Crack Pipe Stadium
October 4, 2017 7:11 AM   Subscribe

 
Maybe they could compromise, name one of the urinal troughs in the new stadium after him
posted by thelonius at 7:23 AM on October 4 [17 favorites]


So what's in it for Tory?
posted by at by at 7:24 AM on October 4


Ah. Answering my own question: He's facing a run against Doug Ford next year to keep his office.
posted by at by at 7:25 AM on October 4 [6 favorites]


Obviously there’s some constituency that still supports Ford, else the mayor wouldn’t bother. Indeed, the last link notes that Rob’s brother will run for mayor next year.

Anyway. How do you pronounce “Etobicoke?”
posted by notyou at 7:27 AM on October 4


Oh for heaven's sake. I initially wanted to say "this cannot be real," but given how many things I've had to stop saying that about recently...yeah, sure. Of course. Why the fuck wouldn't John Tory want to name a stadium after the worst mayor Toronto ever had.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 7:27 AM on October 4 [1 favorite]


I have a theory… Rob Ford didn't really die, he just cast off his old skin and John Tory is the name of what slithered out.
posted by rodlymight at 7:31 AM on October 4 [3 favorites]


Gotta pander to Ford Nation. And that depends on if Ford Nation is dumb enough to fall for it, which, well...
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:37 AM on October 4 [1 favorite]




Washington, DC: "We've got the craziest politicians!"
Toronto: "Hold my beer."
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 7:47 AM on October 4 [9 favorites]


Anyway. How do you pronounce “Etobicoke?”

Eh-toe-bi-co. Don't pronounce the E and T in the same syllable and forget about the "KE".
posted by The Notorious SRD at 8:06 AM on October 4 [8 favorites]


The guy's last name is Tory? Well that's perfect.
posted by goatdog at 8:08 AM on October 4 [3 favorites]


Some background on John Tory:
As Ontario Conservative leader in 2007, his party platform included allowing private health care providers more access into Ontario's single-payer OHIP system, building more nuclear power plants, cracking down on native land disputes, extending public funding to all religious separate schools, and allowing those schools to teach creationism with public funds.
Thankfully he lost, but that's who we're dealing with here.
posted by rocket88 at 8:11 AM on October 4 [7 favorites]


As an American, it's kind of refreshing to see Canadians being batshit crazy.
posted by theora55 at 8:23 AM on October 4 [9 favorites]


As said upthread, this is Tory pandering to Ford's base in preparation for the upcoming Mayoral election. John Tory doesn't want to be spanked by Doug Ford again. (Safe For Work)

If you think naming a stadium after Rob Ford is a bad idea, please call the Mayor's office and let them know: 416-397-CITY (2489). If you live in Toronto, you can also call your City Councilor and urge them to vote no. You can find your City Councilor here.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 8:29 AM on October 4 [7 favorites]


why is your mayor named Joe Republican? is toronto just a giant clown city?
posted by indubitable at 8:53 AM on October 4 [3 favorites]


Canada is Great™, too!?
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 8:59 AM on October 4


How do you pronounce “Etobicoke?”

"Itty bit o'coke, eh?" said in Ford's voice.

Also, whenever the home team scores a giant neon sign of Ford hitting a glass pipe lights up.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:28 AM on October 4 [4 favorites]


The only thing that should be named after Rob Ford is the planned 6km, $3.5 billion (minimum!) subway extention that will add one stop to the network.

After years of his leading the charge against what he considered wasteful spending, the subway he championed, "The Rob Ford Gravy Train" has a nice ring to it.
posted by Chuckles McLaughy du Haha, the depressed clown at 9:34 AM on October 4 [2 favorites]


They should make a statue of him, holding a beer and a crack pipe, with that deranged, bug-eyed grin on his face...
posted by littlejohnnyjewel at 9:55 AM on October 4


Tory always seems to forget that Ford Nation types won't vote for anyone whose last name isn't Ford, and trying to pander to them is a waste of time. This explains, in part, why he's going to burn billions of dollars on his shitty subway extension; so Doug Ford can't yell about Tory's War On Cars. Spoiler; he will anyway.

Anyway, John Tory sucks, but if it comes down to him or Doug Ford...*weary sigh*
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:25 AM on October 4 [2 favorites]


Rob Ford was extremely popular in his riding, both as a city councilor and as mayor. Across the city he had a fair bit of support as well, and quite frankly I'm glad the cancer got him because if he was still healthy there's a good chance he'd either still be the mayor now or would have lost to Tory but win the upcoming election. If the people there want to name a football stadium after him then let them.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:37 AM on October 4


I'm not entirely convinced Doug will get very far in a mayoral election against Tory. Doug, believe it or not, is the more unlikable and less personable Ford brother. Compared to Rob, John Tory has been pretty banal, conservative for certain, but boringly conservative something which I think a broad segment of voters appreciate in suburban Toronto.

As for the stadium, its in Etobicoke. Most Torotontians will not be going to it and it will likely get demolished in a decade to make way for condos anyway so I say let the Ford family have it. Rob certainly preferred coaching to being a mayor. And if shuts Doug and his family up for a municipal election cycle I say it is a small price to pay.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:38 AM on October 4 [1 favorite]


How do you pronounce “Etobicoke?”

"Itty bit o'coke, eh?" said in Ford's voice.


I was thinking "Better Buy Coke" Stadium.
posted by w0mbat at 10:39 AM on October 4


Anyway. How do you pronounce “Etobicoke?”

Wikipedia sez /ɛˈtoʊbɪkoʊ/, but nobody talks like that. Those first and third vowels are really schwas at best, and often all but silent (uh-TŌB-uh-kō). The main thing is that the k's silent. No one knows why.

Now ask about Spadina!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:47 AM on October 4 [6 favorites]


They should make a statue of him, holding a beer and a crack pipe, with that deranged, bug-eyed grin on his face...

SHUT YO MOUTH The Rob Ford statue was last year's ohhellno. There would be no point anyway, this masterpiece will never be outdone.
posted by rodlymight at 10:54 AM on October 4 [3 favorites]


Rob Ford Memorial Pussy At Home Animal Adoption Centre
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:16 AM on October 4 [7 favorites]


The Rob Ford mayoralty prepared me for the Trump presidency, inasmuch as I am no longer surprised by candidates with no shame or moral compass or interest in sticking to their story, much less the truth. If I hadn't lived through four years of Mayor Rob, I'd be ranting twelve times a day about Trump and his administration. And it has likely prepared me for the next anti-politician who's going ot take office somewhere, because supporters for these sorts of super-corrupt leaders are not going away. I starting to think this is going to be the new normal, frankly speaking.
posted by spoobnooble II: electric bugaboo at 1:10 PM on October 4 [1 favorite]


Doug will need a lot more than just saying “folks” a lot to win the race. But there are still many cars (okay, mostly pickups) in my neighbourhood that have the original "Ford for Mayor" stickers. I don't get why Tory would do this: any recognition to the Fnord Brothers can only boost the family brand to his detriment.
posted by scruss at 2:07 PM on October 4


Now ask about Spadina!

Road, Avenue, or House?
posted by samhyland at 2:42 PM on October 4 [3 favorites]


Road, Avenue, or House?

Bus!
posted by rodlymight at 4:53 PM on October 4 [8 favorites]


Folks. City Council just voted no to the renaming.

May I suggest a more appropriate memorial? I propose a dumpster, perpetually alight, a shining beacon for all and sundry who pass through Etobicoke.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:52 PM on October 4 [2 favorites]


I don't get why Tory would do this: any recognition to the Fnord Brothers can only boost the family brand to his detriment.

Given the vote, I'm going to suggest a canny politician who knew the vote would fail and so felt the play was to side with Ford nation on the question & not make enemies of them over a question that was meaningless; the Ford supporters can go after council in outrage, while Tory keeps moving forward.
posted by nubs at 7:46 PM on October 4


I think nubs has it. If Tory had publicly opposed the motion, he would've given Doug Ford red meat to throw to his base. "John Tory won't support Rob Ford! Tory is a Downtown Elitist!" etc, etc

Here's how the final vote played out.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 3:11 AM on October 5 [1 favorite]


I hate this world we live in where John fucking Tory is the best bet to stave off another disastrous Ford mayorality.
posted by chrominance at 8:23 AM on October 5 [1 favorite]


With any luck, Tory & Ford will split the conservative vote and a progressive candidate will be sworn in as Mayor. Hey, it could happen!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 12:20 PM on October 5


What is the likelihood that Doug wants to use the risk of a split Conservative vote as negotiating leverage for favors to be determined later in exchange for dropping out of the race and endorsing Tory?
posted by at by at 4:35 AM on October 6


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