The dog jumped over the moon
October 4, 2017 2:34 PM   Subscribe

Just so everyone knows, the "her" is not a human, and the "husband" is not hers.
posted by jonathanhughes at 2:39 PM on October 4, 2017 [8 favorites]

So, like celebrity culture does for kids?
posted by freebird at 2:42 PM on October 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

posted by komara at 2:44 PM on October 4, 2017 [39 favorites]

The adorable cherry on top is her running back and forth trying to line up the moon so she can catch it in her mouth, and undoubtedly thinking the doggy equivalent of "I got it! I got it!"
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:47 PM on October 4, 2017 [4 favorites]

Excuse me, human, why aren't you fetching that ball for her??? You can see she can't reach it!
posted by praemunire at 2:50 PM on October 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

Blue’s not wrong, the moon is a ball.
posted by chavenet at 2:52 PM on October 4, 2017 [10 favorites]


Insufficient! I want to see followup video of this dog on Apollo 18.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:01 PM on October 4, 2017 [22 favorites]

That dog grew up to be Buzz Aldrin. And that's the rest of the story. </Paul Harvey
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 3:09 PM on October 4, 2017 [28 favorites]

NB: The related videos on YouTube are a blast. The moon is a hoax!
posted by nickzoic at 3:15 PM on October 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

Yes, the dog video is delightful, but beware of falling into the wormhole of moon truthers

...says someone who has just fallen into the wormhole of moon truthers
posted by neroli at 3:19 PM on October 4, 2017 [7 favorites]

This gives me hope that Laika died happy.
posted by adept256 at 3:22 PM on October 4, 2017 [5 favorites]

Oh, that poor dog.
posted by loquacious at 4:50 PM on October 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

Blue’s not wrong, the moon is a ball.

A ball made of green cheese.
posted by humboldt32 at 4:52 PM on October 4, 2017

This is 100% something my dog would do. He's 5 and for his whole life, I've been faking him out with ball throws. He only started to catch on about 6 months ago, and I think it's partly because he's just lazier now. It was great when he was younger and full of excess energy - he'd run halfway across a field before he realized I hadn't actually thrown a ball. I have to be careful when I take him swimming though - I suspect he would swim all the way to the other side of the lake if I tried to fake him out.

The thing that surprised me though was how good this dog's eyesight is. Don't most dogs have pretty crap vision?
posted by lunasol at 5:31 PM on October 4, 2017

The terrifying follow up is when the dog jumps up, pulls down the moon, and ends all life on Earth. Thanks, ball-fakers....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:51 PM on October 4, 2017 [19 favorites]

posted by lunasol at 5:31 PM on October 4 [+] [!]

baller move. eponysterical?
posted by mwhybark at 5:52 PM on October 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

The next 27 videos on this channel are all going to be Blue's let's play videos of Kerbal Space Program.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 6:32 PM on October 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

There are sight hounds, so no, not all dogs have bad vision. And I most certainly hope some of you get told you won a million dollars and the next word you hear is: “psyche!”. I’d be video taping your enthusiasm and ensuing disappointment and gleefully posting it all over you tube.
posted by Vaike at 6:53 PM on October 4, 2017

This appears to be a fine place for a derpy dog derail.

Two of my housemates are, as far as I can tell, dogs. They are roughly of dog shape and size, owners of tails which indeed wag, seem to prefer going about on all fours and they are deeply enthusiastic about smelling things, usually foul or pungent. They also don't speak a word of English, as far as I can tell.

One of them is some kind of exceedingly derpy oversized boxer-pit-something mutt with sweet, beautiful amber eyes in a head like an old tree stump or anvil. Somewhere in his ponderous oaky skull is apparently about three or four neurons that combine to provide a handful of remarkably simple behavioral traits.

Those traits are, roughly: Sleep, pet me, run, smell everything, lick/hump everything and FUCK YOU DEER I'M GOING TO EAT YOU LET ME GO LET ME GO FUCK YOU DEER I FUCKING HATE YOU DEER LET ME GO.

As emphasized with the capital letters this last trait likely consumes 70% of this dogs behavioral map as weighted by neuron count. Said dog is otherwise nominally peaceful until it sees a deer, any deer, of any size. Upon seeing a deer said dog turns into some kind of angry land shark fur missile.

I'm assuming that at some point in this dog's life it was subjected to the torture chamber of some kind of shadowy deer cabal that murdered this dog's entire family. If you are not prepared for this reaction and you're holding the dog's leash, you might actually get injured or go for a drag. If dog is not restrained it will easily clear a six foot fence like it's a crack in the sidewalk, and it'll chase that deer right through blackberry bramble.

Thankfully said fur missile has not actually yet caught any deer of any size, because said deer will probably kick dogs ass

It's actually a huge problem. That dog is otherwise a complete baby and sweetheart until it sees a deer.

The other dog is reportedly the world's largest corgi-sheepherder-something mutt mix. Shaped like a lobster roll or sausage sandwich with legs like a bowlegged clawfoot bathtub and the soul, jowls and barrel chest of a drill sergeant that can't retire soon enough. Nor, apparently, even after they actually retire.

I have not yet met another dog that is more perimeter-aware. Rumor has it that the ol' sarge's military career started with two voluntary tours in Vietnam as a Ranger, followed two tours with the Legion and after that things got shadowy for a while before the whole drill instructor thing.

I once had the lack of discretion to attempt to actually play with this dog by doing something so undignified as trying to clutch and hold said dog's snout, and he had my hand in his mouth so fast it was like triggering a bear trap, but applying just enough pressure to really get my attention and give me some no-nonsense meaningful eye contact that simply said "I'm going to tell you this only once: Don't." before just as meaningfully releasing my hand, stung but unmarked. Chastised.

Said oversized corgi's normal, calm announcement of any visible intruder larger than a sparrow is about thirty seconds of barking crisp enough to make you feel bad that you're not standing at attention in freshly starched and creased olive drab pants. It is only due to the combined grace of stature of short dog and architecture of high windows that said corgi doesn't announce the presence of more intruders.

The more elaborate annunciation of human sized intruders breaching the perimeter - including housemates and the humans that feed them - can last several minutes. An actual stranger can bring down so much fire and brimstone for so long you're left so stunned and dizzy you start seriously thinking about signing up for boot camp as a calm reprieve.

I once had a perfectly calm dream interrupted at around 4 am by said corgi, in which I spent about 15-30 seconds struggling to wake up and believing the house was on fire or something was happening and he was running around shouting "WOAH. WOAH!! WOAH! WOAH!" over again, and slowly, it morphed from dream-English to dog... "woah wroah roah ruff ruff ruff."

I still can't not hear that poor, high strung oversized corgi going "Woah! Woah! Woah! WOAH! Woooah!" every time it goes off on an alarm-barking spree.

And this is why I like to mess with said corgi with fake ball throws. It keeps both of us highly entertained. I'm starting to have to get increasingly clever about how I throw the ball and how I hide it mid throw.
posted by loquacious at 6:56 PM on October 4, 2017 [28 favorites]

For a moon derail: our satellite (I'm pretty sure it's round) is 99.6% full right now, and it's fucking beautiful. They call this one the harvest moon.
posted by kozad at 7:26 PM on October 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

go get the dog
out on the hill
he wants to lick
the mooooooooon

posted by moonmilk at 10:00 PM on October 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

This is why cats are superior. They're not going to bother to chase the fucking ball in the first place. Or if you pull a trick like this on them, they'll figure it out. And then try to murder you in your sleep by knocking the lamp over onto your head.
posted by Nelson at 12:48 AM on October 5, 2017

Cats don't care about balls.
posted by Pendragon at 3:01 AM on October 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

Insufficient! I want to see followup video of this dog on Apollo 18.

That's one small step for ... dog, one giant leap for...

[growls, leaps, bites moon with an eye to deflating it]
posted by zippy at 7:21 AM on October 5, 2017

Yeah, came here to add that the related videos are a doozy: I didn't realize there was such a substantial YouTube presence (with so many views!) of moon hoaxers. Further proof that YouTube's algorithm is broken, though at least amidst all the insanity, there are some sweet doggo videos.
posted by nonmerci at 7:48 AM on October 5, 2017

my name is Dog
and wen i play
with Man, who throws
the ball away

and wen it does
not come down soon
i jump up high
i fetch the moon
posted by Daily Alice at 8:46 AM on October 5, 2017 [20 favorites]

I'm curious where this initially turned up that suddenly made it go viral, since it's a year old. There's several viral video types in the comments asking for contact.
posted by tavella at 1:22 PM on October 5, 2017

In the coming days, weeks and months strange hammering sounds emerged from Blue's kennel, but her owners thought nothing of it until the eve of the harvest moon, when Blue launched a fifteen metre rocket made from dog food cans.

'I am a good girl,' thought Blue. She gazed skyward. Her eyes narrowed.

'Bad ball.'

Blue nosed a switch, arming the warhead.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:00 AM on October 6, 2017 [4 favorites]

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