We live in an erotic renaissance that is unprecedented in human history.
June 12, 2017 2:42 PM   Subscribe

Pornhub Is the Kinsey Report of Our Time. 'The streaming sex empire may have done more to expand the sexual dreamscape than Helen Gurley Brown, Masters and Johnson, or Sigmund Freud.' Text article. Possibly NSFW
posted by zarq (63 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite


 
It's interesting that, while she talks about the "fake agent" phenomenon, it's one of the few examples in the article where she doesn't talk about its unfortunate spillover into real life.
posted by clawsoon at 3:08 PM on June 12, 2017 [2 favorites]


Today you can, in a matter of minutes, see more boners than the most orgiastic member of Caligula’s court would see in a lifetime.

Like a boner blipvert
posted by XMLicious at 3:20 PM on June 12, 2017 [10 favorites]


It's always fun to see the "Popular in [your country]" section when one visits PH. Like, little surprise Australia has a thing for "moms" since we're apparently such a nanny state. Certainly we like a lot of utterly vanilla white-girl-on-white-girl stuff since we are completely bereft of innovation and imagination and also constantly worried about our masculinity (since, lacking demographic data, I have to assume the majority of local PH users are male). I guess I am too, because there's nothing quite like a slickly edited boy-on-girl PH clip to make a fellow like me a) feel utterly inadequate and b) be thankful I'm not a huge woman-hating douchebag. Those five minutes are a real journey of emotions.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:23 PM on June 12, 2017 [5 favorites]


Like a boner blipvert

The next big thing is apparently bonerclouds.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:23 PM on June 12, 2017 [9 favorites]


I've never heard of Rule 34 but the concept of "If you can imagine it, there is porn of it" came up in a drunken debate years ago and the best argument against it that we came up with was siamese twin porn. I don't remember if we googled it at the time but there were a few, ah, porn aficionados present, including a couple of girls who had done their own amateur stuff and worked in an adult video store, and they had never heard of it.

So I just tried googling it and the first result was Pornhub, but all I see listed there is identical twin porn.

why the fuck am I even writing this
posted by mannequito at 3:26 PM on June 12, 2017 [30 favorites]


AI-first boners, in the cloud.

(ai4 pun intended)
posted by batter_my_heart at 3:27 PM on June 12, 2017


mannequito, I assure you that as least a few years ago, there existed pro-level Photoshopped conjoined twin pornography.
posted by infinitewindow at 3:35 PM on June 12, 2017 [8 favorites]


You could kind of say that about any aggregartion of porn, couldn't you? Although the internet has made such things easier, I guess.
posted by jonmc at 3:35 PM on June 12, 2017


From where I'm standing, fandoms and their accompanying fan fiction and art have done far, far more to expand the sexual dreamscape. I'm pretty sure that porn hub has no fanciful depictions of Yondu Udonta's genitalia.
posted by LindsayIrene at 3:36 PM on June 12, 2017 [22 favorites]


Of course, this is on The Cut.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 3:38 PM on June 12, 2017


mannequito, maybe not real in the flesh porn, but you could probably find that pretty easily on deviantart.
posted by dilaudid at 3:48 PM on June 12, 2017


AI-first boners, in the cloud.

Roko's Bonerlisk.
posted by ejs at 3:50 PM on June 12, 2017 [8 favorites]


It's always a little odd to see a discourse about how porn on the web looks that ignores Insex, particularly when it mentions Kink, which would not exist or look like it does today if Insex hadn't first existed and then been extralegally shut down by the Justice Department using the Patriot Act to claim they were funding terrorists.

Before the internet, there was a broad consensus among print and video porn publishers about what was and wasn't acceptable. These guidelines were mostly driven by privately solicited legal advice as to how to avoid product seizures and prosecutions by sheriffs and other officials in podunk venues. The result was a very uniform set of rules observed consistently across the print industry, which you learned in detail if you wanted to work making content for them. The rules were slightly different in Canada, and they were different for print and visual media.

In 1997 a guy named Brent Scott was having a bit of a midlife crisis, had just crashed his marriage, and was pretty much out of fucks to give, and he realized that there was basically no mechanism in place to stop him from publishing whatever the fuck he wanted. You can't seize a website as it's being delivered to Hicksville, Alabama, and it's pretty hard to even show in court that you did something on the Internet from New York that's illegal in Hicksville. Scott was apparently the first person to enthusiastically pitch all the previous rules for print porn overboard and a lot of people took note.

The documentary Graphic Sexual Horror is well worth a look even if you aren't into BDSM. At its peak in 2005 Insex had 120,000 members paying USD$60 a month for access. There were no a la carte sales; if you joined you got access to everything. You can multiply the membership by the fee and see how much money Insex was making when the Justice Department made it impossible for them to get credit cards processed. Insex didn't stop at showing the stuff you couldn't show on the printed page or VHS; he had live feeds with web audience participation and online forums where the models participated and suggestions for future scenes were taken and implemented. It was a whole new model of how to do porn and it was immensely successful despite never spending a single penny on advertising.

Peter Acworth already had Kink.com up by this time, and he saw the writing on the wall, so he went to his credit card processors and told them the letter was coming, and asked what he needed to do to let them continue enjoying the color of his money. The result is the infamously detailed modern Kink model contract, which is loaded with specifications and requirements. There has to be a pre- and post- scene interview so we can see the model is willing and understands what is about to happen and is OK afterward, the shoot has to stop if she starts crying or for a host of other reasons, and while penetration (as with fucking machines) is permitted, actual penis-in-vagina or "PIV" sex is not when the woman is restrained.

This is the reason for Acworth's cryptic comment in the documentary Kink (which is available on Netflix DVD) where he complains about "the billers." The billers are the credit card people who tell them what they can and can't show. The billers are why there's no tentacle porn, because the billers say it's bestiality even though it's animated fantasy. That documentary includes the comment, but elides the reason why the billers are an issue.

Acworth saved the BDSM porn industry; many of the smaller players which existed at the time, including Brent Scott of the suddenly defunct Insex, now work for him as part of Kink. He may have saved the rest of the porn industry at the same time; there was a sense at the time that after their triumphant routing of Insex that Justice would work their way down the whole food chain, and Acworth pretty much stopped them cold. I think it's a pretty interesting story, even if as my wife likes to say he saved the industry by "taking all the fun out of it."
posted by Bringer Tom at 3:59 PM on June 12, 2017 [99 favorites]


I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Siamese twin redheads humping the shoulders of a guy named Orion. I watched clingfilm glitter on Roy Orbison near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like... wait, let me find a different falling droplets mental image.
posted by delfin at 4:03 PM on June 12, 2017 [63 favorites]


mannequito, maybe not real in the flesh porn, but you could probably find that pretty easily on deviantart.

as far as I remember in the context of our ten-ish year old drunken debate, it had to be real, not photoshopped/cgi'd/simulated; also I don't want to personally watch it, just know if it exists

Siamese twin redheads humping the shoulders of a guy named Orion.

ok wait , I do kinda want to see that
posted by mannequito at 4:09 PM on June 12, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure clingfilm Roy Orbison was posted to the blue at some point...
Oh look, three times.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 4:12 PM on June 12, 2017 [6 favorites]


wait, let me find a different falling droplets mental image.

Spurts of cum in the shower?

Sorry I couldn't help myself there.
posted by Bringer Tom at 4:16 PM on June 12, 2017


Fake Agent, et al. is a phenomenon, but I feel like Property Sex with it's porn meets HGTV shtick combined with anxiety about housing is the 2010s porn par excellence.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 4:37 PM on June 12, 2017 [14 favorites]


I have no idea if this article is still true or not, but it feels like Rule 34 running in reverse somehow.
posted by nubs at 5:32 PM on June 12, 2017


"a rotary-operated ass-tapper that resembles a pump-jack oil rig" has a certain kind of poetry to it, or at least a certain rhythm. nudge nudge
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:39 PM on June 12, 2017 [1 favorite]


It's practically Kipling.

(If Kipling is a verb now, I don't need to know what it means).
posted by Pallas Athena at 6:10 PM on June 12, 2017 [3 favorites]


Don't know, I've never Kipled.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:14 PM on June 12, 2017 [15 favorites]


[checks Urban Dictionary]

Hmm... well... this is a little weak as far as multiple definitions and thumbs up go, but there you are...
posted by clawsoon at 6:45 PM on June 12, 2017 [1 favorite]


I think everyone has their peak rule 34 moment, for me it was seeing giant furries that fuck buildings with wangers the size of subway cars.

That was a thing.
posted by Sebmojo at 7:03 PM on June 12, 2017 [3 favorites]


"Porn is a theater of the id, and America’s id is racist."

I like this writer.
posted by pretentious illiterate at 7:16 PM on June 12, 2017 [11 favorites]


Do You Like Kipling? I Don’t Know; I’ve Never Kippled Before

In 1971 a syndicated newspaper article from the Guinness Book of World Records organization remarked on the popularity of McGill’s postcard [BGDM]:

The top-selling post card of all time is reputed to be a drawing by Donald McGill (1875-1962) with the caption: He: “How do you like Kipling?” She: “I don’t know, you naughty boy, I’ve never Kippled.” It sold about 6,000,000. Between 1904 and his death McGill sold more than 350,000,000 cards to users and deltiologists (picture post card collectors).

posted by ovvl at 7:51 PM on June 12, 2017 [23 favorites]


I love the writing in this, especially the parentheticals:

(In other words: a way to have your taboo-flavored creampie and eat it, too.)

(Chain-saw-like machines lined with tongues are also popular.)
posted by Dip Flash at 8:07 PM on June 12, 2017


has...a certain kind of poetry to it, or at least a certain rhythm. nudge nudge
more like nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge...
posted by j_curiouser at 9:31 PM on June 12, 2017


has...a certain kind of poetry to it, or at least a certain rhythm. nudge nudge
more like nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge...


Say no mo'! (No, really, say no more...)
posted by Philofacts at 9:41 PM on June 12, 2017


"Today you can, in a matter of minutes, see more boners than the most orgiastic member of Caligula’s court would see in a lifetime."

Wait, chat roulette is still a thing?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:35 PM on June 12, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'd like to thank PornHub for showing me the exact moment I went from "straight guy with low sex drive" to "total asexual". I do occasionally drop by there just to make sure that nothing that used to turn me on has returned, but all I seem to notice lately is a scary large percentage of clips with incest themes. The majority use the weasel words "step-father/mother/sister/brother" but the message is frighteningly clear. Apparently too much of America is creeping out on its closest blood relatives as much as Donald Trump.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:00 PM on June 12, 2017 [5 favorites]


Oh no, foop. Now you've done it. Now there will be Trump porn.
posted by loquacious at 11:38 PM on June 12, 2017


Roko's Bonerlisk.

Wienermute.
posted by fleacircus at 12:04 AM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]


fanciful depictions of Yondu Udonta's genitalia.
Roko's Bonerlisk.
Insex


I'm so happy I have no idea what you're talking about. And that's a benefit of age. At 25, I would have raced to look these things up, but after a few Goatses, yeah I'm good. I can be ignorant and unhip and that's OK.
posted by msalt at 12:11 AM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]


Fake Agent, et al. is a phenomenon, but I feel like Property Sex with it's porn meets HGTV shtick combined with anxiety about housing is the 2010s porn par excellence.

Related, SFW
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:23 AM on June 13, 2017


Related

Our Searches, Ourselves
posted by chavenet at 1:28 AM on June 13, 2017


My favorite rule 34 moment was at a gathering of friends and I said "cardboard" and within 10 minutes someone had found a porn drawing involving cardboard boxes fucking.
posted by hippybear at 2:24 AM on June 13, 2017 [9 favorites]


cardboard boxes

Insert "this end up" joke here.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:47 AM on June 13, 2017 [7 favorites]


I think everyone has their peak rule 34 moment, for me it was seeing giant furries that fuck buildings with wangers the size of subway cars.

I put it that it would be weirder with just wangs at normal human size.
posted by solarion at 3:24 AM on June 13, 2017 [5 favorites]


Thing is I could imagine that being either giant furries with huge dongs who are fucking buildings, or giant furries fucking buildings that themselves have huge dongs. It's like I don't know which nightmares to have.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:02 AM on June 13, 2017 [3 favorites]


I have yet to find a single example online of little people gay bears fucking, therefore either Rule 34 is bullshit, or little people gay bears have sufficient dignity and modesty to eschew sharing their escapades online.

Hell, I even have a cute name for the topic—Boo Boo porn.

The internet continues to disappoint me.
posted by sonascope at 5:58 AM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]


Saying what we currently have is an erotic renaissance is like saying Michael Bay is a great filmmaker.
posted by srboisvert at 7:00 AM on June 13, 2017 [7 favorites]


Saying what we currently have is an erotic renaissance is like saying Michael Bay is a great filmmaker.

PornHub, Michael Bay, and McDonalds. Billions Served
posted by Thorzdad at 7:07 AM on June 13, 2017 [2 favorites]


I thought my taste in porn was adventurous until the last ex. The stuff she watched half the time was fucked up, and now everything seems vanilla. I should get a subscription to kink.com or something
posted by iffthen at 7:31 AM on June 13, 2017


OK, I got curious and went to Pornhub, and Thumbzilla too (I suspect they're the same content offered via a different search engine & presentation layout). I tried some of the stranger things I know are a thing with some people, and got maybe 50% success rate. There are still things out there that Pornhub either doesn't know about or bother to host or video porn doesn't exist for yet.
posted by King Sky Prawn at 7:55 AM on June 13, 2017


Apparently too much of America is creeping out on its closest blood relatives as much as Donald Trump.

I don't have any stats onhand to back this up, but there's also been a huge inswing of weird sibling-sex in general TV series. I know it goes back further, but I still blame Game of Thrones for sparking the current conflagration of family-banging.
posted by FatherDagon at 8:30 AM on June 13, 2017


Luckily at my work, our browser behavior is not monitored, so I just went to PornHub. I've definitely visited porn sites before, I'm not trying to pretend to be some sort of babe in the woods here, but it's been awhile.

Almost all of the content it showed to me on the PornHub homepage was related to families. Step moms, step brothers, step sisters. Is this because I'm in the United States? And doesn't this skew the results by country, if all I'm seeing are step-this and step-that, won't I just click on one of those items and thus reinforce that Americans like inter-family pornography?
posted by cell divide at 10:17 AM on June 13, 2017


Oh no, foop. Now you've done it. Now there will be Trump porn

I tend to be the one that goes on heart of darkness journeys across the Cannot Unsea and my dude I have terrible news for you.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:08 AM on June 13, 2017 [12 favorites]


I tend to be the one that goes on heart of darkness journeys across the Cannot Unsea and my dude I have terrible news for you.

LA LA LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU
posted by loquacious at 11:25 AM on June 13, 2017


“How do you like Kipling?” She: “I don’t know, you naughty boy, I’ve never Kippled.”

"Do you like Dickins?" "I don't know, I've never been to one."
posted by Devonian at 12:47 PM on June 13, 2017


Also, a comment on the "furries have weird kinks" angle:

Most furries I know put down their formative experiences to cartoons - that's the media most likely to display anthropomorphic animals, and probably the first one a given child will see. But cartoons do not reflect sexuality like live television shows might. For one, they're kid-targeted - anything egregious would probably be censored. And cartoon characters often relate to each other in a stylized way.

So the things with an appropriate power dynamic that also get imprinted this way are unusual - being transformed, flattened, made giant, eaten, or blown up like a balloon. (Watch some Looney Tunes and make a checklist.) And these will not show up on Pornhub because frankly they are impossible in the physical world.
posted by solarion at 2:18 PM on June 13, 2017 [2 favorites]


metafilter: heart of darkness journeys across the Cannot Unsea
posted by Bringer Tom at 4:23 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]


I actually enjoy some of the mother/ son porn. Not because of the incest angle, which is always fake anyways, but because there's usually a gentleness and sensuality missing from regular porn. The older woman almost always has a level of control too, which is often missing from the stuff with young women.

I've also discovered an outfit with the silly name of "Desperate Amateurs" which has me thinking about paying for porn for the first time in my life. In the clips shown on the free sites, Desperate Amateurs features women of all different shapes and sizes. Most of whom look a bit nervous and awkward being there. And then the men do everything they can to make the woman feel comfortable, happy, and pleasured. At least in the clips, there's a happiness and playfulness which is missing from most of professional porn.
posted by honestcoyote at 4:42 PM on June 13, 2017


I tend to be the one that goes on heart of darkness journeys across the Cannot Unsea and my dude I have terrible news for you.

You know what, that goddamn comment just made me imgagine Ron Jeremy in a wig covered in orange greasepaint, and now I can't fucking unthink it.
Goddamn you. Goddamn you all to Hell.
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 5:24 PM on June 13, 2017 [2 favorites]


... being transformed, flattened, made giant, eaten, or blown up like a balloon ... And these will not show up on Pornhub because frankly they are impossible in the physical world
Challenge accepted! All these return relevant search results (videos obviously using special effects):
Giantess
Body expansion
Vore

Extra Credit
Monster
Alien
Ghost
posted by King Sky Prawn at 7:50 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]


WRT the mention of Insex and Kink.com above: previously on the blue, and previouslier.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:02 PM on June 13, 2017


ROU_Xenophobe > Thing is I could imagine that being either giant furries with huge dongs who are fucking buildings, or giant furries fucking buildings that themselves have huge dongs. It's like I don't know which nightmares to have.

I've spent a lot of time on Furaffinity and I don't think I've ever seen the latter. I've seen my share of the former, but I've never seen the latter.

I have seen giant furries with huge dongs fucking buildings, with their dong going straight through the building so that it kinda looks like the building has a huge dong. But I have never seen giant furries fucking extremely well-hung buildings.

I'm trying to decide if I'm stoned enough to draw this.
posted by egypturnash at 8:07 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]


I was stoned enough. [NSFW, probably requires Furaffinity login for first link]

You're welcome, Xeny.
posted by egypturnash at 8:28 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Giant furries with huge dongs fucking buildings, with their dong going straight through the building so that it kinda looks like the building has a huge dong.
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 8:32 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]


I think that the lack of "rarer desires" on pornhub has more to do with the tastes of the people who use it. It's the ultimate bubble.

More mainstream stuff is going to be posted, and liked or reposted or whatever. Amplification of the mean.

There's still lots of mainstream stuff that isn't available on pornhub; being perhaps the gateway to free pornography on the internet, sampling issues really come into play.

Sexuality on AOL vs Usenet.
posted by porpoise at 8:38 PM on June 13, 2017


Sexuality on AOL vs Usenet.

sz * alt.binaries.pictures.erotica
posted by Justinian at 10:06 PM on June 13, 2017


I got a lot more actual sex from AOL than Usenet.
posted by Devonian at 10:29 PM on June 13, 2017


Mailing list contacts and chat rooms. So much sex.
posted by hippybear at 2:36 AM on June 15, 2017


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