#allemannenhandinhand
April 6, 2017 10:49 AM   Subscribe

 
This is really sweet. I hope it catches on, and I hope after a week, Dutch men decide, "hey this is pretty nice" and just never stop. Maybe then in three to five decades, it might eventually take root in America, if we don't deem it too socialist.
posted by explosion at 11:05 AM on April 6, 2017 [4 favorites]


This is awesome.

As a white, cis het American guy who's only recently realized just how fucking good I've had it, this warmed my heart.
posted by notsnot at 11:11 AM on April 6, 2017 [2 favorites]


Here's to a world where we can all walk hand in hand without fear.
posted by doctor_negative at 11:13 AM on April 6, 2017 [12 favorites]


There was a march last night from the Dam Square to the Homomonument. It was subdued, but quite a few people.
posted by humboldt32 at 11:14 AM on April 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


The case around the incident itself is taking a strange turn.
posted by IndigoJones at 11:35 AM on April 6, 2017


The case around the incident itself is taking a strange turn

Yes, someone accused of assault claiming that the other person hit first is such a man bites dog story.
posted by PMdixon at 11:41 AM on April 6, 2017 [4 favorites]


I particularly like the #allemannenhandinhand campaign because I was once asked if I was having a Lesbian relationship with my best friend in high school because we walked down the hall at school holding hands.

No, asshole, we just both have German mothers and holding hands is not a sex act. I also routinely held hands while walking in public with my sister and other female relatives. Geez.

Holding hands is a good way to not get separated in a crowd. I have read this is why Japanese men hold hands in public.
posted by Michele in California at 11:49 AM on April 6, 2017 [4 favorites]


No, asshole, we just both have German mothers and holding hands is not a sex act. I also routinely held hands while walking in public with my sister and other female relatives. Geez.


Also, why is it anybody's fucking business who anyone holds hands with.
posted by dazed_one at 12:17 PM on April 6, 2017 [2 favorites]


YES GODS FORBID ANYONE SHOW ANY KIND OF AFFECTION, IT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN, LET'S NUKE EVERYTHING AND WAGE CHEMICAL WARFARE ON WHATEVER REMAINS OR SOMEBODY MIGHT THINK WE'RE WEAK

Everything is dreadful and it's possible I've reached my limit.
posted by Space Kitty at 12:56 PM on April 6, 2017 [10 favorites]


Space Kitty needs a hug. Or, we can all just join in a circle and hold hands together and say Ommmmmm.

Either one works.
posted by Michele in California at 12:58 PM on April 6, 2017 [3 favorites]


Space Kitty, can I hold your hand?
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:01 PM on April 6, 2017 [8 favorites]


Yes, someone accused of assault claiming that the other person hit first is such a man bites dog story.

Usually such claims are on the part of the defendant after state charges are filed. It is unusual at least to see (alleged) gay bashers filing suit against the gays they were (allegedly) bashing.
posted by IndigoJones at 2:34 PM on April 6, 2017


We'll walk hand in hand
We'll walk hand in hand
We'll walk hand in hand some day

Oh, deep in my heart
I do believe
We'll walk hand in hand some day
posted by kyrademon at 3:03 PM on April 6, 2017 [3 favorites]




I remember Stephen Fry once explaining on QI that, until the Oscar Wilde trial of 1895, straight British men - including soldiers - would quite routinely link arms when strolling round the city together. The scandal whipped up by the trial and the disgrace which fell on Wilde as a result sparked a sudden terror of linked arms being seen as a sign of homosexuality, so the habit was instantly abandoned. We've been contenting ourselves with a brusque handshake ever since.
posted by Paul Slade at 3:26 PM on April 6, 2017 [7 favorites]


There was a study a while ago that showed that women's libidos fall in the same range as men's, all other things being equal, and that it is the threat of social punishment in a patriarchial society that makes women repress their sexuality, resulting in the effect that women appear chaster and more abstemious. A while ago, it occurred to me that the male equivalent of this is probably repressing any affection towards fellow males out of deeply institutionalised homophobia, resulting in the effect that, between men/boys, anything beyond a sort of rough, knockabout camaraderie is stigmatised as “gay” or some euphemism. The high incidence of men walling up their feelings and suffering all sorts of mental health problems would probably come from this, and I imagine that a lot of male violence in general does as well.

It's good that the world is waking up to and challenging this.
posted by acb at 5:23 PM on April 6, 2017 [4 favorites]


Awww, this is sweet.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:41 PM on April 6, 2017


As mentioned above, homophobia contributes pretty heavily to the way that people (especially men) interact with others of the same sex. So much so that touch deprivation is thought to be a contributing factor in a lot of mental health issues; single people in some circles can go for extended periods of time without any human contact more intimate than a handshake.

So anyway I'm strongly in favor of casual, nonsexual affection between men.
posted by bracems at 9:49 PM on April 6, 2017 [2 favorites]


I've seen men walk hand in hand in the Middle East, including policemen. It was a surprising and nice thing to see, yet it was sobering to contrast it with the way homosexuality was being repressed in the very same countries, possibly by the very same people.
It may very well be that these men felt free to show affection so openly because homosexuality was unthinkable and unspeakable and could therefore never be in play here.

I have spoken to young gay men in Egypt who did not feel free to show their affection for each other in public at all: to do so, or to speak openly about their homosexuality, would have put them in danger. They said they enjoyed speaking to tourists from Western Europe now and then, for exactly that reason: because it was nice to talk to people who would not condemn them for being who they were. And because it was relatively safe.
They were very friendly guys. That was such a warm and humane conversation that we had, out of nowhere; it makes me sad to think of them.
posted by Too-Ticky at 10:37 PM on April 6, 2017 [3 favorites]


I was a girl gamer in my teens. Most of my gamer friends were male. I was some clueless idiot who had no idea that affection with friends was clearly Verboten and undeniable evidence of fucking, so we were all massage buddies because I was into massage.

I did marry one of those guys and very briefly dated another. I am sure others, you know, sometimes thought of me that way, but, no, seriously, these guys were my friends. In most cases, that was it.

Occasionally, some poor fool would show up, conclude I was the slut being passed around by the entire group and say something incredibly disrespectful to me. Then armed and dangerous types would, oh, put one hand on whatever weapon they were openly carrying and ask if he wanted his legs broken. Some of them never came back again.

I had no idea what a bubble I was living in.

Why is this such a big deal? What is next? Holding a child's hand to get them safely across the street is evidence of pedophilia?

Anyway, the last story like this that I loved was the Turkish men in mini skirts snarkily saying "Hey, look, I am in a mini skirt. Clearly, I must be Asking For It." I am sorry that both that and this were inspired by terrible violence, but I love the response.

Let's all go around murdering hatred with kindness and affection. It's brilliant.
posted by Michele in California at 11:50 AM on April 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


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