He's being bland does not imply he would have been a horrible president

July 9, 2017 12:47 PM

The instagram art of governor Scott Walker (SLWired)
posted by growabrain (26 comments total)

Jesus Christ someone get that man a reusable lunch bag.
posted by obfuscation at 1:05 PM on July 9, 2017 [10 favorites]

The guy was grown in a empathy-free vat by the Koch brothers. They only give him the secret metabolite he needs to prevent cellular dissolution in the form of ham sandwiches, so don't begrudge him that. Fucker can't even pass the Voight-Kampff test and they expect him to maintain an Instagram feed. No wonder he feels brief flashes of comraderie for his fellow vat grown sausage-men.
posted by benzenedream at 1:12 PM on July 9, 2017 [36 favorites]

Apparently Scott Walker, who is my state's governor and an idiot with little imagination who spews whatever bullshit his right-wing minders dictate, feels self-conscious about all of the attention given to his devotion to the two-ham-sandwiches-and-cranberry-juice lunches he packs daily. Consequently, he's "fighting back" against the "haters" and "liberal media" by posting and tweeting photos of beer, cheese curds, etc.

In conclusion, Scott Walker is a horrible person.
posted by carmicha at 1:17 PM on July 9, 2017 [10 favorites]

Wait, is someone actually surprised that a public figure is using Instagram to grow a brand?

Huh.
posted by anarch at 1:21 PM on July 9, 2017

Kopps, Gilles, Leons - and this guy's eating Coldstone. Simpleton.
posted by klarck at 2:18 PM on July 9, 2017 [5 favorites]

Scott Walker looks like he eats glue
posted by kittens for breakfast at 2:51 PM on July 9, 2017 [6 favorites]

"Wait, is someone actually surprised that a public figure is using Instagram to grow a brand?"

I think they're surprised he's doing such a bad job of it.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 3:20 PM on July 9, 2017 [10 favorites]

I agree with so much of this but then also I like Chicago-style pizza why Wired why AM I A MONSTER TOO
posted by augustimagination at 3:39 PM on July 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

Plain vanilla at Coldstone Creamery is some sort of punchline, somewhere. I didn't know they'd even let you do that.
posted by Slinga at 3:44 PM on July 9, 2017 [8 favorites]

Kopps, Gilles, Leons - and this guy's eating Coldstone. Simpleton.

Even worse, he posted a picture of Miller Lite as some sort of clapback. He did redeem himself, though. (Sort of. Leinie's isn't locally owned.)
posted by AFABulous at 4:07 PM on July 9, 2017

The Bob Newhart Show
53 Sorry, Wrong Mother First Aired: October 12, 1974
Writer: Charlotte Brown
Director: Jay Sandrich
Guest Stars: Moosie Drier, Pat Finley, John Ritter

Even after she plies him with gifts and ice cream, Ellen can't seem to earn the approval of Howard's son.

The family tensions are played out in the unlikely setting of a razzle-dazzle straw-hat ice-cream parlor, which is also the scene of one of Bob's most unforgettable comic nightmares, as towering plates of Hazelnut Hoohas, Hot 'n' Heavy Fandangoes, and Banana Fofana Splits are served up by an unrestrained waiter with the tableside manner of Rip Taylor. Hoping to avoid all the embarrassing hoopla, Bob orders an unassuming scoop of plain vanilla, only to find himself besieged by a cadre of singing waiters chanting, "Single scooper, single scooper, this man is a party pooper," as he tries to melt into the brightly checkered tablecloth.

Though Walker is not in the same class as Bob Newhart, I'm sure.
posted by crush at 4:27 PM on July 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

And President Pence's Instagram will be even worse
posted by growabrain at 5:04 PM on July 9, 2017 [3 favorites]

Bascom Hall ice cream is right down the road at Memorial Union. Then again, I rather suppose that there are very few people in the Rathskeller who would want to serve him. There's nothing he can do to make anyone think he's anything but a sociopath, though, so he might as well quit this Instagram foolishness right now.
posted by droplet at 6:57 PM on July 9, 2017

> And President Pence's ...

what's the phrase that averts evil?
posted by anadem at 7:18 PM on July 9, 2017

Metafilter: brief flashes of comraderie for fellow vat grown sausage-men
posted by KateViolet at 10:27 PM on July 9, 2017 [4 favorites]

And to think that just two years ago, this guy was my dead serious worst case scenario for American politics.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:41 PM on July 9, 2017 [3 favorites]

With the whole brown bag lunch thing, it feels like he thought he found a marketing gimmick that won him the governorship, and tries to keep at it in hopes of using it at the national level, where his weaponized-blandness just doesn't play.
posted by drezdn at 5:05 AM on July 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

And to think that just two years ago, this guy was my dead serious worst case scenario for American politics.

He still is, or would be without Pence. Trump isn't forever. And Scott Walker has many decades to go.
posted by blucevalo at 5:55 AM on July 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Jesus Christ someone get that man a reusable lunch bag.

Maybe even just a stock photo of a resuable lunch bag, maybe one made to look like a brown paper bag so as not to be too overwhelming to his total lack of aesthetic sensibility. This guy can't even figure out to put up stuff that says GO BADGERS.
posted by bile and syntax at 6:51 AM on July 10, 2017 [3 favorites]

And Scott Walker has many decades to go.

*knocks on wood* I'm pretty sure Walker's shot at the National level is gone. His big attention grabbing plan is more than a half decade old, his other ideas to get the spotlight aren't any different from what Republicans in other states have done. Term limits fans should get annoyed that he'll have ran for governor for at least three terms. His state party is starting to get fed up with his inflexibility.

The only way I see him becoming president is if he were picked as someone's vice president and then got in on their coat-tails.
posted by drezdn at 6:54 AM on July 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

The only way I see him becoming president is if he were picked as someone's vice president and then got in on their coat-tails.

The full Mike Pence!
posted by Emmy Rae at 8:21 AM on July 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

There really is something eerie and creepy about this. I think overall it demonstrates a profound lack of imagination, an inability to think outside of what constrains him. He's like someone in a creative writing class who is told to write a story about sports, and the example the teacher gives is baseball. Then he writes a story about baseball, and when he sees that others in the class have written about other sports, he says, "Hey, weren't we supposed to write about baseball?" And they say, "No, about sports." And he smiles, relieved, and says, "Right, you mean like baseball."
posted by anothermug at 9:19 AM on July 10, 2017 [8 favorites]

He's such a weird dude. His wedding anniversary is purposely on Reagan's birthday.
posted by drezdn at 10:20 AM on July 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Ever notice you don't ever see Scott Walker and Jerry Smith in the same room together despite their mutual love of the Cold Stone Creamery? Hmmmm.
posted by Muddler at 10:46 AM on July 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

And President Pence's Instagram will be even worse

Related important ethical question: is it ok to follow Marlon Bundo? (I have resisted so far on principle, but that is one cute bun-bun).
posted by naoko at 3:20 PM on July 10, 2017

It'll be ok to follow once they can't call themselves a first or second or third or even millionth family anymore.
posted by numaner at 7:31 AM on July 12, 2017