This part's a hook, this part a loop...
September 25, 2017 8:33 PM   Subscribe

 
Who thought making this was a good idea?
posted by FallowKing at 8:43 PM on September 25, 2017 [12 favorites]


That looks like they had a ton of fun making it. However, there is no reasoning given for why I would care that their trademark is preserved, other than that one lady making enough for her fun vacation. I hope she has other stuff going on, because I don't care enough about her vacation to put everything I say through an additional filter.
posted by amtho at 8:44 PM on September 25, 2017 [15 favorites]


I dunno, it made me aware of the generic name they'd prefer I use, in an amusing and catchy way. I have no intention of modifying my behavior in the slightest, but if they'd sent out a dry press release I would not given their message any attention at all.
posted by JDHarper at 8:58 PM on September 25, 2017 [14 favorites]


First of all, there should never be musical things or "fun" parody songs. They've never been good anywhere they have ever happened, in any context. Second of all, why would I stop calling velcro velcro? "Hook and loop", my foot. The Hook & Loop is either a boxing move or it's where you go to get an eel pie. Thirdly, no.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:58 PM on September 25, 2017 [30 favorites]


All I know is that if I were on a jury asked to figure out whether Velcro has been defending their trademark with sufficient zeal and they played me this as Exhibit #31, I'd for sure be voting in their favor.
posted by straight at 8:58 PM on September 25, 2017 [70 favorites]


Cute. Now I'll proceed to grab my velcro wallet and pop on my velcro gloves so I can go buy a pair of velcro shoes and wear them to shove a piece of off-brand velcro up the ass of anybody who tells me I must call it a "hoop and look fastener."
posted by zachlipton at 9:04 PM on September 25, 2017 [11 favorites]


Welcome to the world of Hoover, Kleenex, Q-Tips, Rollerblades, Chapstick, Jet Ski, Bubble Wrap, Jacuzzi, White-out and a gazzilian other brands that are now used as generic terms or even verbs.
posted by greenhornet at 9:05 PM on September 25, 2017 [28 favorites]


I just looked at the stuff I just used on some patches and it says VELCRO right on it. "VELCRO brand Hook and Loop Fastener. 499 Tan" So now I'm confused. As silly videos go it's better than most, but that doesn't mean it's good.

Do people generalize bleach as "Clorox?" This video is the first time I've heard that. Maybe "Clorox Bleach" but not just Clorox.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 9:06 PM on September 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


Well any soda pop (and not just cola) is certainly generalized as 'Coke' (depending on where you are).
posted by Rash at 9:24 PM on September 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


XEROX
posted by hippybear at 9:31 PM on September 25, 2017 [5 favorites]


Well any soda pop (and not just cola) is certainly generalized as 'Coke' (depending on where you are).

Southern NM represent! "Hey, you wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Orange."
posted by hippybear at 9:32 PM on September 25, 2017 [5 favorites]


"Hook and loop", my foot.

That would be painful. Especially if you've got hairy feet.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:36 PM on September 25, 2017 [5 favorites]


That was so moving I had to reach for a Kleenex®️ brand facial tissue.
posted by Joe in Australia at 9:41 PM on September 25, 2017 [13 favorites]


I liked it.

And we all just watched it, commented on it and discussed it. Well done, Advertising people!
posted by ashbury at 9:43 PM on September 25, 2017 [13 favorites]


Eh, every brand of velcro is the same.
posted by Yowser at 10:03 PM on September 25, 2017 [3 favorites]


The Hook and The Loop is a public house dating back to 1642 in Stropwattinghamshire-on-trombone and they would prefer you call it Velcro.
posted by ckape at 10:08 PM on September 25, 2017 [22 favorites]


Well OK then.

I was about to place an order for fifteen thousand Velcro fasteners for this next batch of shoes, but if you really want me to specify generic hook and loop instead then I guess I'm fine with that.
posted by flabdablet at 10:12 PM on September 25, 2017 [7 favorites]


Yes, I get that this is what happens Marketing and Legal realize that they're the two least popular departments in the company and decide, "To hell with the haters; let's have a baby!" I understand that these are paid performers, professionally contracted to create this video, and that any enjoyment I get from this is serving a nefarious corporate purpose. Even with this knowledge—even as I am procrastinating on putting final polish on my anti-corporate entry to the annual Interactive Fiction Competition—I feel no shame in admitting my enjoyment.
posted by jsnlxndrlv at 10:21 PM on September 25, 2017 [15 favorites]


This was actually a nice start to my day.
posted by groda at 10:41 PM on September 25, 2017


I look forward to the response music video from Colorado Governor John Hookandlooper.
posted by one for the books at 10:45 PM on September 25, 2017 [8 favorites]


It's cute, but it's not going to work. "Hook" and "loop" are too generic - they mean too many other things that have nothing to do with the fastener-combo. "My hook and loop shoes" could mean velcro-esque shoes, or it could mean my lace-up boots.

The generic of Xerox is photocopy. The generic of Kleenex is (facial) tissue. The generic of Velcro is a phrase that means something else entirely in many contexts.

It's a fun song and it'll work nicely in court to prove that they're vigorously defending their brand. It's just not going to change a bit of how people refer to the strip-of-fabric fasteners.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 10:55 PM on September 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


Wikipedia, of course, has an excellent list of genericized, generic, and "protected trademarks frequently used as generic terms," a.k.a. the trademark law endangered species list.
posted by lozierj at 11:03 PM on September 25, 2017 [7 favorites]


Apropos: Photocopy
posted by hubs at 11:18 PM on September 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


Remember when Thermos was a band name?
posted by Cranberry at 11:31 PM on September 25, 2017 [3 favorites]


I laughed very much.

I feel like Velcro knows that nobody's going to start using "hook and loop", and that they're definitely not going to start using it on account of a silly video made by one of the most colorless and staid brands on the planet. I would bet that they have a team of lawyers who spend their time making sure that various clothing and craft and home goods manufacturers don't use "Velcro" to describe their fasteners if not made by the actual brand. And that this is probably not the most exciting work, and everyone likes to sit around and have a bitch session about how "Velcro" gets used to refer to any hook-and-loop fastener. And someone started making a joke sort of like the video, and it made its way to marketing, and someone in Velcro was like "fuck it, we haven't released a commercial in decades, go to town".

They openly refer to this as a first-world problem and have styled it as a silly rock ballad. One of the women started dramatically ripping off her jacket. Maybe there is some case weaving its way through trademark court or whatever and this was produced for that. But I can also see it being a silly idea that they decided to run with.
posted by schroedinger at 12:06 AM on September 26, 2017 [11 favorites]


The Hook and The Loop is a public house dating back to 1642 in Stropwattinghamshire-on-trombone and they would prefer you call it Velcro.

'Velcro' seems like a rather modern name for a 17th century pub, don't you think?
posted by sexyrobot at 12:09 AM on September 26, 2017


I dunno. It has a certain Shakespearian resonance.

MACBETH To-night we hold a solemn supper sir,
               And I'll request your presence.

VELCRO   Let your highness
               Command upon me; to the which my bootes
               Are with a most convenient tie
               At present knit.
posted by flabdablet at 12:49 AM on September 26, 2017 [23 favorites]


HOOVER
posted by lazycomputerkids at 1:07 AM on September 26, 2017 [2 favorites]


Well, they have definitely reinforced my previous notion that Velcro is somehow related to fucking.
posted by chavenet at 1:26 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


To quote the comment I left on that video (look, Mom, no obscenities!)

Sorry, but I'm not using three syllables when two will do. Not to mention having to stop and explain to everyone what a hook and loop fastener is. Solve those and I will reconsider my position.
posted by Samizdata at 2:38 AM on September 26, 2017


The burdock is having its lawyer prepare a counterclaim.
posted by fairmettle at 3:09 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


Velcro's name comes from the French words velour (velvet) and crochet (hook). Can we compromise and call it Velvet Hook, or does that sound too much like a stripper?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:12 AM on September 26, 2017 [19 favorites]


Remember when Thermos was a band name?

I received a cease-and-desist-style letter from the good people at Thermos back in 1992 when I wrote "thermos" in a news article in a small (under 250k circulation) print-only newspaper. I was just glad to have proof someone read my story.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 3:16 AM on September 26, 2017 [27 favorites]


Saw this elsewhere, so it has spread ... like spilt milk.
posted by filtergik at 3:17 AM on September 26, 2017


Captain Boycott and Monsieur de Silhouette feel your pain.
posted by dannyboybell at 3:40 AM on September 26, 2017


I received a cease-and-desist-style letter from the good people at Thermos back in 1992 when I wrote "thermos" in a news article...

Did they tell you to use "dewar flask" instead? Because James Dewar didn't do squat to protect his brand.


When I am referring to an item that already has fuzz-and-claws material on it, how am I supposed to know whether it's Genuine Velcro Brand Stuff or not? Also, I notice they're not eager to take credit for incinerating three astronauts.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:55 AM on September 26, 2017 [2 favorites]


I wonder when they will go after ZZ Top?

On the other hand, there are some genericized trademarks the company would just as soon forget.
posted by TedW at 4:05 AM on September 26, 2017


That was awesome. And the casting was so perfect I am choosing to believe that they actually went to Weil, Gotshal or whatever huge legal firm represents Velcro and made everyone audition. No one disillusion me.
posted by Mchelly at 4:40 AM on September 26, 2017 [3 favorites]


Do people generalize bleach as "Clorox?"

I have definitely heard people use "Clorox" to refer generically to bleach, so yes, at least some people do.
posted by Orlop at 4:41 AM on September 26, 2017 [6 favorites]


It's cute, but it's not going to work.

Yes it is, the point is not to get people to say 'hook and loop' but to show that they're defending their trademark.
posted by signal at 4:44 AM on September 26, 2017 [15 favorites]


I just looked at the stuff I just used on some patches and it says VELCRO right on it. "VELCRO brand Hook and Loop Fastener. 499 Tan" So now I'm confused

That has it exactly right. They want you to use Velcro as the adjective modifying the generic term. So Velcro brand hook and loop fasteners, Kleenex brand facial tissues, Band-Aid brand bandages, etc. (btw notice that the jingle changed to “I am stuck on Band-Aid brand...” for this same reason).

We trademark attorneys know you’re not likely to change your behavior in normal conversation, but it’s important to make the effort. This definitely got a laugh in our crowd.
posted by schoolgirl report at 4:45 AM on September 26, 2017 [17 favorites]


Burdock fastener

But yes, this works probably as a kind of trademark enforcement. As advertisement rather less, because when have you ever bought velcro? (I mean, not some shoes or clothes or whatever which have velcro on it.) I guess there is no need whatsoever to do ads directed at the general consumer population.

Apart from having a product which doesn't need advertising, because your product is awesome. (That is, unless you put a velcro fastened jacket in the washing machine and forget a Kleenex off-brand tissue in a pocket...)
posted by ojemine at 4:54 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


Meanwhile, Microsoft has tried valiantly - and utterly risibly - to establish 'bing' as a generic term for searching, including paying movie makers to have their characters say stuff like "I'll just bing that". Nothing but nothing would make MS happier than to displace 'google' (the correct verb for searching on the internet), yet you know - just know - that were this ever to happen there would be a delay of between 1.3 to 2.1 nanoseconds before MS started to send out letters asking people to stop it.

Because that's how the game goes.

I had to deploy the legals one time at a publication, because we'd written a story about ITV (the commercial TV group in the UK, which is actually called ITV) and put it on the web, and the trademark holder of ITV in the US (remember Interactive Television?) sent us a cease-and-desist. In fact, that was my first actual legal threat written down on paper, so I remember it fondly.
posted by Devonian at 5:02 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


Heh. From TedW's link:
Thermos
Originally a Thermos GmbH[18] trademark name for a vacuum flask; declared generic in the U.S. in 1963.[19]
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:03 AM on September 26, 2017 [3 favorites]


Perfect Youtube comment: "This is like trying to tell me Plato isn't a planet."
posted by john hadron collider at 5:05 AM on September 26, 2017 [26 favorites]


The Hook and The Loop is a public house dating back to 1642

A quaint old place; they have a long sea-shanty written out on the wall...

O shun the pirate captain
With his trim three-masted sloop,
Or the end o' your adventure'll be
To hang from the hook and loop.


Avoid the scotch eggs.
posted by Segundus at 5:06 AM on September 26, 2017 [7 favorites]


In general, I buy the name brands more often than I don't (this Ask has a few reasons why), so I never feel bad saying band-aids, for example, because dammit, that's what I am actually using (and when I don't I suffer - curse you to hell, CVS bandages with your wimpy adhesive!). Though I just noticed I don't (apparently even mentally) often capitalize them.

But then I grew up a Kleenex person, because we always bought Kleenex brand, because my parents decided it was the best. So it was completely reflexive, that no matter what tissues I used, I always called them Kleenex. And then I married a guy with kids who were a strongly-aligned Puffs house. And Puffs are awesome! So for a few years, I was getting confused or annoyed looks from the kids about why I was calling tissues "Kleenex," what is that word even, wut? And I had to force myself to say "tissues" instead (because "pass me a Puffs?" Not gonna happen). So now I say tissues, pretty much reflexively, but whenever I go home to my parents and one of them says "pass me a Kleenex," man, it's like Proust's madeleine.™
posted by Mchelly at 5:07 AM on September 26, 2017 [7 favorites]


At least they're not assholes about it like the Duncan company (at least as far as we know).

While I was at Adobe, I received a bunch of information about trademark protection. The PostScript programming language was one. It was supposed to be "PostScript™ Software from Adobe" (doesn't that roll off the tongue well), although now "PostScript®" is acceptable.

The lawyers also got their collective panties in a knot over the misuse of PhotoShop as a verb or a noun describing an action. In the general guidelines about trademark usage, they have this gem:
Trademarks are not nouns.
Correct: The image pokes fun at the Senator
Incorrect: The photoshop pokes fun at the Senator.
But yeah, general sign of market success when your product/company name becomes the word the public uses.
posted by plinth at 5:31 AM on September 26, 2017


Just call it hookloop. Has a nice sci-fi ring to it, IMO.
posted by NMcCoy at 5:57 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


“"Thermos" remains a registered trademark in some countries, but it was declared a genericized trademark in the United States in 1963, since it is colloquially synonymous with vacuum flasks in general.”

Next time the good people at Thermos send you a C&D, you can politely tell them that you know what you are doing.
posted by ardgedee at 5:59 AM on September 26, 2017


Yeah, this is a considerably more fun version of the print ads that used to keep Writers Digest magazine afloat back in the day. They asked you not to say "Kleenex" in your literary work, but always refer to "Kleenex brand facial tissue."

They would actually like it if you didn't call all hook and loop fastener systems Velcro, but they know you're probably going to keep doing it. They can't really stop you. But one of the requirements for keeping a trademark is that you are actively using and defending it - i.e., that you have not abandoned it. This is one way to show that you are actively attempting to police use of your trademark, even though everyone knows they can't make you actually stop saying Velcro.

Now if I make those shoes, and I use some other company's hook and loop stuff, and I put in my ads that my shoes have convenient Velcro closures, at that point, I'll likely get a C&D from one of those people in the video.
posted by Naberius at 6:36 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: first of all, there should never be musical things
posted by Foosnark at 6:37 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


You'd think they'd just lean into it. Let it be generic, you're still the Velcro company.

"Buy only genuine Velcro."

Works for other companies. Everyone knows that Lego makes the best legos.
posted by explosion at 6:42 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


Segundus: "Avoid the scotch eggs."

3M would like a word.
posted by chavenet at 6:48 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


This part's a hook

The hook of the song is wayyyyyyy catchier than it has any right to be. The rest of the song is substandard Weird Al, but when they start singing "This is called hook and loop, this part's a hook, this part's a loop", I half-expected to hear Kesha pop out of nowhere and hit a super-emotional power note.
posted by 23skidoo at 6:58 AM on September 26, 2017 [6 favorites]


Well, contrats to them! it's a super effective video.

Now I'll go out of my way to never, ever call any of it anything other than Velcro.
posted by uberchet at 6:59 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


Next time more dogs and ponies in your dog and pony show.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:02 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


This is Velcro defending their brand from the product they made. It works like this: they want to be able to put the Velcro brand on something else that is not hook and loop and have you recoginze that it is also Velcro... just not Velcro hook and loop. If they don't defend it, what happens is they have a harder time differentiating their original product (as superior - which means a designer shoe brand can increase their premium by saying Nike(R) with Velcro(R) hook and loop fasteners as opposed to Ziploc(R) with Velcro(R) intelliSeal(tm)... I just made up intelliSeal. I bet you thought it was some sort of new closing system built in, but no - with each bag you now get a trained seal that knows how to close it for you.

Point being, yes, this seems silly but this is how a company stays solvent
posted by Nanukthedog at 7:06 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


"Hook" and "loop" are too generic - they mean too many other things that have nothing to do with the fastener-combo. "My hook and loop shoes" could mean velcro-esque shoes, or it could mean my lace-up boots.

If I saw a pair of shoes being described as having a "hook and loop closure", I know they'd meant a Velcro-style closure

And then I'd get really pissed that those eighteen thousand buckles on those REALLY COOL BOOTS are essentially just for show
posted by Lucinda at 7:14 AM on September 26, 2017


All I know is that if I were on a jury asked to figure out whether Velcro has been defending their trademark with sufficient zeal and they played me this as Exhibit #31, I'd for sure be voting in their favor.

Right. They don't actually need us to cease and desist using the term, and they benefit from the confusion. They just need to show they tried, because otherwise they lose their registered trademark.

This is definitely trying. This video will likely save them hundreds or even thousands of billable hours.
posted by anotherpanacea at 7:21 AM on September 26, 2017 [3 favorites]


“Hoover” is only genericized in the UK and places where a UK-like version of English is spoken. Americans say “vacuum” for both the verb and the noun.

There’s a great bit in an episode of QI from several years ago now, in which Stephen explains about Velcro being the brand name, and “hook and loop fastener” being the product name, complete with practical demonstration of strips of the product to show the hooks and the loops. It’s all very Stephen-Fryish, and then he looks into the camera and says “THIS IS VELCRO,” which of course gets laughs and applause.

And then someone made a THIS IS VELCRO repetition video on YouTube with it.
posted by tzikeh at 7:45 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


According to the making of video, most of the "lawyers" are actors. Damn, they totally got me.
posted by mosst at 7:52 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


So we're just not gonna talk about how dude in the red tie is thirsty AF? ok cool cool cool
posted by solotoro at 7:55 AM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: most of the "lawyers" are actors.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:09 AM on September 26, 2017 [5 favorites]


I'm going to keep saying it just to stick it to them.
posted by RolandOfEld at 8:10 AM on September 26, 2017 [3 favorites]


I had a friend who worked in a school district in the '70s where they had an IBM copier and a Xerox mainframe.
Imagine the generic name confusion.
posted by MtDewd at 8:12 AM on September 26, 2017 [9 favorites]


Velcro should defend their trademark, and this is an unusually fun way of doing that. I feel like some brands have done such a great job of protecting their trademark that they miss out on the benefits of being just a little bit generic. I'm thinking of Xerox — I feel like I used to see the name used generically all the time, but for as long as I can remember I've just said "photocopy" and don't know the last time I used (or cared about using) a Xerox-brand photocopier.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 8:34 AM on September 26, 2017


The hook of the song is wayyyyyyy catchier than it has any right to be.

Right? On the last chorus I actually teared up a little -- you call it Velcro, but they're begging you! I guess I'm just sensitive to that particular chord progression.

Oh yeah, and I'm an IP lawyer.
posted by The Bellman at 8:36 AM on September 26, 2017 [5 favorites]


The hook of the song is wayyyyyyy catchier than it has any right to be.

don't forget the loop
posted by OverlappingElvis at 8:37 AM on September 26, 2017 [9 favorites]


Supposedly, during the Watergate hearings, Xerox had a full time guy whose job was to go through every single transcript looking for people claiming they Xeroxed something or had a Xerox, then write a polite reminder to the person in question that Xerox was a trademarked brand and not a verb or a noun in the way they were using it.
posted by mark k at 8:44 AM on September 26, 2017 [2 favorites]


Velcro is a real Spiderman-villain sort of name.

(As opposed to Thermos, the off-brand mad god who went up against the equally off-brand Avengists.)
posted by Grangousier at 8:44 AM on September 26, 2017


I confess the pattern I bought recently had "hook and loop strip" in the trims list, and I was well on my way to try to find bias tape with the metal hooks and loops, when I realized that they meant Velcro, but didn't want to pay money to put the name on a toddler's "generic" (NOT DISNEY) princess pattern.
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 9:59 AM on September 26, 2017 [3 favorites]


Velcrow
posted by mmrtnt at 10:54 AM on September 26, 2017


The lawyers also got their collective panties in a knot over the misuse of PhotoShop as a verb or a noun describing an action.

This is especially hilarious when you've been on Teamviewer sessions with Adobe engineers who use photoshop as a verb. (As in, "We couldn't replicate and thought you just photoshopped it".)
posted by nathan_teske at 11:44 AM on September 26, 2017 [2 favorites]


So, basically, they want to get the pee out of the pool. Good luck with that.
posted by acb at 12:31 PM on September 26, 2017


We could switch to the Japanese name for Velcro: magic tape.

Btw, linoleum was also a brand name.
posted by zardoz at 1:58 PM on September 26, 2017 [2 favorites]


Maybe it's because I've been working on the health care protests, but how'd they get Senator Cory Gardner to play the lead counsel?
posted by gauche at 2:11 PM on September 26, 2017


when have you ever bought velcro?

I made a bib for my daughter when she grew out of the baby bibs, and a word game where she could stick the words onto the pictures. I used Velcro® brand hook-and-loop fasteners for both.

The primary advantage of Velcro® brand hook-and-loop fasteners versus dollar-store hook-and-loop fasteners is the quality of the glue on the back.

That seems like it might be ironic, given that their focus is presumably on the quality of the hooks and loops on the front.
posted by clawsoon at 2:28 PM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


VELCRO is legal in both US and world tournament Scrabble as a non-capitalized generic word, so I think they are way too late.
posted by freecellwizard at 2:48 PM on September 26, 2017 [2 favorites]


As advertisement rather less, because when have you ever bought velcro?

Like a couple months ago? There's this double-sided green velcro (hooks on one side, loops on the other side) that's great for tying vines and other lightweight plants to stakes/posts/whatever-you-might-need-to-tie-lightweight-plants-to.
posted by 23skidoo at 2:52 PM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


I use generic hook-and-loop fasteners for bundling cables. You can get rolls of this stuff in short narrow strips quite cheaply, and you can make longer strips by using their own connective power to join them end-to-end.
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:26 PM on September 26, 2017


Yeah, I have bought velcro on several occasions for various crafts and DIY projects. I'm pretty sure I've never bought Velcro brand velcro though. That said, I enjoyed this video and wouldn't be upset if all marketing was of this quality.
posted by 256 at 3:29 PM on September 26, 2017


This is a brilliant viral piece. As JDHarper said, no one would pay attention to a press release. This was tailor made for social media. All the huffy "Screw these guys, I'll never say hook and loop! [link to video]" tweets are exactly what they wanted.
posted by AFABulous at 3:36 PM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


There's a behind the scenes video, btw. "We Are The World" was one of the creative influences.
posted by AFABulous at 3:38 PM on September 26, 2017


Do people generalize bleach as "Clorox?" This video is the first time I've heard that. Maybe "Clorox Bleach" but not just Clorox.

They do not. I'd suggest:

When you need to clean up a mess after sex
Call it a tissue it's not a *beeeeep*
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:02 PM on September 26, 2017


My hands down favourite part is the crazed look they all get at "THIS ONE'S A HOOK, THIS ONE'S A LOOP".

Like, if they have to explain this to some idiot one more time there will be murder.
posted by Omnomnom at 11:44 PM on September 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


The hook of the song is wayyyyyyy catchier than it has any right to be.

The chorus has been stuck in my head since I saw it yesterday.
posted by schroedinger at 1:25 PM on September 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


🎶 too many hooks 🎶
posted by AFABulous at 1:30 PM on September 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


GODDAMMIT AFABULOUS
posted by schroedinger at 8:57 PM on September 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


I use generic hook-and-loop fasteners for bundling cables.

You are a scholar and a gentleman, sir, and a cut above those dastardly villains who misemploy zip ties for that purpose. I salute you. Have some tasteful cable porn.
posted by flabdablet at 6:43 AM on September 28, 2017


Ha I thought this was hilarious. (Does that mean I should have gone to law school after all? Damnit.)
posted by alleycat01 at 8:29 AM on September 28, 2017


those dastardly villains who misemploy zip ties

If they're bundling cables permanently, they are not dastardly villains, because cable ties are perfectly acceptable to use. They are compact, strong, and quick to apply.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:31 AM on September 28, 2017


If they're bundling cables permanently, they are not dastardly villains, because cable ties are perfectly acceptable to use. They are compact, strong, and quick to apply.

So long as you're cutting off the excess in a way that doesn't leave a hand-gashing sharp edge behind.
posted by clawsoon at 9:13 AM on September 28, 2017


If they're bundling cables permanently...

Quite so.

On the other hand, the only place I've ever seen cables bundled anywhere even close to permanently is in automotive wiring looms. In particular, switch racks are far more unpleasant to deal with if the netadmin before you was a zip tie fetishist.

And the less said about the kind of technician who insists on short-leashing every component inside a PC chassis immovably into place by zip tying the wiring loom the better.
posted by flabdablet at 9:14 AM on September 28, 2017


So long as you're cutting off the excess in a way that doesn't leave a hand-gashing sharp edge behind.

Professionals use cable-tie guns that snap off the tails flush with the knot.


...the only place I've ever seen cables bundled anywhere even close to permanently is in automotive wiring looms

When I was assembling large-format document scanners, we had to tie the cables in bundles, or the electronics drawers would snag when being pulled out. Lots of other applications also wire things permanently, and secure that wiring using cable ties.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:48 AM on September 28, 2017


I suppose next you're going to try to convince me they're called "cable ties" because they were designed for tying cables together.
posted by flabdablet at 12:47 PM on September 28, 2017


It don't mean a thing if you ain't got waxed string...
posted by Devonian at 3:51 PM on September 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


I was kind of hoping for the Star Trek Enterprise reference but I could see that undercutting the premise of the piece.
posted by jadepearl at 6:18 AM on September 29, 2017


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