Scotland should join
April 7, 2017 7:43 AM   Subscribe

Canada.
posted by clawsoon (62 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
 
That's a great idea. I'd love to be able to drive to Scotland from Michigan.
posted by Etrigan at 7:48 AM on April 7, 2017 [44 favorites]


Please! If just for Kate Beaton and the Owl's Nest Bookshop in Fredericton.

Though maps would be weird. 100 Miles seems a long distance in Scotland.
posted by gnuhavenpier at 7:51 AM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


As the joke in the reddit thread goes, we could call it Olda Scotia.

We just need New Caledonia too, then we'd have the whole set. Yatzee!
posted by bonehead at 7:54 AM on April 7, 2017 [28 favorites]


The upside for the SNP is that they could continue to fight for Scottish Independence, just from Canada. We're totally used to that sort of thing. We'll even fund your party with a per-vote subsidy.
posted by Kabanos at 7:56 AM on April 7, 2017 [20 favorites]


Can they play hockey?
posted by jonmc at 7:59 AM on April 7, 2017 [7 favorites]


The upside for the SNP is that they could continue to fight for Scottish Independence, just from Canada.

I wonder how the dynamics between the SNP and the Québécois nationalists would unfold.
posted by acb at 8:01 AM on April 7, 2017 [4 favorites]


Sure, come on over, everybody! We've got plenty of room.

(This means we have to give craigyferg a show on the CBC, right? Relaxed swearing policy, relaxed nipple policy -- this could really work!)
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:02 AM on April 7, 2017 [6 favorites]


Can they play hockey?

Curling.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:04 AM on April 7, 2017 [14 favorites]


Wait... is that an option? Can I just... Can I just request Canada annex Massachusetts?
posted by Nanukthedog at 8:05 AM on April 7, 2017 [16 favorites]


Weirdness from Trotskyist history. During the 1980s, the notoriously sectarian Spartacist League seriously had the slogan "For a Scottish workers republic as part of the USSR!". They still defend it. Therefore this is not the most out-there proposal about Scotland joining another country.
posted by graymouser at 8:07 AM on April 7, 2017 [12 favorites]


There isn't that much ocean between Boston and St John's.
posted by bonehead at 8:07 AM on April 7, 2017 [10 favorites]


Wait... is that an option? Can I just... Can I just request Canada annex Massachusetts?

Wouldn't that involve them also grabbing Washington, Oregon, California, the East Coast down to New York, and all the other parts not labelled “Jesusland” on the map?
posted by acb at 8:09 AM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


Washington, Oregon and BC kinda wanted to do their own thing, I thought.
posted by bonehead at 8:10 AM on April 7, 2017


Can I just request Canada annex Massachusetts?

You'll have to take a number. First it's the Turks and Caicos, then Scotland, then whoever's next. We're totally up for being a real post-modern state, but it has to be done in an orderly queue. Being a snowbird destination helps.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:11 AM on April 7, 2017 [9 favorites]


Well sure, who shouldn't join Canada?

But honestly, they should get the Turks and Caicos thing settled first. And frankly, they've got a lot on their plate they need to deal with before they can start thinking about expanding into Europe.

dammit Capt. Renault!
posted by Naberius at 8:13 AM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]



Can they play hockey?


No way the NHL is letting an expansion team in the Eastern Conference.
posted by nubs at 8:14 AM on April 7, 2017 [13 favorites]


You'll have to take a number. First it's the Turks and Caicos, then Scotland, then whoever's next. We're totally up for being a real post-modern state, but it has to be done in an orderly queue. Being a snowbird destination helps.

What if, say, Massachusetts just crosses the border undocumented style?
posted by Nanukthedog at 8:14 AM on April 7, 2017 [4 favorites]


Scotland is closer to Newfoundland than Hawaii is to California. We can make this work.
posted by thecjm at 8:22 AM on April 7, 2017 [9 favorites]


I could really go for a dish of haggis and poutine about now.
posted by Segundus at 8:31 AM on April 7, 2017 [8 favorites]


Scotland and Northern Ireland can just join Ireland - that way they can stay in the EU (East Germany is the relevant precedent). This would effectively re-establish the medieval kingdom of Dál Riada. The flag situation is already taken care of.
posted by kersplunk at 8:31 AM on April 7, 2017 [11 favorites]


No way the NHL is letting an expansion team in the Eastern Conference.

Given the NHL's history, would it really be that far-fetched to see a division comprised of Los Angeles, San Jose, Anaheim, Glasgow, and Edinburgh?
posted by Ufez Jones at 8:31 AM on April 7, 2017 [8 favorites]


So convincing it's almost a reality in my mind now. I'm going to be disappointed if it doesn't happen.
posted by mantecol at 8:33 AM on April 7, 2017


Can I just request Canada annex Massachusetts?

Ah, the ol' Kasierreich scenario where the American Union State wins out, so the Dominion of Canada enacts Defence Scheme No. 1 against New England
posted by Apocryphon at 8:34 AM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


I live on the border already (well, technically the border is in the middle of Lake Ontario but still) and I'd be more than thrilled if it were to slip a bit further south.
posted by tommasz at 8:35 AM on April 7, 2017


Wait... is that an option? Can I just... Can I just request Canada annex Massachusetts?


Moving borders around is a discussion for another day (how about never? Does never work for you?)

But New England and the Maritimes both need to upgrade their transportation and economic links to each other, and for the same reasons: to prevent "Jesusland" and Quebec from trying to hold leverage over either.

Please, please, for the love of all that is holy, bring back ferry service from Boston/Portland to Halifax. Or at least train service from Halifax to Yarmouth so the existing ferry is actually useful.
posted by ocschwar at 8:36 AM on April 7, 2017 [6 favorites]


Well sure, who shouldn't join Canada?

Oddly enough, Boards of Canada shouldn't. They'll have an enclave.
posted by Etrigan at 8:37 AM on April 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


This would be great for the music scene in St. John's, Newfoundland, as bands touring "cross-Canada" would finally have a reason to continue past Halifax
posted by oulipian at 8:45 AM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


I could really go for a dish of haggis and poutine about now.

I think we're a bit past that now.
posted by bonehead at 8:48 AM on April 7, 2017 [4 favorites]


This would be great for the music scene in St. John's, Newfoundland, as bands touring "cross-Canada" would finally have a reason to continue past Halifax Montreal.

Right?
posted by tillermo at 8:48 AM on April 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


This would be great for the music scene in St. John's, Newfoundland,

Oh we should have a meet-up.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 8:51 AM on April 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


haggis and poutine

Sorry, meant also to say, just come to Ottawa for Poutinefest (not my picture). It's pretty good.
posted by bonehead at 8:53 AM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


Presumably, we would have to re-run the Greatest Canadian contest given the new eligibility of Sean Connery. The Greatest Scot contest would need to be re-run as well, and Tommy Douglas just might have a fighting chance there, too.
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:01 AM on April 7, 2017 [4 favorites]


Would Canada get to be part of the EU? Because I could be totally okay with getting to go through the EU Citizen lines when traveling to Europe.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:06 AM on April 7, 2017 [6 favorites]


Would Canada get to be part of the EU? Because I could be totally okay with getting to go through the EU Citizen lines when traveling to Europe.

Not immediately; it's already been determined that an independent Scotland would have to go through the process to join the EU and cannot just bail out and "stay in." Longer-term, yes, this would be totally awesome and as an American I would be stoked to road-trip to Europe.
posted by Tomorrowful at 9:23 AM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


Scotland would need to sort out our own deep and divisive salt-and-vinegar vs. salt-and sauce issues before even trying to tackle poutine.
posted by Catseye at 9:32 AM on April 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


You can have some of these ketchup-flavoured chips in the meantime.
posted by Kabanos at 9:44 AM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


Can they play hockey?

Curling.


You're in.
posted by Kabanos at 9:46 AM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


yeah, whatever, another bunch of losers -- nothing more Canadian than that.

We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a SHITE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and ALL the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!
posted by philip-random at 9:55 AM on April 7, 2017 [4 favorites]


So Scotland would become Canada's St Pierre and Miquelon. Seems reasonable.
posted by 1adam12 at 10:08 AM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


Would Canada get to be part of the EU? Because I could be totally okay with getting to go through the EU Citizen lines when traveling to Europe.

It would help with all those Canadian/European border crossings as well.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:20 AM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


I get that this is just for lulz and would never happen, but this does not seem like a bad idea.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 10:38 AM on April 7, 2017


I said that Atlantic Canada should ditch the rest of Canada and join with Scotland, Ireland and Iceland to form the Commonwealth of the North Atlantic.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:43 AM on April 7, 2017 [7 favorites]


We're the lowest of the low.

That's spot's taken. Sorry.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:01 AM on April 7, 2017 [4 favorites]


Haggtine.

Deep-fried Coffee Crisp.

Oh wait. Haggis poutine's already a thing.

Scotland, we're ready.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:08 AM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


Brisbane-Vancouver-Toronto-Edinborough

That's a train I could get on.
posted by esto-again at 11:15 AM on April 7, 2017


Yet another quaint accent for Canada's "Far East" ...
posted by MILNEWSca at 11:37 AM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


It all seems like fun and games until Irn-Bru starts taking over your grocery shelves. Don't say I didn't warn you, Canada.
posted by duffell at 11:43 AM on April 7, 2017 [5 favorites]


Warning to Scotland: Canada has a history of abusing and then ignoring the indigenous populations of its provinces and territories.

On the other hand, Scotland is probably used to this.

On the third hand... This is probably not a coincidence. :/
posted by swr at 12:13 PM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


Area of Scotland: 80,077 km²
Area of Gulf of St. Lawrence: 155,000 km²

We've got the room. If we kinda tilt Scotland, we probably wouldn't even have to crush all the people on Anticosti Island.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:34 PM on April 7, 2017


We'll Spirit of the West predicted this I guess. Time to come 5,000 miles to the gathering of the clans, to Canada, where "there's another oatmeal savage every time you turn around". And I guess I count myself among them. So bring it on!
posted by chapps at 1:44 PM on April 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


Can they play hockey?

Ask the Scottish Gretzky.
posted by GeckoDundee at 2:52 PM on April 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


Brisbane-Vancouver-Toronto-Edinborough

CANZUK is one of the Brexiters' fever dreams.
posted by bonehead at 4:24 PM on April 7, 2017


I'm... okay with this. Canada was founded by a Scot, so it seems right for us to offer them a home if they wanted it.

But I don't particularly want to join the European Union (and I don't associate the EU with progressivism like the author does, it's just a government), so that could be a problem.
posted by Kevin Street at 4:47 PM on April 7, 2017


You had me at cheaper whisky !
posted by coust at 5:50 PM on April 7, 2017


CANZUK is one of the Brexiters' fever dreams.

Haha no. There are a lot of unrepentant anglophiles here in Canada, but even they are pining for a quiet, noble, elegant England that may never have existed. None of us want to be associated with gibbering past-shitting Brexit England.
posted by 256 at 8:33 PM on April 7, 2017 [6 favorites]


CANZUK? The constitutional and political traditions of these four nations have been diverging for longer than most countries in the world have had a constitution. Yes, we all started from similar templates, but sorting out all the constitutional byways to everyone's satisfaction would take decades.

There are so many things that would clash, everything from what gets devolved to which provinces to how political party leaders lose their jobs ("palace coup" or "party membership vote of confidence"?) to the very different upper chambers.

I think you'd have more luck uniting all the flavours of BSD.
posted by clawsoon at 10:21 PM on April 7, 2017


I think you'd have more luck uniting all the flavours of BSD.

CANZUK is a Brexit fundamentalist project, for people who just remembered that "commonwealth" involves a lot of brown people. If they were Unix folks, they'd probably just do their own Linux branch, mostly by tweaking some desktop colors, somewhat similar to that old "Apartheid Linux" distro that made the rounds a few years back, but a bit more proper on the surface (until you open the LEAVE.EU folder).
posted by effbot at 3:47 AM on April 8, 2017 [2 favorites]


We set the world record for the Robbie Burns Day poetry-reading marathon back in 2012 — the stage is well set for Scotland to be part of Canada!

Of course, SFU's team name is the Clan -- and it's the only Canadian team in the NCAA. Apparently the team name doesn't exactly play well in the southern states.
posted by wenat at 10:46 AM on April 8, 2017


CANZUK was already discussed on MeFi, and we were categorically told that people in support of it weren't racist. So I think that's all clear.
posted by ambrosen at 12:11 PM on April 8, 2017


Don't forget, Scotland is also west of Canada.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:43 PM on April 8, 2017


The CANZUK thing is weird because there's already a Commonwealth of Nations, why not just strengthen its powers and responsibilities while remaining mum about the place of the monarchy, to please Aussie republicans and the like. Why create a new bloc, those nations already have defense agreements in place and are spying on the free world through the Five Eyes anyway.
posted by Apocryphon at 2:44 PM on April 8, 2017


CANZUK seems to be a euphemism for “White Commonwealth”, a sort of dog-whistle to xenophobes who, whilst not keen on having Poles and Spaniards in their country, are even less keen on brown people. It's a little like what recruiters call “culture fit”.
posted by acb at 3:36 PM on April 8, 2017 [2 favorites]


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