Smile, Darn Ya, Smile!
May 4, 2017 8:58 AM   Subscribe

 
So in Russia we used to—if somebody looks at us, we just kind of look the other way, unless we about to fight or something like that.
posted by bq at 9:03 AM on May 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


example of an "excited" smile

the mouth says excited but the eyes ain't in agreement
posted by terretu at 9:04 AM on May 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


I always thought it was to hide the pain.
posted by srboisvert at 9:05 AM on May 4, 2017 [19 favorites]


Because I paid $2500 for those braces, darn it, so you'd BETTER be smiling in your school pictures ...

No, but actually, the article's claim about high-immigration nations' need to communicate in broad nonverbal ways is really interesting.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:06 AM on May 4, 2017 [6 favorites]


I always thought it's because we have to constantly demonstrate to others that we are one of the Elect.
posted by soren_lorensen at 9:07 AM on May 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


Canada is a high-immigration nation and has nowhere near the same level of crazed smiling as the United States.
posted by srboisvert at 9:09 AM on May 4, 2017 [13 favorites]


Ignorance is bliss, I guess.
posted by Lyme Drop at 9:11 AM on May 4, 2017


😐
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 9:13 AM on May 4, 2017 [5 favorites]


Wal-Mart... scrapped the morning Wal-Mart chant by staff members.“People found these things strange; Germans just don’t behave that way,”

Not too mention that massed displays of uniform affect would probably have much more sinister connotations in a country with two totalitarian regimes in living memory.
posted by acb at 9:18 AM on May 4, 2017 [12 favorites]


The first reference is from a Finnish person though.
The Finns make the British look enthusiastic and outgoing.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


No, but actually, the article's claim about high-immigration nations' need to communicate in broad nonverbal ways is really interesting

I have wondered if the stereotype of Italians needing to gesticulate with their hands whilst speaking comes from Italy having been amalgamated from a number of smaller states with distinct languages relatively recently, and it having been a likelihood for a long time that any two random Italians might have different native dialects.
posted by acb at 9:29 AM on May 4, 2017 [5 favorites]


It's our only way to experience affection and goodwill because we don't allow non-sexual physical contact like holding hands or hugging. A genuine smile feels almost as good to give or receive as physical contact. Almost.
posted by straight at 9:31 AM on May 4, 2017 [12 favorites]


Does this diversity/homogeneity thing also apply to different regions within the US? Do people smile more on the coasts than in the middle?
posted by picklenickle at 9:34 AM on May 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Smiling is also one of the key components in How to Win Friends and Influence People, which has been influencing how a LOT of Americans think and act for almost a century.
posted by kimberussell at 9:38 AM on May 4, 2017


I personally know people who have worked for Walmart stores and corporate both, and I can report with authority that the Walmart cheer/chant stuff is not hated solely by Germans.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:47 AM on May 4, 2017 [14 favorites]


The example of an excited smile is what I've experienced with Midwestern fundamentalist xtian teabagger hyperpseudofriendliness .
posted by brujita at 9:48 AM on May 4, 2017 [5 favorites]


Not too mention that massed displays of uniform affect would probably have much more sinister connotations in a country with two totalitarian regimes in living memory.

And unlike Nazis, Yodelers are still allowed to menace the alps, beer halls and town squares.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:55 AM on May 4, 2017 [6 favorites]


It could also be all the medications in our public drinking water, but that would only explain the last few decades. I like the "immigrants smile more" hypothesis better.
posted by mattamatic at 10:03 AM on May 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Someone should do a study about why American tourists over the age of 35 always seem to wear Mom jeans (with a belt!), shiny white basketball sneakers, ball caps and t-shirts with sports logos. It's so odd.
posted by My Dad at 10:12 AM on May 4, 2017 [6 favorites]


The induced smiling (and other nonverbal language) is also hard for American born people who have a hard time reading and making nonverbal cues. I have to think about how to make my face go to convey a thought or feeling unless it's involuntary. This has led to arguments because my face doesn't say what my words do.

Their explanations of smiling being a good way around language barriers and to show excitement and enthusiasm make sense. But how do people just know how to do it and read it? That part still baffles me. Things like How to Win Friends and Influence People and WalMart-style forced smiling could explain some of it I suppose.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 10:15 AM on May 4, 2017 [5 favorites]


"Americans are the most miserable bunch of motherfuckers on the planet, but they have to pretend upon pain of death they're having a great time."
- Rafi Zabor, The Bear Comes Home
posted by gottabefunky at 10:19 AM on May 4, 2017 [18 favorites]


It feels good to smile! The part of me that enjoys it is probably the same part that wholeheartedly enjoys clapping, waving, and going "Wooooh!" at people (the Pittsburgh Marathon is coming up this weekend and I am SO EXCITED). I noticed years ago that in every photo of me I have the same sadly-eager expression on my face, beaming like I'm thinking "OMG WOW A CAMERA HOOORAY" - I've tried making a more dignified expression but it never looks right to me, so I just roll with it.
posted by DingoMutt at 10:20 AM on May 4, 2017 [17 favorites]


The example of an excited smile is what I've experienced with Midwestern fundamentalist xtian teabagger hyperpseudofriendliness .

Yep – that's the face of politicians, salespeople, gladhanders, and glib self-ingratiators of all stripes. People whose friendliness is not sincere, but part of a practiced routine to "influence" you (probably learned from annoying salesmanship books). And I've known so many of those folks who just cannot (or will not) switch it off and interact with you like a normal human being. I could do with a lot less of that kind of smile, honestly.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 10:27 AM on May 4, 2017 [7 favorites]


Oh criminy. Invariably, when asked to smile for a camera, I produce the most revolting, unintentional rictus. If I must appear friendly in a photo, I raise my eyebrows in a quizzical way, instead.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 10:27 AM on May 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


I produce the most revolting, unintentional rictus. If I must appear friendly in a photo, I raise my eyebrows in a quizzical way, instead.

Seems logical.

[Vulcan salute] Live Long and Prosper.
posted by srboisvert at 10:50 AM on May 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


DingoMutt are you in reality a golden retriever?
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 10:50 AM on May 4, 2017 [15 favorites]


DingoMutt are you in reality a golden retriever?

I knew there was a reason she was such a good hostess!
posted by bowtiesarecool at 10:55 AM on May 4, 2017 [2 favorites]


The diversity theme is interesting, but even in the United States smiles vary by location. I lived in New England until I was 30 then moved to Atlanta. Once in Georgia I had to teach myself to smile back at people in check out lines, in the elevator, on the street, etc... At first I only managed an awkward grimace, but now find myself smiling without being provoked. I have to remember to tone it down when I'm back in New England. You do that there and they think you're crazy and/or want something from you.
posted by Constant Reader at 11:07 AM on May 4, 2017 [3 favorites]


Not too mention that massed displays of uniform affect would probably have much more sinister connotations in a country with two totalitarian regimes in living memory.

As opposed to just the one?
posted by The Bellman at 11:08 AM on May 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


the mouth says excited but the eyes ain't in agreement

I'm not convinced any of the people in that article are actually smiling. Looks more like they're struggling to show their upper gums.
posted by effbot at 11:10 AM on May 4, 2017


Chimps smile to let others know they are not a threat. America is and has been a dangerous place.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:17 AM on May 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


Chimps smile to let others know they are not a threat.

I'm one of those people you would call an "eye smiler," in that you can usually tell when I'm smiling, but it doesn't necessarily look like a smile. Usually the corners of my mouth are turned down when I smile. My mom used to yell at me "smile like a normal person for once!" whenever someone was taking my picture. (A couple years ago I finally sat her down and told her it was insulting.)

So due to my natural smile, I have to make a conscious effort to have a more communicable smile. And I do that by showing my top teeth, like a chimp, but somehow it works. So now whenever there's a picture of me smiling, or I'm otherwise being polite, it's not my real smile, it's really my impression of a chimpanzee.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 11:25 AM on May 4, 2017 [10 favorites]


"Does this diversity/homogeneity thing also apply to different regions within the US? Do people smile more on the coasts than in the middle?"

The middle isn't that homogenous -- that's an erasure of the PoC and recent immigrants in more rural midwestern areas, as well as small midwestern cities (let alone large ones). Also historically, due to more recent settlement, Midwestern cities maintained strong language communities until really quite recently, even though most of those earlier settlers from many different language and ethnic backgrounds are all now classed as "white" (I can go to Catholic Church in my small midwestern city in its historic languages of English, Arabic/Aramaic, and German; as well as its recent Spanish and a couple of Indian languages, and that's a city of 110,000). So I question your premise that it's particularly homogenous here, but we do smile a lot in the Midwest!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:09 PM on May 4, 2017 [3 favorites]


Great. At home I get told SMILE by strangers, and now if I go abroad they will dislike me for smiling.
posted by JanetLand at 12:10 PM on May 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


"It feels good to smile! The part of me that enjoys it is probably the same part that wholeheartedly enjoys clapping, waving, and going "Wooooh!" at people"

I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:11 PM on May 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


I assumed it was a "Hey don't shoot me, I'm not a threat, I'm your pal!" sort of thing. Like the chimps mentioned above, but with guns.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:36 PM on May 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Surely it's because they're happy people, living in history's only truly free country, where even the ordinary people enjoy luxuries beyond the dreams of ancient kings?
posted by Segundus at 1:04 PM on May 4, 2017 [8 favorites]


Chimps smile to let others know they are not a threat.

They show their teeth, at least. I guess that's a question for the americans in this thread -- is it still a proper smile according to US standards if you don't see the teeth? Or if you don't see the bottom teeth?
posted by effbot at 1:25 PM on May 4, 2017


Never trust anyone who smiles without a good reason, and very few people have a reason to smile, even if they think they do.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:46 PM on May 4, 2017


One of the greatest things about staying in Bucharest for a weeK: zero casual smiling.
posted by XtinaS at 3:51 PM on May 4, 2017


No, it is definitely not a proper smile without top teeth. Bottom optional
posted by dame at 4:03 PM on May 4, 2017


slnyt, may I introduce you to slatlantic ?
posted by y2karl at 4:45 PM on May 4, 2017


Speaking as an American who smiles frequently (we live in a city with many neighbors who don't speak English fluently, so that part of the analysis makes perfect sense to me) but who doesn't usually show her teeth when doing so… no. Smiling without showing teeth is a perfectly acceptable American smile.

Hell, I'm even Californian. Reject the toothy imperative! It's possible to convey good will and cheer without flashing the teeth!
posted by Lexica at 4:47 PM on May 4, 2017 [3 favorites]


"Americans are the most miserable bunch of motherfuckers on the planet, but they have to pretend upon pain of death they're having a great time."
- Rafi Zabor, The Bear Comes Home
posted by gottabefunky at 10:19 AM on May 4 [10 favorites +] [!]


This reminds me of when my wife (before we married) observed in a Target that "walking down the greeting card isle during Valentine's reminds me of Mr. Love by The Toadies. Loooove looove looove love love... AHAHAHAHAH!"
posted by Groundhog Week at 5:16 PM on May 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


It's the sign either of a liar or a moron. -- David Mitchell on the 'customer service' smile, found most often in the U.S.
posted by tzikeh at 5:29 PM on May 4, 2017


Canada is a high-immigration nation and has nowhere near the same level of crazed smiling as the United States.

Divergent evolution. They solve the same problem with apologies instead of smiles.
posted by No-sword at 5:43 PM on May 4, 2017 [6 favorites]


Yeah, sorry.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:06 PM on May 4, 2017 [6 favorites]


It might be about guns. (Like Alvy Ampersand mentions above)

Like, in addition to having many different cultures that require non-verbal communication, you can't do the old thing from which the handshake arose, of waiting until you're within striking distance and extending your sword-hand to show you mean no harm. America came of age with side-arms and a particular fixation upon them. So what do you do to show you mean no harm to your neighbor, approaching from much farther away across open land than one is probably used to in Europe?

You smile. And you wave. The wave acknowledges the sight of the other person and also that you're not reaching for your weapon, and the smile invites a smile and wave in return.

Then it becomes just a cultural thing you learn without knowing why you're doing it, and that connects with good friendly feels and endorphins, and it's just part of how you act in that society even if it doesn't have it's former usefulness in the same way.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:07 PM on May 4, 2017 [2 favorites]


Wal-Mart stopped requiring sales clerks to smile at customers—a practice that some male shoppers interpreted as flirting—and scrapped the morning Wal-Mart chant by staff members.

I'm kind of jealous of Germany. Male shoppers here in the US still interpret forced smiles from cashiers as flirting, and I doubt American employees really want to do all that chanting. That doesn't mean we have the wherewithal to say hey look, no, we don't want to do this. We just don't have any labor laws.

I think US employers really do have some kind of perverse fixation on mandatory cheerfulness that doesn't match up with how people behave on their own time. One time I was working at a temp agency and they had me filling in for their own receptionist one day. I knew how to answer phones & talk to people in a professional, businesslike way but they kept telling me I needed to be peppier. I had to be smiling over the phone where it wasn't appropriate to the words I was saying, because, that's just how we do things here.
posted by bleep at 8:05 PM on May 4, 2017 [3 favorites]


On the other hand when I have to deal with employees of businesses who are grumpy at me for no reason, I'm not into that either. Just be neutral.
posted by bleep at 8:07 PM on May 4, 2017


American's smile so much to sell the lie that we are the greatest people on earth. A lie that we know to be false, a lie that even the most cursory examination of our history will show to be bullshit. We telegraph the lie by electing arrogant sadistic conmen fucks to high office to punish ourselves for our own arrogance. A lie that has been carried along by the one moment in our history when we weren't completely actively evil, and nearly accidentally did something that could be termed good. Our performance in WWII, The exception that proved the rule.

Or, you know, because our parents raise us to.
posted by evilDoug at 10:24 PM on May 4, 2017 [3 favorites]


Someone should do a study about why American tourists over the age of 35 always seem to wear Mom jeans (with a belt!), shiny white basketball sneakers, ball caps and t-shirts with sports logos. It's so odd.

In an amazing coincidence, I just completed an extensive survey on that very topic. The top three reasons are:

1. Why the fuck not?
2. The belts are necessary for erotic purposes.
3. They're Canadian.
posted by betweenthebars at 11:37 PM on May 4, 2017 [2 favorites]


It's our only way to experience affection and goodwill because we don't allow non-sexual physical contact like holding hands or hugging. A genuine smile feels almost as good to give or receive as physical contact. Almost.
hmm but isn't one of the things that surprises immigrants and visitors about america precisely all the physical contact? hugging, slaps on the back, handshakes, high-fives and so on. but hugging especially is something that people from places like england and japan get thrown off by when they come to the US because, like you hang out with new acquaintances and they hug you before you leave - this is an american thing that throws off many people, no?
posted by LeviQayin at 4:08 AM on May 5, 2017


"I always thought it's because we have to constantly demonstrate to others that we are one of the Elect."
...Have you ever even met a Calvinist?
posted by Blasdelb at 5:21 AM on May 5, 2017


DingoMutt are you in reality a golden retriever?

A RETRIEVER YES THAT IS CORRECT I LOVE BABIES BUT NOT IN THE EATING WAY
posted by DingoMutt at 6:29 AM on May 5, 2017 [6 favorites]


I picked a work colleague up from Sydney airport after he'd been in Reno, NV for four weeks. I'd been with him for the first three weeks, and we were working long hours and so eating out most evenings.

I asked him where he wanted to go for breakfast. "Somewhere unfriendly" was his only requirement.
posted by kjs4 at 7:46 AM on May 5, 2017 [2 favorites]




I interviewed for a job at Walmart when I was 18. It was a group interview and at the end they had us do the chant. I needed a job to be able to move out with my boyfriend but I didn't need the job badly enough to take part in the chant with any kind of enthusiasm. In fact, I think I rolled my eyes and laughed. I did not get the job. I was not disappointed by that.
posted by twilightlost at 9:23 AM on May 5, 2017


I don't know if the immigration theory holds--lots of immigrants in New York and the times I got smiled at by a stranger I could count on one hand.
posted by Automocar at 9:28 AM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]


Because the pursuit of happiness is written into the very fabric of our national uniform of Being the Best, and smiles adorn that uniform. MOAR FLAIR JOANNA.
posted by Beethoven's Sith at 1:58 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]


I always assumed it was because any random person might be armed and who knows what could happen if they took offence.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 7:36 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]


Automocar: "I don't know if the immigration theory holds--lots of immigrants in New York and the times I got smiled at by a stranger I could count on one hand."

I'm spending the weekend in New York and plan on smiling at as many people as I can. I'll report back at how well that goes.
posted by octothorpe at 8:55 PM on May 5, 2017


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