Did the Molotov cocktails come in sippy cups?
June 29, 2017 6:47 AM   Subscribe

 
If I were one of those competitors, I'd commemorate the occasion by creating a Bouncy Hindenburg and paying one of his neighbors a lot of money to let me put it in their front yard for a month.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:53 AM on June 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


Some mechanical bulls were harmed in the making of this story.
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:21 AM on June 29, 2017 [3 favorites]


Clearly, they need to store their bouncy castles inside the keep of another, larger bouncy castle. The molotovs would just bounce right off and hit the attackers in the face.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:24 AM on June 29, 2017 [3 favorites]


The defendant was apprehended after a brief exchange of seltzer fire.
posted by jonmc at 7:29 AM on June 29, 2017 [3 favorites]


There's a Shakes The Clown sequel in this story.
posted by ocschwar at 7:33 AM on June 29, 2017 [4 favorites]


I really have nothing more to say than:

Wow. That is fucked up.
posted by notsnot at 7:41 AM on June 29, 2017 [1 favorite]


No offense*, but I kind of figured this happened in Australia before I clicked the link.

(* I want to live in Australia more than just about anywhere except where I already am, so please keep that in mind when judging me here.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:51 AM on June 29, 2017 [3 favorites]


I think all the spider venom eventually drives them mad.
posted by Naberius at 8:00 AM on June 29, 2017 [4 favorites]


In their defense, they only started firebombing after the bouncy trebuchet research team all flew off radar somewhere over the Pacific.
posted by PlusDistance at 8:04 AM on June 29, 2017 [1 favorite]


From what I can figure with Australia as an outsider learning about the country from TV and newspapers -

Australia is hot. It is fuck off hot. It's the kind of hot that makes everyone really angry about how hot it is. It's like hungry and angry making people hangry, only it's hot and angry.

And so everything is hot and angry, and then Australia is filled with things trying to kill them. Lots of poisonous plants, animals with venom, animals that are just like, "It's so hot I need to kill a motherfucker." And they can't go in the water to cool off, because there's stuff in there that will kill you in ways that really hurt and don't always encourage open casket funerals.

So you get this heat and everything trying to kill them, and it results in things like bouncy castles being fire bombed because everything is terrible and we're all dying anyway.

I suspect that this is how outsiders view our Florida and Texas.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 8:21 AM on June 29, 2017 [12 favorites]


I suspect that this is how outsiders view our Florida and Texas.

Outsiders?
posted by Thorzdad at 8:51 AM on June 29, 2017 [15 favorites]


I thought this was going to be a light-hearted story about some kid bringing firecrackers into a bouncy castle. Oh, the hijinks those kids get up to!
posted by yhbc at 9:08 AM on June 29, 2017


We have Bavaria, which is like Texas with Lederhosen...

But yeah, between Great Avocado Raids and cunning Maple Syrup Heists, of course, the domination of the bouncy castle racket has to be determined by Molotov Cocktails, (and no, nobody is thinking about the mechanical bulls).

I'm not sure, yet, if we are living in Truly Awesome Times, or if it's just The End of The World As We Know It. But, well, bring it on, it's funny.
posted by ojemine at 9:14 AM on June 29, 2017


You might be on to something, 80 Cats in a Dog Suit. As anyone listening to the news in the US lately has probably heard, Arizona gets stupidly hot in the summer (and while we're no Australia, we don't lack venomous spiders, scorpions, and snakes--plus we have mountain lions and bears). And we have our own small business/big crime story that went down here a few years back.

When I moved to Tucson in 2010, I quickly learned of a little carne asada shop inside a gas station next to the university campus. The place, Mr. Antojo's, was really a hidden gem--the meat was cooked to order right in front of you, you could get all kinds of extra stuff in your burrito, and it was reasonably cheap to boot. In most places, "I'm getting a burrito from the gas station for lunch" is among the more depressing sentences one could utter, but not here. The owner also ran a well-regarded Sonoran hot dog cart somewhere else in the city. The Sonoran dog is a hot dog wrapped in bacon and put in a big, fluffy bun, then smothered in beans, onions, tomatoes, salsa, etc. It's one of the better regional hot dog styles, if you ask me, and definitely a well-known piece of local culture--there are "n Best Sonoran Dogs" lists in the local papers regularly, internet debates on the merits of various hot dog stands, and so on.

Anyway, in 2011 the owner of the restaurant that made the Sonoran dog famous, El Guero Canelo, received a threatening letter demanding that he leave $600,000 in cash at a particular commercial trash bin. Over the following weeks, he received more letters with various demands, culminating in one threatening to kill a member of his family should he fail to pay. So FBI agents placed a weighted bag in the trash bin and watched to see if anyone would come to pick it up.

Six minutes after the drop, the owner of Mr. Antojo's arrived and was promptly arrested. He was sentenced to 41 months in federal prison for extortion, which I guess means he's out now. No sign of a return to the business, as far as I've seen.

I'll miss his carne asada.
posted by egregious theorem at 10:22 AM on June 29, 2017 [5 favorites]


I'm surprised the bouncy castles were firebombed so easily. Where were the bouncy knights? Where were the bouncy musketeers? You can't rely on anyone these days.
posted by storybored at 12:22 PM on June 29, 2017 [4 favorites]


A little reminiscent of the Ice Cream Wars.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 12:39 PM on June 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


Where were the bouncy knights?

Out looking for the bouncy Grail.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:00 PM on June 29, 2017 [3 favorites]


On their bouncy horses cocoanuts.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2017 [1 favorite]


It's so draining to hear, in every thread about Australia, a bunch of ignorant, clichéd, tired, unoriginal jokes about my country.

I can't help wonder how American mefites would feel if every other thread about America had 1/3 to 1/2 of the comments being jokes about gun nut Americans eating junk food etc.

I'd love it if we could be better, even in jokey threads.
posted by smoke at 2:23 PM on June 29, 2017 [5 favorites]


We elected Donald Trump president. Are we supposed to have some claim to dignity or something?
posted by Naberius at 2:31 PM on June 29, 2017 [5 favorites]


I can't help wonder how American mefites would feel if every other thread about America had 1/3 to 1/2 of the comments being jokes about gun nut Americans eating junk food etc.

Most of those threads already do consist of those jokes. Shoot, just go check out the GOOP/Infowars thread if you don't believe me.
posted by aramaic at 4:05 PM on June 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


Mass arson sure seems like overkill here. Couldn't they have achieved the same result just walking around the warehouse with a large pin?
posted by sexyrobot at 4:32 PM on June 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


I'm not sure it is fair to call this an Australian thing. When I was a kid (many decades ago) I used to read about the food truck wars in San Jose, California. It was basically the same thing--everyone's food truck would mysteriously go up in flames except for those owned by this one company.

Now days, the amount and variety of food trucks in the area is almost insanse, so somewhere along the line the problem must have been resolved.
posted by eye of newt at 9:29 PM on June 29, 2017


  A little reminiscent of the Ice Cream Wars.

Which inspired the criminally-underrated film Comfort and Joy. Whenever I'm feeling homesick for pre-gentrification Glasgow, I watch it again.
posted by scruss at 5:58 AM on June 30, 2017


Australia is hot. It is fuck off hot. It's the kind of hot that makes everyone really angry about how hot it is. It's like hungry and angry making people hangry, only it's hot and angry.

I'm sitting here in Melbourne, where most of these firebombings happened, and trying not to laugh at this statement. It was 0 Celsius when I woke up this morning. Melbourne can be hot, but it can also be bloody cold.

I'm not bothered by the jokey threads, but I am a bit... feeling like I don't belong here at Metafilter because of comments like this:

I suspect that this is how outsiders view our Florida and Texas.
posted by daybeforetheday at 5:28 PM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


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