“It's-a me, Mario!”

September 4, 2017 3:47 PM

Is Mario a human? Yes. There is some disagreement. Is Mario a plumber? Not anymore, he's retired. Is Mario Italian or Japanese? Italian. What is Mario's last name? Mario. Are Mario and Wario related? Maybe? Not. Is Mario older or younger than Luigi? They're fraternal twins. And Mario is older.
posted by Fizz (28 comments total)

Is Mario a mammal?

Does Mario fight all the time?
posted by selfnoise at 4:10 PM on September 4, 2017 [10 favorites]

Is Waluigi my boyfriend
posted by dismas at 4:21 PM on September 4, 2017 [9 favorites]

Mario is human the way Elmer Fudd, Fred Flintstone and Rick Sanchez are human. He's a kind of cartoon character, just as Sonic is a hedgehog, Bugs Bunny is a rabbit and Kermit is a frog. But definitely within the realm of human characters. Now Gonzo the Muppet is anybody's guess.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:22 PM on September 4, 2017

How anybody ever thought Wario was Mario's evil twin is beyond me--they're in different weight classes! Also, Mario already has a mustache.
posted by dbx at 4:26 PM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

Is Waluigi my boyfriend

Thank you dismas! But our hero is in another thread.
posted by Fizz at 4:27 PM on September 4, 2017 [5 favorites]

John Darnielle - Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle
posted by dismas at 4:40 PM on September 4, 2017 [4 favorites]

Thank you dismas! But our hero is in another thread.

Wah!
posted by dismas at 4:41 PM on September 4, 2017 [4 favorites]

Came to see if the Idle Thumbs theory was covered, was not disappointed. That was a real "Put-a the glasses-a on" moment for me.
posted by rodlymight at 4:44 PM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

What link is the Idle Thumbs theory in? (I can't watch the video.)
posted by kittensofthenight at 4:57 PM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

It's the Not, of Are Mario and Wario related? Maybe/Not.
posted by rodlymight at 5:23 PM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

It sort of falls apart as theory when you get to Waluigi, though
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:37 PM on September 4, 2017

Waluigi being a halfassed afterthought is totally consistent with Luigi's entire existence, though.
posted by rodlymight at 5:46 PM on September 4, 2017 [8 favorites]

I might have just spent all afternoon playing Mario Baseball.

I regret nothing.
posted by Navelgazer at 5:53 PM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

Mario has embraced his new role as a Thought Leader in the gaming space, and looks forward to giving his upcoming TEDTalk.
posted by SansPoint at 6:17 PM on September 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

Mama, why-a you never remember my name?
posted by littlesq at 6:33 PM on September 4, 2017 [4 favorites]

> Mama, why-a you never remember my name?

Permalink to original comic on creator's website. 9gag and its ilk are a scourge
posted by ardgedee at 7:25 PM on September 4, 2017 [8 favorites]

Related: Since Mario's last name is Mario it's possible that Dr. Mario isn't Mario but actually Mario and Luigi's dad or something.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:28 PM on September 4, 2017 [16 favorites]

Mario is Bob Hoskins, now and forever.
posted by hippybear at 7:39 PM on September 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

I had a weird feeling about Mario when I was a kid. I loved the games and the settings but the cartoon Mario was uncanny to me, for reasons I can't quite explain, but that are probably related to the terror of mascots. The animated show freaked me right out. Even now, it seems wrong to hear him talk.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:54 PM on September 4, 2017

"the terror of mascots"

Hey, have you heard of the furry fandom?
posted by hippybear at 7:55 PM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

But I thought Mario was American, not Italian.
posted by Apocryphon at 9:53 PM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

Related: Since Mario's last name is Mario it's possible that Dr. Mario isn't Mario but actually Mario and Luigi's dad or something.

Wow. That is, by far, the best Dr. Mario explanation I've ever heard.
posted by NMcCoy at 1:19 AM on September 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

Dr. Mario is not Mario's father. He's more like that wayward black sheep Uncle who sells drugs.
posted by Fizz at 4:45 AM on September 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

This is like George Foreman naming all his children George Foreman, except if his name was actually Foreman Foreman, and if he named them Foreman Foreman, and instead of giving them different middle names, all their middle names were Foreman. And if the kids who couldn't stand to be Foreman Foreman Foreman legally changed their names to Woreman and Waforeman. And Luigi Foreman Foreman was adopted.
posted by ardgedee at 5:04 AM on September 5, 2017 [4 favorites]

Wait, you're saying that calling my plumber up and asking his medical opinion for the past few years hasn't resulted in solid medical treatment? Say what you will about the merits of obamacare, but plumbers still make house calls. Also, my next askme will likely be about what to do about claiming all this plumbing work as medical expenses....
posted by Nanukthedog at 8:24 AM on September 5, 2017

bash.org on Dr. Mario (nsfw text)
posted by dismas at 12:12 PM on September 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

Major Major Major!
posted by aspersioncast at 11:22 AM on September 6, 2017

All I know is that if I don't get a SNES classic I'm gonna hurt somebody
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:57 PM on September 6, 2017