Just add blorps and floof.

September 24, 2017 12:35 PM

Updated your mental image of a dinosaur to include feathers? You're probably still not picturing a plausible animal, much less a realistic depiction of a dinosaur. Artist C.M. Kosemen points out that paleoart historically has just "skinned" the fossiled remains, creating improbable creature designs that lack all kinds of soft tissue and features that wouldn't show up in most fossils. To illustrate our collective failures of imagination, he's re-envisioned swans, baboons, elephants, zebras, hippos and rhinos as if they were drawn by future paleontologists working only from fossilized remains.
posted by deludingmyself (35 comments total)

I feel like they've really captured the soul of the swan though.
posted by Artw at 12:42 PM on September 24, 2017 [80 favorites]

It would be so great if visiting aliens could show us pictures of their visit from 65 million years before.
posted by Bee'sWing at 12:47 PM on September 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

I feel like they've really captured the soul of the swan though.

Indeed. It also seems somewhat inspired by tales of that closely related dinosaur, the indomitable anthropocene goose.
posted by deludingmyself at 12:48 PM on September 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

I think I've seen those swans in Starship Troopers, although they were nicer there.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:04 PM on September 24, 2017

Hippos really do look like that. They just puff up when they are ready to attack, which is always.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:07 PM on September 24, 2017 [58 favorites]

The variety of thestrals has grown considerably since I was in school
posted by Hermione Granger at 1:13 PM on September 24, 2017 [22 favorites]

Previously.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 1:34 PM on September 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

May I be the first to say: Eponysterical.
posted by clawsoon at 1:58 PM on September 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Well, huh. That was really neat.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:49 PM on September 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

This may be a fun critique of the way artists depict dinos, but I feel it's rather disingenuous to talk about fossil reconstruction without a single mention of the techniques paleontologists (and anthropologists) use in examining skeletal remains. Soft tissue, particularly muscles and tendons, leave their mark, and bones conform to anchor, support, and counterbalance the musculature. That's why we can have papers estimating the bite force of a T-Rex or the posture and gait of our hominid ancestors. It's not just throwing a skin over something and calling it a day.
posted by Panjandrum at 4:22 PM on September 24, 2017 [50 favorites]

YES! I've always felt this way, triceratops in particular I figure was a wildly cool animal with a fantastical headdress.
posted by Toddles at 4:37 PM on September 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Once I saw this picture of the T-Rex I knew I would never again be able to imagine it otherwise.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:41 PM on September 24, 2017 [41 favorites]

I've always figured a stegosaurus must be mostly hump. Compare the sticky-uppy vertebrae of a camel or bison, and extrapolate.

Also, with all due respect to A. Elk, the sauropods were definitely the same thickness all the way along, like a gigantic tube of cookie dough with a wee little face on the end. They lived like hippos or manatees, mostly just bobbing around in shallow water, eating lilypads and pond scum.

And all the theropods had pouches. Obviously.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:44 PM on September 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

“The feathers of a green-headed mallard exist only once in nature,” says Kosemen. “There’s no way in the world that a specific bird’s clothing would be replicated in a dinosaur in the past.”

Don't tell the northern shoveler.
posted by elsietheeel at 6:14 PM on September 24, 2017 [13 favorites]

One of my huge pet peeves ever since I put it together with how a fluffy dog looks completely different when they are soaking wet.

Plus there are never any dinosaurs depicted with crazy plumage like say a wood duck.
posted by Mitheral at 7:05 PM on September 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

For example, consider the paws on this domestic cat nightmare fuel. (SFW version here)
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:47 PM on September 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

These swans go to eleven!
posted by blue_beetle at 8:48 PM on September 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

This is great! And thanks to this post, I found Life on Snaiad which is an entire zoological examination of the radiation of animal life on a hypothetical planet "somewhat similar to Earth." Thanks, deludingmyself!
posted by deadbilly at 10:07 PM on September 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

Also, owls.
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 2:28 AM on September 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

This may be a fun critique of the way artists depict dinos, but I feel it's rather disingenuous to talk about fossil reconstruction without a single mention of the techniques paleontologists (and anthropologists) use in examining skeletal remains. Soft tissue, particularly muscles and tendons, leave their mark, and bones conform to anchor, support, and counterbalance the musculature.

It's probably not feasible to fake the fossils and/or find paleontologists that wouldn't notice, but the correct way to do this thought experiment would be to give them the skeleton of a modern animal and see what they come up with.
posted by Dr Dracator at 5:21 AM on September 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

The article did talk a bit about feather impressions, but it's equally true that we have skin impressions sometimes, indicating a lack of feathers. And then there's the nodosaur, where we really do have a decent idea what it looked like, at least in form - and it sure looks like what we thought they looked like.
posted by timdiggerm at 5:27 AM on September 25, 2017 [14 favorites]

Best comment on that hairless cat post: "there is no Dana, only Zool"
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:26 AM on September 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

If anyone else followed Don.Kinsayder's previously link, only to find that the free pdf of "All Your Yesterdays" had gone the way of the dinosaurs, it's still available on CM Koseman's site.
posted by gennessee at 7:10 AM on September 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

May I be the first to say: Eponysterical.

No, I'm sorry, but lots of people have said that before. Lots of them...
posted by Naberius at 7:11 AM on September 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

No, I'm sorry, but lots of people have said that before. Lots of them...

But they got the plumage all wrong.
posted by clawsoon at 7:30 AM on September 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

While I agree with the artist's criticisms in general, I think it is wise to be cautious about what paleoartists look at for inspiration. Crocodiles are often referenced in dino art because there is a well-established link in crocodile/dinosaur ancestry. When creating speculative plumage and body types for newly discovered remains, sticking to birds for inspiration is the wisest course.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 8:34 AM on September 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Crocodiles are often referenced in dino art because there is a well-established link in crocodile/dinosaur ancestry.

Cite, please.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:03 AM on September 25, 2017

I like the recurring raptor characters in this comic.
posted by anthill at 11:04 AM on September 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

the correct way to do this thought experiment would be to give them the skeleton of a modern animal and see what they come up with

Paleontologists and anthropologists already use extant species for comparison and analysis. The final artistic depiction of an extinct animal may involve artistic license, but the underpinning anatomy is firmly rooted in a scientific process involving multiple lines of investigation critiqued via peer review. This paper is an excellent and succinct summary of how paleontologists go about trying to determine the appearance of an animal from its fossil remains.
posted by Panjandrum at 3:30 PM on September 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

Worst case would be the hallucigenia. What if you didn't know what way round the swan skeleton was and drew it with its butt as its mouth?
posted by Artw at 3:45 PM on September 25, 2017

What if you didn't know what way round the swan skeleton was and drew it with its butt as its mouth?

See: Edward Drinker Cope, Elasmosaurus.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:22 PM on September 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

Sys Rq, dinosaurs, birds and crocodiles are phylogenetically related within the clade Archosaur.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 6:03 AM on September 26, 2017

This may be a fun critique of the way artists depict dinos, but I feel it's rather disingenuous to talk about fossil reconstruction without a single mention of the techniques paleontologists (and anthropologists) use in examining skeletal remains.

The book as sold on Amazon is fairly different from the free ebook linked above; in the published book, at least, the authors actually spend quite some time carefully discussing the techniques used by paleontologists to reconstruct soft tissue, hair, feathers, fat, postures, coloration, etc. Their main point is that these things are often ambiguous, and while their emaciated/hairless/featherless mis-reconstructions of birds and mammals are definitely exaggerated for humor, each example in the book is intended to show a specific instance of how even fairly sophisticated practitioners may simply lack enough information to accurately reconstruct soft tissues, decorations, and behaviors. It's a great little book for any budding paleonerds in the family!
posted by chortly at 7:07 PM on September 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

This thread made me dig out my absolute favorite book of now-outdated depictions of dinosaurs, the 1987 Dinosaurs! Childcraft Annual. I also have the 1976 Prehistoric Animals one, also an excellent choice.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:38 PM on September 26, 2017

And then there's the nodosaur, where we really do have a decent idea what it looked like, at least in form - and it sure looks like what we thought they looked like.

timdiggerm, the fossil in that NatGeo link is SO COOL. I mean, LOOK AT THAT THING. So cool. Thanks for sharing!
posted by alleycat01 at 8:20 AM on September 28, 2017