The Physics of Poo
April 28, 2017 6:35 AM Subscribe
The physics of poo, or why it takes you and an elephant the same amount of time. From the tiniest to the most massive of poos, physics predicts we should all spend the same amount of time on the john.
Mucus. The answer is always mucus.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:48 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 6:48 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
yep, about 10 seconds.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:48 AM on April 28, 2017
posted by leotrotsky at 6:48 AM on April 28, 2017
Elephants would obviously take longer if they had iPads.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:51 AM on April 28, 2017 [25 favorites]
posted by cjorgensen at 6:51 AM on April 28, 2017 [25 favorites]
What's the Deal With Poop?
Fecal Transplants: You Gonna Drink That Poop?
posted by INFJ at 6:53 AM on April 28, 2017
Fecal Transplants: You Gonna Drink That Poop?
posted by INFJ at 6:53 AM on April 28, 2017
So first I read this story and then I decide to take a break from the woes of the world and see what's new on metafilter.
posted by lagomorphius at 6:55 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by lagomorphius at 6:55 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
Damn, this story reminded me of my long term plan to build a poo themed website/blog/aggregator, so I just went to check the availability of my domain name, and it turns out someone has already beaten me to the punch:
www.poodigest.com
I am so bummed right now.
posted by grog at 7:09 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]
www.poodigest.com
I am so bummed right now.
posted by grog at 7:09 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]
In case you're wondering about urination…
posted by kimota at 7:09 AM on April 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by kimota at 7:09 AM on April 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
Reading. Reading is fine. Right?
posted by esto-again at 7:10 AM on April 28, 2017
posted by esto-again at 7:10 AM on April 28, 2017
Well over a decade ago I was playing Final Fantasy XI. In case you weren't aware, that is a mmorpg where it was (is?) impossible to level up solo, you have to group. As you probably also know, the great majority of people are flakes, so grouping is an exercise in futility much of the time (this also probably led to the game's less than stellar performance).
Anyway, a guy I was grouped with one time stopped in the middle of our levelling and said he had to poop. In FFXI anything less than a perfect group was futile, so the rest of us resigned ourselves to a long wasted time waiting/trying to find a replacement. Much to everyone's surprise, though, he came back like thirty seconds later.
When asked about what happened, he just said "I'm skinny, I poop fast."
posted by Literaryhero at 7:14 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]
Anyway, a guy I was grouped with one time stopped in the middle of our levelling and said he had to poop. In FFXI anything less than a perfect group was futile, so the rest of us resigned ourselves to a long wasted time waiting/trying to find a replacement. Much to everyone's surprise, though, he came back like thirty seconds later.
When asked about what happened, he just said "I'm skinny, I poop fast."
posted by Literaryhero at 7:14 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]
Close the blast doors, close the blast doors.
Open the blast doors, open the blast doors.
Essentially the whole film leading up to that point is just the set up for a visual joke about sphincters.
posted by biffa at 7:24 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
Open the blast doors, open the blast doors.
Essentially the whole film leading up to that point is just the set up for a visual joke about sphincters.
posted by biffa at 7:24 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
As someone who experienced the joy of colonoscopy last week, I can tell you that the 2cm per second speed of defecation for humans is an average velocity. During my prep day, I personally discovered speeds MUCH HIGHER than that.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 9:05 AM on April 28, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 9:05 AM on April 28, 2017 [10 favorites]
Reading. Reading is fine. Right?
I have a friend who lends books but only with the understanding that there to be no toilet reading.
Anyway, that's why we have Reader's Digest.
posted by lagomorphius at 10:21 AM on April 28, 2017
I have a friend who lends books but only with the understanding that there to be no toilet reading.
Anyway, that's why we have Reader's Digest.
posted by lagomorphius at 10:21 AM on April 28, 2017
As someone who experienced the joy of colonoscopy last week, I can tell you that the 2cm per second speed of defecation for humans is an average velocity. During my prep day, I personally discovered speeds MUCH HIGHER than that.
You know you're doing it right when you get actual lift.
posted by MrVisible at 11:03 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
You know you're doing it right when you get actual lift.
posted by MrVisible at 11:03 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by leotrotsky at 6:48 AM on April 28, 2017 [6 favorites]