When the corner of your shower floor isn't easily accessible
June 19, 2017 10:47 AM   Subscribe

The best places to cry in New York, mapped. Most of them are even free.
posted by Mchelly (31 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
2 Ikea

I for one have my meltdown as soon as I hear a trip to Ikea is planned.
posted by sammyo at 10:50 AM on June 19 [6 favorites]


This would have been REALLY useful to me in 2004.
posted by elsietheeel at 11:07 AM on June 19 [2 favorites]


I totally cried on the Staten Island ferry in 2005.
posted by Annika Cicada at 11:10 AM on June 19


Not mentioned, but Riverside Park has a lot of benches that face the river instead of the park, so you can sit with your back to everyone and WATCH THE RIVER, YEAH, I'M JUST WATCHING THE RIVER (so what if there are trees in the way and also the West Side Highway so you can't actually see the water ? okay fine I'm watching the highway, WHATEVER)
posted by Mchelly at 11:11 AM on June 19 [6 favorites]


I've never been to this particular Ikea, but I concur with sammyo — it's incredible how much time and emotional energy can be expended in a single shopping visit.
posted by Songdog at 11:35 AM on June 19


This is amazing, Mchelly. Thank you. Here's a handkerchief.
posted by Songdog at 11:36 AM on June 19 [2 favorites]


I figured most of them would be bars.
posted by jonmc at 11:45 AM on June 19 [3 favorites]


I just opened the link to make sure the G train was on the list
posted by Automocar at 12:27 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]


a true connoisseur may be able to add which are best for which types of crying, as in "Jesus if somebody in this wide world would just say a word I could decide not to die" vs. "please God nobody notice me, please God don't anybody look"
posted by Countess Elena at 12:47 PM on June 19 [8 favorites]


I always just have my cries in the Post Office at 23rd and Lex. No one ever seems to notice, except the one time a postal dude let me cut in front of everyone waiting, presumably to avoid embarrassing everyone. The people who were in front of me on line just looked at their shoes and so on.
posted by holborne at 12:56 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]


Paul Milstein Reflecting Pool in Hearst Plaza at Lincoln Center, during off hours. The pool is behind Avery Fisher Hall and in front of the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts. At 65th Street. There are benches nearby.

It's incredibly quiet and peaceful late at night.
posted by zarq at 1:00 PM on June 19 [1 favorite]


Also, don't cry on the 7 train. A friend whose boyfriend had just dumped her took the 7 home from the city one night, and while sobbing into a soggy tissue she got yelled at by a random older woman in Cantonese for her "shameful behavior."
posted by zarq at 1:07 PM on June 19 [7 favorites]


I like how the first related map listed is "Where to find affordable housing in NYC."
posted by bendy at 1:17 PM on June 19 [3 favorites]


If you decide to cry in the Greenwood Cemetery you can also watch the flock of Quaker parrots that live there. Who knows, they might even cheer you up?
posted by Splunge at 1:19 PM on June 19


Just go to Strawberry Fields in Central Park and everyone will think you just really loved John.
posted by rocket88 at 1:35 PM on June 19 [2 favorites]


Just go to Strawberry Fields in Central Park and everyone will think you just really loved John.

No! Someone might see me!
posted by elsietheeel at 2:30 PM on June 19


Just go to Strawberry Fields in Central Park and everyone will think you just really loved John
Yeah, not so great for crying. Last time I was there, a really loud guy who called himself "Idiot the Rapper" was yelling "what would you do if I killed Ringo too" to the tune of A Little Help From My Friends.
posted by chococat at 2:42 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]


No Trump Tower?

...just sayin'.
posted by delfin at 3:20 PM on June 19


For some reason museums are where I did most of my crying the last time I was there. MoMA and the Met both have great spots to get lost and cry for a while, and you can always blame it on the art. It's harder to be alone at the Guggenheim, but if I recall correctly, somehow I still managed it. Fucking Mondrian, giving me all those feels.

A++ would cry again will probably cry again at some point.
posted by limeonaire at 3:25 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]


a true connoisseur may be able to add which are best for which types of crying, as in "Jesus if somebody in this wide world would just say a word I could decide not to die" vs. "please God nobody notice me, please God don't anybody look"

It's NYC, it's all the latter.
posted by praemunire at 3:45 PM on June 19 [2 favorites]


I was (I thought quietly) crying on the subway once and a stranger silently handed me her pack of tissues as she got off the train. I still can't decide if it was a moment of profound grace, or a huge invasion of privacy. I was glad to have them, but I've certainly never had the guts to pay it forward.
posted by Mchelly at 3:48 PM on June 19 [7 favorites]


My car is where I cry and scream when I need to. It's my own private emotion box. I've been caught at it once or twice and I didn't give a fuck. Fuck you. It's my emotion box. I'll cry and scream if I want to.
posted by Fizz at 3:52 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]


Car?
posted by holborne at 6:10 PM on June 19 [9 favorites]


Bronx Zoo, Queens County Farm Museum, the parking lot of the Staten Island Mall... no place where people might attribute your tears to the smell? Crying foul.

(See also pet peeve #1,549: Any "NYC" list that's actually "Manhattan + Brooklyn, with token other borough shout-out.")
posted by Iris Gambol at 6:14 PM on June 19 [1 favorite]


Now I am crying as there is no IKEA anywhere near me to cry in.

Also, no consolation meatballs.
posted by Samizdata at 7:39 PM on June 19 [1 favorite]


I'm way the fuck out here in Kew Gardens at Dani's House of Pizza and I'm crying because this slice is so damn good alright

yes i'm crying about the pizza that's definitely the only reason



you happy goddammit now leave me alone
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 12:57 AM on June 20 [4 favorites]


Mchelly: I have absolutely no idea why, but your comment brought unexpected tears to my eyes. I would say it was a gesture of simple and/or profound grace.
posted by she's not there at 1:25 AM on June 20 [5 favorites]


I had a travel meltdown (excitement, logistics, the fleetingness of time and a spouse who sometimes annoys me by not being able to read my mind, that monster) in the Egyptian collection at the Met. i just sat, weeping, by the the angled floor-to-ceiling windows for a good 20 minutes. It was quiet, peaceful and nearly empty - anyone who passed me never gave me any indication that they noticed.
posted by champagneminimalist at 1:52 AM on June 21 [1 favorite]


Best place IMO is the Fireman's Memorial at 100th and Riverside. Quiet, secluded and pretty. I walked by someone crying there many years ago and there's no way I would've bothered them.

But for fuck's sake, please no crying in the Bryant Park bathrooms. People just wanna pee, and then they gotta look at your ugly emotional shit. Are you fucking kidding?
posted by fungible at 6:10 AM on June 21


USS Intrepid, surely? The Dry I. Its ironic! No, you're emotional!
posted by Molesome at 8:34 AM on June 21


> I was (I thought quietly) crying on the subway once and a stranger silently handed me her pack of tissues as she got off the train. I still can't decide if it was a moment of profound grace, or a huge invasion of privacy

I've done that (probably not to you) and it made me feel like a Good Person. I hope the person who I handed them to didn't feel worse because of what I did.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:47 AM on June 23 [1 favorite]


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