Oh Canada...
April 22, 2017 3:00 PM   Subscribe

The 3 hrs of LeMelons! Get a dirt track cut into a field. Take $300 beaters and race them for 3 hours, or until they all fail. That’s the Three Hours of LeMelons, Canada’s take on the epic beater race...
the 24 hrs of LeMons-- previously on the Blue

It is NOT the 24 Hours of LeMons down here in the States. That one runs at faster speeds on tarmac, and requires all kinds of fancy safety gear.


LeMelons isn’t quite that hardcore, keeping the slow cars running slow on far less grippy mud where even the most miserable, underpowered wrecks can enjoy getting gloriously sideways. It can still ruin your car, though, as one Audi team in particular found out mid-race.



A VW rabbit was painted like the General Lee from the Dukes of Hazzard. A Brexit-themed Subaru was decorated like a double-decker bus. And a Ford Taurus wagon, driven by the race’s only all-female team, was done up like a game piece from the board game The Game of Life.


Ultimately, however, only half of the competitors would sustain the whole three hours without breaking down.


Little is known about the LeMelons race. The identities of racers are not disclosed, the exact date is not known and the race is invite-only and not advertised to the public.


However, the race’s slickly edited videos (which are released anonymously under the name “Casual Swede”) have become an online favourite in automotive circles.


The race takes place every spring at an undisclosed farm field in what appears to be Southern Alberta.
posted by shockingbluamp (16 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
It's all fun and games until someone loses a limb.

Then it's a sport.
posted by jacquilynne at 3:26 PM on April 22, 2017 [4 favorites]


THE AFERMATH
posted by ardgedee at 3:46 PM on April 22, 2017


fwiw, not surprised about the Tercel surviving the race. In the mid-90s I had a POS-grade Tercel with a top speed of 55 miles an hour and random noises emitting from all parts of the car, but with the constitution of Rasputin. I ended up selling it to the super of the apartment I was living in at the time and later moved out. Some years later, we crossed paths and the first thing he brought up was that he still resented me, because since the Tercel would never die he couldn't in good conscience get rid of it despite its constant near-wreck state.
posted by ardgedee at 3:52 PM on April 22, 2017 [8 favorites]


THIS. This is the sporting event I most hope to compete in one day. I have two daughters and sincerely my dearest dream is that some day we can do this as a family activity.
posted by 256 at 4:35 PM on April 22, 2017 [4 favorites]


My only connection to any kind of motorsports is long ago, when my then-girlfriend had an ex-boyfriend who was a member of a motocross racing team that had a reputation as the most-injured team in the region. They even had t-shirts made up with a team logo in AvantGarde typeface: "TEAM SWOLEN". Even though I had far more fat than swelling, and never got over 5mph on a motocross bike, I got one and wore it proudly until I wore it out. And yes, it was one of the inspirations for oneSWELLfoop.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:41 PM on April 22, 2017 [2 favorites]


Not to be confused with a Demolition Derby, this was more of a Demolition Fedora.... or a Demolition Trilby...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:39 PM on April 22, 2017 [1 favorite]


Come now, a Demolition Propeller Cap has to be the way to go here. Too fun, not to, I think.
posted by oddman at 7:49 PM on April 22, 2017 [2 favorites]


I like that they're all wearing nomex. For safety, like.
posted by fshgrl at 8:24 PM on April 22, 2017


Well, one of the entrants in the previous year's LeMelons had a "Trump for President" theme (a self-proclaimed all-Canadian team in this Canada-based event, staged way back in March), so there was certainly a "Demolition MAGA Cap".
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:45 PM on April 22, 2017


"Any special techniques that you could maybe share with other drivers, in your experience?"
"Keep it in drive!"
"What if you have a manual?"
"Oh, we'll read it first!"
posted by chrominance at 6:08 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]


I know little of cars, but I like the enthusiasm as well as the attempts to keep the "race" light and fun; it's more about keeping things going than about going all out.

And while I can't tell you exactly where this is taking place, if that isn't Southern Alberta in the spring, Id be shocked.
posted by nubs at 8:57 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]


That was fun. There was some pretty good driving from a few of the cars, too. Particularly the Orange Golf and the Volvo.
posted by Brockles at 10:16 AM on April 23, 2017


I'm pretty suspicious of that GTI being a "$300" car. It runs awfully well, unless it was a totaled racer.
posted by fshgrl at 12:44 PM on April 23, 2017


And while I can't tell you exactly where this is taking place, if that isn't Southern Alberta in the spring, Id be shocked.

The store that apparently provides the drones taking the aerial footage (or at least that's my guess) is based in Calgary, so you're probably right!
posted by chrominance at 1:31 PM on April 23, 2017


fshgrl: "I like that they're all wearing nomex. For safety, like."

Those are actually work coveralls (some of which are fire resistant but rarely Nomex ®) that are extremely common on industrial sites around here/there. They are a good choice for muddy location especially if your company is picking up the cleaning.
posted by Mitheral at 7:56 PM on April 23, 2017


Canadians : Kings of low energy comedy.


Team Derby the Love Bug
" any known problems at this moment?"
"Well, it's an Audi..."

Team Star Wreck
"Who's your biggest enemy out there today?"
" The Subaru, or maybe that Audi."
"Not the Klingons? Vulcans?"
"Pick the Klingons."
"the Klingons."
"Yeah, we're going to shake off those Klingons"
posted by djrock3k at 6:13 AM on April 24, 2017


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