Umeshisms
August 20, 2017 6:00 PM Subscribe
You won't learn anything from a shop teacher with all of his fingers.
Am I doing this wrong?
posted by es_de_bah at 6:14 PM on August 20, 2017 [52 favorites]
Am I doing this wrong?
posted by es_de_bah at 6:14 PM on August 20, 2017 [52 favorites]
The time I spend in an airport is time not spent contemplating the potential chain of events that could leave my life in shambles that missing this flight kicks off. And I get to watch a movie on my iPad.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:14 PM on August 20, 2017 [71 favorites]
posted by Space Coyote at 6:14 PM on August 20, 2017 [71 favorites]
Related, I think, is the old "there are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots."
posted by Countess Elena at 6:16 PM on August 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 6:16 PM on August 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
The problem with the canonical example is that it assumes that missing your flight is the only negative outcome resulting from showing up late. Speaking from personal experience, missing a flight and just barely making a flight are both pretty miserable experiences. In fact, the last time I missed a flight, I actually thought "man, I wish I had overslept by another half an hour, because just knowing that I had missed my flight would have been much less stressful."
That in itself is an experience I would happily spend a significant time waiting to avoid, even before you add in the inconvenience of actually missing the flight.
posted by firechicago at 6:18 PM on August 20, 2017 [32 favorites]
That in itself is an experience I would happily spend a significant time waiting to avoid, even before you add in the inconvenience of actually missing the flight.
posted by firechicago at 6:18 PM on August 20, 2017 [32 favorites]
Am I the only one who doesn't mind waiting in an airport? Hanging out in the airport bar, or just in a seat with a book and a snack, anticipating the flight coming up and the destination on the other end is pleasant, at least to me.
posted by Imperfect at 6:23 PM on August 20, 2017 [103 favorites]
posted by Imperfect at 6:23 PM on August 20, 2017 [103 favorites]
I get to the airport WELL in advance, as I can sit in a seat with a book completely stress free knowing I only have one more (possibly world upsetting) hurdle and then onto the plane. Travel nowadays is all about downside risk management.
posted by parki at 6:26 PM on August 20, 2017 [43 favorites]
posted by parki at 6:26 PM on August 20, 2017 [43 favorites]
Yeah, "if you have missed a flight, you're probably kind of crap with time and planning" is a more accurate truism in my experience. Is bringing a book too much? I can kill an hour with just my thoughts and imagination....
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:28 PM on August 20, 2017 [25 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:28 PM on August 20, 2017 [25 favorites]
I often think this about academic article submissions. I have colleagues who have never had a journal article rejected. And I know colleagues who submit about 10 rejected articles to every successful one. I think the sweet spot for making sure you are sufficiently innovative, and that you don't waste too much time polishing your writing unnecessarily, but at the same time have something worth saying that is readable and based on robust evidence, is somewhere in the middle. Yet I still feel like it's some kind of embarrassing failure to get a rejection.
posted by lollusc at 6:32 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by lollusc at 6:32 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
If you spend so much time in airports that missing a flight is itself not an unusual risk, you're spending too much time in airports.
I get what this is saying, but man, that example is just…off.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 6:34 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
I get what this is saying, but man, that example is just…off.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 6:34 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
I will gladly trade the stress of running late for a flight for the relative calm of a "wasted" hour or so in the chairs at the gate.
In the late 90s I worked for someone who prided themselves on being almost-flight-missing late. After traveling with him a couple of times and arriving to my seat dripping in sweat from running through the airport I began to tell him that the flight was an hour earlier than it actually was. That worked until he caught on.
posted by bz at 6:39 PM on August 20, 2017 [28 favorites]
In the late 90s I worked for someone who prided themselves on being almost-flight-missing late. After traveling with him a couple of times and arriving to my seat dripping in sweat from running through the airport I began to tell him that the flight was an hour earlier than it actually was. That worked until he caught on.
posted by bz at 6:39 PM on August 20, 2017 [28 favorites]
Yeah, that just suggests that making the flight or not has no actual consequences beyond the flight itself. That is absolutely not the case for me - at least on the way out to my events. Missing a flight can be a serious, serious issue.
I take a bajillion flights a year, and while I do trust paring down my timing at my home airport because it is NEVER all that busy and with TSA Pre the security line is never more than 8-12 people long even during the 'daily LA/San Fran commuter rush hour at 0600-0700 I'd not take those kinds of risks at any other airport. I regularly get up 2 hours before my flight because I know I can be at my gate inside 45 minutes from pulling my arse out of bed, which gives me 15 minutes of Uber/Lyft cock up, and enough fudge factor for me.
On the way back, though, or anywhere else I have work to do so why not do it at the airport? It is zero difference to me.
posted by Brockles at 6:43 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
I take a bajillion flights a year, and while I do trust paring down my timing at my home airport because it is NEVER all that busy and with TSA Pre the security line is never more than 8-12 people long even during the 'daily LA/San Fran commuter rush hour at 0600-0700 I'd not take those kinds of risks at any other airport. I regularly get up 2 hours before my flight because I know I can be at my gate inside 45 minutes from pulling my arse out of bed, which gives me 15 minutes of Uber/Lyft cock up, and enough fudge factor for me.
On the way back, though, or anywhere else I have work to do so why not do it at the airport? It is zero difference to me.
posted by Brockles at 6:43 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
My entire life philosophy can probably be extrapolated from the observation that I am usually *that guy* - the guy running across the terminal to wheedle a boarding pass from the folks at the ticket counter after the deadline for check-in, the guy who cinches his backpack down and *sprints* to the gate to make his flight.
There's really no good excuse, except for maybe that I'm fleet enough of foot that I've only ever missed one flight that I can remember. Every time the above scenario plays out I tell myself that *next time* I will leave home several hours in advance to ensure a leisurely airport experience, but it never seems to happen.
posted by killdevil at 6:43 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
There's really no good excuse, except for maybe that I'm fleet enough of foot that I've only ever missed one flight that I can remember. Every time the above scenario plays out I tell myself that *next time* I will leave home several hours in advance to ensure a leisurely airport experience, but it never seems to happen.
posted by killdevil at 6:43 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Nobody's as busy as they think or say they are.
posted by davebush at 6:44 PM on August 20, 2017 [26 favorites]
posted by davebush at 6:44 PM on August 20, 2017 [26 favorites]
If you've never farted while receiving a massage, you're not giving yourself enough space to relax.
If you've never farted while giving a massage, may God bless you for all your days.
posted by duffell at 6:47 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
If you've never farted while giving a massage, may God bless you for all your days.
posted by duffell at 6:47 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
I felt mildly incensed after having read the flight aphorism, before reading the actual article, and now I feel like there should be a statement about having an emotional reaction to headlines before reading the article.
The flight thing is wrong if you don’t spend any appreciable amount of time using air travel. If you’re flying out of a place where planes are on time, like my local airport which is a hub for no one and the morning flights are within a half hour of scheduled departure 90% of the time, it’s worth wasting a few minutes. But if you’re flying out of New York or Chicago and, frankly, a plane never took off early because that’s not how it works, and they nearly always take off late.... sure, chance it.
I might be biased by the fact the last flight I took was delayed by 40 minutes, every 40 minutes, until they finally admitted my home airport wouldn’t have anyone to unload our luggage so it’d actually be taking off at 7AM the next day... hell, I should have not even tried to show up.
posted by mikeh at 6:48 PM on August 20, 2017
The flight thing is wrong if you don’t spend any appreciable amount of time using air travel. If you’re flying out of a place where planes are on time, like my local airport which is a hub for no one and the morning flights are within a half hour of scheduled departure 90% of the time, it’s worth wasting a few minutes. But if you’re flying out of New York or Chicago and, frankly, a plane never took off early because that’s not how it works, and they nearly always take off late.... sure, chance it.
I might be biased by the fact the last flight I took was delayed by 40 minutes, every 40 minutes, until they finally admitted my home airport wouldn’t have anyone to unload our luggage so it’d actually be taking off at 7AM the next day... hell, I should have not even tried to show up.
posted by mikeh at 6:48 PM on August 20, 2017
If you've never had a post deleted you're not posting enough.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 6:53 PM on August 20, 2017 [56 favorites]
posted by the man of twists and turns at 6:53 PM on August 20, 2017 [56 favorites]
If only we lived in a society where one one-hundredth of the ink spilled on the horrors of waiting for / missing a plane were spent on the horrors of waiting for / missing a city bus.
posted by tivalasvegas at 6:54 PM on August 20, 2017 [24 favorites]
posted by tivalasvegas at 6:54 PM on August 20, 2017 [24 favorites]
From the 1st article:
If you’ve never been rejected, you’re not asking enough. (The easiest to state, the hardest to practice.)
Re-write: If you've never been rejected, you've truly had a bizarre, ungodly life.
posted by Philipschall at 6:55 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
If you’ve never been rejected, you’re not asking enough. (The easiest to state, the hardest to practice.)
Re-write: If you've never been rejected, you've truly had a bizarre, ungodly life.
posted by Philipschall at 6:55 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
If you've never slept in an airport, you're spending too much time planning.
posted by Phssthpok at 6:55 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Phssthpok at 6:55 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
If you spend so much time in airports that missing a flight is itself not an unusual risk, you're spending too much time in airports.
YES THANK YOU I AM AWARE THAT MY JOB HAS SOME ISSUES
posted by bile and syntax at 6:57 PM on August 20, 2017 [15 favorites]
YES THANK YOU I AM AWARE THAT MY JOB HAS SOME ISSUES
posted by bile and syntax at 6:57 PM on August 20, 2017 [15 favorites]
The secret is when you're running late for a flight, you don't stress.
Clearly you've never had a flight where you need to be somewhere at the other end by a certain time, with zero possibility of rescheduling. Only a small percentage (less than 20%) of my outbound flights are like that. And connecting flights mean the consequences of missing the first one is huge and there is a good chunk of stress involved for me if plans go astray.
There isn't always a flight the next day. I've had flights cancelled where there wasn't one for 4 days. We had to drive to Chicago through a snowstorm for 6 hours to make up for a missed flight from Buffalo. Not everyone's flying experience is at all analogous to other people's and the idea that I could 'just take the next one' for anything other than the minority of my travel is completely incorrect.
posted by Brockles at 6:59 PM on August 20, 2017 [27 favorites]
Clearly you've never had a flight where you need to be somewhere at the other end by a certain time, with zero possibility of rescheduling. Only a small percentage (less than 20%) of my outbound flights are like that. And connecting flights mean the consequences of missing the first one is huge and there is a good chunk of stress involved for me if plans go astray.
There isn't always a flight the next day. I've had flights cancelled where there wasn't one for 4 days. We had to drive to Chicago through a snowstorm for 6 hours to make up for a missed flight from Buffalo. Not everyone's flying experience is at all analogous to other people's and the idea that I could 'just take the next one' for anything other than the minority of my travel is completely incorrect.
posted by Brockles at 6:59 PM on August 20, 2017 [27 favorites]
Best comment inside the OP's link:
If you’ve never hit the ground while skydiving, you’re opening your parachute too early.
posted by mono blanco at 7:00 PM on August 20, 2017 [49 favorites]
If you’ve never hit the ground while skydiving, you’re opening your parachute too early.
posted by mono blanco at 7:00 PM on August 20, 2017 [49 favorites]
Okay I was going to complain about the airport one because only people who hate books (and probably have no children who routinely scream in their ear) object to spending a quiet hour sitting in an airport with a book with nothing they can do about the fact that they're being forced -- forced! -- to read, but then I got to:
"If you’ve never been robbed, you’re spending too much time locking doors."
DUDE. IT TAKES APPROXIMATELY HALF A SECOND TO LOCK A DOOR. Being robbed is an intensely traumatizing experience it can take YEARS to get over and feel safe in your home again. HOW IS SPENDING HALF A SECOND LOCKING THE DOOR EVERY DAY WORSE THAN BEING ROBBED?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:00 PM on August 20, 2017 [45 favorites]
"If you’ve never been robbed, you’re spending too much time locking doors."
DUDE. IT TAKES APPROXIMATELY HALF A SECOND TO LOCK A DOOR. Being robbed is an intensely traumatizing experience it can take YEARS to get over and feel safe in your home again. HOW IS SPENDING HALF A SECOND LOCKING THE DOOR EVERY DAY WORSE THAN BEING ROBBED?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:00 PM on August 20, 2017 [45 favorites]
If you never took an incomplete, you didn't take enough credit hours.
posted by Caxton1476 at 7:02 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Caxton1476 at 7:02 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
Dad Suggests Arriving At Airport 14 Hours Early
(in its entirety)
(in its entirety)
CARLISLE, MA—Planning for his family’s Saturday evening flight to Florida, local dad Walter Holbrook suggested arriving at the airport at least 14 hours early, sources confirmed. "The plane leaves at 6:45 at night, and it takes a little while to park the car and get through security, so we should plan to get there no later than 4:45 a.m.," said Holbrook, adding that it would probably be smart to add an extra "eight to nine hours" to the car commute in case of traffic. "That should give us more than enough time to print our boarding passes, check in luggage, and get settled at the gate. Then we’ll have 10 hours to get food if anyone’s hungry.” At press time, Holbrook had reportedly revised the arrival time to 3:45 a.m. "just to be safe."posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:02 PM on August 20, 2017 [28 favorites]
If you've never negotiated for a raise, you're working for less than you're worth.
posted by Miko at 7:03 PM on August 20, 2017 [21 favorites]
posted by Miko at 7:03 PM on August 20, 2017 [21 favorites]
Clearly you've never had a flight where you need to be somewhere at the other end by a certain time, with zero possibility of rescheduling. Only a small percentage (less than 20%) of my outbound flights are like that.
This. I regularly do international flights for work where waiting till the next day is absolutely not an option. Many of those routes are long hauls with only one flight a day as well, so if I miss it I'm screwed.
Personally I like arriving early - I usually go to the lounge or find a quiet corner, charge my phone, and maybe get a pre-flight drink and read for a bit or plane-spot. Not to mention that getting sweaty and gross running through the airport is probably the worst thing to do before a long overnight flight.
posted by photo guy at 7:16 PM on August 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
This. I regularly do international flights for work where waiting till the next day is absolutely not an option. Many of those routes are long hauls with only one flight a day as well, so if I miss it I'm screwed.
Personally I like arriving early - I usually go to the lounge or find a quiet corner, charge my phone, and maybe get a pre-flight drink and read for a bit or plane-spot. Not to mention that getting sweaty and gross running through the airport is probably the worst thing to do before a long overnight flight.
posted by photo guy at 7:16 PM on August 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
Or you're good at finding ways to make the negatives less negative, and sometimes positive. I get places early, and then I bring a book or my knitting/crocheting, and then the time waiting around is not wasted at all, and is in fact a space I can carve out for some self care, so it's even better than if I'd gotten there exactly on time. I admit I overprepare, but I also use my overpreparedness to my benefit. I'm never late with an assignment because I plan everything out very carefully--including my self care routines, which are extensive, and I seem to be the only one in my friend group who ever has time for it because I manage my schoolwork so well.
I think the point is "if you try too hard, you accrue negative experiences that outweigh, or at least diminish, the expected positive experience," but it underestimates how DAMN HARD we try-hards will try to also combat those negative experiences, and in many cases, succeed.
posted by brook horse at 7:19 PM on August 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
I think the point is "if you try too hard, you accrue negative experiences that outweigh, or at least diminish, the expected positive experience," but it underestimates how DAMN HARD we try-hards will try to also combat those negative experiences, and in many cases, succeed.
posted by brook horse at 7:19 PM on August 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
If you've never had a comment deleted on MetaFilter, you're being too polite.
posted by ODiV at 7:21 PM on August 20, 2017 [28 favorites]
posted by ODiV at 7:21 PM on August 20, 2017 [28 favorites]
Not everyone's flying experience is at all analogous to other people's and the idea that I could 'just take the next one' for anything other than the minority of my travel is completely incorrect. Oh god yes.
And you know, sometimes, people have to travel all day to get to the airport in the first place. Not everyone is flying from LAX to LAG or ORD to SFO with a quick cab home and every major carrier with dozens of flights all day. Sometimes you're flying ORD to ASY (or another airport with only 50 odd flights in the week) and you had to get 300 miles from southern Illinois to Chicago to catch the flight in the first place.
I guess the point that one should view one's own time and one's own self as valuable is good. But "go ahead a just take the next plane" has a great may problematic unexamined assumptions.
posted by crush at 7:24 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
And you know, sometimes, people have to travel all day to get to the airport in the first place. Not everyone is flying from LAX to LAG or ORD to SFO with a quick cab home and every major carrier with dozens of flights all day. Sometimes you're flying ORD to ASY (or another airport with only 50 odd flights in the week) and you had to get 300 miles from southern Illinois to Chicago to catch the flight in the first place.
I guess the point that one should view one's own time and one's own self as valuable is good. But "go ahead a just take the next plane" has a great may problematic unexamined assumptions.
posted by crush at 7:24 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
Oh, there's definitely a high degree of overlap between the anticipated audience for this article and the "the world will collapse if my time is not precisely optimized, I'm very important" crowd.
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:30 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:30 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
When I travel internationally I try to be at the airport about 4 hours in advance.
Just a few months ago on a trip for work, I told myself "ah, well I might as well sleep a bit more, and get there merely 2.5 hours in advance," and of course I didn't miss my flight.
My flight was cancelled by United and rather than hopping on an EARLIER flight with plenty of room that I could've taken had I gotten there an hour earlier, I spent 6 hours at the airport followed by a flight that was 3 hours longer due to its connections. I must admit that it's nicer, though, to fly Lufthansa instead of United, but the time sink kinda sucked.
So even relaxing my typically neurotic level of get-there-earliness cost me a half-day in Madrid where I could be free to do what I wanted before work stuff intervened, and I could've done something fun. Thanks, but I think I'm going to go back to my borderline excessive punctuality.
posted by tclark at 7:34 PM on August 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
Just a few months ago on a trip for work, I told myself "ah, well I might as well sleep a bit more, and get there merely 2.5 hours in advance," and of course I didn't miss my flight.
My flight was cancelled by United and rather than hopping on an EARLIER flight with plenty of room that I could've taken had I gotten there an hour earlier, I spent 6 hours at the airport followed by a flight that was 3 hours longer due to its connections. I must admit that it's nicer, though, to fly Lufthansa instead of United, but the time sink kinda sucked.
So even relaxing my typically neurotic level of get-there-earliness cost me a half-day in Madrid where I could be free to do what I wanted before work stuff intervened, and I could've done something fun. Thanks, but I think I'm going to go back to my borderline excessive punctuality.
posted by tclark at 7:34 PM on August 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
Hanging out in the airport bar
If you've never slept in an airport, you're spending too much time planning.
If you've never missed a flight because you spent too much time in an airport bar on a layover and fell asleep in the airport then you're not me and you maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol.
posted by bendy at 7:37 PM on August 20, 2017 [43 favorites]
If you've never slept in an airport, you're spending too much time planning.
If you've never missed a flight because you spent too much time in an airport bar on a layover and fell asleep in the airport then you're not me and you maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol.
posted by bendy at 7:37 PM on August 20, 2017 [43 favorites]
"Or you're good at finding ways to make the negatives less negative, and sometimes positive. I get places early, and then I bring a book or my knitting/crocheting, and then the time waiting around is not wasted at all, and is in fact a space I can carve out for some self care, so it's even better than if I'd gotten there exactly on time."
Totally. Yeah, I spend a lot of time over-planning things, but I enjoy planning (it's like solving a puzzle!) and I find having a Plan B extremely relaxing, and it makes me smug that people always enjoy things I plan because even when there's a catastrophe, there are plans B and C and everything smoothly clicks over to the new plan. And I have carried a book on my person since I was about 10 and got used to arriving everywhere ten minutes early with my hyper-punctual mother and then sitting in the car on the street reading so as not to be awkward and weird by arriving too early, and these day with kindles and phones it's so EASY to carry something great to read. Your early time is entirely unobligated! Nobody can make you do anything! You're just there to wait, and you can do anything you want with your waiting time!
My husband is all, "We're ten minutes early, we should have left later!" and I look at him like he's crazy because we would just be doing dishes or some shit like that, it's so much better so sit in the quiet* in the car reading a book or playing a stupid phone game.
The other thing I totally don't get about his attitude is that he hates to be early, but he falls completely apart if we're late and miss the start of a movie/our reservation/a flight/whatever. Whereas I ridiculously overplan and make sure to be early to everything, but if I AM late and miss something, I'm generally like, "Oh well, sometimes things happen." (When I'm cutting it close and MIGHT make it, I get tense and snappish, but once it's clear I'm going to be late I'm pretty shruggo.) He's like "GAAAAH WE ARE MISSING IT." I don't get it. You can EITHER plan to be early and complain about being late, OR run everything with to-the-instant timing and shrug when you're late, but you can't both have to-the-instant timing AND be upset you're late! Like, if you know being late makes you really upset, why don't you plan to be early? After 16 years, this still makes no sense to me.
*Or at least it would be quiet, if someone weren't complaining for ten solid minutes about how terrible it is to be ten minutes early to something.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:42 PM on August 20, 2017 [22 favorites]
Totally. Yeah, I spend a lot of time over-planning things, but I enjoy planning (it's like solving a puzzle!) and I find having a Plan B extremely relaxing, and it makes me smug that people always enjoy things I plan because even when there's a catastrophe, there are plans B and C and everything smoothly clicks over to the new plan. And I have carried a book on my person since I was about 10 and got used to arriving everywhere ten minutes early with my hyper-punctual mother and then sitting in the car on the street reading so as not to be awkward and weird by arriving too early, and these day with kindles and phones it's so EASY to carry something great to read. Your early time is entirely unobligated! Nobody can make you do anything! You're just there to wait, and you can do anything you want with your waiting time!
My husband is all, "We're ten minutes early, we should have left later!" and I look at him like he's crazy because we would just be doing dishes or some shit like that, it's so much better so sit in the quiet* in the car reading a book or playing a stupid phone game.
The other thing I totally don't get about his attitude is that he hates to be early, but he falls completely apart if we're late and miss the start of a movie/our reservation/a flight/whatever. Whereas I ridiculously overplan and make sure to be early to everything, but if I AM late and miss something, I'm generally like, "Oh well, sometimes things happen." (When I'm cutting it close and MIGHT make it, I get tense and snappish, but once it's clear I'm going to be late I'm pretty shruggo.) He's like "GAAAAH WE ARE MISSING IT." I don't get it. You can EITHER plan to be early and complain about being late, OR run everything with to-the-instant timing and shrug when you're late, but you can't both have to-the-instant timing AND be upset you're late! Like, if you know being late makes you really upset, why don't you plan to be early? After 16 years, this still makes no sense to me.
*Or at least it would be quiet, if someone weren't complaining for ten solid minutes about how terrible it is to be ten minutes early to something.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:42 PM on August 20, 2017 [22 favorites]
Also, like, I'm chronically ill. Half the time, I can't DO anything but plan. Seriously, whenever I'm too tired to do anything productive, or even anything enjoyable, I just... plan. Plan my day, or projects I want to start, or trips I'm going to take, or books I want to read and how I'm going to acquire them (yes, I went through all 450+ books on my to-read list and marked which ones were at my library, which ones I owned, and which ones my friends owned, because I had nothing better I was physically capable of doing).
There's the assumption that you're spending time planning when you have better things to be doing, and I... definitely have better things to be doing, but can't do them, so hey, might as well plan out that roadtrip I want to take 4 years from now.
posted by brook horse at 7:43 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
There's the assumption that you're spending time planning when you have better things to be doing, and I... definitely have better things to be doing, but can't do them, so hey, might as well plan out that roadtrip I want to take 4 years from now.
posted by brook horse at 7:43 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
If you haven't got on the very next flight from Paris to New York by convincing airport medical services in very poor French, mostly just gestures, that you are on your way back for an emergency brain tumor surgery, then you're not me.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:47 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:47 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
Just eat a big pot cookie and get on the plane.
posted by vrakatar at 7:49 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by vrakatar at 7:49 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
I live in a fairly small city without many flights and I'm damn sure going to make my flight because there might not be another one. Fortunately, we live 20 minutes from the airport by car so it's not that hard to get there on time.
posted by octothorpe at 7:56 PM on August 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by octothorpe at 7:56 PM on August 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
I find running late to be stressful, whereas getting there early just means some time reading. My calculus might be different if there were children involved, I don't know.
I have had trips where I was not on any schedule, so missing a flight or being bumped wouldn't be more than a minor inconvenience. But your typical work or family trip that is tightly scheduled just doesn't have the space for a day-long delay from being too disorganized to show up on time.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:00 PM on August 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
I have had trips where I was not on any schedule, so missing a flight or being bumped wouldn't be more than a minor inconvenience. But your typical work or family trip that is tightly scheduled just doesn't have the space for a day-long delay from being too disorganized to show up on time.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:00 PM on August 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: all about downside risk management
posted by genpfault at 8:10 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by genpfault at 8:10 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
If you never get scammed into giving someone food stamps or disability payments who didn't really need them, your welfare programs are denying help to people who genuinely need and deserve it.
posted by straight at 8:30 PM on August 20, 2017 [67 favorites]
posted by straight at 8:30 PM on August 20, 2017 [67 favorites]
Right, so...lots of examples where this advice is laughably wrong. But there's still a kernel of truth there. Beckett said it better. "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
posted by mono blanco at 8:31 PM on August 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mono blanco at 8:31 PM on August 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
If you’ve never hit the ground while skydiving, you’re opening your parachute too early.
Actually, if you've never hit the ground while skydiving, you're not skydiving.
posted by storybored at 8:42 PM on August 20, 2017 [11 favorites]
Actually, if you've never hit the ground while skydiving, you're not skydiving.
posted by storybored at 8:42 PM on August 20, 2017 [11 favorites]
If you can read this you've never looked at an eclipse long enough.
posted by sammyo at 8:46 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 8:46 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
If your browser doesn't periodically grind to halt, then you don't have enough tabs open.
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:51 PM on August 20, 2017 [26 favorites]
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:51 PM on August 20, 2017 [26 favorites]
If you've never shit your pants, you haven't had nearly enough sugar-free gummi worms. *dead-eyed stare* Have some more. You wouldn't want to be... impolite.
posted by duffell at 9:01 PM on August 20, 2017 [14 favorites]
posted by duffell at 9:01 PM on August 20, 2017 [14 favorites]
If only we lived in a society where one one-hundredth of the ink spilled on the horrors of waiting for / missing a plane were spent on the horrors of waiting for / missing a city bus.
This song's for you.
posted by kaibutsu at 9:04 PM on August 20, 2017
This song's for you.
posted by kaibutsu at 9:04 PM on August 20, 2017
If minimizing your wait time at an airport is more important than keeping your schedule, then you're probably shitty at meeting up for lunch.
(did I do that right?)
posted by bl1nk at 9:15 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
(did I do that right?)
posted by bl1nk at 9:15 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
If you demand people show up three fucking hours before the wheels-up time for an international flight, then you could be LAX.
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:18 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:18 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Whatever you do, don't be that person who insists that they have to cut ahead in line to the ticket agent because you're running late for their flight while neglecting to understand that the airline in question only has one route from this airport that is served by flights hours apart and thus everyone in front of you is actually waiting for the same flight.
posted by ckape at 9:26 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by ckape at 9:26 PM on August 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
Man, enough of this telling me I'm limited since I'm not risking "being wrong in both directions" [paraphrased]
Hey Umesh and acolytes, with your airport example, you know it's a bit limiting to frame things as only a binary situation, right? From where I stand, the recursive perspective is far more instructive:
Hostadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hostadter's Law.
posted by Theophrastus Johnson at 9:44 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Hey Umesh and acolytes, with your airport example, you know it's a bit limiting to frame things as only a binary situation, right? From where I stand, the recursive perspective is far more instructive:
Hostadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hostadter's Law.
posted by Theophrastus Johnson at 9:44 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
But if you’re flying out of New York or Chicago and, frankly, a plane never took off early because that’s not how it works, and they nearly always take off late.... sure, chance it.
I feel like I remember encountering this policy a couple days ago, and now I wonder, were the researchers, by chance, Chicago economists?
posted by pwnguin at 9:46 PM on August 20, 2017
I feel like I remember encountering this policy a couple days ago, and now I wonder, were the researchers, by chance, Chicago economists?
posted by pwnguin at 9:46 PM on August 20, 2017
I like hanging around the airport. I can't go in those little airport stores otherwise any more!
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:07 PM on August 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:07 PM on August 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
If you've never been told you're biologically unsuited for your chosen career, you're probably
Ahahaha I got too depressed to continue this joke, carry on
posted by potrzebie at 10:18 PM on August 20, 2017 [16 favorites]
Ahahaha I got too depressed to continue this joke, carry on
posted by potrzebie at 10:18 PM on August 20, 2017 [16 favorites]
one time, when i was a stupid kid...i had a several week long wilderness trip. when i got back to civ, i went to the airport with plenty of time to spare. then, the woman at checkin looked confused and said, "we can't find your reservation, let me check with my boss. so she comes back ten minutes later and says, "sir, your reservation is for tomorrow."
shit.
posted by j_curiouser at 10:25 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
shit.
posted by j_curiouser at 10:25 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
LOL, yes, j_curiouser, I once got there 14 hours early for my flight because I swapped AM and PM. D'oh. Luckily I picked the early and not the late and was able to stand by, but I missed class.
I also once made a reservation for a month later than intended. I really shouldn't be allowed to book flights.
posted by potrzebie at 10:29 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
I also once made a reservation for a month later than intended. I really shouldn't be allowed to book flights.
posted by potrzebie at 10:29 PM on August 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Urban legend says that when first developing rockets for the US, Wernher von Braun would say "If you aren't blowing up rockets, then you aren't trying hard enough," but he stopped saying that when they started doing manned flights.
posted by eye of newt at 11:14 PM on August 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by eye of newt at 11:14 PM on August 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
My new thing is "don't book a morning departure unless there's absolutely no other choice." Solves the tardiness problem. /notamorningperson
posted by mantecol at 11:18 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by mantecol at 11:18 PM on August 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
If none of your employees/students/subordinates were driven to the point of being physically or mentally breaking, you're not driving enough.
Think of all the lost, non-maximised productivity.
[Used to be real, e.g. slavery, and still real in toxic workplaces, including modern-day slavery.]
posted by runcifex at 11:27 PM on August 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
Think of all the lost, non-maximised productivity.
[Used to be real, e.g. slavery, and still real in toxic workplaces, including modern-day slavery.]
posted by runcifex at 11:27 PM on August 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
I also once made a reservation for a month later than intended.
I've done that! It was not inexpensive to fix it, because I didn't realize it until I got to the airport (and really need to not wait a month to go) but I did manage to fix it for a lot less than the $1600 that the airline initially tried to get me to pay to fix it. (domestic flight, not holiday season or anything)
posted by aubilenon at 11:40 PM on August 20, 2017
I've done that! It was not inexpensive to fix it, because I didn't realize it until I got to the airport (and really need to not wait a month to go) but I did manage to fix it for a lot less than the $1600 that the airline initially tried to get me to pay to fix it. (domestic flight, not holiday season or anything)
posted by aubilenon at 11:40 PM on August 20, 2017
One of my worst fears is that I'd be on my way to something time-sensitive and important, especially a flight, and on the way for some reason I'm accosted by a street spruiker type who will NOT LEAVE ME ALONE and ends up delaying me and I miss the damn flight. Or I won't be allowed to leave the tram/bus/etc because people won't let me through to the door and again, delayed forever.
My parents have flown internationally about half their lives, especially now that they're retired (I think they're on a plane right now) and I've been flying since I was a literal baby (first flight was when I was about a month old). So I was pretty much raised in airports. I understand them better than I do most places.
My parents have missed flights before, mostly because they misunderstood the itinerary (got the wrong day/time, for example), though there was one time where my mum had grabbed my sister's passport by mistake and even though my sister rushed through the British tube system to get home, get Mum's passport, and run they still missed the flight. I've never missed a flight out of my own tardiness (probably because of the aforementioned fears) but I have missed connecting flights because the first flight was delayed. Thankfully I haven't run into issues getting on the next flight, but it's no fun.
A couple of years ago my parents and I were enroute from JB to Singapore to catch a flight to the UK, with a stopover in Sri Lanka. We gave ourselves ample time to get to the airport (Causeway jams woo) but very soon after we left the house Dad started throwing up and being very sick. He'd had heart surgery a few years before as well as cancer in the past, so we thought he was having a heart attack. We redirected to the clinic (thankfully next door to our house), he did an ECG scan, the doctor there thought he had erratic heart behaviour. The hospital he goes to for his heart & cancer stuff is in Singapore, so we went straight there, letting his cardiologist know that he was on the way. We went to the hospital, I let my sister (who we were seeing in the UK) know what's going on, and planned for possibly missing our flight.
Eventually my dad got checked out and turns out he didn't have a heart problem, so we got the all clear on going on any flight. We went to my cousin's place near the hospital and tried to look into rebooking the inbound flight for the next day, or getting a different flight into Sri Lanka at a later time since our SL-UK flight was the next day. Problem is, the way this airline worked, if you missed even ONE leg of your flight, your ENTIRE ITINERARY would be cancelled. So we couldn't even do the arrive-in-Sri Lanka-later thing because then the rest of our flights were moot! Not even for medical reasons.
My cousin is like my dad in that they're both rather forceful people on the phone, though my dad can sometimes be more of a muddled mess to negotiate with. So we got my cousin to negotiate on our behalf and let them know that we'll do our best to make it to the airport on time, please wait for us.
THEN we had a traffic jam. Exactly WHEN we really didn't need it. Some sort of accident or construction on the road. GAAAAAAAAH.
Somehow or other we managed to get to the airport like 5 seconds before they closed checkin. They let us check in, Dad disappeared to get soup and didn't show up till right at the end of boarding time (I could have murdered him). And then for the rest of the trip both Mum and I got seriously ill but my DAD ended up being hunky dory, what the hell.
posted by divabat at 11:44 PM on August 20, 2017 [10 favorites]
My parents have flown internationally about half their lives, especially now that they're retired (I think they're on a plane right now) and I've been flying since I was a literal baby (first flight was when I was about a month old). So I was pretty much raised in airports. I understand them better than I do most places.
My parents have missed flights before, mostly because they misunderstood the itinerary (got the wrong day/time, for example), though there was one time where my mum had grabbed my sister's passport by mistake and even though my sister rushed through the British tube system to get home, get Mum's passport, and run they still missed the flight. I've never missed a flight out of my own tardiness (probably because of the aforementioned fears) but I have missed connecting flights because the first flight was delayed. Thankfully I haven't run into issues getting on the next flight, but it's no fun.
A couple of years ago my parents and I were enroute from JB to Singapore to catch a flight to the UK, with a stopover in Sri Lanka. We gave ourselves ample time to get to the airport (Causeway jams woo) but very soon after we left the house Dad started throwing up and being very sick. He'd had heart surgery a few years before as well as cancer in the past, so we thought he was having a heart attack. We redirected to the clinic (thankfully next door to our house), he did an ECG scan, the doctor there thought he had erratic heart behaviour. The hospital he goes to for his heart & cancer stuff is in Singapore, so we went straight there, letting his cardiologist know that he was on the way. We went to the hospital, I let my sister (who we were seeing in the UK) know what's going on, and planned for possibly missing our flight.
Eventually my dad got checked out and turns out he didn't have a heart problem, so we got the all clear on going on any flight. We went to my cousin's place near the hospital and tried to look into rebooking the inbound flight for the next day, or getting a different flight into Sri Lanka at a later time since our SL-UK flight was the next day. Problem is, the way this airline worked, if you missed even ONE leg of your flight, your ENTIRE ITINERARY would be cancelled. So we couldn't even do the arrive-in-Sri Lanka-later thing because then the rest of our flights were moot! Not even for medical reasons.
My cousin is like my dad in that they're both rather forceful people on the phone, though my dad can sometimes be more of a muddled mess to negotiate with. So we got my cousin to negotiate on our behalf and let them know that we'll do our best to make it to the airport on time, please wait for us.
THEN we had a traffic jam. Exactly WHEN we really didn't need it. Some sort of accident or construction on the road. GAAAAAAAAH.
Somehow or other we managed to get to the airport like 5 seconds before they closed checkin. They let us check in, Dad disappeared to get soup and didn't show up till right at the end of boarding time (I could have murdered him). And then for the rest of the trip both Mum and I got seriously ill but my DAD ended up being hunky dory, what the hell.
posted by divabat at 11:44 PM on August 20, 2017 [10 favorites]
For me the main issue with the canonical example is that it presumes your time at the airport is "wasted" which these days is nonsensical with mobile phones and internet everywhere.
You can stay at home / office and work for that last 20mins before your flight, OR you can casually get to the airport and hour or two early, find a bar / cafe and spend that hour at the airport doing exactly what you were going to do at home. Does it really make a difference if you answer emails, write reports, read metafilter from home or the airport?
Airport time is simply not "wasted" time anymore. Why risk missing a flight when.
He also must have never had a long train/bus ride to get to the airport in the first place, which is more often than not delayed by upto 1 hour.
posted by mary8nne at 11:52 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
You can stay at home / office and work for that last 20mins before your flight, OR you can casually get to the airport and hour or two early, find a bar / cafe and spend that hour at the airport doing exactly what you were going to do at home. Does it really make a difference if you answer emails, write reports, read metafilter from home or the airport?
Airport time is simply not "wasted" time anymore. Why risk missing a flight when.
He also must have never had a long train/bus ride to get to the airport in the first place, which is more often than not delayed by upto 1 hour.
posted by mary8nne at 11:52 PM on August 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
A couple of years ago I set out to catch a Finnish flight from Vassa to Helsinki. I arrived about 2 hours before the flight as per my standard habit and headed from taxi to entrance. And bashed my nose into the automatic doors that refused to open. It was several minutes before somebody turned up to actually open the damn airport and let me in. Then they gave all the waiting passengers a chocolate. Unfortunately not everywhere is like Vassa.
posted by rongorongo at 12:13 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
If only we lived in a society where one one-hundredth of the ink spilled on the horrors of waiting for / missing a plane were spent on the horrors of waiting for / missing a city bus.And this one too of course.
This song's for you.
posted by rongorongo at 12:13 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
If you never go to prison, you're not using the legal system to the fullest.
If you never die of stomach cramps, you're not exploring the food world enough.
If you never kill newborns and drink their blood, you're not savouring the flavour of enough religious sentiment.
This could go on and on...
posted by Laotic at 12:30 AM on August 21, 2017 [7 favorites]
If you never die of stomach cramps, you're not exploring the food world enough.
If you never kill newborns and drink their blood, you're not savouring the flavour of enough religious sentiment.
This could go on and on...
posted by Laotic at 12:30 AM on August 21, 2017 [7 favorites]
If you fly often, you should miss more flights entirely, because you are fucking up our atmosphere.
posted by pracowity at 2:22 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 2:22 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: If you haven't been questioned by someone 'What do you do all day?' you probably aren't commenting enough.
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:53 AM on August 21, 2017
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:53 AM on August 21, 2017
I take trains as much as possible. Get there twenty minutes ahead of time, no security check, sit in seat, prepare for trip, reach destination, get out, approximately five minutes later you're no longer in the station. Depends on station size. Five minutes is a serious overreach in a lot of places, but in big cities it might be five to ten.
I do this for Paris to Nice, which is a 5.5 hour TGV ride, and people are always like, "but it's only an hour flight!" Assuming everything goes well, which is a big assumption.
Time it takes to get to Orly: one hour (this gives you a bit of wiggle room, but not much)
Minimum time for check-in and security: one hour
Flight time: one hour
Get luggage, if you have more than a carry-on: half an hour
Time it takes to get to Nice city center: one hour
Total time for taking that one-hour flight: 4.5 hours
Other considerations: on a flight, a carry-on has all sorts of restrictions. On trains, I've seen people bring their stuff in grocery bags. You want to hang four bags off your arms while wheeling an oversize trolley or two? No one will stop you.
Also on a flight, you're stuck in your seat. On a train, you can get up any time you want, and eat and drink in the restaurant. Plus you can hop off at the stops along the way to breathe fresh air for a minute if you like. Plus you see everything along the way!
My trip to Norway this summer was the first time in ten years I'd taken a plane. The whole experience reminded me why I'd rather spend extra time in trains. And that was with my approach of making it as enjoyable as possible too – it was fun exploring the duty-free shops, but next time I'm seriously considering taking trains and ferries instead. As it was the train rides from Bodø to Trondheim and Trondheim to Oslo are up there among my favorite travel memories ever. But! The flight from Bodø to Leknes in a prop plane was KICK-ASS. That, I would do again. The ferry is pretty gorgeous too – just different amazing experiences.
I have carried a book on my person since I was about 10 and got used to arriving everywhere ten minutes early with my hyper-punctual mother and then sitting in the car on the street reading so as not to be awkward and weird by arriving too early
Culture shock story: I too do this and it blows people's minds in France. In the twenty years I've been here people have never stopped being super-impressed by my punctuality. The hard part is, due to politeness, not being able to tell them unless/until they become close/trusted enough that they'll handle the "I get there early and wait" explanation well. There are some... odd... ideas around waiting for others here. They coincide with the similarly odd ideas around being nice. (Feel free to ask me by MeMail if you're curious, don't want to derail.)
posted by fraula at 3:08 AM on August 21, 2017 [6 favorites]
I do this for Paris to Nice, which is a 5.5 hour TGV ride, and people are always like, "but it's only an hour flight!" Assuming everything goes well, which is a big assumption.
Time it takes to get to Orly: one hour (this gives you a bit of wiggle room, but not much)
Minimum time for check-in and security: one hour
Flight time: one hour
Get luggage, if you have more than a carry-on: half an hour
Time it takes to get to Nice city center: one hour
Total time for taking that one-hour flight: 4.5 hours
Other considerations: on a flight, a carry-on has all sorts of restrictions. On trains, I've seen people bring their stuff in grocery bags. You want to hang four bags off your arms while wheeling an oversize trolley or two? No one will stop you.
Also on a flight, you're stuck in your seat. On a train, you can get up any time you want, and eat and drink in the restaurant. Plus you can hop off at the stops along the way to breathe fresh air for a minute if you like. Plus you see everything along the way!
My trip to Norway this summer was the first time in ten years I'd taken a plane. The whole experience reminded me why I'd rather spend extra time in trains. And that was with my approach of making it as enjoyable as possible too – it was fun exploring the duty-free shops, but next time I'm seriously considering taking trains and ferries instead. As it was the train rides from Bodø to Trondheim and Trondheim to Oslo are up there among my favorite travel memories ever. But! The flight from Bodø to Leknes in a prop plane was KICK-ASS. That, I would do again. The ferry is pretty gorgeous too – just different amazing experiences.
I have carried a book on my person since I was about 10 and got used to arriving everywhere ten minutes early with my hyper-punctual mother and then sitting in the car on the street reading so as not to be awkward and weird by arriving too early
Culture shock story: I too do this and it blows people's minds in France. In the twenty years I've been here people have never stopped being super-impressed by my punctuality. The hard part is, due to politeness, not being able to tell them unless/until they become close/trusted enough that they'll handle the "I get there early and wait" explanation well. There are some... odd... ideas around waiting for others here. They coincide with the similarly odd ideas around being nice. (Feel free to ask me by MeMail if you're curious, don't want to derail.)
posted by fraula at 3:08 AM on August 21, 2017 [6 favorites]
Some of us fly budget carriers, and Ryanair for example charge a hundred quid to rebook you if you miss a flight - that's much more than I usually pay for flights because I book on advance, and only barely more affordable than a last minute ticket to the next flight (which might be several days away) and thus completely financially infeasible for me.
Yes I'm hours early to the airport. I bring a book. No, I've never missed a flight.
posted by Dysk at 3:29 AM on August 21, 2017
Yes I'm hours early to the airport. I bring a book. No, I've never missed a flight.
posted by Dysk at 3:29 AM on August 21, 2017
> We had to drive to Chicago through a snowstorm for 6 hours to make up for a missed flight from Buffalo.
Criminy, dude. That's 100 MPH with maybe one stop for gas.
posted by ardgedee at 3:42 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
Criminy, dude. That's 100 MPH with maybe one stop for gas.
posted by ardgedee at 3:42 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
If you've never been hit by a car, you're crossing the street too fast.
posted by Phssthpok at 4:02 AM on August 21, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Phssthpok at 4:02 AM on August 21, 2017 [4 favorites]
I don't really care about the airport example, but I love these as ways of looking at risk management. I work in a policy analysis role, and I've found that a lot of my colleagues are very good at coming up with long list of potential risks, but are unwilling or unable to realistically assess their probability or impact. As a result, a lot of initiatives are held back because of some extreme edge-case risk that someone has identified, but no-one is willing to take accountability for.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 4:45 AM on August 21, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by sevenyearlurk at 4:45 AM on August 21, 2017 [7 favorites]
If you've never cli
posted by vanar sena at 4:54 AM on August 21, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by vanar sena at 4:54 AM on August 21, 2017 [10 favorites]
Never missed a flight here. Mostly because I have no idea whatsoever what happens when you do, or how to ultimately get back on track to the destination. Do they just say too bad so sad, you have to buy another ticket?
My cardinal rule: never fly on the same day of a business meeting at the other end of the flight. I'd rather not stress about arriving stressed.
posted by yoga at 5:11 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
My cardinal rule: never fly on the same day of a business meeting at the other end of the flight. I'd rather not stress about arriving stressed.
posted by yoga at 5:11 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
Man, that is one lousy analogy for...something? I guess? Not entirely sure what, but neither are the links I guess since they are not entirely agreeing on what the analogy actually means.
Airports are a bridge between the place you are and the place you need to be. They are not generally a destination in themselves, but a way to get from one thing to another. Risking a missed flight not only potentially delays the reward at the far end of that bridge, the thing desired, but automatically adds unnecessary uncertainty to the project, which increases tension. Putting off going to the airport, via this analogy, is suggesting that it's somehow better to invest a small amount of time in something other rather than do what needs to be done. This doesn't account for the wasted effort and added time and money spent should you miss your flight, where you are likely to end up spending far more time in airports, cost yourself extra cash, and/or put out others who are relying on or helping you in your haste or neglect.
The analogy assumes one will make the flight or that one will at least make most flights over time and continue to have enough of them for the few missed to be made up for in time away from airports even as each miss adds ever more time in transit and dealing with missed flights. Given the analogy explicitly states one "must" miss at least one flight, the amount of time and effort involved has increased by at least one "time" and likely a good deal more as a missed flight tends to demand much more resource to make up than catching one on time would.
This is compared to being a bit early, so it isn't a significant additional difficulty, just a minor time differential. In the flight analogy this would be, say, leaving an hour or even a half hour earlier to insure one is on time without uncertainty. Matched against that is any or all the extra work, time, money, uncertainty, and disappointments that may accompany the outcome of that missed flight. Missing one may not be the end of the world, but how many times can it happen before one starts to be seen as unreliable or is just not able to be counted on?
Perhaps though this analogy isn't about a needed flight to get to some end goal, but is a thing done for its own purpose. Well, in that instance I'd suggest that you could spend even less time in airports by not booking flights at all since its clear there is something you find more valuable than whatever the flight might provide. I just can't see any good use for this analogy at all and I'm as big a procrastinator as there is, no stranger to taking risks, and don't like putting unnecessary effort into anything.
posted by gusottertrout at 5:11 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
Airports are a bridge between the place you are and the place you need to be. They are not generally a destination in themselves, but a way to get from one thing to another. Risking a missed flight not only potentially delays the reward at the far end of that bridge, the thing desired, but automatically adds unnecessary uncertainty to the project, which increases tension. Putting off going to the airport, via this analogy, is suggesting that it's somehow better to invest a small amount of time in something other rather than do what needs to be done. This doesn't account for the wasted effort and added time and money spent should you miss your flight, where you are likely to end up spending far more time in airports, cost yourself extra cash, and/or put out others who are relying on or helping you in your haste or neglect.
The analogy assumes one will make the flight or that one will at least make most flights over time and continue to have enough of them for the few missed to be made up for in time away from airports even as each miss adds ever more time in transit and dealing with missed flights. Given the analogy explicitly states one "must" miss at least one flight, the amount of time and effort involved has increased by at least one "time" and likely a good deal more as a missed flight tends to demand much more resource to make up than catching one on time would.
This is compared to being a bit early, so it isn't a significant additional difficulty, just a minor time differential. In the flight analogy this would be, say, leaving an hour or even a half hour earlier to insure one is on time without uncertainty. Matched against that is any or all the extra work, time, money, uncertainty, and disappointments that may accompany the outcome of that missed flight. Missing one may not be the end of the world, but how many times can it happen before one starts to be seen as unreliable or is just not able to be counted on?
Perhaps though this analogy isn't about a needed flight to get to some end goal, but is a thing done for its own purpose. Well, in that instance I'd suggest that you could spend even less time in airports by not booking flights at all since its clear there is something you find more valuable than whatever the flight might provide. I just can't see any good use for this analogy at all and I'm as big a procrastinator as there is, no stranger to taking risks, and don't like putting unnecessary effort into anything.
posted by gusottertrout at 5:11 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
so, in semi seriousness, the tactic that I sometimes use to optimize my balance between work and travel time is that I'll just use my lunch hour to get to the airport for an afternoon or evening flight; or if it's an early afternoon flight, I'll just skip the office and go to the airport as part of my morning commute. My office is only about 30 minutes from the airport, and I have a couple of credit cards that either give me a couple of guest passes to the frequent flyer lounge or will reimburse me for the cost of the pass. Get to the airport by 1pm for a 6pm flight and just park at a lounge with a glass of wine and my laptop and work until 5:30.
If you think the only way to minimize your airport dead time is to arrive as late as possible, you aren't hacking your daily schedule deeply enough.
posted by bl1nk at 5:13 AM on August 21, 2017 [5 favorites]
If you think the only way to minimize your airport dead time is to arrive as late as possible, you aren't hacking your daily schedule deeply enough.
posted by bl1nk at 5:13 AM on August 21, 2017 [5 favorites]
Never missed a flight here. Mostly because I have no idea whatsoever what happens when you do, or how to ultimately get back on track to the destination. Do they just say too bad so sad, you have to buy another ticket?
It depends on the airline's policies, the class of ticket, frequent flier status, etc.
If it's "your fault" (ie. you were late getting to the airport) and you're on a non-refundable ticket, you might have to buy a new ticket. Sometimes, if you have some level of status or if you bought a non refundable, you can put the cost of your lost ticket into the cost of the replacement -- if the new ticket would normally cost $800 on the website, and you paid $500, you'd have to shell out $300. You usually also have to pay a penalty fee on top of this.
If it's "their fault" (ie. connecting flight was late due to a mechanical issue, airline overbooked and you got bumped), they'll usually give you a chance to fly standby on the next flight without costing you extra. You lose your seat preference, you may get an extra leg in your flight, and checked in bags may not make it at the same time that you do, but at least you'll still arrive in your destination. If you have status, you may have more flexibility in picking a new flight and being explicitly rebooked rather than flying standby. Sometimes, at the airlines discretion, they may give you something like a credit to a future flight or miles. If you got stranded overnight in an airport you will sometimes get a little money to use for a hotel room, but this is getting super rare nowadays.
If it's "God's fault" (ie. connecting flight was late due to weather) contract of carriage will require that the airline give you a chance to fly standby on the next flight at no additional cost, but without any comfort gestures to compensate for the delay. If you choose not to fly standby, and try to explicitly select a specific itinerary then it can be treated like you're asking for a new reservation, and it's treated like the first scenario above (pay extra cost of new preferred itinerary plus change fee if your original ticket was nonrefundable)
posted by bl1nk at 5:33 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
It depends on the airline's policies, the class of ticket, frequent flier status, etc.
If it's "your fault" (ie. you were late getting to the airport) and you're on a non-refundable ticket, you might have to buy a new ticket. Sometimes, if you have some level of status or if you bought a non refundable, you can put the cost of your lost ticket into the cost of the replacement -- if the new ticket would normally cost $800 on the website, and you paid $500, you'd have to shell out $300. You usually also have to pay a penalty fee on top of this.
If it's "their fault" (ie. connecting flight was late due to a mechanical issue, airline overbooked and you got bumped), they'll usually give you a chance to fly standby on the next flight without costing you extra. You lose your seat preference, you may get an extra leg in your flight, and checked in bags may not make it at the same time that you do, but at least you'll still arrive in your destination. If you have status, you may have more flexibility in picking a new flight and being explicitly rebooked rather than flying standby. Sometimes, at the airlines discretion, they may give you something like a credit to a future flight or miles. If you got stranded overnight in an airport you will sometimes get a little money to use for a hotel room, but this is getting super rare nowadays.
If it's "God's fault" (ie. connecting flight was late due to weather) contract of carriage will require that the airline give you a chance to fly standby on the next flight at no additional cost, but without any comfort gestures to compensate for the delay. If you choose not to fly standby, and try to explicitly select a specific itinerary then it can be treated like you're asking for a new reservation, and it's treated like the first scenario above (pay extra cost of new preferred itinerary plus change fee if your original ticket was nonrefundable)
posted by bl1nk at 5:33 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
The point of this... platitude?... is that people are universally terrible at identifying and managing risk (Umesh included, apparently). The end result is that you'll frequently end up spending three dollars now to avoid a potential one dollar penalty in the future, and his argument is that you end up saving money/time/whatever by not doing that extra risk mitigation.
Obviously the argument is a little simplistic and I guarantee you that if Umesh is getting on a plane for an important job interview or to visit his dying mother then he'll be at the airport with plenty of time. The point is to be more cognizant of risk and try to identify what really matters (which you can't, because as a human being you are terrible at risk management).
We spend gobs of time at work in risk management, but so much of it is a complete joke. Our acquisition guidelines say that we should have a risk management program, so someone sets it up exactly according to the book (which of course never works) and then the book says you should be managing at least, say, five risks so the PM goes out and makes each functional group identify a risk and then those risks are cast in stone and "managed" through the life of a program. Consequences are all "catastrophic" because people ask "What's the worst that could happen?" rather than "What could realistically happen?" We spend a lot of time and effort mitigating the risk of "well, the pilots may just decide to up and fly the plane away two hours early" and completely ignore the risk of "there's usually traffic on the expressway this time of day".
The Umeshism falls down because it assumes risks are static and immutable. I got to my flight two hours early last time and spent 1.5 hours in a chair, therefore I never need to get to the airport more than 30 minutes early for my flight. Never mind the fact that there's construction on the highway, TSA furloughed a bunch of employees, and I have to check a bag this time. But Umesh, being a human being, is terrible at identifying risk.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:36 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
Obviously the argument is a little simplistic and I guarantee you that if Umesh is getting on a plane for an important job interview or to visit his dying mother then he'll be at the airport with plenty of time. The point is to be more cognizant of risk and try to identify what really matters (which you can't, because as a human being you are terrible at risk management).
We spend gobs of time at work in risk management, but so much of it is a complete joke. Our acquisition guidelines say that we should have a risk management program, so someone sets it up exactly according to the book (which of course never works) and then the book says you should be managing at least, say, five risks so the PM goes out and makes each functional group identify a risk and then those risks are cast in stone and "managed" through the life of a program. Consequences are all "catastrophic" because people ask "What's the worst that could happen?" rather than "What could realistically happen?" We spend a lot of time and effort mitigating the risk of "well, the pilots may just decide to up and fly the plane away two hours early" and completely ignore the risk of "there's usually traffic on the expressway this time of day".
The Umeshism falls down because it assumes risks are static and immutable. I got to my flight two hours early last time and spent 1.5 hours in a chair, therefore I never need to get to the airport more than 30 minutes early for my flight. Never mind the fact that there's construction on the highway, TSA furloughed a bunch of employees, and I have to check a bag this time. But Umesh, being a human being, is terrible at identifying risk.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:36 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
The point of this... platitude?... is that people are universally terrible at identifying and managing risk (Umesh included, apparently). The end result is that you'll frequently end up spending three dollars now to avoid a potential one dollar penalty in the future, and his argument is that you end up saving money/time/whatever by not doing that extra risk mitigation.
Yeah, it is undoubtedly true people aren't great at assessing risk. I'm just not keen on the analogy since, even aside from the other reasons, it doesn't account for the difference between necessary caution and unneeded concern. There are too many known examples of places betting on the low possibility outcome, cutting corners, then having others suffer for their lack of concern over an unlikely event; food poisoning, fire, accidents of all sorts and the like. It's an area that needs more than platitudes to think through all the implications of I'd say.
posted by gusottertrout at 5:47 AM on August 21, 2017
Yeah, it is undoubtedly true people aren't great at assessing risk. I'm just not keen on the analogy since, even aside from the other reasons, it doesn't account for the difference between necessary caution and unneeded concern. There are too many known examples of places betting on the low possibility outcome, cutting corners, then having others suffer for their lack of concern over an unlikely event; food poisoning, fire, accidents of all sorts and the like. It's an area that needs more than platitudes to think through all the implications of I'd say.
posted by gusottertrout at 5:47 AM on August 21, 2017
If you've never had your quotations misappropriated, you're not being witty enough.
-- Mark Twain
posted by peeedro at 6:07 AM on August 21, 2017 [12 favorites]
-- Mark Twain
posted by peeedro at 6:07 AM on August 21, 2017 [12 favorites]
> After traveling with him a couple of times and arriving to my seat dripping in sweat from running through the airport I began to tell him that the flight was an hour earlier than it actually was.
That's how I used to plan golf outings with my late uncle, God rest his tardy soul.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:22 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
That's how I used to plan golf outings with my late uncle, God rest his tardy soul.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:22 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
Never missed a flight here. Mostly because I have no idea whatsoever what happens when you do, or how to ultimately get back on track to the destination. Do they just say too bad so sad, you have to buy another ticket?
One of my least pleasant travel experiences was when a flight was delayed, which meant that I landed already having missed the next flight. But because it was cheaper (by the weird rules of airline tickets) I had bought the tickets separately, so the second airline didn't need to recognize my lateness as legitimate. I was young and had little money and no credit card; if the nice people at the Air France desk hadn't taken pity on me and rebooked me for free on a later flight I would have been seriously hosed. As it was, I still had to sleep on a bench in CDG for the 14 hour layover, which I recall mostly as being cold and uncomfortable.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:33 AM on August 21, 2017
One of my least pleasant travel experiences was when a flight was delayed, which meant that I landed already having missed the next flight. But because it was cheaper (by the weird rules of airline tickets) I had bought the tickets separately, so the second airline didn't need to recognize my lateness as legitimate. I was young and had little money and no credit card; if the nice people at the Air France desk hadn't taken pity on me and rebooked me for free on a later flight I would have been seriously hosed. As it was, I still had to sleep on a bench in CDG for the 14 hour layover, which I recall mostly as being cold and uncomfortable.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:33 AM on August 21, 2017
If you've never called a hot dog a sandwich, you're spending too much time categorizing food.
posted by Phssthpok at 6:36 AM on August 21, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Phssthpok at 6:36 AM on August 21, 2017 [4 favorites]
I like getting to the airport earlier than my wife does. Part of this is because she has missed flights and somehow always manages to talk them onto letting her on the next one. I do not have this magical skill, so I just get there in plenty of time and read a book.
(As you can imagine, this causes much frustration when we are traveling together.)
posted by madcaptenor at 6:39 AM on August 21, 2017
(As you can imagine, this causes much frustration when we are traveling together.)
posted by madcaptenor at 6:39 AM on August 21, 2017
I've never missed a flight, but definitely come uncomfortably close. I'm fairly good at missing trains, though, although never missed one with a booked ticket.
But the last two times I've been saying goodbye to someone else before a flight, they've pretty much strongarmed me into going to the airport hours before I needed to. And at one airport they wouldn't let me go through security when I got there, because otherwise it'd be too crowded. That was only 2 hours before my flight left. I'm assuming that the security people saw my UK passport, and assumed I'd be flying back to the UK instead of onward to Greece.
So, yeah, Berlin's got one of those airports that's not big enough to take you until just before the flight leaves.
posted by ambrosen at 6:40 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
But the last two times I've been saying goodbye to someone else before a flight, they've pretty much strongarmed me into going to the airport hours before I needed to. And at one airport they wouldn't let me go through security when I got there, because otherwise it'd be too crowded. That was only 2 hours before my flight left. I'm assuming that the security people saw my UK passport, and assumed I'd be flying back to the UK instead of onward to Greece.
So, yeah, Berlin's got one of those airports that's not big enough to take you until just before the flight leaves.
posted by ambrosen at 6:40 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
I like arriving at airports and train stations early. Not because I'm anxious about losing my ride, but because I like the feeling of setting out on a trip, looking at everybody else, and just turning off my mind and getting into the travel mindset.
posted by signal at 6:48 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by signal at 6:48 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
Quite literally the worst advice I have ever read, it's a joke right? Right?
posted by Cosine at 8:11 AM on August 21, 2017
posted by Cosine at 8:11 AM on August 21, 2017
I've always been the person that reliably arrives late, but just before any cutoffs that would prevent me from boarding. Very rarely have I missed a flight, even since 9/11 security has never made me late. My darling wife, on the other hand, is an extreme procrastinator and has had to forgo checking luggage and/or wheedle her way onto flights many times. When she was flying often when we were living in Tulsa it got to the point that everyone knew her and expected her lateness. Once, I dropped her at the airport 11 minutes before her flight and she made it. Another time she did that she actually had to wait an hour for the next flight. Last time we were leaving the DR, we had the flight time confused by an hour. I would have happily stayed another night (AA rebooks nonrefundable fares at no charge if you show up at the airport before the scheduled departure time, and often even later if you are nice about it..over the phone you pay the change fee, period), but she wasn't having it. We had business class seats, FFS! 5 minutes later, about 20 mins before the flight left, she convinced the check in people to give us boarding passes. 15 minutes later we were through security, departure immigration, and walked up to the gate as the last 10 people were boarding and took our seats just in time. We very nearly missed the generous connection in Miami on that trip thanks to an incredibly long line at immigration that we were near the end of thanks to earlier arriving flights and a jackass of an agent who asked us questions so long that we were literally the last people out of there, literally an hour and a half in line and then half an hour with the agent. Luckily, by the time we got to the customs line and the security line after that, there was only the tail end of the line left.
Anyway, the real point is that there is a massive time suck involved in arriving at the airport at the recommended predeparture time that is totally avoidable for a lot of people. An hour is more than plenty at most US airports.
That said, arriving early can give you the chance to argue with the TSA about what exactly one is allowed to travel with on a plane, causing one of them to interpret your polite inquiry and request to speak to (what was then) the airport TSO as some sort of threat and summoned a sheriff's deputy, who stood by looking bemused while the half-drunk administrator showed me in the book where it says no hammers, screwdrivers, chainsaws, sledgehammers, or similar items as banning literally everything that can be labeled a "tool." I had been dreading arriving over 2 hours early (unpredictable traffic, and not my choice), but thanks to the TSA, we didn't hit the gate until about 15 minutes predeparture.
posted by wierdo at 8:23 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
Anyway, the real point is that there is a massive time suck involved in arriving at the airport at the recommended predeparture time that is totally avoidable for a lot of people. An hour is more than plenty at most US airports.
That said, arriving early can give you the chance to argue with the TSA about what exactly one is allowed to travel with on a plane, causing one of them to interpret your polite inquiry and request to speak to (what was then) the airport TSO as some sort of threat and summoned a sheriff's deputy, who stood by looking bemused while the half-drunk administrator showed me in the book where it says no hammers, screwdrivers, chainsaws, sledgehammers, or similar items as banning literally everything that can be labeled a "tool." I had been dreading arriving over 2 hours early (unpredictable traffic, and not my choice), but thanks to the TSA, we didn't hit the gate until about 15 minutes predeparture.
posted by wierdo at 8:23 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
Just eat a big pot cookie and get on the plane.
You can get off and get on, or get on and get off.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:24 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
You can get off and get on, or get on and get off.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:24 AM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
Hey Weirdo, wanna know why else you and your wife are able to JUST make those flights.... because people like myself show up on time and clear the way for you, if everyone thought like you (or like this moronic advice) we would all be late.
You are protected by the herd immunity that exists because of others.
posted by Cosine at 8:27 AM on August 21, 2017 [18 favorites]
You are protected by the herd immunity that exists because of others.
posted by Cosine at 8:27 AM on August 21, 2017 [18 favorites]
Yeah, if literally everyone showed up 30 minutes early, there are some airports where I'd miss a flight. However, one usually gets a feel for security and check-in line timing after flying out of an airport a few times. If it takes longer, I show up earlier, thanks.
If not, I enjoy my time on the standby list and hope I don't have to wait 6 hours or a day or whatever until whichever flight I'm confirmed on leaves. Personally, I leave more time if the following flights are fully booked, since long wait for an available seat might actually cause a problem in my life.
Happily, you need never worry about me being in your way at an airport. I don't fly anymore and don't intend to start any time soon. I do not find the choice between being strip searched or molested a reasonable one. I choose not to participate. I was OK with the original back of the hand patdown since they didn't actually touch anything "sensitive." My last experience where they fondled my junk quite intrusively (which is current policy still) was enough for me to nope out of the whole thing.
Should I ever need to get somewhere faster than a train or the bus or driving myself, I'll find someone with an airplane to take me where I need to go.
posted by wierdo at 8:39 AM on August 21, 2017
If not, I enjoy my time on the standby list and hope I don't have to wait 6 hours or a day or whatever until whichever flight I'm confirmed on leaves. Personally, I leave more time if the following flights are fully booked, since long wait for an available seat might actually cause a problem in my life.
Happily, you need never worry about me being in your way at an airport. I don't fly anymore and don't intend to start any time soon. I do not find the choice between being strip searched or molested a reasonable one. I choose not to participate. I was OK with the original back of the hand patdown since they didn't actually touch anything "sensitive." My last experience where they fondled my junk quite intrusively (which is current policy still) was enough for me to nope out of the whole thing.
Should I ever need to get somewhere faster than a train or the bus or driving myself, I'll find someone with an airplane to take me where I need to go.
posted by wierdo at 8:39 AM on August 21, 2017
I've been flying for work several times a month for about eight years. My trips are of the short business variety: go to $city the night before, get a meal, sleep, go to the hearing in the morning, do my thing, leave, hopefully get another meal, and head back to the airport. Sometimes I am a few days in the same place, sometimes I have a multicity trip.
I have missed fewer than ten flights in the time I've been doing this because missing flights means not making it to my hearings. The flights I've missed have mostly been calculated risks - I book out the earliest flight I think I can make, but with knowledge that there's another flight out later in the day that will be a lot less pleasant to deal with but will allow me to get to my next hearing. I am much more likely to miss flights on my way home than on my way out, and it is only on my way home that I've been caught overnight at airports. I have a list of preferences about which airports I get stuck at overnight and book accordingly - La Guardia is the worst, Newark and Detroit are fine, Atlanta is wonderfully easy.
Perhaps because this is my job and I get paid to show up on time, I can't agree with the idea that missing flights is a positive. Maybe for leisure travelers who want to convince themselves they're really living it up it's cool, but for me, no. I also literally can't run due to a disability issue, so being in a position where I might make it if I run is likely to make me cry.
Anyway I should stop typing this comment and get to my hearings and hope they wrap up early enough that I can get some tacos before I go to the airport.
posted by bile and syntax at 8:40 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
I have missed fewer than ten flights in the time I've been doing this because missing flights means not making it to my hearings. The flights I've missed have mostly been calculated risks - I book out the earliest flight I think I can make, but with knowledge that there's another flight out later in the day that will be a lot less pleasant to deal with but will allow me to get to my next hearing. I am much more likely to miss flights on my way home than on my way out, and it is only on my way home that I've been caught overnight at airports. I have a list of preferences about which airports I get stuck at overnight and book accordingly - La Guardia is the worst, Newark and Detroit are fine, Atlanta is wonderfully easy.
Perhaps because this is my job and I get paid to show up on time, I can't agree with the idea that missing flights is a positive. Maybe for leisure travelers who want to convince themselves they're really living it up it's cool, but for me, no. I also literally can't run due to a disability issue, so being in a position where I might make it if I run is likely to make me cry.
Anyway I should stop typing this comment and get to my hearings and hope they wrap up early enough that I can get some tacos before I go to the airport.
posted by bile and syntax at 8:40 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm afraid of airports. (Not a joke, not a bit.) Be clear: I'm not afraid of flying in the slightest. Because I have a basic understanding of math and probability and safety statistics. And I trust that once I'm in the air, I'm in the hands of highly-trained professionals who are exceedingly unlikely to allow any harm to come to me.
Until that point though, I'm on my own. And it is fully within my means personally to pack wrong and end up delayed at the check-in and miss my flight. Or pick the worst possible time to try and go through the checkpoint and miss my flight. Or off-handedly make a "funny" joke to a TSA employee that ends with fingers jabbed into my bodily cavities. Or to doze off and miss an announcement about my gate changing. Or get wrapped up in reading and not notice when my plane boards. Or any number of other stupid, disorganized, ADD person fuckups that could screw up my flight plans, which are frequently international and usually involve connecting flights that must be met with not a lot of room for error.
And so, I get to airports exceedingly early. I'm not past the point of shaking anxiety until my bags are checked, my boarding pass is in my hand, and I'm past security. And I don't stop sweating and worrying until the gate I am at announces I can board.
This article and its central argument could not be more alien to me if they were delivered directly into my cerebellum via telepathic tentacles deployed down my auditory canal.
NO. JUST NO.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:03 AM on August 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
Until that point though, I'm on my own. And it is fully within my means personally to pack wrong and end up delayed at the check-in and miss my flight. Or pick the worst possible time to try and go through the checkpoint and miss my flight. Or off-handedly make a "funny" joke to a TSA employee that ends with fingers jabbed into my bodily cavities. Or to doze off and miss an announcement about my gate changing. Or get wrapped up in reading and not notice when my plane boards. Or any number of other stupid, disorganized, ADD person fuckups that could screw up my flight plans, which are frequently international and usually involve connecting flights that must be met with not a lot of room for error.
And so, I get to airports exceedingly early. I'm not past the point of shaking anxiety until my bags are checked, my boarding pass is in my hand, and I'm past security. And I don't stop sweating and worrying until the gate I am at announces I can board.
This article and its central argument could not be more alien to me if they were delivered directly into my cerebellum via telepathic tentacles deployed down my auditory canal.
NO. JUST NO.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:03 AM on August 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm one of the many who've piped up here who is happy to get to the airport two hours early and sit in a bar with a book rather than rush and stress about missing my flight. It paid off big time once when I got to the airport and discovered I had accidentally left my wallet at home. I drove home, grabbed my wallet, and sped back to the airport just in time to become one of the people who is stressed and rushing to catch their flight. (I made it, phew.)
posted by ejs at 9:14 AM on August 21, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by ejs at 9:14 AM on August 21, 2017 [4 favorites]
My job requires me to travel quite a bit, less now than in previous years but still quite a bit. I fully support the argued concept. I wonder if some of you are maybe missing what the rest of the article said to me at least. It's about judging the risks and acting accordingly.
I spent two years flying from Toronto to Montreal every week. And you better believe I missed a couple of those flights. I would regularly show up at the gate straight from security just as they were boarding. Sure sitting around waiting one or two hours for the next flight sucks. But it sucks less than waiting and hour or two for EVERY flight.
But I've also missed exactly one international flight. If I have a long flight or one that just can't be rebooked then yes I show up with an hour+ to spare.
But the idea of understanding risks, taking the ones that make sense, and not stressing about it has kept me sane (ish)
posted by cirhosis at 9:34 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
I spent two years flying from Toronto to Montreal every week. And you better believe I missed a couple of those flights. I would regularly show up at the gate straight from security just as they were boarding. Sure sitting around waiting one or two hours for the next flight sucks. But it sucks less than waiting and hour or two for EVERY flight.
But I've also missed exactly one international flight. If I have a long flight or one that just can't be rebooked then yes I show up with an hour+ to spare.
But the idea of understanding risks, taking the ones that make sense, and not stressing about it has kept me sane (ish)
posted by cirhosis at 9:34 AM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
There's a happy medium between showing up two hours early and showing up as they're closing the door. Pay attention to TSA line wait times, parking distances (i.e., can you walk from the rental car return or do you take a bus/shuttle) and if you have enough experience you can eyeball a good time to show up, get through security, have a drink/buy something, and show up as they start boarding. It's a good mix between stress and sitting in a pre-fab 1970's circular ass-molded plastic chair for two hours.
You can't always control when connecting flights land, etc, but I feel bad if I have had to run to a gate and am dripping sweat and about to sit down next to you in tight quarters for the next 3 hours. (Made a connection at DTW between terminals - end to end 4700 feet - in 9 minutes in a full business suit. I was pouring like the Trevi Fountain after that...felt really bad for seatmates)
posted by splen at 9:48 AM on August 21, 2017
You can't always control when connecting flights land, etc, but I feel bad if I have had to run to a gate and am dripping sweat and about to sit down next to you in tight quarters for the next 3 hours. (Made a connection at DTW between terminals - end to end 4700 feet - in 9 minutes in a full business suit. I was pouring like the Trevi Fountain after that...felt really bad for seatmates)
posted by splen at 9:48 AM on August 21, 2017
Man, that is one lousy analogy for...something? I guess? Not entirely sure what, but neither are the links I guess since they are not entirely agreeing on what the analogy actually means.
I agree. From my own advice would be more like "You will miss your flight on 5% of your trips. Most probably through your own oversight. Budget money and cultivated goodwill of others for when that happens. Then don't sweat it".
posted by rongorongo at 10:37 AM on August 21, 2017
I agree. From my own advice would be more like "You will miss your flight on 5% of your trips. Most probably through your own oversight. Budget money and cultivated goodwill of others for when that happens. Then don't sweat it".
posted by rongorongo at 10:37 AM on August 21, 2017
When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
Wait...
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:06 PM on August 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
Wait...
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:06 PM on August 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
Your first draft should need improvement.
posted by eyeofthetiger at 12:59 PM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by eyeofthetiger at 12:59 PM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
I once missed a flight partially because I mixed up 24 hour and 12 hour time in a totally weird way - thinking a flight was at 8pm when it was at 18:00 (or thereabouts). I was waiting for the bus - which I *thought* would get me there nice and early to my "8pm" flight, but then realised that, wait, no, I was supposed to be there in 40 minutes and I need a cab, stat (it's a 20-30 minute drive to the airport, depending on traffic).
So I grabbed a cab and told him my predicament and he got me to the airport and I got through security (carry on only, luckily!) with a good 15 minutes to spare, get to the gate and... my flight had left early because everyone (except me!) was on board. At least for that they booked me on the flight the next day for free, but I have never gotten over that flight leaving early. This was also on a carrier that notoriously runs extremely late at the end of their scheduled day.
Now I check the 24 vs 12 hour time thing kind of obsessively...
posted by urbanlenny at 1:21 PM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
So I grabbed a cab and told him my predicament and he got me to the airport and I got through security (carry on only, luckily!) with a good 15 minutes to spare, get to the gate and... my flight had left early because everyone (except me!) was on board. At least for that they booked me on the flight the next day for free, but I have never gotten over that flight leaving early. This was also on a carrier that notoriously runs extremely late at the end of their scheduled day.
Now I check the 24 vs 12 hour time thing kind of obsessively...
posted by urbanlenny at 1:21 PM on August 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
Oh and my recurring nightmare (I've had this stupid thing constantly) is that I've forgotten my passport at home and only realise at the airport and don't have enough time to get home to get it, then back for my flight. I also check for passports at least a million times before leaving the house now. It's my "forgot to turn the oven off" travel anxiety.
The other flight I missed was because I took the train from Manchester to London to get my flight (to Vancouver) and took the later of the trains, which would still get me there with two hours or so to spare. LOTS of time. I get on the train, get settled in, and the conductor comes over the loudspeaker and announces "There is construction on the tracks today, so we'll be taking the slow tracks to London. Thank you for your patience." The slow tracks. Awesome. Yeah I totally missed that flight, but I think they managed to fill my seat anyway since they booked me for the next day without charging me anything (lucky, because I was a broke student at the time!)
posted by urbanlenny at 1:25 PM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
The other flight I missed was because I took the train from Manchester to London to get my flight (to Vancouver) and took the later of the trains, which would still get me there with two hours or so to spare. LOTS of time. I get on the train, get settled in, and the conductor comes over the loudspeaker and announces "There is construction on the tracks today, so we'll be taking the slow tracks to London. Thank you for your patience." The slow tracks. Awesome. Yeah I totally missed that flight, but I think they managed to fill my seat anyway since they booked me for the next day without charging me anything (lucky, because I was a broke student at the time!)
posted by urbanlenny at 1:25 PM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
The only flight I've ever missed was after getting the Brussels airport express out from the city, estd journey time ~10 minutes and have it pull over into a siding for an hour. I suspect many others missed their flights also, and not just the ones who were freaking out with the frustration. Train people could not have given less of a fuck, not the airlines problem. Result was shelling out £400 to go business class to brum. Thankfully the EU taxpayer was covering it.
posted by biffa at 3:06 PM on August 21, 2017
posted by biffa at 3:06 PM on August 21, 2017
I've never seen the point in spending hundreds or thousands of dollars, and then wasting it because airports are boring. Brother, I paid for that flight by spending many boring hours inside of an office. At least the airport has decent HVAC.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 3:13 PM on August 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 3:13 PM on August 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
Okay I was going to complain about the airport one because only people who hate books (and probably have no children who routinely scream in their ear) object to spending a quiet hour sitting in an airport with a book with nothing they can do about the fact that they're being forced -- forced! -- to read...
Where are these quiet airports? I love to read. I find it difficult to read and actually enjoy it in airports, which tend to be full of people talking into their phones.
posted by bunderful at 7:33 PM on August 21, 2017
Where are these quiet airports? I love to read. I find it difficult to read and actually enjoy it in airports, which tend to be full of people talking into their phones.
posted by bunderful at 7:33 PM on August 21, 2017
I spent an entire day rebooking and re-rebooking connecting flights last week, when my trip received the unexpected delight of cascading 20-minute delays totaling more than eleven hours.
How can you not find a replacement airplane in eleven hours, when you have nine flights on the same route every bloody day?
In other words: fuck you, United.
What? Is my anger misdirected at MetaFilter? Fuck you, Albert.
posted by rokusan at 7:48 PM on August 21, 2017
How can you not find a replacement airplane in eleven hours, when you have nine flights on the same route every bloody day?
In other words: fuck you, United.
What? Is my anger misdirected at MetaFilter? Fuck you, Albert.
posted by rokusan at 7:48 PM on August 21, 2017
Where are these quiet airports? I love to read.
Oh, there are many, but top of my head...
posted by rokusan at 7:54 PM on August 21, 2017
Oh, there are many, but top of my head...
- ICN, with designated quiet zones, complete with recliners.
- YUL, or any airport with a large, unstaffed 'chapel'. I am praying to Pynchon.
- YVR, because there are always entire wings without flights. Hot, however.
- HND, which also has the best showers.
posted by rokusan at 7:54 PM on August 21, 2017
If a comment you post about being drunk and irresponsible gets 41 likes perhaps you've found your people.
posted by bendy at 8:16 PM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by bendy at 8:16 PM on August 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
If you've never missed a flight because you stopped for a comforting bowl of congee in an airport restaurant near the gate but not near enough, then you didn't get rebooked for a flight the next day and didn't get to hang out with your best friend for an extra day and watch the new Star Trek movie and have tacos for dinner.
posted by moonmilk at 8:54 PM on August 21, 2017
posted by moonmilk at 8:54 PM on August 21, 2017
I once arrived at the airport four hours early for a flight (it was either get a 15 minute ride and get there four hours early or ride transit for two hours). This turned out to be an hour before the ticket counter opened which was fun.
But I also avoid missing two flights where my itinerary was changed without me knowing (the company booking my business related travel was pretty incompetent). And with five flights per week missing those flights would have cost me several hundred dollars in lost wages and overtime.
Dip Flash: "I find running late to be stressful, whereas getting there early just means some time reading. "
This is so me. If I'm not at the airport at least 90 minutes early I'm a total wreck from stress by the time I get there.
sebastienbailard: "If your browser doesn't periodically grind to halt, then you don't have enough tabs open."
Daily is a period right?
posted by Mitheral at 1:12 AM on August 22, 2017
But I also avoid missing two flights where my itinerary was changed without me knowing (the company booking my business related travel was pretty incompetent). And with five flights per week missing those flights would have cost me several hundred dollars in lost wages and overtime.
Dip Flash: "I find running late to be stressful, whereas getting there early just means some time reading. "
This is so me. If I'm not at the airport at least 90 minutes early I'm a total wreck from stress by the time I get there.
sebastienbailard: "If your browser doesn't periodically grind to halt, then you don't have enough tabs open."
Daily is a period right?
posted by Mitheral at 1:12 AM on August 22, 2017
I once arrived at the airport four hours early for a flight (it was either get a 15 minute ride and get there four hours early or ride transit for two hours). This turned out to be an hour before the ticket counter opened which was fun.
Not all that long after 9/11 I had an international flight, and since airport security was a mess and unpredictable I called the airline to check when they wanted me to show up at the airport. I followed their instructions, which resulted in me waiting uselessly in the check-in area two hours before any of the airline's employees showed up.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:18 AM on August 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Not all that long after 9/11 I had an international flight, and since airport security was a mess and unpredictable I called the airline to check when they wanted me to show up at the airport. I followed their instructions, which resulted in me waiting uselessly in the check-in area two hours before any of the airline's employees showed up.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:18 AM on August 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I've had some major dramas - the most amusing (because it worked out) was when I forgot to set an alarm (Tampa, FL, in a hotel near the airport) and woke up 45 minutes before my flight was due to leave. Due to the wonders of the airport shuttle being late leaving (I was able to run out in front of it and stop it) and TSE Pre, I got to my gate ten minutes before the door shut. That was a tiny bit stressful.
posted by Brockles at 9:19 AM on August 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Brockles at 9:19 AM on August 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
BTDT. When I was still young wierdo I had a trip scheduled to go visit Georgia at her school in Florida. I was pretty much a teetotaler at the time, but had the completely messed up hours that kids often keep. Thus, having a 5:30AM flight and normally going to bed after 3AM, sleep wasn't happening.
Anyway, living with a bunch of people who worked food service, weed was always around, though I almost never participated. Well, that night they convinced me. I forget what tabletop game it was that we were playing, but I got utterly blitzed and by the time I was with it again it was already 5AM and the airport was 20 minutes away. After making that flight with time to spare, I have never been one to really worry about it.
It also helped that way back when no major airline cancelled tickets entirely when you missed a flight. You just went standby any or at worst if you were days late you paid a $25-$75 change fee and got a confirmed reservation at a later date. Now a lot of airlines actually charge to put you on the standby list, which is even more blindingly stupid than checked baggage fees for a single small-medium bag. (Back when, it wasn't at all uncommon for me to finish work early and go standby on a flight earlier in the day, helping both me and the airline in a nice win-win.
posted by wierdo at 10:54 AM on August 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Anyway, living with a bunch of people who worked food service, weed was always around, though I almost never participated. Well, that night they convinced me. I forget what tabletop game it was that we were playing, but I got utterly blitzed and by the time I was with it again it was already 5AM and the airport was 20 minutes away. After making that flight with time to spare, I have never been one to really worry about it.
It also helped that way back when no major airline cancelled tickets entirely when you missed a flight. You just went standby any or at worst if you were days late you paid a $25-$75 change fee and got a confirmed reservation at a later date. Now a lot of airlines actually charge to put you on the standby list, which is even more blindingly stupid than checked baggage fees for a single small-medium bag. (Back when, it wasn't at all uncommon for me to finish work early and go standby on a flight earlier in the day, helping both me and the airline in a nice win-win.
posted by wierdo at 10:54 AM on August 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I've found that a lot of my colleagues are very good at coming up with long list of potential risks, but are unwilling or unable to realistically assess their probability or impact.
The story goes that when Feynman was investigating the Challenger disaster he couldn't get anyone to give him a straight answer as to what the calculated risk of failure was. Then someone surreptitiously slipped a crumpled scrap of paper in his coat pocket. It had only two words scrawled on it, "Ivory Soap".
It finally dawned on him what that meant, the slogan -- "Ivory Soap is 99 and 44 100th pure"
So they knew there was a .56% chance of failure on every flight, which would roughly indicate one failure for every 200 flights.
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:17 PM on August 22, 2017
The story goes that when Feynman was investigating the Challenger disaster he couldn't get anyone to give him a straight answer as to what the calculated risk of failure was. Then someone surreptitiously slipped a crumpled scrap of paper in his coat pocket. It had only two words scrawled on it, "Ivory Soap".
It finally dawned on him what that meant, the slogan -- "Ivory Soap is 99 and 44 100th pure"
So they knew there was a .56% chance of failure on every flight, which would roughly indicate one failure for every 200 flights.
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:17 PM on August 22, 2017
If you think you know a lot about everything, you haven't been paying attention to anything.
posted by not_on_display at 7:28 PM on August 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by not_on_display at 7:28 PM on August 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
Frankly, though, I'd rather put in the time up front at airports, especially if you don't know how many hours you'll lose on the back end waiting for another seat on a flight, or what the delay will cost you.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:11 PM on August 20, 2017 [5 favorites]