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September 6, 2017 8:47 AM   Subscribe

The 21st century has seen some amazing discoveries and inventions so far: the the Higgs boson, Gravitational waves, potentially habitable exoplanets, self driving cars, gene editing tools and many other amazing and wonderful things. Today we can add one more that that list of epic human achievements: a fourth form of chocolate.
posted by auntie-matter (36 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
 
You mean a third form of chocolate, surely. "White Chocolate" is a misnomer for a delicious, chocolate-adjacent candy that is nevertheless clearly Not Chocolate. If there are no cocoa solids, it ain't chocolate.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 8:54 AM on September 6, 2017 [20 favorites]


Eater has a slightly less breathless take. Notably:
“This is classic marketing hype,” says Megan Giller, food writer, Eater contributor, and author of the new book Bean-to-Bar Chocolate: America’s Craft Chocolate Revolution. “We don’t yet know what Callebaut means by the ‘ruby cocoa bean,’ especially since no expert I’ve ever spoken to has mentioned a unique type of bean that comes from the Ivory Coast, Ecuador, and Brazil.” Giller has done some research and believes this new product is made from “a genetically modified bean, maybe CCN-51, that has been processed in a particular way to get that ruby color.” ([Mike] Schrauth [, VP of Callebaut’s gourmet division] would not go into specifics regarding how the bean was developed, citing intellectual property.)
posted by jedicus at 8:55 AM on September 6, 2017 [4 favorites]


White chocolate: all of the fat, none of the flavor.
posted by msalt at 8:57 AM on September 6, 2017 [8 favorites]


According to quantitative research performed by independent international market and consumer agency Haystack, Ruby chocolate meets a consumer need no chocolate ever did before.

Well, doesn't that sound exciting! Quantitative research!!
posted by aubilenon at 8:58 AM on September 6, 2017 [8 favorites]


Consumer research in very different markets confirms that Ruby chocolate not only satisfies a new consumer need found among Millennials - Hedonistic Indulgence - but also high purchase intent at different price points.

Death to Capitalism!
posted by One Second Before Awakening at 8:59 AM on September 6, 2017 [9 favorites]


Pepsi Ruby
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:00 AM on September 6, 2017 [3 favorites]


And that need is?

a new consumer need found among Millennials - Hedonistic Indulgence

*cough* sputter spit take
posted by msalt at 9:00 AM on September 6, 2017 [7 favorites]


This sets off all the marketing hype alarms.

And I have to agree about white chocolate not being chocolate, if for no other reason than it doesn't taste even faintly of chocolate. It IS useful as a butter substitute for cakes, I'll give it that. The Cake Bible has a great recipe where butter and sugar is swapped for equivalent amounts of white chocolate, and it's quite tasty.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 9:11 AM on September 6, 2017 [3 favorites]


Sandra Boynton, in one of her books, had a great description of white chocolate: it's chocolate in the same sense that sugar water is orange juice.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:18 AM on September 6, 2017 [9 favorites]


Finally, a chocolate for girls.
posted by chavenet at 9:32 AM on September 6, 2017 [6 favorites]


Eh. If it really doesn't have shit added to it, and it tastes good, this could mean a future of red velvet cakes that don't suck. That alone justifies its existence and yes, I know the history of red velvet cake, including that they originally didn't have food coloring etc.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:35 AM on September 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


Is this like that pink Himalayan salt that was going to change my life a few years ago?
posted by gyusan at 9:37 AM on September 6, 2017 [6 favorites]


Is this like that pink Himalayan salt that was going to change my life a few years ago?

Well, it made you write at least one comment. What sort of change were you expecting?
posted by aubilenon at 9:42 AM on September 6, 2017 [10 favorites]


I don't know... something amazing, I guess
posted by jrishel at 9:49 AM on September 6, 2017 [9 favorites]


I love white chocolate and I am prepared to love this.
posted by dmh at 9:56 AM on September 6, 2017 [4 favorites]


The need is cheap, pink, valentine chocolate hearts. All in a box, no frills, maybe a press in pattern, no other embellishments, for the one day market, only. Lots of profit in one year, before everyone realizes it is a rip without the health benefits of dark chocolate, or the flavor, (probably.)
posted by Oyéah at 10:11 AM on September 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


Good white chocolate is delicious, different from dark chocolate, and worth eating. (Bad "chocolate" of any colour (I'm looking at you, Hershey) is gross).

I kinda want to try this, although that press release is eye roll inducing.
posted by quaking fajita at 10:12 AM on September 6, 2017 [2 favorites]


I am of the opinion that white chocolate is not chocolate, but I don't see that as a bad thing.
Example 1- my go-to in the first decade of this century. Downside- hard to stop eating.
Example 2- My local favorite since I discovered it. Downside- even more addictive.
I'm not that big into the brown stuff. (Having grown up near Hershey)
posted by MtDewd at 10:24 AM on September 6, 2017


The vastly superior Gros Michel cocoa bean was sadly wiped out by a blight. We're all eatin' Cavendish chocolate.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:28 AM on September 6, 2017 [9 favorites]


It sounds like marketing hype, but OTOH, I like Callebaut so I'd probably try it on the theory that just because the hype is dumb doesn't mean it tastes bad. An awful lot of stuff would be more appealing to me if the marketing wasn't so awful - what's wrong with saying, "we've developed what we're calling "ruby" chocolate where our special process brings out the berry notes and gives it a reddish hue, it's new and delicious, why not try some?"

Green and Black has a good white chocolate. I always hated white chocolate until I had some of that.
posted by Frowner at 10:32 AM on September 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


White chocolate is best used as hand lotion.
posted by asperity at 10:48 AM on September 6, 2017 [4 favorites]


It's just a Pink Panther Bar, isn't it?

( and major ಠ_ಠ to the white chocolate haters. For me, it's like chocolate, but without the nausea and retching afterwards. Y'all probably never tried the good stuff like Valrhona Dulcey or Opalys, El Rey Icoa, Simón Coll Blanco or Springfield, MO's-own Askinosie White. I can taste a Callebaut re-melt from a mile away, and these go way beyond that cheesy bar o' blandness.)
posted by scruss at 10:48 AM on September 6, 2017 [2 favorites]


Hey, Callebaut! I'll help you kick off your marketing efforts:
"Ruby been berry, berry good to me."
posted by the sobsister at 11:02 AM on September 6, 2017


Yeah, this press release clearly is written for people who are excited to sell chocolate (e.g., shareholders, financial analysts, distribution partners), and not people who are excited to eat chocolate (e.g., me).
posted by aubilenon at 11:15 AM on September 6, 2017


I was expecting some sort of chocolate plasma, to be followed shortly by announcement of the Dove-Toblerone condensate.
posted by TedW at 11:19 AM on September 6, 2017 [16 favorites]


OKAY BUT where is the previously to that brooklyn chocolate company that was stealing other people's chocolate and rebranding it as their own artisanal stuff? bc that was great.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:27 AM on September 6, 2017


Here ya go! I found it by searching "hipster chocolate rebranding regular chocolate" :D
posted by Mouse Army at 11:36 AM on September 6, 2017


I like white chocolate, and understand it's a misnomer, but it's like eating butter and what food lover wouldn't like to do that.
posted by polymodus at 11:44 AM on September 6, 2017 [4 favorites]


Be right back -- multiplying chocolate by the square root of -1 to create a fifth form of chocolate. You just imagine eating four bars of it and feeling sick and guilty for the rest of the night, instead of actually doing it.
posted by Quindar Beep at 11:44 AM on September 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


The best thing about white chocolate is Faith No More's cover of Nestle's Alpine White jingle.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:44 AM on September 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


hipster chocolate rebranding regular chocolate

YAY and also there are MORE chocolate scandals as previouslies

I do love a good chocolate scandal.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:29 PM on September 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


Five years ago 'blond' chocolate was being touted as the fourth form, which would make this the fifth...
posted by misteraitch at 1:27 PM on September 6, 2017


The description of "blond" chocolate sounds an awful lot like it's regular white chocolate that's left on the heat long enough for some of the sugar to caramelize. Which sounds yummy, but I wouldn't say that it counts as a separate variety of chocolate any more than the numerous varieties that have mint, chili, or various types of fruit and nuts added, Valrhona’s marketing department notwithstanding.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:03 PM on September 6, 2017


White chocolate is awesome. Sure it isn't proper chocolate, who fucking cares just eat it, with razberry ice cream or lemon cake or whatever you want. On preview I'm going to go listen to that thing Jack linked.
posted by vrakatar at 7:01 PM on September 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


We don't have self driving cars for fuck's sake.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 11:24 PM on September 6, 2017


I was hoping it'd be darker so people would stop putting food dye in red velvet cake and just use good chocolate... No such luck.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:00 AM on September 7, 2017


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