"Molson's stock price fell sharply on the news of Bill Eves' passing"

October 6, 2017 10:40 AM

Perhaps most important to Bill was educating people on the dangers of holding in your farts. Sadly, he was unable to attain his life-long goal of catching his beloved wife Judy 'cutting the cheese' or 'playing the bum trumpet'—which he likened to a mythical rarity like spotting Bigfoot or a unicorn.

Silly obituaries. More silly obituaries.

James "Jim" Groth made his last wildly inappropriate and probably sarcastic comment on July 28th. Jim was born and immediately dubbed "our favorite child" to John and Joan Groth in March of 1963. Their constant love, support, caring far exceeded anything Jim deserved [be sure to read the complete obit].

[Mary Stocks] was a master cook in the kitchen. She believed in overcooking everything until it chewed like rubber so you would never get sick because all germs would be nuked. Freezing germs also worked, so by Friday our school sandwiches were hard and chewy, but totally germ free. All four of us learned to use a napkin. You would pretend to cough, spit the food into it and thus was born the Stocks diet. If anyone would like a copy of her homemade gravy, we would suggest you don't.

posted by Johnny Wallflower (5 comments total)

Bill Eves' actual obituary on a real honest to god webpage.
posted by ardgedee at 11:21 AM on October 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Bless you. Mods, could you swap the link in above the fold with ardegee‘s?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:32 PM on October 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Mod note: Absolutely, done.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 4:34 PM on October 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Perhaps most important to Bill was educating people on the dangers of holding in your farts.

[more inside]
posted by problemspace at 8:25 PM on October 6, 2017 [3 favorites]

I've met a few funny people around Kingston. My cousin had a surprise addition to her family a few years ago and put a birth announcement into the Kingston paper. Her husband was in his 50s, so they gave special thank you to the Battersea Memorial Geriactric Fertility unit.
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:37 AM on October 7, 2017