Just What Is a Red Panda, Anyway?

August 24, 2017 6:39 PM

Last week, as it sometimes does, the topic of red pandas came up in conversation. The person I was speaking to was well aware that red pandas are not very closely related to the more famous giant pandas... but he had no idea what they actually are related to.
posted by Wolfdog (33 comments total)

I just assume every Red Panda I'm looking at is secretly Mario dressed up in a 'Tanooki suit'.
posted by Fizz at 6:45 PM on August 24, 2017 [12 favorites]

what the fuck, there's a thing called a "bear dog" which is the combination of two of the best mammals and it is extinct how is this fair
posted by curious nu at 6:48 PM on August 24, 2017 [14 favorites]

Pokémon.
posted by Artw at 6:51 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

what the fuck, there's a thing called a "bear dog" which is the combination of two of the best mammals and it is extinct how is this fair

And they were best friends with the otterfoxes. Oh how they used to play!
posted by Wolfdog at 6:53 PM on August 24, 2017 [26 favorites]

Looks more like a raccoon, than anything else...
posted by littlejohnnyjewel at 6:56 PM on August 24, 2017

They also like to escape from the zoo.
posted by humboldt32 at 6:58 PM on August 24, 2017

The local zoo has the skeleton of one of their departed grizzly bears on display in their education center, and its remarkably dog like, especially around the skull. The fuzz obscures that a lot of course.
posted by Artw at 7:14 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Ooooh, I know this one, since I just saw the Wild Kratts episode about them twice in the past week, with the captioning on, so I can even spell it! They're the only members of the family "Ailuridae." They are neither closely related to pandas nor raccoons, although slightly more closely related to raccoons and weasels and other mustilids.

(reads article) BAM, Wild Kratts triumph again!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:27 PM on August 24, 2017 [16 favorites]

here I was thinking they were related to the great beast Mozilla
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:48 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

I just assume every Red Panda I'm looking at is secretly Mario dressed up in a 'Tanooki suit'.--Fizz

A tanuki is actually part of the dog family (including wolves, and foxes).
posted by eye of newt at 7:51 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

This was a really interesting post, thank you.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:01 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Just What Is a Red Panda, Anyway?

$20, same as in town.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 8:03 PM on August 24, 2017 [14 favorites]

Red pandas are the best.
posted by kaibutsu at 8:08 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Uh, non-trashy raccoons?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:17 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Eyebrows: Yeah, Wild Kratts is a pretty great show. PBS is full of rocking television for kids that I watch as a non-kid-having adult. Word Girl is bizarrely entertaining.
posted by hippybear at 8:36 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Looks more like a raccoon, than anything else...

I once said that red pandas were raccoons on Imzy (RIP), and someone got honestly seriously angry at me. This was like a year ago, and even now I am still puzzled by this reaction.
posted by Literaryhero at 9:05 PM on August 24, 2017

there is an itty bitty babby red panda at the cincinnati zoo who is almost adorable enough to steal my heart away from fiona hippo
posted by poffin boffin at 9:16 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

Oh please, dear Universe, let someone do an animated version of Fiona Apple's Criminal video only with new character Fiona Hippo.
posted by hippybear at 9:21 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

They also like to escape from the zoo.

Indeed.

I'm a rail traffic controller and once had to stop all traffic at the station due to an escaped panda (and folks chasing it). It was pretty funny to tell train drivers to stop due to "a panda on the tracks".
posted by Kosmob0t at 10:45 PM on August 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

In which the viciousness of a red panda attack is demonstrated.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 11:28 PM on August 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

I'm super excited to have found this blog, fascinating stuff! I did my first 'research' report on the red panda...sixth grade or thereabouts.
posted by lemonade at 12:04 AM on August 25, 2017

They are clearly cat raccoon husky hybrids.
posted by fshgrl at 12:05 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

A Chinese colleague was teaching me a little Mandarin vocabulary, and after we got to "panda" I asked what was Chinese for "red panda".

I got an appalled "A red panda? THERE'S NO SUCH THING!"

This has become an in-joke at home, and unfortunately I've now conditioned myself to reply "There's no such thing!" whenever red pandas are mentioned.
posted by BinaryApe at 12:28 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

I think we're all pandering to the panders...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:31 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

Red panda at night, sailor's delight
Red panda at morning, sailor take warning.
posted by briank at 3:47 AM on August 25, 2017 [9 favorites]

Last year I had the opportunity to visit a zoo and hand-feed their two red pandas little slices of pear and some bamboo leaves.

It was every bit as awesome as you might imagine.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:09 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

I have to say, that blog overall is one of the most interesting things I've stumbled across in a long time. Once you start clicking through the archives in the sidebar, and the links within the articles, you can lose absolutely oodles of time.

Of Moon Bears and Skunk Cabbages
The Echidna's Incredible Expanding Testicles
The Dog Family: The Marks of Zorros
posted by Wolfdog at 6:10 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

A Chinese colleague was teaching me a little Mandarin vocabulary, and after we got to "panda" I asked what was Chinese for "red panda".

I got an appalled "A red panda? THERE'S NO SUCH THING!"

Which is extra hilarious because that's what their name basically is in Cantonese -- pandas are "bear cats," and the word bear is a homophone for the word red.
posted by joyceanmachine at 6:59 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

The latest Bronx Zoo members' tee shirt we got features the Red Panda. I think it is one of the cutest animals in the zoo and always enjoy seeing it. Interesting article!
posted by mermayd at 8:45 AM on August 25, 2017

And they were best friends with the otterfoxes. Oh how they used to play!
posted by Wolfdog at 9:53 PM on August 24 [15 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]

Epony-pretty funny.
posted by DigDoug at 9:40 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

If it were feasible for me to have red pandas as pets, I would.

…It's probably for the best.
posted by adamrice at 10:33 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

It's a foxrat. They can be dangerous in urban areas, but you can easily handle them if you rub their bellies and sing the hand clapping song in Japanese.
posted by mule98J at 8:42 AM on August 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

The red panda is native to the Himalayas and China. It is also known as the lesser panda or red bear cat. It is much smaller than the giant panda and they are nocturnal. They have some in Chengdu, China at the Panda breeding center and they walk around freely. Obviously, they are not dangerous as you can see them interacting with children in the photos here: China Panda They also seem to move really slow so it seems that they should not be hard to contain.
posted by mmhgloba at 9:29 PM on August 26, 2017 [1 favorite]