METAPHORS ARE MY LIFE

May 5, 2017 5:01 PM

Brad Pitt opens up to GQ (Prada, $3,499) about his failures as a father and his new life ("I just felt like Brad was a misnomer, and now I just feel like fucking Brad.") and is then pilloried (with his interviewer) in The Gaurdian. Hilarity ensues.
posted by Joseph Gurl (86 comments total)

That made me donate to the Guardian.
posted by acrasis at 5:20 PM on May 5, 2017 [8 favorites]

Christ, what an asshole (Calvin Klein, $149)
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:25 PM on May 5, 2017 [12 favorites]

"I just felt like Brad was a misnomer, and now I just feel like fucking Brad."

I think Sisyphus may have been the wrong Greek myth there.
(Narciso Rodriguez, $799)
posted by leotrotsky at 5:29 PM on May 5, 2017 [19 favorites]

Serious questions:

1. Why does GQ list the prices of clothes like this (I have seen this before in their articles but I do not read them regularly)?
2. Why does anyone pay that much money for pants?

posted by koavf at 5:29 PM on May 5, 2017 [10 favorites]

See, I'm torn. On the one hard, divorce is terrible, I can't imagine what it feels like to be away from your kids, quitting drinking is hard...

On the other hand,
"I've never heard anyone laugh bigger than an African mother who's lost nine family members. What is that? I just got R&B for the first time. R&B comes from great pain, but it's a celebration. To me, it's embracing what's left. It's that African woman being able to laugh much more boisterously than I've ever been able to."

So. Yeah. (Ralph Lauren, $6995)
posted by perplexion at 5:31 PM on May 5, 2017 [20 favorites]

2. Why does anyone pay that much money for pants?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veblen_good
posted by Pink Fuzzy Bunny at 5:31 PM on May 5, 2017 [25 favorites]

1. The articles are ads
2. They have excruciatingly sensitive nether parts
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:33 PM on May 5, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm embarrassed for a specific time in my life where I subscribed to GQ. I was in my mid 20s and I thought I was so cool and hip for being a regular reader.

At some point, I realized that I couldn't afford a single fucking thing that was being advertised to me and that there was a whole lot of fluff and not a lot of content.

The Guardian critique was spot on. Thanks for sharing. A reminder for why I do not continue to support that particular magazine.
posted by Fizz at 5:40 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]

It could be worse, I guess. It's certainly vacuous, but at least this Conde Nast profile isn't covered in the blood of thousands of innocents.

What is it with fashionistas that makes them so keen on murderous regimes?
posted by leotrotsky at 5:40 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]

The whole article very much reads like a guy who maybe quit pot, but never really left it. I still have about ten thousand questions about what he actually thought he was getting into with the entire relationship, that I guess wouldn't have been answered directly even if they'd been asked.

I wish we could talk about more than just how crazy it is that designer clothes cost money, for what it's worth. It has been proven time and again that Metafilter has Issues with Fashion, no need to keep trotting off to that well of hilarious jokes about pricey trousers.
posted by padraigin at 5:45 PM on May 5, 2017 [13 favorites]

I'm embarrassed for a specific time in my life where I subscribed to GQ. I was in my mid 20s and I thought I was so cool and hip for being a regular reader.

It's cheaper just to skip to the Style Guy column and then put it back on the magazine shelf at the Barnes & Noble.

Although Glenn O'Brien (RIP) was always just a pale shade to Alan Flusser. Dressing The Man: Mastering the Art of Permanent Fashion is a really great book, though as business dress begins to fade into the horizon it's becoming more of a historical artifact than a functional guide.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:46 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]

GQ does the same thing with the prices of the clothes that nearly every women's magazine does. Welcome to our world.
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:49 PM on May 5, 2017 [39 favorites]

There just really is something splendid about watching solipsism and lack of self awareness being put forth as some kind of media charm offensive. I can't look away (eye patches, YSL, $2,144 (each)).
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:51 PM on May 5, 2017 [9 favorites]

The other thing to concede is that I am afraid this stuff is really what we want from our celebrities.

Well, I mean...duh.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:51 PM on May 5, 2017

Why does anyone pay that much money for pants?

If I was famous like Brad Pitt, I would laugh at the idea of ever having to pay for clothes

Here, Brad is clearly trying to beat Angelina in divorce PR by being the magnanimous one and slightly contrite in a vague way. I hope he succeeds at this; she is the one who went nuclear.
posted by knoyers at 5:52 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

Physics, $125, by Unity
posted by theodolite at 5:54 PM on May 5, 2017 [10 favorites]

I'M SEEING METAPHORS EVERYWHERE NOW HOPE ME
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:55 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

Marina Hyde is just the best.
posted by effbot at 6:01 PM on May 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

Whatever, I liked the pictures of him being dropped on his head in the middle of a desert. I wish they were all pictures of him being dropped on his head in the middle of a desert.
posted by daisystomper at 6:02 PM on May 5, 2017 [24 favorites]

...or a parking lot.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 6:07 PM on May 5, 2017

"You know, I just started therapy. I love it, I love it. I went through two therapists to get to the right one."

Wow, a whole two!? Because it has to be the best for Brad.
posted by DMelanogaster at 6:09 PM on May 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

Are they still skinny jeans if they hang loose on your frame?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:13 PM on May 5, 2017 [8 favorites]

The photos are by Ryan McGinley, whose work I generally adore. I think his schtick is a pretty poor fit here and makes the whole enterprise feel way over-serious, instead of playful which is how his work usually reads to me.
posted by wemayfreeze at 6:15 PM on May 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

"I went through two therapists to get to the right one."

To be fair that's seems like a low number. People looking for a therapist are looking for the right fit for the need, not "the best." So good for him for not giving up after one therapist experience.
posted by datawrangler at 6:17 PM on May 5, 2017 [9 favorites]

God our culture just seems like the worst to me sometimes. From top to bottom. Gah.

And from the other link about fashion's love of brutal despots...
made theirs the "safest country in the Middle East," and want to give Syria a "brand essence."

Isn't that "brand essence" just that whole truthiness thing we do where we exploit people's authentic feelings and redirect them from their own lives and original purposes to sell commercial fantasies and tie them up in emotional/psychological knots so they're easily bullied?

I don't know fashion but I know human dignity and there's not a lot on display in features like this. It's like the pop culture straight up doesn't want us to respect ourselves or other people anymore. Blech. I feel bad for the guy, though, if he actually cared about Jolie and still has the capacity for genuine human feeling. Can't be easy being part of a world where this sort of hot take on viciously destructive divorce with a side of conspicuous consumption passes for healthy grieving or really anything other than tacky as hell.
posted by saulgoodman at 6:18 PM on May 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

It's like the pop culture straight up doesn't want us to respect ourselves or other people anymore.

You don't say... (CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, $9.95).
posted by Joseph Gurl at 6:23 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]

If he really felt (or his agent really felt) that it was necessary to do an interview to drum up sympathy, show his side of the story, or perform whatever function would have redemptive quality for whatever end purpose--what magazine would have been better? (Assuming that he should have done an interview at all.)

Rolling Stone comes to mind.
posted by datawrangler at 6:24 PM on May 5, 2017

Re ragdoll physics, GQ, please do QWOP James Franco next.
posted by zippy at 6:31 PM on May 5, 2017 [24 favorites]

I can't quite articulate why the term "brand essence" makes my very being shudder with revulsion, but even my rational side says there cannot possibly be any positive aspect to it. So, I'm just gonna go ahead and reject it outright.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:40 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]

Eucch - all my worst fears become manifest. Apparently my very being knows what it's about.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:42 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

I can't quite articulate why the term "brand essence" makes my very being shudder with revulsion

...just ask the poor hotel maids who have to strip the bed after Russell checks out.

What?
posted by leotrotsky at 6:49 PM on May 5, 2017 [17 favorites]

This likely means another year of seeing Jennifer Aniston's face every time I buy groceries.
posted by davebush at 7:03 PM on May 5, 2017 [12 favorites]

So has everybody seen Brad Pitt's bit as a stoner in True Romance? A mobster shows up to lean on him, to get him to tell where his buddy is hiding out. Mobster guy is prepared to break some thumbs... but Pitt just starts telling him whatever he wants to know, like it would never occur to him not to--except he's too stoned to give directions; he's too stoned to realize he's ratting out his friend, but he's also too stoned to convey anything successfully...

That's how I prefer to remember Brad Pitt. I'm skeptical that you can be rich, famous, and adored for any length of time without losing the ability to distinguish bullshit from reality. But at one time Brad Pitt may have been an okay guy. (Costco tennis shoes, $19.95)
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:10 PM on May 5, 2017 [15 favorites]

This likely means another year of seeing Jennifer Aniston's face every time I buy groceries.

This is every year
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:15 PM on May 5, 2017 [6 favorites]

Brad's parents' farm and my grandparents' were next to each other. I imagine my grandfather, sleeping on a cot outside amidst the turkeys, catching a wee Brad sneaking into the pen to steal turkey eggs ($12), and winging him with the .22 rifle he kept on hand for foxes and coyotes.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:42 PM on May 5, 2017 [8 favorites]

*Pithy comment about our societal obsession with celebrity, public soul-searching, and fashion (no name sweat pants, $19.95; old comfy T-shirt $25)
posted by nubs at 7:52 PM on May 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

You know, he's an actor. And his wife is an actor. And GQ is a clothing magazine, fundamentally. I know I'm reading this, so I vaguely guess I'm rowing in the same boat as everyone else, but it's all celebrity culture and not worth any serious thought. We seem to regard the private lives of public figures as worthy of discussion, but from time to time I wonder why are we giving it any consideration at all.

We need to bring back the Greek Gods. Now those guys had epic divorce stories.
posted by Peach at 7:53 PM on May 5, 2017 [15 favorites]

Those GQ photos are fucking ridiculous. $750 for a super-loud Hawaiian shirt. Then another Hawaiian shirt blowing away to reveal tattoos that look like he scribbled a tornado on himself with a Sharpie. (Maybe he did, and those aren't real.) Brad kneeling in Grandpa pants pulled up to his nipples. (Just because the dude's just about old enough for AARP doesn't mean you have to dress him like he is.) Brad laying in the sand like he just got hit by a passing car.

The clothes don't even look good. They don't even look good on him, in that "Nobody wears this stuff in real life" fashion shoot kind of way. They look like GQ went shopping in The Dude's closet and pulled out some sweaters.
posted by Autumnheart at 8:10 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]

Twenty bucks for sweat pants?? Elitist.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:11 PM on May 5, 2017 [4 favorites]

You know, he's an actor. And his wife is an actor.

Yeah the idea that the persona Brad is giving to this interviewer is somehow unintentionally candid, that he's not aware of how he's coming across, is naively silly.
posted by straight at 8:50 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]

"I went through two therapists to get to the right one."

We are all ignoring the important questions here.

Is he like a phase spider, or... what were those things that were like wolves or panthers with tentacles on their backs and also could phase? Anyway, when he says he went through two therapists, did he phase out and sort of go *around* them, or did he turn ethereal and sort of interpenetrate them as he actually passed through them?

Or did he just go through them like a knife missile does, thereby discommoding those nearby?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:56 PM on May 5, 2017 [22 favorites]

"Danish cinema has nothing to be ashamed of. I have interviewed both Brad Pitt and Mads Mikkelsen, and Mads is so much smarter."

-- Danish journalist Søren Høy, quoted from memory.
posted by WalkingAround at 9:01 PM on May 5, 2017 [4 favorites]

What he means is he sucked dry their life essence, then dropped a generous cheque on their desiccated husks.
posted by vanar sena at 9:03 PM on May 5, 2017 [4 favorites]

Yeah the idea that the persona Brad is giving to this interviewer is somehow unintentionally candid, that he's not aware of how he's coming across, is naively silly.

If his jaw-dropping vacuousness and narcissism in that interview is somehow calculated then he's an even bigger idiot than I'd have suspected.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 9:04 PM on May 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

1. Why does GQ list the prices of clothes like this (I have seen this before in their articles but I do not read them regularly)?

So we can quantify exactly how much better than us the celebrities are.

2. Why does anyone pay that much money for pants?

Look, if I had infinite money, when I finally found a pair of fucking pants I like, I would pay whatever they asked me for. In the meantime, $70 GAP jeans that only last a year it is and I get at least a little bit of pocket.
posted by maryr at 9:11 PM on May 5, 2017 [4 favorites]

Is he like a phase spider, or... what were those things that were like wolves or panthers with tentacles on their backs and also could phase?

Displacer beasts.

I have no idea what either of us are doing in this thread though.
posted by dragstroke at 9:14 PM on May 5, 2017 [34 favorites]

it's all celebrity culture and not worth any serious thought

sigh.

I mean, I get it. It's cool to shit on anything that isn't super intellectual, the only people who care about celebrity culture are just brain-dead morons, blah blah snide classist blah. But here's the thing: our current culture is so obsessed with celebrity that we just elected a fucking game show host to lead us, and we focus on the spectacle of him every single day the same way other people focus on the Kardashians. Maybe it's not the worst idea for us to examine celeb culture in general, and talk about the ways it influences our lives and our ways of thinking.

To wit: Anne Helen Petersen, MeFi fave, recently scored an interview with Dylan Howard, exec director of American Media. What is American Media? Why, it's the publishers of the National Enquirer, a very pro-Trump media outlet, so pro-Trump that they're one of only two actual publications to endorse him. What did they just do? They just bought Us Weekly, the celeb tabloid magazine. Why does this matter? I mean... that doesn't seem like a hard question to answer, given how concerned we are here about truth in media and fake news and how to get the people so many of us here not-so-secretly think of as useless, blithering human garbage to, like, be smart and think like us, which is so hard because they get their news from sources like the very ones American Media publishes...

Anyway. Anne Helen Petersen, who got her Ph.D. in media studies and wrote her dissertation on the history of the gossip industry, said the following about the interview in her weekly newsletter:

I also managed to convince the editor-in-chief of The National Enquirer to sit down with me and talk about the magazine's Trump coverage (if you haven't noticed it, it's something else) and their recent purchase of Us Weekly. People always ask me if I think getting a PhD (and paying back the student loans from it for the rest of my life) is "worth it" and I'll tell you this: this guy said yes to my request, and gave me the only in-depth interview of the last year, because he'd read my previous gossip work (on TMZ, on In Touch, on People). He knew that I understood the history of all of his publications, and I understand why gossip matters — and how to write about it in a way that makes it very difficult to reject these magazines and their readership as trash. The editor-in-chief also told me some bonkers stats, like the fact that only six percent of the Enquirer's readership gets their news online. SIX PERCENT!

Which is all to say: dissertations on the history of the gossip industry come in handy.

posted by palomar at 9:22 PM on May 5, 2017 [85 favorites]

(editorial director, not exec director.)
posted by palomar at 9:27 PM on May 5, 2017

"I went through two therapists to get to the right one."

Hyperion Shrike
posted by zippy at 9:30 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]

We need to bring back the Greek Gods. Now those guys had epic divorce stories.

Celebrities are the modern-day Greek/Roman gods. Or, conversely, Roman/Greek gods were the celebrity gossip back in the day. I read an article on this connection way back when but I can't seem to find it.
posted by zardoz at 10:01 PM on May 5, 2017 [2 favorites]

Yeah this is definitely not the moment for male divorcing celebrities to do PR offensives. Ben Affleck completely lost to Jennifer Garner, Johnny Depp (wife beater) got destroyed in the press, etc. Brad Pitt is losing the PR battle for sure, but the media moment is friendly to the women leaving, not the men. A contrite, serious, short interview about getting substance abuse treatment was probably the right way to go. (And a far better venue would have been People, and they'd write it serious and flattering for the access.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:50 PM on May 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

pretty vacant. he's so pretty oh so pretty. no feelings.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 12:07 AM on May 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

I rather like the way our society throws something like this out and then someone else fillets it with humour and precision in a national newspaper.
posted by YouRebelScum at 12:56 AM on May 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Here, Brad is clearly trying to beat Angelina in divorce PR by being the magnanimous one and slightly contrite in a vague way. I hope he succeeds at this; she is the one who went nuclear.

Yeah. So he said he was getting the feeling back in his fingers since he quit drinking so I asked the doctor in the house how much you have to drink to lose feeling in your hands (because god knows we lived in wine country for years and I don't know anyone who lost finger control). They said a lot, like a shit ton, like you get most of your calories from alcohol for extended periods. So she must have put up with a lot of bullshit from this guy for a long time and when she was done, she was DONE and I think the world should be supportive of that, quite honestly. Because that's bullshit.
posted by fshgrl at 1:17 AM on May 6, 2017 [47 favorites]

I would never have thought to take that literally.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 1:55 AM on May 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

my favorite movie is the worst-performing film of anything I've done, The Assassination of Jesse James

He's right, can't take that away from him. A hard angular bleak movie to watch, but he's pretty good in it.

I once paid 130 bucks for a t-shirt. Once. I still wake up at nights thinking about all the starving children in ... well, everywhere.
posted by Chitownfats at 2:26 AM on May 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Okay, so I read the Hyde piece first, laughed and thought wow, there's no way the actual piece could measure up. But yes, it really is that bad. In our bleak age, shame is dead.
posted by kinnakeet at 3:40 AM on May 6, 2017

Writing a thought piece on the shortcomings of celebrity culture seems to me to be how educated people give in to their fascination with celebrity culture. A kind of meta outlet.
And then I realised that my own irritation at the meta vapidness of this Guardian article probably is a meta meta outlet for the same human fascination.

I guess we're all wired to observe & analyse & gossip about people around us. And that ancient mechanism gets hijacked by media so that we care about people that don't know us.

Hypocrite lecteur, mon semblable, mon frère.
posted by jouke at 4:21 AM on May 6, 2017 [6 favorites]

And that ancient mechanism gets hijacked by media so that we care about people that don't know us.

People who watch soaps estimate they have more friends than those who don't (I'm never going to be able to track down the source for that factlet). Which is to say, yes, the monkey brain can't tell the difference between actors, adverts and acquaintances.
posted by Leon at 4:42 AM on May 6, 2017 [3 favorites]

I read the Graniaud column yesterday, but didn't get it until I looked at this GQ thing just now. Is he crying in the one picture where he's wearing the pinky red schmatte? I mean, I know, he's human, he quite possibly truly loved/loves his ex-wife, but... this is just weird. I'm uncomfortable with this, calculated or not, and especially with a fashion show shoehorned in. I don't understand the point of him "showing his wounds" to the public like this, in that it's not like the world is going to stop going to Brad Pitt movies. I mean, Mark Wahlberg blinded a man in a racist tirade, and he still gets work. Russell Crowe, as alluded to above, is an awful person and he still has fans and gets work.

I don't know, maybe I'm old school (or maybe having worked in that business for a while gave me a different perspective). I find these kinds of PR displays unseemly. It's one step above the creation of drama that reality TV people do. Just make the damn movies, sheesh.

I wish performing arts people were more, like, Jonny Greenwood-famous. He makes great music with Radiohead and awesome soundtracks. He has a pretty face and lovely cheekbones. That's all I know about him. Entertain me, I'll give you some money, and we both go away happy.
posted by droplet at 4:52 AM on May 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

padraigin: The whole article very much reads like a guy who maybe quit pot, but never really left it. I still have about ten thousand questions about what he actually thought he was getting into with the entire relationship, that I guess wouldn't have been answered directly even if they'd been asked.

fshgrl: she must have put up with a lot of bullshit from this guy for a long time and when she was done, she was DONE and I think the world should be supportive of that, quite honestly.

It fascinates me that ALL THREE of Brad Pitt's public romances have followed this same arc: A driven, successful woman who has ginsu-knifed her way to the top while appearing pleasant and unambitious initiates a lucrative alliance with a man who appears to be an apex predator like herself, only to discover that he is his own facade. He didn't construct himself into a cardboard cutout of a handsome movie star because he wanted to be famous or rich or creative. He became a movie star because he is a cardboard cutout of a handsome movie star. He is a living (possibly), breathing (one assumes!) Maltese Falcon.

Viewed in that light, the fact that Angelina Jolie managed to mold him into an international humanitarian with a sideline in affordable housing while she raised six kids during breaks from the UN is just further proof that I am totally justified in my belief that she is the superhero we all deserve.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 4:58 AM on May 6, 2017 [56 favorites]

Like, of course he is now crying in sand dunes in national parks! Of course sweeping the floor astounds him! It must be very strange to have sprung, fully formed, from Angelina Jolie's unwrinkled brow, vested suddenly with an interior life and a very architectural jaw! What recently-ensouled former mannequin hasn't turned to drink in those circumstances? Which of them has not spent months in isolated sculptural workshops attempting, over and over, to recreate the magic that created them, that by so doing they might understand it? Can one blame them, really, for begging the photographer to take just one more photo, in one more absurd location, in the barely-concealed hope that this fashion shoot will be the one to break the spell, and return them to their previous insentient existence as a handsome stoner who trips every other year and lands in a Rat Pack remake?
posted by Snarl Furillo at 5:13 AM on May 6, 2017 [15 favorites]

How long is that interview? I only read the first few paragraphs.

The photos really were rather weird in parts. And a lot of the clothes were expensive but surprisingly awful.
posted by mary8nne at 5:16 AM on May 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

The best thing in this thread is the Displacer Beast (AD&D, 85 HP)
posted by nickzoic at 5:28 AM on May 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

Words (Devonian, 30p) are (Devonian, 30p) the (Devonian, 30p) clothes (Devonian, 30p) ideas (Devonian, 30p) are (Devonian, 30p) clad (Devonian, 30p) in (Devonian, 30p).

If (Devonian, 30p) journalists (Devonian, 30p) wrote (Devonian, 30p) their (Devonian, 30p) articles (Devonian, 30p) like (Devonian, 30p) this (Devonian, 30p), perhaps (Devonian, 30p) it (Devonian, 30p) would (Devonian, 30p) fall (Devonian, 30p) out (Devonian, 30p) of (Devonian, 30p) fashion (Devonian, 30p).

(On the other hand, if every time you typed Devonian, 30p, you had to add Devonian, 30p to each word... I think we've hit the singularity...)
posted by Devonian at 6:00 AM on May 6, 2017

Devonian, for some reason I'm dying to know: who are you wearing right now?
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 6:10 AM on May 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

I didn't realise Metafilter was that kind of place...

Devonian is wearing The Great Crown Of State (£16m*), an off-the-shoulder leopardskin tunic (Trump Jr Safari Casualwear, Hercules range, £150k), Jesus' Original And Genuine Loincloth (Souk of Jerusalem, 5 shekels) and a darling pair of Jimmy Choo kitten heels (Jimmy Choo, £750).

3 bitcoins to my Memail, or I turn the webcam on.

(* Antiques Roadshow estimate)
posted by Devonian at 6:19 AM on May 6, 2017 [13 favorites]

I've always enjoyed the hell out of Brad Pitt's acting in most of the stuff that I can think of right now barely into enough coffee to clear a hangover (Seven, Thelma and Louise, Fight Club...). I guess I'm supposed to read the interview and snicker or eye-roll but I genuinely feel like I sort of understand a little about the guy, and even though I know fuck-all (or care) about his life or divorce, being in that limbo of not knowing your future with your kids is incredibly painful. Also every interview that Esquire (which I have to assume shares some stylistic DNA with GQ) does ends up sounding so stupid and badly written and precious that I've long since stopped expecting it to be of value, unlike, say, any profile of more than 20 words in the New Yorker.

As for the clothes, well, it it what it is. A well made pair of shoes, or a well constructed shirt, jacket, jeans, etc, can be expensive and having a couple items that broke the bank as it were can really be wonderful, assuming that you have a person you trust to guide you in your purchases. I was never in anything fancier than new Carhartts until a niece's wedding 3 years ago, and dropping some $$ on a nice suit, and some shoes and jeans that I initially felt ridiculous in was one of the best decisions I made in a long time. Learning to dress better wasn't just for me - it was a gesture of respect to my wife and the people who I'm spending time with, and it feels amazing. I never got it until I came out of my self-conscious shell and upped my game, as it were. So yeah, a lot of these clothes look ridiculous, but women routinely spend an inordinate amount of time trying to stay beautiful, there's zero wrong with men trying to bring their A-game. Humans being the shallow creatures we are, sometimes that means a sharp-ass shirt and jeans for going out midweek for a beer with the missus. Don't knock it until you've tried it.
posted by docpops at 6:40 AM on May 6, 2017 [4 favorites]

It must be very strange to have sprung, fully formed, from Angelina Jolie's unwrinkled brow, vested suddenly with an interior life and a very architectural jaw!

I guess celebrities really are the new Greek gods.
posted by infinitewindow at 6:54 AM on May 6, 2017

Are photos of men crying in GQ a recent phenomena? Seems a far cry from the "real men don't cry" culture imposed on me as a child, but I haven't read GQ in a while.
posted by fragmede at 6:55 AM on May 6, 2017

I agree with the substance of the Guardian article which isn't calling out celebrity confessionals and isn't calling out arty fashion shoots which note the designer and price tag. It's calling out this particularly bad celebrity confessional and this kinda weird fashion shoot and the horrific decision to pair them together. It's the work of Brad's agent and the editorial staff involved that are rightly called to account for a final product that is distasteful and why did they not see how obviously bad it had turned out?

I rather like GQ. It has consistently well written features, nearly all of which are posted here on the blue in the course of a month. It taps into a vein of pop culture that I am not embarrassed to say is meaningful to me at this time in my life (good food, interesting books, places to travel, movies I'll never have time to see). It informs how I dress and groom, something I've finally learned to care a little about at the age of 46. And every once in a blue moon there's a picture of a $450 sweater I might like to buy.

And Brad Pitt is actually a great actor who has been in some fantastic films and is at an interesting point in his life.

I think dismissing the whole concept of fashion magazines and celebrity worship is not the point of the article. It's a critique of some people who did a bad job of something they should be expected to be good at and produced a humorously bad result.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:57 AM on May 6, 2017 [9 favorites]

Well, here we are. I (Mark's Work Wearhouse - whatever's on sale) can say that I was aware of, but didn't read either the GQ article/photoshoot or the Guardian takedown, until it got mentioned here in the Blue. (70+ comments so far...)

I also have to confess to usually enjoying Mr Pitt's acting. Let me add to docpop's list "12 Monkeys".

Here's the thing. Most of us adults are aware of today's celebrity 'culture' . Brad seems very conscious of it, ("It's such a silly idea, the idea that the world is fair. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I'm well aware of that. ") and at the same time is a willing and unashamed subject in the system. So, a half-point for a modicum of recognition of his place in the world. Add a point for being interesting. Another for what seems like genuine and not faux self-deprecation. And a full 5 points for being genuinely regretful and not a dick about his divorce, and his role in causing it. The photo shoot? Rich good-looking guy wears Unobtainable Clothes, does Funny Poses in Interesting Places. Would earn a flip-flip-flip-yawn while skimming it 2 years from now in my Dr's office.

The Guardian columnist's response is the other side of the coin. It's a well-written and reasonably on-point critique of the interview and photoshoot, but unlike the offending interview, it is apparently not self-aware of also owing its own existence to the whole celebrity system.

Pretty A-list actor in highly-public personal crisis does expensive photo-shoot and an interview in GQ; erudite columnist launches a clever rip on it. Everyone wins, maybe.
posted by Artful Codger at 7:22 AM on May 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

I hope he succeeds at this; she is the one who went nuclear.

What, precisely, do you mean here? Should she have kept quiet about what an alcoholic he was, when he was doing it in front of the kids? Why is it always women's job to preserve men's reputation no matter how fucked up they are?
posted by corb at 7:59 AM on May 6, 2017 [37 favorites]

Because gossip magazines/newspapers are driven by an ethos of pearl-clutching, scandalized, retrograde, conservatism.
posted by wabbittwax at 9:50 AM on May 6, 2017

Wait, I thought I was not my fucking khakis.
posted by 4ster at 9:52 AM on May 6, 2017 [5 favorites]

I can't square the GQ Style interview with whatever circle of Hell Pitt is probably navigating. Ironically, the only movie of Pitt's that I didn't like was one in which he and his wife co-starred. Maybe that movie actually was a metaphor for their relationship: two highly skilled (spies) in conflict with each other. Never mind that, though. I liked his ex-wife's early movie, in which she was the daughter of a French plantation owner, set in Indochina. I never liked her Tomb Raider stuff for my own (more or less) superficial political reasons.

Stripping the GQ interview of all it's many bells and whistles, though it's not hard to see the bones: after the separation comes the overview, where the self-serving editing begins to come apart; part-time dad and ex-husband, as viewed from one's own petard. You try to get past the recriminations, because even if she should have hers exposed, you still have to deal with those of your own, which your children will inevitably look at with their own eyes, via their own experience. In this circle of Hell you realize that you won't be able to write that plot for them. Those among us who've ridden this particular dragon can find some comfort in trying to do things they won't be ashamed to explain, years down the road, to the kids.

The interview was obscene. Maybe a lofty vision of it is indicative of something, but I don't live in that universe; anymore. For now I'll go with "depressing" and let it go at that.
posted by mule98J at 11:51 AM on May 6, 2017

He became a movie star because he is a cardboard cutout of a handsome movie star.

In fairness, I don't think that is particularly true. He's a good actor and he's very, very savvy at picking both acting and producing projects that are both entertaining and interesting. He's made a huge number of films that will be culturally relevant for a long time and he's been doing it for 30 years. Having said that he's also a middle aged man who's blown up two marriages amidst reports of substance abuse and incredibly furious ex wives. He's good looking, has piles of cash, gorgeous kids, famous friends and he still managed to fuck it all up with two of the most desirable women of his generation. He's a dumbass and no one wants to hear him whine about his dumbassery or try to be artsy about it. Which is why this article is SO laughably, horrifyingly tone deaf and funnybad.

btw, if people think there is no market for clothes like this they need to go overseas. I suggest a tour that include Dubai, Hong Kong and Beijing. There is a huge market for $3000 pants endorsed by Brad Pitt overseas.
posted by fshgrl at 1:43 PM on May 6, 2017 [4 favorites]

I've spent some time in national parks and I can see why he's so miserable. Brad, next time: LLBean $50, North Face $120, Goodwill $6, Camelbak $25 used. And a few Clif bars.
posted by headnsouth at 2:42 PM on May 6, 2017 [7 favorites]

I think it's a brilliant, hilarious piece of satire, sort of in line with the goofy movies he does. Aren't they parodying heroin chic? Good for GQ for publishing it since it's taking a good natured piss at the magazine industry. Makes me want to subscribe to GQ.
posted by gt2 at 3:42 PM on May 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Hahahahahah those pictures are so stupid.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 5:19 PM on May 6, 2017

to datawrangler --

My comment/joke was that Brad ONLY tried out two therapists, but THINKS that's a lot (i.e., makes him special).
posted by DMelanogaster at 5:26 PM on May 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Everything makes him special. He doesn't have to think of reasons for that anymore; it's axiomatic and sits as the foundation of every line of the interview.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:29 PM on May 6, 2017

What do you call it when, instead of overthinking a plate of beans, you instead shit on said plate of beans and then act all smug like you're the next Warhol?
posted by some loser at 9:08 PM on May 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Dunno---somelosering?
posted by Joseph Gurl at 9:22 PM on May 6, 2017

BBC: How Brad Pitt fixed his image problem with one interview

Almost as cynical as the Guardian, except going in the other direction.
posted by Artful Codger at 2:05 PM on May 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

Wait. Hold up. I just realized something mentioned earlier.

my favorite movie is the worst-performing film of anything I've done, The Assassination of Jesse James

Just a moment. Are you telling me that The Assassination of Jesse James did worse than Kalifornia?
posted by maryr at 9:31 PM on May 7, 2017