Cheeky monkeys

June 4, 2017 1:07 AM

Monkeys are stealing tourist's things to barter for food. Clever things.
posted by threetwentytwo (18 comments total)

Monkeys are stealing clever things? Leave your smart devices at home then.
posted by quinndexter at 2:20 AM on June 4, 2017 [5 favorites]

“The monkeys were always trying to steal my hat, my pen, even my research data!”

tenure-track turns everyone ugly
posted by logicpunk at 3:23 AM on June 4, 2017 [39 favorites]

My dad has the greatest monkey stealing things story. He was born in India. When he was about a little over 1 years old, his mother, my grandma, set him in a little baby day bed outside on the patio and she turned to go get something from the kitchen.

So a monkey climbs down from a near by tree, picks up my dad and carries him to the roof.

Panic ensues. So my grandma calls local police and neighbours are outside with blankets and are trying to call the monkey softly, offering food, and prayers.

Apparently after about 15 minutes, this monkey realizes this is not her child and return s my dad back to the day bed.

We like to think that Lord Hanuman had his protective eye out for my dad and that he was blessed in this way. True story.
posted by Fizz at 3:45 AM on June 4, 2017 [121 favorites]

What you've brought me today is worth... hmmm... one. quarter. portion.
posted by Naberius at 5:23 AM on June 4, 2017 [14 favorites]

For anyone wondering. Lord Hanuman is the Hindu monkey-God.
posted by Fizz at 5:24 AM on June 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

I bet Proudhon would've had something to say about this.
posted by clawsoon at 6:09 AM on June 4, 2017

I've been to Uluwatu Temple in Bali. The monkeys are indeed no joke, they're really kind of obnoxious. Most tourists seemed to know the drill and make sure everything they cared about was secure and a few were deliberately interacting with the monkeys. But there were plenty of hilarious occurrences of someone thoughtlessly putting a camera down only to have it snatched away. And then returned, but only after the tourist's driver/guide produced some snack food from his pocket, no doubt brought for this purpose.

Uluwatu is a beautiful temple but the main tourist draw there is the kecak dance, this crazy Hindu story performance. A group of about 100 shirtless men chanting "cak cak cak" in a sort of ecstatic monkey cry. Accompanied with traditional Balinese dancers acting out a story from the Ramayana, complete with Hanuman the monkey god. It seems like base tourist fare, and it sort of is, but it's also fantastically produced and authentic Balinese in both its basic form and its packaging for European tourists. The modern performance dates to the 1930s when a German expat developed an existing ritual into a tourist attraction.
posted by Nelson at 7:23 AM on June 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

I'll flag this post unless I get some crackers!
posted by acheekymonkey at 7:24 AM on June 4, 2017 [30 favorites]

My dog does this with my house slippers. It takes exactly one Milk-Bone treat to get them back.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:18 AM on June 4, 2017 [5 favorites]

They must have just read "The Art of the Deal."
posted by saulgoodman at 9:54 AM on June 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

It's only a matter of time then before the ramifications of the often-joked about decision to have both a Tank Museum and the Monkey World Ape Rescue Center within a mile of each other results in either being the location of the opening move of a primate rebellion, or a place where I can trade some chips for a M48 Patton 3 tank.
posted by chambers at 10:09 AM on June 4, 2017 [5 favorites]

Alternatively, picture a Saturday morning cartoon about a team of plucky international tank-driving commandos who rescue monkeys.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:51 AM on June 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

Apparently after about 15 minutes, this monkey realizes this is not her child and returns my dad back to the day bed.

imagine her embarrassment
posted by roger ackroyd at 12:04 PM on June 4, 2017 [15 favorites]

I hate those monkeys at Monkey World.

When I was about six, I went on a camping weekend with my dad, and we went to Monkey World. I was wearing my new stripey shirt. We strolled around, presumably interested in the various monkeys (and what they were doing in Cornwall, I don't remember), but then it was time a for a talk. We all sat around waiting, and then the monkeys (probably apes, I think) wandered out above us. And one, naturally, having just woken up, urinated loudly and thoroughly, all over me and my new shirt. I can still feel the stickiness and the sorrow.

I have seen photos of me, from later in the day, and it looks like I have another ape of some kind on my lap, and am grooming it, so perhaps it wasn't just an awful time. But I still hate those monkeys from Monkey World.
posted by fizban at 2:45 PM on June 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

Which is all to say, it is no surprise to me that they are stealing. Bastards.
posted by fizban at 2:46 PM on June 4, 2017

This happened to my mom at Uluwatu. One jerk monkey jumped on her head, swiped her glasses off her face in one fluid motion, then bounded off to a tree just on the other side of the stone wall lining the cliff, still within bribing distance. After many peanuts we got them back, but they were completely bent out of shape. Fortunately the lenses were intact and we happened to find frames that fit them exactly.
posted by emeiji at 2:55 PM on June 4, 2017

My dog does this with my good socks. He very quickly figured out that I will give him a treat when I am desperate enough to avoid holes.
posted by rpfields at 5:11 PM on June 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

I spent more time than I care to admit to at the monkey forest sanctuary at Uluwatu while on honeymoon. The monkeys were awesome, but tended to get overfed and grumpy the later in the day it got. We made a point of getting there early doors, and they were a joy - I had monkeys plopping themselves in my lap to get groomed, sat on my shoulders grooming me, mums bringing their babies over to show. Just an all round delight.
posted by bifter at 4:29 AM on June 5, 2017 [2 favorites]