Can I Hire The Production Designer To Re-do My Condo?
April 10, 2017 6:40 AM   Subscribe

 
Downside: only a little bit of Hela's weird headspike hat thing.
Upsides: it looks amazing.
posted by Artw at 6:43 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


So, for the opening, they went with:

*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
"Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering on how I ended up in this situation."

Huh.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:44 AM on April 10, 2017 [18 favorites]


SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
posted by entropicamericana at 6:46 AM on April 10, 2017 [19 favorites]


So, does this feel like Guardians of the Ragnorak to anyone else?

Spacy stuff, absurdity, guitar riff, even the title. Just general all around weirdness. I mean, Jeff Goldblum FFS.

Not that I'm complaining. Thor's always be the best goofiest Avenger. Just ask Darryl.

"He's a friend from work!"
posted by leotrotsky at 6:48 AM on April 10, 2017 [40 favorites]


Omg I am jazzed.
posted by PussKillian at 6:48 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


20 years ago, who would have thought that super hero movies this fucking weird would be totally mainstream

also

JAF GOLDBLORM
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:50 AM on April 10, 2017 [36 favorites]


PERFECT MUSIC CHOICE IS PERFECT
posted by floweringjudas at 6:50 AM on April 10, 2017 [20 favorites]


Just let the Aussie/Kiwi alliance run all the superhero things.
posted by Artw at 6:55 AM on April 10, 2017 [21 favorites]


Ahhhh this looks bonkers and I can't wait

Also Tessa Thompson as Valkyrie yes please
posted by skycrashesdown at 6:56 AM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


Not that I'm complaining. Thor's always be the best goofiest Avenger. Just ask Darryl.

That's my only complaint with this trailer. Too little Darryl.
posted by bigendian at 6:59 AM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


OMG the friend from work and Thor's reaction. Yes, I am sold.

It does have a Guardians of the Galaxy feel to it, but I am totally okay with that.
posted by dinty_moore at 7:02 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


JAF GOLDBLORM

You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had, you patented it, and packaged it, and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now [bangs on the table] you're selling it, you wanna sell it. Well... your producers were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should
posted by entropicamericana at 7:03 AM on April 10, 2017 [11 favorites]


[1. watching trailer] "Holy shit this not only looks like a good action movie but, like, actually funny. Am I wrong to be excited about this? Am I about to be disappointed?"
[2. looking up director] "HOLY SHIT TAIKA WAITITI YESSSS"
[3. doing Immigrant Song scream] "AAAA-AA AAAAAAAA, AA"
posted by Greg Nog at 7:04 AM on April 10, 2017 [24 favorites]


PERFECT MUSIC CHOICE IS PERFECT

Why did it take so long for them to figure this out? WHO ARE THESE AD PEOPLE.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:07 AM on April 10, 2017


> "OMG the friend from work and Thor's reaction. Yes, I am sold."

Spouse's reaction: "TOTALLY chalking that up to Taika Waititi directing."
posted by kyrademon at 7:09 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


See for me, the music just makes me feel like I am at a Minnesota Vikings game, but hurrah for Jeff Goldblum (and Tom Hiddleston, of course - ahem).
posted by missmerrymack at 7:09 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


That looks way better than I was expecting. The second Thor film was just so dull, but this looks way better. I agree with leotrotsky it looks a big Guardians influenced, bit more of the cosmic scale of the GotG setting, maybe also some Planet Hulk in there, all of which ties into developing the Avengers Infinity War storyline, and a touch of 1980 Flash Gordon styling at the end too perhaps? The way Hela was done looked good.
posted by biffa at 7:10 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Planet Hulk: integrated
Skurge: confirmed.
Bridge at Gjallerbru: likely.

That is literally all I needed, thank you.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 7:10 AM on April 10, 2017 [17 favorites]


JUDGE DREDD STANDS ALONE
posted by Artw at 7:11 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


Thor finally gets to wear the right hat!
posted by h00py at 7:13 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


I love the hell out of the logo. I mean, the logo. There's Mjolnor blowing up and a hulk fight and Hiddleston about to go stabby and it's the logo that sells me. Nice.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:15 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


I was gonna write a few lines of fake kvetching about how terrible it looks just for the sake of staying in character but I just CAN'T 'CAUSE DID YOU SEE WHEN THE LADY WITH THE THING ON HER HEAD AND THEN LOKI?! AND HOLY SHIT

Ahem.

Not bad.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:15 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


Wow. For starting with two very traditional safe 'action' movies... this is a big departure, and one way more in line with... yeah... like... every 15 seconds they upped the ante. I mean, at Mjölnir I was like... we're at 'Thor 10'... and then 15 seconds later we were at 'Thor 11'... and then...15 seconds later wait... I've got to rescale this to an 'Avengers 9' ... and then... well, by the last two lines were totally pushing on 'Guardians 9.5'
posted by Nanukthedog at 7:20 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


The Thor movies have always been my fave of the MCU. The universe so far reaching and bananas, I hope this one finally reaches its potential.
posted by Think_Long at 7:22 AM on April 10, 2017 [8 favorites]


This cast looks phenomenal. I will be there.
posted by blurker at 7:22 AM on April 10, 2017


As far as "not using that song" concerned, I don't think it would have matched the previous two films more, uh, austere(?) trappings. Thor 1 at least was playing things relatively straight and Thor 2 was just kind of playing off of one, but more.

Now, I think, the Marvel Film Universe has played it straight about as much as it can without getting into serious retread territory and has no choice but to go Full Bonkers (by Hollywood standards, anyway), a decision which I can fully support.

The only thing missing was Beta Ray Bill.
posted by Tevin at 7:22 AM on April 10, 2017 [13 favorites]


On one hand, the Thor movies are my least favourite Marvel movie franchise, with Loki as the main highlight.

On the other hand, I am an unapologetic Cate Blanchett fan. Guess I'm going to have to see this.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:23 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


2 had funny bits - they're basically the only bits anyone remembers. "Mewmew!"
posted by Artw at 7:24 AM on April 10, 2017 [10 favorites]


Also it's a testament to how many weird comic books I read that this didn't even ping as weird to me.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:24 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]




So how many big budget movie trailers using Immigrant Song are we up to in the past five or six years? A hogshead?
posted by Dee Grim at 7:24 AM on April 10, 2017


GOLDBLUM!

also

Taika Waititi should direct all the things because he is the best at directing the things.
posted by threecheesetrees at 7:26 AM on April 10, 2017 [5 favorites]


Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, will top seeing Hera in full head gear with that song playing. Except Rocket Raccoon commenting on the headgear, which I hope happens somewhere down the line.

Yeah, the trailer is a bit formulaic with music video like look, but damn if Marvel doesn't know how to work that look. Complaining about it reminds me of someone saying "Whaaaa, we're having bacon again?! We had some several months, why are you serving again?!" In other words, ignore those people.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:28 AM on April 10, 2017 [10 favorites]


The earlier set of photos looked like if Jack Kirby designed the sets for the Fifth Element, so I was already 100% on board. But this is good too.
posted by nonasuch at 7:29 AM on April 10, 2017 [9 favorites]


The only thing missing was Beta Ray Bill.

My birthday last year was a gigantic disappointment. Got a cursory cake and song and then the rest of the weekend was booked to the gills with everyone else's stuff. I got to do nothing that I wanted to do. I didn't even get to sleep in. It sucked.

It was bad enough that I started thinking I bet this is all just a prank, and there'll be a surprise reveal coming soon. That hope buoyed me through most of the weekend, until it got to be too late for a surprise to be possible. The come-down from that made everything 12 times worse.

And I know you didn't intend to do this, but your comment there has pretty much set me on the same path from an unwarranted MAYBE IT'S A SURPRISE hope to an inevitable crushing who-gives-a-fuck-anyway spiral of disappointment. So I'm gonna go listen to S-Town to cheer me up.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:37 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


The only thing missing was Beta Ray Bill.

If not in the movie, I'm calling a post-credit scene right now
posted by mikelieman at 7:38 AM on April 10, 2017 [9 favorites]


This is good both in and of itself, and to get us closer to the time when Taika Waititi can be freed up to work on We're Wolves, the follow-up to What We Do in the Shadows.
posted by rewil at 7:39 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


Blunderbus Cumberbund is apparently in this too. A mix of the Strange mirror-world effects and the Asgardian architecture could be very trippy.
posted by bonehead at 7:41 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


PERFECT MUSIC CHOICE IS PERFECT

MEH.
MEH I SAY UNTO THEE.
NEEDS MORE AMON AMARTH.


Trailer looks fun thogh, And I AM interested to hear what the Grand Spud is gonna do with the score.
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 7:43 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


> And I know you didn't intend to do this

Didn't I?

For real though, I would be extremely surprised if there was not at least a small cameo.

Maybe someone says his name?

Please?
posted by Tevin at 7:44 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


One of the after-credits bits has to be She-Hulk and Beta Ray Bill because it just has to be.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 7:44 AM on April 10, 2017 [8 favorites]


How oh how did it take 3 movies + Avengers Tie-Ins to final get Thor right?

Totally digging Hela kicking ass although I feel like Loki has some explaining to do in regards to his parenting.

Yeah pretty jazzed about this one, Marvel seems like they are kicking things into a higher gear perhaps based upon increasing pressure from the X-Men movies in terms of quality and whatever the hell DC is trying to do with their properties.
posted by vuron at 7:44 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


I love this and can't wait.

On a separate note, I love how Waititi managed to snag some Hollywood Kiwis. I thought that was Karl Urban (yes it is) and I see that the sublime Mr. Sam Neill also has a role. I suppose Russell Crowe is out since he was in a DC property.

Also, I think directors need to realize that while Hemsworth may look like a stereotypical leading man, he has a deft comedic touch (ex. Ghostbusters).
posted by nikitabot at 7:46 AM on April 10, 2017 [13 favorites]


Note that there's barely any Loki in the trailer, yet it still looks awesome. Loki used to be one of the the main reasons to watch a Thor movie and no doubt still is, but now it looks like there's so much more!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:48 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


I had assumed that the timing meant everything would be back to normal in the comics with Hulk (apparently dead), Thor (unable to wield Meowmeow, currently called Odinson, to me Dirtbag Thor) and Strange (almost totally de-powered and subsisting on whatever shitty magical relics he can scrounge up from flea markets) by the time the movie dropped.

Seeing Meowmeow and the haircut in the trailer makes me wonder if any of it will be. Well played.

One of the after-credits bits has to be She-Hulk and Beta Ray Bill because it just has to be.

It kills me to say this, because Iron Fist was the one Marvel Netflix show I did not want them to fuck up but they fucked up: They need to kill off the Iron Fist show and make a She-Hulk show immediately.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:49 AM on April 10, 2017 [11 favorites]


Is there going to be a split between Marvel and DC universes and actors are in one camp or the other? Do you think Matt Damon is holding out to be the new Mr Freeze?
posted by biffa at 7:49 AM on April 10, 2017


I'm really hoping Marvel is figuring out how to take the lessons learned from Deadpool and Logan (ie, make a movie that tonally & thematically suits THAT CHARACTER instead of 'generic superhero with change of costume') and apply them to movies that aren't super violent or dark. They got their Netflix showslike 75% right on that front, too, but again with the dark and violent. Hopefully this will give them a chance to aim for a lighter tone and still get the character stuff right.

When they make a Squirrel Girl movie that's faithful to the tone of the comics, I'll know they've got it.
posted by nonasuch at 7:52 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


It will definitely be challenging to do the Bridge at Gjallerbru scene justice especially since Enchantress seems to be missing and Amora's rejection of Skurge is part of the reason why he chooses to be heroic but still it promises to be a cool visual.

Will they try to setup Beta Ray Bill and Skuttlebutt as a way to get ready for a Surtur based 4th movie?
posted by vuron at 7:53 AM on April 10, 2017


They need to kill off the Iron Fist show and make a She-Hulk show immediately.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY ONLINE ORDER.

I'm really confused why no one has made She-Hulk show, it seems like an absolute gold mine: Smart lady lawyer who is also a bonafide kick ass superhero, it's got ratings sweep written all over it.

Though the biggest probably would be making the lead actress green, week after week. The grey/purple plant woman on Farscape was eventually written out because the body paint was making the actress sick, can't imagine it would be much better with She-Hulk.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:53 AM on April 10, 2017 [8 favorites]


They need to kill off the Iron Fist show and make a She-Hulk show immediately.

♫ Single female lawyer
Fighting for her clients
Wearing sexy miniskirts
And turning green and giant ♪
posted by nonasuch at 7:53 AM on April 10, 2017 [48 favorites]


Finally! We will all get our chance to love Cate Blanchett and despair!
posted by 1970s Antihero at 7:55 AM on April 10, 2017 [33 favorites]


Hey this looks like fun! I love the colorful set dressing and goofy alien costumes. Very Guardians of the Galaxy, as folks have said, and that's a good thing.

I just finished reading Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology and it was quite good. Perhaps it'd make good reading in preparation for the film. Gaiman does a great job of reworking some very difficult-to-read source material into fun modern short stories. A lot of the details of Ragnarok are batshit crazy and fun to read.
posted by Nelson at 7:56 AM on April 10, 2017


Yes of course a She-Hulk show where she spends a lot of time arguing in court vs Trinity from the netflix defenders shows in between having wacky hijinx would definitely be awesome. It would be a challenging role to handle both the comedy and the physicality of it but personally I find Shulkie to be a vastly more interesting character than he cousin.

Plus you could begin setting up Avengers movies for when the original cast inevitably have to drop out of the MCU and you can actually kill off the main cast permanently unlike in the comics.
posted by vuron at 7:58 AM on April 10, 2017 [5 favorites]


Buy me a motherfucking ticket for the She-Hulk train! Bonus if it's based on Charles Soule's run and includes Angie Huang and Hei Hei.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:01 AM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


I'm really confused why no one has made She-Hulk show, it seems like an absolute gold mine: Smart lady lawyer who is also a bonafide kick ass superhero, it's got ratings sweep written all over it.

You could seriously just even skip the origin story and go straight into more or less what Charles Soule did in the comics. Make it a scrappy start-up law firm story with hilariously shitty clients, Doombots, and a receptionist with a psychic monkey familiar.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:02 AM on April 10, 2017 [15 favorites]


jinx
posted by middleclasstool at 8:03 AM on April 10, 2017


Matt Damon absolutely seems like a D.C. Movie kind of guy.

Momoa needs to defect.
posted by Artw at 8:03 AM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


Meanwhile my favourite Marvel heroes are stuck in Fox development hell. There are more good storylines and better villains tied up in the Fantastic Four franchise than just about any other line, and it kills me.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 8:06 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


They need to kill off the Iron Fist show and make a She-Hulk show immediately.

Anything that could mean more Jenny Hogarth, I'm all for it.

Well, maybe not: Iron Fist was such a disaster.
posted by bonehead at 8:06 AM on April 10, 2017


You could seriously just even skip the origin story and go straight into more or less what Charles Soule did in the comics. Make it a scrappy start-up law firm story with hilariously shitty clients, Doombots, and a receptionist with a psychic monkey familiar.

Ally McBeal with superhero antics, helllo!

What happens when a Doombot decides it doesn't wanna be a Doombot anymore? Or one of Stark's Ironbots decides he wants to retire, take the pay he should have been getting and retire to paint sunsets. Or he decides to become she and retire? Sooooo much fun could be had pleasing the nerdbase and the general public.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:06 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


I was bummed when Momoa was cast as Aquaman because I thought he would have made a great Namor, though now that I think about it that character is probably owned by Fox with the FF movie rights.

I am all aboard this She-Hulk train, she's been one of my favorite characters since I was about eight. A law office comedy with her has been one of my dreams ever since the MCU got going.
posted by skycrashesdown at 8:07 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


nonasuch: "The earlier set of photos looked like if Jack Kirby designed the sets for the Fifth Element, so I was already 100% on board. But this is good too."

I was gonna say: "needs more Kirby". Not because it doesn't have any, but because it needs MORE.
posted by signal at 8:07 AM on April 10, 2017 [8 favorites]


Bob sues Deadpool for personal injury.
posted by bonehead at 8:07 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


I never care about MCU movies, really, don't read the comic books, am "meh" on the Avengers concept. And then I was taken to the (2nd I think?) Thor movie and all I could think the whole time is HOW IS HE SO PRETTY and other, less-coherent lustful thoughts. Loki was pretty great, and the rest of 100%-bananas plot helped, because you didn't have to care about it making any goddamn sense, and also SO PRETTY.

BUT, apparently it's only Hemsworth as Thor, because in Ghostbusters he was less interesting. So maybe it's some kind of thing for Pretty Vikings I didn't even know I had.

So thanks for that, I guess, MCU, and I'll go see this with a buzz on for maximum enjoyment. Looking forward to loving shots of glistening pecs.
posted by emjaybee at 8:11 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


Honestly except Diana (and possibly Barbarian Aquaman if they avoid going full grimdark) the DCU just seems complete unfun in comparison. I feel like most of the DC movies are just going for the in the dark future there is only war aesthetic and in comparison the Marvel movies are experimenting with various aspects of the storytelling medium. Some of them are grim and gritty but others focus on the silliness inherent in grown men wearing spandex.

Guardians seems like it was the testbed for seeing if audiences could handle something other than a standard action adventure movie and it works well unlike something like Thor 2 which besides being awful was dark and boring. Injecting Guardians style hijinx seems to have imbued a sense of fun to a movie that could otherwise be relentlessly grim if it focused on Hela for all the acts.

Romance seems to be the major plot element that they have struggled with incorporating into their scripts thus far to the point that most of the original "love interest" characters have disappeared from the movies. It's of course interesting that Jaime Alexander as Sif is still around while Portman as Jane Foster has been eliminated off screen. Unfortunately that likely rules out a possible Jane Foster Thor movie down the road but a Valkyrie Thor movie would be pretty awesome instead.
posted by vuron at 8:14 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Unfortunately that likely rules out a possible Jane Foster Thor movie down the road but a Valkyrie Thor movie would be pretty awesome instead.

I was hoping to have Jane Foster in the room with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, arguing about science. Since Jane would be there, Darcy would be there too.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:18 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


BTW if you want more excuses to squee over the Kirby design elements look at the mural behind Collector and Loki during the gladiator scene. It's basically 100% Kirby Eternals/New Gods aesthetics. I'm afraid Marvel is still trying to make Inhumans/Eternals happen and it seems as long as Black Bolt/ Medusa and company are tied up in the development hell of Fox's rights to FF the idea of a family comedy featuring the stoic Black Bolt, the elegant Medusa, the psychotic Maximus, etc is going to be an unrealized fantasy.
posted by vuron at 8:21 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


I'd be all for a She-Hulk tv series, but I'd be a little worried tying it to the current Netflix Defenders run - they're all pretty dark, and Shulkie should be fun more than anything else.
posted by dinty_moore at 8:22 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


The new Al Ewing Inhumans comic is good! I know, right?
posted by Artw at 8:23 AM on April 10, 2017


(I mean, Inhumans are first and foremost a crazy-ass Kirby thing and being dull X-men replacements is only a recent development, so it shouldn't surprise that much, but still.)
posted by Artw at 8:25 AM on April 10, 2017


I'm afraid Marvel is still trying to make Inhumans/Eternals happen...

Oh, it's happening, in a tv series later this year.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:25 AM on April 10, 2017


I'm afraid Marvel is still trying to make Inhumans/Eternals happen

you could say that


anyway, back to thor: the best thing about the first flick was the fish-out-of-water comedy and hemsworth's pratfalls, so i'm okay with the tone of this one
posted by entropicamericana at 8:25 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


They had me when they said Taika was directing.

Then they said Ruffalo was in it, and I got hyped.

Then they said Goldblum and Blanchett were in it too, and the hype train gained speed.

Then they said Mothersbaugh was doing the music, and it became the Eurostar of hype. So fast! Straight to my Disney-owned delight!

Then they said Cumberbatch was in it, and it wavered just a bit - not a full-on detail, but a bit of a wobble, maybe moving back to a intercity kind of a hype train, the kind you just hop on to go into "town".

Then they released the first pictures, and we were back on the high-speed hype train.

Now it's the trailer, and it's a full-on shinkansen of hype. You can't see me for the sheer speed of hype I'm flying.

VALHALLA I AM COMING
posted by Katemonkey at 8:27 AM on April 10, 2017 [48 favorites]


PERFECT MUSIC CHOICE IS PERFECT

If "Immigrant Song" ever belonged anywhere, it belongs in this trailer. I'll bet Page is pumped.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:29 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


The showrunner for the Inhumans series is the guy who was in charge of Iron Fist.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 8:29 AM on April 10, 2017


I'm straight up lobbying for Taika Watiti to somehow come to my house for dinner. HE IS SUCH A DELIGHT
posted by Kitteh at 8:29 AM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


ABC MCU is the worst version of the MCU (with the exception of Agent Carter of course) so I'm definitely expecting small screen Inhumans to be wretched.

Maybe if nobody watches it they'll cancel it and give us a version that we deserve.
posted by vuron at 8:30 AM on April 10, 2017


The showrunner for the Inhumans series is the guy who was in charge of Iron Fist.

Eesh. Well, I'll just be over here hoping for a Ms. Marvel show that updates the tone and themes of Buffy S1-3 without allowing Joss Whedon to be involved in any way whatsoever.
posted by nonasuch at 8:31 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


I'm really confused why no one has made She-Hulk show, it seems like an absolute gold mine: Smart lady lawyer who is also a bonafide kick ass superhero, it's got ratings sweep written all over it.

The ostensible explanation is that the CGI fir a TV She Hulk would break the bank. The explanation is that with one exception, Marvel is pretty crappy at dealing with women characters. They just don't do projects with a women lead.

Hopefully the Captain Marvel movie will break the pattern, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
posted by happyroach at 8:31 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


Looks amazing. Does anyone else think Goldblum has become the new Christopher Walken?
posted by photoslob at 8:32 AM on April 10, 2017


On the other hand, even the possibility of a TV series with Squirrel Girl in it has me super hyped. I've been preparing for this moment for years.
posted by dinty_moore at 8:33 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


The ostensible explanation is that the CGI fir a TV She Hulk would break the bank. The explanation is that with one exception, Marvel is pretty crappy at dealing with women characters. They just don't do projects with a women lead.

Jessica Jones was very, very well done. And while I would have rather had more Agent Carter, it was still the best part of ABC's attempts at Marvel. I stopped watching Agents of Shield, but there were a couple of interesting female characters there, too.

They have a big screen woman problem, but the TV marvel branch isn't doing that badly.
posted by dinty_moore at 8:36 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


Agents of Shield has been uneven overall, but it's portrayal of female characters has been pretty kickass, no question. Story and writing wise, this past season of A0S has been its best yet, with season 3 being a runner-up.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:38 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


MetaFilter: some kind of thing for Pretty Vikings I didn't even know I had.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:38 AM on April 10, 2017 [5 favorites]


SKUUUURRRGGE!
posted by ocular shenanigans at 8:38 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


A full CGI 7' tall Shulkie of course would be too expensive for a TV show and considering that she is almost never in human form would also be a bad choice considering that CGI is still nowhere near as good at emoting as an actually actor.

You could get someone who more closely resembles the character and go with practical effects and only use CGI for when she goes from regular She-Hulk to ultrabuff She-Hulk. The manchildren of course would go into a full "NOT MUH SHE-HULK" meltdown but so fucking what.

I mean they are already going into hysterics about an African American Valkyrie.
posted by vuron at 8:42 AM on April 10, 2017


Note that there's barely any Loki in the trailer, yet it still looks awesome. Loki used to be one of the the main reasons to watch a Thor movie and no doubt still is, but now it looks like there's so much more!

My friends and I call the first two firms Adventures of Loki and his brother Thor - Parts I and II, because Hiddleston steals every scene he's in.
posted by longdaysjourney at 8:42 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


The showrunner for the Inhumans series is the guy who was in charge of Iron Fist.

And the most inhuman-looking Inhuman characters are where they put the POC actors. Goddamnit Marvel, come on.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:43 AM on April 10, 2017 [5 favorites]


You could get someone who more closely resembles the character and go with practical effects and only use CGI for when she goes from regular She-Hulk to ultrabuff She-Hulk. The manchildren of course would go into a full "NOT MUH SHE-HULK" meltdown but so fucking what.

Maybe they could just paint Frankie Adams green and shoot her from a low angle?
posted by Artw at 8:44 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


This looks good; I am more stoked for it than the prior two Thor movies. And it has Goldblum! And Jaimie Alexander is back as Sif, which might only matter to me.
posted by nubs at 8:48 AM on April 10, 2017


guys

guys what if they figure out how to do Kirby crackles in live action
posted by nonasuch at 8:48 AM on April 10, 2017 [20 favorites]


I just want a ridiculous TV show with a giant teleporting dog where someone is forced to say the name "Blackagar Boltagon" with a straight face, Marvel, and you give us problematic casting and a showrunner who doesn't understand the concept of "fun". Gahhhh
posted by jason_steakums at 8:48 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


You could definitely find an actor to play She Hulk that was already tall and then shoot scenes to make her appear 7 foot tall. Plus having her walk into doorframes, sit in small chairs, etc.
posted by emjaybee at 8:48 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


You could kind of just CGI Rashida Jones green in episodes of Angie Tribeca and that will be like tonally 80% of the way to a perfect She-Hulk show tbh
posted by jason_steakums at 8:51 AM on April 10, 2017 [14 favorites]


There's end-of-the-world destruction. There's badass women every bit the equal of the male heroes. There's a clash between two heavyweights who would normally be on the same side. There's bit piece cameos of other major characters and well known villains in secondary roles. There's a different feel to it than the previous outing of this character. There's everything in this trailer that could have been in BvS. And with all that, there's still a place for some levity and colour.

I mean, is wanting it all really that much to ask, DC?
posted by GhostintheMachine at 8:54 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


Love the Eighties vibe of the logo. Hell, the Eighties vibe of the whole thing.
posted by WCityMike at 8:55 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


Of course She-Hulk needs another character to play off of so you could obviously sneak in some other characters that are unlikely to get big screen treatment.

Maybe She-Hulk and Squirrel Girl or She-Hulk and Spider-Gwen, lots of options to include various other Marvel properties. And of course you'd need at least one cameo by Hercules and Amadeus Cho circa Incredible Hercules.

Of course She-Hulk's primary rogue's gallery is somewhat awful : Xemnu the Titan, Dr. Bong, Ruby Tuesday and you'd likely have to raid someone else to be your BBEG for the season but it would be such a fun show.
posted by vuron at 9:05 AM on April 10, 2017


Cate's got a new hat!
posted by The Whelk at 9:08 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


It is the best hat.
posted by Artw at 9:09 AM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


A She-Hulk show wouldn't need any supervillains. Or not ones she needs to punch, anyway. She can represent a reformed Doc Ock in a patent dispute, fight for the Daily Bugle when it gets slapped with libel charges, accidentally uncover a Skrull conspiracy while doing pro bono legal aid. Amadeus Cho can intern for her. It'll be great.
posted by nonasuch at 9:15 AM on April 10, 2017 [16 favorites]


If we're talking she-hulk then may I remind everyone I wrote a she hulk storybfir werid tales a thousand years ago and the idea of a Jennifer Walters tv show sells itself

Sell it as a comic legal drama where all the cases are based in superhero meeting the law (ahem) and it gets super meta to respect the source material. Alicia Florrick but green.
posted by The Whelk at 9:16 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


Plus you could swap in HELLCAT! from doing investigative duties with Jones and bring in all her gay friends. Win/win
posted by The Whelk at 9:18 AM on April 10, 2017 [8 favorites]


Plus you could swap in HELLCAT! from doing investigative duties with Jones and bring in all her gay friends. Win/win

HEY CALM DOWN. This is Marvel and we don't mix properties except in the most minimal of ways.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:19 AM on April 10, 2017


I'm really confused why no one has made She-Hulk show, it seems like an absolute gold mine: Smart lady lawyer who is also a bonafide kick ass superhero, it's got ratings sweep written all over it.

I think Supergirl is in that space right now. Not that there isn't room for a well-done She-Hulk show...
posted by mikelieman at 9:21 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


All I want to do now is quit work and go re-read the Dan Slott run on She-Hulk now.

Instead, can we just talk a minute about how awesome Hulk looks in armor? Plus now I want to see Cumberbatch and Ruffalo react off each other.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:22 AM on April 10, 2017


Of course She-Hulk's primary rogue's gallery is somewhat awful : Xemnu the Titan, Dr. Bong, Ruby Tuesda

Ruby Tuesday's once served us raw chicken. So, I'm good with them being villians

Dr. Bong needs no introduction.
posted by mikelieman at 9:23 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Yeah, the best idea for a She-Hulk show would be to go the Slott/Soule route and make it about a lawyer to the superhero/villain community. It would also be refreshing to have an outright funny Marvel show to balance all the dour seriousness of the other shows.
posted by Sangermaine at 9:23 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


I could definitely live with Jessica Jones and Patsy Walker being on a She-Hulk series although wouldn't that make Trinity mad?

Or would you just have She-Hulk join Trinity's law firm?

Inevitable case vs Murdoch and Nelson.

Yeah pretty much writes 90% of it by itself.
posted by vuron at 9:23 AM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]


You had me at a gothed-out Cate Blanchett.

Kinda all downhill from there tbh. hamburger
posted by the painkiller at 9:30 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


the sublime Mr. Sam Neill

Sam Neill, always game for anything and owns a surprisingly great winery.
posted by The Whelk at 9:30 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Aisha Tyler should play She Hulk in TV series.
posted by Faintdreams at 9:32 AM on April 10, 2017 [21 favorites]


Of course She-Hulk's primary rogue's gallery is somewhat awful

I think you misspelled "awesome." Ruby Tuesday and Dr. Bong are PERFECT comedy super villains. And let's not forget whose arch-nemisis Dr. Bong originally was.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 9:32 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


It does have a Guardians of the Galaxy feel to it, but I am totally okay with that.

This actually makes a lot of sense to me. GoG is swashbuckling space-pirates. Vikings are not all that far off from swashbuckling pirates. Turn down the sci-fi angle a little and turn the fantasy knob up a little and here we are. I'm excited.


BUT, apparently it's only Hemsworth as Thor, because in Ghostbusters he was less interesting. So maybe it's some kind of thing for Pretty Vikings I didn't even know I had.


He looked a lot slimmer in Ghostbusters, I bet that he tries to bulk up a little bit for Thor. He probably lifts a little before filming, that's how body builders get their muscles just a bit bigger before they go out on stage.

I've also heard that when they shoot Captain America movies they have to shoot all the scenes where Chris Evans has his shirt of first because he can't maintain that shape for the whole shoot. I don't know if it's because he doesn't have the time to work out and visibly loses muscle mass or if it's because he has to starve himself to look that lean and doesn't have the energy but it's probably both.

Hemsworth's muscles are bigger in Thor movies, that's why you like them more.
posted by VTX at 9:33 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


Aisha Tyler should play She Hulk in TV series.

YES.
posted by nonasuch at 9:34 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


::watches trailer:

I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL NOVEMBER TO SEE THIS?

OMFG ASJDFHKL!!

I NEED THIS FILM IN MY EYEBALLS RIGHT NOW
posted by Faintdreams at 9:34 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


Thor finally gets to wear the right hat!

His very first appearance (as an adult) was in the right hat.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:41 AM on April 10, 2017


A She-Hulk show would also be the perfect forum for all those goofy sub-D-list characters Marvel has that would never fit in any of the movies or other shows. Paste Pot Pete needs his moment in the sun.
posted by Sangermaine at 9:42 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


He probably lifts a little before filming, that's how body builders get their muscles just a bit bigger before they go out on stage.

Um what these dudes have to do to bulk up to lay superheroes is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

There's a reason they al,ostmall go back down to model slimness after.

(Someone once described the process for getting ready for a men's health cover and it was jaw dropping, how do any of them have functioning kidneys)
posted by The Whelk at 9:42 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


The Whelk: "Um what these dudes have to do to bulk up to lay superheroes is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."

Tell us please now what is the secret?
posted by chavenet at 9:45 AM on April 10, 2017 [17 favorites]


* reads a bunch of comments *

Oh come on, how good could it be--

* watches trailer *

WHY ISN'T THIS OUT NOW
posted by curious nu at 9:48 AM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


Here's a bit of Chris Hemsworth training.

I imagine he probably eats a metric ton of cod during the process as well.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:49 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Can you imagine if there wasn't the interminable year-long sneak preview, teaser trailer, trailer one, trailer two, press junkets malarkey and this was out next week.

Being shunned by every media company on the planet afterwards would sting a bit but I still think it would be worth it.
posted by fullerine at 9:54 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


chavenet - a ridiculous unsustainable short term diet, fasting completely before photoshoots, and things like deliberately dehydrating before a model shoot to make your skin tighter, and so your muscles look bigger, and also y'know those veins you always see on Men's Health type models? That's not actually a good thing.

Also Boring, (again) unsustainable amounts of cardio and other 'sculpting' exercises.

Examples of regimes:
  • https://traineatgain.com/how-to-prepare-for-a-fitness-photoshoot/
  • https://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/10-days-to-extreme-definition-the-pro-fitness-models-guide.html
But it's crucial to remember that all that work goes into looking like that for 24 - 48 hours MAX

Chris Evan's punishing regime to keep looking like Captain America is one of the main reasons he says he wants to quit - this is what part of that regime looks like : http://www.fitmole.org/chris-evans-workout/

And I've only covered the borderline healthy stuff that people do. There are all sorts of quick fix - long term health damaging - tricks that a person can do to sculpt their body for the camera.

Eventually that kind of sustained abuse will catch up with you.

Tom Hardy has also talked often about his fitness regime and also admits that if he knew now what he knew when he altered his body for some of his roles, he probably wouldn't have done to himself half of what he did. He was supplied with lifts in his shoes to play Bane to make himself taller, but the body bulk was all him.
posted by Faintdreams at 10:01 AM on April 10, 2017 [5 favorites]


YES TO ALL OF THIS I AM SO THERE
posted by Space Kitty at 10:11 AM on April 10, 2017


Meanwhile my favourite Marvel heroes are stuck in Fox development hell. There are more good storylines and better villains tied up in the Fantastic Four franchise than just about any other line, and it kills me.

Keep an eye on John Hamm's filming schedule. If he disappears for a few days on a Secret Project, watch for the Fantastic Four showing up in Avenegers: Infinity War as a soft reboot, especially if Spider-Man: Homecoming works out. The FF as kooky family of explorers that went missing in the 60s and have been floating about the depths of the multiverse, coming soon.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:12 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


I imagine he probably eats a metric ton of cod during the process as well.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit


His farts must be outrageous
posted by The Gaffer at 10:14 AM on April 10, 2017


And I've only covered the borderline healthy stuff that people do.

There's no international commission to dope test actors.
posted by bonehead at 10:14 AM on April 10, 2017


> "Tell us please now what is the secret?"

I've used the following techniques:

1. Convincing my dad to become their arch-nemesis.
2. Generally doing illegal stuff, but then sometimes randomly helping people who deserve it. (THIS BLOWS THEIR MINDS, EVERY TIME, NO IDEA WHY.)
3. Looking *exactly* like a dead ex of theirs.
4. Hanging around inside refrigerators a lot (FOR ADVANCED SUPER-HERO SEDUCERS ONLY, THIS ONE IS VERY DANGEROUS)
posted by kyrademon at 10:17 AM on April 10, 2017 [22 favorites]


I imagine he probably eats a metric ton of cod during the process as well.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit

And upwards of sixteen schnitzengruben!
posted by paper chromatographologist at 10:17 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


He stood alone at Gjallerbru. And that answer is enough.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:20 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


There's no international commission to dope test actors.

Yeah I mean this goes without saying but pretty much everyone is on serious drugs
posted by The Whelk at 10:22 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


It would also be refreshing to have an outright funny Marvel show to balance all the dour seriousness of the other shows.

I'm still only about halfway through Iron Fist, but one thing that really sets it apart from the rest of Marvel's stuff--across the board--is that it just isn't funny at all. Jessica Jones deals with super heavy subject matter but it still has its funny side. Hell, even Frank Castle pulls in a few laughs. Iron Fist has nothing, and given its farcical premise that's unbelievable.

Also, I cannot express my need for a She-Hulk lawyer comedy series on Netflix strongly or loudly enough.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:24 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


I think it should go with more saying, if you know what I'm saying.

Body "sculpting" can have really, really ugly and terrible outcomes.
posted by bonehead at 10:24 AM on April 10, 2017


DD: Blind lawyer fights horrific gang boss because of sense of outraged justice (and faces the consequences of his ethical choices).

JJ: An alcoholic in the aftermath of horrific abuse deals with reclaiming her sanity (and has to live with the consequences of her lashing out)

LC: Black fugitive deals with reclaiming his moral certainty and sense of humanity (and has to deal with the consequences of his past crimes)

IF: Lost Boy reclaims his privilege and fortune, replacing existing patriarchs with himself (while using this new privilege to enable his orientalist fetishes).

One of these things is not like the others.
posted by bonehead at 10:34 AM on April 10, 2017 [24 favorites]


Fun fact: you could tell at what point in any season of the original Star Trek that a given episode was shot by what shape William Shatner was in; he'd spend the summer beforehand working out, but gained the weight back over the course of shooting. See also Kirk's green shirt, which helped to distinguish him visually from other gold-shirt wearers, but also sort of acted as a corset.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:34 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


Paste Pot Pete needs his moment in the sun.

Ahem, I believe you mean The Trapster. Even Stan Lee realized that Paste-Pot Pete was a terrible name after like a year and a half of appearances. Seriously, before Galactus shows up in FF, the only thing really worth reading is Spider-Man, which is so good.
posted by khaibit at 10:35 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Awww, why are you guys picking on Danny?! #privilegedlivesmatter
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:39 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


3. Looking *exactly* like a dead ex of theirs.

Large chance of having been cloned by Mr. Sinister, coming to a bad end.
posted by Artw at 10:42 AM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


Aw man, looks like my Marvel movie boycott* is over.

*It's not actually a boycott, just they've never seemed that appealing to me.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:45 AM on April 10, 2017


Also, I've gotten a bit less than halfway through Iron Fist, and although I'll probably finish it eventually--because of the same completist impulse that led me to buy the Power Man and Iron Fist comic for years after I'd stopped enjoying reading it--it's not a priority. I'm having too much fun in Mass Effect: Andromeda driving the buggy around the snow planet and listening to Peebee and Jaal's banter.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:49 AM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


chavenet - a ridiculous unsustainable short term diet, fasting completely before photoshoots, and things like deliberately dehydrating before a model shoot to make your skin tighter, and so your muscles look bigger, and also y'know those veins you always see on Men's Health type models? That's not actually a good thing.

You forgot the gear and the HGH. That also helps with the lean muscle mass and produces the vascularity. Every one of these guys you see shirtless in a big budget film is on some kind of (doctor supervised) cycle.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:54 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Goth Galadriel.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:58 AM on April 10, 2017 [5 favorites]


Darth Carol
posted by The Whelk at 11:01 AM on April 10, 2017 [13 favorites]


I just watched the trailer again, this time full screen on a large monitor and I noticed what I didn't see on my phone the first time: there's a Kirby Krackle around the title at the end.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 11:02 AM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


Ok, The Whelk, you totally nailed the nickname, puts Carol in a in an even better light, lol.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:04 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Heimdall, They're Lesbians
posted by middleclasstool at 11:12 AM on April 10, 2017 [8 favorites]


I hate you, robocop is bleeding, for putting that possibility in my head. Now I'm busy rounding out the First Family...
posted by GhostintheMachine at 11:17 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Flannfluga (literally, those/women who flee the penis).
posted by bonehead at 11:23 AM on April 10, 2017


The way I see it, since the FF keep hopping around dimensions, you could have Michael B Jordan reprise his Johnny, Chiklis voice the computer-animated Thing, and throw in someone new and exciting as Sue. Constance Wu, maybe?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:26 AM on April 10, 2017


If he weren't Skurge in this Thor movie, I'd love Karl Urban as the Thing.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 11:27 AM on April 10, 2017


Dammit, Jim, it's Clobbering Time!
posted by bonehead at 11:29 AM on April 10, 2017 [8 favorites]


Man I am completely in awe of this dude's visual memory: Kirby machine in background. (twitter photo)
posted by Greg Nog at 12:32 PM on April 10, 2017 [7 favorites]


Skurge with machine guns‼ HE STOOD ALONE AT GJALLERBRU!]

This big flashy goofy movie is gonna make me cry.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:38 PM on April 10, 2017 [9 favorites]


There are all sorts of quick fix - long term health damaging - tricks that a person can do to sculpt their body for the camera.

The silly thing is that you don't actually have to work that hard to get close to the same results. You can get 90% of the way there doing heavy, compound lifts three time a week and eating less.

Once you've got a program you like/can tolerate that works for you and keep up the habit, the lifting part isn't that hard. I mean, the weights are heavy and the last few reps are a bitch but it's nothing compared to eating less. You can read all about those challenges in any and every weight loss or diet thread around here so I don't think I need to go into more detail than that. It's fucking hard.

But if you eat less and lift more, you'll get in shape. The more your work and the less you eat, the closer you'll be to looking like a super-hero. You're not going to be taking your shirt off on a giant screen in front of millions of people so getting down to like 15% body fat and being able to lift reasonably heavy weights is probably good enough.

All those bulk/cut cycles, supplements, hours long workouts, etc. are what you have to do get that last 10%.

But even that's a lie. As others have said, you can get that look for 48 hours at the most. My shoulders are never going to be a big and round as Chris Evans's and my waist is never going to taper as much. It's because I workout for my health and for functional strength. Evans works on building big shoulders because it looks impressive and makes his waist look smaller. My legs and my core will probably be proportionally larger because my core and leg muscles are larger since that's where useful strength comes from.

And most of the work goes into working off as much fat while preserving as much muscle as possible. Body builders, for example, take bulk/cut cycles to extremes. At the top of their bulk cycle, they're as strong as they're ever going to be and they get FAT. From that point on, they skinnier and weaker to the point where, when they take to the stage at the competition, they're on the exact opposite end. They're as weak as they'll be before they start the cycle over. Then they bring on the spray tan, emulate a thin sheen of sweat, and in the movies probably strategically apply a little makeup to subtly emphasize the muscles.

Which, of course it's a lie. You can't have your SUPER HERO go out on a screen with a body that any idiot with a craigslist weight set can attain, you need to show the audience what the body of a SUPER HUMAN looks like. Since we don't have any super humans, they need to figure out how to fake it, just like everything else.
posted by VTX at 12:42 PM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


I mean, the weights are heavy and the last few reps are a bitch but it's nothing compared to eating less.

QFT. With weights you're done in a hour or so. Eating at a deficit is ALL DAY LONG.
posted by leotrotsky at 12:53 PM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


I just. 'We know each other! He's a friend from work!' Just makes me think that they've, I don't know, teamed up to fight the dreaded photocopier. Or defeated the coffee machine. Or managed to sneak the forms in triplicate that they totally forgot to submit into the right folder without the office manager noticing. Done battle with Bryan from IT.

Basically, what I am saying is I kind of really want a Thor and Banner cubicle drones au now. (This probably exists on ao3 but I'd have to fight through the mound of coffee shop aus first.)
posted by halcyonday at 12:56 PM on April 10, 2017 [9 favorites]


It does have a Guardians of the Galaxy feel to it, but I am totally okay with that.

It's the movie version of when Marvel Comics gets the fantastic artist who did that highly-acclaimed Guardians of the Galaxy miniseries and hires her to draw the next arc of Thor's comic.

(Or you could just say it's the movie equivalent of how Russell Dauterman has been knocking the artwork of the Jane Foster Mighty Thor comic out of the galaxy. (That title logo!))
posted by straight at 12:56 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


I need snarky rumpled Mark Ruffalo to get lots of talky screentime, because first, DREAMY, and second, give me buddy-cop hijinks with Thor and Bruce Banner. OF COURSE Thor and Hulk will be bash-buddies! They have SMASH in common! I want the developing bromance between Thor, living superpowered embodiment of golden retriever puppy, and Bruce, actual human gloomy basset hound.
posted by nicebookrack at 1:05 PM on April 10, 2017 [12 favorites]


making the lead actress green, week after week. The grey/purple plant woman on Farscape was eventually written out because the body paint was making the actress sick

This and the blue body paint Jennifer Lawrence had to endure in the X-Films baffles me. I would have guessed that changing an actor's skin color would be a much easier thing to do with CG than a whole lot of what gets done routinely in movies.
posted by straight at 1:06 PM on April 10, 2017


So I've already started sketching out the layout for a 'He Stood Alone at Gjallerbru' medieval style print.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:07 PM on April 10, 2017 [10 favorites]


If this movie does not find a reason to insert a random conversation between Bruce "that's my secret, I'm always slightly stoned" Banner and Jeff "alien acid trip" Goldblum, then they are THROWING TRUE ART AWAY
posted by nicebookrack at 1:12 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


That's my only complaint with this trailer. Too little Darryl

Darryl has likely evicted Thor's broke muscle-y ass for paying his rent in pumpkins
posted by nicebookrack at 1:16 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


RE: Iron Fist. Not bad for C-list Green Arrow knockoff
posted by mikelieman at 1:59 PM on April 10, 2017


Meanwhile my favourite Marvel heroes are stuck in Fox development hell. There are more good storylines and better villains tied up in the Fantastic Four franchise than just about any other line, and it kills me.

I feel your pain. It is ridiculous that the FF have had such a terrible string of films. All the elements to tell a truly epic and even heartbreaking tale or three are there. And that's just if they did Doc Doom right.

The Whelk has just won the Post of the Year and it's only freaking early April. I hereby sentence him to writing 50,000 Thor/Banner/Romanoff words.

I've got a question about that arena bit. Shouldn't Loki be the least bit nervous to see the Hulk coming through that door. Last time they met it didn't exactly go Loki's way.
posted by Ber at 2:20 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Basically, what I am saying is I kind of really want a Thor and Banner cubicle drones au now. (This probably exists on ao3 but I'd have to fight through the mound of coffee shop aus first.)

The search term you are looking for is Office AU.
posted by dinty_moore at 2:24 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


So I kind of didn't like the first two Thor movies but this looks like a lot of fun.
posted by octothorpe at 2:25 PM on April 10, 2017


Walt Simonson plot lines and character design, Kirby-esque aliens, Planet Hulk but with Thor as the Hulk and Hulk as Silver Surfer (called this one as soon as Ruffalo was rumored to be in the cast), a PoC woman as a super hero (Zoe Saldana, but covered in green paint and not her actually skin tone, is as close as we've been in the MCU), Karl Urban bringing the clenched-jaw Kiwi realness, Goldblum as himself, Kate Blanchett (Kate, remember that two seconds in Fellowship where Galadriel goes super dark/powerful? Now do that for an entire movie please), an amazing director who makes such joyful movies and officially has called out the tyranny of teal & orange, Hidds being Hidds, Immigrant Song getting used in a trailer by someone who listened to the lyrics, and Marvel finally realizing the Hemsworth might be their funniest leading actor.

I'm as bummed out about the apparent lack of my main horsey-man Beta Ray Bill as the rest of you, but there is so much stuff in this trailer that makes me giddy I'll forgive the omission.
posted by thecjm at 2:55 PM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


My only quibble is that it seems that, like the first movie, Thor will spend most of this one without his hammer and (presumably) without most of his godlike power. I'm suspicious of storytellers who always seem to want to tell stories about Superman--but without his powers. WHY IS THIS A SUPERMAN STORY THEN?! Make a Flash Gordon movie if you want to tell a space fantasy epic about a human-scale action hero who doesn't have a magic hammer. The whole point of superheroes is to tell a story that isn't the same as a story you could tell about normal people.

But the reason this is mere quibble in this case is because, unlike the DC movies, Marvel has got me to care about this particular character (and his brother). I'm not showing up for a movie about a god with a magic hammer, I'm there to see what's up with Hiddleston's Loki and his sweet doofus brother, Hemsworth's Thor.
posted by straight at 3:07 PM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


Hm, Loki's horn-hat is a little more Agent of Asgard-ish...
posted by lovecrafty at 3:07 PM on April 10, 2017


Maybe we'll get a Kid Loki and Leah movie someday, all things seem possible.
posted by Artw at 3:13 PM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


Don't even get my hopes up! Kid Loki is my favorite Loki!
posted by lovecrafty at 3:18 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Just makes me think that they've, I don't know, teamed up to fight the dreaded photocopier.

The other way to look at this is that Thor views being a superhero as his job (comes with being a prince Asgard) so in his mind, your fight with the photo copier is equivalent to one of his fights to bring stability to the 9 realms at the start of Thor 2 (where it bust apart a giant rock monster).

"Halcyonday my good friend! I've just returned from a harrowing fight against some rogue ice giants! Tell me, are you yet victorious in your struggle against the coffee maker?"

He would then nod gravely as you relate your fight to get an arcane coffee maker to make a decent cup of coffee.

Now that I think about it, having a guy listen to you vent about your shitty day and treat that with the same gravity as that time Ultron kicked the shit out of him has some appeal. And he's okay to look at.
posted by VTX at 3:22 PM on April 10, 2017 [24 favorites]


Never get your hopes up if Keiron Gillen is the main writer of your favorite character.
posted by Artw at 3:30 PM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


(But DO read his run on Journey into Mystery, everybody. Kid Loki is adorable.)
posted by Artw at 3:38 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


This trailer is already better than Age of Ultron. This movie will make two billion dollars.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:40 PM on April 10, 2017


I like classic Loki, kid Loki, fem Loki, anti-hero Loki.

Marvel seems to realize that Loki is quite possibly a better character than Thor and thus far seems to be willing to avoid subjecting him to a final resting place.

In comparison to the fate of Ronan this seems remarkably forward thinking. You don't have to kill off every good villain.

I also wouldn't mind Loki being willing to break the fourth wall. It shouldn't just be limited to Deadpool.
posted by vuron at 3:45 PM on April 10, 2017


About the only downside to this movie is that there isn't a lot of Thor on earth doing normal human things, which are my favorite parts of the other two movies.

I need Darcy to casually pick up mewmew because she doesn't realize that it's a big deal.
posted by VTX at 3:45 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


Argh I just realised that all the bellends from Guardians of the Galaxy will probably show up in this. I hate Chris Pratt. I hope this movie flops and everyone loses their homes.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:50 PM on April 10, 2017


Also the alley where the hammer gets exploded is literally right by my old work, they were filming there for a week or so. It's a good alley so I can see why the location people selected it. Chris Helmsworth bought everybody in the crowd a kebab from the kebab place next door, like 300 kebabs or something mental, and they are pretty good kebabs, and when I saw Tom Hiddleston walk past (in an on-screen suit, not his Loki outfit) I have to admit, I shouted "woo".
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:00 PM on April 10, 2017 [13 favorites]


Metafilter: I hope this movie flops and everyone loses their homes.

I am actually quite excited for this movie
posted by Fleebnork at 4:04 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Same. I just hate Guardians so, so much. It's a movie for people with plastic Chupa Chup keychains who unironically correct you when you say "jalapeno" the way it's spelled instead of the way it's pronounced.
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:13 PM on April 10, 2017


I do not believe they will be meeting any of the Avengers...

...in this movie.
posted by Artw at 4:15 PM on April 10, 2017


a PoC woman as a super hero (Zoe Saldana, but covered in green paint and not her actually skin tone, is as close as we've been in the MCU)

Quake / Daisy Johnson, Melinda May, and Yo-Yo Rodriguez (with spinoff!) would like a word.

Oh, ABC MCU. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. (I super-believe in you, Tad Cooper Agents of SHIELD!!!)
posted by nicebookrack at 4:55 PM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


It's a movie for people with plastic Chupa Chup keychains who unironically correct you when you say "jalapeno" the way it's spelled instead of the way it's pronounced.

I liked Guardians and now I feel like I need to get way into Spanish candy and pedantry
posted by jason_steakums at 5:21 PM on April 10, 2017 [15 favorites]


In comparison to the fate of Ronan this seems remarkably forward thinking. You don't have to kill off every good villain
I loved GOTG but I'm still mad they:
killed off Ronan
+ demoted Inhumans to the TV ghetto
= totally cut off the tropetastic canon crack-ship Ronan/Crystal arranged marriage romance novel IN SPAAAACE of my dreams

Lee Pace doing spaaaace romantic drama, y'all. We could all die happy.
posted by nicebookrack at 5:25 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


Lee Pace as Ronan
Anna Friel or Caroline Dhavernas as Crystal
lots of other usual suspects of course with the following:

Directed by Bryan Fuller

Seems like that would be about the best thing ever
posted by vuron at 5:33 PM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


I feel like if you're doing the Inhuman royal family it should be in something with the scale of an Avengers movie. I'm usually all about the smaller scale superhero stories, but it's like, you get to pull the trigger on Black Bolt speaking once, ditto with Maximus' full glorious "Loki + Purple Man + Littlefinger + legit insanity just took over an entire superpowered civilization" play he always makes, so it should be something that's significant in the universe and has just a huge sense of scale.

And they've been building up "humans are totally shitty to Inhumans" in AoS for so long that the inevitable "the Inhumans' big brothers from the dang moon heard you were bullying them and would like a word outside and also that word will level mountains when uttered" payoff should be big.

Or, uh, dude who made Iron Fist can put them in a TV show set in Hawaii, I guess. I'm sure that'll be fun.
posted by jason_steakums at 5:54 PM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


Feels like more of what I want from superhero movies. More westerns with superpowers. More farces with superheros. Fuck no to turgid metaphors for the collapse of American democracy with superpowers.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 6:06 PM on April 10, 2017


But DO read his run on Journey into Mystery, everybody. Kid Loki is adorable.

For real. If you have the slightest interest in reading a comic about Loki dying and being reincarnated as a kid who might not be evil anymore, track down Kieron Gillen's run on Journey into Mystery.
posted by straight at 6:24 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


VTX: ""Halcyonday my good friend! I've just returned from a harrowing fight against some rogue ice giants! Tell me, are you yet victorious in your struggle against the coffee maker?""

"Hey, Hulk. Smashing hard or hardly smashing?"
"Man, what a week. TOIF, right? What? You know, 'Thank Odin It's Freyja's Day'"
posted by mhum at 6:53 PM on April 10, 2017 [14 favorites]


It's a movie for people with plastic Chupa Chup keychains who unironically correct you when you say "jalapeno" the way it's spelled instead of the way it's pronounced.

What sort of MANIAC pronounces " jalapeño" the way it's spelled?
posted by happyroach at 11:40 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]


Sometimes I like my key-ew-sa-dillah spicy.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:28 AM on April 11, 2017


What sort of MANIAC pronounces " jalapeño" the way it's spelled?

Same guy who says "HORSE DOOVERS" when talking about before-meal snacks.

I never claimed to be clever or original, but I will give myself this, I'm lowkey annoying.
posted by turbid dahlia at 12:32 AM on April 11, 2017 [10 favorites]


VTX, your ideas intrigue me, I would like to sign up to your newsletter. :D :D :D

(I could really do with sympathetic work!Thor right now as I am trying to get colleagues use spreadsheets for basic spreadsheet appropriate tasks. I know. I am truly History's Greatest Monster but even HGM needs sympathetic work!Thor sometimes.)
posted by halcyonday at 1:08 AM on April 11, 2017


oops
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:20 AM on April 11, 2017


> "... people with plastic Chupa Chup keychains who unironically correct you when you say 'jalapeno' the way it's spelled instead of the way it's pronounced."

I ... honestly have no idea who is being stereotyped here. It's a movie for people who like ... lollipops? And Spanish?
posted by kyrademon at 4:04 AM on April 11, 2017 [6 favorites]


That's a dangerous game turbid dahlia, I have said Can Apes so often I forget its not the real pronunciation.
posted by biffa at 5:08 AM on April 11, 2017 [2 favorites]


Boo, I forgot The Rock Was being courted for DC stuff. If they do The Rock vs Superman I hope at least they let him be funny.
posted by Artw at 6:10 AM on April 11, 2017


Fingers crossed that Agents of SHIELD is renewed for another season, which will focus on SHIELD juggling a new wave of superpowered Asgardian refugees.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:20 AM on April 11, 2017


Boo, I forgot The Rock Was being courted for DC stuff. If they do The Rock vs Superman I hope at least they let him be funny.

*checks link* Ohhh, as Black Adam! I had a flash of excitement that there was some amazing wrestling themed update of Superman vs. Muhammad Ali in the works. That would certainly be an effective way to change direction away from their dark and dour movie Superman.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:32 AM on April 11, 2017


I never claimed to be clever or original, but I will give myself this, I'm lowkey annoying.

Aha! You've revealed yourself, Loki! Can't catch me that way more than two or three times!
posted by Four Ds at 8:36 AM on April 11, 2017 [3 favorites]


The Rock should be Lobo.

The end.
posted by Tevin at 8:46 AM on April 11, 2017 [3 favorites]


That 1000% works.
posted by Artw at 9:03 AM on April 11, 2017 [1 favorite]


But maybe don't let the current DC movieverse touch Lobo because that's a character that will be cringier than Leto's Joker in the hands of Snyder et al.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:05 AM on April 11, 2017 [4 favorites]


In other comic book-turned-movie news: New Atomic Blonde trailer.
posted by rewil at 9:39 AM on April 11, 2017 [2 favorites]


I'm torn because I've heard not great things about that movie from reliable sources but boy are the trailers great.
posted by Artw at 9:45 AM on April 11, 2017


I know! It almost looks like someone wrote a Bond movie and couldn't get it picked up so they gender swapped the protagonist and made almost no other changes.

Too many times women in action scenes just don't punch with the same brutality that men are often shown when fighting. Like they're trying to score points instead of breaking another human being. It's not always a gender thing and some movies do that as a deliberate choice (like the stylised fighting in The Matrix) but often it's gendered and it bugs me.

This movie does not have that problem. It looks like Theron punched HARD and will lay down a SAVAGE beating. As well she should against some dudes trying to kill her! And then they don't shy away from showing her bruised and battered just because she's a pretty lady.

I'd be lauding the way the violence is depicted if it were a dude in the lead role, that they seem to be sticking with those choices with a female in the lead is a good sign. But I'm still absolutely ready for someone to have spilled a bunch of misogyny all over the thing, ruining it. Not that a female character can't wear revealing outfits and have sex with other agents, history has shown those things to often be problematic.

This looks like a great action movie that happens to have a female protagonist but I worry that it won't live up to that standard.
posted by VTX at 10:06 AM on April 11, 2017


I'm probably there day one anyhow, childcare allowing.
posted by Artw at 10:13 AM on April 11, 2017


I'm kind of intrigued by Sleight as a possible fresh superhero movie take. Reviews aren't stellar but I'll give it a shot if only to vote with my dollar for more and more varied superhero stories, especially with POC casts.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:31 AM on April 11, 2017 [1 favorite]


Atomic Blonde: About 60% Bourne, 40% Bond, I thought. I'll still see it, I'm sure.

Still waiting for (Rucka's) Queen and Country. Would be a great Netflix/HBO series.
posted by bonehead at 12:11 PM on April 11, 2017 [3 favorites]


Per Rucka the closest TV show to that is The Sandbaggers.
posted by Artw at 12:22 PM on April 11, 2017 [2 favorites]


I know, he even references it in the original comic. But they've been teasing a movie now for three four years. Apparently Ellen Page was set to star. I could believe her as Tara, even without a blond wig.
posted by bonehead at 12:25 PM on April 11, 2017


But, I have to say, I'm glad to see Theron get a shot at a smart action movie franchise.
posted by bonehead at 12:27 PM on April 11, 2017


"I'm glad to see Theron get a shot at a smart action movie"

I just hope it's not her Geena Davis / The Long Kiss Goodnight moment.
posted by komara at 12:47 PM on April 11, 2017


Well I like The Long Kiss Goodnight. Wasn't Cutthroat Island the most notable bed shitting in Geena Davis' career?
posted by biffa at 1:53 PM on April 11, 2017 [2 favorites]


That thing is such a career destroying vortex of suck we all forgot it existed.
posted by Artw at 1:54 PM on April 11, 2017


Same guy who says "HORSE DOOVERS" when talking about before-meal snacks.

Either WHORE'S DIVORCE or HORSE'd OF YOURS, surely.
posted by straight at 3:32 PM on April 11, 2017


random forum thread about the movie led me to a whole blog dedicated to DESERT CHROME - the font used in the title / logo.
posted by idiopath at 7:13 PM on April 11, 2017 [6 favorites]


Wow, I can literally taste my adolescent insecurity while looking at that site.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:21 PM on April 11, 2017 [2 favorites]


Maybe because I'm not much of a superhero fan, but the trailer reminds me of nothing more than this classic Calvin and Hobbes strip.
posted by phoenixy at 10:58 PM on April 11, 2017


Yes, the Psygnosis logo! And Silverhawks! SIL-VERRRRR-HAAAAAWKS!
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:07 AM on April 12, 2017 [2 favorites]


Thor's "YES!" when he sees Hulk is just a perfect moment, because it turns out that what the Marvel movies' endless parade of self-reference needed was for at least one of the characters involved to be in on the gag, and just as psyched about it as the audience is supposed to be.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 5:47 AM on April 12, 2017 [8 favorites]


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