Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy ...
July 21, 2017 11:50 AM   Subscribe

Uproxx shares a list of 22 things Euron Greyjoy looks like.
posted by hanov3r (46 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
Stop being mean to Kasper Juul!
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:54 AM on July 21, 2017 [5 favorites]


He kinda looks like William Riker.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:13 PM on July 21, 2017 [8 favorites]


⌘F "like liev schreiber fucked prequels obiwan"
posted by fleacircus at 12:14 PM on July 21, 2017 [24 favorites]


I think Euron Greyjoy is supposed to be a character who would look like that if he didn't have more charisma, but you actually give him a pass because he has some insane initiative that will probably draw people to his personality. I found him compelling more than I disliked him, and I wouldn't like any of the 22 people on that list.
posted by SpacemanStix at 12:20 PM on July 21, 2017


Whole lotta white trash / class signifiers on that list.
posted by jenkinsEar at 12:22 PM on July 21, 2017 [16 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy...

...with two hands.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:29 PM on July 21, 2017 [26 favorites]


Whole lotta white trash / class signifiers on that list.

I wonder if the Ironborn have their own equivalent of Jeff Foxworthy.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:37 PM on July 21, 2017 [6 favorites]


If you demand that your men build you 1000 ships and they show up with 40 ships they stole from Ed Sheeran, you might just be a Greyjoy.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:40 PM on July 21, 2017 [35 favorites]


When he first turned up in my annual re-watch I suddenly though... 'Good god, it's Oliver Reed , isn't it?!' Nothing since has changed that.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:44 PM on July 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who borrows his girlfriend’s car to cheat on her.

This is pretty good.
posted by lunasol at 1:03 PM on July 21, 2017 [4 favorites]


Wow, that piece actually has funny comments to go with it. When I last read Uproxx, the comments ran very MRA-heavy. Nice to see that site might have recovered.
posted by gladly at 1:10 PM on July 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who wears his cleanest Baja hoodie to a wedding.

Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who owns more than one Godsmack album.

Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who tries to rob a medpot dispensary but fucks it up.

Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who gets scurvy at age 23.

Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who tries to convince people he's done time in the joint, but has really only done a few weeks in county for unpaid traffic violations.

Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who works at a shop that sells vaping paraphernalia and stolen bikes.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:42 PM on July 21, 2017 [10 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy would really appreciate it if you would like and subscribe to his The Witcher 3 Let's Play videos
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:46 PM on July 21, 2017 [12 favorites]


I sort of wish they'd replaced, just for this episode, the actor playing Euron with Ed Sheeran pretending to be the actor who plays Euron. And then each new episode this season has Ed replacing another actor. And then if you spell out the words formed by the first letter of the name of each character he replaced, it spells out E D S H E E R A N.

I wonder if the Ironborn have their own equivalent of Jeff Foxworthy.

If you commandeer the Iron Fleet, and then your sister commandeers it right back when you're not looking...you MIGHT be a Euron Greyjoy.
posted by cortex at 2:11 PM on July 21, 2017 [11 favorites]


cortex: I sort of wish they'd replaced, just for this episode, the actor playing Euron with Ed Sheeran pretending to be the actor who plays Euron. And then each new episode this season has Ed replacing another actor.

So, the Game of Thrones / Too Many Cooks mashup people have been longing for?
posted by hanov3r at 2:21 PM on July 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who shouldn't have become a major character in a book because maybe the author would be able to fucking write something if he didn't keep adding a bunch of bullshit instead of wrapping things up.
posted by Justinian at 2:44 PM on July 21, 2017 [17 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who still has a Yahoo mail account.
posted by AFABulous at 2:48 PM on July 21, 2017 [6 favorites]


I thought of Riker the moment I saw the picture in the article. But not Will, Thomas the transporter clone.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:48 PM on July 21, 2017 [6 favorites]


⌘F "like liev schreiber fucked prequels obiwan"

I had a bit lined up about writing a slashfic opus titled The Mandalorian Candidate, but of course I am not the first person to think of this title.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 2:49 PM on July 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy that George R. R. Martin owes money to because he hasn't GoT around to publishing the final book in the series yet.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:50 PM on July 21, 2017


final "book". Oh you sweet summer child.

totally not bitter.

Euron Greyjoy looks like I feel inside, all the time.
posted by Justinian at 2:52 PM on July 21, 2017 [5 favorites]


BTW, the author Brian Grubb is the co-host of the TV Avalanche podcast with Alan Sepinwall. If you missed Alan from the Firewall and Iceberg podcast (RIP), check him out with Brian on TV Avalanche.
posted by Rhomboid at 2:53 PM on July 21, 2017


Like his forehead can bench 250.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:16 PM on July 21, 2017


Euron Greyjoy looks like Pilou Asbæk, but in our house we play the Pilou Asbæk game, where the first person to spot him in a tv show or film has to shout Pilou Asbæk! I always win.
posted by biffa at 3:40 PM on July 21, 2017 [5 favorites]


What's more mysterious about Euron is where he picked up that accent. All the other Iron Island royal family speak with well educated English accents. I know his backstory is lots of travel but to where? Someone switch on the languagehat signal.
posted by biffa at 3:44 PM on July 21, 2017


Boston. That's also where he went to get the ships.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:16 PM on July 21, 2017 [4 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who shouldn't have become a major character in a book because maybe the author would be able to fucking write something if he didn't keep adding a bunch of bullshit instead of wrapping things up.

Justinian, I was only a few words into that comment before I knew it was yours. Your impatience and disdain for GRRM is one of the true constants in this crazy world.
posted by lunasol at 4:18 PM on July 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


...like a guy who says he spent time in Boston but really just owns a Dropkick Murphys CD.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:43 PM on July 21, 2017 [9 favorites]


I sort of half-watch GOT on Sunday nights and barely follow the plot but generally enjoy the dialogue and scenery and get enough out of it for a Sunday night. I assumed I was not GOT-savvy enough to get this character, but the instant he showed up onscreen he just had this Ed Hardy-dumbass quality about him that made me briefly wonder if the show runner was trolling HBO, from the clothes to the body language to his syntax. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
posted by docpops at 5:17 PM on July 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a roady for Foghat.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 5:37 PM on July 21, 2017 [3 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who just got laid off from the circus.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 5:38 PM on July 21, 2017 [3 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like the real-life guy Dazed and Confused's Watterson is based on.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 5:40 PM on July 21, 2017 [1 favorite]




Whole lotta white trash / class signifiers on that list.

Not so much IMO; I've known a bunch of middle class/upper middle class college kids who indulged in the same sort of free-range douchebaggery, either because they had the same sort of charisma as Euron or because they assumed that their privilege would insulate them from any real consequences. The only genuine class signifier that I picked up on was Staind.

Also, Justinian is right.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:49 PM on July 21, 2017 [6 favorites]


Frankly, the Babadook looks cleaner.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:51 PM on July 21, 2017


Euron Greyjoy has a lot of ideas for some startups he'd like to talk to you about.

Euron Greyjoy shaves his pubes more frequently than he shaves his face.

Euron Greyjoy went to Burning Man for the first time in 2014.

Euron Greyjoy wants an Audi M6 but drives a 320Z.

It's cool, Euron Greyjoy totally had a vasectomy.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:18 PM on July 21, 2017 [5 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy will be the one you perpetually refer to as "the shittiest guy I ever dated."
posted by thivaia at 7:37 PM on July 21, 2017 [8 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a GoT character.


...am I doing this right?
posted by Literaryhero at 8:20 PM on July 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy trying to figure out how to set up a "not yet, but you will be" line when introducing himself to women.
posted by Riki tiki at 8:38 PM on July 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


If you demand that your men build you 1000 ships and they show up with 40 ships they stole from Ed Sheeran, you might just be a Greyjoy.

If you show up at the kingsmoot two hours late and yell "DO-OVER," you might be a Greyjoy.

If your good going-to-see-the-queen outfit is something you got at the Sturgis bedazzling booth, you might be a Greyjoy.

If you've captured everyone in the castle except the kid who can't run away and the kid who can't run away diagonally, then you might be a Greyjoy.

If your most valuable possession is a dog bowl with "Reek" written on it then yes, you might be a Greyjoy.

If your granddaddy got out-strategized by Nedd Stark, then you might just be a Greyjoy.
posted by PlusDistance at 9:11 PM on July 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who just got laid

EURON: yeaaaahhh!

off from the circus.

EURON: oh
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:29 PM on July 21, 2017 [10 favorites]


Euron Greyjoy looks like a guy who should have been one of the vampires in Fevre Dream but got lost on the way to the movie studio.
posted by Bringer Tom at 6:12 AM on July 22, 2017


MetaFilter: free-range douchebaggery
posted by vibrotronica at 11:58 AM on July 22, 2017 [1 favorite]


Euron Greyjoyd looks like a guy who can no longer remember the precise details of his feud with Diamond Joe Biden.
posted by Sauce Trough at 12:25 PM on July 24, 2017


Euron Greyjoy looks like the abusive asshole whose girlfriend can't bring herself to leave because he apologizes so charmingly, and also happens to be amazingly good at eating pussy.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:08 AM on July 29, 2017


Euron Greyjoy looks like a contrived psychopath who might be just ever so slightly interesting if he were wearing a suit of eldritch armor he'd found while exploring where others fear to tread, instead of writer's-favorite-scumbag armor he'd been granted just for showing up and being a dick.
posted by homunculus at 12:59 PM on July 29, 2017


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