When I was a 16 year old shop boy one of my jobs was to clean the factory every Saturday morning. On average I spent around fifteen minutes every Saturday looking for the little hand broom I'd just put down. I often found it inside machinery, I grew to worry someone would switch on a machine and hand broom shrapnel would shoot out of the thicknesser or whatever. Someone did accidentally thickness their tape measure one day though and it couldn't have made as much mess and damage as that so I didn't worry too much.
posted by deadwax at 8:07 PM on April 3, 2017
posted by deadwax at 8:07 PM on April 3, 2017
Twelve years ago when we moved we lost a paper shredder.
I am still kinda looking for it because HOW DO YOU LOSE SOMETHING AS BIG AS A PAPER SHREDDER? I resign myself to most lost things, but JESUS CHRIST IT'S A WASTEBASKET WITH A MOTOR AND KNIVES ON TOP, WHERE DID IT GO?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:37 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
I am still kinda looking for it because HOW DO YOU LOSE SOMETHING AS BIG AS A PAPER SHREDDER? I resign myself to most lost things, but JESUS CHRIST IT'S A WASTEBASKET WITH A MOTOR AND KNIVES ON TOP, WHERE DID IT GO?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:37 PM on April 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
I once found my missing iPhone (set on vibrate of course) under the fitted sheet: I had left in on the bed before I changed the sheets. I had already of course looked in the bedroom and around the bed. I suppose you could argue that I hadn't done it "thoroughly" though.
I did the same. Although sadly I eventually found mine with the old sheets. In the washing machine. Mid-cycle.
I now confirm the location of my phone before I start the machine.<
posted by jacanj at 5:27 AM on April 4, 2017
I did the same. Although sadly I eventually found mine with the old sheets. In the washing machine. Mid-cycle.
I now confirm the location of my phone before I start the machine.<
posted by jacanj at 5:27 AM on April 4, 2017
Although sadly I eventually found mine with the old sheets. In the washing machine. Mid-cycle.
Did this myself almost a decade ago. Sending your cell phone through the laundry is an almost perfect demonstration of the truth of the adage: "Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from poor judgment."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:24 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
Did this myself almost a decade ago. Sending your cell phone through the laundry is an almost perfect demonstration of the truth of the adage: "Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from poor judgment."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:24 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
Prevention.
I come home, keys go in one place, on the right hook on the back of the door. I get the mailbox key from the next hook over, get my mail, put the mailbox key back on the next hook over, put my mail in the basket on the table. My flannel shirt goes on a wooden hanger on the back of the coat closet door. Lip balm, wallet, and both iPod shuffles (one for music, one for podcasts) and neatly wound EarPods go into the yellow bowl on my late grandmother's bookshelf. Attaché goes on the doorknob to my bedroom closet, laptop goes onto its dock, phone and iPad go onto their charger cords on the shelf behind my bed. Shoes, 512 mesh trail runners from a set of four indentical pairs, get removed, tied together, and slotted into the appropriate slot under the bureau, turned around to make it clear that the next pair in sequence gets worn tomorrow, because of wear-cycling, trousers hang from their suspenders on two hooks in the closet, and lounge pants are taken from the hook on the bathroom door and donned.
I never lose any of these items. It's a ritual often performed to my singing the opening theme from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, and I know full well how it looks.
Never wonder where my keys are, though.
It's not that I am inherently organized. It's that twenty years of screaming panic about WHERE ARE MY MOTHERFUCKING KEEEEEEEEEYS and other related losses destroyed the part of my brain that rebels against ritualistic behaviors.
posted by sonascope at 6:50 AM on April 4, 2017 [3 favorites]
I come home, keys go in one place, on the right hook on the back of the door. I get the mailbox key from the next hook over, get my mail, put the mailbox key back on the next hook over, put my mail in the basket on the table. My flannel shirt goes on a wooden hanger on the back of the coat closet door. Lip balm, wallet, and both iPod shuffles (one for music, one for podcasts) and neatly wound EarPods go into the yellow bowl on my late grandmother's bookshelf. Attaché goes on the doorknob to my bedroom closet, laptop goes onto its dock, phone and iPad go onto their charger cords on the shelf behind my bed. Shoes, 512 mesh trail runners from a set of four indentical pairs, get removed, tied together, and slotted into the appropriate slot under the bureau, turned around to make it clear that the next pair in sequence gets worn tomorrow, because of wear-cycling, trousers hang from their suspenders on two hooks in the closet, and lounge pants are taken from the hook on the bathroom door and donned.
I never lose any of these items. It's a ritual often performed to my singing the opening theme from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, and I know full well how it looks.
Never wonder where my keys are, though.
It's not that I am inherently organized. It's that twenty years of screaming panic about WHERE ARE MY MOTHERFUCKING KEEEEEEEEEYS and other related losses destroyed the part of my brain that rebels against ritualistic behaviors.
posted by sonascope at 6:50 AM on April 4, 2017 [3 favorites]
I am still kinda looking for it because HOW DO YOU LOSE SOMETHING AS BIG AS A PAPER SHREDDER? I resign myself to most lost things, but JESUS CHRIST IT'S A WASTEBASKET WITH A MOTOR AND KNIVES ON TOP, WHERE DID IT GO?
A few years ago my roommates lost a microwave mid-move. We scoured every room of the empty house and couldn't find it. About the only thing that makes sense is that either the movers or a passerby caught sight of a cheap, used microwave and walked off with it. Hopefully they eventually got the turntable doohickey to work again.
posted by Copronymus at 11:57 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
A few years ago my roommates lost a microwave mid-move. We scoured every room of the empty house and couldn't find it. About the only thing that makes sense is that either the movers or a passerby caught sight of a cheap, used microwave and walked off with it. Hopefully they eventually got the turntable doohickey to work again.
posted by Copronymus at 11:57 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
A few years ago my roommates lost a microwave mid-move. We scoured every room of the empty house and couldn't find it. About the only thing that makes sense is that either the movers or a passerby caught sight of a cheap, used microwave and walked off with it.
Seven years ago I moved to a new house about four hours away from the previous one. When the truck was loaded and locked up, there were four DVD towers. When we drove it down and unloaded it, there were three. I have no explanation for this.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:53 PM on April 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
Seven years ago I moved to a new house about four hours away from the previous one. When the truck was loaded and locked up, there were four DVD towers. When we drove it down and unloaded it, there were three. I have no explanation for this.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:53 PM on April 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
One time I spent spending hours looking for my wallet. Not in pocket, not under driver's seat, not in the filthy gutter outside our playdate, et cetera.
Finally located behind the couch where my daughter the klepto-toddler had lovingly dropped it. Also found 3 mismatched socks and (months later) the missing DVD remote.
I should probably always look behind the couch, come to think of it.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 12:35 PM on April 5, 2017
Finally located behind the couch where my daughter the klepto-toddler had lovingly dropped it. Also found 3 mismatched socks and (months later) the missing DVD remote.
I should probably always look behind the couch, come to think of it.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 12:35 PM on April 5, 2017
While I was married, a remote disappeared so completely we paid the manufacturer like twenty-five bucks to mail us a new one.
Found the old one about a year later when we took out the Christmas decorations.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:58 AM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
Found the old one about a year later when we took out the Christmas decorations.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:58 AM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
While I was married, a remote disappeared so completely we paid the manufacturer like twenty-five bucks to mail us a new one.
Found the old one about a year later when we took out the Christmas decorations.
Had a similar situation with the remote for our sound bar. After an exhaustive search we paid the astronomic price (it was like 25% the cost of the sound bar itself) for a replacement remote since there is no way to use the sound bar without it (no on-board controls). A couple years later we purchased new living room furniture. As I was moving the old couch to the front of the house for trash collection the original remote fell out onto the ground.
posted by The Gooch at 11:19 AM on April 7, 2017
Found the old one about a year later when we took out the Christmas decorations.
Had a similar situation with the remote for our sound bar. After an exhaustive search we paid the astronomic price (it was like 25% the cost of the sound bar itself) for a replacement remote since there is no way to use the sound bar without it (no on-board controls). A couple years later we purchased new living room furniture. As I was moving the old couch to the front of the house for trash collection the original remote fell out onto the ground.
posted by The Gooch at 11:19 AM on April 7, 2017
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posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:53 AM on April 3, 2017 [14 favorites]