"a star that shoots little stars out of its legs"

August 5, 2017 11:47 PM

National Treasure Alexandra Petri ( /ˈpiːtraɪ/ PEE-try) recently visited her childhood home and discovered an example of her own early work:

friends apologies but here are a number of tweets because I have discovered a catalog I made when I was in second grade

I had read a LOT of catalogs and knew what the house style was but I did not anticipate the length required so it went quickly off the rails [Storified]

(Alexandra Petri previously)

Alexandra Petri Is The Only Op-Ed Columnist America Needs Right Now

Petri expertly expresses our fears and frustration from inside a mainstream news organization, which is important for our sanity. She’s consistently hilarious on deadline, and she says the things that we want the mainstream media to finally come out and say.

How I Got My Own Humor Column at the Washington Post

"The internet is this amazing space that shows that you can say your weirdest, truest thing that is most personal — that thing that maybe zero people will get — but maybe nine people will get and it will be their favorite thing ever. So I just try to be nine people's favorite thing rather than 100 people's ninth favorite thing."

Alexandra Petri and the “Awkward” memoir

It’s safe to say that everyone faces that dreaded Medusa, awkwardness, on a daily basis. For example, Alexandra Petri forgot to bring a copy of her recently released book, A Field Guide to Awkward Silences, to a recent reading at the Harvard Book Store in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and nearly needed to borrow my copy. No trouble here, though – this is nothing for Petri, a self-proclaimed “connoisseur of awkwardness,” who has collected enough awkward experiences to fill a book (or two). Petri, a much-lauded columnist for the Washington Post, read excerpts from her handy Field Guide to a packed house. In the dimly lit book store basement minutes before the event, Petri and I spoke about her various projects.

posted by Johnny Wallflower (15 comments total)

That catalog is charming!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:58 AM on August 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Not sure if this came up in the various previous posts, but I just stumbled on Alexandra Petri reading negative comments for The Washington Post.

She's got a great, awkward charisma. I can't think of anyone else who pulls off that balance like she does. Is it sarcastic earnestness? I'm not sure, but it works.
posted by Telf at 1:20 AM on August 6, 2017

If she made the catalog when she was in second grade, does that mean she was seven or eight years old? Because if so, that's pretty great. Definitely fridge-worthy.
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:19 AM on August 6, 2017

"Everything your child needs to reach out to others." Could have used it back in the day.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:59 AM on August 6, 2017

But the Post also has the same institutional problem as the Times, NPR, and CNN: A still-burning desire to tell us everything’s going to be fine.

Fuck, yes. And of these, at least fully 3 out of 4 have actually broken stories about the current clusterfuck. Where are your *reporters* NPR? What good are you?
posted by leotrotsky at 5:17 AM on August 6, 2017 [3 favorites]

Who would not buy Fake Lightning?

I mean, maybe Zeus and Thor, but everyone else would love it.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:18 AM on August 6, 2017 [3 favorites]

Did anyone on MeFi see her play in DC? The title was to tell my story: a Hamlet fanfic and I haven't wanted to capacity to just up and go see a play somewhere else so much since Hamilton*. Shakespeare, an exploration of fandom, and it's by Alexandra Petri -- I was so there in spirit. Probably on cosplay night, because the pictures looked great.

But sadly, not in actuality because I couldn't afford a random trip to DC.

* Admittedly, I still want to see Hamilton by an order of magnitude more. I still really wanted to see this.
posted by JustKeepSwimming at 5:54 AM on August 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

I did see her play, and it was fabulous! We have some mutual friends through DC theater, and they hosted a brunch at their house to laud her. We all got to meet her and socialize and pretend we weren't fangirls. She was lovely and charming and humble and probably just like you think she is. I told her about Mefi being obsessed with her! (Hi Alexandra, if you're here! Your play was the tits!)
posted by kinsey at 8:03 AM on August 6, 2017 [5 favorites]

Don't want to derail the thread too far, but:
Where are your *reporters* NPR? What good are you?
On Tuesday NPR released an exclusive report titled “Behind Fox News’ Baseless Seth Rich Story: The Untold Tale”.
posted by cheshyre at 9:06 AM on August 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

I love the Cosmo article. It definitely sounds like The Life. I wish.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:22 AM on August 6, 2017

Did any grad students out there notice the catalogue code for the item "be thankful man poster" was #ABD?
HMMM.
posted by chapps at 10:47 AM on August 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

That was a nice Cosmo article but it was a bit painful to read all the 'after the election'
posted by bq at 11:11 AM on August 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

I love her so much; I am sure it was the Chris Christie column that put me in fangirl territory. When I was deciding where to spend my media money after November she was the deciding factor in my Post decision. Thanks for posting the Cosmo article, which I hadn't seen yet.
posted by charmedimsure at 10:28 PM on August 6, 2017

I would TOTALLY watch "I want to eat?" "Yes!" a movie.
posted by medusa at 6:18 PM on August 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

I am sorry for killing everything: A millennial’s confession

Before we move any closer to the end of the planet, I wish to get this off my chest: I am a millennial, and I am sorry for killing everything.

Yes, it was me, and I did it to get vengeance on the boomers. They did not want me to have nice things. They insisted that I valued experiences more than possessions, while denying me the disposable income that would have permitted me to try having possessions. They forced me to live in my parents’ basement, then mocked me for living there, calling me “self-obsessed,” “entitled,” “lazy,” “narcissistic”. I could only bear so much.

They would be made to suffer. I would murder everything they loved. First, the nuclear family. Then, golf. Then, the American dream.

posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:06 PM on August 10, 2017 [2 favorites]