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June 30, 2017 4:17 PM   Subscribe

Rolling Stone recently released their list of the top 100 metal albums of all time, and it is perhaps the least horrifyingly wrong top-whatever list ever created.

Their list correctly excludes bands that are more hard-rock than metal, so you will have to look elsewhere for lists with AC/DC, as toe-tappin' and awesome as they are, and Guns 'n' Roses, just like you'd look at a different top-whatever list to see where Michael Jackson or Johnny Cash were.

The top 25 are:

1. Black Sabbath, Paranoid
2. Metallica, Master of Puppets
3. Judas Priest, British Steel
4. Iron Maiden, The Number of the Beast
5. Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath
6. Slayer, Reign in Blood
7. Motörhead, No Remorse (aka the one wif Ace of Spades)
8. Megadeth, Peace Sells... But Who's Buying?
9. Ozzy, Blizzard of Ozz
10. Pantera, Vulgar Display of Power
11. Metallica, Ride the Lightning
12. Judas Priest, Screaming for Vengeance
13. Iron Maiden, Iron Maiden
14. Black Sabbath, Vol. 4
15. Ozzy, Diary of a Madman
16. Dio, Holy Diver
17. Mercyful Fate, Melissa
18. Tool, Ænima
19. Megadeth, Rust in Peace
20. Anthrax, Among the Living
21. Metallica, And Justice for All
22. Mötley Crüe, Too Fast for Love
23. Danzig, Danzig
24. Rage Against the Machine, Rage Against the Machine
25. Metallica, Metallica

See what I mean? It's not like it's right or correct... but it doesn't make me vomit with rage.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe (127 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
 
Wait.
Guns 'n' Roses isn't metal, but Mötley Crüe is?
posted by scaryblackdeath at 4:24 PM on June 30, 2017 [19 favorites]


Yes. Being wildly wrong is how listicle clickbait works. themoreyouknow.gif

(...and hailing albums half a century old as the greatest of all time while paying minor lip service to just a couple from no more recently than the nineties is how Rolling Stone works.)
posted by Sys Rq at 4:26 PM on June 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


Evanescence Is on this list?

Then again I scroll down and Body Count is on this list so yay.
posted by Artw at 4:31 PM on June 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


I have no real problem with this list (I would have 'Leviathan' by Mastodon a lot higher than #46 though....).

GIven that I haven't really listened to much metal since about 2005, I take that to mean that there is something drastically wrong with the list.
posted by 256 at 4:36 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


I agree with Sys Rq on the ridiculous slant toward 20th century albums here. That's only compounded by their questionable sense of what is and isn't metal.

I fucking love Def Leppard (maybe not quite as much as the shuffle on my iTunes seems to), I saw them live at least twice and they're awesome... but if you're telling me Def Leppard is metal while leaving out so many great recent bands like Shinedown, the Pretty Reckless, or Halestorm? Come the fuck on.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 4:39 PM on June 30, 2017 [5 favorites]


Giving a shit about the opinions of Rolling Stone, or giving a shit about the Grammys: Which is less metal? It's a question for the ages.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 4:40 PM on June 30, 2017 [28 favorites]


At number 100, Avenged Sevenfold's City of Evil has to be pushing out a worthier album.
posted by Cookiebastard at 4:41 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


(I want to state for the record that this was a nice find regardless of my grumpypantsing all over it and I'm sorry if I come off as attacking ROU_Xenophobe for sharing.)
posted by scaryblackdeath at 4:49 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


As a metal ignoramus myself, this list suggests that there aren't many good metal bands (at least according to Rolling Stone, so that's probably the actual issue) . Black Sabbath, Metallica, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Ozzy, and Megadeth released 15 of the top 25 albums?
posted by good in a vacuum at 4:51 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


Or maybe the genre is smaller than I thought, and there just aren't many metal bands period?

Or... this is comparable to Rolling Stone lists of rock albums that are like 25% Beatles, Dylan, and Stones.
posted by good in a vacuum at 4:54 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


Ctrl F "King Diamond"

No results

Close tab
posted by saladin at 4:55 PM on June 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


Ctrl F "Voivod"

No. 78: 'Dimension Hatröss'

Huh, ok.
posted by Flashman at 4:59 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


What, no Jethro Tull? :P
posted by Sing Or Swim at 5:00 PM on June 30, 2017 [22 favorites]


After reading this list, I'm not sure what metal is.

That said, I want to share my latest fave: Apocalypse Orchestra.
posted by Slothrup at 5:00 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


Or maybe the genre is smaller than I thought, and there just aren't many metal bands period?

The number of metal bands approaches infinity. As does the number of sub-genres of metal. Metal rivals (or beats) electronic music for sheer insanity in categorization and variety. The top 25 is not very representative.

There's some amazing creativity in metal. Rolling Stone just made a terrible top 25. Nothing wrong with recognizing the classics but metal has gone a lot further than the 25-40 year old stuff that fills the list. The overall 100 seems better, but, they wasted a space on Evanescence? Definitely not what I'd consider metal. Nor RATM.
posted by honestcoyote at 5:16 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


Rolling Stone recently released their list of the top 100 metal albums of all time,

now if we could just see links to the original Rolling Stone reviews of said albums, no doubt glowing (he said sarcastically)
posted by philip-random at 5:22 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


so apparently there's some part of me that's still 14 years old and he has me blasting that Eyehategod album like old times and it's OK
posted by idiopath at 5:22 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


No Operation:Mindcrime by Queensryche? No thank you.
posted by ronofthedead at 5:29 PM on June 30, 2017 [7 favorites]


Ctrl F "Graveworm"

no results

the center will not hold

because holy shit
posted by philip-random at 5:29 PM on June 30, 2017


Control-F "Earth"... ok fuck this list.

Most boring and unrepresentative dad metal top 25 I have ever seen
posted by bradbane at 5:31 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


Yeah, I expect part of why this list didn't piss me off is that OF COURSE the best metal is some combination of classic metal and what was newish when you were a sullen 14 year old boy. Which, for me, was the mid 80s.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:33 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


It's a good list, it really is, but come on man, no Sleep, Electric Wizard, or Trouble? That's just weird.
posted by NoMich at 5:38 PM on June 30, 2017 [5 favorites]


If you're a metal fan and you're not vomiting with rage, you're doing it wrong.
posted by darksasami at 5:42 PM on June 30, 2017 [9 favorites]


Earth is the best metal hardcore you'll ever hear.
posted by Annika Cicada at 5:46 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


And DRI should be the top 39 songs.
posted by Annika Cicada at 5:47 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


Sleep is stoner metal. Metal metal is speed metal not stoner metal.
posted by Annika Cicada at 5:48 PM on June 30, 2017


"It's a protest song," said Ice[-T]. "I told a group of reporters, 'I'm singing in the first person as a character who is fed up with police brutality. … If you believe I'm a cop killer, you believe David Bowie is an astronaut.'"
What... what are you trying to say, Ice?

Also worth mentioning:

- the best metal album cover art site

- the best metal band logo (I think that you can guess which one I'm referring to)
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:50 PM on June 30, 2017 [9 favorites]


(...and hailing albums half a century old as the greatest of all time while paying minor lip service to just a couple from no more recently than the nineties is how Rolling Stone works.)

do you mean the black sabbath records?

can anyone seriously argue that black sabbath isn't THE metal band?

a list that doesn't have them at the top isn't worth anything - they invented the genre

(and some of the albums reported as missing are on there, people just didn't read the article - sleep has no 62 with jerusalem)
posted by pyramid termite at 5:51 PM on June 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


Glaring omission not including Blue Oyster Cult, at least the first or 2nd albums.
posted by chromium.switch at 5:51 PM on June 30, 2017 [5 favorites]


After reading this list, I'm not sure what metal is.

Same here. Given the diversity, I'd like to toss in Bad Brains - "I Against I".
posted by davebush at 5:52 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


Sleep is stoner metal. Metal metal is speed metal not stoner metal.

But...you keep using that word: metal.
posted by NoMich at 5:52 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


If someone really fucking loves the first five Black Sabbath albums, but can't seem to find any other metal they enjoy, what should they be listening to? Most of this list doesn't appeal to me. Those albums were produced in a bracket from what, 1968-1974 or something? I love love love them, but they're pretty much the only metal I listen to.

Basically, what secret-sub-genre should I be listening to and should this be moved to the green?
posted by furnace.heart at 5:54 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


Also, no one does sub-genres quite like metal. It's so fantastic, and I love it for that.
posted by furnace.heart at 5:55 PM on June 30, 2017


I only have 25 of the albums on this listicle. Vader called and wants to know why Rammstein missed the cut.
posted by Chuffy at 5:55 PM on June 30, 2017


Evanescence Is on this list?

Yeah I'm going to say the list is... not great.

You're not vomiting with rage because it has a bunch of unquestionable classics, but since the point is to argue I'm going to argue it's giving some classic bands way too much credit (I'm not personally sure any Ozzy solo album is top 20 but I'm quite sure he doesn't need two, beating Dio), making questionable selections for the requisite more contemporary inclusions, and throwing in some things that are questionably metal at all. Or in short - it's written like they needed filler, while at the same time rather severely neglecting the recognized classics of Death/Black/Doom/etc.
posted by atoxyl at 5:56 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


Sort of annoyed that Undertow isn't the token Tool album. Doubly annoyed to discover Tool isn't carried by Spotify. :-(
posted by simra at 5:56 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


Vader called and wants to know why Rammstein missed the cut.

Du hast mich gefragt, und ich hab nichts gesagt.
posted by Slothrup at 5:57 PM on June 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


If someone really fucking loves the first five Black Sabbath albums, but can't seem to find any other metal they enjoy, what should they be listening to?

i think doom metal is probably your best bet, although some of those songs tend to be awfully long
posted by pyramid termite at 5:57 PM on June 30, 2017


I'm rather annoyed that the Judas Priest albums in top 12 are their more commercial releases, ignoring classics like Sad Wings of Destiny and Stained Class. Also, Motley Crue? Oh fuck that. Really? Motley Crue?!
posted by Ber at 6:03 PM on June 30, 2017


Occult Metal. Careful not to stray too far into Stoner Metal, but if you stick around Uncle Acid, Blood Ceremony, Witchcraft, etc you should be okay.

Not that any of that is represented on this list. You'd think that Royal Blood would get the Evanescence slot, at least.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:07 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


Or in short - it's written like they needed filler, while at the same time rather severely neglecting the recognized classics of Death/Black/Doom/etc.

Well - upon further consideration I like the lower 50 more than the upper 50. If they'd just dropped some of the "does this really need to take a spot on the metal list/does that band really need three entries?" stuff from the top 50 and bumped some of that stuff up I'd like the look of it a lot better.
posted by atoxyl at 6:13 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


If someone really fucking loves the first five Black Sabbath albums, but can't seem to find any other metal they enjoy, what should they be listening to? Most of this list doesn't appeal to me. Those albums were produced in a bracket from what, 1968-1974 or something? I love love love them, but they're pretty much the only metal I listen to.

As pyramid termite mentioned, doom metal might be the way to go. Here's a few oldies from the '80s that might fit the bill:
Trouble: Psalm 9
Candlemass: Epicus Doomicus Metallicus
Saint Vitus: Born Too Late

Something from the '90s, but might be too gothy for you:
My Dying Bride: The Light at the End of the World

robocop is bleeding mentioned occult metal, though most of it is more akin to '70s rock (not that that is a bad thing). :
The Oath: The Oath
The Devil's Blood: Come, Reap

These are just some things to check out to see if any of it appeals to you. Have fun!
posted by NoMich at 6:15 PM on June 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


If someone really fucking loves the first five Black Sabbath albums, but can't seem to find any other metal they enjoy, what should they be listening to?

There is only one answer and it is 'Dixie Whiskey' by EYEHATEGOD
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 6:15 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


I will dig into all of these as time allows, but on a glance-of-a-listen, Uncle Acid seems to fit the bill.

I think it's the growl-y vocals. I run into this same problem with punk and hardcore.
posted by furnace.heart at 6:20 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


For once, they got the best Metallica album right.
posted by jonmc at 6:21 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


If someone really fucking loves the first five Black Sabbath albums, but can't seem to find any other metal they enjoy, what should they be listening to?

The album Supercollider by Cavity.
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:22 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


Nice to see Pantera on there. RIP Dimebag Darrell.
posted by asra at 6:22 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


If Frampton Comes Alive isn't #1, I'm quite confident that it's at least in the top 10.

So confident that I'm not even going to read the article or any of the preceding comments.
posted by Guy Smiley at 6:25 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


No Remorse is a compilation album. If you're going to put that on the list, why not just put We Sold Our Souls for Rock N Roll, so you could free up all those spots taken up by Black Sabbath.
posted by cazoo at 6:34 PM on June 30, 2017 [5 favorites]


Trying to order Candlemass cassettes from a music store in a small Louisiana town in 1989? Good times!
posted by wintermind at 6:39 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


I'm basically a dilettante when it comes to metal (I have strong opinions, but since metal is less than 10 percent of my music collection, they're not as well-informed as they could be).

That said, am I the only person that thinks Metallica is sort of the worst?
posted by infinitywaltz at 6:54 PM on June 30, 2017


If someone really fucking loves the first five Black Sabbath albums, but can't seem to find any other metal they enjoy, what should they be listening to? Most of this list doesn't appeal to me.

Blood Ceremony and Jex Thoth if you're OK with female vocalists. Possibly also Earth and Electric Wizard. Maybe Danzig? Have you given Danzig a shot yet?
posted by infinitywaltz at 6:57 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


I wonder if any metal fans will post their impossibly obscure favorite metal albums in response to the list referenced in this post.
posted by jeffehobbs at 7:02 PM on June 30, 2017 [5 favorites]


Where Is Ministry - With Sympathy?
posted by Artw at 7:05 PM on June 30, 2017 [7 favorites]


Lemmy would want off yer fuckin' list.
posted by shockingbluamp at 7:17 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


Your list makes Korpilkaani drink
posted by JohnFromGR at 7:18 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


Blackwater Park not in the top fifty but Mötley Crüe has two albums? That's some hot bullshit.
posted by chaoticgood at 7:18 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


I wonder if any metal fans will post their impossibly obscure favorite metal albums in response to the list referenced in this post.

If you really want to hear about my love for Galactic Cowboys we can do that. :)

(Not the best audio quality on this YouTube but you asked for albums.)
posted by scaryblackdeath at 7:18 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


Guns 'n' Roses isn't metal, but Mötley Crüe is?

You can tell by the umlaut count.
posted by WizardOfDocs at 7:21 PM on June 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


Paranoid is number one, so the world is fine, and everything makes sense.
posted by Beholder at 7:27 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


there's a fine line between hard rock and metal and i really think that guns and roses is on the hard rock part of that line

to me the difference is that metal is based on the riff, while hard rock is based more on the chord - even if it's just power chords

although i've got to say that motley crue is awfully close to that line, too - and i wouldn't have put them on this list
posted by pyramid termite at 7:27 PM on June 30, 2017


Y'all, I have a problem. I...I can't stand the growly, screamy vocals. Metallica, Megadeth, Tool, Iron Maiden, Queensryche, Dream Theater, Porcupine Tree? Their vocals all work for me. I can take Slayer in small doses. But the more modern vocalists? I just can't deal, and I'm sure I'm missing out on some great music because of it. I guess it's back to digging through power metal bands on SoundCloud for me. *sigh*
posted by wintermind at 7:34 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]



After reading this list, I'm not sure what metal is.

That said, I want to share my latest fave: Apocalypse Orchestra yt .


Nice. Cheers on that, old son!
posted by Samizdata at 7:37 PM on June 30, 2017


SEXCUSE ME

But what-a good is all the metal in the list

Unless it is tempered

With some MOTHERFUCKING GWAR
posted by delfin at 7:48 PM on June 30, 2017 [7 favorites]


Careful not to stray too far into Stoner Metal

Hey! I love Stoner Metal (and Doom Metal, which it is totally distinct from...in that the album art has mushrooms instead of skeletons). It's one of those things where I'm like, "Wow...This is incredibly formulaic," but also, "Wow...I could listen to this for the rest of my life." It's a great formula! Slow, loud, somehow both bluesy and proggy with none of the showoffy solo wankery of either. They've got the genre down to an absolute science these days. That can be frustratingly limiting at times (would it kill them to play even one note of counterpoint?), but, hey.

furnace.heart (and wintermind), just type either of those genres into YouTube and you'll get a bunch of great stuff.

Anyway. If Mëltey Crüd counts as metal, then surely there is no doubt that Van Halen absolutely should, and they're apparently nowhere to be found on this list. Kill it with fire.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:55 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


Van Halen's in the list, just not in the top 25.
posted by infinitywaltz at 7:58 PM on June 30, 2017


Where? I thought I'd ctrl-f'd all the pages, but I guess not?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:00 PM on June 30, 2017


It's sad how "rock critics" (lol) consistently place Master of Puppets ahead of Ride the Lightning.

Similar to how Dark Side of the Moon always eclipses Wish You Were Here.
posted by Sauce Trough at 8:05 PM on June 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


What's Metal's secret?

Volume, volume, volume!
posted by Chitownfats at 8:10 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


Similar to how Dark Side of the Moon always eclipses Wish You Were Here.

Wish You Were Here is the only post-Syd Pink Floyd album I really bother listening to.
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:11 PM on June 30, 2017


Where? I thought I'd ctrl-f'd all the pages, but I guess not?

Van Halen's Women and Children First is at 36, between Black Sabbath's Heaven and Hell and The Lars Ulrich Quartet's Kill 'em All.
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:14 PM on June 30, 2017


Since it's a Friday night, it's time for metal on NC State's student radio station, WKNC. Listen!

Tonight's playlist. The nine o'clock hour is Penitentiary Rock, all requests from local prisoners.
posted by NoMich at 8:15 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


Not to be all "What about my favorite band?" but I don't know how you leave Jane's Addiction, Nohting Shocking off this list.
posted by msalt at 8:18 PM on June 30, 2017


You want the choice stoner metal, you need Acid King's Middle of Nowhere, Center of Everywhere.

When people ask me where my god is now, I'm all like "check Lori S's facebook man."
posted by Sauce Trough at 8:26 PM on June 30, 2017


Otep's not on the list, but fucking Korn is.

Wunderbar.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 8:27 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


I searched just to see if Gojira, 'From Mars to Sirius' (2005) made the cut. It did. Listen to this song and disagree.
posted by resurrexit at 9:06 PM on June 30, 2017


If I were to choose a Carcass album it would have been Necrotism: Descanting the Insalubrious. There are some other silly omissions and really that's a LOT of Metallica and Megadeth and Slayer but then again those albums are insane monoliths and really deserve to be there.

Also there's no Strapping Young Lad on here and while I am OK with this it makes me cry a single tear.
posted by 1adam12 at 9:13 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


Isn't James Addiction "Alternarive", whatever the heck that is?
posted by Artw at 9:15 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


I was getting into thrash metal maybe a year or two ago until I encountered Reign in Blood, and everything I listened to after that felt weak and boring, like a poke in the arm after getting beaten up. I had no way of knowing this would happen!

(I'm also in the position of liking about two songs on Master of Puppets and all but two songs on Ride the Lightning so I guess between them I like approximately one Metallica album?)
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:19 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


there's a fine line between hard rock and metal and i really think that guns and roses is on the hard rock part of that line

Yeah or Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, etc. - perfectly good rock bands but do they need to take up a slot on the top 100 metal albums? Early Mötley Crüe can maybe get a spot but I see two, to one for Death?

It's just a bit weird when they decide to dig deeper - Lightning to the Nations is a very good album - versus when they throw in an a famous but borderline hard-rocker or a third Megadeth album (you know which one, the other two can stay).

Plus points for Mercyful Fate making it up high even though I like Don't Break the Oath better.
posted by atoxyl at 9:21 PM on June 30, 2017


I was getting into thrash metal maybe a year or two ago until I encountered Reign in Blood, and everything I listened to after that felt weak and boring, like a poke in the arm after getting beaten up. I had no way of knowing this would happen!

Have you tried the superfast German stuff like Sodom (made the list!) or Kreator? Or maybe early Sepultura? There's a bunch of thrash that's way more aggressive than the likes of Metallica though some is too focused on speed over personality.
posted by atoxyl at 9:31 PM on June 30, 2017


I had Sepultura's Beneath the Remains in high school and remember liking it. I should check it out, see if I still dig it.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:34 PM on June 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


Isn't James Addiction "Alternarive", whatever the heck that is?

That was an industry label but Black Sabbath was probably labeled hippie rock when they came out, too. If youi listen to it, it's just metal.
posted by msalt at 9:54 PM on June 30, 2017


/considers positing Radiohead as metal.
posted by Artw at 10:01 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


If someone really fucking loves the first five Black Sabbath albums, but can't seem to find any other metal they enjoy, what should they be listening to?

Acid King. It's what you would get if Ozzy Osbourne and Tony Iommi were combined into one person. And that person was female.
posted by 445supermag at 10:08 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


Where Is Ministry - With Sympathy? - Artw

Ministry is as 'hard' as any metal band but it falls into the category of industrial noise.
posted by tgyg at 10:19 PM on June 30, 2017


No. This is flawed. They mixed up Vol. 4 and Paranoid.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 10:31 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


Similar to how Dark Side of the Moon always eclipses Wish You Were Here.

Wish You Were Here is the only post-Syd Pink Floyd album I really bother listening to.


the only post Meddle Pink Floyd album I really bother listening to. Other than Animals which I find I listen to a lot. What I am is allergic to Dark Side of the Moon. Overexposed to it. And The Wall.

Sorry, what were we talking about?
posted by philip-random at 10:41 PM on June 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


Ministry is as 'hard' as any metal band but it falls into the category of industrial noise

Oh, not this one.
posted by Artw at 10:51 PM on June 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


ronofthedead > No Operation:Mindcrime by Queensryche? No thank you.

It's there at number 67. Stupid page setup makes you hit 'load more' a few times until you have 100-51 loaded, then the next 'load more' goes to a new page for me starting at 50. Can see how people might miss a few on a quick search.
posted by Enturbulated at 12:02 AM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I expect part of why this list didn't piss me off is that OF COURSE the best metal is some combination of classic metal and what was newish when you were a sullen 14 year old boy. Which, for me, was the mid 80s.

Same. Mid-eighties to mid-nineties was when I was most involved with heavy metal -- in part thanks to my younger brother who was a much greater metalhead than I was -- and the bands of that era are certainly over represented.

Nevertheless the list is still flawed for me for a number of reasons:

1) in a genre as deep and diverse as metal to not stick to the one album per band rule is madness; only band who deserves two entries is Sabbath for having started it all and by omitting all the doubles you make room for bands like Paradise Lost or My Dying Bride, which should've been on there

2) Does it or does it not include hard rock in metal? Because if it does, it's missing some entries

3) Hair metal is fine to include, but then Appetite for Destruction should've been on the list, not Motley Crue.

4) Hard to do in a genre like metal, whose boundaries are sort of soft, but Dream Theater, Ministry, some others? Not metal

5) No Gorefest, no sale
posted by MartinWisse at 1:53 AM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


I'm mostly exposed to metal in friends cars and the odd wedding and yet I'm familiar with most of this. I'd expect there to be a way more bands I'd never heard of in here. And even given that I note Rammstein as a bit of an omission, mostly based on how many of my metal listening friends like them.
posted by mr_stru at 2:38 AM on July 1, 2017


sorry but if Ministry is industrial noise Slayer is bluegrass, that's just silly
posted by idiopath at 2:49 AM on July 1, 2017


Ministry is industrial metal (which is a kind of metal, specifically the industrial kind of metal). They picked the right album, though I'd argue Filth Pig is extremely underrated.
posted by infinitywaltz at 3:31 AM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


> But...you keep using that word: metal.
Obligatory "I do not think it means what you think it means."

Anyway, I'm mos def not a metal fan yet there are a good handful of albums I own in that list. Apparenty that word means "anything with noisy guitars in it".
posted by farlukar at 4:25 AM on July 1, 2017


There are Ministry albums which are no less metal (and no less industrial) than Godflesh, whose inclusion no one has complained about yet.
posted by Slothrup at 4:26 AM on July 1, 2017


The best Judas Priest album is Sad Wings of Destiny.

The best non-Bruce-Dickinson Iron Maiden album is Killers. (Listen to Purgatory if you disagree and then get back to me.)

The best Bruce Dickinson Iron Maiden album IS Number of the Beast; they got that one right.

The Best King Diamond album is Them, though Abigail will be put forward by many others and maybe they're right.

I have now expressed an opinion on the Internet.
posted by wittgenstein at 4:46 AM on July 1, 2017


I have now expressed an opinion on the Internet.

hmmmm...I'll see about that.

/reads wittgenstein's list

Yep! Opinion valid. Congratulations, wittgenstein, your first opinion on the internet was a correct one.

/ high fives
posted by NoMich at 6:08 AM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


Why is Death not on here
posted by pxe2000 at 6:33 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


But where's The Ruins of Beverast's Foulest Semen of a Sheltered Elite?
posted by Sonny Jim at 7:03 AM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


Con for me and Chuck Eddy, pro for most: no Last Exit.
posted by box at 7:28 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


Why is Death not on here

no 70 - can we read the article first?
posted by pyramid termite at 8:13 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


It's a good list, it really is, but come on man, no Sleep, Electric Wizard, or Trouble? That's just weird.

They do list Jerusalem at 62, but its basically a butchered version of Dopesmoker, since the label didn't know what to do with a 60-minute song.
posted by dortmunder at 8:18 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


(I found a band called Summerlands on Bandcamp that seems to be my kind of thing, but that's a detail, they don't belong on a top 100 list. Also, "The Final Cut" is probably my favorite Punk Floyd album, and you can hate me for it later.)
posted by wintermind at 8:23 AM on July 1, 2017


You have all failed Artw's Do You Actually Know The Ministry Back Catalogue test.

I saw what you did there, Artw. I saw.
posted by Shepherd at 8:44 AM on July 1, 2017 [3 favorites]


My inner 11-year old feels completely vindicated by the lack of GNR on this list.

Back in the late 80s/early 90s, I had a radio show (in an unnamed European country). It was a weekly show for pre-teens by pre-teens, and while we were responsible for the content, the producer was pretty happy to let us select the music we played. Most of it consisted of euro pop we could get a good, clean copy of.

One day we decided to change it up and selected Ramones, Scorpions, etc., to go with the Eastern European punk rock we were playing. But I was dissatisfied. I was craving a heavier sound that I knew existed, I just couldn't quite name it.

In the pre-internet days, it was virtually impossible to track down names of artists and bands that were very occasionally played on satellite radio from Germany and the UK, or at least it was for me. So I went to our producer and asked for something really heavy to play that day.

He chose a GNR ballad.

It was my first exposure to GNR, but to this day I have a really hard time admitting I like metal. I moved to North America in the 90s where I discovered industrial and found the heavy music I was searching for. I even love most of the music on this list, but I can justify liking it because it's cross-genre. Bands like Faith No More, Type O Negative, Ministry, Tool, Rage Against the Machine. When Guitar Hero and Rock Band came out, I learned to love older classic rock (metal).

But I was still defining metal based on a GNR love ballad. I quite enjoy ballads, whether done by Eros Ramazzoti and Whitney Houston, or Ministry (eg Lay Lady Lay cover) and Type O Negative. And hearing Mike Patton croon at a surprisingly violent concert in LA was one of the best experiences of my life. I'm even in love with symphonic metal like Nightwish and Within Temptation.

I hope GNR fans don't hate me for this opinion. I'm trying to untangle my own musical taste and influence (and if you have a musical understanding of why, please let me know!). It would also be good to get past teenage snobbery now that I'm about to enter a new decade. I suppose it's about time I stop apologizing for what I enjoy.
posted by A hidden well at 8:54 AM on July 1, 2017 [3 favorites]


The best Bruce Dickinson Iron Maiden album IS Number of the Beast; they got that one right.


I wish Maiden had released Piece of Mind as an EP containing just the first five songs. Then I would battle endlessly online to proclaim it the greatest Maiden release.

Never has the distinction between killer and filler been more starkly illustrated.
posted by Sauce Trough at 9:20 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


Work... For Love.
posted by humboldt32 at 9:41 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


I wish Maiden had released Piece of Mind as an EP containing just the first five songs.

You're right, but would Maiden really be Maiden without the silly Dune song and the even sillier Quest for Fire song?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:46 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


So it's taken me a little while to process my feelings on this list, so I've attempted to be constructive in my thoughts instead of grar. So first some feelings and then a list of bands I've been listening to the past year or so to help other Sabbath refugees.

1) Sleep made the list, way too low, and for the record that played into their initial destruction as a band. They give lipservice to Dopesmoker claiming it's a remaster, and it is technically, but it's the actual magnum opus they wanted to put out the first time around. Dopesmoker should replace Jerusalem, full stop. In my mind it should be in the top ten. It is some of the heaviest of the heavy; listening to Dopesmoker in one sitting is a transcendent experience. A people split off, travelled through the wilds, established a society, expanded and built monuments, shed blood, tears, and collapsed, until we find only the ruins, the monuments turning back into dust...... and then the vocals finally kick in. Dopesmoker is so superior I would (and do) easily select Holy Mountain over Jerusalem. I have seen them play Dopesmoker live, twice, and it is a abbreviated 37 minute version but is still absolutely epic.

2) No Earthless? NO FUCKING EARTHLESS? You can't argue they're not metal compared to some of the other bands on this damn list.

3) I realize the list was pretty skewed towards 20th century stuff but I was actually kind of impressed with how many 2000's bands were on there, at least.

4) NO FUCKING ACID KING. Jesus Christ. Seriously? I can't even.

Now to the bands that I've been listening to, mostly on the YouTubes.


Electric Wizard - Dopethrone is probably their most well known track, and I dig it. I like the fact that there is a band that appears to have been named by a 12 year old me.

Acid King - They are still rocking, still playing shows, and absolutely devastating to see live. Their newest Middle of Nowhere, Center of Everywhere is good, but I still love III and Busse Woods. They named an album after a forest. It doesn't get much more metal than that in my book.

Earthless - Intense. Mostly instrumental, although the vocals on Cherry Red are just awesome. They start at 11 and just take off from there.

Witch - J Mascis's band, great groove, loud as shit.

The Sword - Furious metal, great artwork.

Colour Haze - German, found them when I stumbled into a Duna Jam playlist on youtube, and if you want to explore a whole awesome psychedelic metal scene just watch the Duna Jam videos. Their latest, In Her Garden, is probably their mellowest record. Tempel from 2006 is a great one to start with

Truckfighters - Swedish stoner metal, heavy fuzz, beefy.

Samsara Blues Experiment - Psych, stoner, doom, nice vocals, good grooves. I find myself humming them a lot.

Boris - From Japan. So, so loud. I hope to see them live on their next tour.

Overall I've been migrating more towards psychedelic/long form/instrumental stuff for my day to day listening. Will be watching this thread for more suggestions of Those Who Carry The Mantle of Sabbath.
posted by Skrubly at 10:09 AM on July 1, 2017 [9 favorites]


no 70 - can we read the article first?

That's the other Death. But the Death from the 70s is more a punk/garage band anyway? And the other Death could easily have more than one album on the list.
posted by atoxyl at 10:25 AM on July 1, 2017


Inter Arma - Sky Burial

Graves at Sea - The Curse that Is

Also anything by Cobalt.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 10:52 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


Elder, Lore and Dead Roots Stirring
Weedpecker, II
SubRosa, More Constant than the Gods
posted by Sonny Jim at 11:16 AM on July 1, 2017


Here's John Darnielle talking about the metal bands he's digging on Bandcamp lately, as a chaser for this overly commercial pop-oriented list
posted by naju at 11:41 AM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


Re: Ministry - judging from their first album, they're delightful synthpop
posted by naju at 11:54 AM on July 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


bop bop bop

bop bop bop
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:21 PM on July 1, 2017


Re: Ministry - judging from their first album, they're delightful synthpop

My joke!
posted by Artw at 12:46 PM on July 1, 2017 [3 favorites]


Re: Ministry - judging from their first album,

some artists adhere to genres
others, much rarer, have genres adhere to them.
posted by philip-random at 12:56 PM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


Re: Ministry - judging from their first album, they're delightful synthpop


.... for love.
posted by humboldt32 at 7:59 PM on July 1, 2017


Damn, I am digging the Acid King love in this thread. You people rule.

Check their Middle of Nowhere live set. (It's ridiculously well recorded, Pit Full of Shit is a goddamn hero)

It's crushing, utterly crushing, a weight from which nothing can escape save for Lori S.'s divinely undermixed wail.
posted by Sauce Trough at 10:51 PM on July 1, 2017 [2 favorites]


Jethro Tull
posted by 4ster at 6:17 PM on July 2, 2017


Northern Warriors
posted by bjgeiger at 12:47 AM on July 3, 2017


..I thought Evanescence was Goth turned mainstream.

(Are there any good - with examples - musical genre explanations? I find defining music into genre to be particularly confusing.)
posted by Deoridhe at 1:14 AM on July 3, 2017


Evanescence are Lacuna Coil for the masses.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:56 AM on July 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


Power metal devotee here.

Mr. Palmcorder and I went over this list while we ate our dinner the other night. Mr. Palmcorder is power metal-friendly, but he's really more of a NWoBHM/ Sludge/ Stoner metal guy, so he and I were joking around the way power metal was treated on the list. By the start of the third page, we were like "Damn, still no Coat of Arms! They must have given it one hell of ranking!" and "Aw, shit, Timeless Miracle's totally going to cruise into the number one spot! IT'S HAPPENING!"

But now, days later, I find that I'm kind of pissed. I mean, no, I was not actually expecting Timeless Miracle to take the number one spot. But goddamn, not all of power metal is silly keyboards and nerds emoting in soaring, tearful falsettos about vampire dragon-corns. (Note: I personally love a a tearful, soaring falsetto, especially when it's emoting, with commitment, about vampire dragon-corns. But I understand why that's not everyone's bag.)

But FFS, if Korn deserved to be there, and Megadeth deserved to be there, what, sixteen times? Then Helloween absolutely deserved to be there. As did Eluvitie. As did Angra. God, especially Angra. Holy Land is just a ridiculous miracle, and it's more than stood the test of time.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 4:49 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


..I thought Evanescence was Goth turned mainstream.

Evanescence is like... Remember how the blond kid from Silverchair married Natalie Imbruglia? That's Evanescence in a nutshell. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it ain't metal, and it ain't goth. Their corporate-appointed stylist just liked black.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:13 PM on July 4, 2017 [3 favorites]


Oh, I love Evanescence; I'm just really baffled by genre.
posted by Deoridhe at 11:36 PM on July 4, 2017


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